Theimpendingsaleofthesebirdshadbeenthemosttryingsuspenseofthewholeafternoon。TheywereSue’spets,andwhenitwasfoundthattheycouldnotpossiblybekept,moresadnesswascausedthanbypartingfromallthefurniture。Suetriedtothinkawayhertearsassheheardthetriflingsumthatherdearsweredeemedtobeworthadvancedbysmallstagestothepriceatwhichtheywerefinallyknockeddown。Thepurchaserwasaneighbouringpoulterer,andtheywereunquestionablydoomedtodiebeforethenextmarketday。
NotingherdissembleddistressJudekissedher,andsaiditwastimetogoandseeifthelodgingswereready。Hewouldgoonwiththeboy,andfetchhersoon。
Whenshewasleftaloneshewaitedpatiently,butJudedidnotcomeback。Atlastshestarted,thecoastbeingclear,andonpassingthepoulterer’sshop,notfaroff,shesawherpigeonsinahamperbythedoor。
Anemotionatsightofthem,assistedbythegrowingduskofevening,causedhertoactonimpulse,andfirstlookingaroundherquickly,shepulledoutthepegwhichfasteneddownthecover,andwenton。Thecoverwasliftedfromwithin,andthepigeonsflewawaywithaclatterthatbroughtthechagrinedpoulterercursingandswearingtothedoor。
Suereachedthelodgingtrembling,andfoundJudeandtheboymakingitcomfortableforher。`Dothebuyerspaybeforetheybringawaythethings?’sheaskedbreathlessly。
`Yes,Ithink。Why?’
`Because,then,I’vedonesuchawickedthing!’Andsheexplained,inbittercontrition。
`Ishallhavetopaythepoultererforthem,ifhedoesn’tcatchthem,’saidJude。`Butnevermind。Don’tfretaboutit,dear。’
`Itwassofoolishofme!OhwhyshouldNature’slawbemutualbutchery!’
`Isitso,Mother?’askedtheboyintently。
`Yes!’saidSuevehemently。
`Well,theymusttaketheirchance,now,poorthings,’saidJude。
`Assoonasthesale-accountiswoundup,andourbillspaid,wego。’
`Wheredowegoto?’askedTime,insuspense。
`Wemustsailundersealedorders,thatnobodymaytraceus……
Wemustn’tgotoAlfredston,ortoMelchester,ortoShaston,ortoChristminster。
Apartfromthosewemaygoanywhere。’
`Whymustn’twegothere,Father?’
`Becauseofacloudthathasgatheredoverus;though`wehavewrongednoman,corruptednoman,defraudednoman!’Thoughperhapswehave`donethatwhichwasrightinourowneyes。’’
JudetheObscureChapter41V-viiFromthatweekJudeFawleyandSuewalkednomoreinthetownofAldbrickham。
Whithertheyhadgonenobodyknew,chieflybecausenobodycaredtoknow。Anyonesufficientlycurioustotracethestepsofsuchanobscurepairmighthavediscoveredwithoutgreattroublethattheyhadtakenadvantageofhisadaptivecraftsmanshiptoenteronashifting,almostnomadic,life,whichwasnotwithoutitspleasantnessforatime。
WhereverJudeheardoffree-stoneworktobedone,thitherhewent,choosingbypreferenceplacesremotefromhisoldhauntsandSue’s。
Helabouredatajob,longorbriefly,tillitwasfinished;andthenmovedon。
Twowholeyearsandahalfpassedthus。Sometimeshemighthavebeenfoundshapingthemullionsofacountrymansion,sometimessettingtheparapetofatown-hall,sometimesashlaringanhotelatSandbourne,sometimesamuseumatCasterbridge,sometimesasfardownasExonbury,sometimesatStoke-Barehills。LaterstillhewasatKennetbridge,athrivingtownnotmorethanadozenmilessouthofMarygreen,thisbeinghisnearestapproachtothevillagewherehewasknown;forhehadasensitivedreadofbeingquestionedastohislifeandfortunesbythosewhohadbeenacquaintedwithhimduringhisardentyoungmanhoodofstudyandpromise,andhisbriefandunhappymarriedlifeatthattime。
Atsomeoftheseplaceshewouldbedetainedformonths,atothersonlyafewweeks。Hiscuriousandsuddenantipathytoecclesiasticalwork,bothepiscopalandnoncomformist,whichhadriseninhimwhensufferingunderasmartingsenseofmisconception,remainedwithhimincoldblood,lessfromanyfearofrenewedcensurethanfromanultra-conscientiousnesswhichwouldnotallowhimtoseekalivingoutofthosewhowoulddisapproveofhisways;also,too,fromasenseofinconsistencybetweenhisformerdogmasandhispresentpractice,hardlyashredofthebeliefswithwhichhehadfirstgoneuptoChristminsternowremainingwithhim。HewasmentallyapproachingthepositionwhichSuehadoccupiedwhenhefirstmether。
OnaSaturdayeveninginMay,nearlythreeyearsafterArabella’srecognitionofSueandhimselfattheagriculturalshow,someofthosewhothereencounteredeachothermetagain。
ItwasthespringfairatKennetbridge,and,thoughthisancienttrade-meetinghadmuchdwindledfromitsdimensionsofformertimes,thelongstraightstreetoftheboroughpresentedalivelysceneaboutmidday。
Atthishouralighttrap,amongothervehicles,wasdrivenintothetownbythenorthroad,anduptothedoorofatemperanceinn。Therealightedtwowomen,onethedriver,anordinarycountryperson,theotherafinelybuiltfigureinthedeepmourningofawidow。Hersombresuit,ofpronouncedcut,causedhertoappearalittleoutofplaceinthemedleyandbustleofaprovincialfair。
`Iwilljustfindoutwhereitis,Anny,’saidthewidow-ladytohercompanion,whenthehorseandcarthadbeentakenbyamanwhocameforward:`andthenI’llcomeback,andmeetyouhere;andwe’llgoinandhavesomethingtoeatanddrink。Ibegintofeelquiteasinking。’
`Withallmyheart,’saidtheother。`ThoughIwouldsoonerhaveputupattheChequersorTheJack。Youcan’tgetmuchatthesetemperancehouses。’
`Now,don’tyougivewaytogluttonousdesires,mychild,’saidthewomaninweedsreprovingly。`Thisistheproperplace。Verywell:we’llmeetinhalfanhour,unlessyoucomewithmetofindoutwherethesiteofthenewchapelis?’
`Idon’tcareto。Youcantellme。’
Thecompanionsthenwenttheirseveralways,theoneincrapewalkingfirmlyalongwithamienofdisconnectionfromhermiscellaneoussurroundings。Makinginquiriesshecametoahoarding,withinwhichwereexcavationsdenotingthefoundationsofabuilding;andontheboardswithoutoneortwolargepostersannouncingthatthefoundation-stoneofthechapelabouttobeerectedwouldbelaidthatafternoonatthreeo’clockbyaLondonpreacherofgreatpopularityamonghisbody。
Havingascertainedthusmuchtheimmenselyweededwidowretracedhersteps,andgaveherselfleisuretoobservethemovementsofthefair。
Byandbyherattentionwasarrestedbyalittlestallofcakesandginger-breads,standingbetweenthemorepretentiouserectionsoftrestlesandcanvas。
Itwascoveredwithanimmaculatecloth,andtendedbyayoungwomanapparentlyunusedtothebusiness,shebeingaccompaniedbyaboywithanoctogenarianface,whoassistedher。
`Uponmy-senses!’murmuredthewidowtoherself。`HiswifeSue-ifsheisso!’Shedrewnearertothestall。`Howdoyoudo,Mrs。Fawley?’
shesaidblandly。
SuechangedcolourandrecognizedArabellathroughthecrapeveil。
`Howareyou,Mrs。Cartlett?’shesaidstiffly。AndthenperceivingArabella’sgarbhervoicegrewsympatheticinspiteofherself。`What?-
youhavelost——’
`Mypoorhusband。Yes。Hediedsuddenly,sixweeksago,leavingmenonetoowelloff,thoughhewasakindhusbandtome。Butwhateverprofitthereisinpublic-housekeepinggoestothemthatbrewtheliquors,andnottothemthatretail’em……Andyou,mylittleoldman!Youdon’tknowme,Iexpect?’
`Yes,Ido。YoubethewomanIthoughtwermymotherforabit,tillIfoundyouwasn’t,’repliedFatherTime,whohadlearnedtousetheWessextonguequitenaturallybynow。
`Allright。Nevermind。Iamafriend。’
`Juey,’saidSuesuddenly,`godowntothestationplatformwiththistray-there’sanothertraincomingin,Ithink。’
WhenhewasgoneArabellacontinued:`He’llneverbeabeauty,willhe,poorchap!DoesheknowIamhismotherreally?’
`No。Hethinksthereissomemysteryabouthisparentage-that’sall。Judeisgoingtotellhimwhenheisalittleolder。’
`Buthowdoyoucometobedoingthis?Iamsurprised。’
`Itisonlyatemporaryoccupation-afancyofourswhileweareinadifficulty。’
`Thenyouarelivingwithhimstill?’
`Yes。’
`Married?’
`Ofcourse。’
`Anychildren?’
`Two。’
`Andanothercomingsoon,Isee。’
Suewrithedunderthehardanddirectquestioning,andhertenderlittlemouthbegantoquiver。
`Lord-Imeangoodnessgracious-whatistheretocryabout?
Somefolkswouldbeproudenough!’
`ItisnotthatIamashamed-notasyouthink!Butitseemssuchaterriblytragicthingtobringbeingsintotheworld-sopresumptuous-thatIquestionmyrighttodoitsometimes!’
`Takeiteasy,mydear……Butyoudon’ttellmewhyyoudosuchathingasthis?Judeusedtobeaproudsortofchap-aboveanybusinessalmost,leavealonekeepingastanding。’
`Perhapsmyhusbandhasalteredalittlesincethen。Iamsureheisnotproudnow!’AndSue’slipsquiveredagain。`Iamdoingthisbecausehecaughtachillearlyintheyearwhileputtingupsomestoneworkofamusic-hall,atQuartershot,whichhehadtodointherain,theworkhavingtobeexecutedbyafixedday。Heisbetterthanhewas;butithasbeenalong,wearytime!Wehavehadanoldwidowfriendwithustohelpusthroughit;butshe’sleavingsoon。’
`Well,Iamrespectabletoo,thankGod,andofaseriouswayofthinkingsincemyloss。Whydidyouchoosetosellgingerbreads?’
`That’sapureaccident。Hewasbroughtuptothebakingbusiness,anditoccurredtohimtotryhishandatthese,whichhecanmakewithoutcomingoutofdoors。WecallthemChristminstercakes。Theyareagreatsuccess。’
`Ineversawanylike’em。Why,theyarewindowsandtowers,andpinnacles!Anduponmywordtheyareverynice。’Shehadhelpedherself,andwasunceremoniouslymunchingoneofthecakes。
`Yes。TheyarereminiscencesoftheChristminsterColleges。Traceriedwindows,andcloisters,yousee。Itwasawhimofhistodotheminpastry。’
`StillharpingonChristminster-eveninhiscakes!’laughedArabella。`JustlikeJude。Arulingpassion。Whataqueerfellowheis,andalwayswillbe!’
Suesighed,andshelookedherdistressathearinghimcriticized。
`Don’tyouthinkheis?Comenow;youdo,thoughyouaresofondofhim!’
`OfcourseChristminsterisasortoffixedvisionwithhim,whichIsupposehe’llneverbecuredofbelievingin。Hestillthinksitagreatcentreofhighandfearlessthought,insteadofwhatitis,anestofcommonplaceschoolmasterswhosecharacteristicistimidobsequiousnesstotradition。’
ArabellawasquizzingSuewithmoreregardofhowshewasspeakingthanofwhatshewassaying。`Howoddtohearawomansellingcakestalklikethat!’shesaid。`Whydon’tyougobacktoschool-keeping?’
Sheshookherhead。`Theywon’thaveme。’
`Becauseofthedivorce,Isuppose?’
`Thatandotherthings。Andthereisnoreasontowishit。Wegaveupallambition,andwereneversohappyinourlivestillhisillnesscame。’
`Whereareyouliving?’
`Idon’tcaretosay。’
`HereinKennetbridge?’
Sue’smannershowedArabellathatherrandomguesswasright。
`Herecomestheboybackagain,’continuedArabella。`MyboyandJude’s!’
Sue’seyesdartedaspark。`Youneedn’tthrowthatinmyface!’
shecried。
`Verywell-thoughIhalf-feelasifIshouldliketohavehimwithme!……ButLord,Idon’twanttotakehimfrom’ee-everIshouldsintospeaksoprofane-thoughIshouldthinkyoumusthaveenoughofyourown!He’sinverygoodhands,thatIknow;andIamnotthewomantofindfaultwithwhattheLordhasordained。I’vereachedamoreresignedframeofmind。’
`Indeed!IwishIhadbeenabletodoso。’