chapter01CHAPTERI
　　HOWCANDIDEWASBROUGHTUPINAMAGNIFICIENT
　　CASTLEANDHOW
　　HEWASDRIVENTHENCE
　　InthecountryofWestphalia，inthecastleofthemostnobleBaronofThunder-ten-tronckh，livedayouthwhomNaturehadendowedwithamostsweetdisposition。Hisfacewasthetrueindexofhismind。Hehadasolidjudgmentjoinedtothemostunaffectedsimplicity;andhence，Ipresume，hehadhisnameofCandide。TheoldservantsofthehousesuspectedhimtohavebeenthesonoftheBaron’ssister，byaverygoodsortofagentlemanoftheneighborhood，whomthatyoungladyrefusedtomarry，becausehecouldproducenomorethanthreescoreandelevenquarteringsinhisarms;
　　therestofthegenealogicaltreebelongingtothefamilyhavingbeenlostthroughtheinjuriesoftime。
　　TheBaronwasoneofthemostpowerfullordsinWestphalia，forhiscastlehadnotonlyagate，butevenwindows，andhisgreathallwashungwithtapestry。Heusedtohuntwithhismastiffsandspanielsinsteadofgreyhounds;hisgroomservedhimforhuntsman;andtheparsonoftheparishofficiatedashisgrandalmoner。Hewascalled"MyLord"byallhispeople，andhenevertoldastorybuteveryonelaughedatit。
　　MyLadyBaroness，whoweighedthreehundredandfiftypounds，consequentlywasapersonofnosmallconsideration;andthenshedidthehonorsofthehousewithadignitythatcommandeduniversalrespect。Herdaughterwasaboutseventeenyearsofage，fresh-colored，comely，plump，anddesirable。TheBaron’ssonseemedtobeayouthineveryrespectworthyofthefatherhesprungfrom。Pangloss，thepreceptor，wastheoracleofthefamily，andlittleCandidelistenedtohisinstructionswithallthesimplicitynaturaltohisageanddisposition。
　　MasterPanglosstaughtthemetaphysico-theologo-cosmolonigology。
　　Hecouldprovetoadmirationthatthereisnoeffectwithoutacause;and，thatinthisbestofallpossibleworlds，theBaron’scastlewasthemostmagnificentofallcastles，andMyLadythebestofallpossiblebaronesses。
　　"Itisdemonstrable"，saidhe，"thatthingscannotbeotherwisethanastheyare;forasallthingshavebeencreatedforsomeend，theymustnecessarilybecreatedforthebestend。Observe，forinstance，thenoseisformedforspectacles，thereforewewearspectacles。Thelegsarevisiblydesignedforstockings，accordinglywewearstockings。Stonesweremadetobehewnandtoconstructcastles，thereforeMyLordhasamagnificentcastle;forthegreatestbaronintheprovinceoughttobethebestlodged。
　　Swinewereintendedtobeeaten，thereforeweeatporkalltheyearround：andthey，whoassertthateverythingisright，donotexpressthemselvescorrectly;theyshouldsaythateverythingisbest。"
　　Candidelistenedattentivelyandbelievedimplicitly，forhethoughtMissCunegondeexcessivelyhandsome，thoughheneverhadthecouragetotellherso。HeconcludedthatnexttothehappinessofbeingBaronofThunder-ten-tronckh，thenextwasthatofbeingMissCunegonde，thenextthatofseeinghereveryday，andthelastthatofhearingthedoctrineofMasterPangloss，thegreatestphilosopherofthewholeprovince，andconsequentlyofthewholeworld。
　　OnedaywhenMissCunegondewenttotakeawalkinalittleneighboringwoodwhichwascalledapark，shesaw，throughthebushes，thesageDoctorPanglossgivingalectureinexperimentalphilosophytohermother’schambermaid，alittlebrownwench，verypretty，andverytractable。AsMissCunegondehadagreatdispositionforthesciences，sheobservedwiththeutmostattentiontheexperimentswhichwererepeatedbeforehereyes;sheperfectlywellunderstoodtheforceofthedoctor’sreasoninguponcausesandeffects。Sheretiredgreatlyflurried，quitepensiveandfilledwiththedesireofknowledge，imaginingthatshemightbeasufficingreasonforyoungCandide，andheforher。
　　Onherwaybackshehappenedtomeettheyoungman;sheblushed，heblushedalso;shewishedhimagoodmorninginaflatteringtone，hereturnedthesalute，withoutknowingwhathesaid。Thenextday，astheywererisingfromdinner，CunegondeandCandideslippedbehindthescreen。Themissdroppedherhandkerchief，theyoungmanpickeditup。
　　Sheinnocentlytookholdofhishand，andheasinnocentlykissedherswithawarmth，asensibility，agrace-allveryparticular;
　　theirlipsmet;theireyessparkled;theirkneestrembled;theirhandsstrayed。TheBaronchancedtocomeby;hebeheldthecauseandeffect，and，withouthesitation，salutedCandidewithsomenotablekicksonthebreechanddrovehimoutofdoors。
　　ThelovelyMissCunegondefaintedaway，and，assoonasshecametoherself，theBaronessboxedherears。Thusageneralconsternationwasspreadoverthismostmagnificentandmostagreeableofallpossiblecastles。
　　chapter02CHAPTERII
　　WHATBEFELLCANDIDEAMONGTHEBULGARIANS
　　Candide，thusdrivenoutofthisterrestrialparadise，rambledalongtimewithoutknowingwherehewent;sometimesheraisedhiseyes，allbedewedwithtears，towardsheaven，andsometimeshecastamelancholylooktowardsthemagnificentcastle，wheredweltthefairestofyoungbaronesses。Helaidhimselfdowntosleepinafurrow，heartbroken，andsupperless。Thesnowfellingreatflakes，and，inthemorningwhenheawoke，hewasalmostfrozentodeath;however，hemadeshifttocrawltothenexttown，whichwascalledWald-berghoff-trarbkdikdorff，withoutapennyinhispocket，andhalfdeadwithhungerandfatigue。
　　Hetookuphisstandatthedoorofaninn。Hehadnotbeenlongtherebeforetwomendressedinbluefixedtheireyessteadfastlyuponhim。
　　"Faith，comrade"，saidoneofthemtotheother，"yonderisawellmadeyoungfellowandoftherightsize。"UponwhichtheymadeuptoCandideandwiththegreatestcivilityandpolitenessinvitedhimtodinewiththem。
　　"Gentlemen"，repliedCandide，withamostengagingmodesty，youdomemuchhonor，butuponmywordIhavenomoney。"
　　"Money，sir！"saidoneofthebluestohim，"youngpersonsofyourappearanceandmeritneverpayanything;why，arenotyoufivefeetfiveincheshigh？"
　　"Yes，gentlemen，thatisreallymysize"，repliedhe，withalowbow。
　　"Comethen，sir，sitdownalongwithus;wewillnotonlypayyourreckoning，butwillneversuffersuchacleveryoungfellowasyoutowantmoney。Menwereborntoassistoneanother。"
　　"Youareperfectlyright，gentlemen"，saidCandide，"thisispreciselythedoctrineofMasterPangloss;andIamconvincedthateverythingisforthebest。"
　　Hisgenerouscompanionsnextentreatedhimtoacceptofafewcrowns，whichhereadilycompliedwith，atthesametimeofferingthemhisnoteforthepayment，whichtheyrefused，andsatdowntotable。
　　"Haveyounotagreataffectionfor-"
　　"Oyes！IhaveagreataffectionforthelovelyMissCunegonde。"
　　"Maybeso"，repliedoneoftheblues，"butthatisnotthequestion！WeaskyouwhetheryouhavenotagreataffectionfortheKingoftheBulgarians？"
　　"FortheKingoftheBulgarians？"saidCandide。"Oh，Lord！
　　notatall，whyI
　　neversawhiminmylife。"
　　"Isitpossible？Oh，heisamostcharmingking！Come，wemustdrinkhishealth。"
　　"Withallmyheart，gentlemen"，saidCandide，andoffhetossedhisglass。
　　"Bravo！"criedtheblues;"youarenowthesupport，thedefender，theherooftheBulgarians;yourfortuneismade;youareinthehighroadtoglory。"
　　Sosaying，theyhandcuffedhim，andcarriedhimawaytotheregiment。
　　Therehewasmadetowheelabouttotheright，totheleft，todrawhisrammer，toreturnhisrammer，topresent，tofire，tomarch，andtheygavehimthirtyblowswithacane;thenextdayheperformedhisexercisealittlebetter，andtheygavehimbuttwenty;thedayfollowinghecameoffwithten，andwaslookeduponasayoungfellowofsurprisinggeniusbyallhiscomrades。
　　Candidewasstruckwithamazement，andcouldnotforthesoulofhimconceivehowhecametobeahero。Onefinespringmorning，hetookitintohisheadtotakeawalk，andhemarchedstraightforward，conceivingittobeaprivilegeofthehumanspecies，aswellasofthebrutecreation，tomakeuseoftheirlegshowandwhentheypleased。Hehadnotgoneabovetwoleagueswhenhewasovertakenbyfourotherheroes，sixfeethigh，whoboundhimneckandheels，andcarriedhimtoadungeon。
　　Acourtmartialsatuponhim，andhewasaskedwhichhelikedbetter，torunthegauntletsixandthirtytimesthroughthewholeregiment，ortohavehisbrainsblownoutwithadozenmusket-balls？
　　Invaindidheremonstratetothemthatthehumanwillisfree，andthathechoseneither;theyobligedhimtomakeachoice，andhedetermined，invirtueofthatdivinegiftcalledfreewill，torunthegauntletsixandthirtytimes。
　　Hehadgonethroughhisdisciplinetwice，andtheregimentbeingcomposedof2，000men，theycomposedforhimexactly4，000strokes，whichlaidbareallhismusclesandnervesfromthenapeofhisnecktohisstern。Astheywerepreparingtomakehimsetoutthethirdtimeouryounghero，unabletosupportitanylonger，beggedasafavorthattheywouldbesoobligingastoshoothimthroughthehead;thefavorbeinggranted，abandagewastiedoverhiseyes，andhewasmadetokneeldown。
　　Atthatveryinstant，HisBulgarianMajestyhappeningtopassbymadeastop，andinquiredintothedelinquent’scrime，andbeingaprinceofgreatpenetration，hefound，fromwhatheheardofCandide，thathewasayoungmetaphysician，entirelyignorantoftheworld;andtherefore，outofhisgreatclemency，hecondescendedtopardonhim，forwhichhisnamewillbecelebratedineveryjournal，andineveryage。AskillfulsurgeonmadeacureoftheflagellatedCandideinthreeweeksbymeansofemollientunguentsprescribedbyDioscorides。Hissoreswerenowskimmedoverandhewasabletomarch，whentheKingoftheBulgariansgavebattletotheKingoftheAbares。
　　chapter03CHAPTERIII
　　HOWCANDIDEESCAPEDFROMTHEBULGARIANSAND
　　WHATBEFELLHIMAFTERWARDS
　　Neverwasanythingsogallant，sowellaccoutred，sobrilliant，andsofinelydisposedasthetwoarmies。Thetrumpets，fifes，hautboys，drums，andcannonmadesuchharmonyasneverwasheardinHellitself。
　　Theentertainmentbeganbyadischargeofcannon，which，inthetwinklingofaneye，laidflatabout6，000menoneachside。Themusketbulletssweptaway，outofthebestofallpossibleworlds，nineortenthousandscoundrelsthatinfesteditssurface。Thebayonetwasnextthesufficientreasonofthedeathsofseveralthousands。Thewholemightamounttothirtythousandsouls。Candidetrembledlikeaphilosopher，andconcealedhimselfaswellashecouldduringthisheroicbutchery。
　　Atlength，whilethetwokingswerecausingTeDeumstobesungintheircamps，Candidetookaresolutiontogoandreasonsomewhereelseuponcausesandeffects。Afterpassingoverheapsofdeadordyingmen，thefirstplacehecametowasaneighboringvillage，intheAbarianterritories，whichhadbeenburnedtothegroundbytheBulgarians，agreeablytothelawsofwar。Herelayanumberofoldmencoveredwithwounds，whobeheldtheirwivesdyingwiththeirthroatscut，andhuggingtheirchildrentotheirbreasts，allstainedwithblood。Thereseveralyoungvirgins，whosebodieshadbeenrippedopen，aftertheyhadsatisfiedthenaturalnecessitiesoftheBulgarianheroes，breathedtheirlast;
　　whileothers，half-burnedintheflames，beggedtobedispatchedoutoftheworld。Thegroundaboutthemwascoveredwiththebrains，arms，andlegsofdeadmen。
　　Candidemadeallthehastehecouldtoanothervillage，whichbelongedtotheBulgarians，andtherehefoundtheheroicAbareshadenactedthesametragedy。Thencecontinuingtowalkoverpalpitatinglimbs，orthroughruinedbuildings，atlengthhearrivedbeyondthetheaterofwar，withalittleprovisioninhisbudget，andMissCunegonde’simageinhisheart。WhenhearrivedinHollandhisprovisionfailedhim;buthavingheardthattheinhabitantsofthatcountrywereallrichandChristians，hemadehimselfsureofbeingtreatedbytheminthesamemannerastheBaron’scastle，beforehehadbeendriventhencethroughthepowerofMissCunegonde’sbrighteyes。
　　Heaskedcharityofseveralgrave-lookingpeople，whooneandallansweredhim，thatifhecontinuedtofollowthistradetheywouldhavehimsenttothehouseofcorrection，whereheshouldbetaughttogethisbread。
　　Henextaddressedhimselftoapersonwhohadjustcomefromharanguinganumerousassemblyforawholehouronthesubjectofcharity。Theorator，squintingathimunderhisbroadbrimmedhat，askedhimsternly，whatbroughthimthitherandwhetherhewasforthegoodoldcause？
　　"Sir"，saidCandide，inasubmissivemanner，"Iconceivetherecanbenoeffectwithoutacause;everythingisnecessarilyconcatenatedandarrangedforthebest。ItwasnecessarythatIshouldbebanishedfromthepresenceofMissCunegonde;thatIshouldafterwardsrunthegauntlet;anditisnecessaryIshouldbegmybread，tillIamabletogetit。Allthiscouldnothavebeenotherwise。"
　　"Harkye，friend"，saidtheorator，"doyouholdthePopetobeAntichrist？"
　　"Truly，Ineverheardanythingaboutit"，saidCandide，"butwhetherheisornot，Iaminwantofsomethingtoeat。"
　　"Thoudeservestnottoeatortodrink"，repliedtheorator，"wretch，monster，thatthouart！hence！avoidmysight，norevercomenearmeagainwhilethoulivest。"
　　Theorator’swifehappenedtoputherheadoutofthewindowatthatinstant，when，seeingamanwhodoubtedwhetherthePopewasAntichrist，shedischargeduponhisheadautensilfullofwater。Goodheavens，towhatexcessdoesreligiouszealtransportwomankind！
　　Amanwhohadneverbeenchristened，anhonestAnabaptistnamedJames，waswitnesstothecruelandignominioustreatmentshowedtooneofhisbrethren，toarational，two-footed，unfledgedbeing。Movedwithpityhecarriedhimtohisownhouse，causedhimtobecleaned，gavehimmeatanddrink，andmadehimapresentoftwoflorins，atthesametimeproposingtoinstructhiminhisowntradeofweavingPersiansilks，whicharefabricatedinHolland。
　　Candide，penetratedwithsomuchgoodness，threwhimselfathisfeet，crying，"NowIamconvincedthatmyMasterPanglosstoldmetruthwhenhesaidthateverythingwasforthebestinthisworld;forIaminfinitelymoreaffectedwithyourextraordinarygenerositythanwiththeinhumanityofthatgentlemanintheblackcloakandhiswife。"
　　chapter04CHAPTERIV
　　HOWCANDIDEFOUNDHISOLDMASTERPANGLOSS
　　AGAINANDWHATHAPPENEDTOHIM
　　Thenextday，asCandidewaswalkingout，hemetabeggarallcoveredwithscabs，hiseyessunkinhishead，theendofhisnoseeatenoff，hismouthdrawnononeside，histeethasblackasacloak，snufflingandcoughingmostviolently，andeverytimeheattemptedtospitoutdroppedatooth。
　　Candide，dividedbetweencompassionandhorror，butgivingwaytotheformer，bestowedonthisshockingfigurethetwoflorinswhichthehonestAnabaptist，James，hadjustbeforegiventohim。Thespecterlookedathimveryearnestly，shedtearsandthrewhisarmsabouthisneck。Candidestartedbackaghast。
　　"Alas！"saidtheonewretchtotheother，"don’tyouknowdearPangloss？"
　　"WhatdoIhear？Isityou，mydearmaster！youIbeholdinthispiteousplight？Whatdreadfulmisfortunehasbefallenyou？Whathasmadeyouleavethemostmagnificentanddelightfulofallcastles？
　　WhathasbecomeofMissCunegonde，themirrorofyoungladies，andNature’smasterpiece？"
　　"Oh，Lord！"criedPangloss，"IamsoweakIcannotstand"，uponwhichCandideinstantlyledhimtotheAnabaptist’sstable，andprocuredhimsomethingtoeat。
　　AssoonasPanglosshadalittlerefreshedhimself，CandidebegantorepeathisinquiriesconcerningMissCunegonde。
　　"Sheisdead"，repliedtheother。
　　"Dead！"criedCandide，andimmediatelyfaintedaway;hisfriendrestoredhimbythehelpofalittlebadvinegar，whichhefoundbychanceinthestable。
　　Candideopenedhiseyes，andagainrepeated："Dead！isMissCunegondedead？Ah，whereisthebestofworldsnow？Butofwhatillnessdidshedie？
　　Wasitofgriefonseeingherfatherkickmeoutofhismagnificentcastle？"
　　"No"，repliedPangloss，"herbodywasrippedopenbytheBulgariansoldiers，aftertheyhadsubjectedhertoasmuchcrueltyasadamselcouldsurvive;theyknockedtheBaron，herfather，ontheheadforattemptingtodefendher;MyLady，hermother，wascutinpieces;mypoorpupilwasservedjustinthesamemannerashissister;andasforthecastle，theyhavenotleftonestoneuponanother;theyhavedestroyedalltheducks，andsheep，thebarns，andthetrees;butwehavehadourrevenge，fortheAbareshavedonetheverysamethinginaneighboringbarony，whichbelongedtoaBulgarianlord。"
　　Athearingthis，Candidefaintedawayasecondtime，but，notwithstanding，havingcometohimselfagain，hesaidallthatitbecamehimtosay;heinquiredintothecauseandeffect，aswellasintothesufficingreasonthathadreducedPanglosstosomiserableacondition。
　　"Alas"，repliedthepreceptor，"itwaslove;love，thecomfortofthehumanspecies;love，thepreserveroftheuniverse;thesoulofallsensiblebeings;
　　love！tenderlove！"
　　"Alas"，criedCandide，"Ihavehadsomeknowledgeoflovemyself，thissovereignofhearts，thissoulofsouls;yetitnevercostmemorethanakissandtwentykicksonthebackside。Buthowcouldthisbeautifulcauseproduceinyousohideousaneffect？"
　　Panglossmadeanswerintheseterms：
　　"OmydearCandide，youmustrememberPacquette，thatprettywench，whowaitedonournobleBaroness;inherarmsItastedthepleasuresofParadise，whichproducedtheseHelltormentswithwhichyouseemedevoured。Shewasinfectedwithanailment，andperhapshassincediedofit;shereceivedthispresentofalearnedFranciscan，whoderiveditfromthefountainhead;hewasindebtedforittoanoldcountess，whohaditofacaptainofhorse，whohaditofamarchioness，whohaditofapage，thepagehaditofaJesuit，who，duringhisnovitiate，haditinadirectlinefromoneofthefellowadventurersofChristopherColumbus;
　　formypartIshallgiveittonobody，Iamadyingman。"
　　"OsagePangloss"，criedCandide，"whatastrangegenealogyisthis！Isnotthedeviltherootofit？"
　　"Notatall"，repliedthegreatman，"itwasathingunavoidable，anecessaryingredientinthebestofworlds;forifColumbushadnotcaughtinanislandinAmericathisdisease，whichcontaminatesthesourceofgeneration，andfrequentlyimpedespropagationitself，andisevidentlyopposedtothegreatendofnature，weshouldhavehadneitherchocolatenorcochineal。Itisalsotobeobserved，that，eventothepresenttime，inthiscontinentofours，thismalady，likeourreligiouscontroversies，ispeculiartoourselves。TheTurks，theIndians，thePersians，theChinese，theSiamese，andtheJapaneseareentirelyunacquaintedwithit;butthereisasufficingreasonforthemtoknowitinafewcenturies。Inthemeantime，itismakingprodigioushavocamongus，especiallyinthosearmiescomposedofwelldisciplinedhirelings，whodeterminethefateofnations;
　　forwemaysafelyaffirm，that，whenanarmyofthirtythousandmenengagesanotherequalinsize，thereareabouttwentythousandinfectedwithsyphilisoneachside。"
　　"Verysurprising，indeed"，saidCandide，"butyoumustgetcured。"
　　"Lordhelpme，howcanI？"saidPangloss。"Mydearfriend，Ihavenotapennyintheworld;andyouknowonecannotbebledorhaveanenemawithoutmoney。"
　　ThislastspeechhaditseffectonCandide;heflewtothecharitableAnabaptist，James;heflunghimselfathisfeet，andgavehimsostrikingapictureofthemiserableconditionofhisfriendthatthegoodmanwithoutanyfurtherhesitationagreedtotakeDr。Panglossintohishouse，andtopayforhiscure。Thecurewaseffectedwithonlythelossofoneeyeandanear。Asbewroteagoodhand，andunderstoodaccountstolerablywell，theAnabaptistmadehimhisbookkeeper。Attheexpirationoftwomonths，beingobligedbysomemercantileaffairstogotoLisbonhetookthetwophilosopherswithhiminthesameship;Pangloss，duringthecourseofthevoyage，explainedtohimhoweverythingwassoconstitutedthatitcouldnotbebetter。Jamesdidnotquiteagreewithhimonthispoint。
　　"Men"，saidhe"must，insomethings，havedeviatedfromtheiroriginalinnocence;fortheywerenotbornwolves，andyettheyworryoneanotherlikethosebeastsofprey。Godnevergavethemtwenty-fourpoundersnorbayonets，andyettheyhavemadecannonandbayonetstodestroyoneanother。TothisaccountImightaddnotonlybankruptcies，butthelawwhichseizesontheeffectsofbankrupts，onlytocheatthecreditors。"
　　"Allthiswasindispensablynecessary"，repliedtheone-eyeddoctor，"forprivatemisfortunesarepublicbenefits;sothatthemoreprivatemisfortunesthereare，thegreateristhegeneralgood。"
　　Whilehewasarguinginthismanner，theskywasovercast，thewindsblewfromthefourquartersofthecompass，andtheshipwasassailedbyamostterribletempest，withinsightoftheportofLisbon。
　　chapter05CHAPTERV
　　ATEMPEST，ASHIPWRECK，ANEARTHQUAKE，AND
　　WHATELSEBEFELLDRPANGLOSS，CANDIDE，AND
　　JAMES，THEANABAPTIST
　　Onehalfofthepassengers，weakenedandhalf-deadwiththeinconceivableanxietyandsicknesswhichtherollingofavesselatseaoccasionsthroughthewholehumanframe，werelosttoallsenseofthedangerthatsurroundedthem。Theothersmadeloudoutcries，orbetookthemselvestotheirprayers;
　　thesailswereblownintoshreds，andthemastswerebroughtbytheboard。
　　Thevesselwasatotalwreck。Everyonewasbusilyemployed，butnobodycouldbeeitherheardorobeyed。TheAnabaptist，beingupondeck，lentahelpinghandaswellastherest，whenabrutishsailorgavehimablowandlaidhimspeechless;but，notwithstanding，withtheviolenceoftheblowthetarhimselftumbledheadforemostoverboard，andfelluponapieceofthebrokenmast，whichheimmediatelygrasped。
　　HonestJames，forgettingtheinjuryhehadsolatelyreceivedfromhim，flewtohisassistance，and，withgreatdifficulty，hauledhiminagain，but，notwithstanding，intheattempt，was，byasuddenjerkoftheship，thrownoverboardhimself，insightoftheveryfellowwhomhehadriskedhislifetosaveandwhotooknottheleastnoticeofhiminthisdistress。Candide，whobeheldallthatpassedandsawhisbenefactoronemomentrisingabovewater，andthenextswallowedupbythemercilesswaves，waspreparingtojumpafterhim，butwaspreventedbythephilosopherPangloss，whodemonstratedtohimthattheroadsteadofLisbonhadbeenmadeonpurposefortheAnabaptisttobedrownedthere。Whilehewasprovinghisargumentapriori，theshipfoundered，andthewholecrewperished，exceptPangloss，Candide，andthesailorwhohadbeenthemeansofdrowningthegoodAnabaptist。Thevillainswamashore;butPanglossandCandidereachedthelanduponaplank。
　　AssoonastheyhadrecoveredfromtheirsurpriseandfatiguetheywalkedtowardsLisbon;withwhatlittlemoneytheyhadlefttheythoughttosavethemselvesfromstarvingafterhavingescapeddrowning。
　　Scarcelyhadtheyceasedtolamentthelossoftheirbenefactorandsetfootinthecity，whentheyperceivedthattheearthtrembledundertheirfeet，andthesea，swellingandfoamingintheharbor，wasdashinginpiecesthevesselsthatwereridingatanchor。Largesheetsofflamesandcinderscoveredthestreetsandpublicplaces;thehousestottered，andweretumbledtopsy-turvyeventotheirfoundations，whichwerethemselvesdestroyed，andthirtythousandinhabitantsofbothsexes，youngandold，wereburiedbeneaththeruins。
　　Thesailor，whistlingandswearing，cried，"Damnit，there’ssomethingtobegothere。"
　　"Whatcanbethesufficingreasonofthisphenomenon？"
　　saidPangloss。
　　"Itiscertainlythedayofjudgment"，saidCandide。
　　Thesailor，defyingdeathinthepursuitofplunder，rushedintothemidstoftheruin，wherehefoundsomemoney，withwhichhegotdrunk，and，afterhehadslepthimselfsoberhepurchasedthefavorsofthefirstgood-naturedwenchthatcameinhisway，amidsttheruinsofdemolishedhousesandthegroansofhalf-buriedandexpiringpersons。
　　Panglosspulledhimbythesleeve。"Friend"，saidhe，"thisisnotright，youtrespassagainsttheuniversalreason，andhavemistakenyourtime。"
　　"Deathandzounds！"answeredtheother，"IamasailorandwasbornatBatavia，andhavetrampledfourtimesuponthecrucifixinasmanyvoyagestoJapan;youhavecometoagoodhandwithyouruniversalreason。"
　　Inthemeantime，Candide，whohadbeenwoundedbysomepiecesofstonethatfellfromthehouses，laystretchedinthestreet，almostcoveredwithrubbish。
　　"ForGod’ssake"，saidhetoPangloss，"getmealittlewineandoil！Iamdying。"
　　"Thisconcussionoftheearthisnonewthing"，saidPangloss，"thecityofLimainSouthAmericaexperiencedthesamelastyear;
　　thesamecause，thesameeffects;thereiscertainlyatrainofsulphurallthewayundergroundfromLimatoLisbon。"
　　"Nothingismoreprobable"，saidCandide;"butfortheloveofGodalittleoilandwine。"
　　"Probable！"repliedthephilosopher，"Imaintainthatthethingisdemonstrable。"
　　Candidefaintedaway，andPanglossfetchedhimsomewaterfromaneighboringspring。Thenextday，insearchingamongtheruins，theyfoundsomeeatableswithwhichtheyrepairedtheirexhaustedstrength。Afterthistheyassistedtheinhabitantsinrelievingthedistressedandwounded。Some，whomtheyhadhumanelyassisted，gavethemasgoodadinnerascouldbeexpectedundersuchterriblecircumstances。Therepast，indeed，wasmournful，andthecompanymoistenedtheirbreadwiththeirtears;butPanglossendeavoredtocomfortthemunderthisafflictionbyaffirmingthatthingscouldnotbeotherwisethattheywere。
　　"For"，saidhe，"allthisisfortheverybestend，forifthereisavolcanoatLisbonitcouldbeinnootherspot;anditisimpossiblebutthingsshouldbeastheyare，foreverythingisforthebest。"
　　Bythesideofthepreceptorsatalittlemandressedinblack，whowasoneofthefamiliarsoftheInquisition。Thisperson，takinghimupwithgreatcomplaisance，said，"Possibly，mygoodsir，youdonotbelieveinoriginalsin;for，ifeverythingisbest，therecouldhavebeennosuchthingasthefallorpunishmentofman。"
　　YourExcellencywillpardonme"，answeredPangloss，stillmorepolitely;"forthefallofmanandthecurseconsequentthereuponnecessarilyenteredintothesystemofthebestofworlds。"
　　"Thatisasmuchastosay，sir"，rejoinedthefamiliar，"youdonotbelieveinfreewill。"
　　"YourExcellencywillbesogoodastoexcuseme"，saidPangloss，"freewillisconsistentwithabsolutenecessity;foritwasnecessaryweshouldbefree，forinthatthewill-"
　　Panglosswasinthemidstofhisproposition，whenthefamiliarbeckonedtohisattendanttohelphimtoaglassofportwine。
　　chapter06CHAPTERVI
　　HOWTHEPORTUGUESEMADEASUPERBAUTO-DE-FE
　　TOPREVENTANYFUTUREEARTHQUAKES，ANDHOW
　　CANDIDEUNDERWENTPUBLIC
　　FLAGELLATION
　　Aftertheearthquake，whichhaddestroyedthree-fourthsofthecityofLisbon，thesagesofthatcountrycouldthinkofnomeansmoreeffectualtopreservethekingdomfromutterruinthantoentertainthepeoplewithanauto-da-fe，ithavingbeendecidedbytheUniversityofCoimbra，thattheburningofafewpeoplealivebyaslowfire，andwithgreatceremony，isaninfalliblepreventiveofearthquakes。
　　InconsequencethereoftheyhadseizedonaBiscayanformarryinghisgodmother，andontwoPortuguesefortakingoutthebaconofalardedpullettheywereeating;afterdinnertheycameandsecuredDr。Pangloss，andhispupilCandide，theoneforspeakinghismind，andtheotherforseemingtoapprovewhathehadsaid。Theywereconductedtoseparateapartments，extremelycool，wheretheywereneverincommodedwiththesun。Eightdaysafterwardstheywereeachdressedinasanbenito，andtheirheadswereadornedwithpapermitres。ThemitreandsanbenitowornbyCandidewerepaintedwithflamesreversedandwithdevilsthathadneithertailsnorclaws;butDr。Pangloss’sdevilshadbothtailsandclaws，andhisflameswereupright。Inthesehabitstheymarchedinprocession，andheardaverypatheticsermon，whichwasfollowedbyananthem，accompaniedbybagpipes。Candidewasfloggedtosometune，whiletheanthemwasbeingsung;theBiscayanandthetwomenwhowouldnoteatbaconwereburned，andPanglosswashanged，whichisnotacommoncustomatthesesolemnities。Thesamedaytherewasanotherearthquake，whichmademostdreadfulhavoc。
　　Candide，amazed，terrified，confounded，astonished，allbloody，andtremblingfromheadtofoot，saidtohimself，"Ifthisisthebestofallpossibleworlds，whataretheothers？IfIhadonlybeenwhipped，Icouldhaveputupwithit，asIdidamongtheBulgarians;but，notwithstanding，ohmydearPangloss！mybelovedmaster！thougreatestofphilosophers！
　　thateverI
　　shouldlivetoseetheehanged，withoutknowingforwhat！
　　OmydearAnabaptist，thoubestofmen，thatitshouldbethyfatetobedrownedintheveryharbor！OMissCunegonde，youmirrorofyoungladies！
　　thatitshouldbeyourfatetohaveyourbodyrippedopen！"
　　Hewasmakingthebestofhiswayfromtheplacewherehehadbeenpreachedto，whipped，absolvedandblessed，whenhewasaccostedbyanoldwoman，whosaidtohim，"Takecourage，child，andfollowme。"
　　chapter07CHAPTERVII
　　HOWTHEOLDWOMANTOOKCAREOFCANDIDE，AND
　　HOWHEFOUND
　　THEOBJECTOFHISLOVE
　　Candidefollowedtheoldwoman，thoughwithouttakingcourage，toadecayedhouse，whereshegavehimapotofpomatumtoanointhissores，showedhimaveryneatbed，withasuitofclotheshangingbyit;andsetvictualsanddrinkbeforehim。
　　"There"，saidshe，"eat，drink，andsleep，andmayOurLadyofAtocha，andthegreatSt。AnthonyofPadua，andtheillustriousSt。
　　JamesofCompostella，takeyouundertheirprotection。Ishallbebacktomorrow。"
　　Candide，struckwithamazementatwhathehadseen，atwhathehadsuffered，andstillmorewiththecharityoftheoldwoman，wouldhaveshownhisacknowledgmentbykissingherhand。
　　"Itisnotmyhandyououghttokiss"，saidtheoldwoman。
　　"Ishallbebacktomorrow。Anointyourback，eat，andtakeyourrest。"
　　Candide，notwithstandingsomanydisasters，ateandslept。
　　Thenextmorning，theoldwomanbroughthimhisbreakfast;examinedhisback，andrubbeditherselfwithanotherointment。Shereturnedatthepropertime，andbroughthimhisdinner;andatnight，shevisitedhimagainwithhissupper。
　　Thenextdaysheobservedthesameceremonies。
　　"Whoareyou？"saidCandidetoher。"Whohasinspiredyouwithsomuchgoodness？WhatreturncanImakeyouforthischaritableassistance？"
　　Thegoodoldbeldamekeptaprofoundsilence。Intheeveningshereturned，butwithouthissupper。
　　"Comealongwithme"，saidshe，"butdonotspeakaword。"
　　Shetookhimbythearm，andwalkedwithhimaboutaquarterofamileintothecountry，tilltheycametoalonelyhousesurroundedwithmoatsandgardens。Theoldconductressknockedatalittledoor，whichwasimmediatelyopened，andsheshowedhimupapairofbackstairs，intoasmall，butrichlyfurnishedapartment。Thereshemadehimsitdownonabrocadedsofa，shutthedooruponhim，andlefthim。Candidethoughthimselfinatrance;helookeduponhiswholelife，hitherto，asafrightfuldream，andthepresentmomentasaveryagreeableone。
　　Theoldwomansoonreturned，supporting，withgreatdifficulty，ayounglady，whoappearedscarceabletostand。Shewasofamajesticmienandstature，herdresswasrich，andglitteringwithdiamonds，andherfacewascoveredwithaveil。
　　"Takeoffthatveil"，saidtheoldwomantoCandide。
　　Theyoungmanapproached，and，withatremblinghand，tookoffherveil。
　　Whatahappymoment！Whatsurprise！HethoughthebeheldMissCunegonde;hedidbeholdher-itwassheherself。Hisstrengthfailedhim，hecouldnotutteraword，hefellatherfeet。Cunegondefainteduponthesofa。Theoldwomanbedewedthemwithspirits;theyrecovered-theybegantospeak。Atfirsttheycouldexpressthemselvesonlyinbrokenaccents;
　　theirquestionsandanswerswerealternatelyinterruptedwithsighs，tears，andexclamations。Theoldwomandesiredthemtomakelessnoise，andafterthisprudentadmonitionleftthemtogether。
　　"Goodheavens！"criedCandide，"isityou？IsitMissCunegondeIbehold，andalive？DoIfindyouagaininPortugal？thenyouhavenotbeenravished？theydidnotripopenyourbody，asthephilosopherPanglossinformedme？"
　　"Indeedbuttheydid"，repliedMissCunegonde;"butthesetwoaccidentsdonotalwaysprovemortal。"
　　"Butwereyourfatherandmotherkilled？"
　　"Alas！"answeredshe，"itisbuttootrue！"andshewept。
　　"Andyourbrother？"
　　"Andmybrotheralso。"
　　"AndhowcameyouintoPortugal？Andhowdidyouknowofmybeinghere？Andbywhatstrangeadventuredidyoucontrivetohavemebroughtintothishouse？Andhow-"
　　"Iwilltellyouall"，repliedthelady，"butfirstyoumustacquaintmewithallthathasbefallenyousincetheinnocentkissyougaveme，andtherudekickingyoureceivedinconsequenceofit。"
　　Candide，withthegreatestsubmission，preparedtoobeythecommandsofhisfairmistress;andthoughhewasstillfilledwithamazement，thoughhisvoicewaslowandtremulous，thoughhisbackpainedhim，yethegaveheramostingenuousaccountofeverythingthathadbefallenhim，sincethemomentoftheirseparation。Cunegonde，withhereyesupliftedtoheaven，shedtearswhenherelatedthedeathofthegoodAnabaptist，James，andofPangloss;afterwhichshethusrelatedheradventurestoCandide，wholostnotonesyllablesheuttered，andseemedtodevourherwithhiseyesallthetimeshewasspeaking。
　　chapter08CHAPTERVIII
　　CUNEGONDE’SSTORY
　　Iwasinbed，andfastasleep，whenitpleasedHeaventosendtheBulgarianstoourdelightfulcastleofThunder-ten-tronckh，wheretheymurderedmyfatherandbrother，andcutmymotherinpieces。
　　AtallBulgariansoldier，sixfeethigh，perceivingthatIhadfaintedawayatthissight，attemptedtoravishme;theoperationbroughtmetomysenses。I
　　cried，Istruggled，Ibit，Iscratched，IwouldhavetornthetallBulgarian’seyesout，notknowingthatwhathadhappenedatmyfather’scastlewasacustomarything。Thebrutalsoldier，enragedatmyresistance，gavemeawoundinmyleftlegwithhishanger，themarkofwhichIstillcarry。"
　　"MethinksIlongtoseeit"，saidCandide，withallimaginablesimplicity。
　　"Youshall"，saidCunegonde，"butletmeproceed。"
　　"Praydo"，repliedCandide。
　　Shecontinued。"ABulgariancaptaincamein，andsawmewelteringinmyblood，andthesoldierstillasbusyasifnoonehadbeenpresent。Theofficer，enragedatthefellow’swantofrespecttohim，killedhimwithonestrokeofhissabreashelayuponme。Thiscaptaintookcareofme，hadmecured，andcarriedmeasaprisonerofwartohisquarters。
　　Iwashedwhatlittlelinenhepossessed，andcookedhisvictuals：
　　hewasveryfondofme，thatwascertain;neithercanIdenythathewaswellmade，andhadasoft，whiteskin，buthewasverystupid，andknewnothingofphilosophy：itmightplainlybeperceivedthathehadnotbeeneducatedunderDr。
　　Pangloss。Inthreemonths，havinggambledawayallhismoney，andhavinggrowntiredofme，hesoldmetoaJew，namedDonIssachar，whotradedinHollandandPortugal，andwaspassionatelyfondofwomen。
　　ThisJewshowedmegreatkindness，inhopesofgainingmyfavors;
　　buthenevercouldprevailonmetoyield。Amodestwomanmaybeonceravished;buthervirtueisgreatlystrengthenedthereby。Inordertomakesureofme，hebroughtmetothiscountryhouseyounowsee。IhadhithertobelievedthatnothingcouldequalthebeautyofthecastleofThunder-ten-tronckh;
　　butI
　　foundIwasmistaken。
　　"TheGrandInquisitorsawmeonedayatMass，ogledmeallthetimeofservice，andwhenitwasover，senttoletmeknowhewantedtospeakwithmeaboutsomeprivatebusiness。Iwasconductedtohispalace，whereItoldhimallmystory;herepresentedtomehowmuchitwasbeneathapersonofmybirthtobelongtoacircumcisedIsraelite。HecausedaproposaltobemadetoDonIssachar，thatheshouldresignmetoHisLordship。DonIssachar，beingthecourtbankerandamanofcredit，wasnoteasytobeprevailedupon。HisLordshipthreatenedhimwithanauto-da-fe;
　　inshort，myJewwasfrightenedintoacompromise，anditwasagreedbetweenthem，thatthehouseandmyselfshouldbelongtobothincommon;
　　thattheJewshouldhaveMonday，Wednesday，andtheSabbathtohimself;
　　andtheInquisitortheotherfourdaysoftheweek。Thisagreementhassubsistedalmostsixmonths;butnotwithoutseveralcontests，whetherthespacefromSaturdaynighttoSundaymorningbelongedtotheoldorthenewlaw。Formypart，Ihavehithertowithstoodthemboth，andtrulyIbelievethisistheveryreasonwhytheyarebothsofondofme。
　　"Atlengthtoturnasidethescourgeofearthquakes，andtointimidateDonIssachar，MyLordInquisitorwaspleasedtocelebrateanauto-da-fe。Hedidmethehonortoinvitemetotheceremony。Ihadaverygoodseat;andrefreshmentsofallkindswereofferedtheladiesbetweenMassandtheexecution。IwasdreadfullyshockedattheburningofthetwoJews，andthehonestBiscayanwhomarriedhisgodmother;buthowgreatwasmysurprise，myconsternation，andconcern，whenIbeheldafiguresolikePangloss，dressedinasanbenitoandmitre！Irubbedmyeyes，Ilookedathimattentively。Isawhimhanged，andIfaintedaway：
　　scarcehadI
　　recoveredmysenses，whenIsawyoustrippedofclothing;
　　thiswastheheightofhorror，grief，anddespair。Imustconfesstoyouforatruth，thatyourskiniswhiterandmorebloomingthanthatoftheBulgariancaptain。
　　Thisspectacleworkedmeuptoapitchofdistraction。
　　Iscreamedout，andwouldhavesaid，’Hold，barbarians！’butmyvoicefailedme;andindeedmycrieswouldhavesignifiednothing。Afteryouhadbeenseverelywhipped，I
　　saidtomyself，’HowisitpossiblethatthelovelyCandideandthesagePanglossshouldbeatLisbon，theonetoreceiveahundredlashes，andtheothertobehangedbyorderofMyLordInquisitor，ofwhomIamsogreatafavorite？Panglossdeceivedmemostcruelly，insayingthateverythingisforthebest。’
　　"Thusagitatedandperplexed，nowdistractedandlost，nowhalfdeadwithgrief，Irevolvedinmymindthemurderofmyfather，mother，andbrother，committedbeforemyeyes;theinsolenceoftherascallyBulgariansoldier;
　　thewoundhegavemeinthegroin;myservitude;mybeingacook-wenchtomyBulgariancaptain;mysubjectiontothehatefulJew，andmycruelInquisitor;thehangingofDoctorPangloss;theMisereresungwhileyouwerebeingwhipped;andparticularlythekissIgaveyoubehindthescreen，thelastdayIeverbeheldyou。IreturnedthankstoGodforhavingbroughtyoutotheplacewhereIwas，aftersomanytrials。I
　　chargedtheoldwomanwhoattendsmetobringyouhitherassoonaswasconvenient。
　　Shehaspunctuallyexecutedmyorders，andInowenjoytheinexpressiblesatisfactionofseeingyou，hearingyou，andspeakingtoyou。Butyoumustcertainlybehalf-deadwithhunger;Imyselfhaveagreatinclinationtoeat，andsoletussitdowntosupper。"
　　Uponthisthetwoloversimmediatelyplacedthemselvesattable，and，afterhavingsupped，theyreturnedtoseatthemselvesagainonthemagnificentsofaalreadymentioned，wheretheywereinamorousdalliance，whenSenorDonIssachar，oneofthemastersofthehouse，enteredunexpectedly;itwastheSabbathday，andhecametoenjoyhisprivilege，andsighforthhispassionatthefeetofthefairCunegonde。
　　chapter09CHAPTERIX
　　WHATHAPPENEDTOCUNEGONDE，CANDIDE，THE
　　GRANDINQUISITOR，ANDTHEJEWS
　　ThissameIssacharwasthemostcholericlittleHebrewthathadeverbeeninIsraelsincethecaptivityofBabylon。
　　"What"，saidhe，"thouGalileanslut？TheInquisitorwasnotenoughforthee，butthisrascalmustcomeinforasharewithme？"
　　Inutteringthesewords，hedrewoutalongponiard，whichhealwayscarriedabouthim，andneverdreamingthathisadversaryhadanyarms，heattackedhimmostfuriously;butourhonestWestphalianhadreceivedfromtheoldwomanahandsomeswordwiththesuitofclothes。
　　Candidedrewhisrapier，andthoughhewasverygentleandsweet-tempered，helaidtheIsraelitedeadontheflooratthefairCunegonde’sfeet。
　　"HolyVirgin！"criedshe，"whatwillbecomeofus？Amankilledinmyapartment！Ifthepeace-officerscome，weareundone。"
　　"HadnotPanglossbeenhanged"，repliedCandide，"hewouldhavegivenusmostexcellentadvice，inthisemergency;forhewasaprofoundphilosopher。But，sinceheisnothere，letusconsulttheoldwoman。"
　　Shewasverysensible，andwasbeginningtogiveheradvice，whenanotherdooropenedonasudden。Itwasnowoneo’clockinthemorning，andofcoursethebeginningofSunday，which，byagreement，felltothelotofMyLordInquisitor。EnteringhediscoveredtheflagellatedCandidewithhisdrawnswordinhishand，adeadbodystretchedonthefloor，Cunegondefrightenedoutofherwits，andtheoldwomangivingadvice。
　　Atthatverymoment，asuddenthoughtcameintoCandide’shead。"Ifthisholyman"，thoughthe，"shouldcallassistance，Ishallmostundoubtedlybeconsignedtotheflames，andMissCunegondemayperhapsmeetwithnobettertreatment：besides，hewasthecauseofmybeingsocruellywhipped;
　　heismyrival;andasIhavenowbeguntodipmyhandsinblood，Iwillkillaway，forthereisnotimetohesitate。"
　　Thiswholetrainofreasoningwasclearandinstantaneous;
　　sothat，withoutgivingtimetotheInquisitortorecoverfromhissurprise，heranhimthroughthebody，andlaidhimbythesideoftheJew。
　　"Here’sanotherfinepieceofwork！"criedCunegonde。"Nowtherecanbenomercyforus，weareexcommunicated;ourlasthouriscome。Buthowcouldyou，whoareofsomildatemper，despatchaJewandanInquisitorintwominutes’time？"
　　"Beautifulmaiden"，answeredCandide，"whenamanisinlove，isjealous，andhasbeenfloggedbytheInquisition，hebecomeslosttoallreflection。"
　　Theoldwomanthenputinherword：
　　"TherearethreeAndalusianhorsesinthestable，withasmanybridlesandsaddles;letthebraveCandidegetthemready。Madamhasaparcelofmoidoresandjewels，letusmountimmediately，thoughIhavelostonebuttock;letussetoutforCadiz;itisthefinestweatherintheworld，andthereisgreatpleasureintravelinginthecoolofthenight。"
　　Candide，withoutanyfurtherhesitation，saddledthethreehorses;andMissCunegonde，theoldwoman，andhe，setout，andtraveledthirtymileswithoutoncehalting。Whiletheyweremakingthebestoftheirway，theHolyBrotherhoodenteredthehouse。MyLord，theInquisitor，wasinterredinamagnificentmanner，andMasterIssachar’sbodywasthrownuponadunghill。
　　Candide，Cunegonde，andtheoldwoman，hadbythistimereachedthelittletownofAvacena，inthemidstofthemountainsofSierraMorena，andwereengagedinthefollowingconversationinaninn，wheretheyhadtakenuptheirquarters。
　　chapter10CHAPTERX
　　INWHATDISTRESSCANDIDE，CUNEGONDE，ANDTHE
　　OLDWOMANARRIVEATCADIZ，ANDOFTHEIR
　　EMBARKATION
　　Whocoulditbethathasrobbedmeofmymoidoresandjewels？"exclaimedMissCunegonde，allbathedintears。"Howshallwelive？
　　Whatshallwedo？
　　WhereshallIfindInquisitorsandJewswhocangivememore？"
　　"Alas！"saidtheoldwoman，"IhaveashrewdsuspicionofareverendFranciscanfather，wholaylastnightinthesameinnwithusatBadajoz。
　　GodforbidIshouldcondemnanyonewrongfully，buthecameintoourroomtwice，andhesetoffinthemorninglongbeforeus。"
　　"Alas！"saidCandide，"Panglosshasoftendemonstratedtomethatthegoodsofthisworldarecommontoallmen，andthateveryonehasanequalrighttotheenjoymentofthem;but，notwithstanding，accordingtotheseprinciples，theFranciscanoughttohaveleftusenoughtocarryustotheendofourjourney。Haveyounothingatallleft，mydearMissCunegonde？"
　　"Notamaravedi"，repliedshe。
　　"Whatistobedonethen？"saidCandide。
　　"Selloneofthehorses"，repliedtheoldwoman。"IwillgetupbehindMissCunegonde，thoughIhaveonlyonebuttocktorideon，andweshallreachCadiz。"
　　InthesameinntherewasaBenedictinefriar，whoboughtthehorseverycheap。Candide，Cunegonde，andtheoldwoman，afterpassingthroughLucina，Chellas，andLetrixa，arrivedatlengthatCadiz。
　　Afleetwasthengettingready，andtroopswereassemblinginordertoinducethereverendfathers，JesuitsofParaguay，whowereaccusedofhavingexcitedoneoftheIndiantribesintheneighborhoodofthetownoftheHolySacrament，torevoltagainsttheKingsofSpainandPortugal。
　　Candide，havingbeenintheBulgarianservice，performedthemilitaryexerciseofthatnationbeforethegeneralofthislittlearmywithsointrepidanair，andwithsuchagilityandexpedition，thathereceivedthecommandofacompanyoffoot。Beingnowmadeacaptain，heembarkedwithMissCunegonde，theoldwoman，twovalets，andthetwoAndalusianhorses，whichhadbelongedtotheGrandInquisitorofPortugal。
　　DuringtheirvoyagetheyamusedthemselveswithmanyprofoundreasoningsonpoorPangloss’sphilosophy。
　　"Wearenowgoingintoanotherworld，andsurelyitmustbetherethateverythingisforthebest;forImustconfessthatwehavehadsomelittlereasontocomplainofwhatpassesinours，bothastothephysicalandmoralpart。ThoughIhaveasincereloveforyou"，saidMissCunegonde，"yetIstillshudderatthereflectionofwhatIhaveseenandexperienced。"
　　"Allwillbewell"，repliedCandide，"theseaofthisnewworldisalreadybetterthanourEuropeanseas：itissmoother，andthewindsblowmoreregularly。"
　　"Godgrantit"，saidCunegonde，"butIhavemetwithsuchterribletreatmentinthisworldthatIhavealmostlostallhopesofabetterone。"
　　"Whatmurmuringandcomplainingishereindeed！"criedtheoldwoman。"IfyouhadsufferedhalfwhatIhave，theremightbesomereasonforit。"
　　MissCunegondecouldscarcerefrainfromlaughingatthegoodoldwoman，andthoughtitdrollenoughtopretendtoagreatershareofmisfortunesthanherown。
　　"Alas！mygooddame"，saidshe，"unlessyouhadbeenravishedbytwoBulgarians，hadreceivedtwodeepwoundsinyourbelly，hadseentwoofyourowncastlesdemolished，hadlosttwofathers，andtwomothers，andseenbothofthembarbarouslymurderedbeforeyoureyes，andtosumupall，hadtwoloverswhippedatanauto-da-fe，IcannotseehowyoucouldbemoreunfortunatethanI。Addtothis，thoughbornabaroness，andbearingseventy-twoquarterings，Ihavebeenreducedtothestationofacook-wench。"
　　"Miss"，repliedtheoldwoman，"youdonotknowmyfamilyasyet;butifI
　　weretoshowyoumyposteriors，youwouldnottalkinthismanner，butsuspendyourjudgment。"ThisspeechraisedahighcuriosityinCandideandCunegonde;andtheoldwomancontinuedasfollows。
　　chapter11CHAPTERXI
　　THEHISTORYOFTHEOLDWOMAN
　　Ihavenotalwaysbeenblear-eyed。Mynosedidnotalwaystouchmychin;
　　norwasIalwaysaservant。YoumustknowthatIamthedaughterofPopeUrbanX，andofthePrincessofPalestrina。TotheageoffourteenIwasbroughtupinacastle，comparedwithwhichallthecastlesoftheGermanbaronswouldnothavebeenfitforstabling，andoneofmyrobeswouldhaveboughthalftheprovinceofWestphalia。Igrewup，andimprovedinbeauty，wit，andeverygracefulaccomplishment;andinthemidstofpleasures，homage，andthehighestexpectations。Ialreadybegantoinspirethemenwithlove。Mybreastbegantotakeitsrightform，andsuchabreast！white，firm，andformedlikethatoftheVenusde’Medici;myeyebrowswereasblackasjet，andasformyeyes，theydartedflamesandeclipsedthelusterofthestars，asIwastoldbythepoetsofourpartoftheworld。Mymaids，whentheydressedandundressedme，usedtofallintoanecstasyinviewingmebeforeandbehind;andallthemenlongedtobeintheirplaces。
　　"IwascontractedinmarriagetoasovereignprinceofMassaCarrara。Suchaprince！ashandsomeasmyself，sweet-tempered，agreeable，witty，andinlovewithmeoverheadandears。Ilovedhim，too，asoursexgenerallydoforthefirsttime，withrapture，transport，andidolatry。
　　Thenuptialswerepreparedwithsurprisingpompandmagnificence;theceremonywasattendedwithfeasts，carousals，andburlesques：allItalycomposedsonnetsinmypraise，thoughnotoneofthemwastolerable。
　　"Iwasonthepointofreachingthesummitofbliss，whenanoldmarchioness，whohadbeenmistresstothePrince，myhusband，invitedhimtodrinkchocolate。Inlessthantwohoursafterhereturnedfromthevisit，hediedofmostterribleconvulsions。