`Youshouldtry,’repliedthewidow,fromthesereneheightsofasoulconsciousnotonlyofspiritualbutofsocialsuperiority。`Imakenoboastofmyawakening,butI’mnotwhatIwas。AfterCartlett’sdeathIwaspassingthechapelinthestreetnextours,andwentintoitforshelterfromashowerofrain。Ifeltaneedofsomesortofsupportundermyloss,and,as’twasrighterthangin,Itooktogoingthereregular,andfounditagreatcomfort。ButI’veleftLondonnow,youknow,andatpresentIamlivingatAlfredston,withmyfriendAnny,tobenearmyownoldcountry。I’mnotcomeheretothefairto-day。There’stobethefoundation-stoneofanewchapellaidthisafternoonbyapopularLondonpreacher,andI
droveoverwithAnny。NowImustgobacktomeether。’
ThenArabellawishedSuegood-bye,andwenton。
JudetheObscureChapter42V-viiiIntheafternoonSueandtheotherpeoplebustlingaboutKennetbridgefaircouldhearsinginginsidetheplacardedhoardingfartherdownthestreet。
Thosewhopeepedthroughtheopeningsawacrowdofpersonsinbroadcloth,withhymn-booksintheirhands,standingroundtheexcavationsforthenewchapel-walls。ArabellaCartlettandherweedsstoodamongthem。Shehadaclear,powerfulvoice,whichcouldbedistinctlyheardwiththerest,risingandfallingtothetune,herinflatedbosombeingalsoseendoinglikewise。
ItwastwohourslateronthesamedaythatAnnyandMrs。Cartlett,havinghadteaattheTemperanceHotel,startedontheirreturnjourneyacrossthehighandopencountrywhichstretchesbetweenKennetbridgeandAlfredston。Arabellawasinathoughtfulmood;butherthoughtswerenotofthenewchapel,asAnnyatfirstsurmised。
`No-itissomethingelse,’atlastsaidArabellasullenly。`I
camehereto-dayneverthinkingofanybodybutpoorCartlett,orofanythingbutspreadingtheGospelbymeansofthisnewtabernaclethey’vebegunthisafternoon。Butsomethinghashappenedtoturnmymindanotherwayquite。Anny,I’veheardofunagain,andI’veseenher!’
`Who?’
`I’veheardofJude,andI’veseenhiswife。Andeversince,dowhatIwill,andthoughIsungthehymnswi’allmystrength,Ihavenotbeenabletohelpthinkingabout’n;whichI’venorighttodoasachapelmember。’
`Can’tyefixyourminduponwhatwassaidbytheLondonpreacherto-day,andtrytogetridofyourwanderingfanciesthatway?’
`Ido。Butmywickedheartwillrambleoffinspiteofmyself!’
`Well-Iknowwhatitistohaveawantonmindo’myown,too!
Ifyouon’yknewwhatIdodreamsometimeso’nightsquiteagainstmywishes,you’dsayIhadmystruggles!’Anny,too,hadgrownratherseriousoflate,herloverhavingjiltedher。
`WhatshallIdoaboutit?’urgedArabellamorbidly。
`Youcouldtakealockofyourlate-losthusband’shair,andhaveitmadeintoamourningbrooch,andlookatiteveryhouroftheday。’
`Ihaven’tamorsel!-andifIhad’twouldbenogood……Afterallthat’ssaidaboutthecomfortsofthisreligion,IwishIhadJudebackagain!’
`Youmustfightvaliantagainstthefeeling,sincehe’sanother’s。
AndI’veheardthatanothergoodthingforit,whenitafflictsvolupshiouswidows,istogotoyourhusband’sgraveintheduskofevening,andstandalongwhilea-boweddown。’
`Pooh!IknowaswellasyouwhatIshoulddo;onlyIdon’tdoit!’
TheydroveinsilencealongthestraightroadtilltheywerewithinthehorizonofMarygreen,whichlaynotfartotheleftoftheirroute。
Theycametothejunctionofthehighwayandthecross-laneleadingtothatvillage,whosechurch-towercouldbeseenathwartthehollow。Whentheygotyetfartheron,andwerepassingthelonelyhouseinwhichArabellaandJudehadlivedduringthefirstmonthsoftheirmarriage,andwherethepig-killinghadtakenplace,shecouldcontrolherselfnolonger。
`He’smoreminethanhers!’sheburstout。`Whatrighthasshetohim,Ishouldliketoknow!I’dtakehimfromherifIcould!’
`Fie,Abby!Andyourhusbandonlysixweeksgone!Prayagainstit!’
`BedamnedifIdo!Feelingsarefeelings!Iwon’tbeacreepinghypocriteanylonger-sothere!’
Arabellahadhastilydrawnfromherpocketabundleoftractswhichshehadbroughtwithhertodistributeatthefair,andofwhichshehadgivenawayseveral。Asshespokesheflungthewholeremainderofthepacketintothehedge`I’vetriedthatsorto’physicandhavefailedwi’it。ImustbeasIwasborn!’
`Hush!Youbeexcited,dear!Nowyoucomealonghomequiet,andhaveacupoftea,anddon’tletustalkaboutunnomore。Wewon’tcomeoutthisroadagain,asitleadstowhereheis,becauseitinflames’eeso。You’llbeallrightagainsoon。’
Arabelladidcalmherselfdownbydegrees;andtheycrossedtheRidge-way。Whentheybegantodescendthelong,straighthill,theysawploddingalonginfrontofthemanelderlymanofsparestatureandthoughtfulgait。Inhishandhecarriedabasket;andtherewasatouchofslovenlinessinhisattire,togetherwiththatindefinablesomethinginhiswholeappearancewhichsuggestedonewhowashisownhousekeeper,purveyor,confidant,andfriend,throughpossessingnobodyelseatallintheworldtoactinthosecapacitiesforhim。Theremainderofthejourneywasdown-hill,andguessinghimtobegoingtoAlfredstontheyofferedhimalift,whichheaccepted。
Arabellalookedathim,andlookedagain,tillatlengthshespoke。
`IfIdon’tmistakeIamtalkingtoMr。Phillotson?’
Thewayfarerfacedroundandregardedherinturn。`Yes;mynameisPhillotson,’hesaid。`ButIdon’trecognizeyou,ma’am。’
`IrememberyouwellenoughwhenyouusedtobeschoolmasteroutatMarygreen,andIoneofyourscholars。IusedtowalkuptherefromCresscombeeveryday,becausewehadonlyamistressdownatourplace,andyoutaughtbetter。Butyouwouldn’tremembermeasIshouldyou?-
ArabellaDonn。’
Heshookhishead。`No,’hesaidpolitely,`Idon’trecallthename。AndIshouldhardlyrecognizeinyourpresentportlyselftheslimschoolchildnodoubtyouwerethen。’
`Well,Ialwayshadplentyoffleshonmybones。However,Iamstayingdownherewithsomefriendsatpresent。Youknow,Isuppose,whoImarried?’
`No。’
`JudeFawley-alsoascholarofyours-atleastanightscholar-forsomelittletimeIthink?Andknowntoyouafterwards,ifIamnotmistaken。’
`Dearme,dearme,’saidPhillotson,startingoutofhisstiffness。
`YouFawley’swife?Tobesure-hehadawife!Andhe-Iunderstood-’
`Divorcedher-asyoudidyours-perhapsforbetterreasons。’
`Indeed?’
`Well-hemedhavebeenrightindoingit-rightforboth;forIsoonmarriedagain,andallwentprettystraighttillmyhusbanddiedlately。Butyou-youweredecidedlywrong!’
`No,’saidPhillotson,withsuddentestiness。`Iwouldrathernottalkofthis,but-IamconvincedIdidonlywhatwasright,andjust,andmoral。Ihavesufferedformyactandopinions,butIholdtothem;
thoughherlosswasalosstomeinmorewaysthanone!’
`Youlostyourschoolandgoodincomethroughher,didyounot?’
`Idon’tcaretotalkofit。Ihaverecentlycomebackhere-
toMarygreen。Imean。’
`Youarekeepingtheschoolthereagain,justasformerly?’
Thepressureofasadnessthatwouldoutunsealedhim。`Iamthere,’
hereplied。`Justasformerly,no。Merelyonsufferance。Itwasalastresource-asmallthingtoreturntoaftermymoveupwards,andmylongindulgedhopesareturningtozero,withallitshumiliations。Butitisarefuge。Iliketheseclusionoftheplace,andthevicarhavingknownmebeforemyso-calledeccentricconducttowardsmywifehadruinedmyreputationasaschoolmaster,heacceptedmyserviceswhenallotherschoolswereclosedagainstme。However,althoughItakefiftypoundsayearhereaftertakingabovetwohundredelsewhere,Ipreferittorunningtheriskofhavingmyolddomesticexperiencesrakedupagainstme,asIshoulddoifItriedtomakeamove。’
`Rightyouare。Acontentedmindisacontinualfeast。Shehasdonenobetter。’
`Sheisnotdoingwell,youmean?’
`ImetherbyaccidentatKennetbridgethisveryday,andsheisanythingbutthriving。Herhusbandisill,andsheanxious。Youmadeafoolofamistakeabouther,Itell’eeagain,andtheharmyoudidyourselfbydirtingyourownnestservesyouright,excusingtheliberty。’
`How?’
`Shewasinnocent。’
`Butnonsense!Theydidnotevendefendthecase!’
`Thatwasbecausetheydidn’tcareto。Shewasquiteinnocentofwhatobtainedyouyourfreedom,atthetimeyouobtainedit。Isawherjustafterwards,andprovedittomyselfcompletelybytalkingtoher。’
Phillotsongraspedtheedgeofthespring-cart,andappearedtobemuchstressedandworriedbytheinformation。`Still-shewantedtogo,’hesaid。
`Yes。Butyoushouldn’thavelether。That’stheonlywaywiththesefancifulwomenthatchawhigh-innocentorguilty。She’dhavecomeroundintime。Wealldo!Customdoesit!It’sallthesameintheend!
However,Ithinkshe’sfondofhermanstill-whateverhemedbeofher。
Youweretooquickabouther。Ishouldn’thavelethergo!Ishouldhavekeptherchainedon-herspiritforkickingwouldhavebeenbrokesoonenough!There’snothinglikebondageandastone-deaftaskmasterfortaminguswomen。Besides,you’vegotthelawsonyourside。Mosesknew。Don’tyoucalltomindwhathesays?’
`Notforthemoment,ma’am,Iregrettosay。’
`Callyourselfaschoolmaster!Iusedtothinko’twhentheyreaditinchurch,andIwascarryingonabit。`Thenshallthemanbeguiltless;
butthewomanshallbearheriniquity。’Damnroughonuswomen;butwemustgrinandputupwi’it!Hawhaw!Well;she’sgotherdesertsnow。’
`Yes,’saidPhillotson,withbitingsadness。`Crueltyisthelawpervadingallnatureandsociety;andwecan’tgetoutofitifwewould!’
`Well-don’tyouforgettotryitnexttime,oldman。’
`Icannotansweryou,madam。Ihaveneverknownmuchofwomankind。’
TheyhadnowreachedthelowlevelsborderingAlfredston,andpassingthroughtheoutskirtsapproachedamill,towhichPhillotsonsaidhiserrandledhim;whereupontheydrewup,andhealighted,biddingthemgood-nightinapreoccupiedmood。
InthemeantimeSue,thoughremarkablysuccessfulinhercake-sellingexperimentatKennetbridgefair,hadlostthetemporarybrightnesswhichhadbeguntosituponhersadnessonaccountofthatsuccess。Whenallher`Christminster’cakeshadbeendisposedofshetookuponherarmtheemptybasket,andtheclothwhichhadcoveredthestandingshehadhired,andgivingtheotherthingstotheboyleftthestreetwithhim。Theyfollowedalanetoadistanceofhalfamile,tilltheymetanoldwomancarryingachildinshortclothes,andleadingatoddlerintheotherhand。
Suekissedthechildren,andsaid,`Howishenow?’
`Stillbetter!’returnedMrs。Edlincheerfully。`Beforeyouareupstairsagainyourhusbandwillbewellenough-don’t’eetrouble。’
Theyturned,andcametosomeold,dun-tiledcottageswithgardensandfruit-trees。Intooneofthesetheyenteredbyliftingthelatchwithoutknocking,andwereatonceinthegeneralliving-room。HeretheygreetedJude,whowassittinginanarm-chair,theincreaseddelicacyofhisnormallydelicatefeatures,andthechildishlyexpectantlookinhiseyes,beingalonesufficienttoshowthathehadbeenpassingthroughasevereillness。
`What-youhavesoldthemall?’hesaid,agleamofinterestlightinguphisface。
`Yes。Arcades,gables,eastwindowsandall。’Shetoldhimthepecuniaryresults,andthenhesitated。Atlast,whentheywereleftalone,sheinformedhimoftheunexpectedmeetingwithArabella,andthelatter’swidowhood。
Judewasdiscomposed。`What-isshelivinghere?’hesaid。
`No;atAlfredston,’saidSue。
Jude’scountenanceremainedclouded。`IthoughtIhadbettertellyou?’shecontinued,kissinghimanxiously。
`Yes……Dearme!ArabellanotinthedepthsofLondon,butdownhere!ItisonlyalittleoveradozenmilesacrossthecountrytoAlfredston。
Whatisshedoingthere?’
Shetoldhimallsheknew。`Shehastakentochapel-going,’Sueadded;`andtalksaccordingly。’