`Itisanaccursedthing-itremindsmeofwhatIwanttoforget!’
Suerepeated。`Itisonlyfitforthefire。’
`Lord,youbetoostrict!Whatdoyeusesuchwordsfor,andcondemntohellyourdearlittleinnocentchildrenthat’slostto’ee!UponmylifeIdon’tcallthatreligion!’
Sueflungherfaceuponthebed,sobbing。`Oh,don’t,don’t!Thatkillsme!’Sheremainedshakenwithhergrief,andslippeddownuponherknees。
`I’lltell’eewhat-yououghtnottomarrythismanagain!’
saidMrs。Edlinindignantly。`Youareinlovewi’t’otherstill!’
`YesImust-Iamhisalready!’
`Pshoo!Youbet’otherman’s。Ifyoudidn’tliketocommityourselvestothebindingvowagain,justatfirst,’twasallthemorecredittoyourconsciences,consideringyourreasons,andyoumedha’livedon,andmadeitallrightatlast。Afterall,itconcernednobodybutyourowntwoselves。’
`Richardsayshe’llhavemeback,andI’mboundtogo!Ifhehadrefused,itmightnothavebeensomuchmydutyto-giveupJude。But-`Sheremainedwithherfaceinthebed-clothes,andMrs。Edlinlefttheroom。
PhillotsonintheintervalhadgonebacktohisfriendGillingham,whostillsatoverthesupper-table。Theysoonrose,andwalkedoutonthegreentosmokeawhile。AlightwasburninginSue’sroom,ashadowmovingnowandthenacrosstheblind。
GillinghamhadevidentlybeenimpressedwiththeindefinablecharmofSue,andafterasilencehesaid,`Well:you’veallbutgotheragainatlast。Shecan’tverywellgoasecondtime。Thepearhasdroppedintoyourhand。’
`Yes!……IsupposeIamrightintakingheratherword。Iconfessthereseemsatouchofselfishnessinit。Apartfromherbeingwhatsheis,ofcourse,aluxuryforafogylikeme,itwillsetmerightintheeyesoftheclergyandorthodoxlaity,whohaveneverforgivenmeforlettinghergo。SoImaygetbackinsomedegreeintomyoldtrack。’
`Well-ifyou’vegotanysoundreasonformarryingheragain,doitnowinGod’sname!Iwasalwaysagainstyouropeningthecage-doorandlettingthebirdgoinsuchanobviouslysuicidalway。Youmighthavebeenaschoolinspectorbythistime,orareverend,ifyouhadn’tbeensoweakabouther。’
`Ididmyselfirreparabledamage-Iknowit。’
`Onceyou’vegotherhousedagain,sticktoher。’
Phillotsonwasmoreevasiveto-night。HedidnotcaretoadmitclearlythathistakingSuetohimagainhadatbottomnothingtodowithrepentanceoflettinghergo,butwas,primarily,ahumaninstinctflyinginthefaceofcustomandprofession。Hesaid,`Yes-Ishalldothat。
Iknowwomanbetternow。Whateverjusticetherewasinreleasingher,therewaslittlelogic,foroneholdingmyviewsonothersubjects。’
Gillinghamlookedathim,andwonderedwhetheritwouldeverhappenthatthereactionaryspiritinducedbytheworld’ssneersandhisownphysicalwisheswouldmakePhillotsonmoreorthodoxlycrueltoherthanhehaderstwhilebeeninformallyandperverselykind。
`Iperceiveitwon’tdotogivewaytoimpulse,’Phillotsonresumed,feelingmoreandmoreeveryminutethenecessityofactinguptohisposition。
`IflewinthefaceoftheChurch’steaching;butIdiditwithoutmaliceprepense。Womenaresostrangeintheirinfluencethattheytemptyoutomisplacedkindness。However,Iknowmyselfbetternow。Alittlejudiciousseverity,perhaps……’
`Yes;butyoumusttightenthereinsbydegreesonly。Don’tbetoostrenuousatfirst。She’llcometoanytermsintime。’
Thecautionwasunnecessary,thoughPhillotsondidnotsayso。
`IrememberwhatmyvicaratShastonsaid,whenIleftaftertherowthatwasmadeaboutmyagreeingtoherelopement。`Theonlythingyoucandotoretrieveyourpositionandhersistoadmityourerrorinnotrestrainingherwithawiseandstronghand,andtogetherbackagainifshe’llcome,andbefirminthefuture。’ButIwassoheadstrongatthattimethatI
paidnoheed。AndthatafterthedivorcesheshouldhavethoughtofdoingsoIdidnotdream。’
ThegateofMrs。Edlin’scottageclicked,andsomebodybegancrossinginthedirectionoftheschool。Phillotsonsaid`Good-night。’
`Oh,isthatMr。Phillotson,’saidMrs。Edlin。`Iwasgoingovertosee’ee。I’vebeenupstairswithher,helpinghertounpackherthings;
anduponmyword,sir,Idon’tthinkthisoughttobe!’
`What-thewedding?’
`Yes。She’sforcingherselftoit,poordearlittlething;andyou’venonotionwhatshe’ssuffering。Iwasnevermuchforreligionnoragainstit,butitcan’tberighttoletherdothis,andyououghttopersuadeheroutofit。Ofcourseeverybodywillsayitwasverygoodandforgivingof’eetotakeherto’eeagain。ButformypartIdon’t。’
`It’sherwish,andIamwilling,’saidPhillotsonwithgravereserve,oppositionmakinghimillogicallytenaciousnow。`Agreatpieceoflaxitywillberectified。’
`Idon’tbelieveit。She’shiswifeifanybody’s。She’shadthreechildrenbyhim,andhelovesherdearly;andit’sawickedshametoeggherontothis,poorlittlequiveringthing!She’sgotnobodyonherside。
Theonemanwho’dbeherfriendtheobstinatecreaturewon’tallowtocomenearher。Whatfirstputherintothismoodo’mind,Iwonder!’
`Ican’ttell。NotIcertainly。Itisallvoluntaryonherpart。
Nowthat’sallIhavetosay。’Phillotsonspokestiffly。`You’veturnedround,Mrs。Edlin。Itisunseemlyofyou!’
`Well。Iknowedyou’dbeaffrontedatwhatIhadtosay;butI
don’tmindthat。Thetruth’sthetruth。’
`I’mnotaffronted,Mrs。Edlin。You’vebeentookindaneighbourforthat。ButImustbeallowedtoknowwhat’sbestformyselfandSusanna。
Isupposeyouwon’tgotochurchwithus,then?’
`No。BehangedifIcan……Idon’tknowwhatthetimesbecomingto!Matrimonyhavegrowedtobethatseriousinthesedaysthatonereallydofeelafeardtomoveinitatall。Inmytimewetookitmorecareless;
andIdon’tknowthatwewasanytheworseforit!WhenIandmypoormanwerejinedinitwekeptupthejunketingalltheweek,anddrunktheparishdry,andhadtoborrowhalfacrowntobeginhousekeeping!’
WhenMrs。EdlinhadgonebacktohercottagePhillotsonspokemoodily。`Idon’tknowwhetherIoughttodoit-atanyratequitesorapidly。’
`Why?’
`Ifsheisreallycompellingherselftothisagainstherinstincts-merelyfromthisnewsenseofdutyorreligion-Ioughtperhapstoletherwaitabit。’
`Nowyou’vegotsofaryououghtnottobackoutofit。That’smyopinion。’
`Ican’tverywellputitoffnow;that’strue。ButIhadaqualmwhenshegavethatlittlecryatsightofthelicence。’
`Now,neveryouhavequalms,oldboy。Imeantogiveherawayto-morrowmorning,andyoumeantotakeher。IthasalwaysbeenonmyconsciencethatIdidn’turgemoreobjectionstoyourlettinghergo,andnowwe’vegottothisstageIshan’tbecontentifIdon’thelpyoutosetthematterright。’
Phillotsonnodded,andseeinghowstaunchhisfriendwas,becamemorefrank。`NodoubtwhenitgetsknownwhatI’vedoneIshallbethoughtasoftfoolbymany。Buttheydon’tknowSueasIdo。Thoughsoelusive,hersissuchanhonestnatureatbottomthatIdon’tthinkshehaseverdoneanythingagainstherconscience。ThefactofherhavinglivedwithFawleygoesfornothing。Atthetimesheleftmeforhimshethoughtshewasquitewithinherright。Nowshethinksotherwise。’
Thenextmorningcame,andtheself-sacrificeofthewomanonthealtarofwhatshewaspleasedtocallherprincipleswasacquiescedinbythesetwofriends,eachfromhisownpointofview。PhillotsonwentacrosstotheWidowEdlin’stofetchSueafewminutesaftereighto’clock。
Thefogofthepreviousdayortwoonthelow-landshadtravelledupherebynow,andthetreesonthegreencaughtarmfuls,andturnedthemintoshowersofbigdrops。Thebridewaswaiting,ready;bonnetandallon。
Shehadneverinherlifelookedsomuchlikethelilyhernameconnotedasshedidinthatpallidmorninglight。Chastened,world-weary,remorseful,thestrainonhernerveshadpreyeduponherfleshandbones,andsheappearedsmallerinoutlinethanshehadformerlydone,thoughSuehadnotbeenalargewomaninherdaysofrudesthealth。
`Prompt,’saidtheschoolmaster,magnanimouslytakingherhand。
Buthecheckedhisimpulsetokissher,rememberingherstartofyesterday,whichunpleasantlylingeredinhismind。
Gillinghamjoinedthem,andtheyleftthehouse,WidowEdlincontinuingsteadfastinherrefusaltoassistintheceremony。
`Whereisthechurch?’saidSue。Shehadnotlivedthereforanylengthoftimesincetheoldchurchwaspulleddown,andinherpreoccupationforgotthenewone。
`Uphere,’saidPhillotson;andpresentlythetowerloomedlargeandsolemninthefog。Thevicarhadalreadycrossedtothebuilding,andwhentheyenteredhesaidpleasantly:`Wealmostwantcandles。’
`Youdo-wishmetobeyours,Richard?’gaspedSueinawhisper。
`Certainly,dear:aboveallthingsintheworld。’
Suesaidnomore;andforthesecondorthirdtimehefelthewasnotquitefollowingoutthehumaneinstinctwhichhadinducedhimtolethergo。
Theretheystood,fivealtogether:theparson,theclerk,thecouple,andGillingham;andtheholyordinancewasresolemnizedforthwith。
Inthenaveoftheedificeweretwoorthreevillagers,andwhentheclergymancametothewords,`WhatGodhathjoined,’awoman’svoicefromamongthesewasheardtoutteraudibly:
`Godhathjinedindeed!’
Itwaslikeare-enactmentbytheghostsoftheirformerselvesofthesimilarscenewhichhadtakenplaceatMelchesteryearsbefore。
Whenthebooksweresignedthevicarcongratulatedthehusbandandwifeonhavingperformedanoble,andrighteous,andmutuallyforgivingact。
`All’swellthatendswell,’hesaidsmiling。`Mayyoulongbehappytogether,afterthushavingbeen`savedasbyfire。’’
Theycamedownthenearlyemptybuilding,andcrossedtotheschoolhouse。
Gillinghamwantedtogethomethatnight,andleftearly。He,too,congratulatedthecouple。`Now,’hesaidinpartingfromPhillotson,whowalkedoutalittleway,`Ishallbeabletotellthepeopleinyournativeplaceagoodroundtale;andthey’llallsay`Welldone,’dependonit。’
WhentheschoolmastergotbackSuewasmakingapretenceofdoingsomehousewiferyasifshelivedthere。Butsheseemedtimidathisapproach,andcompunctionwroughtonhimatsightofit。
`Ofcourse,mydear,Ishan’texpecttointrudeuponyourpersonalprivacyanymorethanIdidbefore,’hesaidgravely。`Itisforourgoodsociallytodothis,andthat’sitsjustification,ifitwasnotmyreason。’
Suebrightenedalittle。
JudetheObscureChapter48VI-viTheplacewasthedoorofJude’slodgingintheout-skirtsofChristminster-farfromtheprecinctsofSt。Silas’wherehehadformerlylived,whichsaddenedhimtosickness。Therainwascomingdown。AwomaninshabbyblackstoodonthedoorsteptalkingtoJude,whoheldthedoorinhishand。
`Iamlonely,destitute,andhouseless-that’swhatIam!FatherhasturnedmeoutofdoorsafterborrowingeverypennyI’dgot,toputitintohisbusiness,andthenaccusingmeoflazinesswhenIwasonlywaitingforasituation。Iamatthemercyoftheworld!Ifyoucan’ttakemeandhelpme,Jude,Imustgototheworkhouse,ortosomethingworse。
OnlyjustnowtwoundergraduateswinkedatmeasIcamealong。’Tishardforawomantokeepvirtuouswherethere’ssomanyyoungmen!’
ThewomanintherainwhospokethuswasArabella,theeveningbeingthatofthedayafterSue’sremarriagewithPhillotson。
`Iamsorryforyou,butIamonlyinlodgings,’saidJudecoldly。
`Thenyouturnmeaway?’
`I’llgiveyouenoughtogetfoodandlodgingforafewdays。’
`Oh,butcan’tyouhavethekindnesstotakemein?Icannotenduregoingtoapublichousetolodge;andIamsolonely。Please,Jude,foroldtimes’sake!’
`No,no,’saidJudehastily。`Idon’twanttoberemindedofthosethings;andifyoutalkaboutthemIshallnothelpyou。’
`ThenIsupposeImustgo!’saidArabella。Shebentherheadagainstthedoorpostandbegansobbing。
`Thehouseisfull,’saidJude。`AndIhaveonlyalittleextraroomtomyown-notmuchmorethanacloset-whereIkeepmytools,andtemplates,andthefewbooksIhaveleft!’
`Thatwouldbeapalaceforme!’
`Thereisnobedsteadinit。’