Amightyquestionindeed！WhoshallbePremier，andtakeinhandthe“rudderofgovernment，“otherwisecalledthe“spigotoftaxation；“shallitbetheHonorableFelixParvulus，ortheRightHonorableFelicissimusZero？ByourelectioneeringsandHansardDebatings，andever-enduringtempestofjargonthatgoesoneverywhere，wemanagetosettlethat；tohaveitdeclared，withnobloodshedexceptinsignificantbloodfromthenoseinhustings-time，butwithimmensebeershedandinkshedandexplosionofnonsense，whichdarkensalltheair，thattheRightHonorableZeroistobetheman。Thatwefirmlysettle；Zero，allshiveringwithraptureandwithterror，mountsintothehighsaddle；crampshimselfon，withknees，heels，handsandfeet；andthehorsegallops——whitheritlists。ThattheRightHonorableZeroshouldattemptcontrollingthehorse——Alas，alas，he，stickingonwithbeakandclaws，istoohappyifthehorsewillonlygallopany-whither，andnotthrowhim。Measure，polity，planorschemeofpublicgoodorevil，isnotintheheadofFelicissimus；except，ifhecouldbutdeviseit，somemeasurethatwouldpleasehishorseforthemoment，andencouragehimtogowithsofterpaces，godwardordevilwardasitmightbe，andsaveFelicissimus’sleather，whichisfastwearing。ThisiswhatwecallaGovernmentinEngland，fornearlytwocenturiesnow。
　　IwishFelicissimusweresaddle-sickforeverandaday！Heisadreadfulobject，howevermuchweareusedtohim。Ifthehorsehadnotbeenbredandbrokenin，forathousandyears，byrealridersandhorse-subduers，perhapsthebestandbravesttheworldeversaw，whatwouldhavebecomeofFelicissimusandhimlongsince？Thishorse，bysecond-nature，religiouslyrespectsallfences；gallops，ifneversomadly，onthehighwaysalone；——seemstome，oflate，likeadesperateSleswickthunder-horsewhohadlosthisway，gallopinginthelabyrinthiclanesofawoodyflatcountry；passionatetoreachhisgoal；
　　unabletoreachit，becauseintheflatleafylanesthereisnooutlookwhatever，andinthebridlethereisnoguidancewhatever。Sohegallopsstormfullyalong，thinkingitisforwardandforward；andalas，itisonlyroundandround，outofoneoldlaneintotheother；——nayaccordingtosome“hemistakes_hisownfootprints_，whichofcoursegrowevermorenumerous，forthesignofamoreandmorefrequentedroad；“andhisdespairishourlyincreasing。Myimpressionis，heiscertainsoon，suchisthegrowthofhisnecessityandhisdespair，to——plunge_across_thefence，intoanopenersurveyofthecountry；andtosweepFelicissimusoffhisback，andcombhimawayverytragicallyintheprocess！PoorSleswicker，Iwishyouwerebetterridden。IperceiveitliesintheFatesyoumustnoweitherbebetterridden，orelsenotlongatall。Thisplungingintheheavylabyrinthofover-shadedlanes，withone’sstomachgettingempty，one’sIrelandfallingintocannibalism，andnovestigeofagoaleithervisibleorpossible，cannotlast。
　　ColonialOffices，Foreign，HomeandotherOffices，gottogetherunderthesestrangecircumstances，cannotwellbeexpectedtobethebestthathumaningenuitycoulddevise；thewonderratheristoseethemsogoodastheyare。Whomadethem，askmenot。
　　Madetheyclearlywere；forweseethemhereinaconcretecondition，writingdespatches，anddrawingsalarywithaviewtobuypudding。ButhowthoseOfficesinDowningStreetweremade；
　　whomadethem，orforwhatkindofobjectstheyweremade，wouldbehardtosayatpresent。DimvisionsandphantasmagoriesgatheredfromtheBooksofHoraceWalpole，MemoirsofBubbDoddington，MemoirsofmyLadySundon，LordFannyHervey，andinnumerableothers，riseonus，beckoningfantasticallytowards，notananswer，butsomeconceivableintimationsofananswer，andproclaimingverylegiblytheoldtext，“_Quamparvasapientia_，“
　　inrespectofthishard-workingmuch-subduingBritishNation；
　　givingrisetoendlessreflectionsinathinkingEnglishmanofthisday。Alas，itiseverso：eachgenerationhasitstask，anddoesitbetterorworse；greatlyneglectingwhatisnotimmediatelyitstask。Ourpoorgrandfathers，sobusyconqueringIndias，foundingColonies，inventingspinning-jennies，kindlingLancashiresandBromwichams，tooknothoughtaboutthegovernmentofallthat；leftitalltobegovernedbyLordFannyandtheHanoverSuccession，orhowthegodspleased。Andnowwethepoorgrandchildrenfindthatitwillnotsticktogetheronthesetermsanylonger；thatoursad，dangerousandsoretaskistodiscoversomegovernmentforthisbigworldwhichhasbeenconqueredtous；thatthered-tapeOfficesinDowningStreetareneartheendoftheirrope；thatifwecangetnothingbetter，inthewayofgovernment，itisalloverwithourworldandus。HowtheDowning-StreetOfficesoriginated，andwhatthemeaningofthemwasoris，letDryasdust，wheninsomelucidmomentthewhimtakeshim，instructus。Enoughforustoknowandseeclearly，withurgentpracticalinferencederivedfromsuchinsight，Thattheywerenotmadeforusorforourobjectsatall；thatthedevouringIrishGiantishere，andthathecannotbefedwithred-tape，andwilleatusifwecannotfeedhim。
　　Onthewhole，letussayFelicissimusmadethem；——orratheritwasthepredecessorsofFelicissimus，whowerenotsodreadfullyhunted，stickingtothewildandevermoredesperateSleswickerintheleafylabyrinthoflanes，ashenowis。He，Ithink，willnevermakeanything；butbecombedoffbytheelm-boughs，andleftsprawlingintheditch。Butinpasttime，thisandtheotherheavy-ladenred-tapesoulhadwithalaglowofpatriotisminhim；nowandthen，inhiswhirlingelement，agleamofhumaningenuity，someeyetowardsbusinessthatmustbedone。Atallevents，forhimandeveryone，Parliamentneededtobepersuadedthatbusinesswasdone。Bythecontributionsofmanysuchheavy-ladensouls，drivenonbynecessityoutwardandinward，thesesingularEstablishmentsarehere。Contributions——whoknowshowfarbacktheygo，farbeyondthereignofGeorgetheSecond，orperhapsthereignofWilliamConqueror。Nobleandgenuinesomeofthemwere，manyofthemwere，Ineednotdoubt：forthereisnohumanedificethatstandslongbuthasgotitselfplanted，hereandthere，uponthebasisoffact；andbeingbuilt，inmanyrespects，accordingtothelawsofstatics：nostandingedifice，especiallynoedificeofState，buthashadthewiseandbraveatworkinit，contributingtheirlivestoit；andis“cemented，“whetheritknowthefactornot，“bythebloodofheroes！“None；noteventheForeignOffice，HomeOffice，stilllesstheNationalPalaveritself。WilliamConqueror，Ifind，musthavehadafirst-rateHomeOffice，forhisshare。The_DomesdayBook_，doneinfouryears，anddoneasitis，withsuchanadmirablebrevity，explicitnessandcompleteness，testifiesemphaticallywhatkindofunder-secretariesandofficialsWilliamhad。Silentofficialsandsecretaries，Isuppose；notwastingthemselvesinparliamentarytalk；reservingalltheirintelligenceforsilentsurveyofthehugedumbfact，silentconsiderationhowtheymightcompassthemasteryofthat。Happysecretaries，happyWilliam！
　　Butindeednobodyknowswhatinarticulatetraditions，remnantsofoldwisdom，pricelessthoughquiteanonymous，surviveinmanymodernthingsthatstillhavelifeinthem。BenBrace，withhistaciturnities，andruggedstoicalways，withhistarrybreeches，stiffasplank-breeches，Iperceiveisstillakindof_Lod-brog_Loaded-breeksinmoresensesthanone；andderives，littleconsciousofit，manyofhisexcellencesfromtheoldSea-kingsandSaxonPiratesthemselves；andhowmanyBlakesandNelsonssincehavecontributedtoBen！“Thingsarenotsofalsealwaysastheyseem，“saidacertainProfessortomeonce：“ofthisyouwillfindinstancesineverycountry，andinyourEnglandmorethanany——andIhopewilldrawlessonsfromthem。
　　AnEnglishSeventy-four，ifyoulookmerelyatthearticulatelawandmethodsofit，isoneoftheimpossiblestentities。Thecaptainisappointednotbypreeminentmeritinsailorship，butbyparliamentaryconnection；themen[thiswasspokensomeyearsago]aregotbyimpressment；apress-ganggoesout，knocksmendown。onthestreetsofsea-towns，anddragsthemonboard，——iftheshipweretobestranded，Ihaveheardtheywouldnearlyallrunashoreanddesert。CananythingbemoreunreasonablethanaSeventy-four？Articulatelyalmostnothing。Butithasinarticulatetraditions，ancientmethodsandhabitudesinit，stoicisms，noblenesses，_true_rulesbothofsailingandofconduct；enoughtokeepitafloatonNature’sveridicalbosom，afterall。See；ifyoubiditsailtotheendoftheworld，itwillliftanchor，go，andarrive。Theragingoceansdonotbeatitback；ittoo，aswellastheragingoceans，hasarelationshiptoNature，anditdoesnotsink，butunderthedueconditionsisbornealong。Ifitmeetwithhurricanes，itridesthemout；ifitmeetanEnemy’sship，itshiversittopowder；andinshort，itholdsonitsway，andtoawonderfulextent_does_whatitmeansandpretendstodo。Assureyourself，myfriend，thereisanimmensefundoftruthsomewhereorotherstowedinthatSeventy-four。“
　　MoreimportantthanthepasthistoryoftheseOfficesinDowningStreet，isthequestionoftheirfuturehistory；thequestion，Howtheyaretobegotmended！Trulyanimmenseproblem，inclusiveofallotherswhatsoever；whichdemandstobeattacked，andincessantlypersistedin，byallgoodcitizens，asthegrandproblemofSociety，andtheonethingneedfulfortheCommonwealth！Aprobleminwhichallmen，withalltheirwisdomsandalltheirvirtues，faithfullyandcontinuallyco-operatingatit，willneverhavedone_enough_，andwillstillonlybestruggling_towards_perfectioninit。Inwhichsomemencandomuch；——inwhicheverymancandosomething。Everyman，andthoumypresentReadercanstdothis：_Be_thyselfamanablertobegoverned；morereverencingthedivinefacultyofgoverning，moresacredlydetestingthediabolicalsemblanceofsaidfacultyinselfandothers；soshaltthou，ifnotgovern，yetactuallyaccordingtothystrengthassistinrealgoverning。Andknowalways，andevenlaytoheartwithaquiteunusualsolemnity，withaseriousnessaltogetherofareligiousnature，thatas“HumanStupidity“isverilytheaccursedparentofallthismischief，soHumanIntelligencealone，towhichandtowhichonlyisvictoryandblessednessappointedherebelow，willorcancureit。Ifweknewthisasdevoutlyasweoughttodo，theevil，andallotherevilswerecurable；——alas，ifwehadfromofoldknownthis，asallmenmadeinGod’simageoughttodo，theevilneverwouldhavebeen！PerhapsfewNationshaveeverknownitlessthanwe，foragoodwhileback，havedone。Hencethesesorrows。
　　WhataPeoplearethepoorThibetidolaters，comparedwithusandour“religions，“whichissueintheworshipofKingHudsonasourDalai-Lama！They，acrosssuchhullsofabjectignorance，haveseenintotheheartofthematter；we，withourtorchesofknowledgeeverywherebrandishingthemselves，andsuchahumanenlightenmentasneverwasbefore，havequitemissedit。
　　ReverenceforHumanWorth，earnestdevoutsearchforitandencouragementofit，loyalfurtheranceandobediencetoit：
　　this，Isay，istheoutcomeandessenceofalltrue“religions，“
　　andwasandeverwillbe。Wehavenotknownthis。No；loudasourtonguessometimesgointhatdirection，wehavenotruereverenceforHumanIntelligence，forHumanWorthandWisdom：
　　none，ortoolittle，——andIprayforarestorationofsuchreverence，asforthechangefromStygiandarknesstoHeavenlylight，asforthereturnoflifetopoorsickmoribundSocietyandallitsinterests。HumanIntelligencemeanslittleformostofusbutBeaverContrivance，whichproducesspinning-mules，cheapcotton，andlargefortunes。Wisdom，unlessitgiveusrailwayscrip，isnotwise。
　　TrueneverthelessitforeverremainsthatIntellectistherealobjectofreverence，andofdevoutprayer，andzealouswishandpursuit，amongthesonsofmen；andeven，wellunderstood，theoneobject。ItistheInspirationoftheAlmightythatgivethmenunderstanding。Foritmustberepeated，andeveragainrepeatedtillpoormortalsgettodiscernit，andawakefromtheirbalefulparalysis，anddegradationunderfoulenchantments，ThatamanofIntellect，ofrealandnotshamIntellect，isbythenatureofhimlikewiseinevitablyamanofnobleness，amanofcourage，rectitude，piousstrength；who，even_because_heisandhasbeenloyaltotheLawsofthisUniverse，isinitiatedinto_discernment_ofthesame；tothishouraMissionedofHeaven；whomifmenfollow，itwillbewellwiththem；whomifmendonotfollow，itwillnotbewell。HumanIntellect，ifyouconsideritwell，istheexactsummaryofHuman_Worth_；andtheessenceofallworth-shipsandworshipsisreverenceforthatsame。Thismuchsurprisesyou，friendPeter；butIassureyouitisthefact；——andIwouldadviseyoutoconsiderit，andtotryifyoutoodonotgraduallyfinditso。Withmeithaslongbeenanarticle，notof“faith“only，butofsettledinsight，ofconvictionastowhattheordainmentsoftheMakerinthisUniverseare。Ah，couldyouandtherestofusbutgettoknowit，andeverywherereligiouslyactuponit，——asour_Fortieth_
　　Article，whichincludesalltheotherThirty-nine，andwithoutwhichtheThirty-ninearegoodforalmostnothing，——theremightthenbesomehopeforus！Inthisworldthereisbutoneappallingcreature：theStupidman_considered_tobetheMissionedofHeaven，andfollowedbymen。HeisourKing，mensay，he；——andtheyfollowhim，throughstraightorwindingcourses，Iforoneknowwellwhitherward。