Then,standingbeforehimwithsuchanairofpatiententreatythathecouldnotchoosebutlookather,shesaid:
"Ifyoushouldwantme,Iwillcomebackwillingly。Whenyoudidwantme,Iwasquitehappytocome;therewasnomeritinit。I
thinkyoumustbeafraid,that,nowyouaregettingwell,Imaybetroublesometoyou;butIshouldnothavebeen,indeed。Ishouldhavecomenolongerthanyourweaknessandconfinementlasted。Youowemenothing;butitisrightthatyoushoulddealasjustlybymeasifIwasalady—eventheveryladythatyoulove;andifyoususpectmeofmeanlymakingmuchofthelittleIhavetriedtodotocomfortyoursickroom,youdoyourselfmorewrongthaneveryoucandome。ThatiswhyIamsorry。ThatiswhyIamverysorry。"
Ifshehadbeenaspassionateasshewasquiet,asindignantasshewascalm,asangryinherlookasshewasgentle,asloudoftoneasshewaslowandclear,shemighthaveleftnosenseofherdepartureintheroom,comparedwiththatwhichfelluponthelonelystudentwhenshewentaway。
Hewasgazingdrearilyupontheplacewhereshehadbeen,whenRedlawcameoutofhisconcealment,andcametothedoor。
"Whensicknesslaysitshandonyouagain,"hesaid,lookingfiercelybackathim,"—mayitbesoon!—Diehere!Rothere!"
"Whathaveyoudone?"returnedtheother,catchingathiscloak。
"Whatchangehaveyouwroughtinme?Whatcursehaveyoubroughtuponme?GivemebackMYself!"
"Givemebackmyself!"exclaimedRedlawlikeamadman。"Iaminfected!Iaminfectious!Iamchargedwithpoisonformyownmind,andthemindsofallmankind。WhereIfeltinterest,compassion,sympathy,Iamturningintostone。Selfishnessandingratitudespringupinmyblightingfootsteps。IamonlysomuchlessbasethanthewretcheswhomImakeso,thatinthemomentoftheirtransformationIcanhatethem。"
Ashespoke—theyoungmanstillholdingtohiscloak—hecasthimoff,andstruckhim:then,wildlyhurriedoutintothenightairwherethewindwasblowing,thesnowfalling,thecloud—driftsweepingon,themoondimlyshining;andwhere,blowinginthewind,fallingwiththesnow,driftingwiththeclouds,shininginthemoonlight,andheavilyloominginthedarkness,werethePhantom’swords,"ThegiftthatIhavegiven,youshallgiveagain,gowhereyouwill!"
Whitherhewent,heneitherknewnorcared,sothatheavoidedcompany。Thechangehefeltwithinhimmadethebusystreetsadesert,andhimselfadesert,andthemultitudearoundhim,intheirmanifoldendurancesandwaysoflife,amightywasteofsand,whichthewindstossedintounintelligibleheapsandmadearuinousconfusionof。ThosetracesinhisbreastwhichthePhantomhadtoldhimwould"dieoutsoon,"werenot,asyet,sofarupontheirwaytodeath,butthatheunderstoodenoughofwhathewas,andwhathemadeofothers,todesiretobealone。
Thisputitinhismind—hesuddenlybethoughthimself,ashewasgoingalong,oftheboywhohadrushedintohisroom。Andthenherecollected,thatofthosewithwhomhehadcommunicatedsincethePhantom’sdisappearance,thatboyalonehadshownnosignofbeingchanged。
Monstrousandodiousasthewildthingwastohim,hedeterminedtoseekitout,andproveifthiswerereallyso;andalsotoseekitwithanotherintention,whichcameintohisthoughtsatthesametime。
So,resolvingwithsomedifficultywherehewas,hedirectedhisstepsbacktotheoldcollege,andtothatpartofitwherethegeneralporchwas,andwhere,alone,thepavementwaswornbythetreadofthestudents’feet。
Thekeeper’shousestoodjustwithintheirongates,formingapartofthechiefquadrangle。Therewasalittlecloisteroutside,andfromthatshelteredplaceheknewhecouldlookinatthewindowoftheirordinaryroom,andseewhowaswithin。Theirongateswereshut,buthishandwasfamiliarwiththefastening,anddrawingitbackbythrustinginhiswristbetweenthebars,hepassedthroughsoftly,shutitagain,andcreptuptothewindow,crumblingthethincrustofsnowwithhisfeet。
Thefire,towhichhehaddirectedtheboylastnight,shiningbrightlythroughtheglass,madeanilluminatedplaceupontheground。Instinctivelyavoidingthis,andgoingroundit,helookedinatthewindow。Atfirst,hethoughtthattherewasnoonethere,andthattheblazewasreddeningonlytheoldbeamsintheceilingandthedarkwalls;butpeeringinmorenarrowly,hesawtheobjectofhissearchcoiledasleepbeforeitonthefloor。Hepassedquicklytothedoor,openedit,andwentin。
Thecreaturelayinsuchafieryheat,that,astheChemiststoopedtorousehim,itscorchedhishead。Sosoonashewastouched,theboy,nothalfawake,clutchinghisragstogetherwiththeinstinctofflightuponhim,halfrolledandhalfranintoadistantcorneroftheroom,where,heapedupontheground,hestruckhisfootouttodefendhimself。
"Getup!"saidtheChemist。"Youhavenotforgottenme?"
"Youletmealone!"returnedtheboy。"Thisisthewoman’shouse—
notyours。"
TheChemist’ssteadyeyecontrolledhimsomewhat,orinspiredhimwithenoughsubmissiontoberaiseduponhisfeet,andlookedat。
"Whowashedthem,andputthosebandageswheretheywerebruisedandcracked?"askedtheChemist,pointingtotheiralteredstate。
"Thewomandid。"
"Andisitshewhohasmadeyoucleanerintheface,too?"
"Yes,thewoman。"
Redlawaskedthesequestionstoattracthiseyestowardshimself,andwiththesameintentnowheldhimbythechin,andthrewhiswildhairback,thoughheloathedtotouchhim。Theboywatchedhiseyeskeenly,asifhethoughtitneedfultohisowndefence,notknowingwhathemightdonext;andRedlawcouldseewellthatnochangecameoverhim。
"Wherearethey?"heinquired。
"Thewoman’sout。"
"Iknowsheis。Whereistheoldmanwiththewhitehair,andhisson?"
"Thewoman’shusband,d’yemean?"inquiredtheboy。
"Ay。Wherearethosetwo?"
"Out。Something’sthematter,somewhere。Theywerefetchedoutinahurry,andtoldmetostophere。"
"Comewithme,"saidtheChemist,"andI’llgiveyoumoney。"
"Comewhere?andhowmuchwillyougive?"
"I’llgiveyoumoreshillingsthanyoueversaw,andbringyoubacksoon。Doyouknowyourwaytowhereyoucamefrom?"
"Youletmego,"returnedtheboy,suddenlytwistingoutofhisgrasp。"I’mnotagoingtotakeyouthere。Letmebe,orI’llheavesomefireatyou!"
Hewasdownbeforeit,andready,withhissavagelittlehand,toplucktheburningcoalsout。
WhattheChemisthadfelt,inobservingtheeffectofhischarmedinfluencestealingoverthosewithwhomhecameincontact,wasnotnearlyequaltothecoldvagueterrorwithwhichhesawthisbaby—
monsterputitatdefiance。Itchilledhisbloodtolookontheimmovableimpenetrablething,inthelikenessofachild,withitssharpmalignantfaceturneduptohis,anditsalmostinfanthand,readyatthebars。
"Listen,boy!"hesaid。"Youshalltakemewhereyouplease,sothatyoutakemewherethepeopleareverymiserableorverywicked。Iwanttodothemgood,andnottoharmthem。Youshallhavemoney,asIhavetoldyou,andIwillbringyouback。Getup!
Comequickly!"Hemadeahastysteptowardsthedoor,afraidofherreturning。
"Willyouletmewalkbymyself,andneverholdme,noryettouchme?"saidtheboy,slowlywithdrawingthehandwithwhichhethreatened,andbeginningtogetup。
"Iwill!"
"Andletmego,before,behind,oranywaysIlike?"
"Iwill!"
"Givemesomemoneyfirst,then,andgo。"
TheChemistlaidafewshillings,onebyone,inhisextendedhand。
Tocountthemwasbeyondtheboy’sknowledge,buthesaid"one,"
everytime,andavariciouslylookedateachasitwasgiven,andatthedonor。Hehadnowheretoputthem,outofhishand,butinhismouth;andheputthemthere。
Redlawthenwrotewithhispencilonaleafofhispocket—book,thattheboywaswithhim;andlayingitonthetable,signedtohimtofollow。Keepinghisragstogether,asusual,theboycomplied,andwentoutwithhisbareheadandnakedfeetintothewinternight。
Preferringnottodepartbytheirongatebywhichhehadentered,wheretheywereindangerofmeetingherwhomhesoanxiouslyavoided,theChemistledtheway,throughsomeofthosepassagesamongwhichtheboyhadlosthimself,andbythatportionofthebuildingwherehelived,toasmalldoorofwhichhehadthekey。
Whentheygotintothestreet,hestoppedtoaskhisguide—whoinstantlyretreatedfromhim—ifheknewwheretheywere。
Thesavagethinglookedhereandthere,andatlength,noddinghishead,pointedinthedirectionhedesignedtotake。Redlawgoingonatonce,hefollowed,somethinglesssuspiciously;shiftinghismoneyfromhismouthintohishand,andbackagainintohismouth,andstealthilyrubbingitbrightuponhisshredsofdress,ashewentalong。
Threetimes,intheirprogress,theyweresidebyside。Threetimestheystopped,beingsidebyside。ThreetimestheChemistglanceddownathisface,andshudderedasitforceduponhimonereflection。
Thefirstoccasionwaswhentheywerecrossinganoldchurchyard,andRedlawstoppedamongthegraves,utterlyatalosshowtoconnectthemwithanytender,softening,orconsolatorythought。
Thesecondwas,whenthebreakingforthofthemooninducedhimtolookupattheHeavens,wherehesawherinherglory,surroundedbyahostofstarshestillknewbythenamesandhistorieswhichhumansciencehasappendedtothem;butwherehesawnothingelsehehadbeenwonttosee,feltnothinghehadbeenwonttofeel,inlookingupthere,onabrightnight。
Thethirdwaswhenhestoppedtolistentoaplaintivestrainofmusic,butcouldonlyhearatune,mademanifesttohimbythedrymechanismoftheinstrumentsandhisownears,withnoaddresstoanymysterywithinhim,withoutawhisperinitofthepast,orofthefuture,powerlessuponhimasthesoundoflastyear’srunningwater,ortherushingoflastyear’swind。
Ateachofthesethreetimes,hesawwithhorrorthat,inspiteofthevastintellectualdistancebetweenthem,andtheirbeingunlikeeachotherinallphysicalrespects,theexpressionontheboy’sfacewastheexpressiononhisown。
Theyjourneyedonforsometime—nowthroughsuchcrowdedplaces,thatheoftenlookedoverhisshoulderthinkinghehadlosthisguide,butgenerallyfindinghimwithinhisshadowonhisotherside;nowbywayssoquiet,thathecouldhavecountedhisshort,quick,nakedfootstepscomingonbehind—untiltheyarrivedataruinouscollectionofhouses,andtheboytouchedhimandstopped。
"Inthere!"hesaid,pointingoutonehousewheretherewereshatteredlightsinthewindows,andadimlanterninthedoorway,with"LodgingsforTravellers"paintedonit。
Redlawlookedabouthim;fromthehousestothewastepieceofgroundonwhichthehousesstood,orratherdidnotaltogethertumbledown,unfenced,undrained,unlighted,andborderedbyasluggishditch;fromthat,totheslopinglineofarches,partofsomeneighbouringviaductorbridgewithwhichitwassurrounded,andwhichlessenedgraduallytowardsthem,untilthelastbutonewasamerekennelforadog,thelastaplunderedlittleheapofbricks;fromthat,tothechild,closetohim,coweringandtremblingwiththecold,andlimpingononelittlefoot,whilehecoiledtheotherroundhislegtowarmit,yetstaringatallthesethingswiththatfrightfullikenessofexpressionsoapparentinhisface,thatRedlawstartedfromhim。
"Inthere!"saidtheboy,pointingoutthehouseagain。"I’llwait。"
"Willtheyletmein?"askedRedlaw。
"Sayyou’readoctor,"heansweredwithanod。"There’splentyillhere。"
Lookingbackonhiswaytothehouse—door,Redlawsawhimtrailhimselfuponthedustandcrawlwithintheshelterofthesmallestarch,asifhewerearat。Hehadnopityforthething,buthewasafraidofit;andwhenitlookedoutofitsdenathim,hehurriedtothehouseasaretreat。
"Sorrow,wrong,andtrouble,"saidtheChemist,withapainfuleffortatsomemoredistinctremembrance,"atleasthauntthisplacedarkly。Hecandonoharm,whobringsforgetfulnessofsuchthingshere!"
Withthesewords,hepushedtheyieldingdoor,andwentin。
Therewasawomansittingonthestairs,eitherasleeporforlorn,whoseheadwasbentdownonherhandsandknees。Asitwasnoteasytopasswithouttreadingonher,andasshewasperfectlyregardlessofhisnearapproach,hestopped,andtouchedherontheshoulder。Lookingup,sheshowedhimquiteayoungface,butonewhosebloomandpromisewereallsweptaway,asifthehaggardwintershouldunnaturallykillthespring。
Withlittleornoshowofconcernonhisaccount,shemovednearertothewalltoleavehimawiderpassage。
"Whatareyou?"saidRedlaw,pausing,withhishanduponthebrokenstair—rail。
"WhatdoyouthinkIam?"sheanswered,showinghimherfaceagain。
HelookedupontheruinedTempleofGod,solatelymade,sosoondisfigured;andsomething,whichwasnotcompassion—forthespringsinwhichatruecompassionforsuchmiserieshasitsrise,weredriedupinhisbreast—butwhichwasnearertoit,forthemoment,thananyfeelingthathadlatelystruggledintothedarkening,butnotyetwhollydarkened,nightofhismind—mingledatouchofsoftnesswithhisnextwords。
"Iamcomeheretogiverelief,ifIcan,"hesaid。"Areyouthinkingofanywrong?"
Shefrownedathim,andthenlaughed;andthenherlaughprolongeditselfintoashiveringsigh,asshedroppedherheadagain,andhidherfingersinherhair。
"Areyouthinkingofawrong?"heaskedoncemore。
"Iamthinkingofmylife,"shesaid,withamonetarylookathim。
Hehadaperceptionthatshewasoneofmany,andthathesawthetypeofthousands,whenhesawher,droopingathisfeet。
"Whatareyourparents?"hedemanded。
"Ihadagoodhomeonce。Myfatherwasagardener,faraway,inthecountry。"
"Ishedead?"
"He’sdeadtome。Allsuchthingsaredeadtome。Youagentleman,andnotknowthat!"Sheraisedhereyesagain,andlaughedathim。
"Girl!"saidRedlaw,sternly,"beforethisdeath,ofallsuchthings,wasbroughtabout,wastherenowrongdonetoyou?Inspiteofallthatyoucando,doesnoremembranceofwrongcleavetoyou?Aretherenottimesupontimeswhenitismiserytoyou?"
Solittleofwhatwaswomanlywasleftinherappearance,thatnow,whensheburstintotears,hestoodamazed。Buthewasmoreamazed,andmuchdisquieted,tonotethatinherawakenedrecollectionofthiswrong,thefirsttraceofheroldhumanityandfrozentendernessappearedtoshowitself。
Hedrewalittleoff,andindoingso,observedthatherarmswereblack,herfacecut,andherbosombruised。
"Whatbrutalhandhashurtyouso?"heasked。
"Myown。Ididitmyself!"sheansweredquickly。
"Itisimpossible。"
"I’llswearIdid!Hedidn’ttouchme。Ididittomyselfinapassion,andthrewmyselfdownhere。Hewasn’tnearme。Heneverlaidahanduponme!"
Inthewhitedeterminationofherface,confrontinghimwiththisuntruth,hesawenoughofthelastperversionanddistortionofgoodsurvivinginthatmiserablebreast,tobestrickenwithremorsethathehadevercomenearher。
"Sorrow,wrong,andtrouble!"hemuttered,turninghisfearfulgazeaway。"Allthatconnectsherwiththestatefromwhichshehasfallen,hasthoseroots!InthenameofGod,letmegoby!"
Afraidtolookatheragain,afraidtotouchher,afraidtothinkofhavingsunderedthelastthreadbywhichshehelduponthemercyofHeaven,hegatheredhiscloakabouthim,andglidedswiftlyupthestairs。
Oppositetohim,onthelanding,wasadoor,whichstoodpartlyopen,andwhich,asheascended,amanwithacandleinhishand,cameforwardfromwithintoshut。Butthisman,onseeinghim,drewback,withmuchemotioninhismanner,and,asifbyasuddenimpulse,mentionedhisnamealoud。
Inthesurpriseofsucharecognitionthere,hestopped,endeavouringtorecollectthewanandstartledface。Hehadnotimetoconsiderit,for,tohisyetgreateramazement,oldPhilipcameoutoftheroom,andtookhimbythehand。
"Mr。Redlaw,"saidtheoldman,"thisislikeyou,thisislikeyou,sir!youhaveheardofit,andhavecomeafterustorenderanyhelpyoucan。Ah,toolate,toolate!"
Redlaw,withabewilderedlook,submittedtobeledintotheroom。
Amanlaythere,onatruckle—bed,andWilliamSwidgerstoodatthebedside。
"Toolate!"murmuredtheoldman,lookingwistfullyintotheChemist’sface;andthetearsstoledownhischeeks。
"That’swhatIsay,father,"interposedhissoninalowvoice。
"That’swhereitis,exactly。Tokeepasquietaseverwecanwhilehe’sadozing,istheonlythingtodo。You’reright,father!"
Redlawpausedatthebedside,andlookeddownonthefigurethatwasstretcheduponthemattress。Itwasthatofaman,whoshouldhavebeeninthevigourofhislife,butonwhomitwasnotlikelythesunwouldevershineagain。Thevicesofhisfortyorfiftyyears’careerhadsobrandedhim,that,incomparisonwiththeireffectsuponhisface,theheavyhandofTimeupontheoldman’sfacewhowatchedhimhadbeenmercifulandbeautifying。
"Whoisthis?"askedtheChemist,lookinground。
"MysonGeorge,Mr。Redlaw,"saidtheoldman,wringinghishands。
"Myeldestson,George,whowasmorehismother’spridethanalltherest!"
Redlaw’seyeswanderedfromtheoldman’sgreyhead,ashelaiditdownuponthebed,tothepersonwhohadrecognisedhim,andwhohadkeptaloof,intheremotestcorneroftheroom。Heseemedtobeabouthisownage;andalthoughheknewnosuchhopelessdecayandbrokenmanasheappearedtobe,therewassomethingintheturnofhisfigure,ashestoodwithhisbacktowardshim,andnowwentoutatthedoor,thatmadehimpasshishanduneasilyacrosshisbrow。
"William,"hesaidinagloomywhisper,"whoisthatman?"
"Whyyousee,sir,"returnedMr。William,"that’swhatIsay,myself。Whyshouldamanevergoandgamble,andthelikeofthat,andlethimselfdowninchbyinchtillhecan’tlethimselfdownanylower!"
"HasHEdoneso?"askedRedlaw,glancingafterhimwiththesameuneasyactionasbefore。
"Justexactlythat,sir,"returnedWilliamSwidger,"asI’mtold。
Heknowsalittleaboutmedicine,sir,itseems;andhavingbeenwayfaringtowardsLondonwithmyunhappybrotherthatyouseehere,"Mr。Williampassedhiscoat—sleeveacrosshiseyes,"andbeinglodgingupstairsforthenight—whatIsay,yousee,isthatstrangecompanionscometogetherheresometimes—helookedintoattenduponhim,andcameforusathisrequest。Whatamournfulspectacle,sir!Butthat’swhereitis。It’senoughtokillmyfather!"
Redlawlookedup,atthesewords,and,recallingwherehewasandwithwhom,andthespellhecarriedwithhim—whichhissurprisehadobscured—retiredalittle,hurriedly,debatingwithhimselfwhethertoshunthehousethatmoment,orremain。
Yieldingtoacertainsullendoggedness,whichitseemedtobeapartofhisconditiontostrugglewith,hearguedforremaining。
"Wasitonlyyesterday,"hesaid,"whenIobservedthememoryofthisoldmantobeatissueofsorrowandtrouble,andshallIbeafraid,to—night,toshakeit?AresuchremembrancesasIcandriveaway,soprecioustothisdyingmanthatIneedfearforHIM?
No!I’llstayhere。"
Buthestayedinfearandtremblingnonethelessforthesewords;
and,shroudedinhisblackcloakwithhisfaceturnedfromthem,stoodawayfromthebedside,listeningtowhattheysaid,asifhefelthimselfademonintheplace。
"Father!"murmuredthesickman,rallyingalittlefromstupor。
"Myboy!MysonGeorge!"saidoldPhilip。
"Youspoke,justnow,ofmybeingmother’sfavourite,longago。
It’sadreadfulthingtothinknow,oflongago!"
"No,no,no;"returnedtheoldman。"Thinkofit。Don’tsayit’sdreadful。It’snotdreadfultome,myson。"
"Itcutsyoutotheheart,father。"Fortheoldman’stearswerefallingonhim。
"Yes,yes,"saidPhilip,"soitdoes;butitdoesmegood。It’saheavysorrowtothinkofthattime,butitdoesmegood,George。
Oh,thinkofittoo,thinkofittoo,andyourheartwillbesoftenedmoreandmore!Where’smysonWilliam?William,myboy,yourmotherlovedhimdearlytothelast,andwithherlatestbreathsaid,’TellhimIforgavehim,blessedhim,andprayedforhim。’Thosewereherwordstome。Ihaveneverforgottenthem,andI’meighty—seven!"
"Father!"saidthemanuponthebed,"Iamdying,Iknow。Iamsofargone,thatIcanhardlyspeak,evenofwhatmymindmostrunson。Isthereanyhopeformebeyondthisbed?"
"Thereishope,"returnedtheoldman,"forallwhoaresoftenedandpenitent。Thereishopeforallsuch。Oh!"heexclaimed,claspinghishandsandlookingup,"Iwasthankful,onlyyesterday,thatIcouldrememberthisunhappysonwhenhewasaninnocentchild。Butwhatacomfortitis,now,tothinkthatevenGodhimselfhasthatremembranceofhim!"
Redlawspreadhishandsuponhisface,andshrank,likeamurderer。
"Ah!"feeblymoanedthemanuponthebed。"Thewastesincethen,thewasteoflifesincethen!"
"Buthewasachildonce,"saidtheoldman。"Heplayedwithchildren。Beforehelaydownonhisbedatnight,andfellintohisguiltlessrest,hesaidhisprayersathispoormother’sknee。
Ihaveseenhimdoit,manyatime;andseenherlayhisheaduponherbreast,andkisshim。Sorrowfulasitwastoherandme,tothinkofthis,whenhewentsowrong,andwhenourhopesandplansforhimwereallbroken,thisgavehimstillaholduponus,thatnothingelsecouldhavegiven。Oh,Father,somuchbetterthanthefathersuponearth!Oh,Father,somuchmoreafflictedbytheerrorsofThychildren!takethiswandererback!Notasheis,butashewasthen,lethimcrytoThee,ashehassooftenseemedtocrytous!"
Astheoldmanlifteduphistremblinghands,theson,forwhomhemadethesupplication,laidhissinkingheadagainsthimforsupportandcomfort,asifhewereindeedthechildofwhomhespoke。
Whendidmanevertremble,asRedlawtrembled,inthesilencethatensued!Heknewitmustcomeuponthem,knewthatitwascomingfast。
"Mytimeisveryshort,mybreathisshorter,"saidthesickman,supportinghimselfononearm,andwiththeothergropingintheair,"andIrememberthereissomethingonmymindconcerningthemanwhowasherejustnow,FatherandWilliam—wait!—istherereallyanythinginblack,outthere?"
"Yes,yes,itisreal,"saidhisagedfather。
"Isitaman?"
"WhatIsaymyself,George,"interposedhisbrother,bendingkindlyoverhim。"It’sMr。Redlaw。"
"IthoughtIhaddreamedofhim。Askhimtocomehere。"
TheChemist,whiterthanthedyingman,appearedbeforehim。
Obedienttothemotionofhishand,hesatuponthebed。
"Ithasbeensorippedup,to—night,sir,"saidthesickman,layinghishanduponhisheart,withalookinwhichthemute,imploringagonyofhisconditionwasconcentrated,"bythesightofmypooroldfather,andthethoughtofallthetroubleIhavebeenthecauseof,andallthewrongandsorrowlyingatmydoor,that—
"
Wasittheextremitytowhichhehadcome,orwasitthedawningofanotherchange,thatmadehimstop?
"—thatwhatICANdoright,withmymindrunningonsomuch,sofast,I’lltrytodo。Therewasanothermanhere。Didyouseehim?"
Redlawcouldnotreplybyanyword;forwhenhesawthatfatalsignheknewsowellnow,ofthewanderinghandupontheforehead,hisvoicediedathislips。Buthemadesomeindicationofassent。
"Heispenniless,hungry,anddestitute。Heiscompletelybeatendown,andhasnoresourceatall。Lookafterhim!Losenotime!
Iknowhehasitinhismindtokillhimself。"
Itwasworking。Itwasonhisface。Hisfacewaschanging,hardening,deepeninginallitsshades,andlosingallitssorrow。
"Don’tyouremember?Don’tyouknowhim?"hepursued。
Heshuthisfaceoutforamoment,withthehandthatagainwanderedoverhisforehead,andthenitloweredonRedlaw,reckless,ruffianly,andcallous。
"Why,d—nyou!"hesaid,scowlinground,"whathaveyoubeendoingtomehere!Ihavelivedbold,andImeantodiebold。TotheDevilwithyou!"
Andsolaydownuponhisbed,andputhisarmsup,overhisheadandears,asresolutefromthattimetokeepoutallaccess,andtodieinhisindifference。
IfRedlawhadbeenstruckbylightning,itcouldnothavestruckhimfromthebedsidewithamoretremendousshock。Buttheoldman,whohadleftthebedwhilehissonwasspeakingtohim,nowreturning,avoideditquicklylikewise,andwithabhorrence。
"Where’smyboyWilliam?"saidtheoldmanhurriedly。"William,comeawayfromhere。We’llgohome。"
"Home,father!"returnedWilliam。"Areyougoingtoleaveyourownson?"
"Where’smyownson?"repliedtheoldman。
"Where?why,there!"
"That’snosonofmine,"saidPhilip,tremblingwithresentment。
"Nosuchwretchasthat,hasanyclaimonme。Mychildrenarepleasanttolookat,andtheywaituponme,andgetmymeatanddrinkready,andareusefultome。I’vearighttoit!I’meighty—seven!"
"You’reoldenoughtobenoolder,"mutteredWilliam,lookingathimgrudgingly,withhishandsinhispockets。"Idon’tknowwhatgoodyouare,myself。Wecouldhaveadealmorepleasurewithoutyou。"
"MYson,Mr。Redlaw!"saidtheoldman。"MYson,too!TheboytalkingtomeofMYson!Why,whathasheeverdonetogivemeanypleasure,Ishouldliketoknow?"
"Idon’tknowwhatyouhaveeverdonetogiveMEanypleasure,"
saidWilliam,sulkily。
"Letmethink,"saidtheoldman。"ForhowmanyChristmastimesrunning,haveIsatinmywarmplace,andneverhadtocomeoutinthecoldnightair;andhavemadegoodcheer,withoutbeingdisturbedbyanysuchuncomfortable,wretchedsightashimthere?
Isittwenty,William?"
"Nigherforty,itseems,"hemuttered。"Why,whenIlookatmyfather,sir,andcometothinkofit,"addressingRedlaw,withanimpatienceandirritationthatwerequitenew,"I’mwhippedifI
canseeanythinginhimbutacalendarofeversomanyyearsofeatinganddrinking,andmakinghimselfcomfortable,overandoveragain。"
"I—I’meighty—seven,"saidtheoldman,ramblingon,childishlyandweakly,"andIdon’tknowasIeverwasmuchputoutbyanything。I’mnotgoingtobeginnow,becauseofwhathecallsmyson。He’snotmyson。I’vehadapowerofpleasanttimes。I
recollectonce—noIdon’t—no,it’sbrokenoff。Itwassomethingaboutagameofcricketandafriendofmine,butit’ssomehowbrokenoff。Iwonderwhohewas—IsupposeIlikedhim?
AndIwonderwhatbecameofhim—Isupposehedied?ButIdon’tknow。AndIdon’tcare,neither;Idon’tcareabit。"
Inhisdrowsychuckling,andtheshakingofhishead,heputhishandsintohiswaistcoatpockets。Inoneofthemhefoundabitofholly(leftthere,probablylastnight),whichhenowtookout,andlookedat。
"Berries,eh?"saidtheoldman。"Ah!It’sapitythey’renotgoodtoeat。Irecollect,whenIwasalittlechapaboutashighasthat,andoutawalkingwith—letmesee—whowasIoutawalkingwith?—no,Idon’trememberhowthatwas。Idon’trememberasIeverwalkedwithanyoneparticular,orcaredforanyone,oranyoneforme。Berries,eh?There’sgoodcheerwhenthere’sberries。Well;Ioughttohavemyshareofit,andtobewaitedon,andkeptwarmandcomfortable;forI’meighty—seven,andapooroldman。I’meigh—ty—seven。Eigh—ty—seven!"
Thedrivelling,pitiablemannerinwhich,asherepeatedthis,henibbledattheleaves,andspatthemorselsout;thecold,uninterestedeyewithwhichhisyoungestson(sochanged)regardedhim;thedeterminedapathywithwhichhiseldestsonlayhardenedinhissin;impressedthemselvesnomoreonRedlaw’sobservation,—
forhebrokehiswayfromthespottowhichhisfeetseemedtohavebeenfixed,andranoutofthehouse。
Hisguidecamecrawlingforthfromhisplaceofrefuge,andwasreadyforhimbeforehereachedthearches。
"Backtothewoman’s?"heinquired。
"Back,quickly!"answeredRedlaw。"Stopnowhereontheway!"
Forashortdistancetheboywentonbefore;buttheirreturnwasmorelikeaflightthanawalk,anditwasasmuchashisbarefeetcoulddo,tokeeppacewiththeChemist’srapidstrides。Shrinkingfromallwhopassed,shroudedinhiscloak,andkeepingitdrawncloselyabouthim,asthoughthereweremortalcontagioninanyflutteringtouchofhisgarments,hemadenopauseuntiltheyreachedthedoorbywhichtheyhadcomeout。Heunlockeditwithhiskey,wentin,accompaniedbytheboy,andhastenedthroughthedarkpassagestohisownchamber。
Theboywatchedhimashemadethedoorfast,andwithdrewbehindthetable,whenhelookedround。
"Come!"hesaid。"Don’tyoutouchme!You’venotbroughtmeheretotakemymoneyaway。"
Redlawthrewsomemoreupontheground。Heflunghisbodyonitimmediately,asiftohideitfromhim,lestthesightofitshouldtempthimtoreclaimit;andnotuntilhesawhimseatedbyhislamp,withhisfacehiddeninhishands,beganfurtivelytopickitup。Whenhehaddoneso,hecreptnearthefire,and,sittingdowninagreatchairbeforeit,tookfromhisbreastsomebrokenscrapsoffood,andfelltomunching,andtostaringattheblaze,andnowandthentoglancingathisshillings,whichhekeptclenchedupinabunch,inonehand。
"Andthis,"saidRedlaw,gazingonhimwithincreasedrepugnanceandfear,"istheonlyonecompanionIhaveleftonearth!"
Howlongitwasbeforehewasarousedfromhiscontemplationofthiscreature,whomhedreadedso—whetherhalf—an—hour,orhalfthenight—heknewnot。Butthestillnessoftheroomwasbrokenbytheboy(whomhehadseenlistening)startingup,andrunningtowardsthedoor。
"Here’sthewomancoming!"heexclaimed。
TheChemiststoppedhimonhisway,atthemomentwhensheknocked。
"Letmegotoher,willyou?"saidtheboy。
"Notnow,"returnedtheChemist。"Stayhere。Nobodymustpassinoroutoftheroomnow。Who’sthat?"
"It’sI,sir,"criedMilly。"Pray,sir,letmein!"
"No!notfortheworld!"hesaid。
"Mr。Redlaw,Mr。Redlaw,pray,sir,letmein。"
"Whatisthematter?"hesaid,holdingtheboy。
"Themiserablemanyousaw,isworse,andnothingIcansaywillwakehimfromhisterribleinfatuation。William’sfatherhasturnedchildishinamoment,Williamhimselfischanged。Theshockhasbeentoosuddenforhim;Icannotunderstandhim;heisnotlikehimself。Oh,Mr。Redlaw,prayadviseme,helpme!"
"No!No!No!"heanswered。
"Mr。Redlaw!Dearsir!Georgehasbeenmuttering,inhisdoze,aboutthemanyousawthere,who,hefears,willkillhimself。"
"Betterheshoulddoit,thancomenearme!"
"Hesays,inhiswandering,thatyouknowhim;thathewasyourfriendonce,longago;thatheistheruinedfatherofastudenthere—mymindmisgivesme,oftheyounggentlemanwhohasbeenill。Whatistobedone?Howishetobefollowed?Howishetobesaved?Mr。Redlaw,pray,oh,pray,adviseme!Helpme!"
Allthistimeheheldtheboy,whowashalf—madtopasshim,andletherin。
"Phantoms!Punishersofimpiousthoughts!"criedRedlaw,gazingroundinanguish,"lookuponme!Fromthedarknessofmymind,lettheglimmeringofcontritionthatIknowisthere,shineupandshowmymisery!InthematerialworldasIhavelongtaught,nothingcanbespared;nosteporatominthewondrousstructurecouldbelost,withoutablankbeingmadeinthegreatuniverse。I
know,now,thatitisthesamewithgoodandevil,happinessandsorrow,inthememoriesofmen。Pityme!Relieveme!"
Therewasnoresponse,buther"Helpme,helpme,letmein!"andtheboy’sstrugglingtogettoher。
"Shadowofmyself!Spiritofmydarkerhours!"criedRedlaw,indistraction,"comeback,andhauntmedayandnight,buttakethisgiftaway!Or,ifitmuststillrestwithme,deprivemeofthedreadfulpowerofgivingittoothers。UndowhatIhavedone。
Leavemebenighted,butrestorethedaytothosewhomIhavecursed。AsIhavesparedthiswomanfromthefirst,andasIneverwillgoforthagain,butwilldiehere,withnohandtotendme,savethiscreature’swhoisproofagainstme,—hearme!"
Theonlyreplystillwas,theboystrugglingtogettoher,whileheheldhimback;andthecry,increasinginitsenergy,"Help!letmein。Hewasyourfriendonce,howshallhebefollowed,howshallhebesaved?Theyareallchanged,thereisnooneelsetohelpme,pray,pray,letmein!"
CHAPTERIII—TheGiftReversedNIGHTwasstillheavyinthesky。Onopenplains,fromhill—tops,andfromthedecksofsolitaryshipsatsea,adistantlow—lyingline,thatpromisedby—and—bytochangetolight,wasvisibleinthedimhorizon;butitspromisewasremoteanddoubtful,andthemoonwasstrivingwiththenight—cloudsbusily。
TheshadowsuponRedlaw’smindsucceededthickandfasttooneanother,andobscureditslightasthenight—cloudshoveredbetweenthemoonandearth,andkeptthelatterveiledindarkness。Fitfulanduncertainastheshadowswhichthenight—cloudscast,weretheirconcealmentsfromhim,andimperfectrevelationstohim;and,likethenight—cloudsstill,iftheclearlightbrokeforthforamoment,itwasonlythattheymightsweepoverit,andmakethedarknessdeeperthanbefore。
Without,therewasaprofoundandsolemnhushupontheancientpileofbuilding,anditsbuttressesandanglesmadedarkshapesofmysteryupontheground,whichnowseemedtoretireintothesmoothwhitesnowandnowseemedtocomeoutofit,asthemoon’spathwasmoreorlessbeset。Within,theChemist’sroomwasindistinctandmurky,bythelightoftheexpiringlamp;aghostlysilencehadsucceededtotheknockingandthevoiceoutside;nothingwasaudiblebut,nowandthen,alowsoundamongthewhitenedashesofthefire,asofitsyieldingupitslastbreath。Beforeitonthegroundtheboylayfastasleep。Inhischair,theChemistsat,ashehadsattheresincethecallingathisdoorhadceased—likeamanturnedtostone。
Atsuchatime,theChristmasmusichehadheardbefore,begantoplay。Helistenedtoitatfirst,ashehadlistenedinthechurch—yard;butpresently—itplayingstill,andbeingbornetowardshimonthenightair,inalow,sweet,melancholystrain—
herose,andstoodstretchinghishandsabouthim,asifthereweresomefriendapproachingwithinhisreach,onwhomhisdesolatetouchmightrest,yetdonoharm。Ashedidthis,hisfacebecamelessfixedandwondering;agentletremblingcameuponhim;andatlasthiseyesfilledwithtears,andheputhishandsbeforethem,andboweddownhishead。
Hismemoryofsorrow,wrong,andtrouble,hadnotcomebacktohim;
heknewthatitwasnotrestored;hehadnopassingbelieforhopethatitwas。Butsomedumbstirwithinhimmadehimcapable,again,ofbeingmovedbywhatwashidden,afaroff,inthemusic。
Ifitwereonlythatittoldhimsorrowfullythevalueofwhathehadlost,hethankedHeavenforitwithaferventgratitude。
Asthelastchorddieduponhisear,heraisedhisheadtolistentoitslingeringvibration。Beyondtheboy,sothathissleepingfigurelayatitsfeet,thePhantomstood,immovableandsilent,withitseyesuponhim。
Ghastlyitwas,asithadeverbeen,butnotsocruelandrelentlessinitsaspect—orhethoughtorhopedso,ashelookeduponittrembling。Itwasnotalone,butinitsshadowyhanditheldanotherhand。
Andwhosewasthat?WastheformthatstoodbesideitindeedMilly’s,orbuthershadeandpicture?Thequietheadwasbentalittle,ashermannerwas,andhereyeswerelookingdown,asifinpity,onthesleepingchild。Aradiantlightfellonherface,butdidnottouchthePhantom;for,thoughclosebesideher,itwasdarkandcolourlessasever。
"Spectre!"saidtheChemist,newlytroubledashelooked,"Ihavenotbeenstubbornorpresumptuousinrespectofher。Oh,donotbringherhere。Sparemethat!"
"Thisisbutashadow,"saidthePhantom;"whenthemorningshinesseekouttherealitywhoseimageIpresentbeforeyou。"
"Isitmyinexorabledoomtodoso?"criedtheChemist。
"Itis,"repliedthePhantom。
"Todestroyherpeace,hergoodness;tomakeherwhatIammyself,andwhatIhavemadeofothers!"
"Ihavesaidseekherout,"returnedthePhantom。"Ihavesaidnomore。"
"Oh,tellme,"exclaimedRedlaw,catchingatthehopewhichhefanciedmightliehiddeninthewords。"CanIundowhatIhavedone?"
"No,"returnedthePhantom。
"Idonotaskforrestorationtomyself,"saidRedlaw。"WhatI
abandoned,Iabandonedofmyownfreewill,andhavejustlylost。
ButforthosetowhomIhavetransferredthefatalgift;whoneversoughtit;whounknowinglyreceivedacurseofwhichtheyhadnowarning,andwhichtheyhadnopowertoshun;canIdonothing?"
"Nothing,"saidthePhantom。
"IfIcannot,cananyone?"
ThePhantom,standinglikeastatue,keptitsgazeuponhimforawhile;thenturneditsheadsuddenly,andlookedupontheshadowatitsside。
"Ah!Canshe?"criedRedlaw,stilllookingupontheshade。
ThePhantomreleasedthehandithadretainedtillnow,andsoftlyraiseditsownwithagestureofdismissal。Uponthat,hershadow,stillpreservingthesameattitude,begantomoveormeltaway。
"Stay,"criedRedlawwithanearnestnesstowhichhecouldnotgiveenoughexpression。"Foramoment!Asanactofmercy!Iknowthatsomechangefelluponme,whenthosesoundswereintheairjustnow。Tellme,haveIlostthepowerofharmingher?MayIgonearherwithoutdread?Oh,lethergivemeanysignofhope!"
ThePhantomlookedupontheshadeashedid—notathim—andgavenoanswer。
"Atleast,saythis—hasshe,henceforth,theconsciousnessofanypowertosetrightwhatIhavedone?"
"Shehasnot,"thePhantomanswered。
"Hasshethepowerbestowedonherwithouttheconsciousness?"
Thephantomanswered:"Seekherout。"
Andhershadowslowlyvanished。
Theywerefacetofaceagain,andlookingoneachother,asintentlyandawfullyasatthetimeofthebestowalofthegift,acrosstheboywhostilllayonthegroundbetweenthem,atthePhantom’sfeet。
"Terribleinstructor,"saidtheChemist,sinkingonhiskneebeforeit,inanattitudeofsupplication,"bywhomIwasrenounced,butbywhomIamrevisited(inwhich,andinwhosemilderaspect,I
wouldfainbelieveIhaveagleamofhope),Iwillobeywithoutinquiry,prayingthatthecryIhavesentupintheanguishofmysoulhasbeen,orwillbe,heard,inbehalfofthosewhomIhaveinjuredbeyondhumanreparation。Butthereisonething—"
"Youspeaktomeofwhatislyinghere,"thephantominterposed,andpointedwithitsfingertotheboy。
"Ido,"returnedtheChemist。"YouknowwhatIwouldask。Whyhasthischildalonebeenproofagainstmyinfluence,andwhy,why,haveIdetectedinitsthoughtsaterriblecompanionshipwithmine?"
"This,"saidthePhantom,pointingtotheboy,"isthelast,completestillustrationofahumancreature,utterlybereftofsuchremembrancesasyouhaveyieldedup。Nosofteningmemoryofsorrow,wrong,ortroubleentershere,becausethiswretchedmortalfromhisbirthhasbeenabandonedtoaworseconditionthanthebeasts,andhas,withinhisknowledge,noonecontrast,nohumanisingtouch,tomakeagrainofsuchamemoryspringupinhishardenedbreast。Allwithinthisdesolatecreatureisbarrenwilderness。Allwithinthemanbereftofwhatyouhaveresigned,isthesamebarrenwilderness。Woetosuchaman!Woe,tenfold,tothenationthatshallcountitsmonsterssuchasthis,lyinghere,byhundredsandbythousands!"
Redlawshrank,appalled,fromwhatheheard。
"Thereisnot,"saidthePhantom,"oneofthese—notone—butsowsaharvestthatmankindMUSTreap。Fromeveryseedofevilinthisboy,afieldofruinisgrownthatshallbegatheredin,andgarneredup,andsownagaininmanyplacesintheworld,untilregionsareoverspreadwithwickednessenoughtoraisethewatersofanotherDeluge。Openandunpunishedmurderinacity’sstreetswouldbelessguiltyinitsdailytoleration,thanonesuchspectacleasthis。"
Itseemedtolookdownupontheboyinhissleep。Redlaw,too,lookeddownuponhimwithanewemotion。
"Thereisnotafather,"saidthePhantom,"bywhosesideinhisdailyorhisnightlywalk,thesecreaturespass;thereisnotamotheramongalltheranksoflovingmothersinthisland;thereisnoonerisenfromthestateofchildhood,butshallberesponsibleinhisorherdegreeforthisenormity。Thereisnotacountrythroughouttheearthonwhichitwouldnotbringacurse。Thereisnoreligionuponearththatitwouldnotdeny;thereisnopeopleuponearthitwouldnotputtoshame。"
TheChemistclaspedhishands,andlooked,withtremblingfearandpity,fromthesleepingboytothePhantom,standingabovehimwithhisfingerpointingdown。
"Behold,Isay,"pursuedtheSpectre,"theperfecttypeofwhatitwasyourchoicetobe。Yourinfluenceispowerlesshere,becausefromthischild’sbosomyoucanbanishnothing。Histhoughtshavebeenin’terriblecompanionship’withyours,becauseyouhavegonedowntohisunnaturallevel。Heisthegrowthofman’sindifference;youarethegrowthofman’spresumption。ThebeneficentdesignofHeavenis,ineachcase,overthrown,andfromthetwopolesoftheimmaterialworldyoucometogether。"
TheChemiststoopeduponthegroundbesidetheboy,and,withthesamekindofcompassionforhimthathenowfeltforhimself,coveredhimasheslept,andnolongershrankfromhimwithabhorrenceorindifference。
Soon,now,thedistantlineonthehorizonbrightened,thedarknessfaded,thesunroseredandglorious,andthechimneystacksandgablesoftheancientbuildinggleamedintheclearair,whichturnedthesmokeandvapourofthecityintoacloudofgold。Theverysun—dialinhisshadycorner,wherethewindwasusedtospinwithsuchunwindyconstancy,shookoffthefinerparticlesofsnowthathadaccumulatedonhisdulloldfaceinthenight,andlookedoutatthelittlewhitewreathseddyingroundandroundhim。
Doubtlesssomeblindgropingofthemorningmadeitswaydownintotheforgottencryptsocoldandearthy,wheretheNormanarcheswerehalfburiedintheground,andstirredthedullsapinthelazyvegetationhangingtothewalls,andquickenedtheslowprincipleoflifewithinthelittleworldofwonderfulanddelicatecreationwhichexistedthere,withsomefaintknowledgethatthesunwasup。
TheTetterbyswereup,anddoing。Mr。Tetterbytookdowntheshuttersoftheshop,and,stripbystrip,revealedthetreasuresofthewindowtotheeyes,soproofagainsttheirseductions,ofJerusalemBuildings。Adolphushadbeenoutsolongalready,thathewashalfwayonto"MorningPepper。"FivesmallTetterbys,whosetenroundeyesweremuchinflamedbysoapandfriction,wereinthetorturesofacoolwashinthebackkitchen;Mrs。Tetterbypresiding。Johnny,whowaspushedandhustledthroughhistoiletwithgreatrapiditywhenMolochchancedtobeinanexactingframeofmind(whichwasalwaysthecase),staggeredupanddownwithhischargebeforetheshopdoor,undergreaterdifficultiesthanusual;
theweightofMolochbeingmuchincreasedbyacomplicationofdefencesagainstthecold,composedofknittedworsted—work,andformingacompletesuitofchain—armour,withahead—pieceandbluegaiters。
Itwasapeculiarityofthisbabytobealwayscuttingteeth。
Whethertheynevercame,orwhethertheycameandwentawayagain,isnotinevidence;butithadcertainlycutenough,ontheshowingofMrs。Tetterby,tomakeahandsomedentalprovisionforthesignoftheBullandMouth。Allsortsofobjectswereimpressedfortherubbingofitsgums,notwithstandingthatitalwayscarried,danglingatitswaist(whichwasimmediatelyunderitschin),abonering,largeenoughtohaverepresentedtherosaryofayoungnun。Knife—handles,umbrella—tops,theheadsofwalking—sticksselectedfromthestock,thefingersofthefamilyingeneral,butespeciallyofJohnny,nutmeg—graters,crusts,thehandlesofdoors,andthecoolknobsonthetopsofpokers,wereamongthecommonestinstrumentsindiscriminatelyappliedforthisbaby’srelief。Theamountofelectricitythatmusthavebeenrubbedoutofitinaweek,isnottobecalculated。StillMrs。Tetterbyalwayssaid"itwascomingthrough,andthenthechildwouldbeherself;"andstillitneverdidcomethrough,andthechildcontinuedtobesomebodyelse。
ThetempersofthelittleTetterbyshadsadlychangedwithafewhours。Mr。andMrs。Tetterbythemselveswerenotmorealteredthantheiroffspring。Usuallytheywereanunselfish,good—natured,yieldinglittlerace,sharingshortcommonswhenithappened(whichwasprettyoften)contentedlyandevengenerously,andtakingagreatdealofenjoymentoutofaverylittlemeat。Buttheywerefightingnow,notonlyforthesoapandwater,butevenforthebreakfastwhichwasyetinperspective。ThehandofeverylittleTetterbywasagainsttheotherlittleTetterbys;andevenJohnny’shand—thepatient,much—enduring,anddevotedJohnny—roseagainstthebaby!Yes,Mrs。Tetterby,goingtothedoorbymereaccident,sawhimviciouslypickoutaweakplaceinthesuitofarmourwhereaslapwouldtell,andslapthatblessedchild。
Mrs。Tetterbyhadhimintotheparlourbythecollar,inthatsameflashoftime,andrepaidhimtheassaultwithusurythereto。
"Youbrute,youmurderinglittleboy,"saidMrs。Tetterby。"Hadyouthehearttodoit?"
"Whydon’therteethcomethrough,then,"retortedJohnny,inaloudrebelliousvoice,"insteadofbotheringme?Howwouldyoulikeityourself?"
"Likeit,sir!"saidMrs。Tetterby,relievinghimofhisdishonouredload。
"Yes,likeit,"saidJohnny。"Howwouldyou?Notatall。Ifyouwasme,you’dgoforasoldier。Iwill,too。Therean’tnobabiesintheArmy。"
Mr。Tetterby,whohadarriveduponthesceneofaction,rubbedhischinthoughtfully,insteadofcorrectingtherebel,andseemedratherstruckbythisviewofamilitarylife。
"IwishIwasintheArmymyself,ifthechild’sintheright,"
saidMrs。Tetterby,lookingatherhusband,"forIhavenopeaceofmylifehere。I’maslave—aVirginiaslave:"someindistinctassociationwiththeirweakdescentonthetobaccotradeperhapssuggestedthisaggravatedexpressiontoMrs。Tetterby。"Ineverhaveaholiday,oranypleasureatall,fromyear’sendtoyear’send!Why,Lordblessandsavethechild,"saidMrs。Tetterby,shakingthebabywithanirritabilityhardlysuitedtosopiousanaspiration,"what’sthematterwithhernow?"
Notbeingabletodiscover,andnotrenderingthesubjectmuchclearerbyshakingit,Mrs。Tetterbyputthebabyawayinacradle,and,foldingherarms,satrockingitangrilywithherfoot。
"Howyoustandthere,’Dolphus,"saidMrs。Tetterbytoherhusband。
"Whydon’tyoudosomething?"
"BecauseIdon’tcareaboutdoinganything,"Mr。Tetterbyreplied。
"IamsureIdon’t,"saidMrs。Tetterby。
"I’lltakemyoathIdon’t,"saidMr。Tetterby。
AdiversionarosehereamongJohnnyandhisfiveyoungerbrothers,who,inpreparingthefamilybreakfasttable,hadfallentoskirmishingforthetemporarypossessionoftheloaf,andwerebuffetingoneanotherwithgreatheartiness;thesmallestboyofall,withprecociousdiscretion,hoveringoutsidetheknotofcombatants,andharassingtheirlegs。Intothemidstofthisfray,Mr。andMrs。Tetterbybothprecipitatedthemselveswithgreatardour,asifsuchgroundweretheonlygroundonwhichtheycouldnowagree;andhaving,withnovisibleremainsoftheirlatesoft—
heartedness,laidaboutthemwithoutanylenity,anddonemuchexecution,resumedtheirformerrelativepositions。
"Youhadbetterreadyourpaperthandonothingatall,"saidMrs。
Tetterby。
"What’stheretoreadinapaper?"returnedMr。Tetterby,withexcessivediscontent。
"What?"saidMrs。Tetterby。"Police。"
"It’snothingtome,"saidTetterby。"WhatdoIcarewhatpeopledo,oraredoneto?"
"Suicides,"suggestedMrs。Tetterby。
"Nobusinessofmine,"repliedherhusband。
"Births,deaths,andmarriages,arethosenothingtoyou?"saidMrs。Tetterby。
"Ifthebirthswerealloverforgood,andallto—day;andthedeathswerealltobegintocomeoffto—morrow;Idon’tseewhyitshouldinterestme,tillIthoughtitwasacomingtomyturn,"
grumbledTetterby。"Astomarriages,I’vedoneitmyself。IknowquiteenoughaboutTHEM。"
Tojudgefromthedissatisfiedexpressionofherfaceandmanner,Mrs。Tetterbyappearedtoentertainthesameopinionsasherhusband;butsheopposedhim,nevertheless,forthegratificationofquarrellingwithhim。
"Oh,you’reaconsistentman,"saidMrs。Tetterby,"an’tyou?You,withthescreenofyourownmakingthere,madeofnothingelsebutbitsofnewspapers,whichyousitandreadtothechildrenbythehalf—hourtogether!"
"Sayusedto,ifyouplease,"returnedherhusband。"Youwon’tfindmedoingsoanymore。I’mwisernow。"
"Bah!wiser,indeed!"saidMrs。Tetterby。"Areyoubetter?"
ThequestionsoundedsomediscordantnoteinMr。Tetterby’sbreast。
Heruminateddejectedly,andpassedhishandacrossandacrosshisforehead。
"Better!"murmuredMr。Tetterby。"Idon’tknowasanyofusarebetter,orhappiereither。Better,isit?"
Heturnedtothescreen,andtracedaboutitwithhisfinger,untilhefoundacertainparagraphofwhichhewasinquest。
"Thisusedtobeoneofthefamilyfavourites,Irecollect,"saidTetterby,inaforlornandstupidway,"andusedtodrawtearsfromthechildren,andmake’emgood,iftherewasanylittlebickeringordiscontentamong’em,nexttothestoryoftherobinredbreastsinthewood。’Melancholycaseofdestitution。Yesterdayasmallman,withababyinhisarms,andsurroundedbyhalf—a—dozenraggedlittleones,ofvariousagesbetweentenandtwo,thewholeofwhomwereevidentlyinafamishingcondition,appearedbeforetheworthymagistrate,andmadethefollowingrecital:’—Ha!Idon’tunderstandit,I’msure,"saidTetterby;"Idon’tseewhatithasgottodowithus。"
"Howoldandshabbyhelooks,"saidMrs。Tetterby,watchinghim。
"Ineversawsuchachangeinaman。Ah!dearme,dearme,dearme,itwasasacrifice!"
"Whatwasasacrifice?"herhusbandsourlyinquired。
Mrs。Tetterbyshookherhead;andwithoutreplyinginwords,raisedacompletesea—stormaboutthebaby,byherviolentagitationofthecradle。
"Ifyoumeanyourmarriagewasasacrifice,mygoodwoman—"saidherhusband。
"IDOmeanit"saidhiswife。
"Why,thenImeantosay,"pursuedMr。Tetterby,assulkilyandsurlilyasshe,"thattherearetwosidestothataffair;andthatIwasthesacrifice;andthatIwishthesacrificehadn’tbeenaccepted。"
"Iwishithadn’t,Tetterby,withallmyheartandsoulIdoassureyou,"saidhiswife。"Youcan’twishitmorethanIdo,Tetterby。"
"Idon’tknowwhatIsawinher,"mutteredthenewsman,"I’msure;
—certainly,ifIsawanything,it’snottherenow。Iwasthinkingso,lastnight,aftersupper,bythefire。She’sfat,she’sageing,shewon’tbearcomparisonwithmostotherwomen。"
"He’scommon—looking,hehasnoairwithhim,he’ssmall,he’sbeginningtostoopandhe’sgettingbald,"mutteredMrs。Tetterby。
"ImusthavebeenhalfoutofmymindwhenIdidit,"mutteredMr。
Tetterby。
"Mysensesmusthaveforsookme。That’stheonlywayinwhichI
canexplainittomyself,"saidMrs。Tetterbywithelaboration。
Inthismoodtheysatdowntobreakfast。ThelittleTetterbyswerenothabituatedtoregardthatmealinthelightofasedentaryoccupation,butdiscusseditasadanceortrot;ratherresemblingasavageceremony,intheoccasionallyshrillwhoops,andbrandishingsofbreadandbutter,withwhichitwasaccompanied,aswellasintheintricatefilingsoffintothestreetandbackagain,andthehoppingsupanddownthedoor—steps,whichwereincidentaltotheperformance。Inthepresentinstance,thecontentionsbetweentheseTetterbychildrenforthemilk—and—waterjug,commontoall,whichstooduponthetable,presentedsolamentableaninstanceofangrypassionsrisenveryhighindeed,thatitwasanoutrageonthememoryofDr。Watts。ItwasnotuntilMr。Tetterbyhaddriventhewholeherdoutatthefrontdoor,thatamoment’speacewassecured;andeventhatwasbrokenbythediscoverythatJohnnyhadsurreptitiouslycomeback,andwasatthatinstantchokinginthejuglikeaventriloquist,inhisindecentandrapacioushaste。