`Youcrush，almostinsultme，Jude！Goawayfromme！’Sheturnedoffquickly。
　　`Iwill。Iwouldnevercometoseeyouagain，evenifIhadthestrengthtocome，whichIshallnothaveanymore。Sue，Sue，youarenotworthaman’slove！’
　　Herbosombegantogoupanddown。`Ican’tendureyoutosaythat！’sheburstout，andhereyerestingonhimamoment，sheturnedbackimpulsively。`Don’t，don’tscornme！Kissme，ohkissmelotsoftimes，andsayIamnotacowardandacontemptiblehumbug-Ican’tbearit！’
　　Sherusheduptohimand，withhermouthonhis，continued：`Imusttellyou-ohImust-mydarlingLove！Ithasbeen-onlyachurchmarriage-anapparentmarriageImean！Hesuggesteditattheveryfirst！’
　　`How？’
　　`Imeanitisanominalmarriageonly。Ithasn’tbeenmorethanthatatallsinceIcamebacktohim！’
　　`Sue！’hesaid。Pressinghertohiminhisarmshebruisedherlipswithkisses：`Ifmiserycanknowhappiness，Ihaveamoment’shappinessnow！Now，inthenameofallyouholdholy，tellmethetruth，andnolie。
　　Youdolovemestill？’
　　`Ido！Youknowittoowell！……ButImustn’tdothis！Imustn’tkissyoubackasIwould！’
　　`Butdo！’
　　`Andyetyouaresodear！-andyoulooksoill——’
　　`Andsodoyou！There’sonemore，inmemoryofourdeadlittlechildren-yoursandmine！’
　　Thewordsstruckherlikeablow，andshebentherhead。`Imustn’t-Ican’tgoonwiththis！’shegaspedpresently。`Butthere，there，darling；
　　Igiveyoubackyourkisses；Ido，Ido！……AndnowI’llhatemyselfforeverformysin！’
　　`No-letmemakemylastappeal。Listentothis！We’vebothremarriedoutofoursenses。Iwasmadedrunktodoit。Youwerethesame。Iwasgin-drunk；youwerecreed-drunk。Eitherformofintoxicationtakesawaythenoblervision……Letusthenshakeoffourmistakes，andrunawaytogether！’
　　`No；againno！……Whydoyoutemptmesofar，Jude！Itistoomerciless！……ButI’vegotovermyselfnow。Don’tfollowme-don’tlookatme。Leaveme，forpity’ssake！’
　　Sheranupthechurchtotheeastend，andJudedidassherequested。
　　Hedidnotturnhishead，buttookuphisblanket，whichshehadnotseen，andwentstraightout。Ashepassedtheendofthechurchsheheardhiscoughsminglingwiththerainonthewindows，andinalastinstinctofhumanaffection，evennowunsubduedbyherfetters，shesprangupasiftogoandsuccourhim。Butshekneltdownagain，andstoppedherearswithherhandstillallpossiblesoundofhimhadpassedaway。
　　Hewasbythistimeatthecornerofthegreen，fromwhichthepathranacrossthefieldsinwhichhehadscaredrooksasaboy。Heturnedandlookedback，once，atthebuildingwhichstillcontainedSue；andthenwenton，knowingthathiseyeswouldlightonthatscenenomore。
　　TherearecoldspotsupanddownWessexinautumnandwinterweather；
　　butthecoldestofallwhenanorthoreastwindisblowingisthecrestofthedownbytheBrownHouse，wheretheroadtoAlfredstoncrossestheoldRidgeway。Herethefirstwintersleetsandsnowsfallandlie，andherethespringfrostlingerslastunthawed。Hereintheteethofthenorth-eastwindandrainJudenowpursuedhisway，wetthrough，thenecessaryslownessofhiswalkfromlackofhisformerstrengthbeinginsufficenttomaintainhisheat。Hecametothemilestone，and，rainingasitwas，spreadhisblanketandlaydowntheretorest。Beforemovingonhewentandfeltatthebackofthestoneforhisowncarving。Itwasstillthere；butnearlyobliteratedbymoss。HepassedthespotwherethegibbetofhisancestorandSue’shadstood，anddescendedthehill。
　　ItwasdarkwhenhereachedAlfredston，wherehehadacupoftea，thedeadlychillthatbegantocreepintohisbonesbeingtoomuchforhimtoendurefasting。Togethomehehadtotravelbyasteamtram-car，andtwobranchesofrailway，withmuchwaitingatajunction。HedidnotreachChristminstertillteno’clock。
　　JudetheObscureChapter51VI-ixOntheplatformstoodArabella。Shelookedhimupanddown。
　　`You’vebeentoseeher？’sheasked。
　　`Ihave，’saidJude，literallytotteringwithcoldandlassitude。
　　`Well，nowyou’dbestmarchalonghome。’
　　Thewaterranoutofhimashewent，andhewascompelledtoleanagainstthewalltosupporthimselfwhilecoughing。
　　`You’vedoneforyourselfbythis，youngman，’saidshe。`Idon’tknowwhetheryouknowit。’
　　`OfcourseIdo。Imeanttodoformyself。’
　　`What-tocommitsuicide？’
　　`Certainly。’
　　`Well，I’mblest！Killyourselfforawoman。’
　　`Listentome，Arabella。Youthinkyouarethestronger；andsoyouare，inaphysicalsense，now。Youcouldpushmeoverlikeanine-pin。
　　Youdidnotsendthatlettertheotherday，andIcouldnotresentyourconduct。ButIamnotsoweakinanotherwayasyouthink。Imadeupmymindthatamanconfinedtohisroombyinflammationofthelungs，afellowwhohadonlytwowishesleftintheworld，toseeaparticularwoman，andthentodie，couldneatlyaccomplishthosetwowishesatonestrokebytakingthisjourneyintherain。ThatI’vedone。Ihaveseenherforthelasttime，andI’vefinishedmyself-putanendtoafeverishlifewhichoughtnevertohavebeenbegun！’
　　`Lord-youdotalklofty！Won’tyouhavesomethingwarmtodrink？’
　　`Nothankyou。Let’sgethome。’
　　Theywentalongbythesilentcolleges，andJudekeptstopping。
　　`Whatareyoulookingat？’
　　`Stupidfancies。Isee，inaway，thosespiritsofthedeadagain，onthismylastwalk，thatIsawwhenIfirstwalkedhere！’
　　`Whatacuriouschapyouare！’
　　`Iseemtoseethem，andalmosthearthemrustling。ButIdon’trevereallofthemasIdidthen。Idon’tbelieveinhalfofthem。Thetheologians，theapologists，andtheirkinthemetaphysicians，thehigh-handedstatesmen，andothers，nolongerinterestme。Allthathasbeenspoiltformebythegrindofsternreality！’
　　TheexpressionofJude’scorpselikefaceinthewaterylamplightwasindeedasifhesawpeoplewheretherewasnobody。Atmomentshestoodstillbyanarchway，likeonewatchingafigurewalkout；thenhewouldlookatawindowlikeonediscerningafamiliarfacebehindit。Heseemedtohearvoices，whosewordsherepeatedasiftogathertheirmeaning。
　　`Theyseemlaughingatme！’
　　`Who？’
　　`Oh-Iwastalkingtomyself！Thephantomsallabouthere，inthecollegearchways，andwindows。Theyusedtolookfriendlyintheolddays，particularlyAddison，andGibbon，andJohnson，andDr。Browne，andBishopKen’
　　`Comealongdo！Phantoms！There’sneitherlivingnordeadhereaboutsexceptadamnpoliceman！Ineversawthestreetsemptier。’
　　`Fancy！ThePoetofLibertyusedtowalkhere，andthegreatDissectorofMelancholythere！’
　　`Idon’twanttohearabout’em！Theyboreme。’
　　`WalterRaleighisbeckoningtomefromthatlane-Wycliffe-
　　Harvey-Hooker-Arnold-andawholecrowdofTractarianShades’
　　`Idon’twanttoknowtheirnames，Itellyou！WhatdoIcareaboutfolkdeadandgone？Uponmysoulyouaremoresoberwhenyou’vebeendrinkingthanwhenyouhavenot！’
　　`Imustrestamoment，’hesaid；andashepaused，holdingtotherailings，hemeasuredwithhiseyetheheightofacollegefront。`ThisisoldRubric。AndthatSarcophagus；andUpthatlaneCrozierandTudor：
　　andalldownthereisCardinalwithitslongfront，anditswindowswithliftedeyebrows，representingthepolitesurpriseoftheuniversityattheeffortsofsuchasI。’
　　`Comealong，andI’lltreatyou！’
　　`Verywell。Itwillhelpmehome，forIfeelthechillyfogfromthemeadowsofCardinalasifdeath-clawsweregrabbingmethroughandthrough。AsAntigonesaid，Iamneitheradwelleramongmennorghosts。
　　But，Arabella，whenIamdead，you’llseemyspiritflittingupanddownhereamongthese！’
　　`Pooh！Youmayn’tdieafterall。Youaretoughenoughyet，oldman。’
　　ItwasnightatMarygreen，andtherainoftheafternoonshowednosignofabatement。AboutthetimeatwhichJudeandArabellawerewalkingthestreetsofChristminsterhomeward，theWidowEdlincrossedthegreen，andopenedthebackdooroftheschoolmaster’sdwelling，whichsheoftendidnowbeforebedtime，toassistSueinputtingthingsaway。
　　Suewasmuddlinghelplesslyinthekitchen，forshewasnotagoodhousewife，thoughshetriedtobe，andgrewimpatientofdomesticdetails。
　　`Lordlove’ee，whatdoyedothatyourselffor，whenI’vecomeo’purpose！YouknewIshouldcome。’
　　`Oh-Idon’tknow-Iforgot！No，Ididn’tforget。Ididittodisciplinemyself。Ihavescrubbedthestairssinceeighto’clock。Imustpractisemyselfinmyhouseholdduties。I’veshamefullyneglectedthem！’
　　`Whyshouldye？He’llgetabetterschool，perhapsbeaparson，intime，andyou’llkeeptwoservants。’Tisapitytospoilthemprettyhands。’
　　`Don’ttalkofmyprettyhands，Mrs。Edlin。Thisprettybodyofminehasbeentheruinofmealready！’
　　`Pshoo-you’vegotnobodytospeakof！Youputmemoreinmindofasperrit。Butthereseemssomethingwrongto-night，mydear。Husbandcross？’
　　`No。Heneveris。He’sgonetobedearly。’
　　`Thenwhatisit？’
　　`Icannottellyou。Ihavedonewrongto-day。AndIwanttoeradicateit……Well-Iwilltellyouthis-Judehasbeenherethisafternoon，andIfindIstilllovehim-oh，grossly！Icannottellyoumore。’
　　`Ah！’saidthewidow。`Itold’eehow’twouldbe！’
　　`Butitshan’tbe！Ihavenottoldmyhusbandofhisvisit；itisnotnecessarytotroublehimaboutit，asInevermeantoseeJudeanymore。ButIamgoingtomakemyconsciencerightonmydutytoRichard-bydoingapenance-theultimatething。Imust！’
　　`Iwouldn’t-sinceheagreestoitbeingotherwise，andithasgoneonthreemonthsverywellasitis。’
　　`Yes-heagreestomylivingasIchoose；butIfeelitisanindulgenceIoughtnottoexactfromhim。Itoughtnottohavebeenacceptedbyme。Toreverseitwillbeterrible-butImustbemorejusttohim。
　　OwhywasIsounheroic！’
　　`Whatisityoudon’tlikeinhim？’askedMrs。Edlincuriously。
　　`Icannottellyou。Itissomething……Icannotsay。Themournfulthingis，thatnobodywouldadmititasareasonforfeelingasIdo；sothatnoexcuseisleftme。’
　　`DidyouevertellJudewhatitwas？’
　　`Never。’
　　`I’veheardstrangetaleso’husbandsinmytime，’observedthewidowinaloweredvoice。`Theysaythatwhenthesaintswereupontheearthdevilsusedtotakehusbands’formso’nights，andgetpoorwomenintoallsortsoftrouble。ButIdon’tknowwhythatshouldcomeintomyhead，foritisonlyatale……Whatawindandrainitisto-night！Well-don’tbeinahurrytoalterthings，mydear。Thinkitover。’
　　`No，no！I’vescrewedmyweaksouluptotreatinghimmorecourteously-anditmustbenow-atonce-beforeIbreakdown！’
　　`Idon’tthinkyououghttoforceyournature。Nowomanoughttobeexpectedto。’
　　`Itismyduty。Iwilldrinkmycuptothedregs！’
　　HalfanhourlaterwhenMrs。Edlinputonherbonnetandshawltoleave，Sueseemedtobeseizedwithvagueterror。
　　`No-no-don’tgo，Mrs。Edlin，’sheimplored，hereyesenlarged，andwithaquicknervouslookoverhershoulder。
　　`Butitisbedtime，child。’
　　`Yes，but-there’sthelittlespareroom-myroomthatwas。
　　Itisquiteready。Pleasestay，Mrs。Edlin！-Ishallwantyouinthemorning。’
　　`Ohwell-Idon’tmind，ifyouwish。Nothingwillhappentomyfouroldwalls，whetherIbethereorno。’
　　Shethenfastenedupthedoors，andtheyascendedthestairstogether。
　　`Waithere，Mrs。Edlin，’saidSue。`I’llgointomyoldroomamomentbymyself。’