Col。Starbottle(whohasbeenregardinginterviewwithvisiblescornanddisgust,advancingtoOAKHURST)。Youwill——er——pardonmeif,underthe——er——circumstances,Iwithdrawfromthis——er——
  disgracefulproceeding。Thecondonation,bythatman,oftwoofthemosttremendousoffencestosocietyandtothecode,withoutapologyorsatisfaction,Ged,sir,is——er——er——ofitselfaninsulttothespectator。Igo,sir——
  Oakhurst。But,Col。Starbottle——
  Starbottle。Permitmetosay,sir,thatIholdmyselfforthis,sir,responsible,sir,——personallyresponsible。
  [ExitSTARBOTTLE,glancingfuriouslyatSANDY,whosinksonsofalaughing。
  Oakhurst(aside)。Hewillchangehismindinhalfanhour。But,inthemeantime,timeisprecious。(Aloud。)Sandy,come!
  Sandy(risingwithalacrity)。Yes,Jack,I’mready。
  Oakhurst。Wearegoing(slowlyandsolemnly)——wearegoingtoseeyourfather。
  Sandy(droppingbackwithbashfulembarrassment,andstrugglingtoreleasehisarmfromOAKHURST)。No,Jack!Notjustyet,Jack;inalittlewhile,oleboy!inaboutsixmonths,ormebbe——ayear,Jack!notnow,notnow!Iain’tfeelin’exactlywell,Jack,——I
  ain’t。
  Oakhurst。Nonsense,Sandy!Consideryourdutyandmyhonor。
  Sandy(regaininghisseat)。That’sallverywell,Jack;butyesee,pard,you’veknowntheoldmanfornighonayear,andit’stwenty-fivesinceImethim。No,Jack;youdon’tplayanyolemanontometo-night,Jack。No,youandme’lljustdropoutforapasear。Jack,eh?(TakingOAKHURST’Sarm。)Come!
  Oakhurst。Impossible!Hush!(Listening。)ItisHEpassingthroughthecorridor。(GoestowingR。,andlistens。)
  Sandy(crowdinghastilybehindOAKHURSTinalarm)。But,Isay,Jack!hewon’tcomeinhere?He’sgoin’tobed,youknow。Eh?Itain’trightforamano’hisyears——andhemustbegoin’onninety,Jack——tobeuplikethis。Itain’thealthy。
  Oakhurst。Youknowhimnot。Heseemstoneednorest(sadly)。
  Nightafternight,longaftertheservantsareabed,andthehouseisstill,Ihearthatstepslowlypacingthecorridor。ItisthelastsoundasIclosemyeyes,thefirstchallengeofthemorning。
  Sandy。Theol’scound——(checkinghimself)——Imean,Jack,theol’
  manhassuthin’onhismind。But,Jack(ingreatalarm),hedon’twaltzinuponye,Jack?Hedon’tp’intthemfeetinyer,Jack?Yeain’tgottoputupwiththat,Jack,alongo’yerothertrials?
  Oakhurst。Heoftenseeksmehere。Ah——yes——heiscomingthiswaynow。
  Sandy(inludicrousterror)。Jack,pard,quickIhidemesomewhere,Jack!
  Oakhurst(openingdoorR。)。Inthere,quick!Notasound,asyouvalueyourfuture![ExitSANDYhurriedlyR。
  SCENE2。——Thesame。EnterdoorR。,OLDMORTON,indressing-gown,withcandle。
  OldMorton。Notabedyet,Alexander?Well,well,Idon’tblameyou,mysonithasbeenforyouatrying,tryingnight。Yes,I
  see:likeme,youarealittlenervousandwakeful。(Slowlytakeschair,andcomfortablycomposeshimself。)
  Oakhurst(aside)。Heisinforamidnightgossip。HowshallI
  disposeofSandy?
  OldMorton。Yes(meditatively),——yes,youhaveoverworkedlately。
  Nevermind。Inadayortwomoreyoushallhaveavacation,sir,——
  avacation!
  Oakhurst(aside)。Heknowsnothowtrulyhespeaks。(Aloud。)
  Yes,sir,Iwasstillup。Ihaveonlyjustnowdismissedthepolicemen。
  OldMorton。Ay。Iheardvoices,andsawalightinyourwindow。
  Icametotellyou,Alexander,Capperhasexplainedallabout——
  aboutthedecoy!More;hehastoldmeofyourcourageandyourinvaluableassistance。Foramoment,sir,——Idon’tmindtellingyounowinconfidence,——IdoubtedYOU——
  Oakhurst(infeigneddeprecation)。Oh,sir!
  OldMorton。Onlyforamoment。Youwillfind,Alexander,thateventhatdoubtshallhavefullapologywhentheyearofyourprobationhasexpired。Besides,sir。Iknowall。
  Oakhurst(starting)。All!
  OldMorton。Yes,thestoryabouttheDuchessandyourchild。Youaresurprised。Col。Starbottletoldmeall。Iforgiveyou,Alexander,forthesakeofyourboy。
  Oakhurst。Myboy,sir!
  OldMorton。Yes,yourboy。Andletmetellyou,sir,he’safineyoungfellow。Lookslikeyou,——looksasyoudidwhenYOUwereaboy。He’saMortontoo,everyinchofhim,there’snodenyingthat。No,sir。Youmayhavechanged;buthe——he——isthelivingimageofmylittleAlexander。Hetooktome,too,——liftedhislittlearms——and——and——(Becomesaffected,andleanshisheadinhishands。)
  Oakhurst(rising)。Youarenotwell,sir。Letmeleadyoutoyourroom。
  OldMorton。No!itisnothing:aglassofwater,Alexander!
  Oakhurst(aside)。Heisverypale。Theagitationofthenighthasovercomehim。(GoestotableR。)Alittlespiritswillrevivehim。(Poursfromdecanteringlass,andreturnstoMORTON。)
  OldMorton(afterdrinking)。Therewasspiritsinthatwater,Alexander。Fiveyearsago,Ivowedatyourmother’sgravetoabandontheuseofintoxicatingliquors。
  Oakhurst。Believeme,sir,mymotherwillforgiveyou。
  OldMorton。Doubtless。Ithasrevivedme。Iamgettingtobeanoldman,Aleck。(Holdsouthisglasshalf-unconsciously,andOAKHURSTreplenishesitfromdecanter。)Yes,anoldman,Aleck;
  buttheboy,——ah,Iliveagaininhim。Thelittlerascal!Heaskedme,Aleck,fora"chawtobacker!"andwantedtoknowifIwasthe"ol’duffer。"Ha,ha!Hedid。Ha,ha!Come,come,don’tbedespondent。Iwaslikeyouonce,damnit,——ahem——it’sallforthebest,myboy,allforthebest。I’lltaketheyoungrascal(aside)——damnit,he’salreadytakenme——(aloud)onequalterms。
  There,Aleck,whatdoyousay?
  Oakhurst。Really,sir,thisforbearance,——thiskindness——(aside)I
  seearayoflight。
  OldMorton。Nonsense!I’lltaketheboy,Itellyou,anddowellforhim,——thelittlerascal!——asifhewerethelegalheir。But,I
  say,Aleck(laughing),ha,ha!——whatabout——ha,ha!——whataboutDonaJovita,eh?andwhataboutDonJoseCastro,eh?Howwilltheladylikeaready-madefamily,eh?(PokingOAKHURSTintheribs。)
  WhatwilltheDonsaytothefamilysuccession?Ha,ha!
  Oakhurst(proudly)。Really,sir,Icarebutlittle。
  OldMorton(aside)。Oh,ho!I’llsoundhim。(Aloud。)Lookye,Alexander,IhavegivenmywordtoyouandDonJoseCastro,andI’llkeepit。Butifyoucandoanybetter,eh——if——eh?——theschoolma’am’samightyprettygirlandabrightone,eh,Aleck?
  Andit’sallinthefamily——eh?Andshethinkswellofyou;andI
  willsay,foragirlbroughtupasshe’sbeen,andknowin’yourrelationswiththeDuchessandtheboy,tosayakindwordforye,Aleck,isagoodsign,——youfollowme,Aleck,——ifyouthink——why,oldDonJosemightwhistleforason-in-law,eh?
  Oakhurst(interruptingindignantly)。Sir!(Aside。)Stop!
  (Aloud。)Doyoumeantosay,sir,thatifIshouldconsenttothis——suggestion——that,iftheladywerewilling,YOUwouldoffernoimpediment?
  OldMorton。Impediment,mydearboy!youshouldhavemyblessing。
  Oakhurst。Pardonmeamoment。Youhaveinthelastyear,sir,taughtmetheimportanceofbusinessformalityinalltherelationsoflife。Followingthatidea,theconditionsofmyengagementwithJovitaCastroweredrawnupwithyourhand。Areyouwillingtomakethisrecantationasformal,thisnewcontractasbusinesslikeandvalid?
  OldMorton(eagerly)。Iam。
  Oakhurst。Thensithere,andwriteatmydictation。(PointingtotableL。OLDMORTONtakesseatattable。)"InviewoftheevidentpreferencesofmysonAlexanderMorton,andofcertainfamilyinterests,IherebyrevokemyconsenttohismarriagewiththeDonaJovitaCastro,andaccordhimfullpermissiontowooandwinhiscousin,MissMaryMorris,promisinghimthesameaidandassistancepreviouslyofferedinhissuitwithMissCastro。"
  OldMorton(signing)。AlexanderMorton,sen。There,Aleck!Youhaveforgottenonelegalformality。Wehavenowitness。Ha,ha!
  Oakhurst(significantly)。Iwillbeasufficientwitness。
  OldMorton。Ha,ha!(Fillsglassfromdecanter,afterwhichOAKHURSTquietlyremovesdecanterbeyondhisreach。)Verygood!
  Aleck,I’vebeenthinkingofaplan,——I’vebeenthinkingofretiringfromthebank。I’mgettingold,andmywaysarenotthepopularwaysofbusinesshere。I’vebeenthinkingofyou,youdog,——ofleavingthebanktoyou,——toyou,sir,eh——theday——thedayyoumarrytheschoolma’am——eh。I’llstayhomeandtakecareoftheboy——eh——hic!Thelittlerascal!——liftedhisarmstome——did,Aleck!byGod!(Incoherently。)Eh!
  Oakhurst。Hush!(Aside。)Sandywilloverhearhim,andappear。
  OldMorton(greatlyaffectedbyliquor。)Hush!eh!——ofcourse——
  shoo!shoo!(TheactorwillhereendeavortoreproduceinOLD
  MORTON’Sdrunkenbehavior,withoutexactlyimitatinghim,thegeneralcharacteristicsofhisson’sintoxication。)Eh!——Isay,Aleck,oldboy!whatwilltheDonsay?eh?Ha,ha,ha!AndJovita,thatfirebrand,howwillshe——hic——likeit,eh?(Laughsimmoderately。)
  Oakhurst。Hush!Wewillbeoverheard!Theservants,sir!
  OldMorton。Damntheservants!Don’tI——hic——paythemwages——eh?
  Oakhurst。Letmeleadyoutoyourownroom。Youarenervouslyexcited。Alittlerest,sir,willdoyougood。(Takinghisarm。)
  OldMorton。Noshir,noshir,’mnerrergoin’tobedanymore。
  Bed’sbadhabit!——hic——drunkenhabit。Leshstayupallni,Aleck!
  Youandme!Leshnev’r——go——bedanymore!Whar’swhiskey——eh?
  (StaggerstothetablefordecanterasOAKHURSTseizeshim,struggleupstage,andthenOLDMORTON,instruggle,fallshelplesslyonsofa,insameattitudeasSANDYwasdiscovered。)
  EnterSANDYcautiouslyfromdoorL。
  Sandy(toOAKHURST)。Jack!Eh,Jack——
  Oakhurst。Hush!Go!Iwillfollowyouinamoment。(PusheshimbacktodoorL。)
  Sandy(catchingsightofOLDMORTON)。Hallo!What’sup?
  Oakhurst。Nothing。Hewasovertakenwithasuddenfaintness。Hewillrevivepresently:go!
  Sandy(hesitating)。Isay,Jack,hewasn’ttakensickalongo’me,eh,Jack?
  Oakhurst。No!No!Butgo(pushinghimtowarddoor)。
  Sandy。Holdon:I’mgoing。But,Jack,I’vegotakindoffaintnessyer,too。(Goestoside-table,andtakesupdecanter。)
  Andthar’snothingreachesthatfaintnesslikewhiskey。(Fillsglass。)OldMorton(drunkenlyandhalf-consciouslyfromcouch)。
  Whiskey——whoshed——whiskey——eh?Eh——O——gimmesome,Aleck——Aleck,myson,——myson!——myoldprodigal——OldProddy,myboy——gimme——
  whiskey——(sings)——
  Oh,yer’syergoodoldwhiskey,Drinkitdown!
  Eh?Icom——mandyou,——passthewhiskey!
  SANDY,atfirstpanic-stricken,andthenremorsefullyconscious,throwsglassdown,withgestureoffearandloathing。OAKHURST
  advancestohissidehurriedly。
  Oakhurst(inhurriedwhisper)。Givehimthewhiskey,quick!Itwillkeephimquiet。(IsabouttotakedecanterwhenSANDYseizesit:strugglewithOAKHURST。)
  Sandy(withfeeling)。No,no,Jack,no!(Suddenlywithgreatstrengthanddetermination,breaksfromhim,andthrowsdecanterfromwindow。)No,NEVER!
  OldMorton(strugglingdrunkenlytohisfeet)。Eh——whosh’dnever?
  (OAKHURSTshovesSANDYinroomL。,andfollowshim,closingdoor。)
  Eh,Aleck?(Groping。)Eh,where’shlight?Allgone。(Lapsesonsofaagain,afteranineffectualstruggletogetup,andthenresumeshisoldattitude。)
  (Changescenequickly。)
  SCENE3。——Ante-roominMR。MORTON’Svilla。Frontscene。EnterDON
  JOSECASTROandCONCHO,precededbySERVANT,L。
  Servant。Thisway,gentlemen。
  DonJose。CarrythiscardtoAlexanderMorton,sen。
  Servant。Begpardon,sir,butthere’sonlyonenamehere,sir(lookingatCONCHO)。
  DonJose(proudly)。Thatismyservant,sir。[ExitSERVANT。
  DonJose(aside)。Idon’thalflikethisbusiness。Butmymoneylockedupinhisbank,andmydaughter’shandboundtohisson,demandit。(Aloud。)Thisisnochild’splay,Concho,youunderstand。
  Concho。Ah!Iamwise。Believeme,ifIhavenotproofswhichshallblanchthecheekofthisoldman,Iamafool,DonJose!
  Re-enterSERVANT。
  Servant。Mr。Morton,sen。,passedabadnight,andhasleftwordnottobedisturbedthismorning。ButMr。Morton,jun。,willattendyou,sir。
  Concho(aside)。Sotheimpostorwillfaceitout。Well,lethimcome。
  DonJose(toSERVANT)Iwaithispleasure。[ExitSERVANT。
  DonJose。Youhear,Concho?Youshallfacethisman。Ishallrepeattohimallyouhavetoldme。Ifyoufailtomakegoodyourcharge,onyourheadreststheconsequences。
  Concho。Hewillofcoursedeny。Heisadesperateman:hewillperhapsattackme。Eh!Ah!(Drawingrevolver。)
  DonJose。Putupyourfoolishweapon。Thesightofthefatherhehasdeceivedwillbemoreterribletohimthanthepistolofthespy。
  EnterCOL。STARBOTTLE,C。
  Starbottle。Mr。AlexanderMorton,Jun。,willbewithyouinamoment。(Takesattitudebydoor,putshishandinhisbreast,andinflateshimself。)
  Concho(toDONJOSE,aside)。Itisthebullyinglawyer。Theywilltrytooutfaceus,mypatron;butweshalltriumph。(Aloud。)Hecomes,eh!——Mr。AlexanderMorton,gentlemen!Iwillshowyouacheat,animpostor!
  Enter,incorrect,precisemorningdress,SANDYMORTON。Thereisinhismake-upandmannerasuggestionofthefather。
  Concho(recoiling,aside)。Diego!Therealson。(Aloud,furiously。)Itisatricktodefeatjustice,——eh!——amiserabletrick!Butitshallfail,itshallfail!
  Col。Starbottle。Permitme,amoment,——asinglemoment。(ToConcho。)Youhave——er——er——characterizedmyintroductionofthis——
  er——gentlemanasa"cheat"andan"imposture。"AreyoupreparedtodenythatthisisAlexanderMorton?
  DonJose(astonished,aside)。TheseAmericanosareoftheDevil!
  (Aloudandsternly。)Answerhim,Concho,Icommandyou。
  Concho(inhalf-insanerage)。ItisAlexanderMorton;butitisatrick,——acowardlytrick!Whereistheotherimpostor,thisMr。
  JohnOakhurst?
  Sandy(advancingwithdignityandsomethingofhisfather’scoldmanner)。Hewillanswerforhimself,whencalledfor。(ToDON
  JOSE。)Youhaveaskedforme,sir:mayIinquireyourbusiness?
  Concho。Eh!Itisatrick,——atrick!
  DonJose(toCONCHO)。Silence,sir!(ToSANDY,withdignity。)I
  knownotthemeaningofthismasquerade。IonlyknowthatyouareNOTthegentlemanhithertoknowntomeasthesonofAlexanderMorton。Iamhere,sir,todemandmyrightsasamanofpropertyandafather。IhavereceivedthismorningacheckfromthehouseofMorton&Son,fortheamountofmydepositwiththem。Sofar——
  inviewofthiscomplication——itiswell。Whoknows?Bueno!ButthesignatureofMorton&SontothecheckisnotinthehandwritingIhaveknown。Lookatit,sir。(ToSANDY,handingcheck。)
  Sandy(examiningcheck)。Itismyhandwriting,sir,andwassignedthismorning。Hasitbeenrefused?
  DonJose。Pardonme,sir。Ithasnotbeenpresented。Withthisdoubtinmymind,Ipreferredtosubmititfirsttoyou。
  Starbottle。Amoment,asinglemoment,sir。Whileasa——er——
  gentlemanandamanofhonor,I——er——appreciateyourmotives,permitmetosay,sir,asalawyer,thatyourvisitispremature。
  Onthetestimonyofyourownwitness,theidentificationofMr。
  AlexanderMorton,jun。,is——er——complete;hehasadmittedthesignatureashisown;youhavenotyetpresentedthechecktothebank。
  DonJose。Pardonme,Col。Starbottle。Itisnotall。(ToSANDY。)
  ByawrittenagreementwithAlexanderMorton,sen。,thehandofmydaughterispromisedtohisson,whonowstandsbeforeme,asmyformerservant,dismissedfrommyservicefordrunkenness。
  Sandy。Thatagreementisrevoked。
  DonJose。Revoked!
  Sandy(handingpaper)。Castyoureyesoverthatpaper。AtleastyouwillrecognizeTHATsignature。
  DonJose(reads)。"Inviewoftheevidentpreferencesofmyson,AlexanderMorton,andofcertainfamilyinterests,IherebyrevokemyconsenttohismarriagewiththeDonaJovitaCastro,andaccordhimfullpermissiontowooandwinhiscousin,MissMaryMorris;
  promisinghimthesameaidandassistancepreviouslyofferedinhissuitwithMissCastro。——ALEXANDERMORTON,SEN。"
  Concho。Ah!Carramba!Doyounotseethetrick,——eh,theconspiracy?Itwasthisman,asDiego,yourdaughter’sgroom,helpedhisfriendMr。Oakhursttotheheiress。Ah,youcomprehend!
  Itwasanoldtrick!Youshallsee,youshallsee!Ah!Iamwise,Iamwise!
  DonJose(aside)。CouldIhavebeendeceived?Butno!ThispaperthatreleasesHIMgivestheimpostornoclaim。
  Sandy(resuminghisoldeasymanner,droppinghisformality,andplacinghishandonDONJOSE’Sshoulder)。Lookyar,oleman:I
  didn’tallowtoeverseeyeagin,andthisyerain’tnoneo’MY
  seekin’。But,sinceyerhere,Idon’tmindtellin’yethatbutformethatgalofyourswouldhaverunawayayearago,andmarriedanunknownlover。AndIdon’tmindadding,that,hedIknownthatunknownloverwasmyfriendJohnOakhurst,I’dhavehelpedherdoit。(Going。)Good-morning,DonJose。
  DonJose。Insolent!Ishallexpectanaccountforthisfromyour——
  father,sir。
  Sandy。Adios,DonJose。[ExitC。
  Concho。Itisatrick——Itoldyou。Ah,Iamwise。(GoingtoDON
  JOSE。)
  DonJose(throwinghimoff)。Fool![ExitDONJOSE。
  Concho(infuriated)。Eh!Foolyourself——dotard!Nomatter:I
  willexposeall——ah!IwillseeJovita;——Iwillrevengemyselfonthisimpostor!(Isabouttofollow,whenCOL。STARBOTTLEleaveshispositionbythedoor,andtouchesCONCHOontheshoulder。)
  Starbottle。Excuseme。
  Concho。Eh?
  Starbottle。Youhaveforgottensomething。
  Conhho。Something?
  Starbottle。Anapology,sir。Youweregoodenoughtoexpress——er——
  incredulity——whenIpresentedMr。Morton:youwerekindenoughtocharacterizetheconductofmyer——principalby——anepithet。Youhavealludedtome,sir,——ME——
  Concho(wrathfully)。Bully!(Aside。)Ihaveheardthatthispomposo,thisbraggart,isaYankeetricktoo;thathehasthefrontofalion,theliverofthechicken。(Aloud。)Yes,Ihavesaid,youhearIhavesaid,I,Concho(strikinghisbreast),havesaidyouarea——bully!
  Starbottle(coolly)。Thenyouarepreparedtogivemesatisfaction,sir,——personalsatisfaction。
  Concho(raging)。Yes,sir,now——youunderstand,now(takingoutpistol),anywhere,here!Yes,here。Ah!youstart,——yes,hereandnow!Facetoface,youunderstand,withoutseconds,——facetoface。
  So。(Presentingpistol。)
  Starbottle(quietly)。Permitmeto——er——apologize。
  Concho。Ah!Itistoolate!
  Starbottle(interrupting)。Excuseme,butIfearedyouwouldnothonormesocompletelyandsatisfactorily。Ged,sir,Ibegintorespectyou!Iaccedetoallyourpropositionsoftimeandposition。Thepistolyouholdinyourhandisaderringer,I
  presume,loaded。Ah——er——Iamright。TheoneInowproduce(showingpistol)is——er——asyouwillperceivethesamesizeandpattern,and——er——unloaded。Wewillplacethemboth,so,undertheclothofthistable。Youshalldrawonepistol,Iwilltaketheother。Iwillputthatclockattenminutestonine,whenwewilltakeourpositionsacrossthistable;asyou——er——happilyexpressit,"facetoface。"Astheclockstrikesthehour,wewillfireonthesecondstroke。
  Concho(aside)。Itisatrick,aYankeetrick!(Aloud。)Iamready。Now——atonce!
  Starbottle(gravely)。Permitme,sir,tothankyou。Yourconduct,sir,remindsmeofsingularincident——
  Concho(angrilyinterrupting)。Come,come!Itisnochild’splay。
  Wehavemuchofthistalk,eh!Itisaction,eh,youcomprehend,——
  action。
  STARBOTTLEplacespistolsunderthecloth,andsetsclock。CONCHO
  drawspistolfromcloth;STARBOTTLEtakesremainingpistol。Bothmenassumeposition,presentingtheirweapons;STARBOTTLEpompouslybutseriously,CONCHOangrilyandnervously。)
  Starbottle(afterapause)。Onemoment,asinglemoment——
  Concho。Ah,atrick!Coward!youcannotdestroymyaim。
  Starbottle。Ioverlookthe——er——epithet。Iwishedonlytoask,ifyoushouldbe——er——unfortunate,iftherewasanythingIcouldsaytoyour——er——friends。
  Concho。Youcannotmakethefoolofme,coward。No!
  Starbottle。Myobjectwasonlyprecautionary。Owingtothepositioninwhichyou——er——persistinholdingyourweapon,inalinewithmyrighteye,Iperceivethatarayoflightentersthenipple,and——er——illuminatesthebarrel。Ijudgefromthisthatyouhavebeenunfortunateenoughtodrawthe——er——er——unloadedpistol。
  Concho(tremulouslyloweringweapon)。Eh!Ah!Thisismurder!
  (Dropspistol。)Murder!——eh——help(retreating),help!
  [ExithurriedlydoorC。,asclockstrikes。COL。STARBOTTLElowershispistol,andmoveswithgreatpompositytotheothersideofthetable,takinguppistol。
  Starbottle(examiningpistol)。Ah!(Liftsit,anddischargesit。)
  ItseemsthatIammistaken。(Going。)ThepistolWAS——er——loaded!
  [Exit。
  SCENE4。——Frontscene。Roominvilla。EnterMISSMARYandJOVITA。
  MissMary。Itellyou,youarewrong,youarenotonlymisunderstandingyourlover,whichisawoman’sprivilege,butyouareabusingmycousin,which,ashisrelative,Iwon’tputupwith。
  Jovita(passionately)。Buthearme,MissMary。Itisayearsincewewerebetrothed;andsuchabetrothal!Why,Iwassigned,sealed,anddeliveredtohim,onconditions,asifIwereapartoftherancho;andtheverynight,too,Ihadengagedtorunawaywithhim!AndduringthatyearIhaveseenthegentlemantwice,——yes,twice!
  MissMary。Buthehaswritten?
  Jovita。MotherofGod!Yes,——lettersdeliveredbymyfather,senttoHISCARE,readbyhimfirst,ofcourse;lettershopingthatI
  waswell,andobeyingmyfather’scommands;lettersassuringmeofhisunaltereddevotion;lettersthat,comparedwiththeonesheusedtohideintheconfessionaloftheruinedmissionchurch,wereasicetofire,wereasthatsnow-floweryouvaluesomuch,Mary,tothismariposablossomIwearinmyhair。Andthentothinkthatthisman——thisJohnOakhurst,asIknewhim;thismanwhousedtoridetwentymilesforasmilefrommeonthechurchporch;thisDonJuanwholeapedthatgardenwall(fifteenfeet,Mary,ifitisaninch),andmadeoldConchohisstepping-stone;thisman,whodailyperilleddeathformysake——ischangedintothisformal,methodicalmanofbusiness——is——is——Itellyouthere’saWOMANatthebottomofit!Iknowitsure!
  MissMary(aside)。HowcanItellherabouttheDuchess?Iwon’t!
  (Aloud。)Butlisten,mydearJovita。Youknowheisunderprobationforyou,Jovita。Allthisisforyou。Hisfatheriscold,methodical,unsympathetic。HElooksonlytohisbondwiththisson,——thissonthathetreats,eveninmattersoftheheart,asaBUSINESSpartner。Remember,onhiscompletereformation,andsubjectiontohisfather’swill,dependsyourhand。Remembertheagreement!
  Jovita。Theagreement;yes!Itistheagreement,alwaystheagreement!MaytheDevilflyawaywiththeagreement!Lookyou,MissMary,I,DonaJovita,didn’tfallinlovewithanagreement:
  itwaswithaman!Why,Imighthavemarriedadozenagreements——
  yes,ofashorterlimitationthanthis!(Crossing。)
  MissMary。Yes。Butwhatifyourloverhadfailedtokeepthosepromisesbywhichhewastogainyourhand?whatifhewereamanincapableofself-control?whatifhewere——a——adrunkard?
  Jovita(musing)。Adrunkard!(Aside。)TherewasDiego,hewasadrunkard;buthewasfaithless。(Aloud。)Youmeanaweak,faithlessdrunkard?
  MissMary。No!(Sadly。)Faithlessonlytohimself,butdevoted——
  yes,devotedtoYOU。
  Jovita。MissMary,Ihavefoundthatonebigviceinamanisapttokeepoutagreatmanysmallerones。
  MissMary。Yes;butifhewereaslavetoliquor?
  Jovita。Mydear,Ishouldtrytochangehismistress。Oh,givemeamanthatiscapableofadevotiontoanything,ratherthanacold,calculatingaverageofallthevirtues!
  MissMary(aside)。I,whoaspiretobeherteacher,amonlyherpupil。(Aloud。)Butwhatif,inthisverydrunkenness,thisrecklessness,hehadoncelovedandworshippedanotherwoman?Whatifyoudiscoveredallthisafter——after——hehadwonyourheart?
  Jovita。Ishouldadorehim!Ah,MissMary!Lovediffersfromalltheothercontagiousdiseases:thelasttimeamanisexposedtoit,hetakesitmostreadily,andhasittheworst!Butyou,YOU
  cannotsympathizewithme。Youhavesomelover,theidealofthevirtues;somemanascorrect,aswellregulated,ascalmas——
  yourself;someonewhoaddressesyouinthefixedmoralityandseverepenmanshipofthecopy-books。Hewillneverprecipitatehimselfoveragardenwallorthroughawindow。YourJacobwillwaitforyouthroughsevenyears,andreceiveyoufromthehandsofyourcousinandguardian——asarewardofmerit!No,youcouldnotloveavagabond。
  MissMary(veryslowlyandquietly)。No?
  Jovita。No!(Passionately。)No,itisimpossible。Forgiveme,MissMary:youaregood;abettergirlthanIam。Butthinkofme!
  Ayearagomyloverleapedawallatmidnighttoflywithme:
  today,thedaythatgivesmetohim,hewritesafewcoldlines,sayingthathehasbusiness,BUSINESS——youunderstand——business,andthatheshallnotseemeuntilwemeetinthepresenceof——of——
  of——ourfathers。
  MissMary。Yes;butyouwillseehimatleast,perhapsalone。
  Listen:itisnoformalmeeting,butoneoffestivity。Myguardianhastoldme,inhisquaintscripturalway,itisthekillingofthefattedcalf,overhislong-lostprodigal。Havepatience,littleone。Ah!Jovita,weareofadifferentrace,butweareofonesex;andasawomanIknowhowtoacceptanotherwoman’sabuseofherlover。Come,come![ExeuntMISSMARYandJOVITA。
  SCENE5。——Thedrawing-roomofMR。MORTON’Svilla。Largeopenarchincentre,leadingtoveranda,lookingondistantviewofSanFrancisco;richlyfurnished,——sofas,arm-chairs,andtete-a-tetes。
  EnterCOL。STARBOTTLE,C。,carryingbouquet,precededbySERVANT,bowing。
  Starbottle。TakemykyardtoMissMorris。[ExitSERVANT。
  Starbottle。Star!Thisisthemomentousepochofyourlife!Itisamomentforwhichyou——are——Imaysayaloneresponsible,——
  personallyresponsible!Shewillbenaturallygratifiedbythe——
  er——flowers。ShewillatoncerecognizethisbouquetasadelicatesouvenirofRedGulch,andwillappreciateyourrecollection。Andthefact,thecrushingfact,thatyouhaveoverlookedthe——er——
  ungentlemanlyconductofherOWNcousinSandy,therealAlexanderMorton,thatyouhave——er——assistedtorestoretheex-vaquerotohisrights,will——er——er——atonceopenthedoorto——er——mutualconfidenceand——er——acontinuanceofthat——er——prepossessionIhavealreadynoticed。Ahem!heresheis。
  EnterMISSMARYinfulldress。
  MissMary。Youareearly,Col。Starbottle。Thispromptitudedoeshonortoourpooroccasion。
  Col。Starbottle。Ged,MissMary,promptnesswithaladyandanadversaryisthefirstdutyof——er——gentleman。Iwishedthat——er——
  themorningdewmightstillbe——er——freshintheseflowers。I
  gatheredthemmyself(presentingbouquet)at——er——er——flower-standinthe——er——Californiamarket。
  MissMary(aside)。Flowers!IneedednosuchreminderofpoorSandy。(Aloud。)Ithankyou,colonel。
  Starbattle。Ged,ma’am,Iamrepaiddoubly。Yourconduct,MissMary,remindsmeoflittleincidentthatoccurredatRichmond,in’58。Dinnerparty——cameearly——butobligedtogo——asnow——onimportantbusiness,beforedessert——beforedessert。Ladysatnexttome——beautifulwoman——excusemeifIdon’tmentionnames——saidtome,"Star,"——alwayscalledmeStar,——"Star,youremindmeofthemonthofMay。"——"Ged,madam,"——Isaid,"delighted,proud;butwhy?"——"Because,"shesaid,"youcomeinwiththe——er——oysters。"——
  No!Ged,pardonme——ridiculousmistake!Imean——er——"youcomeinwiththe——er——flowers,andgobeforethe——er——fruits。"
  MissMary。Ah,colonel!Iappreciateherdisappointment。Letushope,however,thatsomedayyoumayfindthathappywomanwhowillbeabletokeepyouthroughthewholedinnerandthewholeseason,untilDecemberandtheices!
  Starbottle。Ged!excellent!Capital!(seriously。)MissMary!
  (Suddenlyinflatinghischest,strikingattitude,andgazingonMISSMARYwithlanguishingeyes。)Thereis——ersuchawoman!
  MissMary(aside)。Whatcanhemean?
  Starbottle(takingseatbesideher)。Allowme,MissMary,afewmomentsofconfidential——er——confidentialdisclosure。To-dayis,asyouareaware——thedayonwhich,accordingto——er——agreementbetweenparties,myfriendandclient,Mr。Morton,sen。,——formallyacceptshisprodigalson。Itismy——er——dutytostatethat——er——
  thegentlemanwhohasforthepastyearoccupiedthatpositionhasbehavedwithgreatdiscretion,and——er——fulfilledhispartofthe——
  er——agreement。Butitwould——er——appearthattherehasbeena——er——
  slightdelusionregardingtheidentityofthatprodigal,——adelusionsharedbyallthepartiesexcept,perhaps,myself。Ihavetoprepareyouforashock。ThegentlemanwhomyouhaverecentlyknownasAlexanderMorton,jun。,isnottheprodigalson;isnotyour——er——cousin;is,infact,norelationtoyou。Prepareyourself,MissMary,foralittledisappointment,——for——er——
  degradation。Thegenuinesonhasbeen——er——discoveredinthepersonof——er——lowmenial——or——vagabond,——"Sandy,"the——er——outcastofRedGulch!
  MissMary(risinginastonishment)。Sandy!Thenhewasright。
  (Aside。)Thechildishis!andthatwoman——
  Starbottle。Composeyourself,MissMary。Iknowthe——er——effectof——er——revelationlikethisupon——er——proudandaristocraticnature。Ged!Myown,Iassureyou,beatsin——er——responsiveindignation。Youcanneverconsenttoremainbeneaththisroof,and——er——receivea——er——vagabondand——er——menialonequalterms。
  The——er——necessitiesofmy——er——professionmay——er——compelme;butyou——er——never!Holdingmyself——er——er——responsibleforhavingintroducedyouhere,itismy——er——dutytoprovideyouwith——
  anotherhome!Itismy——er——dutytoprotect——
  MissMary(aside)。Sandyhere,andbeneaththisroof!Whyhashenotsoughtme?Ah,Iknowtoowell:hedarenotfacemewithhischild!
  Starbottle(aside)。Sheturnsaway!itismaidencoyness。(Aloud。)
  If,MissMary,the——er——devotionofalife-time;ifthe——er——
  chivalrousandrespectfuladorationofaman——er——whoserecordis——er——notunknownintheCourtofHonor(droppingononekneewithexcessivegallantry);ifthe——er——measure——
  MissMary(obliviousofCOL。STARBOTTLE)。IWILL——IMUSTseehim!
  Ah!(lookingL。)heiscoming!
  EnterSANDY。
  Starbottle(risingwithgreatreadinessandtact)。Ihavefoundit(presentingflower)。Ithadfallenbeneaththesofa。
  Sandy(toMISSMARY,stoppingshortinembarrassment)。Ididnotknowyou——I——I——thoughttherewasnoonehere。
  MissMary(toSTARBOTTLE)。MayIaskyoutoexcusemeforamoment?Ihaveafewwordstosayto——tomyCOUSIN!
  STARBOTTLEbowsgallantlytoMISSMARY,andstifflytoSANDY,andexitR。Alongpause;MISSMARYremainsseatedpullingflowers,SANDYremainsstandingbywing,foolishandembarrassed。Business。
  MissMary(impatiently)。Well?
  Sandy(slowly)。Iaxesyourpardon,miss;butyoutoldTHAT
  gentlemanyouhadafewwords——tosaytome。
  MissMary(passionately,aside)。Fool!(Aloud。)Ihad;butIamwaitingtofirstansweryourinquiriesaboutyour——your——child。I
  havefulfilledmytrust,sir。
  Sandy。Youhave,MissMary,andIthankyou。
  MissMary。Imightperhapshaveexpectedthatthisrevelationofourkinshipwouldhavecomefromotherlipsthanastranger’s;but——
  nomatter!Iwishyoujoy,sir,ofyourheritage。(Going。)Youhavefoundahome,sir,atlast,foryourselfand——and——yourchild。
  Good-day,sir。
  Sandy。MissMary!
  MissMary。Imustmakereadytoreceiveyourfather’sguests。Itishisorders:Iamonlyhispoorrelation。Good-by,sir。[ExitL。
  Sandy(watchingher)。Sheisgone!——gone!No!Shehasdroppedonthesofaintheante-room,andiscrying。Crying!IpromisedJackIwouldn’tspeakuntilthetimecame。I’llgoback。(Hesitating,andlookingtowardL。)Poorgirl!Howshemusthateme!Imightjustsayaword,onewordtothankherforherkindnesstoJohnny,——
  onlyoneword,andthengoaway。I——I——cankeepfromliquor。I
  sworeIwouldtoJack,thatnightIsawtheoldman——drunk,——andI
  have。But——Ican’tkeep——from——her!No——damnit!(GoingtowardL。)No!——I’llgo![ExitL。
  EnterhurriedlyandexcitedlyJOVITA,R。,followedbyMANUELA。
  Jovita。Whereisshe?WhereisHE?——thetraitor!
  Manuela(entreatingly)。Composeyourself,DonaJovita,fortheloveofGod!Thisismadness:believeme,thereissomemistake。
  Itissometrickofanenemy,——ofthatingrate,thatcoyote,Concho,whohatestheDonAlexandro。
  Jovita。Atrick!Callyouthisatrick?Lookatthispaper,putintomyhandsbymyfatheramomentago。Readit。Ah!listen。
  (Reads。)"InviewoftheEVIDENTPREFERENCESofmyson,AlexanderMorton,IherebyrevokemyconsenttohismarriagewiththeDonaJovitaCastro,andaccordhimfullpermissiontowooandwinhiscousin,MissMaryMorris!"Callyouthisatrick,eh?No,itistheirperfidy!ThisiswhySHEwasbroughthereontheeveofmybetrothal。Thisaccountsforhissilence,hisabsence。Oh,I
  shallgomad!
  Manuela。Composeyourself,miss。IfIamnotdeceived,thereisoneherewhowillaidus,——whowillexposethisdeceit。Listen:anhourago,asIpassedthroughthehall,IsawDiego,ouroldDiego,——yourfriendandconfidant,Diego。
  Jovita。Thedrunkard——thefaithlessDiego!
  Manuela。Never,MissJovita;notdrunken!For,ashepassedbeforeme,hewasasstraight,asupright,asfineasyourlover。
  Come,miss,wewillseekhim。
  Jovita。Never!He,too,isatraitor。
  Manuela。Believeme,no!Come,MissJovita。(LookingtowardL。)
  See,heisthere。Someoneiswithhim。
  Jovita(looking)。Youareright;anditisshe——SHE,MissMary!
  What?heiskissingherhand!andshe——SHE,thedoubletraitress——
  dropsherheaduponhisshoulder!Oh,thisisinfamy!
  Manuela。Hush!Someoneiscoming。Theguestsarearriving。
  Theymustnotseeyouthus。Thisway,MissJovita,——thisway。
  Afteralittle,alittle,themysterywillbeexplained。(TakingJOVITA’Shand,andleadingherR。)
  Jovita(going)。Andthiswasthecorrectschoolmistress,thepreceptressandexampleofallthevirtues!ha!(laughinghysterically)ha!
  [ExeuntJOVITAandMANUELA。
  SCENE6。——Thesame。EnterSERVANT;opensfoldingdoorsC。,revealingverandaandviewofdistantcitybeyond。Stage,fogeffectfromwithout。EnterSTARBOTTLEandOAKHURST,R。,infulleveningdress。
  Starbottle(walkingtowardsveranda)。Afoggyeveningforouranniversary。
  Oakhurst。Yes。(Aside。)ItwassuchanightasthisIfirststeppedintoSandy’splace,Ifirstmettheoldman。Well,itwillbesoonover。(Aloud。)Youhavethepapersandtransfersallready?
  Starbottle。Inmy——er——pocket。Mr。Morton,sen。,shouldbeheretoreceivehisguests。
  Oakhurst。Hewillbeherepresently:untilthenthedutydevolvesonme。Hehassecludedhimselfevenfromme!(Aside。)Perhapsitisinveryshameforhisrecentweakness。
  EnterSERVANT。
  Servant。DonJoseCastro,MissCastro,andMissMorris。
  EnterDONJOSEwithJOVITAandMISSMARYoneitherarm。AllformallysaluteMR。OAKHURST,exceptMISSJOVITA,whoturnscoldlyaway,takingseatremotelyonsofa。COL。STARBOTTLEgallantlyapproachesMISSMARY,andtakesseatbesideher。
  Oakhurst(aside)。Theyareheretoseemypunishment。Thereisnosympathyeveninhereyes。
  EnterSERVANT。
  Servant。Mr。ConcepcionGarciaandMr。Capper。
  Concho(approachingOAKHURST,rubbinghishands)。Iwishyoujoy,Mr。AlexanderMorton!
  Oakhurst(excitedly,aside)。ShallIthrowhimfromthewindow!
  Thedog!——evenhe!
  Capper(approachingMR。OAKHURST)。Youhavedonewell。Bebold。
  Iwillseeyouthrough。AsforTHATman(pointingtoCONCHO),leavehimtoME!(LayshishandonConcho’sshoulder,andleadshimtosofaR。OAKHURSTtakesseatinchairL。asSANDYentersquietlyfromdoorL。,andstandsleaninguponhischair。)
  Starbottle(rising)。Ladiesandgentlemen,wearewaitingonlyforthepresenceofMr。AlexanderMorton,sen。Iregrettosaythatforthelasttwenty-fourhours——hehasbeen——er——exceedinglypreoccupiedwiththemomentouscaresofthe——er——occasion。Youwhoknowtheausterehabitsofmyfriendand——er——clientwillprobablyunderstandthathemaybeatthisverymomentengagedinprayerfulandChristianmeditation,invokingtheThroneofGrace,previoustothesolemndutiesof——er——er——tonight。
  EnterSERVANT。
  Servant。Mr。AlexanderMorton,sen。
  EnterOLDMORTON,drunk,ineveningcostume,cravatawry,coathalf-buttonedup,andhalf-surly,half-idioticmanner。Allriseinastonishment。SANDYstartsforward。OAKHURSTpullshimback。
  Morton(thickly)。Don’trish!Don’trish!We’llallsitdown!
  Howdoyoudo,sir?Iwishyewell,miss。(Goesaroundandlaboriouslyshakeshandswitheverybody。)Nowleshalltakeadrink!leshyoutakeadrink,andyoutakeadrink,andyoutakeadrink!
  Starbottle。Permitme,ladiesandgentlemen,to——er——explain:ourfriendis——er——evidentlylaboringunder——er——er——accidentofhospitality!Inamomenthewillbehimself。
  OldMorton。Hushup!Dryup——yourself——oldturkey-cock!Eh!
  Sandy(despairingly)。Hewillnotunderstandus!(ToSTARBOTTLE。)
  Hewillnotknowme!Whatistobedone?
  OldMorton。Givemesomewhishkey。Leshalltakeadrink!(EnterSERVANTwithdecanterandglasses。)
  OldMorton(startingforward)。Leshalltakeadrink!
  Sandy。Stop!
  OldMorton(recoveringhimselfslightly)。Whosaysstop?Whodarescountermandmyorderish?
  Concho(comingforward)。Who?Iwilltellyou:eh!eh!Diego——
  dismissedfromtheranchoofDonJosefordrunkenness!Sandy——thevagabondofRedGulch!
  Sandy(passionatelyseizingOLDMORTON’Sarm)。Yes,Diego——Sandy——
  theoutcast——but,Godhelpme!nolongerthedrunkard。Iforbidyoutotouchthatglass!——I,yourson,AlexanderMorton!Yes,lookatme,father:I,withdrunkennessinmyblood,plantedbyyou,fosteredbyyou——Iwhomyousoughttosave——I——Istandheretosaveyou!Go!(ToSERVANT。)Go!Whileheisthus,I——I,ammasterhere!
  OldMorton(cowedandfrightened)。Thatvoice!(Passinghishandoverhisforehead。)AmIdreamingAleck,whereareyou?Alexander,speak,Icommandyou:isthisthetruth?
  Oakhurst(slowly)。Itis!
  Starbottle。Onemoment——asinglemoment:permitmeto——er——er——
  explain。Thegentlemanwhohasjust——er——dismissedtherefreshmentis,tothebestofmylegalknowledge,yourson。Thegentlemanwhoforthepastyearhassoadmirablyfilledthefunctionsofthatofficeis——er——preparedtoadmitthis。Theproofsare——er——
  conclusive。Itiswiththe——er——intentionofofferingthem,and——
  er——returningyourlawfulheir,thatwe——er——arehereto-night。
  OldMorton(risingtohisfeet)。Andrenounceyouboth!Outofmyhouse,outofmysight,outofmyheart,forever!Go!liars,swindlers,confederates!Drunk——
  Oakhurst(retiringslowlywithSANDY)。Wearegoing,sir!
  OldMorton。Go!openthedoorsthereWIDE,wideenoughforsuchabreadthofinfamy!Doyouhearme?Iammasterhere!
  Standserect,asOAKHURSTandSANDY,handinhand,slowlyretreatbackwardtocentre,——thensuddenlyuttersacry,andfallsheavilyonsofa。Bothpause:OAKHURSTremainsquietandmotionless;SANDY,afteramoment’shesitation,rushesforward,andfallsathisfeet。
  Sandy。Father,forgiveme!
  OldMorton(puttinghishandroundSANDY’Sneck,andmotioninghimtodoor)。Go!bothofyou,bothofyou!(ResistingSANDY’S
  attempttorise。)Didyouhearme?Go!
  Starbottle。Permitmeto——explain。Yourconduct,Mr。Morton,remindsmeofsing’larincidentin’47——
  OldMorton。Silence!
  Oakhurst。Oneword,Mr。Morton!ShamedanddisgracedasIam,I
  leavethisroofmoregladlythanIenteredit。HowIcamehere,youbestknow。HowIyieldedmadlytothetemptation,thepromiseofabetterlife;howIfell,throughthehopeofreformation,——nooneshouldknowbetterthanyou,sir,thereformer。Idonotaskyourpardon。YouknowthatIdidmydutytoyouasyourpresumedson。Yourrealsonwillbearwitness,that,fromthehourIknewofhisexistence,Ididmydutyequallytohim。Col。Starbottlehasallthelegaltransfersandpapersnecessarytomaketherestorationofyourson——theintegrityofyourbusinessname——
  complete。ItakenothingoutofthislifethatIdidnotbringinit,——exceptmyself-respect!Igo——asIcame——alone!
  Jovita(rushingtowardshim)。No!no!YoushalltakeME!Ihavewrongedyou,Jack,cruelly;Ihavedoubtedyou;butyoushallnotgoalone。Icarenotforthiscontract!Youaremoretome,byyourownright,Jack,thanbyanykinshipwithsuchasthese!
  Oakhurst(raisinghergently)。Ithankyou,darling。Butitistoolatenow。Tobemoreworthyofyou,towinYOU,IwaivedthetitleIhadtoyouinmyownmanhood,toborrowanother’smorelegalclaim。Iwhowouldnotwinyouasagambler,cannotmakeyounowthewifeofaconvictedimpostor。No!Hearme,darling!donotmakemydisgracegreaterthanitis。Intheyearstocome,Jovita,thinkofmeasonewholovedyouwellenoughtogothroughshametowinyou,buttoowelltoaskyoutosharewithhimthatshame。Farewell,darling,farewell!(ReleaseshimselffromJOVITA’Sarms,whofallsbesidehim。)
  Concho(rubbinghishands,andstandingbeforehim)。Oho!Mr。
  JohnOakhurst——eh——wasitforthis,eh——youleapedthegardenwall,eh?wasitforthisyoustruckmedown,eh?Youarenotwise,eh?
  YoushouldhaverunawaywiththeDonawhenyoucould——ah,ah,impostor!
  Sandy(leapingtohisfeet)。Jack,youshallnotgo!Iwillgowithyou!
  Oakhurst。No!Yourplaceisthere。(PointingtooldMORTON,whoseheadhassunkdrunkenlyonhisbreast。)Heednotthisman;
  histonguecarriesonlytheborrowedlashofhismaster。
  Concho。Eh!youareboldnow——bold;butIsaidIwouldhaverevenge——ah,revenge!
  Sandy(rushingtowardhim)。Coward!
  DonJose。Holdyourhand,sir!Hold!Iallownoonetocorrectmymenialsbutmyself。Concho,ordermycarriage!
  Concho。Itisready,sir。
  DonJose。Thenleadthewaytoit,formydaughterandherhusband,JohnOakhurst。——Good-night,Mr。Morton,Icansympathizewithyou;forwehavebothfoundason。IamwillingtoexchangemydismissedservantforyourdismissedPARTNER。
  Starbottle(advancing)。Ged,sir,Irespectyou!Ged,sir,permitme,sir,tograspthathonorablehand!
  OldMorton(excitedly)。Heisright,mypartner。WhathaveI
  done!ThehouseofMorton&Sondissolved。Themanknownasmypartner——afugitive!No,Alexander!
  Starbottle。Onemoment——asinglemoment!Asalawyer,permitmetosay,sir,thatthewholecomplicationmaybesettled,sir,bythe——er——additionof——er——singleletter!ThehouseofMorton&SonshallhereafterreadMorton&Sons。ThepapersforthelegaladoptionofMr。Oakhurstare——er——inmypocket。
  OldMorton(moresoberly)。Haveityourownway,sir!Morton&
  Sonsbeit。Harkye,DonJose!Weareequalatlast。But——harkye,Aleck!Howabouttheboy,eh?——mygrandson,eh?Isthisoneofthesonsbyadoption?
  Sandy(embarrassedly)。Itismyown,sir。
  Capper(advancing)。Hecanwithsafetyclaimit;forthemotherisonherwaytoAustraliawithherhusband。
  OldMorton。Andtheschoolma’am,eh?
  MissMary。Shewillclaimtheusualyearofprobationforyourprodigal,andthen——
  Sandy。Godblessye,MissMary!
  OldMorton。Iaminadream!Buttheworld——myfriends——mypatrons——howcanIexplain?
  Starbottle。Iwill——er——explain。(Advancingslowlytofront——toaudience。)Onemoment——er——asinglemoment!Ifanythingthathas——
  er——transpiredthisevening——mightseemtoyou,ladiesandgentlemen——er——morallyor——er——legally——orhonorablytorequire——
  er——apology——or——er——explanation——permitmetosay——thatI——Col。
  CulpepperStarbottle,holdmyselfresponsible——er——personallyresponsible。
  Capper。Concho。
  OldMorton。Sandy。MissMary。DonJose。Jovita。Oakhurst。
  Col。Starbottle。
  Curtain。