`AndI,too,mustupandoff!’repliedtheother,springingoutofbedsosuddenlythatthesoftpartsofherpersonshook。Suejumpedasideintrepidation。`Lord,Iamonlyawoman-notasix-footsojer!……Justamoment,dear,’shecontinued,puttingherhandonSue’sarm。
  `IreallydidwanttoconsultJudeonalittlematterofbusiness,asI
  toldhim。Icameaboutthatmorethananythingelse。WouldherunuptospeaktomeatthestationasIamgoing?Youthinknot。Well,I’llwritetohimaboutit。Ididn’twanttowriteit,butnevermind-Iwill。’
  JudetheObscureChapter37V-iiiWhenSuereachedhomeJudewasawaitingheratthedoortotaketheinitialsteptowardstheirmarriage。Sheclaspedhisarm,andtheywentalongsilentlytogether,astruecomradesoft-timesdo。Hesawthatshewaspreoccupied,andforboretoquestionher。
  `OhJude-I’vebeentalkingtoher,’shesaidatlast。`IwishIhadn’t!Andyetitisbesttoberemindedofthings。’
  `Ihopeshewascivil。’
  `Yes。I-Ican’thelplikingher-justalittlebit!She’snotanungenerousnature;andIamsogladherdifficultieshaveallsuddenlyended。’SheexplainedhowArabellahadbeensummonedback,andwouldbeenabledtoretrieveherposition。`Iwasreferringtoouroldquestion。
  WhatArabellahasbeensayingtomehasmademefeelmorethaneverhowhopelesslyvulgaraninstitutionlegalmarriageis-asortoftraptocatchaman-Ican’tbeartothinkofit。IwishIhadn’tpromisedtoletyouputupthebannsthismorning!’
  `Oh,don’tmindme。Anytimewilldoforme。Ithoughtyoumightliketogetitoverquickly,now。’
  `Indeed,Idon’tfeelanymoreanxiousnowthanIdidbefore。
  PerhapswithanyothermanImightbealittleanxious;butamongtheveryfewvirtuespossessedbyyourfamilyandmine,dear,IthinkImaysetstaunchness。SoIamnotabitfrightenedaboutlosingyou,nowIreallyamyoursandyoureallyaremine。Infact,IameasierinmymindthanIwas,formyconscienceisclearaboutRichard,whonowhasarighttohisfreedom。Ifeltweweredeceivinghimbefore。’
  `Sue,youseemwhenyouarelikethistobeoneofthewomenofsomegrandoldcivilization,whomIusedtoreadaboutinmybygone,wasted,classicaldays,ratherthanadenizenofamereChristiancountry。IalmostexpectyoutosayatthesetimesthatyouhavejustbeentalkingtosomefriendwhomyoumetintheViaSacra,aboutthelatestnewsofOctaviaorLivia;orhavebeenlisteningtoAspasia’seloquence,orhavebeenwatchingPraxiteleschisellingawayathislatestVenus,whilePhrynemadecomplaintthatshewastiredofposing。’
  Theyhadnowreachedthehouseoftheparishclerk。Suestoodback,whileherloverwentuptothedoor。Hishandwasraisedtoknockwhenshesaid:`Jude!’
  Helookedround。
  `Waitaminute,wouldyoumind?’
  Hecamebacktoher。
  `Justletusthink,’shesaidtimidly。`Ihadsuchahorriddreamonenight!……AndArabella——’
  `WhatdidArabellasaytoyou?’heasked`Oh,shesaidthatwhenpeopleweretiedupyoucouldgetthelawofamanbetterifhebeatyou-andhowwhencouplesquarrelled……
  Jude,doyouthinkthatwhenyoumusthavemewithyoubylaw,weshallbesohappyaswearenow?Themenandwomenofourfamilyareverygenerouswheneverythingdependsupontheirgoodwill,buttheyalwayskickagainstcompulsion。Don’tyoudreadtheattitudethatinsensiblyarisesoutoflegalobligation?Don’tyouthinkitisdestructivetoapassionwhoseessenceisitsgratuitousness?’
  `Uponmyword,love,youarebeginningtofrightenme,too,withallthisforeboding!Well,let’sgobackandthinkitover。’
  Herfacebrightened。`Yes-sowewill!’saidshe。Andtheyturnedfromtheclerk’sdoor,Suetakinghisarmandmurmuringastheywalkedonhomeward:
  Canyoukeepthebeefromranging,Orthering-dovesneckfromchanging?
  No!Norfetter’dlove……Theythoughtitover,orpostponedthinking。Certainlytheypostponedaction,andseemedtoliveoninadreamyparadise。Attheendofafortnightorthreeweeksmattersremainedunadvanced,andnobannswereannouncedtotheearsofanyAldbrickhamcongregation。
  WhilsttheywerepostponingandpostponingthusaletterandanewspaperarrivedbeforebreakfastonemorningfromArabella。SeeingthehandwritingJudewentuptoSue’sroomandtoldher,andassoonasshewasdressedshehasteneddown。Sueopenedthenewspaper;Judetheletter。
  Afterglancingatthepapersheheldacrossthefirstpagetohimwithherfingeronaparagraph;buthewassoabsorbedinhisletterthathedidnotturnawhile。
  `Look!’saidshe。
  Helookedandread。ThepaperwasonethatcirculatedinSouthLondononly,andthemarkedadvertisementwassimplytheannouncementofamarriageatSt。John’sChurch,WaterlooRoad,underthenames,`CARTLETT-
  DONN’;theunitedpairbeingArabellaandtheinn-keeper。
  `Well,itissatisfactory,’saidSuecomplacently。`Though,afterthis,itseemsratherlowtodolikewise,andIamglad。However,sheisprovidedfornowinaway,Isuppose,whateverherfaults,poorthing。
  Itisnicerthatweareabletothinkthat,thantobeuneasyabouther。
  Iought,too,towritetoRichardandaskhimhowheisgettingon,perhaps?’
  ButJude’sattentionwasstillabsorbed。Havingmerelyglancedattheannouncementhesaidinadisturbedvoice:`Listentothisletter。
  WhatshallIsayordo?’
  TheThreeHorns,Lambeth。DearJudeIwon’tbesodistantastocallyouMr。Fawley,-Isendto-dayanewspaper,fromwhichusefuldocumentyouwilllearnthatIwasmarriedoveragaintoCartlettlastTuesday。Sothatbusinessissettledrightandtightatlast。ButwhatIwriteaboutmoreparticularisthatprivateaffairIwantedtospeaktoyouonwhenIcamedowntoAldbrickham。Icouldn’tverywelltellittoyourladyfriend,andshouldmuchhavelikedtoletyouknowitbywordofmouth,asIcouldhaveexplainedbetterthanbyletter。Thefactis,Jude,that,thoughIhaveneverinformedyoubefore,therewasaboybornofourmarriage,eightmonthsafterIleftyou,whenIwasatSydney,livingwithmyfatherandmother。Allthatiseasilyprovable。
  AsIhadseparatedfromyoubeforeIthoughtsuchathingwasgoingtohappen,andIwasoverthere,andourquarrelhadbeensharp,Ididnotthinkitconvenienttowriteaboutthebirth。Iwasthenlookingoutforagoodsituation,somyparentstookthechild,andhehasbeenwiththemeversince。ThatwaswhyIdidnotmentionitwhenImetyouinChristminster,noratthelawproceedings。Heisnowofanintelligentage,ofcourse,andmymotherandfatherhavelatelywrittentosaythat,astheyhaveratherahardstruggleoverthere,andIamsettledcomfortablyhere,theydon’tseewhytheyshouldbeencumberedwiththechildanylonger,hisparentsbeingalive。Iwouldhavehimwithmehereinamoment,butheisnotoldenoughtobeofanyuseinthebarnorwillbeforyearsandyears,andnaturallyCartlettmightthinkhimintheway。Theyhave,however,packedhimofftomeinchargeofsomefriendswhohappenedtobecominghome,andImustaskyoutotakehimwhenhearrives,forIdon’tknowwhattodowithhim。Heislawfullyyours,thatIsolemnlyswear。Ifanybodysaysheisn’t,callthembrimstoneliars,formysake。WhateverImayhavedonebeforeorafterwards,IwashonesttoyoufromthetimeweweremarriedtillIwentaway,andIremain,yours,&;c。,ArabellaCartlett。Sue’slookwasoneofdismay。`Whatwillyoudo,dear?’sheaskedfaintly。
  Judedidnotreply,andSuewatchedhimanxiously,withheavybreaths。
  `Ithitsmehard!’saidheinanunder-voice。`Itmaybetrue!Ican’tmakeitout。Certainly,ifhisbirthwasexactlywhenshesays,he’smine。Icannotthinkwhyshedidn’ttellmewhenImetheratChristminster,andcameonherethateveningwithher!……Ah-Idoremembernowthatshesaidsomethingabouthavingathingonhermindthatshewouldlikemetoknow,ifeverwelivedtogetheragain。’
  `Thepoorchildseemstobewantedbynobody!’Suereplied,andhereyesfilled。
  Judehadbythistimecometohimself。`Whataviewoflifehemusthave,mineornotmine!’hesaid。`Imustsaythat,ifIwerebetteroff,Ishouldnotstopforamomenttothinkwhosehemightbe。Iwouldtakehimandbringhimup。Thebeggarlyquestionofparentage-whatisit,afterall?Whatdoesitmatter,whenyoucometothinkofit,whetherachildisyoursbybloodornot?Allthelittleonesofourtimearecollectivelythechildrenofusadultsofthetime,andentitledtoourgeneralcare。
  Thatexcessiveregardofparentsfortheirownchildren,andtheirdislikeofotherpeople’s,is,likeclass-feeling,patriotism,save-your-own-soul-ism,andothervirtues,ameanexclusivenessatbottom。’
  SuejumpedupandkissedJudewithpassionatedevotion。`Yes-
  soitis,dearest!Andwe’llhavehimhere!Andifheisn’tyoursitmakesitallthebetter。Idohopeheisn’t-thoughperhapsIoughtnottofeelquitethat!Ifheisn’t,Ishouldlikesomuchforustohavehimasanadoptedchild!’
  `Well,youmustassumeabouthimwhatismostpleasingtoyou,mycuriouslittlecomrade!’hesaid。`Ifeelthat,anyhow,Idon’tliketoleavetheunfortunatelittlefellowtoneglect。JustthinkofhislifeinaLambethpothouse,andallitsevilinfluences,withaparentwhodoesn’twanthim,andhas,indeed,hardlyseenhim,andastepfatherwhodoesn’tknowhim。`LetthedayperishwhereinIwasborn,andthenightinwhichitwassaid,Thereisamanchildconceived!’That’swhattheboy-myboy,perhaps,willfindhimselfsayingbeforelong!’
  `Ohno!’
  `AsIwasthepetitioner,Iamreallyentitledtohiscustody,Isuppose。’
  `Whetherorno,wemusthavehim。Iseethat。I’lldothebestIcantobeamothertohim,andwecanaffordtokeephimsomehow。I’llworkharder。Iwonderwhenhe’llarrive?’
  `Inthecourseofafewweeks,Isuppose。’
  `Iwish-Whenshallwehavecouragetomarry,Jude?’
  `Wheneveryouhaveit,IthinkIshall。Itremainswithyouentirely,dear。Onlysaytheword,andit’sdone。’
  `Beforetheboycomes?’
  `Certainly。’
  `Itwouldmakeamorenaturalhomeforhim,perhaps,’shemurmured。
  Judethereuponwroteinpurelyformaltermstorequestthattheboyshouldbesentontothemassoonashearrived,makingnoremarkwhateveronthesurprisingnatureofArabella’sinformation,norvouchsafingasinglewordofopinionontheboy’spaternity,noronwhether,hadheknownallthis,hisconducttowardsherwouldhavebeenquitethesame。
  Inthedown-trainthatwastimedtoreachAldbrickhamstationaboutteno’clockthenextevening,asmall,palechild’sfacecouldbeseeninthegloomofathird-classcarriage。Hehadlarge,frightenedeyes,andworeawhitewoollencravat,overwhichakeywassuspendedroundhisneckbyapieceofcommonstring:thekeyattractingattentionbyitsoccasionalshineinthelamplight。Inthebandofhishathishalf-ticketwasstuck。
  Hiseyesremainedmostlyfixedonthebackoftheseatopposite,andneverturnedtothewindowevenwhenastationwasreachedandcalled。Ontheotherseatweretwoorthreepassengers,oneofthemaworkingwomanwhoheldabasketonherlap,inwhichwasatabbykitten。Thewomanopenedthecovernowandthen,whereuponthekittenwouldputoutitshead,andindulgeinplayfulantics。Atthesethefellow-passengerslaughed,exceptthesolitaryboybearingthekeyandticket,who,regardingthekittenwithhissaucereyes,seemedmutelytosay:`Alllaughingcomesfrommisapprehension。
  Rightlylookedatthereisnolaughablethingunderthesun。’
  Occasionallyatastoppagetheguardwouldlookintothecompartmentandsaytotheboy,`Allright,myman。Yourboxissafeinthevan。’Theboywouldsay,`Yes,’withoutanimation,wouldtrytosmile,andfail。
  HewasAgemasqueradingasJuvenility,anddoingitsobadlythathisrealselfshowedthroughcrevices。Aground-swellfromancientyearsofnightseemednowandthentoliftthechildinthishismorning-life,whenhisfacetookabackviewoversomegreatAtlanticofTime,andappearednottocareaboutwhatitsaw。