TheunfailingRansomelightedthebinnacle-
lampsandglided,allshadowy,uptome。
"Willyougodownandtrytoeatsomething,sir?"hesuggested。
Hislowvoicestartledme。Ihadbeenstandinglookingoutovertherail,sayingnothing,feelingnothing,noteventhewearinessofmylimbs,over-
comebytheevilspell。
"Ransome,"Iaskedabruptly,"howlonghaveI
beenondeck?Iamlosingthenotionoftime。"
"Twelvedays,sir,"hesaid,"andit’sjustafortnightsincewelefttheanchorage。"
Hisequablevoicesoundedmournfulsomehow。
Hewaitedabit,thenadded:"It’sthefirsttimethatitlooksasifweweretohavesomerain。"
Inoticedthenthebroadshadowonthehorizon,extinguishingthelowstarscompletely,whilethoseoverhead,whenIlookedup,seemedtoshinedownonusthroughaveilofsmoke。
Howitgotthere,howithadcreptupsohigh,I
couldn’tsay。Ithadanominousappearance。Theairdidnotstir。AtarenewedinvitationfromRansomeIdidgodownintothecabinto——inhisownwords——"tryandeatsomething。"Idon’tknowthatthetrialwasverysuccessful。Isup-
poseatthatperiodIdidexistonfoodintheusualway;butthememoryisnowthatinthosedayslifewassustainedoninvincibleanguish,asasortofinfernalstimulantexcitingandconsumingatthesametime。
It’stheonlyperiodofmylifeinwhichIat-
temptedtokeepadiary。No,nottheonlyone。
Yearslater,inconditionsofmoralisolation,Ididputdownonpaperthethoughtsandeventsofascoreofdays。Butthiswasthefirsttime。Idon’trememberhowitcameaboutorhowthepocket-
bookandthepencilcameintomyhands。It’sin-
conceivablethatIshouldhavelookedforthemonpurpose。Isupposetheysavedmefromthecrazytrickoftalkingtomyself。
Strangelyenough,inbothcasesItooktothatsortofthingincircumstancesinwhichIdidnotex-
pect,incolloquialphrase,"tocomeoutofit。"
NeithercouldIexpecttherecordtooutlastme。
Thisshowsthatitwaspurelyapersonalneedforintimatereliefandnotacallofegotism。
HereImustgiveanothersampleofit,afewde-
tachedlines,nowlookingveryghostlytomyowneyes,outofthepartscribbledthatveryevening:
***
"Thereissomethinggoingonintheskylikeadecomposition;likeacorruptionoftheair,whichremainsasstillasever。Afterall,mereclouds,whichmayormaynotholdwindorrain。
Strangethatitshouldtroublemeso。Ifeelasifallmysinshadfoundmeout。ButIsupposethetroubleisthattheshipisstilllyingmotionless,notundercommand;andthatIhavenothingtodotokeepmyimaginationfromrunningwildamongstthedisastrousimagesoftheworstthatmaybefallus。What’sgoingtohappen?Probablynothing。
Oranything。Itmaybeafurioussquallcoming,buttendforemost。Andondecktherearefivemenwiththevitalityandthestrength,ofsay,two。
Wemayhavealloursailsblownaway。EverystitchofcanvashasbeenonhersincewebrokegroundatthemouthoftheMei-nam,fifteendaysago……orfifteencenturies。Itseemstomethatallmylifebeforethatmomentousdayisin-
finitelyremote,afadingmemoryoflight-heartedyouth,somethingontheothersideofashadow。
Yes,sailsmayverywellbeblownaway。Andthatwouldbelikeadeathsentenceonthemen。Wehaven’tstrengthenoughonboardtobendanothersuit;incrediblethought,butitistrue。Orwemayevengetdismasted。Shipshavebeendismastedinsquallssimplybecausetheyweren’thandledquickenough,andwehavenopowertowhirltheyardsaround。It’slikebeingboundhandandfootpre-
paratorytohavingone’sthroatcut。AndwhatappalsmemostofallisthatIshrinkfromgoingondecktofaceit。It’sduetotheship,it’sduetothemenwhoarethereondeck——someofthem,readytoputoutthelastremnantoftheirstrengthatawordfromme。AndIamshrinkingfromit。Fromthemerevision。Myfirstcommand。NowI
understandthatstrangesenseofinsecurityinmypast。IalwayssuspectedthatImightbenogood。
Andhereisproofpositive。Iamshirkingit。I
amnogood。"
***
Atthatmoment,or,perhaps,themomentafter,IbecameawareofRansomestandinginthecabin。
Somethinginhisexpressionstartledme。IthadameaningwhichIcouldnotmakeout。Iexclaimed:
"Somebody’sdead。"
Itwashisturnthentolookstartled。
"Dead?NotthatIknowof,sir。Ihavebeenintheforecastleonlytenminutesagoandtherewasnodeadmantherethen。"
"Youdidgivemeascare,"Isaid。
Hisvoicewasextremelypleasanttolistento。
HeexplainedthathehadcomedownbelowtocloseMr。Burns’portincaseitshouldcomeontorain。
"HedidnotknowthatIwasinthecabin,"headded。
"Howdoesitlookoutside?"Iaskedhim。
"Veryblack,indeed,sir。Thereissomethinginitforcertain。"
"Inwhatquarter?"
"Allround,sir。"
Irepeatedidly:"Allround。Forcertain,"withmyelbowsonthetable。
Ransomelingeredinthecabinasifhehadsome-
thingtodothere,buthesitatedaboutdoingit。I
saidsuddenly:
"YouthinkIoughttobeondeck?"
Heansweredatoncebutwithoutanyparticularemphasisoraccent:"Ido,sir。"
Igottomyfeetbriskly,andhemadewayformetogoout。AsIpassedthroughthelobbyIheardMr。Burns’voicesaying:
"Shutthedoorofmyroom,willyou,steward?"
AndRansome’srathersurprised:"Certainly,sir。"
Ithoughtthatallmyfeelingshadbeendulledintocompleteindifference。ButIfounditastry-
ingasevertobeondeck。Theimpenetrableblack-
nessbesettheshipsoclosethatitseemedthatbythrustingone’shandoverthesideonecouldtouchsomeunearthlysubstance。Therewasinitaneffectofinconceivableterrorandofinexpressiblemystery。Thefewstarsoverheadshedadimlightupontheshipalone,withnogleamsofanykinduponthewater,indetachedshaftspiercinganat-
mospherewhichhadturnedtosoot。Itwassome-
thingIhadneverseenbefore,givingnohintofthedirectionfromwhichanychangewouldcome,theclosinginofamenacefromallsides。
Therewasstillnomanatthehelm。Theim-
mobilityofallthingswasperfect。Iftheairhadturnedblack,thesea,forallIknew,mighthaveturnedsolid。Itwasnogoodlookinginanydi-
rection,watchingforanysign,speculatinguponthenearnessofthemoment。Whenthetimecametheblacknesswouldoverwhelmsilentlythebitofstarlightfallingupontheship,andtheendofallthingswouldcomewithoutasigh,stir,ormurmurofanykind,andallourheartswouldceasetobeatlikerun-downclocks。
Itwasimpossibletoshakeoffthatsenseoffinality。Thequietnessthatcameovermewaslikeaforetasteofannihilation。Itgavemeasortofcomfort,asthoughmysoulhadbecomesuddenlyreconciledtoaneternityofblindstillness。
Theseaman’sinstinctalonesurvivedwholeinmymoraldissolution。Idescendedtheladdertothequarter-deck。Thestarlightseemedtodieoutbeforereachingthatspot,butwhenIaskedquietly:"Areyouthere,men?"myeyesmadeoutshadowformsstartinguparoundme,veryfew,veryindistinct;andavoicespoke:"Allhere,sir。"
Anotheramendedanxiously:
"Allthatareanygoodforanything,sir。"
Bothvoiceswereveryquietandunringing;with-
outanyspecialcharacterofreadinessordiscour-
agement。Verymatter-of-factvoices。
"Wemusttrytohaulthismainsailcloseup,"Isaid。
Theshadowsswayedawayfrommewithoutaword。Thosemenweretheghostsofthemselves,andtheirweightonaropecouldbenomorethantheweightofabunchofghosts。Indeed,ifeverasailwashauledupbysheerspiritualstrengthitmusthavebeenthatsail,for,properlyspeaking,therewasnotmuscleenoughforthetaskinthewholeshipletalonethemiserablelotofusondeck。
Ofcourse,Itooktheleadintheworkmyself。
Theywanderedfeeblyaftermefromropetorope,stumblingandpanting。TheytoiledlikeTitans。
Wewerehalf-an-houratitatleast,andallthetimetheblackuniversemadenosound。Whenthelastleech-linewasmadefast,myeyes,accustomedtothedarkness,madeouttheshapesofexhaustedmendroopingovertherails,collapsedonhatches。
Onehungovertheafter-capstan,sobbingforbreath,andIstoodamongstthemlikeatowerofstrength,impervioustodiseaseandfeelingonlythesicknessofmysoul。Iwaitedforsometimefight-
ingagainsttheweightofmysins,againstmysenseofunworthiness,andthenIsaid:
"Now,men,we’llgoaftandsquarethemainyard。
That’saboutallwecandofortheship;andfortherestshemusttakeherchance。"
part2-6
ChapterVI
ASWEallwentupitoccurredtomethatthereoughttobeamanatthehelm。Iraisedmyvoicenotmuchaboveawhisper,and,noiselessly,anun-
complainingspiritinafever-wastedbodyappearedinthelightaft,theheadwithholloweyesillumi-
natedagainsttheblacknesswhichhadswallowedupourworld——andtheuniverse。Thebaredfore-
armextendedovertheupperspokesseemedtoshinewithalightofitsown。
Imurmuredtothatluminousappearance:
"Keepthehelmrightamidships。"
Itansweredinatoneofpatientsuffering:
"Rightamidships,sir。"
ThenIdescendedtothequarter-deck。Itwasimpossibletotellwhencetheblowwouldcome。Tolookroundtheshipwastolookintoabottomless,blackpit。Theeyelostitselfininconceivabledepths。
Iwantedtoascertainwhethertheropeshadbeenpickedupoffthedeck。Onecouldonlydothatbyfeelingwithone’sfeet。InmycautiousprogressI
cameagainstamaninwhomIrecognizedRansome。Hepossessedanunimpairedphysicalsoliditywhichwasmanifesttomeatthecontact。
Hewasleaningagainstthequarter-deckcapstanandkeptsilent。Itwaslikearevelation。HewasthecollapsedfiguresobbingforbreathIhadno-
ticedbeforewewentonthepoop。
"Youhavebeenhelpingwiththemainsail!"I
exclaimedinalowtone。
"Yes,sir,"soundedhisquietvoice。
"Man!Whatwereyouthinkingof?Youmustn’tdothatsortofthing。"
Afterapauseheassented:"IsupposeI
mustn’t。"Thenafteranothershortsilenceheadded:"Iamallrightnow,"quickly,betweenthetell-talegasps。
Icouldneitherhearnorseeanybodyelse;butwhenIspokeup,answeringsadmurmursfilledthequarter-deck,anditsshadowsseemedtoshifthereandthere。Iorderedallthehalyardslaiddownondeckclearforrunning。
"I’llseetothat,sir,"volunteeredRansomeinhisnatural,pleasanttone,whichcomfortedoneandarousedone’scompassion,too,somehow。
Thatmanoughttohavebeeninhisbed,resting,andmyplaindutywastosendhimthere。Butperhapshewouldnothaveobeyedme;Ihadnotthestrengthofmindtotry。AllIsaidwas:
"Goaboutitquietly,Ransome。"
ReturningonthepoopIapproachedGambril。
Hisface,setwithhollowshadowsinthelight,lookedawful,finallysilenced。Iaskedhimhowhefelt,buthardlyexpectedananswer。There-
fore,Iwasastonishedathiscomparativeloquac-
ity。
"Themshakesleavesmeasweakasakitten,sir,"hesaid,preservingfinelythatairofuncon-
sciousnessastoanythingbuthisbusinessahelms-
manshouldneverlose。"AndbeforeIcanpickupmystrengththattherehotfitcomesalongandknocksmeoveragain。"
Hesighed。Therewasnoreproachinhistone,butthebarewordswereenoughtogivemeahor-
riblepangofself-reproach。Itheldmedumbforatime。WhenthetormentingsensationhadpassedoffIasked:
"Doyoufeelstrongenoughtopreventtherud-
dertakingchargeifshegetssternwayonher?Itwouldn’tdotogetsomethingsmashedaboutthesteering-gearnow。We’veenoughdifficultiestocopewithasitis。"
Heansweredwithjustashadeofwearinessthathewasstrongenoughtohangon。Hecouldpromisemethatsheshouldn’ttakethewheeloutofhishands。Morehecouldn’tsay。
AtthatmomentRansomeappearedquiteclosetome,steppingoutofthedarknessintovisibilitysuddenly,asifjustcreatedwithhiscomposedfaceandpleasantvoice。
Everyropeondeck,hesaid,waslaiddownclearforrunning,asfarasonecouldmakecertainbyfeeling。Itwasimpossibletoseeanything。
Frenchyhadstationedhimselfforward。Hesaidhehadajumportwoleftinhimyet。
Hereafaintsmilealteredforaninstanttheclear,firmdesignofRansome’slips。Withhisseriousclear,grayeyes,hisserenetemperament——
hewasapricelessmanaltogether。Soulasfirmasthemusclesofhisbody。
Hewastheonlymanonboard(exceptme,butI
hadtopreservemylibertyofmovement)whohadasufficiencyofmuscularstrengthtotrustto。ForamomentIthoughtIhadbetteraskhimtotakethewheel。Butthedreadfulknowledgeoftheenemyhehadtocarryabouthimmademehesi-
tate。Inmyignoranceofphysiologyitoccurredtomethathemightdiesuddenly,fromexcitement,atacriticalmoment。
Whilethisgruesomefearrestrainedthereadywordsonthetipofmytongue,Ransomesteppedbacktwopacesandvanishedfrommysight。
Atonceanuneasinesspossessedme,asifsomesupporthadbeenwithdrawn。Imovedforward,too,outsidethecircleoflight,intothedarknessthatstoodinfrontofmelikeawall。InonestrideIpenetratedit。Suchmusthavebeenthedark-
nessbeforecreation。Ithadclosedbehindme。I
knewIwasinvisibletothemanatthehelm。
NeithercouldIseeanything。Hewasalone,Iwasalone,everymanwasalonewherehestood。Andeveryformwasgone,too,spar,sail,fittings,rails;
everythingwasblottedoutinthedreadfulsmooth-
nessofthatabsolutenight。
Aflashoflightningwouldhavebeenarelief——I
meanphysically。Iwouldhaveprayedforitifithadn’tbeenformyshrinkingapprehensionofthethunder。InthetensionofsilenceIwassufferingfromitseemedtomethatthefirstcrashmustturnmeintodust。
Andthunderwas,mostlikely,whatwouldhap-
pennext。Stiffalloverandhardlybreathing,Iwaitedwithahorriblystrainedexpectation。
Nothinghappened。Itwasmaddening,butadull,growingacheinthelowerpartofmyfacemademeawarethatIhadbeengrindingmyteethmadlyenough,forGodknowshowlong。
It’sextraordinaryIshouldnothaveheardmy-
selfdoingit;butIhadn’t。ByaneffortwhichabsorbedallmyfacultiesImanagedtokeepmyjawstill。Itrequiredmuchattention,andwhilethusengagedIbecamebotheredbycurious,ir-
regularsoundsoffainttappingonthedeck。Theycouldbeheardsingle,inpairs,ingroups。WhileIwonderedatthismysteriousdevilry,Ireceivedaslightblowunderthelefteyeandfeltanenor-
moustearrundownmycheek。Raindrops。
Enormous。Forerunnersofsomething。
Tap。Tap。Tap……
Iturnedabout,and,addressingGambrelearnestly,entreatedhimto"hangontothewheel。"
ButIcouldhardlyspeakfromemotion。Thefatalmomenthadcome。Iheldmybreath。Thetap-
pinghadstoppedasunexpectedlyasithadbegun,andtherewasarenewedmomentofintolerablesus-
pense;somethinglikeanadditionalturnoftherackingscrew。Idon’tsupposeIwouldhaveeverscreamed,butIremembermyconvictionthattherewasnothingelseforitbuttoscream。
Suddenly——howamItoconveyit?Well,sud-
denlythedarknessturnedintowater。Thisistheonlysuitablefigure。Aheavyshower,adown-
pour,comesalong,makinganoise。Youhearitsapproachonthesea,intheair,too,Iverilybelieve。
Butthiswasdifferent。Withnopreliminarywhisperorrustle,withoutasplash,andevenwith-
outtheghostofimpact,Ibecameinstantaneouslysoakedtotheskin。Notaverydifficultmatter,sinceIwaswearingonlymysleepingsuit。Myhairgotfullofwaterinaninstant,waterstreamedonmyskin,itfilledmynose,myears,myeyes。
InafractionofasecondIswallowedquitealotofit。
AstoGambril,hewasfairlychoked。Hecoughedpitifully,thebrokencoughofasickman;
andIbeheldhimasoneseesafishinanaquariumbythelightofanelectricbulb,anelusive,phos-
phorescentshape。Onlyhedidnotglideaway。
Butsomethingelsehappened。Bothbinnacle-
lampswentout。Isupposethewaterforceditselfintothem,thoughIwouldn’thavethoughtthatpossible,fortheyfittedintothecowlperfectly。
Thelastgleamoflightintheuniversehadgone,pursuedbyalowexclamationofdismayfromGambril。Igropedforhimandseizedhisarm。
Howstartlinglywasteditwas。
"Nevermind,"Isaid。"Youdon’twantthelight。Allyouneedtodoistokeepthewind,whenitcomes,atthebackofyourhead。Youunderstand?"
"Aye,aye,sir……ButIshouldliketohavealight,"headdednervously。
Allthattimetheshiplayassteadyasarock。
Thenoiseofthewaterpouringoffthesailsandspars,flowingoverthebreakofthepoop,hadstoppedshort。Thepoopscuppersgurgledandsobbedforalittlewhilelonger,andthenperfectsilence,joinedtoperfectimmobility,proclaimedtheyetunbrokenspellofourhelplessness,poisedontheedgeofsomeviolentissue,lurkinginthedark。
Istartedforwardrestlessly。Ididnotneedmysighttopacethepoopofmyill-starredfirstcom-
mandwithperfectassurance。Everysquarefootofherdeckswasimpressedindeliblyonmybrain,totheverygrainandknotsoftheplanks。Yet,allofasudden,Ifellcleanoversomething,landingfulllengthonmyhandsandface。
Itwassomethingbigandalive。Notadog——
morelikeasheep,rather。Buttherewerenoanimalsintheship。Howcouldananimal……
ItwasanaddedandfantastichorrorwhichIcouldnotresist。ThehairofmyheadstirredevenasI
pickedmyselfup,awfullyscared;notasamanisscaredwhilehisjudgment,hisreasonstilltrytoresist,butcompletely,boundlessly,and,asitwere,innocentlyscared——likealittlechild。
IcouldseeIt——thatThing!Thedarkness,ofwhichsomuchhadjustturnedintowater,hadthinneddownalittle。ThereItwas!ButIdidnothituponthenotionofMr。Burnsissuingoutofthecompaniononallfourstillheattemptedtostandup,andeventhentheideaofabearcrossedmymindfirst。
HegrowledlikeonewhenIseizedhimroundthebody。Hehadbuttonedhimselfupintoanenor-
mouswinterovercoatofsomewoollymaterial,theweightofwhichwastoomuchforhisreducedstate。
Icouldhardlyfeeltheincrediblythinlathofhisbody,lostwithinthethickstuff,buthisgrowlhaddepthandsubstance:Confoundeddumpshipwithacraven,tiptoeingcrowd。Whycouldn’ttheystampandgowithabrace?Wasn’tthereoneGod-
forsakenlubberinthelotfittoraiseayellonarope?
"Skulking’snogood,sir,"heattackedmedirectly。"Youcan’tslinkpasttheoldmurderousruffian。Itisn’ttheway。Youmustgoforhimboldly——asIdid。Boldnessiswhatyouwant。
Showhimthatyoudon’tcareforanyofhisdamnedtricks。Kickupajollyoldrow。"
"GoodGod,Mr。Burns,"Isaidangrily。
"Whatonearthareyouupto?Whatdoyoumeanbycomingupondeckinthisstate?"
"Justthat!Boldness。Theonlywaytoscaretheoldbullyingrascal。"
Ipushedhim,stillgrowling,againsttherail。
"Holdontoit,"Isaidroughly。Ididnotknowwhattodowithhim。Ilefthiminahurry,togotoGambril,whohadcalledfaintlythathebelievedtherewassomewindaloft。Indeed,myownearshadcaughtafeebleflutterofwetcanvas,highupoverhead,thejingleofaslackchainsheet……
Thesewereeerie,disturbing,alarmingsoundsinthedeadstillnessoftheairaroundme。AlltheinstancesIhadheardoftopmastsbeingwhippedoutofashipwhiletherewasnotwindenoughonherdecktoblowoutamatchrushedintomymemory。
"Ican’tseetheuppersails,sir,"declaredGambrilshakily。
"Don’tmovethehelm。You’llbeallright,"I
saidconfidently。
Thepoorman’snervesweregone。Minewerenotinmuchbettercase。Itwasthemomentofbreakingstrainandwasrelievedbytheabruptsensationoftheshipmovingforwardasifofher-
selfundermyfeet。Iheardplainlythesoughingofthewindaloft,thelowcracksoftheuppersparstakingthestrain,longbeforeIcouldfeeltheleastdraughtonmyfaceturnedaft,anxiousandsight-
lesslikethefaceofablindman。
Suddenlyalouder-soundingnotefilledourears,thedarknessstartedstreamingagainstourbodies,chillingthemexceedingly。Bothofus,GambrilandI,shiveredviolentlyinourclinging,soakedgarmentsofthincotton。Isaidtohim:
"Youareallrightnow,myman。Allyou’vegottodoistokeepthewindatthebackofyourhead。
Surelyyouareuptothat。Achildcouldsteerthisshipinsmoothwater。"
Hemuttered:"Aye!Ahealthychild。"AndI
feltashamedofhavingbeenpassedoverbythefeverwhichhadbeenpreyingoneveryman’sstrengthbutmine,inorderthatmyremorsemightbethemorebitter,thefeelingofunworthinessmorepoignant,andthesenseofresponsibilityheaviertobear。
Theshiphadgatheredgreatwayonheralmostatonceonthecalmwater。Ifeltherslippingthroughitwithnoothernoisebutamysteriousrustlealongside。Otherwise,shehadnomotionatall,neitherliftnorroll。Itwasadishearteningsteadinesswhichhadlastedforeighteendaysnow;fornever,neverhadwehadwindenoughinthattimetoraisetheslightestrunofthesea。Thebreezefreshenedsuddenly。IthoughtitwashightimetogetMr。Burnsoffthedeck。Heworriedme。Ilookeduponhimasalunaticwhowouldbeverylikelytostartroamingovertheshipandbreakalimborfalloverboard。
IwastrulygladtofindhehadremainedholdingonwhereIhadlefthim,sensiblyenough。Hewas,however,mutteringtohimselfominously。
Thiswasdiscouraging。Iremarkedinamatter-
of-facttone:
"Wehaveneverhadsomuchwindasthissincewelefttheroads。"
"There’ssomeheartinit,too,"hegrowledjudiciously。Itwasaremarkofaperfectlysaneseaman。Butheaddedimmediately:"ItwasabouttimeIshouldcomeondeck。I’vebeennursingmystrengthforthis——justforthis。Doyouseeit,sir?"
IsaidIdid,andproceededtohintthatitwouldbeadvisableforhimtogobelownowandtakearest。
Hisanswerwasanindignant"Gobelow!NotifIknowit,sir。"
Verycheerful!Hewasahorriblenuisance。Andallatoncehestartedtoargue。Icouldfeelhiscrazyexcitementinthedark。
"Youdon’tknowhowtogoaboutit,sir。Howcouldyou?Allthiswhisperingandtiptoeingisnogood。Youcan’thopetoslinkpastacunning,wide-awake,evilbrutelikehewas。Youneverheardhimtalk。Enoughtomakeyourhairstandonend。No!No!Hewasn’tmad。HewasnomoremadthanIam。Hewasjustdownrightwicked。Wickedsoastofrightenmostpeople。I
willtellyouwhathewas。Hewasnothinglessthanathiefandamurdereratheart。Anddoyouthinkhe’sanydifferentnowbecausehe’sdead?
Nothe!Hiscarcassliesahundredfathomunder,buthe’sjustthesame……inlatitude8d20’
north。"
Hesnorteddefiantly。Inotedwithwearyresig-
nationthatthebreezehadgotlighterwhileheraved。Hewasatitagain。
"Ioughttohavethrownthebeggaroutoftheshipovertheraillikeadog。Itwasonlyonac-
countofthemen……FancyhavingtoreadtheBurialServiceoverabrutelikethat!……’Ourdepartedbrother’……Icouldhavelaughed。
Thatwaswhathecouldn’tbear。IsupposeIamtheonlymanthateverstooduptolaughathim。
Whenhegotsickitusedtoscarethat……
brother……Brother……Departed……Soonercallasharkbrother。"
Thebreezehadletgososuddenlythatthewayoftheshipbroughtthewetsailsheavilyagainstthemast。Thespellofdeadlystillnesshadcaughtusupagain。Thereseemedtobenoescape。
"Hallo!"exclaimedMr。Burnsinastartledvoice。"Calmagain!"
Iaddressedhimasthoughhehadbeensane。
"Thisisthesortofthingwe’vebeenhavingforseventeendays,Mr。Burns,"Isaidwithintensebitterness。"Apuff,thenacalm,andinamo-
ment,you’llsee,she’llbeswingingonherheelwithherheadawayfromhercoursetothedevilsome-
where。"
Hecaughtattheword。"TheolddodgingDevil,"hescreamedpiercinglyandburstintosuchaloudlaughasIhadneverheardbefore。Itwasaprovoking,mockingpeal,withahair-raising,screechingover-noteofdefiance。Isteppedback,utterlyconfounded。
Instantlytherewasastironthequarter-deck;
murmursofdismay。Adistressedvoicecriedoutinthedarkbelowus:"Who’sthatgonecrazy,now?"
Perhapstheythoughtitwastheircaptain?
Rushisnotthewordthatcouldbeappliedtotheutmostspeedthepoorfellowswereupto;butinanamazingshorttimeeverymanintheshipabletowalkuprighthadfoundhiswayontothatpoop。
Ishoutedtothem:"It’sthemate。Layholdofhimacoupleofyou……"
Iexpectedthisperformancetoendinaghastlysortoffight。ButMr。Burnscuthisderisivescreechingdeadshortandturneduponthemfiercely,yelling:
"Aha!Dog-goneye!You’vefoundyourtongues——haveye?Ithoughtyouweredumb。
Well,then——laugh!Laugh——Itellyou。Nowthen——alltogether。One,two,three——laugh!"
Amomentofsilenceensued,ofsilencesopro-
foundthatyoucouldhaveheardapindroponthedeck。ThenRansome’sunperturbedvoiceutteredpleasantlythewords:
"Ithinkhehasfainted,sir——"Thelittlemotionlessknotofmenstirred,withlowmurmursofrelief。"I’vegothimunderthearms。Getholdofhislegs,someone。"
Yes。Itwasarelief。Hewassilencedforatime——foratime。Icouldnothavestoodanotherpealofthatinsanescreeching。Iwassureofit;
andjustthenGambril,theaustereGambril,treatedustoanothervocalperformance。Hebegantosingoutforrelief。Hisvoicewailedpitifullyinthedarkness:"Comeaftsomebody!Ican’tstandthis。Hereshe’llbeoffagaindirectlyandI
can’t……"
IdashedaftmyselfmeetingonmywayahardgustofwindwhoseapproachGambril’searhaddetectedfromafarandwhichfilledthesailsonthemaininaseriesofmuffledreportsmingledwiththelowplaintofthespars。IwasjustintimetoseizethewheelwhileFrenchywhohadfollowedmecaughtupthecollapsingGambril。Hehauledhimoutoftheway,admonishedhimtoliestillwherehewas,andthensteppeduptorelieveme,askingcalmly:
"HowamItosteerher,sir?"
"Deadbeforeitforthepresent。I’llgetyoualightinamoment。"
ButgoingforwardImetRansomebringingupthesparebinnaclelamp。Thatmannoticedeverything,attendedtoeverything,shedcomfortaroundhimashemoved。Ashepassedmehere-
markedinasoothingtonethatthestarswerecom-
ingout。Theywere。Thebreezewassweepingclearthesootysky,breakingthroughtheindolentsilenceofthesea。
Thebarrierofawfulstillnesswhichhadencom-
passedusforsomanydaysasthoughwehadbeenaccursed,wasbroken。Ifeltthat。Iletmyselffallontotheskylightseat。Afaintwhiteridgeoffoam,thin,verythin,brokealongside。Thefirstforages——forages。Icouldhavecheered,ifithadn’tbeenforthesenseofguiltwhichclungtoallmythoughtssecretly。Ransomestoodbeforeme。
"Whataboutthemate,"Iaskedanxiously。
"Stillunconscious?"
"Well,sir——it’sfunny,"Ransomewasevidentlypuzzled。"Hehasn’tspokenaword,andhiseyesareshut。Butitlookstomemorelikesoundsleepthananythingelse。"
Iacceptedthisviewastheleasttroublesomeofany,oratanyrate,leastdisturbing。Deadfaintordeepslumber,Mr。Burnshadtobelefttohim-
selfforthepresent。Ransomeremarkedsud-
denly:
"Ibelieveyouwantacoat,sir。"
"IbelieveIdo,"Isighedout。
ButIdidnotmove。WhatIfeltIwantedwerenewlimbs。Myarmsandlegsseemedutterlyuse-
less,fairlywornout。Theydidn’tevenache。ButIstoodupallthesametoputonthecoatwhenRansomebroughtitup。Andwhenhesuggestedthathehadbetternow"takeGambrilforward,"I
said:
"Allright。I’llhelpyoutogethimdownonthemaindeck。"
IfoundthatIwasquiteabletohelp,too。WeraisedGambrilupbetweenus。Hetriedtohelphimselfalonglikeamanbutallthetimehewasin-
quiringpiteously:
"Youwon’tletmegowhenwecometothelad-
der?Youwon’tletmegowhenwecometotheladder?"
Thebreezekeptonfresheningandblewtrue,truetoahair。Atdaylightbycarefulmanipula-
tionofthehelmwegottheforeyardstorunsquarebythemselves(thewaterkeepingsmooth)andthenwentabouthaulingtheropestight。OfthefourmenIhadwithmeatnight,Icouldseenowonlytwo。Ididn’tinquireastotheothers。Theyhadgivenin。ForatimeonlyIhoped。
Ourvarioustasksforwardoccupiedusforhours,thetwomenwithmemovedsoslowandhadtorestsooften。Oneofthemremarkedthat"everyblamedthingintheshipfeltaboutahundredtimesheavierthanitsproperweight。"Thiswastheonlycomplaintuttered。Idon’tknowwhatweshouldhavedonewithoutRansome。Heworkedwithus,silent,too,withalittlesmilefrozenonhislips。FromtimetotimeImurmuredtohim:
"Gosteady"——"Takeiteasy,Ransome"——andre-
ceivedaquickglanceinreply。
Whenwehaddoneallwecoulddotomakethingssafe,hedisappearedintohisgalley。Sometimeafterward,goingforwardforalookround,I
caughtsightofhimthroughtheopendoor。Hesatuprightonthelockerinfrontofthestove,withhisheadleaningbackagainstthebulkhead。Hiseyeswereclosed;hiscapablehandsheldopenthefrontofhisthincottonshirtbaringtragicallyhispowerfulchest,whichheavedinpainfulandlabouredgasps。Hedidn’thearme。
IretreatedquietlyandwentstraightontothepooptorelieveFrenchy,whobythattimewasbe-
ginningtolookverysick。Hegavemethecoursewithgreatformalityandtriedtogooffwithajauntystep,butreeledwidelytwicebeforegettingoutofmysight。
AndthenIremainedallaloneaft,steeringmyship,whichranbeforethewindwithabuoyantliftnowandthen,andevenrollingalittle。PresentlyRansomeappearedbeforemewithatray。Thesightoffoodmademeravenousallatonce。HetookthewheelwhileIsatdownoftheaftergratingtoeatmybreakfast。
"Thisbreezeseemstohavedoneforourcrowd,"
hemurmured。"Itjustlaidthemlow——allhands。"
"Yes,"Isaid。"IsupposeyouandIaretheonlytwofitmenintheship。"
"Frenchysaysthere’sstillajumpleftinhim。I
don’tknow。Itcan’tbemuch,"continuedRan-
somewithhiswistfulsmile。Goodlittlemanthat。
Butsuppose,sir,thatthiswindfliesroundwhenweareclosetotheland——whatarewegoingtodowithher?"
"Ifthewindshiftsroundheavilyafterwecloseinwiththelandshewilleitherrunashoreorgetdismastedorboth。Wewon’tbeabletodoany-
thingwithher。She’srunningawaywithusnow。
Allwecandoistosteerher。She’sashipwithoutacrew。"
"Yes。Alllaidlow,"repeatedRansomequietly。
"Idogivethemalook-inforwardeverynowandthen,butit’spreciouslittleIcandoforthem。"
"I,andtheship,andeveryoneonboardofher,areverymuchindebtedtoyou,Ransome,"Isaidwarmly。
Hemadeasthoughhehadnotheardme,andsteeredinsilencetillIwasreadytorelievehim。Hesurrenderedthewheel,pickedupthetray,andforapartingshotinformedmethatMr。Burnswasawakeandseemedtohaveamindtocomeupondeck。
"Idon’tknowhowtopreventhim,sir。Ican’tverywellstopdownbelowallthetime。"
Itwasclearthathecouldn’t。AndsureenoughMr。Burnscameondeckdragginghimselfpainfullyaftinhisenormousovercoat。Ibeheldhimwithanaturaldread。TohavehimaroundandravingaboutthewilesofadeadmanwhileIhadtosteerawildlyrushingshipfullofdyingmenwasaratherdreadfulprospect。
Buthisfirstremarkswerequitesensibleinmean-
ingandtone。Apparentlyhehadnorecollectionofthenightscene。Andifhehadhedidn’tbetrayhimselfonce。Neitherdidhetalkverymuch。Hesatontheskylightlookingdesperatelyillatfirst,butthatstrongbreeze,beforewhichthelastrem-
nantofmycrewhadwilteddown,seemedtoblowafreshstockofvigourintohisframewitheverygust。
Onecouldalmostseetheprocess。
BywayofsanitytestIalludedonpurposetothelatecaptain。IwasdelightedtofindthatMr。
Burnsdidnotdisplayundueinterestinthesub-
ject。Heranovertheoldtaleofthatsavageruffian’siniquitieswithacertainvindictivegustoandthenconcludedunexpectedly:
"Idobelieve,sir,thathisbrainbegantogoayearormorebeforehedied。"
Awonderfulrecovery。Icouldhardlyspareitasmuchadmirationasitdeserved,forIhadtogiveallmymindtothesteering。
Incomparisonwiththehopelesslanguouroftheprecedingdaysthiswasdizzyspeed。Tworidgesoffoamstreamedfromtheship’sbows;thewindsanginastrenuousnotewhichunderothercir-
cumstanceswouldhaveexpressedtomeallthejoyoflife。Wheneverthehauled-upmainsailstartedtryingtoslatandbangitselftopiecesinitsgear,Mr。Burnswouldlookatmeapprehensively。
"Whatwouldyouhavemetodo,Mr。Burns?
Wecanneitherfurlitnorsetit。Ionlywishtheoldthingwouldthrashitselftopiecesandbedonewithit。Thatbeastlyracketconfusesme。"
Mr。Burnswrunghishands,andcriedoutsud-
denly:
"Howwillyougettheshipintoharbour,sir,withoutmentohandleher?"
AndIcouldn’ttellhim。
Well——itdidgetdoneaboutfortyhoursafter-
ward。BytheexorcisingvirtueofMr。Burns’
awfullaugh,themaliciousspectrehadbeenlaid,theevilspellbroken,thecurseremoved。WewerenowinthehandsofakindandenergeticProvi-
dence。Itwasrushinguson……
Ishallneverforgetthelastnight,dark,windy,andstarry。Isteered。Mr。Burns,afterhavingobtainedfrommeasolemnpromisetogivehimakickifanythinghappened,wentfranklytosleeponthedeckclosetothebinnacle。Convalescentsneedsleep。Ransome,hisbackproppedagainstthemizzen-mastandablanketoverhislegs,re-
mainedperfectlystill,butIdon’tsupposeheclosedhiseyesforamoment。Thatembodimentofjauntiness,Frenchy,stillunderthedelusionthattherewasa"jump"leftinhim,hadinsistedonjoiningus;butmindfulofdiscipline,hadlaidhim-
selfdownasfarontheforepartofthepoopashecouldget,alongsidethebucket-rack。
AndIsteered,tootiredforanxiety,tootiredforconnectedthought。Ihadmomentsofgrimex-
ultationandthenmyheartwouldsinkawfullyatthethoughtofthatforecastleattheotherendofthedarkdeck,fulloffever-strickenmen——someofthemdying。Bymyfault。Butnevermind。
Remorsemustwait。Ihadtosteer。
Inthesmallhoursthebreezeweakened,thenfailedaltogether。Aboutfiveitreturned,gentleenough,enablingustoheadfortheroadstead。
DaybreakfoundMr。Burnssittingwedgedupwithcoilsofropeonthestern-grating,andfromthedepthsofhisovercoatsteeringtheshipwithverywhitebonyhands;whileRansomeandIrushedalongthedeckslettinggoallthesheetsandhal-
liardsbytherun。Wedashednextupontotheforecastlehead。Theperspirationoflabourandsheernervousnesssimplypouredoffourheadsaswetoiledtogettheanchorscock-billed。IdarednotlookatRansomeasweworkedsidebyside。
Weexchangedcurtwords;IcouldhearhimpantingclosetomeandIavoidedturningmyeyeshiswayforfearofseeinghimfalldownandexpireintheactofputtingforthhisstrength——forwhat?In-
deedforsomedistinctideal。
Theconsummateseamaninhimwasaroused。
Heneedednodirections。Heknewwhattodo。
Everyeffort,everymovementwasanactofcon-
sistentheroism。Itwasnotformetolookatamanthusinspired。
AtlastallwasreadyandIheardhimsay:
"Hadn’tIbettergodownandopenthecompressorsnow,sir?"
"Yes。Do,"Isaid。
AndeventhenIdidnotglancehisway。Afteratimehisvoicecameupfromthemaindeck。
"Whenyoulike,sir。Allclearonthewindlasshere。"
ImadeasigntoMr。Burnstoputthehelmdownandletbothanchorsgooneafteranother,leavingtheshiptotakeasmuchcableasshewanted。Shetookthebestpartofthembothbe-
foreshebroughtup。Theloosesailscomingabackceasedtheirmaddeningracketabovemyhead。A
perfectstillnessreignedintheship。AndwhileI
stoodforwardfeelingalittlegiddyinthatsuddenpeace,Icaughtfaintlyamoanortwoandthein-
coherentmutteringsofthesickintheforecastle。
Aswehadasignalformedicalassistanceflyingonthemizzenitisafactthatbeforetheshipwasfairlyatrestthreesteamlaunchesfromvariousmen-of-warwerealongside;andatleastfivenavalsurgeonshadclamberedonboard。Theystoodinaknotgazingupanddowntheemptymaindeck,thenlookedaloft——wherenotamancouldbeseen,either。
Iwenttowardthem——asolitaryfigure,inablueandgraystripedsleepingsuitandapipe-clayedcorkhelmetonitshead。Theirdisgustwasextreme。
Theyhadexpectedsurgicalcases。Eachonehadbroughthiscarvingtoolswithhim。Buttheysoongotovertheirlittledisappointment。Inlessthanfiveminutesoneofthesteamlauncheswasrushingshorewardtoorderabigboatandsomehospitalpeoplefortheremovalofthecrew。Thebigsteampinnacewentofftohershiptobringoverafewbluejacketstofurlmysailsforme。
Oneofthesurgeonshadremainedonboard。Hecameoutoftheforecastlelookingimpenetrable,andnoticedmyinquiringgaze。
"There’snobodydeadinthere,ifthat’swhatyouwanttoknow,"hesaiddeliberately。Thenaddedinatoneofwonder:"Thewholecrew!"
"Andverybad?"
"Andverybad,"herepeated。Hiseyeswereroamingallovertheship。"Heavens!What’sthat?"
"That,"Isaid,glancingaft,"isMr。Burns,mychiefofficer。"
Mr。Burnswithhismoribundheadnoddingonthestalkofhisleanneckwasasightforanyonetoexclaimat。Thesurgeonasked:
"Ishegoingtothehospital,too?"
"Oh,no,"Isaidjocosely。"Mr。Burnscan’tgoonshoretillthemainmastgoes。Iamveryproudofhim。He’smyonlyconvalescent。"
"Youlook——"beganthedoctorstaringatme。
ButIinterruptedhimangrily:
"Iamnotill。"
"No……Youlookqueer。"
"Well,yousee,Ihavebeenseventeendaysondeck。"
"Seventeen!……Butyoumusthaveslept。"
"IsupposeImusthave。Idon’tknow。ButI’mcertainthatIdidn’tsleepforthelastfortyhours。"
"Phew!……YouwillbegoingashorepresentlyIsuppose?"
"AssoonaseverIcan。There’snoendofbusinesswaitingformethere。"
Thesurgeonreleasedmyhand,whichhehadtakenwhilewetalked,pulledouthispocket-book,wroteinitrapidly,toreoutthepageandofferedittome。
"Istronglyadviseyoutogetthisprescriptionmadeupforyourselfashore。UnlessIammuchmistakenyouwillneeditthisevening。"
"Whatisit,then?"Iaskedwithsuspicion。
"Sleepingdraught,"answeredthesurgeoncurtly;andmovingwithanairofinteresttowardMr。Burnsheengagedhiminconversation。
AsIwentbelowtodresstogoashore,Ransomefollowedme。Hebeggedmypardon;hewished,too,tobesentashoreandpaidoff。
Ilookedathiminsurprise。Hewaswaitingformyanswerwithanairofanxiety。
"Youdon’tmeantoleavetheship!"Icriedout。
"Idoreally,sir。Iwanttogoandbequietsome-
where。Anywhere。Thehospitalwilldo。"
"But,Ransome,"Isaid。"Ihatetheideaofpartingwithyou。"
"Imustgo,"hebrokein。"Ihavearight!"……Hegaspedandalookofalmostsavagede-
terminationpassedoverhisface。Foraninstanthewasanotherbeing。AndIsawundertheworthandthecomelinessofthemanthehumblerealityofthings。Lifewasaboontohim——thisprecarioushardlife,andhewasthoroughlyalarmedabouthimself。
"OfcourseIshallpayyouoffifyouwishit,"I
hastenedtosay。"OnlyImustaskyoutoremainonboardtillthisafternoon。Ican’tleaveMr。
Burnsabsolutelybyhimselfintheshipforhours。"
Hesoftenedatonceandassuredmewithasmileandinhisnaturalpleasantvoicethatheunder-
stoodthatverywell。
WhenIreturnedondeckeverythingwasreadyfortheremovalofthemen。Itwasthelastordealofthatepisodewhichhadbeenmaturingandtem-
peringmycharacter——thoughIdidnotknowit。
Itwasawful。Theypassedundermyeyesoneafteranother——eachofthemanembodiedreproachofthebitterestkind,tillIfeltasortofrevoltwakeupinme。PoorFrenchyhadgonesuddenlyunder。
Hewascarriedpastmeinsensible,hiscomicfacehorriblyflushedandasifswollen,breathingstertorously。HelookedmorelikeMr。Punchthanever;adisgracefullyintoxicatedMr。Punch。
TheaustereGambril,onthecontrary,hadim-
provedtemporarily。Heinsistedonwalkingonhisownfeettotherail——ofcoursewithassistanceoneachsideofhim。Buthegavewaytoasuddenpanicatthemomentofbeingswungoverthesideandbegantowailpitifully:
"Don’tletthemdropme,sir。Don’tletthemdropme,sir!"WhileIkeptonshoutingtohiminmostsoothingaccents:"Allright,Gambril。
Theywon’t!Theywon’t!"
Itwasnodoubtveryridiculous。Theblue-
jacketsonourdeckweregrinningquietly,whileevenRansomehimself(muchtotheforeinlendingahand)hadtoenlargehiswistfulsmileforafleet-
ingmoment。
Ileftfortheshoreinthesteampinnace,andonlookingbackbeheldMr。Burnsactuallystandingupbythetaffrail,stillinhisenormouswoollyover-
coat。Thebrightsunlightbroughtouthisweird-
nessamazingly。Helookedlikeafrightfulandelaboratescarecrowsetuponthepoopofadeath-
strickenship,setuptokeeptheseabirdsfromthecorpses。
Ourstoryhadgotaboutalreadyintownandeverybodyonshorewasmostkind。TheMarineOfficeletmeofftheportdues,andastherehap-
penedtobeashipwreckedcrewstayingintheHomeIhadnodifficultyinobtainingasmanymenasIwanted。ButwhenIinquiredifIcouldseeCaptainEllisforamomentIwastoldinaccentsofpityformyignorancethatourdeputy-NeptunehadretiredandgonehomeonapensionaboutthreeweeksafterIlefttheport。SoIsupposethatmyappointmentwasthelastact,outsidethedailyroutine,ofhisofficiallife。
ItisstrangehowoncomingashoreIwasstruckbythespringystep,thelivelyeyes,thestrongvitalityofeveryoneImet。Itimpressedmeenormously。AndamongstthoseImettherewasCaptainGiles,ofcourse。ItwouldhavebeenveryextraordinaryifIhadnotmethim。Aprolongedstrollinthebusinesspartofthetownwastheregularemploymentofallhismorningswhenhewasashore。
Icaughttheglitterofthegoldwatch-chainacrosshischesteversofaraway。Heradiatedbenevolence。
"WhatisitIhear?"hequeriedwitha"kinduncle"smile,aftershakinghands。"Twenty-onedaysfromBangkok?"
"Isthisallyou’veheard?"Isaid。"Youmustcometotiffinwithme。Iwantyoutoknowex-
actlywhatyouhaveletmeinfor。"
Hehesitatedforalmostaminute。
"Well——Iwill,"hesaidcondescendinglyatlast。
Weturnedintothehotel。Ifoundtomysur-
prisethatIcouldeatquitealot。Thenovertheclearedtable-clothIunfoldedtoCaptainGilesthehistoryofthesetwentydaysinallitsprofessionalandemotionalaspects,whilehesmokedpatientlythebigcigarIhadgivenhim。
Thenheobservedsagely:
"Youmustfeeljollywelltiredbythistime。"
"No,"Isaid。"Nottired。ButI’lltellyou,CaptainGiles,howIfeel。Ifeelold。AndImustbe。Allofyouonshorelooktomejustalotofskittishyoungstersthathaveneverknownacareintheworld。"
Hedidn’tsmile。Helookedinsufferablyex-
emplary。Hedeclared:
"Thatwillpass。Butyoudolookolder——it’safact。"
"Aha!"Isaid。
"No!No!Thetruthisthatonemustnotmaketoomuchofanythinginlife,goodorbad。"
"Liveathalf-speed,"Imurmuredperversely。
"Noteverybodycandothat。"
"You’llbegladenoughpresentlyifyoucankeepgoingevenatthatrate,"heretortedwithhisairofconsciousvirtue。"Andthere’sanotherthing:amanshouldstanduptohisbadluck,tohismis-
takes,tohisconscienceandallthatsortofthing。
Why——whatelsewouldyouhavetofightagainst。"
Ikeptsilent。Idon’tknowwhathesawinmyfacebutheaskedabruptly:
"Why——youaren’tfaint-hearted?"
"Godonlyknows,CaptainGiles,"wasmysin-
cereanswer。
"That’sallright,"hesaidcalmly。"Youwilllearnsoonhownottobefaint-hearted。Amanhasgottolearneverything——andthat’swhatsomanyofthemyoungstersdon’tunderstand。"
"Well,Iamnolongerayoungster。"
"No,"heconceded。"Areyouleavingsoon?"
"Iamgoingonboarddirectly,"Isaid。"Ishallpickuponeofmyanchorsandheaveintohalf-
cableontheotherdirectlymynewcrewcomesonboardandIshallbeoffatdaylightto-morrow!"
"Youwill,"gruntedCaptainGilesapprovingly。
"that’stheway。You’lldo。"
"Whatdidyouthink?ThatIwouldwanttotakeaweekashoreforarest?"Isaid,irritatedbyhistone。"There’snorestformetillshe’soutintheIndianOceanandnotmuchofiteventhen。"
Hepuffedathiscigarmoodily,asiftransformed。
"Yes。That’swhatitamountsto,"hesaidinamusingtone。ItwasasifaponderouscurtainhadrolledupdisclosinganunexpectedCaptainGiles。
Butitwasonlyforamoment,justthetimetolethimadd,"Preciouslittlerestinlifeforanybody。
Betternotthinkofit。"
Werose,leftthehotel,andpartedfromeachotherinthestreetwithawarmhandshake,justashebegantointerestmeforthefirsttimeinourintercourse。
ThefirstthingIsawwhenIgotbacktotheshipwasRansomeonthequarter-decksittingquietlyonhisneatlylashedsea-chest。
IbeckonedhimtofollowmeintothesaloonwhereIsatdowntowritealetterofrecommenda-
tionforhimtoamanIknewonshore。
WhenfinishedIpusheditacrossthetable。"Itmaybeofsomegoodtoyouwhenyouleavethehospital。"
Hetookit,putitinhispocket。Hiseyeswerelookingawayfromme——nowhere。Hisfacewasanxiouslyset。
"Howareyoufeelingnow?"Iasked。
"Idon’tfeelbadnow,sir,"heansweredstiffly。
"ButIamafraidofitscomingon……"Thewistfulsmilecamebackonhislipsforamo-
ment。"I——Iaminabluefunkaboutmyheart,sir。"
Iapproachedhimwithextendedhand。Hiseyesnotlookingatmehadastrainedexpres-
sion。Hewaslikeamanlisteningforawarningcall。
"Won’tyoushakehands,Ransome?"Isaidgently。
Heexclaimed,flushedupduskyred,gavemyhandahardwrench——andnextmoment,leftaloneinthecabin,Ilistenedtohimgoingupthecom-
panionstairscautiously,stepbystep,inmortalfearofstartingintosuddenangerourcommonenemyitwashishardfatetocarryconsciouslywithinhisfaithfulbreast。