ExeuntSCENEV。TheForest。EnterAMIENS,JAQUES,andothersSONG。AMIENSUnderthegreenwoodtreeWholovestoliewithme,AndturnhismerrynoteUntothesweetbird’sthroat,Comehither,comehither,comehither:
HereshallheseeNoenemyButwinterandroughweather。JAQUESMore,more,Iprithee,more。AMIENSItwillmakeyoumelancholy,MonsieurJaques。JAQUESIthankit。More,Iprithee,more。Icansuckmelancholyoutofasong,asaweaselsuckseggs。
More,Iprithee,more。AMIENSMyvoiceisragged:IknowIcannotpleaseyou。JAQUESIdonotdesireyoutopleaseme;Idodesireyoutosing。Come,more;anotherstanzo:callyou’emstanzos?AMIENSWhatyouwill,MonsieurJaques。JAQUESNay,Icarenotfortheirnames;theyowemenothing。Willyousing?AMIENSMoreatyourrequestthantopleasemyself。JAQUESWellthen,ifeverIthankanyman,I’llthankyou;
butthattheycallcomplimentisliketheencounteroftwodog-apes,andwhenamanthanksmeheartily,methinksIhavegivenhimapennyandherendersmethebeggarlythanks。Come,sing;andyouthatwillnot,holdyourtongues。AMIENSWell,I’llendthesong。Sirs,coverthewhile;thedukewilldrinkunderthistree。Hehathbeenallthisdaytolookyou。JAQUESAndIhavebeenallthisdaytoavoidhim。Heistoodisputableformycompany:Ithinkofasmanymattersashe,butIgiveheaventhanksandmakenoboastofthem。Come,warble,come。
SONG。
WhodothambitionshunAlltogetherhereAndlovestolivei’thesun,SeekingthefoodheeatsAndpleasedwithwhathegets,Comehither,comehither,comehither:
HereshallheseeNoenemyButwinterandroughweather。JAQUESI’llgiveyouaversetothisnotethatImadeyesterdayindespiteofmyinvention。AMIENSAndI’llsingit。JAQUESThusitgoes:——
IfitdocometopassThatanymanturnass,Leavinghiswealthandease,Astubbornwilltoplease,Ducdame,ducdame,ducdame:
HereshallheseeGrossfoolsashe,Anifhewillcometome。AMIENSWhat’sthat’ducdame’?JAQUES’TisaGreekinvocation,tocallfoolsintoacircle。I’llgosleep,ifIcan;ifIcannot,I’llrailagainstallthefirst-bornofEgypt。AMIENSAndI’llgoseektheduke:hisbanquetisprepared。
ExeuntseverallySCENEVI。Theforest。EnterORLANDOandADAMADAMDearmaster,Icangonofurther。O,I
dieforfood!
HerelieIdown,andmeasureoutmygrave。Farewell,kindmaster。ORLANDOWhy,hownow,Adam!nogreaterheartinthee?Livealittle;comfortalittle;cheerthyselfalittle。
Ifthisuncouthforestyieldanythingsavage,I
willeitherbefoodforitorbringitforfoodtothee。Thyconceitisnearerdeaththanthypowers。
Formysakebecomfortable;holddeathawhileatthearm’send:Iwillherebewiththeepresently;
andifIbringtheenotsomethingtoeat,Iwillgivetheeleavetodie:butifthoudiestbeforeI
come,thouartamockerofmylabour。Wellsaid!
thoulookestcheerly,andI’llbewiththeequickly。
Yetthouliestinthebleakair:come,Iwillbeartheetosomeshelter;andthoushaltnotdieforlackofadinner,ifthereliveanythinginthisdesert。Cheerly,goodAdam!
ExeuntSCENEVII。Theforest。Atablesetout。EnterDUKESENIOR,AMIENS,andLordslikeoutlawsDUKESENIORIthinkhebetransform’dintoabeast;
ForIcannowherefindhimlikeaman。FirstLordMylord,heisbutevennowgonehence:
Herewashemerry,hearingofasong。DUKESENIORIfhe,compactofjars,growmusical,Weshallhaveshortlydiscordinthespheres。
Go,seekhim:tellhimIwouldspeakwithhim。
EnterJAQUESFirstLordHesavesmylabourbyhisownapproach。DUKESENIORWhy,hownow,monsieur!whatalifeisthis,Thatyourpoorfriendsmustwooyourcompany?
What,youlookmerrily!JAQUESAfool,afool!Imetafooli’theforest,Amotleyfool;amiserableworld!
AsIdolivebyfood,ImetafoolWholaidhimdownandbask’dhiminthesun,Andrail’donLadyFortuneingoodterms,Ingoodsettermsandyetamotleyfool。
’Goodmorrow,fool,’quothI。’No,sir,’quothhe,’Callmenotfooltillheavenhathsentmefortune:’
Andthenhedrewadialfromhispoke,And,lookingonitwithlack-lustreeye,Saysverywisely,’Itisteno’clock:
Thuswemaysee,’quothhe,’howtheworldwags:
’Tisbutanhouragosinceitwasnine,Andafteronehourmore’twillbeeleven;
Andso,fromhourtohour,weripeandripe,Andthen,fromhourtohour,werotandrot;
Andtherebyhangsatale。’WhenIdidhearThemotleyfoolthusmoralonthetime,Mylungsbegantocrowlikechanticleer,Thatfoolsshouldbesodeep-contemplative,AndIdidlaughsansintermissionAnhourbyhisdial。Onoblefool!
Aworthyfool!Motley’stheonlywear。DUKESENIORWhatfoolisthis?JAQUESOworthyfool!Onethathathbeenacourtier,Andsays,ifladiesbebutyoungandfair,Theyhavethegifttoknowit:andinhisbrain,WhichisasdryastheremainderbiscuitAfteravoyage,hehathstrangeplacescramm’dWithobservation,thewhichheventsInmangledforms。OthatIwereafool!
Iamambitiousforamotleycoat。DUKESENIORThoushalthaveone。JAQUESItismyonlysuit;
ProvidedthatyouweedyourbetterjudgmentsOfallopinionthatgrowsrankinthemThatIamwise。ImusthavelibertyWithal,aslargeacharterasthewind,ToblowonwhomIplease;forsofoolshave;
Andtheythataremostgalledwithmyfolly,Theymostmustlaugh。Andwhy,sir,musttheyso?
The’why’isplainaswaytoparishchurch:
HethatafooldothverywiselyhitDothveryfoolishly,althoughhesmart,Nottoseemsenselessofthebob:ifnot,Thewiseman’sfollyisanatomizedEvenbythesquanderingglancesofthefool。
Investmeinmymotley;givemeleaveTospeakmymind,andIwillthroughandthroughCleansethefoulbodyoftheinfectedworld,Iftheywillpatientlyreceivemymedicine。DUKESENIORFieonthee!Icantellwhatthouwouldstdo。JAQUESWhat,foracounter,wouldIdobutgood?DUKESENIORMostmischievousfoulsin,inchidingsin:
Forthouthyselfhastbeenalibertine,Assensualasthebrutishstingitself;
Andalltheembossedsoresandheadedevils,Thatthouwithlicenceoffreefoothastcaught,Wouldstthoudisgorgeintothegeneralworld。JAQUESWhy,whocriesoutonpride,Thatcanthereintaxanyprivateparty?
Dothitnotflowashugelyasthesea,Tillthatthewearyverymeansdoebb?
WhatwomaninthecitydoIname,WhenthatIsaythecity-womanbearsThecostofprincesonunworthyshoulders?
WhocancomeinandsaythatImeanher,Whensuchaoneasshesuchisherneighbour?
OrwhatisheofbasestfunctionThatsayshisbraveryisnotofmycost,ThinkingthatImeanhim,butthereinsuitsHisfollytothemettleofmyspeech?
Therethen;howthen?whatthen?LetmeseewhereinMytonguehathwrong’dhim:ifitdohimright,Thenhehathwrong’dhimself;ifhebefree,Whythenmytaxinglikeawild-gooseflies,Unclaim’dofanyman。Butwhocomeshere?
EnterORLANDO,withhissworddrawnORLANDOForbear,andeatnomore。JAQUESWhy,Ihaveeatnoneyet。ORLANDONorshaltnot,tillnecessitybeserved。JAQUESOfwhatkindshouldthiscockcomeof?DUKESENIORArtthouthusbolden’d,man,bythydistress,Orelsearudedespiserofgoodmanners,Thatincivilitythouseem’stsoempty?ORLANDOYoutouch’dmyveinatfirst:thethornypointOfbaredistresshathta’enfrommetheshowOfsmoothcivility:yetamIinlandbredAndknowsomenurture。Butforbear,Isay:
HediesthattouchesanyofthisfruitTillIandmyaffairsareanswered。JAQUESAnyouwillnotbeansweredwithreason,Imustdie。DUKESENIORWhatwouldyouhave?YourgentlenessshallforceMorethanyourforcemoveustogentleness。ORLANDOIalmostdieforfood;andletmehaveit。DUKESENIORSitdownandfeed,andwelcometoourtable。ORLANDOSpeakyousogently?Pardonme,Iprayyou:
Ithoughtthatallthingshadbeensavagehere;
AndthereforeputIonthecountenanceOfsterncommandment。Butwhate’eryouareThatinthisdesertinaccessible,Undertheshadeofmelancholyboughs,LoseandneglectthecreepinghoursoftimeIfeveryouhavelook’donbetterdays,Ifeverbeenwherebellshaveknoll’dtochurch,Ifeversatatanygoodman’sfeast,IfeverfromyoureyelidswipedatearAndknowwhat’tistopityandbepitied,Letgentlenessmystrongenforcementbe:
InthewhichhopeIblush,andhidemysword。DUKESENIORTrueisitthatwehaveseenbetterdays,Andhavewithholybellbeenknoll’dtochurchAndsatatgoodmen’sfeastsandwipedoureyesOfdropsthatsacredpityhathengender’d:
AndthereforesityoudowningentlenessAndtakeuponcommandwhathelpwehaveThattoyourwantingmaybeminister’d。ORLANDOThenbutforbearyourfoodalittlewhile,Whiles,likeadoe,IgotofindmyfawnAndgiveitfood。Thereisanoldpoorman,WhoaftermehathmanyawearystepLimp’dinpurelove:tillhebefirstsufficed,Oppress’dwithtwoweakevils,ageandhunger,Iwillnottouchabit。DUKESENIORGofindhimout,Andwewillnothingwastetillyoureturn。ORLANDOIthankye;andbeblestforyourgoodcomfort!
ExitDUKESENIORThouseestwearenotallaloneunhappy:
ThiswideanduniversaltheatrePresentsmorewoefulpageantsthanthesceneWhereinweplayin。JAQUESAlltheworld’sastage,Andallthemenandwomenmerelyplayers:
Theyhavetheirexitsandtheirentrances;
Andonemaninhistimeplaysmanyparts,Hisactsbeingsevenages。Atfirsttheinfant,Mewlingandpukinginthenurse’sarms。
Andthenthewhiningschool-boy,withhissatchelAndshiningmorningface,creepinglikesnailUnwillinglytoschool。Andthenthelover,Sighinglikefurnace,withawoefulballadMadetohismistress’eyebrow。Thenasoldier,Fullofstrangeoathsandbeardedlikethepard,Jealousinhonour,suddenandquickinquarrel,SeekingthebubblereputationEveninthecannon’smouth。Andthenthejustice,Infairroundbellywithgoodcaponlined,Witheyessevereandbeardofformalcut,Fullofwisesawsandmoderninstances;
Andsoheplayshispart。ThesixthageshiftsIntotheleanandslipper’dpantaloon,Withspectaclesonnoseandpouchonside,Hisyouthfulhose,wellsaved,aworldtoowideForhisshrunkshank;andhisbigmanlyvoice,Turningagaintowardchildishtreble,pipesAndwhistlesinhissound。Lastsceneofall,Thatendsthisstrangeeventfulhistory,Issecondchildishnessandmereoblivion,Sansteeth,sanseyes,sanstaste,sanseverything。
Re-enterORLANDO,withADAMDUKESENIORWelcome。Setdownyourvenerableburthen,Andlethimfeed。ORLANDOIthankyoumostforhim。ADAMSohadyouneed:
Iscarcecanspeaktothankyouformyself。DUKESENIORWelcome;fallto:IwillnottroubleyouAsyet,toquestionyouaboutyourfortunes。
Giveussomemusic;and,goodcousin,sing。
SONG。AMIENSBlow,blow,thouwinterwind。
ThouartnotsounkindAsman’singratitude;
Thytoothisnotsokeen,Becausethouartnotseen,Althoughthybreathberude。
Heigh-ho!sing,heigh-ho!untothegreenholly:
Mostfriendshipisfeigning,mostlovingmerefolly:
Then,heigh-ho,theholly!
Thislifeismostjolly。
Freeze,freeze,thoubittersky,ThatdostnotbitesonighAsbenefitsforgot:
Thoughthouthewaterswarp,ThystingisnotsosharpAsfriendremember’dnot。
Heigh-ho!sing,&;c。DUKESENIORIfthatyouwerethegoodSirRowland’sson,Asyouhavewhisper’dfaithfullyyouwere,AndasmineeyedothhiseffigieswitnessMosttrulylimn’dandlivinginyourface,Betrulywelcomehither:IamthedukeThatlovedyourfather:theresidueofyourfortune,Gotomycaveandtellme。Goodoldman,Thouartrightwelcomeasthymasteris。
Supporthimbythearm。Givemeyourhand,Andletmeallyourfortunesunderstand。
ExeuntACTIIISCENEI。Aroominthepalace。EnterDUKEFREDERICK,Lords,andOLIVERDUKEFREDERICKNotseehimsince?Sir,sir,thatcannotbe:
ButwereInotthebetterpartmademercy,IshouldnotseekanabsentargumentOfmyrevenge,thoupresent。Butlooktoit:
Findoutthybrother,wheresoe’erheis;
Seekhimwithcandle;bringhimdeadorlivingWithinthistwelvemonth,orturnthounomoreToseekalivinginourterritory。
ThylandsandallthingsthatthoudostcallthineWorthseizuredoweseizeintoourhands,TillthoucanstquittheebythybrothersmouthOfwhatwethinkagainstthee。OLIVEROthatyourhighnessknewmyheartinthis!
Ineverlovedmybrotherinmylife。DUKEFREDERICKMorevillainthou。Well,pushhimoutofdoors;
AndletmyofficersofsuchanatureMakeanextentuponhishouseandlands:
Dothisexpedientlyandturnhimgoing。
ExeuntSCENEII。Theforest。EnterORLANDO,withapaperORLANDOHangthere,myverse,inwitnessofmylove:
Andthou,thrice-crownedqueenofnight,surveyWiththychasteeye,fromthypalesphereabove,Thyhuntress’namethatmyfulllifedothsway。
ORosalind!thesetreesshallbemybooksAndintheirbarksmythoughtsI’llcharacter;
ThateveryeyewhichinthisforestlooksShallseethyvirtuewitness’deverywhere。
Run,run,Orlando;carveoneverytreeThefair,thechasteandunexpressiveshe。
ExitEnterCORINandTOUCHSTONECORINAndhowlikeyouthisshepherd’slife,MasterTouchstone?TOUCHSTONETruly,shepherd,inrespectofitself,itisagoodlife,butinrespectthatitisashepherd’slife,itisnaught。Inrespectthatitissolitary,I
likeitverywell;butinrespectthatitisprivate,itisaveryvilelife。Now,inrespectitisinthefields,itpleasethmewell;butinrespectitisnotinthecourt,itistedious。
Asisitasparelife,lookyou,itfitsmyhumourwell;
butasthereisnomoreplentyinit,itgoesmuchagainstmystomach。Hastanyphilosophyinthee,shepherd?CORINNomorebutthatIknowthemoreonesickenstheworseateaseheis;andthathethatwantsmoney,meansandcontentiswithoutthreegoodfriends;
thatthepropertyofrainistowetandfiretoburn;thatgoodpasturemakesfatsheep,andthatagreatcauseofthenightislackofthesun;thathethathathlearnednowitbynaturenorartmaycomplainofgoodbreedingorcomesofaverydullkindred。TOUCHSTONESuchaoneisanaturalphilosopher。Wasteverincourt,shepherd?CORINNo,truly。TOUCHSTONEThenthouartdamned。CORINNay,Ihope。TOUCHSTONETruly,thouartdamnedlikeanill-roastedegg,allononeside。CORINFornotbeingatcourt?Yourreason。TOUCHSTONEWhy,ifthouneverwastatcourt,thouneversawestgoodmanners;ifthouneversawestgoodmanners,thenthymannersmustbewicked;andwickednessissin,andsinisdamnation。Thouartinaparlousstate,shepherd。CORINNotawhit,Touchstone:thosethataregoodmannersatthecourtareasridiculousinthecountryasthebehaviorofthecountryismostmockableatthecourt。Youtoldmeyousalutenotatthecourt,butyoukissyourhands:thatcourtesywouldbeuncleanly,ifcourtierswereshepherds。TOUCHSTONEInstance,briefly;come,instance。CORINWhy,wearestillhandlingourewes,andtheirfells,youknow,aregreasy。TOUCHSTONEWhy,donotyourcourtier’shandssweat?
andisnotthegreaseofamuttonaswholesomeasthesweatofaman?Shallow,shallow。Abetterinstance,I
say;come。CORINBesides,ourhandsarehard。TOUCHSTONEYourlipswillfeelthemthesooner。Shallowagain。
Amoresounderinstance,come。CORINAndtheyareoftentarredoverwiththesurgeryofoursheep:andwouldyouhaveuskisstar?Thecourtier’shandsareperfumedwithcivet。TOUCHSTONEMostshallowman!thouworms-meat,inrespectofagoodpieceoffleshindeed!Learnofthewise,andperpend:civetisofabaserbirththantar,theveryuncleanlyfluxofacat。Mendtheinstance,shepherd。CORINYouhavetoocourtlyawitforme:I’llrest。TOUCHSTONEWiltthourestdamned?Godhelpthee,shallowman!
Godmakeincisioninthee!thouartraw。CORINSir,Iamatruelabourer:IearnthatIeat,getthatIwear,owenomanhate,envynoman’shappiness,gladofothermen’sgood,contentwithmyharm,andthegreatestofmyprideistoseemyewesgrazeandmylambssuck。TOUCHSTONEThatisanothersimplesininyou,tobringtheewesandtheramstogetherandtooffertogetyourlivingbythecopulationofcattle;tobebawdtoabell-wether,andtobetrayashe-lambofatwelvemonthtoacrooked-pated,old,cuckoldlyram,outofallreasonablematch。Ifthoubeestnotdamnedforthis,thedevilhimselfwillhavenoshepherds;Icannotseeelsehowthoushouldst’scape。CORINHerecomesyoungMasterGanymede,mynewmistress’sbrother。
EnterROSALIND,withapaper,readingROSALINDFromtheeasttowesternInd,NojewelislikeRosalind。
Herworth,beingmountedonthewind,ThroughalltheworldbearsRosalind。
AllthepicturesfairestlinedArebutblacktoRosalind。
LetnofairbekeptinmindButthefairofRosalind。TOUCHSTONEI’llrhymeyousoeightyearstogether,dinnersandsuppersandsleeping-hoursexcepted:itistherightbutter-women’sranktomarket。ROSALINDOut,fool!TOUCHSTONEForataste:
Ifahartdolackahind,LethimseekoutRosalind。
Ifthecatwillafterkind,SobesurewillRosalind。
Wintergarmentsmustbelined,SomustslenderRosalind。
Theythatreapmustsheafandbind;
ThentocartwithRosalind。
Sweetestnuthathsourestrind,SuchanutisRosalind。
HethatsweetestrosewillfindMustfindlove’sprickandRosalind。
Thisistheveryfalsegallopofverses:whydoyouinfectyourselfwiththem?ROSALINDPeace,youdullfool!Ifoundthemonatree。TOUCHSTONETruly,thetreeyieldsbadfruit。ROSALINDI’llgraffitwithyou,andthenIshallgraffitwithamedlar:thenitwillbetheearliestfruiti’thecountry;foryou’llberottenereyoubehalfripe,andthat’stherightvirtueofthemedlar。TOUCHSTONEYouhavesaid;butwhetherwiselyorno,lettheforestjudge。
EnterCELIA,withawritingROSALINDPeace!Herecomesmysister,reading:
standaside。CELIA[Reads]
Whyshouldthisadesertbe?
Foritisunpeopled?No:
TonguesI’llhangoneverytree,Thatshallcivilsayingsshow:
Some,howbriefthelifeofmanRunshiserringpilgrimage,ThatthestretchingofaspanBucklesinhissumofage;
Some,ofviolatedvows’Twixtthesoulsoffriendandfriend:
Butuponthefairestboughs,Orateverysentenceend,WillIRosalindawrite,TeachingallthatreadtoknowThequintessenceofeveryspriteHeavenwouldinlittleshow。
ThereforeHeavenNaturechargedThatonebodyshouldbefill’dWithallgraceswide-enlarged:
Naturepresentlydistill’dHelen’scheek,butnotherheart,Cleopatra’smajesty,Atalanta’sbetterpart,SadLucretia’smodesty。
ThusRosalindofmanypartsByheavenlysynodwasdevised,Ofmanyfaces,eyesandhearts,Tohavethetouchesdearestprized。
Heavenwouldthatshethesegiftsshouldhave,AndItoliveanddieherslave。ROSALINDOmostgentlepulpiter!whattedioushomilyoflovehaveyouweariedyourparishionerswithal,andnevercried’Havepatience,goodpeople!’CELIAHownow!back,friends!Shepherd,gooffalittle。
Gowithhim,sirrah。TOUCHSTONECome,shepherd,letusmakeanhonourableretreat;
thoughnotwithbagandbaggage,yetwithscripandscrippage。
ExeuntCORINandTOUCHSTONECELIADidstthouheartheseverses?ROSALINDO,yes,Iheardthemall,andmoretoo;
forsomeofthemhadinthemmorefeetthantheverseswouldbear。CELIAThat’snomatter:thefeetmightbeartheverses。ROSALINDAy,butthefeetwerelameandcouldnotbearthemselveswithouttheverseandthereforestoodlamelyintheverse。CELIAButdidstthouhearwithoutwonderinghowthynameshouldbehangedandcarveduponthesetrees?ROSALINDIwassevenoftheninedaysoutofthewonderbeforeyoucame;forlookherewhatIfoundonapalm-tree。Iwasneversobe-rhymedsincePythagoras’time,thatIwasanIrishrat,whichI
canhardlyremember。CELIATrowyouwhohathdonethis?ROSALINDIsitaman?CELIAAndachain,thatyouoncewore,abouthisneck。
Changeyoucolour?ROSALINDIprithee,who?CELIAOLord,Lord!itisahardmatterforfriendstomeet;butmountainsmayberemovedwithearthquakesandsoencounter。ROSALINDNay,butwhoisit?CELIAIsitpossible?ROSALINDNay,Ipritheenowwithmostpetitionaryvehemence,tellmewhoitis。CELIAOwonderful,wonderful,andmostwonderfulwonderful!andyetagainwonderful,andafterthat,outofallhooping!ROSALINDGoodmycomplexion!dostthouthink,thoughIamcaparisonedlikeaman,Ihaveadoubletandhoseinmydisposition?OneinchofdelaymoreisaSouth-seaofdiscovery;Iprithee,tellmewhoisitquickly,andspeakapace。Iwouldthoucouldststammer,thatthoumightstpourthisconcealedmanoutofthymouth,aswinecomesoutofanarrow-
mouthedbottle,eithertoomuchatonce,ornoneatall。Iprithee,takethecorkoutofthymouththatmaydrinkthytidings。CELIASoyoumayputamaninyourbelly。ROSALINDIsheofGod’smaking?Whatmannerofman?Ishisheadworthahat,orhischinworthabeard?CELIANay,hehathbutalittlebeard。ROSALINDWhy,Godwillsendmore,ifthemanwillbethankful:letmestaythegrowthofhisbeard,ifthoudelaymenottheknowledgeofhischin。CELIAItisyoungOrlando,thattrippedupthewrestler’sheelsandyourheartbothinaninstant。ROSALINDNay,butthedeviltakemocking:speak,sadbrowandtruemaid。CELIAI’faith,coz,’tishe。ROSALINDOrlando?CELIAOrlando。ROSALINDAlastheday!whatshallIdowithmydoubletandhose?Whatdidhewhenthousawesthim?Whatsaidhe?Howlookedhe?Whereinwenthe?Whatmakeshimhere?Didheaskforme?Whereremainshe?
Howpartedhewiththee?andwhenshaltthouseehimagain?Answermeinoneword。CELIAYoumustborrowmeGargantua’smouthfirst:’tisawordtoogreatforanymouthofthisage’ssize。
Tosayayandnototheseparticularsismorethantoanswerinacatechism。ROSALINDButdothheknowthatIaminthisforestandinman’sapparel?Looksheasfreshlyashedidthedayhewrestled?CELIAItisaseasytocountatomiesastoresolvethepropositionsofalover;buttakeatasteofmyfindinghim,andrelishitwithgoodobservance。
Ifoundhimunderatree,likeadroppedacorn。ROSALINDItmaywellbecalledJove’stree,whenitdropsforthsuchfruit。CELIAGivemeaudience,goodmadam。ROSALINDProceed。CELIATherelayhe,stretchedalong,likeawoundedknight。ROSALINDThoughitbepitytoseesuchasight,itwellbecomestheground。CELIACry’holla’tothytongue,Iprithee;
itcurvetsunseasonably。Hewasfurnishedlikeahunter。ROSALINDO,ominous!hecomestokillmyheart。CELIAIwouldsingmysongwithoutaburden:
thoubringestmeoutoftune。ROSALINDDoyounotknowIamawoman?whenI
think,Imustspeak。Sweet,sayon。CELIAYoubringmeout。Soft!comeshenothere?
EnterORLANDOandJAQUESROSALIND’Tishe:slinkby,andnotehim。JAQUESIthankyouforyourcompany;but,goodfaith,Ihadasliefhavebeenmyselfalone。ORLANDOAndsohadI;butyet,forfashionsake,Ithankyoutooforyoursociety。JAQUESGodbewi’you:let’smeetaslittleaswecan。ORLANDOIdodesirewemaybebetterstrangers。JAQUESIprayyou,marnomoretreeswithwritinglove-songsintheirbarks。ORLANDOIprayyou,marnomoreofmyverseswithreadingthemill-favouredly。JAQUESRosalindisyourlove’sname?ORLANDOYes,just。JAQUESIdonotlikehername。ORLANDOTherewasnothoughtofpleasingyouwhenshewaschristened。JAQUESWhatstatureissheof?ORLANDOJustashighasmyheart。JAQUESYouarefullofprettyanswers。Haveyounotbeenacquaintedwithgoldsmiths’wives,andconnedthemoutofrings?ORLANDONotso;butIansweryourightpaintedcloth,fromwhenceyouhavestudiedyourquestions。JAQUESYouhaveanimblewit:Ithink’twasmadeofAtalanta’sheels。Willyousitdownwithme?
andwetwowillrailagainstourmistresstheworldandallourmisery。ORLANDOIwillchidenobreatherintheworldbutmyself,againstwhomIknowmostfaults。JAQUESTheworstfaultyouhaveistobeinlove。ORLANDO’TisafaultIwillnotchangeforyourbestvirtue。
Iamwearyofyou。JAQUESBymytroth,IwasseekingforafoolwhenIfoundyou。ORLANDOHeisdrownedinthebrook:lookbutin,andyoushallseehim。JAQUESThereIshallseemineownfigure。ORLANDOWhichItaketobeeitherafooloracipher。JAQUESI’lltarrynolongerwithyou:farewell,goodSigniorLove。ORLANDOIamgladofyourdeparture:adieu,goodMonsieurMelancholy。
ExitJAQUESROSALIND[AsidetoCELIA]Iwillspeaktohim,likeasaucylackeyandunderthathabitplaytheknavewithhim。
Doyouhear,forester?ORLANDOVerywell:whatwouldyou?ROSALINDIprayyou,whatis’to’clock?ORLANDOYoushouldaskmewhattimeo’day:there’snoclockintheforest。ROSALINDThenthereisnotrueloverintheforest;
elsesighingeveryminuteandgroaningeveryhourwoulddetectthelazyfootofTimeaswellasaclock。ORLANDOAndwhynottheswiftfootofTime?hadnotthatbeenasproper?ROSALINDBynomeans,sir:Timetravelsindiverspaceswithdiverspersons。I’lltellyouwhoTimeambleswithal,whoTimetrotswithal,whoTimegallopswithalandwhohestandsstillwithal。ORLANDOIprithee,whodothhetrotwithal?ROSALINDMarry,hetrotshardwithayoungmaidbetweenthecontractofhermarriageandthedayitissolemnized:iftheinterimbebutase’nnight,Time’spaceissohardthatitseemsthelengthofsevenyear。ORLANDOWhoamblesTimewithal?ROSALINDWithapriestthatlacksLatinandarichmanthathathnotthegout,fortheonesleepseasilybecausehecannotstudy,andtheotherlivesmerrilybecausehefeelsnopain,theonelackingtheburdenofleanandwastefullearning,theotherknowingnoburdenofheavytediouspenury;theseTimeambleswithal。ORLANDOWhodothhegallopwithal?ROSALINDWithathieftothegallows,forthoughhegoassoftlyasfootcanfall,hethinkshimselftoosoonthere。ORLANDOWhostaysitstillwithal?ROSALINDWithlawyersinthevacation,fortheysleepbetweentermandtermandthentheyperceivenothowTimemoves。ORLANDOWheredwellyou,prettyyouth?ROSALINDWiththisshepherdess,mysister;hereintheskirtsoftheforest,likefringeuponapetticoat。ORLANDOAreyounativeofthisplace?ROSALINDAstheconythatyouseedwellwheresheiskindled。ORLANDOYouraccentissomethingfinerthanyoucouldpurchaseinsoremovedadwelling。ROSALINDIhavebeentoldsoofmany:butindeedanoldreligiousuncleofminetaughtmetospeak,whowasinhisyouthaninlandman;onethatknewcourtshiptoowell,fortherehefellinlove。Ihaveheardhimreadmanylecturesagainstit,andIthankGodIamnotawoman,tobetouchedwithsomanygiddyoffencesashehathgenerallytaxedtheirwholesexwithal。ORLANDOCanyourememberanyoftheprincipalevilsthathelaidtothechargeofwomen?ROSALINDTherewerenoneprincipal;theywerealllikeoneanotherashalf-penceare,everyonefaultseemingmonstroustillhisfellowfaultcametomatchit。ORLANDOIprithee,recountsomeofthem。ROSALINDNo,Iwillnotcastawaymyphysicbutonthosethataresick。Thereisamanhauntstheforest,thatabusesouryoungplantswithcarving’Rosalind’
ontheirbarks;hangsodesuponhawthornsandelegiesonbrambles,all,forsooth,deifyingthenameofRosalind:ifIcouldmeetthatfancy-mongerI
wouldgivehimsomegoodcounsel,forheseemstohavethequotidianofloveuponhim。ORLANDOIamhethatissolove-shaked:Iprayyoutellmeyourremedy。ROSALINDThereisnoneofmyuncle’smarksuponyou:hetaughtmehowtoknowamaninlove;inwhichcageofrushesIamsureyouarenotprisoner。ORLANDOWhatwerehismarks?ROSALINDAleancheek,whichyouhavenot,ablueeyeandsunken,whichyouhavenot,anunquestionablespirit,whichyouhavenot,abeardneglected,whichyouhavenot;butIpardonyouforthat,forsimplyyourhavinginbeardisayoungerbrother’srevenue:thenyourhoseshouldbeungartered,yourbonnetunbanded,yoursleeveunbuttoned,yourshoeuntiedandeverythingaboutyoudemonstratingacarelessdesolation;butyouarenosuchman;
youareratherpoint-deviceinyouraccoutrementsaslovingyourselfthanseemingtheloverofanyother。ORLANDOFairyouth,IwouldIcouldmaketheebelieveIlove。ROSALINDMebelieveit!youmayassoonmakeherthatyoulovebelieveit;which,Iwarrant,sheisaptertodothantoconfessshedoes:thatisoneofthepointsinthewhichwomenstillgivethelietotheirconsciences。But,ingoodsooth,areyouhethathangstheversesonthetrees,whereinRosalindissoadmired?ORLANDOIsweartothee,youth,bythewhitehandofRosalind,Iamthathe,thatunfortunatehe。ROSALINDButareyousomuchinloveasyourrhymesspeak?ORLANDONeitherrhymenorreasoncanexpresshowmuch。ROSALINDLoveismerelyamadness,and,Itellyou,deservesaswelladarkhouseandawhipasmadmendo:
andthereasonwhytheyarenotsopunishedandcuredis,thatthelunacyissoordinarythatthewhippersareinlovetoo。YetIprofesscuringitbycounsel。ORLANDODidyouevercureanyso?ROSALINDYes,one,andinthismanner。Hewastoimaginemehislove,hismistress;andIsethimeverydaytowoome:atwhichtimewouldI,beingbutamoonishyouth,grieve,beeffeminate,changeable,longingandliking,proud,fantastical,apish,shallow,inconstant,fulloftears,fullofsmiles,foreverypassionsomethingandfornopassiontrulyanything,asboysandwomenareforthemostpartcattleofthiscolour;wouldnowlikehim,nowloathehim;thenentertainhim,thenforswearhim;nowweepforhim,thenspitathim;thatIdravemysuitorfromhismadhumouroflovetoalivinghumourofmadness;whichwas,toforswearthefullstreamoftheworld,andtoliveinanookmerelymonastic。
AndthusIcuredhim;andthiswaywillItakeuponmetowashyourliverascleanasasoundsheep’sheart,thatthereshallnotbeonespotoflovein’t。ORLANDOIwouldnotbecured,youth。ROSALINDIwouldcureyou,ifyouwouldbutcallmeRosalindandcomeeverydaytomycoteandwoome。ORLANDONow,bythefaithofmylove,Iwill:
tellmewhereitis。ROSALINDGowithmetoitandI’llshowityouandbythewayyoushalltellmewhereintheforestyoulive。
Willyougo?ORLANDOWithallmyheart,goodyouth。ROSALINDNayyoumustcallmeRosalind。Come,sister,willyougo?
ExeuntSCENEIII。Theforest。EnterTOUCHSTONEandAUDREY;JAQUESbehindTOUCHSTONEComeapace,goodAudrey:Iwillfetchupyourgoats,Audrey。Andhow,Audrey?amIthemanyet?
dothmysimplefeaturecontentyou?AUDREYYourfeatures!Lordwarrantus!whatfeatures!TOUCHSTONEIamherewiththeeandthygoats,asthemostcapriciouspoet,honestOvid,wasamongtheGoths。JAQUES[Aside]Oknowledgeill-inhabited,worsethanJoveinathatchedhouse!TOUCHSTONEWhenaman’sversescannotbeunderstood,noraman’sgoodwitsecondedwiththeforwardchildUnderstanding,itstrikesamanmoredeadthanagreatreckoninginalittleroom。Truly,Iwouldthegodshadmadetheepoetical。AUDREYIdonotknowwhat’poetical’is:isithonestindeedandword?isitatruething?TOUCHSTONENo,truly;forthetruestpoetryisthemostfeigning;andloversaregiventopoetry,andwhattheyswearinpoetrymaybesaidasloverstheydofeign。AUDREYDoyouwishthenthatthegodshadmademepoetical?TOUCHSTONEIdo,truly;forthouswearesttomethouarthonest:now,ifthouwertapoet,Imighthavesomehopethoudidstfeign。AUDREYWouldyounothavemehonest?TOUCHSTONENo,truly,unlessthouwerthard-favoured;
forhonestycoupledtobeautyistohavehoneyasaucetosugar。JAQUES[Aside]Amaterialfool!AUDREYWell,Iamnotfair;andthereforeIpraythegodsmakemehonest。TOUCHSTONETruly,andtocastawayhonestyuponafoulslutweretoputgoodmeatintoanuncleandish。AUDREYIamnotaslut,thoughIthankthegodsIamfoul。TOUCHSTONEWell,praisedbethegodsforthyfoulness!
sluttishnessmaycomehereafter。Butbeitasitmaybe,Iwillmarrythee,andtothatendIhavebeenwithSirOliverMartext,thevicarofthenextvillage,whohathpromisedtomeetmeinthisplaceoftheforestandtocoupleus。JAQUES[Aside]Iwouldfainseethismeeting。AUDREYWell,thegodsgiveusjoy!TOUCHSTONEAmen。Amanmay,ifhewereofafearfulheart,staggerinthisattempt;forherewehavenotemplebutthewood,noassemblybuthorn-beasts。Butwhatthough?Courage!Ashornsareodious,theyarenecessary。Itissaid,’manyamanknowsnoendofhisgoods:’right;manyamanhasgoodhorns,andknowsnoendofthem。Well,thatisthedowryofhiswife;’tisnoneofhisowngetting。Horns?
Evenso。Poormenalone?No,no;thenoblestdeerhaththemashugeastherascal。Isthesinglemanthereforeblessed?No:asawalledtownismoreworthierthanavillage,soistheforeheadofamarriedmanmorehonourablethanthebarebrowofabachelor;andbyhowmuchdefenceisbetterthannoskill,bysomuchisahornmorepreciousthantowant。HerecomesSirOliver。
EnterSIROLIVERMARTEXT
SirOliverMartext,youarewellmet:willyoudispatchushereunderthistree,orshallwegowithyoutoyourchapel?SIROLIVERMARTEXTIstherenoneheretogivethewoman?TOUCHSTONEIwillnottakeherongiftofanyman。SIROLIVERMARTEXTTruly,shemustbegiven,orthemarriageisnotlawful。JAQUES[Advancing]
Proceed,proceedI’llgiveher。TOUCHSTONEGoodeven,goodMasterWhat-ye-call’t:
howdoyou,sir?Youareverywellmet:God’ildyouforyourlastcompany:Iamverygladtoseeyou:evenatoyinhandhere,sir:nay,praybecovered。JAQUESWillyoubemarried,motley?TOUCHSTONEAstheoxhathhisbow,sir,thehorsehiscurbandthefalconherbells,somanhathhisdesires;
andaspigeonsbill,sowedlockwouldbenibbling。JAQUESAndwillyou,beingamanofyourbreeding,bemarriedunderabushlikeabeggar?Getyoutochurch,andhaveagoodpriestthatcantellyouwhatmarriageis:thisfellowwillbutjoinyoutogetherastheyjoinwainscot;thenoneofyouwillproveashrunkpaneland,likegreentimber,warp,warp。TOUCHSTONE[Aside]IamnotinthemindbutIwerebettertobemarriedofhimthanofanother:forheisnotliketomarrymewell;andnotbeingwellmarried,itwillbeagoodexcuseformehereaftertoleavemywife。JAQUESGothouwithme,andletmecounselthee。TOUCHSTONE’Come,sweetAudrey:
Wemustbemarried,orwemustliveinbawdry。
Farewell,goodMasterOliver:not,——
OsweetOliver,ObraveOliver,Leavemenotbehindthee:but,——
Windaway,Begone,Isay,Iwillnottoweddingwiththee。
ExeuntJAQUES,TOUCHSTONEandAUDREYSIROLIVERMARTEXT’Tisnomatter:ne’erafantasticalknaveofthemallshallfloutmeoutofmycalling。
ExitSCENEIV。Theforest。EnterROSALINDandCELIAROSALINDNevertalktome;Iwillweep。CELIADo,Iprithee;butyethavethegracetoconsiderthattearsdonotbecomeaman。ROSALINDButhaveInotcausetoweep?CELIAAsgoodcauseasonewoulddesire;thereforeweep。ROSALINDHisveryhairisofthedissemblingcolour。CELIASomethingbrownerthanJudas’smarry,hiskissesareJudas’sownchildren。ROSALINDI’faith,hishairisofagoodcolour。CELIAAnexcellentcolour:yourchestnutwasevertheonlycolour。ROSALINDAndhiskissingisasfullofsanctityasthetouchofholybread。CELIAHehathboughtapairofcastlipsofDiana:anunofwinter’ssisterhoodkissesnotmorereligiously;
theveryiceofchastityisinthem。ROSALINDButwhydidheswearhewouldcomethismorning,andcomesnot?CELIANay,certainly,thereisnotruthinhim。ROSALINDDoyouthinkso?CELIAYes;Ithinkheisnotapick-pursenorahorse-stealer,butforhisverityinlove,Idothinkhimasconcaveasacoveredgobletoraworm-eatennut。ROSALINDNottrueinlove?CELIAYes,whenheisin;butIthinkheisnotin。ROSALINDYouhaveheardhimsweardownrighthewas。CELIA’Was’isnot’is:’besides,theoathofaloverisnostrongerthanthewordofatapster;theyareboththeconfirmeroffalsereckonings。Heattendshereintheforestonthedukeyourfather。ROSALINDImetthedukeyesterdayandhadmuchquestionwithhim:heaskedmeofwhatparentageIwas;Itoldhim,ofasgoodashe;sohelaughedandletmego。
Butwhattalkweoffathers,whenthereissuchamanasOrlando?CELIAO,that’sabraveman!hewritesbraveverses,speaksbravewords,swearsbraveoathsandbreaksthembravely,quitetraverse,athwarttheheartofhislover;asapuisnytilter,thatspurshishorsebutononeside,breakshisstafflikeanoblegoose:butall’sbravethatyouthmountsandfollyguides。Whocomeshere?
EnterCORINCORINMistressandmaster,youhaveoftinquiredAftertheshepherdthatcomplain’doflove,Whoyousawsittingbymeontheturf,PraisingtheprouddisdainfulshepherdessThatwashismistress。CELIAWell,andwhatofhim?CORINIfyouwillseeapageanttrulyplay’d,BetweenthepalecomplexionoftrueloveAndtheredglowofscornandprouddisdain,GohencealittleandIshallconductyou,Ifyouwillmarkit。ROSALINDO,come,letusremove:
Thesightofloversfeedeththoseinlove。
Bringustothissight,andyoushallsayI’llproveabusyactorintheirplay。
ExeuntSCENEV。Anotherpartoftheforest。EnterSILVIUSandPHEBESILVIUSSweetPhebe,donotscornme;donot,Phebe;
Saythatyoulovemenot,butsaynotsoInbitterness。Thecommonexecutioner,Whosehearttheaccustom’dsightofdeathmakeshard,FallsnottheaxeuponthehumbledneckButfirstbegspardon:willyousternerbeThanhethatdiesandlivesbybloodydrops?
EnterROSALIND,CELIA,andCORIN,behindPHEBEIwouldnotbethyexecutioner:
Iflythee,forIwouldnotinjurethee。
Thoutell’stmethereismurderinmineeye:
’Tispretty,sure,andveryprobable,Thateyes,thatarethefrail’standsoftestthings,Whoshuttheircowardgatesonatomies,Shouldbecall’dtyrants,butchers,murderers!
NowIdofrownontheewithallmyheart;
Andifmineeyescanwound,nowletthemkillthee:
Nowcounterfeittoswoon;whynowfalldown;
Orifthoucanstnot,O,forshame,forshame,Lienot,tosaymineeyesaremurderers!
Nowshowthewoundmineeyehathmadeinthee:
Scratchtheebutwithapin,andthereremainsSomescarofit;leanbutuponarush,ThecicatriceandcapableimpressureThypalmsomemomentkeeps;butnowmineeyes,WhichIhavedartedatthee,hurttheenot,Nor,Iamsure,thereisnoforceineyesThatcandohurt。SILVIUSOdearPhebe,Ifever,——asthatevermaybenear,——
Youmeetinsomefreshcheekthepoweroffancy,ThenshallyouknowthewoundsinvisibleThatlove’skeenarrowsmake。PHEBEButtillthattimeComenotthounearme:andwhenthattimecomes,Afflictmewiththymocks,pitymenot;
AstillthattimeIshallnotpitythee。ROSALINDAndwhy,Iprayyou?Whomightbeyourmother,Thatyouinsult,exult,andallatonce,Overthewretched?Whatthoughyouhavenobeauty,——
As,bymyfaith,IseenomoreinyouThanwithoutcandlemaygodarktobed——
Mustyoubethereforeproudandpitiless?
Why,whatmeansthis?Whydoyoulookonme?
IseenomoreinyouthanintheordinaryOfnature’ssale-work。’Od’smylittlelife,Ithinkshemeanstotanglemyeyestoo!
No,faith,proudmistress,hopenotafterit:
’Tisnotyourinkybrows,yourblacksilkhair,Yourbugleeyeballs,noryourcheekofcream,Thatcanentamemyspiritstoyourworship。
Youfoolishshepherd,whereforedoyoufollowher,Likefoggysouthpuffingwithwindandrain?
YouareathousandtimesaproperermanThansheawoman:’tissuchfoolsasyouThatmakestheworldfullofill-favour’dchildren:
’Tisnotherglass,butyou,thatflattersher;
AndoutofyousheseesherselfmoreproperThananyofherlineamentscanshowher。
But,mistress,knowyourself:downonyourknees,Andthankheaven,fasting,foragoodman’slove:
ForImusttellyoufriendlyinyourear,Sellwhenyoucan:youarenotforallmarkets:
Crythemanmercy;lovehim;takehisoffer:
Foulismostfoul,beingfoultobeascoffer。
Sotakehertothee,shepherd:fareyouwell。PHEBESweetyouth,Iprayyou,chideayeartogether:
Ihadratherhearyouchidethanthismanwoo。ROSALINDHe’sfalleninlovewithyourfoulnessandshe’llfallinlovewithmyanger。Ifitbeso,asfastassheanswerstheewithfrowninglooks,I’llsauceherwithbitterwords。Whylookyousouponme?PHEBEFornoillwillIbearyou。ROSALINDIprayyou,donotfallinlovewithme,ForIamfalserthanvowsmadeinwine:
Besides,Ilikeyounot。Ifyouwillknowmyhouse,’Tisatthetuftofolivesherehardby。
Willyougo,sister?Shepherd,plyherhard。
Come,sister。Shepherdess,lookonhimbetter,Andbenotproud:thoughalltheworldcouldsee,Nonecouldbesoabusedinsightashe。
Come,toourflock。
ExeuntROSALIND,CELIAandCORINPHEBEDeadShepherd,nowIfindthysawofmight,’Whoeverlovedthatlovednotatfirstsight?’SILVIUSSweetPhebe,——PHEBEHa,whatsay’stthou,Silvius?SILVIUSSweetPhebe,pityme。PHEBEWhy,Iamsorryforthee,gentleSilvius。SILVIUSWhereversorrowis,reliefwouldbe:
Ifyoudosorrowatmygriefinlove,BygivingloveyoursorrowandmygriefWerebothextermined。PHEBEThouhastmylove:isnotthatneighbourly?SILVIUSIwouldhaveyou。PHEBEWhy,thatwerecovetousness。
Silvius,thetimewasthatIhatedthee,AndyetitisnotthatIbeartheelove;
Butsincethatthoucansttalkoflovesowell,Thycompany,whicherstwasirksometome,Iwillendure,andI’llemploytheetoo:
ButdonotlookforfurtherrecompenseThanthineowngladnessthatthouartemploy’d。SILVIUSSoholyandsoperfectismylove,AndIinsuchapovertyofgrace,ThatIshallthinkitamostplenteouscropTogleanthebrokenearsafterthemanThatthemainharvestreaps:loosenowandthenAscatter’dsmile,andthatI’llliveupon。PHEBEKnow’stnowtheyouththatspoketomeerewhile?SILVIUSNotverywell,butIhavemethimoft;
AndhehathboughtthecottageandtheboundsThattheoldcarlotoncewasmasterof。PHEBEThinknotIlovehim,thoughIaskforhim:
’Tisbutapeevishboy;yethetalkswell;
ButwhatcareIforwords?yetwordsdowellWhenhethatspeaksthempleasesthosethathear。
Itisaprettyyouth:notverypretty:
But,sure,he’sproud,andyethispridebecomeshim:
He’llmakeaproperman:thebestthinginhimIshiscomplexion;andfasterthanhistongueDidmakeoffencehiseyedidhealitup。
Heisnotverytall;yetforhisyearshe’stall:
Hislegisbutsoso;andyet’tiswell:
Therewasaprettyrednessinhislip,AlittleriperandmorelustyredThanthatmix’dinhischeek;’twasjustthedifferenceBetweentheconstantredandmingleddamask。
Therebesomewomen,Silvius,hadtheymark’dhimInparcelsasIdid,wouldhavegonenearTofallinlovewithhim;but,formypart,Ilovehimnotnorhatehimnot;andyetIhavemorecausetohatehimthantolovehim:
Forwhathadhetodotochideatme?
Hesaidmineeyeswereblackandmyhairblack:
And,nowIamremember’d,scorn’datme:
ImarvelwhyIanswer’dnotagain:
Butthat’sallone;omittanceisnoquittance。
I’llwritetohimaverytauntingletter,Andthoushaltbearit:wiltthou,Silvius?SILVIUSPhebe,withallmyheart。PHEBEI’llwriteitstraight;
Thematter’sinmyheadandinmyheart:
Iwillbebitterwithhimandpassingshort。
Gowithme,Silvius。