OftheForeignOffice，initsreformedstate，wehavenotmuchtosay。Abolitionofimaginarywork，andreplacementofitbyreal，isonallhandsunderstoodtobeveryurgentthere。Largeneedlessexpendituresofmoney，immeasurabledittoofhypocrisyandgrimace；embassies，protocols，worldsofextincttraditions，emptypedantries，foulcobwebs：——butwewillbynomeansapplythe“livecoal“ofourwittyfriend；theForeignOfficewillrepent，andnotbedriventosuicide！AtruertimewillcomefortheContinentalNationstoo：Authoritiesbasedontruth，andonthesilentorspokenWorshipofHumanNobleness，willagaingetthemselvesestablishedthere；allSham-Authorities，andconsequentReal-AnarchiesbasedonuniversalsuffrageandtheGospelaccordingtoGeorgeSand，beingputaway；andnobleaction，heroicnew-developmentsofhumanfacultyandindustry，andblessedfruitasofParadisegettingitselfconqueredfromthewastebattle-fieldofthechaoticelements，willoncemore，thereashere，begintoshowthemselves。
　　WhentheContinentalNationshaveoncegottothebottomof_their_AugeanStable，andbeguntohaverealenterprisesbasedontheeternalfactsagain，ourForeignOfficemayagainhaveextensiveconcernswiththem。Andatalltimes，andevennow，therewillremainthequestiontobesincerelyputandwiselyanswered，Whatessentialconcern_has_theBritishNationwiththemandtheirenterprises？Anyconcernatall，exceptthatofhandsomelykeepingapartfromthem？Ifso，whatarethemethodsofbestmanagingit？——Atpresent，aswassaid，whileRedRepublicbutclasheswithfoulBureaucracy；andNations，sunkinblindignavia，demandauniversal-suffrageParliamenttohealtheirwretchedness；andwildAnarchyandPhallus-WorshipstrugglewithSham-KingshipandextinctorgalvanizedCatholicism；andintheCaveoftheWindsallmannerofrottenwaifsandwrecksarehurledagainsteachother，——ourEnglishinterestinthecontroversy，howeverhugesaidcontroversygrow，isquitetrifling；wehaveonlyinahandsomemannertosaytoit：
　　“Tumbleandragealong，yerottenwaifsandwrecks；clashandcollideasseemsfittesttoyou；andsmiteeachotherintoannihilationatyourowngoodpleasure。Inthathugeconflict，dismalbutunavoidable，we，thankstoourheroicancestors，havinggotsofaraheadofyou，havenownointerestatall。Ourdecidednotionis，thedeadoughttoburytheirdeadinsuchacase：andsowehavethehonortobe，withdistinguishedconsideration，yourentirelydevoted，——FLIMNAP，SEC。FOREIGN
　　DEPARTMENT。“——IreallythinkFlimnap，tilltruertimescome，oughttotreatmuchofhisworkinthisway：cautioustogiveoffencetohisneighbors；resolutenottoconcernhimselfinanyoftheirself-annihilatingoperationswhatsoever。
　　Foreignwarsaresometimesunavoidable。Weourselves，inthecourseofnaturalmerchandisingandlaudablebusiness，havenowandthengotintoambiguoussituations；intoquarrelswhichneededtobesettled，andwithoutfightingwouldnotsettle。
　　SugarIslands，SpiceIslands，Indias，Canadas，these，bytherealdecreeofHeaven，wereours；andnobodywouldorcouldbelieveit，tillitwastriedbycannonlaw，andsoproved。Suchcaseshappen。Informertimesespecially，owingverymuchtowantofintercourseandtotheconsequentmutualignorance，theredidoccurmisunderstandings：andtherefrommanyforeignwars，someofthembynomeansunnecessary。WithChina，orsomedistantcountry，toounintelligentofusandtoounintelligibletous，therestillsometimesrisesnecessaryoccasionforawar。
　　Neverthelesswars——misunderstandingsthatgettothelengthofarguingthemselvesoutbyswordandcannon——have，intheselategenerationsofimprovedintercourse，beenpalpablybecominglessandlessnecessary；haveinamannerbecomesuperfluous，ifwehadalittlewisdom，andourForeignOfficeonagoodfooting。
　　OfEuropeanwarsIreallyhardlyrememberany，sinceOliverCromwell’slastProtestantorLiberationwarwithPopishantichristianSpainsometwohundredyearsago，towhichIformyownpartcouldhavecontributedmylifewithanyheartiness，orinfactwouldhavesubscribedmoneyitselftoanyconsiderableamount。DutchWilliam，amanofsomeheroism，didindeedgetintotroubleswithLouisFourteenth；andthererestedstillsomeshadowofProtestantInterest，andquestionofNationalandindividualIndependence，overthosewidecontroversies；alittlemoneyandhumanenthusiasmwasstillduetoDutchWilliam。
　　IllustriousChathamalso，nottospeakofhisManillaransomsandthelike，didonething：assistedFritzofPrussia，abravemanandkingalmosttheonlysovereignKingIhaveknownsinceCromwell’stimeliketobebornedownbyignoblemenandsham-kings；forthisletillustriousChathamtoohavealittlemoneyandhumanenthusiasm，——alittle，bynomeansmuch。ButwhatamItosayofheaven-bornPittthesonofChatham？Englandsentforthherfleetsandarmies；hermoneyintoeverycountry；
　　moneyasiftheheaven-bornChancellorhadgotaFortunatus’
　　purse；asifthisIslandhadbecomeavolcanicfountainofgold，ornewterrestrialsuncapableofradiatingmereguineas。Theresultofallwhich，whatwasit？Elderlymencanrememberthetar-barrelsburntforsuccessandthrice-immortalvictoryinthebusiness；andyetwhatresulthadwe？TheFrenchRevolution，aFactdecreedintheEternalCouncils，couldnotbeputdown：theresultwas，thatheaven-bornPitthadactuallybeenfightingastheoldHebrewswouldhavesaidagainsttheLord，——thattheLawsofNaturewerestrongerthanPitt。Ofwhomthereforethereremainschieflyhisunaccountableradiationofguineas，forthegratitudeofposterity。Thankyoufornothing，——foreighthundredmillions_less_thannothing！
　　OurWarOffices，Admiralties，andotherFightingEstablishments，areforcingthemselvesoneverybody’sattentionatthistime。
　　Bullgrumblesaudibly：“Themoneyyouhavecostmethesefive-and-thirtyyears，duringwhichyouhavestoodelaboratelyreadytofightatanymoment，withoutatanymomentbeingcalledtofight，issurelyanastonishingsum。TheNationalDebtitselfmighthavebeenhalfpaidbythatmoney，whichhasallgoneinpipe-clayandblankcartridges！“Yes，Mr。Bull，themoneycanbecountedinhundredsofmillions；whichcertainlyissomething：——butthe“strenuouslyorganizedidleness，“andwhatmischiefthatamountsto，——haveyoucomputedit？Aperpetualsolecism，andblasphemyofitssort，settomarchopenlyamongus，dressedinscarlet！Bull，withamoreandmoresulkytone，demandsthatsuchsolecismbeabated；thattheseFightingEstablishmentsbeasitweredisbanded，andsettodosomeworkintheCreation，sincefightingthereisnownoneforthem。Thisdemandisirrefragablyjust，isgrowingurgenttoo；andyetthisdemandcannotbecompliedwith，——notyetwhiletheStategroundsitselfonunrealities，andDowningStreetcontinueswhatitis。
　　TheoldRomansmadetheirsoldiersworkduringintervalsofwar。
　　TheNewDowningStreettoo，wemaypredict，willhavelessandlesstoleranceforidlenessonthepartofsoldiersorothers。
　　NaytheNewDowningStreet，Iforesee，whenonceithasgotits“_Industrial_Regiments“organized，willmakethesemainlydoitsfighting，whatfightingthereis；andsosaveimmensesums。Orindeed，allcitizensoftheCommonwealth，asistherightandtheinterestofeveryfreemaninthisworld，willhavethemselvestrainedtoarms；eachcitizenreadytodefendhiscountrywithhisownbodyandsoul，——heisnotworthytohaveacountryotherwise。InaStategroundedonveracities，thatwouldbetherule。DowningStreet，ifitcannotbethinkitselfofreturningtotheveracities，willhavetovanishaltogether！
　　Tofightwithitsneighborsneverwas，andisnowlessthanever，therealtradeofEngland。ForfarotherobjectswastheEnglishPeoplecreatedintothisworld；sentdownfromtheEternities，tomarkwithitshistorycertainspacesinthecurrentofsublunaryTime！Essential，too，thattheEnglishPeopleshoulddiscoverwhatitsrealobjectsare；andresolutelyfollowthese，resolutelyrefusingtofollowotherthanthese。TheStatewillhavevictorysofarasitcandothat；sofarasitcannot，defeat。
　　IntheNewDowningStreet，discerningwhatitsrealfunctionsare，andwithsacredabhorrenceputtingawayfromitwhatitsfunctionsarenot，wecanfancychangesenoughinForeignOffice，WarOffice，ColonialOffice，HomeOffice！OurWar-soldiers_Industrial_，firstofall；doingnoblerthanRomanworks，whenfightingisnotwantedofthem。Seventy-foursnothangingidlybytheiranchorsintheTagus，oroffSapienzaoneofthesaddestsightsunderthesun，butbusy，everySeventy-fourofthem，carryingoverstreamsofBritishIndustrialstotheimmeasurableBritainthatliesbeyondtheseaineveryzoneoftheworld。AStategroundingitselfontheveracities，notonthesemblancesandtheinjustices：everycitizenasoldierforit。Herewouldbenew_real_SecretaryshipsandMinistries，notforforeignwaranddiplomacy，butfordomesticpeaceandutility。MinisterofWorks；MinisterofJustice，——clearinghisModelPrisonsoftheirscoundrelism；shippinghisscoundrelswhollyabroad，underhardandjustdrill-sergeantshundredsofsuchstandwistfullyreadyforyou，thesethirtyyears，intheRag-and-FamishClubandelsewhere！intofertiledesertcountries；tomakerailways，——onebigrailwaysaystheMajor[Footnote：MajorCarmichaelSmith；seehisPamphletsonthissubject]quiteacrossAmerica；fittoemployalltheable-bodiedScoundrelsandefficientHalf-payOfficersinNature！
　　Lastly，——orratherfirstly，andasthepreliminaryofall，wouldtherenotbeaMinisterofEducation？MinisterchargedtogetthisEnglishPeopletaughtalittle，athisandourperil！
　　MinisterofEducation；nolongerdolefullyembayedamidthewreckofmoribund“religions，“butclearaheadofallthat；steering，freeandpiouslyfearless，towardshisdivinegoalundertheeternalstars！——Oheaven，andarethesethingsforeverimpossible，then？Notawhit。To-morrowmorningtheymightallbegintobe，andgoonthroughblessedcenturiesrealizingthemselves，ifitwerenotthat——alas，ifitwerenotthatwearemostofusinsincerepersons，shamtalking-machinesandhollowwindyfools！Whichitisnot“impossible“thatweshouldceasetobe，Ihope？
　　ConstitutionsfortheColoniesarenowontheanvil；thediscontentedColoniesarealltobecuredoftheirmiseriesbyConstitutions。Whetherthatwillcuretheirmiseries，oronlyoperateasaGodfrey’s-cordialtostoptheirwhimpering，andintheendworsenalltheirmiseries，maybeasaddoubttous。OnethingstrikesaremotespectatorintheseColonialquestions：
　　thesingularplaciditywithwhichtheBritishStatesmanatthistime，backedbyM’CroudyandtheBritishmoneyedclasses，ispreparedtosurrenderwhatsoeverinterestBritain，asfoundressofthoseestablishments，mightpretendtohaveinthedecision。
　　“Ifyouwanttogofromus，go；webynomeanswantyoutostay：
　　youcostusmoneyyearly，whichisscarce；desperatequantitiesoftroubletoo：whynotgo，ifyouwishit？“SuchisthehumoroftheBritishStatesman，atthistime——Menclearforrebellion，“annexation“astheycallit，walkopenlyabroadinourAmericanColonies；foundnewspapers，holdplatformpalaverings。FromCanadatherecomesdulybyeachmailaregularstatisticofAnnexationism：increasingfastinthisquarter，diminishinginthat；——Majesty’sChiefGovernorseemingtotakeitasaperfectlyopenquestion；Majesty’sChiefGovernorinfactseldomappearingonthesceneatall，excepttoreceivetheimpactofafewrotteneggsonoccasion，andthenduckinagaintohisprivatecontemplations。AndyetonewouldthinktheMajesty’sChiefGovernoroughttohaveakindofinterestinthething？PubliclibertyiscarriedtoagreatlengthinsomeportionsofherMajesty’sdominions。Butthequestion，“ArewetocontinuesubjectsofherMajesty，orstartrebellingagainsther？Somanyasareforrebelling，holdupyourhands！“HereisapublicdiscussionofaveryextraordinarynaturetobegoingonunderthenoseofaGovernorofCanada。HowtheGovernorofCanada，beingaBritishpieceoffleshandblood，andnotaCanadianlumber-logofmerepineandrosin，canstandit，isnotveryconceivableatfirstview。Hedoesit，seemingly，withthestoicismofaZeno。Itisaconstitutionalsightlikefew。
　　AndyetaninstinctdeeperthantheGospelofM’CroudyteachesallmenthatColoniesareworthsomethingtoacountry！Thatif，underthepresentColonialOffice，theyareavexationtousandthemselves，someotherColonialOfficecanandmustbecontrivedwhichshallrenderthemablessing；andthattheremedywillbetocontrivesuchaColonialOfficeormethodofadministration，andbynomeanstocuttheColoniesloose。Coloniesarenottobepickedoffthestreeteveryday；notaColonyofthembuthasbeenboughtdear，wellpurchasedbythetoilandbloodofthosewehavethehonortobesonsof；andwecannotjustaffordtocutthemawaybecauseM’Croudyfindsthepresentmanagementofthemcostmoney。Thepresentmanagementwillindeedrequiretobecutaway；——butasfortheColonies，wepurposethroughHeaven’sblessingtoretainthemawhileyet！Shameonusforunworthysonsofbravefathersifwedonot。Bravefathers，byvaliantbloodandsweat，purchasedforus，fromthebountyofHeaven，richpossessionsinallzones；andwe，wretchedimbeciles，cannotdothefunctionofadministeringthem？Andbecausetheaccountsdonotstandwellintheledger，ourremedyis，nottotakeshametoourselves，andrepentinsackclothandashes，andamendourbeggarlyimbecilitiesandinsinceritiesinthatasinotherdepartmentsofourbusiness，buttoflingthebusinessoverboard，anddeclarethebusinessitselftobebad？Weareahopefulsetofheirstoabigfortune！ItdoesnotsuitourMantongunneries，grouseshootings，mousingsintheCity；andlikespiritedyounggentlemenwewillgiveitup，andlettheattorneystakeit？