LVOFF。[Notlisteningtohim]Tomenlikeyourselfonemustspeakplainly，andifyoudon’twanttohearwhatIhavetosay，youneednotlisten。Ialwayscallaspadeaspade；thetruthis，youwanthertodiesothatthewaymaybeclearedforyourotherschemes。Beitso；butcan’tyouwait？If，insteadofcrushingthelifeoutofyourwifebyyourheartlessegoism，youletherdienaturally，doyouthinkyouwouldloseSashaandSasha’smoney？SuchanabsoluteTartuffeasyouarecouldturnthegirl’sheadandgethermoneyayearfromnowaseasilyasyoucanto-day。Whyareyouinsuchahurry？Whydoyouwantyourwifetodienow，insteadofinamonth’stime，orayear’s？
　　IVANOFF。Thisistorture！Youareaverybaddoctorifyouthinkamancancontrolhimselfforever。ItisallIcandonottoansweryourinsults。
　　LVOFF。Lookhere，whomareyoutryingtodeceive？Throwoffthisdisguise！
　　IVANOFF。Youwhoaresoclever，youthinkthatnothingintheworldiseasierthantounderstandme，doyou？ImarriedAnnieforhermoney，didI？Andwhenherparentswouldn’tgiveittome，Ichangedmyplans，andamnowhustlingheroutoftheworldsothatImaymarryanotherwoman，whowillbringmewhatIwant？
　　Youthinkso，doyou？Oh，howeasyandsimpleitallis！Butyouaremistaken，doctor；ineachoneofustherearetoomanysprings，toomanywheelsandcogsforustojudgeeachotherbyfirstimpressionsorbytwoorthreeexternalindications。Icannotunderstandyou，youcannotunderstandme，andneitherofuscanunderstandhimself。Amanmaybeasplendiddoctor，andatthesametimeaverybadjudgeofhumannature；youwilladmitthat，unlessyouaretooself-confident。
　　LVOFF。Doyoureallythinkthatyourcharacterissomysterious，andthatIamtoostupidtotellvicefromvirtue？
　　IVANOFF。Itisclearthatweshallneveragree，soletmebegyoutoanswermenowwithoutanymorepreamble：exactlywhatdoyouwantmetodo？[Angrily]Whatareyouafteranyway？AndwithwhomhaveIthehonourofspeaking？Withmylawyer，orwithmywife’sdoctor？
　　LVOFF。Iamadoctor，andassuchIdemandthatyouchangeyourconducttowardyourwife；itiskillingher。
　　IVANOFF。WhatshallIdo？Tellme！IfyouunderstandmesomuchbetterthanIunderstandmyself，forheaven’ssaketellmeexactlywhattodo！
　　LVOFF。Inthefirstplace，don’tbesounguardedinyourbehaviour。
　　IVANOFF。Heavenhelpme，doyoumeantosaythatyouunderstandyourself？[Hedrinkssomewater]Nowgoaway；Iamguiltyathousandtimesover；IshallanswerformysinsbeforeGod；butnothinghasgivenyoutherighttotorturemedailyasyoudo。
　　LVOFF。Whohasgivenyoutherighttoinsultmysenseofhonour？
　　Youhavemaddenedandpoisonedmysoul。BeforeIcametothisplaceIknewthatstupid，crazy，deludedpeopleexisted，butI
　　neverimaginedthatanyonecouldbesocriminalastoturnhisminddeliberatelyinthedirectionofwickedness。Ilovedandesteemedhumanitythen，butsinceIhaveknownyou——
　　IVANOFF。Ihaveheardallthatbefore。
　　LVOFF。Youhave，haveyou？
　　Hegoesout，shrugginghisshoulders。HeseesSASHA，whocomesinatthismomentdressedforriding。
　　LVOFF。Now，however，Ihopethatwecanunderstandoneanother！
　　IVANOFF。[Startled]Oh，Sasha，isthatyou？
　　SASHA。Yes，itisI。Howareyou？Youdidn’texpectme，didyou？
　　Whyhaven’tyoubeentoseeus？
　　IVANOFF。Sasha，thisisreallyimprudentofyou！Yourcomingwillhaveaterribleeffectonmywife！
　　SASHA。Shewon’tseeme；Icameinbythebackentrance；Ishallgoinaminute。Iamsoanxiousaboutyou。Tellme，areyouwell？
　　Whyhaven’tyoubeentoseeusforsuchalongtime？
　　IVANOFF。Mywifeisoffendedalready，andalmostdying，andnowyoucomehere；Sasha，Sasha，thisisthoughtlessandunkindofyou。
　　SASHA。HowcouldIhelpcoming？Itistwoweekssinceyouwereatourhouse，andyouhavenotansweredmyletters。Iimaginedyousufferingdreadfully，orill，ordead。Ihavenotsleptfornights。Iamgoingnow，butfirsttellmethatyouarewell。
　　IVANOFF。No，Iamnotwell。Iamatormenttomyself，andeveryonetormentsmewithoutend。Ican’tstandit！Andnowyoucomehere。Howmorbidandunnaturalitallis，Sasha。Iamterriblyguilty。
　　SASHA。Whatdreadful，pitifulspeechesyoumake！Soyouareguilty，areyou？Tellme，then，whatisityouhavedone？
　　IVANOFFIdon’tknow；Idon’tknow！
　　SASHA。Thatisnoanswer。Everysinnershouldknowwhatheisguiltyof。Perhapsyouhavebeenforgingmoney？
　　IVANOFF。Thatisstupid。
　　SASHA。Orareyouguiltybecauseyounolongerloveyourwife？
　　Perhapsyouare，butnooneismasterofhisfeelings，andyoudidnotmeantostoplovingher。DoyoufeelguiltybecauseshesawmetellingyouthatIloveyou？No，thatcannotbe，becauseyoudidnotwanthertoseeit——
　　IVANOFF。[Interruptingher]Andsoon，andsoon！FirstyousayI
　　love，andthenyousayIdon’t；thatIamnotmasterofmyfeelings。Allthesearecommonplace，worn-outsentiments，withwhichyoucannothelpme。
　　SASHA。Itisimpossibletotalktoyou。[Shelooksatapictureonthewall]Howwellthosedogsaredrawn！Weretheydonefromlife？
　　IVANOFF。Yes，fromlife。Andthiswholeromanceofoursisatediousoldstory；amanlosesheartandbeginstogodownintheworld；agirlappears，braveandstrongofheart，andgiveshimahandtohelphimtoriseagain。Suchsituationsarepretty，buttheyareonlyfoundinnovelsandnotinreallife。
　　SASHA。No，theyarefoundinreallifetoo。
　　IVANOFF。NowIseehowwellyouunderstandreallife！Mysufferingsseemnobletoyou；youimagineyouhavediscoveredinmeasecondHamlet；butmystateofmindinallitsphasesisonlyfittofurnishfoodforcontemptandderision。Mycontortionsareridiculousenoughtomakeanyonedieoflaughter，andyouwanttoplaytheguardianangel；youwanttodoanobledeedandsaveme。Oh，howIhatemyselfto-day！Ifeelthatthistensionmustsoonberelievedinsomeway。EitherI
　　shallbreaksomething，orelse——
　　SASHA。Thatisexactlywhatyouneed。Letyourselfgo！Smashsomething；breakittopieces；giveayell！Youareangrywithme，itwasfoolishofmetocomehere。Verywell，then，getexcitedaboutit；stormatme；stampyourfeet！Well，aren’tyougettingangry？
　　IVANOFF。Youridiculousgirl！
　　SASHA。Splendid！Sowearesmilingatlast！Bekind，domethefavourofsmilingoncemore！
　　IVANOFF。[Laughing]Ihavenoticedthatwheneveryoustartreformingmeandsavingmysoul，andteachingmehowtobegood，yourfacegrowsnaive，ohsonaive，andyoureyesgrowaswideasifyouwerelookingatacomet。Waitamoment；yourshoulderiscoveredwithdust。[Hebrusheshershoulder]Anaivemanisnothingbetterthanafool，butyouwomencontrivetobenaiveinsuchawaythatinyouitseemssweet，andgentle，andproper，andnotassillyasitreallyis。Whatastrangewayyouhave，though，ofignoringamanaslongasheiswellandhappy，andfasteningyourselvestohimassoonashebeginstowhineandgodown-hill！Doyouactuallythinkitisworsetobethewifeofastrongmanthantonursesomewhimperinginvalid？
　　SASHA。Yes，itisworse。
　　IVANOFF。Whydoyouthinkso？[Laughingloudly]ItisagoodthingDarwincan’thearwhatyouaresaying！Hewouldbefuriouswithyoufordegradingthehumanrace。Soon，thankstoyourkindness，onlyinvalidsandhypochondriacswillbebornintotheworld。
　　SASHA。Thereareagreatmanythingsamancannotunderstand。Anygirlwouldratherloveanunfortunatemanthanafortunateone，becauseeverygirlwouldliketodosomethingbyloving。Amanhashisworktodo，andsoforhimloveiskeptinthebackground。Totalktohiswife，towalkwithherinthegarden，topassthetimepleasantlywithher，thatisallthatlovemeanstoaman。Butforus，lovemeanslife。Iloveyou；thatmeansthatIdreamonlyofhowIshallcureyouofyoursadness，howI
　　shallgowithyoutotheendsoftheearth。Ifyouareinheaven，Iaminheaven；ifyouareinthepit，Iaminthepit。Forinstance，itwouldbethegreatesthappinessformetowriteallnightforyou，ortowatchallnightthatnooneshouldwakeyou。
　　Irememberthatthreeyearsago，atthreshingtime，youcametousalldustyandsunburntandtired，andaskedforadrink。WhenIbroughtyouaglassofwateryouwerealreadylyingonthesofaandsleepinglikeadeadman。Yousleptthereforhalfaday，andallthattimeIwatchedbythedoorthatnooneshoulddisturbyou。HowhappyIwas！Themoreagirlcando，thegreaterherlovewillbe；thatis，Imean，themoreshefeelsitIVANOFF。Thelovethataccomplishesthings——hm——thatisafairytale，agirl’sdream；andyet，perhapsitisasitshouldbe。[Heshrugshisshoulders]HowcanItell？[Gaily]Onmyhonour，Sasha，Ireallyamquitearespectableman。Judgeforyourself：I
　　havealwayslikedtodiscussthings，butIhaveneverinmylifesaidthatourwomenwerecorrupt，orthatsuchandsuchawomanwasonthedown-hillpath。Ihavealwaysbeengrateful，andnothingmore。No，nothingmore。Dearchild，howcomicalyouare！
　　AndwhataridiculousoldstupidIam！IshockallgoodChristianfolk，andgoaboutcomplainingfrommorningtonight。[Helaughsandthenleaveshersuddenly]Butyoumustgo，Sasha；wehaveforgottenourselves。
　　SASHA。Yes，itistimetogo。Good-bye。IamafraidthatthathonestdoctorofyourswillhavetoldAnnaoutofasenseofdutythatIamhere。Takemyadvice：goatoncetoyourwifeandstaywithher。Stay，andstay，andstay，andifitshouldbeforayear，youmuststillstay，orfortenyears。Itisyourduty。Youmustrepent，andaskherforgiveness，andweep。Thatiswhatyououghttodo，andthegreatthingisnottoforgettodoright。
　　IVANOFF。AgainIfeelasifIweregoingcrazy；again！
　　SASHA。Well，heavenhelpyou！Youmustforgetmeentirely。IntwoweeksyoumustsendmealineandIshallbecontentwiththat。
　　ButIshallwritetoyou——
　　BORKINlooksinatthedoor。
　　BORKIN。Ivanoff，mayIcomein？[HeseesSASHA]Ibegyourpardon，Ididnotseeyou。Bonjour！[Hebows。]
　　SASHA。[Embarrassed]Howdoyoudo？
　　BORKIN。Youareplumperandprettierthanever。
　　SASHA。[ToIVANOFF]Imustgo，Nicholas，Imustgo。[Shegoesout。]
　　BORKIN。Whatabeautifulapparition！Icameexpectingproseandfoundpoetryinstead。[Sings]
　　"Youshowedyourselftotheworldasabird——-"
　　IVANOFFwalksexcitedlyupanddown。
　　BORKIN。[Sitsdown]Thereissomethinginher，Nicholas，thatonedoesn’tfindinotherwomen，isn’tthere？Anelfinstrangeness。
　　[Hesighs]Althoughsheiswithoutdoubttherichestgirlinthecountry，hermotherissostingythatnoonewillhaveher。Afterhermother’sdeathSashawillhavethewholefortune，butuntilthenshewillonlygivehertenthousandroublesandanoldflat-iron，andtogetthatshewillhavetohumbleherselftotheground。[Hefeelsinhispockets]Willyouhaveasmoke？[HeoffersIVANOFFhiscigarettecase]Theseareverygood。
　　IVANOFF。[ComestowardBORKINstifledwithrage]Leavemyhousethisinstant，anddon’tyoueverdaretosetfootinitagain！Gothisinstant！
　　BORKINgetsupanddropshiscigarette。
　　IVANOFF。Goatonce！
　　BORKIN。Nicholas，whatdoyoumean？Whyareyousoangry？
　　IVANOFF。Why！Wheredidyougetthosecigarettes？Where？YouthinkperhapsthatIdon’tknowwhereyoutaketheoldmaneveryday，andforwhatpurpose？
　　BORKIN。[Shrugshisshoulders]Whatbusinessisitofyours？
　　IVANOFF。Youblackguard，you！Thedisgracefulrumoursthatyouhavebeenspreadingaboutmehavemademedisreputableintheeyesofthewholecountryside。YouandIhavenothingincommon，andIaskyoutoleavemyhousethisinstant。
　　BORKIN。Iknowthatyouaresayingallthisinamomentofirritation，andsoIamnotangrywithyou。Insultmeasmuchasyouplease。[Hepicksuphiscigarette]Itistimethough，toshakeoffthismelancholyofyours；you’renotaschoolboy。
　　IVANOFF。WhatdidItellyou？[Shuddering]Areyoumakingfunofme？
　　EnterANNA。
　　BORKIN。Therenow，therecomesAnna！Ishallgo。
　　IVANOFFstopsnearthetableandstandswithhisheadbowed。
　　ANNA。[Afterapause]Whatdidshecomeherefor？Whatdidshecomeherefor，Iaskyou？
　　IVANOFF。Don’taskme，Annie。[Apause]Iamterriblyguilty。
　　Thinkofanypunishmentyouwanttoinflictonme；Icanstandanything，butdon’t，oh，don’taskquestions！
　　ANNA。[Angrily]Sothatisthesortofmanyouare？NowI
　　understandyou，andcanseehowdegraded，howdishonourableyouare！Doyourememberthatyoucametomeonceandliedtomeaboutyourlove？Ibelievedyou，andleftmymother，myfather，andmyfaithtofollowyou。Yes，youliedtomeofgoodnessandhonour，ofyournobleaspirationsandIbelievedeveryword——-
　　IVANOFF。Ihaveneverliedtoyou，Annie。
　　ANNA。Ihavelivedwithyoufiveyearsnow，andIamtiredandill，butIhavealwayslovedyouandhaveneverleftyouforamoment。Youhavebeenmyidol，andwhathaveyoudone？Allthistimeyouhavebeendeceivingmeinthemostdastardlyway——-
　　IVANOFF。Annie，don’tsaywhatisn’tso。Ihavemademistakes，butIhavenevertoldalieinmylife。Youdarenotaccusemeofthat！
　　ANNA。Itisallcleartomenow。Youmarriedmebecauseyouexpectedmymotherandfathertoforgivemeandgiveyoumymoney；thatiswhatyouexpected。
　　IVANOFF。GoodLord，Annie！IfImustsufferlikethis，Imusthavethepatiencetobearit。[Hebeginstoweep。]
　　ANNA。Bequiet！WhenyoufoundthatIwasn’tbringingyouanymoney，youtriedanothergame。NowIrememberandunderstandeverything。[Shebeginstocry]Youhaveneverlovedmeorbeenfaithfultome——never！
　　IVANOFF。Sarah！Thatisalie！Saywhatyouwant，butdon’tinsultmewithalie！
　　ANNA。Youdishonest，degradedman！YouowemoneytoLebedieff，andnow，toescapepayingyourdebts，youaretryingtoturntheheadofhisdaughterandbetrayherasyouhavebetrayedme。Canyoudenyit？
　　IVANOFF。[Stifledwithrage]Forheaven’ssake，bequiet！Ican’tanswerforwhatImaydo！IamchokingwithrageandI——Imightinsultyou！
　　ANNA。Iamnottheonlyonewhomyouhavebaselydeceived。YouhavealwaysblamedBorkinforallyourdishonesttricks，butnowIknowwhosetheyare。
　　IVANOFF。Sarah，stopatonceandgoaway，orelseIshallsaysomethingterrible。Ilongtosayadreadful，cruelthing[Heshrieks]Holdyourtongue，Jewess！
　　ANNA。Iwon’tholdmytongue！Youhavedeceivedmetoolongformetobesilentnow。
　　IVANOFF。Soyouwon’tbequiet？[Hestruggleswithhimself]Go，forheaven’ssake！
　　ANNA。Gonow，andbetraySasha！
　　IVANOFF。Knowthenthatyou——aredying！Thedoctortoldmethatyouaredying。
　　ANNA。[Sitsdownandspeaksinalowvoice]WhendidheIVANOFF。[Clutcheshisheadwithbothhands]Oh，howguiltyI
　　am——howguilty！[Hesobs。]
　　Thecurtainfalls。
　　Aboutayearpassesbetweenthethirdandfourthacts。
　　ACTIV
　　Asitting-roominLEBEDIEFF’Shouse。Inthemiddleofthewallatthebackoftheroomisanarchdividingthesitting-roomfromtheballroom。Totherightandleftaredoors。Someoldbronzesareplacedabouttheroom；familyportraitsarehangingonthewalls。Everythingisarrangedasifforsomefestivity。Onthepianoliesaviolin；nearitstandsavioloncello。Duringtheentireactguests，dressedasforaball，areseenwalkingaboutintheball-room。
　　EnterLVOFF，lookingathiswatch。
　　LVOFF。Itisfiveo’clock。Theceremonymusthavebegun。Firstthepriestwillblessthem，andthentheywillbeledtothechurchtobemarried。Isthishowvirtueandjusticetriumph？NotbeingabletorobSarah，hehastorturedhertodeath；andnowhehasfoundanothervictimwhomhewilldeceiveuntilhehasrobbedher，andthenhewillgetridofherashegotridofpoorSarah。
　　Itisthesameoldsordidstory。[Apause]Hewilllivetoafineoldageintheseventhheavenofhappiness，andwilldiewithaclearconscience。No，Ivanoff，itshallnotbe！Ishalldragyourvillainytolight！AndwhenItearoffthataccursedmaskofyoursandshowyoutotheworldastheblackguardyouare，youshallcomeplungingdownheadfirstfromyourseventhheaven，intoapitsodeepthatthedevilhimselfwillnotbeabletodragyououtofit！Iamamanofhonour；itismydutytointerfereinsuchcasesasyours，andtoopentheeyesoftheblind。Ishallfulfilmymission，andto-morrowwillfindmefarawayfromthisaccursedplace。[Thoughtfully]ButwhatshallIdo？TohaveanexplanationwithLebedieffwouldbeahopelesstask。ShallImakeascandal，andchallengeIvanofftoaduel？Iamasexcitedasachild，andhaveentirelylostthepowerofplanninganything。
　　WhatshallIdo？ShallIfightaduel？
　　EnterKOSICH。HegoesgailyuptoLVOFF。
　　KOSICH。Ideclaredalittleslaminclubsyesterday，andmadeagrandslam！OnlythatmanBarabanoffspoiltthewholegameformeagain。Wewereplaying——well，Isaid"Notrumps"andhesaid"Pass。""Twoinclubs，"hepassedagain。Imadeittwoinhearts。
　　Hesaid"Threeinclubs，"andjustimagine，canyou，whathappened？Ideclaredalittleslamandhenevershowedhisace！
　　Ifhehadshowedhisace，thevillain，Ishouldhavedeclaredagrandslaminnotrumps！
　　LVOFF。Excuseme，Idon’tplaycards，andsoitisimpossibleformetoshareyourenthusiasm。Whendoestheceremonybegin？
　　KOSICH。Atonce，Ithink。TheyarenowbringingZuzutoherselfagain。Sheisbellowinglikeabull；shecan’tbeartoseethemoneygo。
　　LVOFF。Andwhataboutthedaughter？
　　KOSICH。No，itisthemoney。Shedoesn’tlikethisaffairanyway。
　　Heismarryingherdaughter，andthatmeanshewon’tpayhisdebtsforalongtime。Onecan’tsueone’sson-in-law。
　　MARTHA，verymuchdressedup，strutsacrossthestagepastLVOFF
　　andKOSICH。Thelatterburstsoutlaughingbehindhishand。
　　MARTHAlooksaround。
　　MARTHA。Idiot！
　　KOSICHdigsherintheribsandlaughsloudly。
　　MARTHA。Boor！
　　KOSICH。[Laughing]Thewoman’sheadhasbeenturned。Beforeshefixedhereyeonatitleshewaslikeanyotherwoman，butthereisnocomingnearhernow！[Angrily]Aboor，indeed！
　　LVOFF。[Excitedly]Listentome；tellmehonestly，whatdoyouthinkofIvanoff？
　　KOSICH。He’snogoodatall。Heplayscardslikealunatic。ThisiswhathappenedlastyearduringLent：I，theCount，Borkinandhe，satdowntoagameofcards。Ileda——-
　　LVOFF[Interruptinghim]Isheagoodman？
　　KOSICH。He？Yes，he’sagoodone！HeandtheCountareapairoftrumps。Theyhavekeennosesforagoodgame。First，IvanoffsethisheartontheJewess，then，whenhisschemesfailedinthatquarter，heturnedhisthoughtstowardZuzu’smoney-bags。I’llwageryouhe’llruinZuzuinayear。HewillruinZuzu，andtheCountwillruinMartha。Theywillgatherupallthemoneytheycanlayhandson，andlivehappilyeverafter！But，doctor，whyareyousopaleto-day？Youlooklikeaghost。
　　LVOFF。Oh，it’snothing。Idrankalittletoomuchyesterday。
　　EnterLEBEDIEFFwithSASHA。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Wecanhaveourtalkhere。[ToLVOFFandKOSICH]Gointotheball-room，youtwooldfogies，andtalktothegirls。
　　SashaandIwanttotalkalonehere。
　　KOSICH。[SnappinghisfingersenthusiasticallyashegoesbySASHA]Whatapicture！Aqueenoftrumps！
　　LEBEDIEFF。Goalong，youoldcave-dweller；goalong。
　　KOSICHandLVOFFgoout。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Sitdown，Sasha，there——[Hesitsdownandlooksabouthim]Listentomeattentivelyandwithproperrespect。Thefactis，yourmotherhasaskedmetosaythis，doyouunderstand？Iamnotspeakingformyself。Yourmothertoldmetospeaktoyou。
　　SASHA。Papa，dosayitbriefly！
　　LEBEDIEFF。Whenyouaremarriedwemeantogiveyoufifteenthousandroubles。Pleasedon’tletushaveanydiscussionaboutitafterward。Wait，now！Bequiet！Thatisonlythebeginning。
　　Thebestisyettocome。Wehaveallottedyoufifteenthousandroubles，butinconsiderationofthefactthatNicholasowesyourmotherninethousand，thatsumwillhavetobedeductedfromtheamountwemeantogiveyou。Verywell。Now，besidethat——-
　　SASHA。Whydoyoutellmeallthis？
　　LEBEDIEFF。Yourmothertoldmeto。
　　SASHA。Leavemeinpeace！Ifyouhadanyrespectforyourselformeyoucouldnotpermityourselftospeaktomeinthisway。I
　　don’twantyourmoney！Ihavenotaskedforit，andnevershall。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Whatareyouattackingmefor？ThetworatsinGogol’sfablesniffedfirstandthenranaway，butyouattackwithoutevensniffing。
　　SASHA。Leavemeinpeace，anddonotoffendmyearswithyourtwo-pennycalculations。
　　LEBEDIEFF。[Losinghistemper]Bah！Youall，everyoneofyou，doallyoucantomakemecutmythroatorkillsomebody。Oneofyouscreechesandfussesalldayandcountseverypenny，andtheotherissocleverandhumaneandemancipatedthatshecannotunderstandherownfather！Ioffendyourears，doI？Don’tyourealisethatbeforeIcameheretooffendyourearsIwasbeingtorntopiecesoverthere，[Hepointstothedoor]literallydrawnandquartered？Soyoucannotunderstand？YoutwohaveaddledmybraintillIamutterlyatmywits’end；indeedIam！
　　[Hegoestowardthedoor，andstops]Idon’tlikethisbusinessatall；Idon’tlikeanythingaboutyou——
　　SASHA。Whatisit，especially，thatyoudon’tlike？
　　LEBEDIEFF。Everything，everything！
　　SASHA。Whatdoyoumeanbyeverything？
　　LEBEDIEFF。LetmeexplainexactlywhatImean。Everythingdispleasesme。Asforyourmarriage，Isimplycan’tabideit。[HegoesuptoSASHAandspeakscaressingly]Forgiveme，littleSasha，thismarriagemaybeawiseone；itmaybehonestandnotmisguided，nevertheless，thereissomethingaboutthewholeaffairthatisnotright；no，notright！Youarenotmarryingasothergirlsdo；youareyoungandfreshandpureasadropofwater，andheisawidower，batteredandworn。Heavenhelphim。I
　　don’tunderstandhimatall。[Hekisseshisdaughter]Forgivemeforsayingso，Sasha，butIamsurethereissomethingcrookedaboutthisaffair；itismakingagreatdealoftalk。ItseemspeoplearesayingthatfirstSarahdied，andthensuddenlyIvanoffwantedtomarryyou。[Quickly]But，no，Iamlikeanoldwoman；Iamgossipinglikeamagpie。Youmustnotlistentomeoranyone，onlytoyourownheart。
　　SASHA。Papa，Ifeelmyselfthatthereissomethingwrongaboutmymarriage。Somethingwrong，yes，wrong！Oh，ifyouonlyknewhowheavymyheartis；thisisunbearable！Iamfrightenedandashamedtoconfessthis；Papadarling，youmusthelpme，forheaven’ssake。Oh，can’tyoutellmewhatIshoulddo？
　　LEBEDIEFF。Whatisthematter，Sasha，whatisit？
　　SASHA。Iamsofrightened，morefrightenedthanIhaveeverbeenbefore。[Sheglancesaroundher]Icannotunderstandhimnow，andInevershall。Hehasnotsmiledorlookedstraightintomyeyesoncesincewehavebeenengaged。Heisforevercomplainingandapologisingforsomething；hintingatsomecrimeheisguiltyof，andtrembling。Iamsotired！ThereareevenmomentswhenI
　　think——Ithink——thatIdonotlovehimasIshould，andwhenhecomestoseeus，ortalkstome，Igetsotired！Whatdoesitmean，dearfather？Iamafraid。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Mydarling，myonlychild，doasyouroldfatheradvisesyou；givehimup！
　　SASHA。[Frightened]Oh！Howcanyousaythat？
　　LEBEDIEFF。Yes，doit，littleSasha！Itwillmakeascandal，allthetonguesinthecountrywillbewaggingaboutit，butitisbettertolivedownascandalthantoruinone’slife。
　　SASHA。Don’tsaythat，father。Oh，don’t。Irefusetolisten！I
　　mustcrushsuchgloomythoughts。Heisgoodandunhappyandmisunderstood。Ishalllovehimandlearntounderstandhim。I
　　shallsethimonhisfeetagain。Ishalldomyduty。Thatissettled。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Thisisnotyourduty，butadelusion——
　　SASHA。Wehavesaidenough。IhaveconfessedthingstoyouthatI
　　havenotdaredtoadmiteventomyself。Don’tspeakaboutthistoanyone。Letusforgetit。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Iamhopelesslypuzzled，andeithermymindisgoingfromoldageorelseyouhaveallgrownveryclever，butI’llbehangedifIunderstandthisbusinessatall。
　　EnterSHABELSKI。
　　SHABELSKI。Confoundyouallandmyself，too！Thisismaddening！
　　LEBEDIEFF。Whatdoyouwant？
　　SHABELSKISeriously，Imustreallydosomethinghorridandrascally，sothatnotonlyIbuteverybodyelsewillbedisgustedbyit。Icertainlyshallfindsomethingtodo，uponmywordI
　　shall！IhavealreadytoldBorkintoannouncethatIamtobemarried。[Helaughs]EverybodyisascoundrelandImustbeonetoo！
　　LEBEDIEFF。Iamtiredofyou，Matthew。Lookhere，manyoutalkinsuchawaythat，excusemysayingso，youwillsoonfindyourselfinalunaticasylum！
　　SHABELSKI。Couldalunaticasylumpossiblybeworsethanthishouse，oranyother？Kindlytakemethereatonce。Pleasedo！
　　Everybodyiswickedandfutileandworthlessandstupid；Iamanobjectofdisgusttomyself，Idon’tbelieveawordIsay————
　　LEBEDIEFF。Letmegiveyouapieceofadvice，oldman；fillyourmouthfulloftow，lightit，andblowateverybody。Or，betterstill，takeyourhatandgohome。Thisisawedding，weallwanttoenjoyourselvesandyouarecroakinglikearaven。Yes，really。
　　SHABELSKIleansonthepianoandbeginstosob。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Goodgracious，Matthew，Count！Whatisit，dearMatthew，oldfriend？HaveIoffendedyou？There，forgiveme；I
　　didn’tmeantohurtyou。Come，drinksomewater。
　　SHABELSKI。Idon’twantanywater。[Raiseshishead。]
　　LEBEDIEFF。Whatareyoucryingabout？
　　SHABELSKI。Nothinginparticular；Iwasjustcrying。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Matthew，tellmethetruth，whatisit？Whathashappened？
　　SHABELSKI。Icaughtsightofthatvioloncello，and——and——I
　　rememberedtheJewess。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Whatanunfortunatemomentyouhavechosentorememberher。Peacebewithher！Butdon’tthinkofhernow。
　　SHABELSKI。Weusedtoplayduetstogether。Shewasabeautiful，agloriouswoman。
　　SASHAsobs。
　　LEBEDIEFF。What，areyoucryingtoo？Stop，Sasha！Dearme，theyarebothhowlingnow，andI——andI——Dogoaway；theguestswillseeyou！
　　SHABELSKI。Paul，whenthesunisshining，itisgayeveninacemetery。Onecanbecheerfuleveninoldageifitislightedbyhope；butIhavenothingtohopefor——notathing！
　　LEBEDIEFF。Yes，itisrathersadforyou。Youhavenochildren，nomoney，nooccupation。Well，butwhatistheretobedoneaboutit？[ToSASHA]Whatisthematterwithyou，Sasha？
　　SHABELSKI。Paul，givemesomemoney。Iwillrepayyouinthenextworld。IwouldgotoParisandseemywife’sgrave。Ihavegivenawayagreatdealofmoneyinmylife，halfmyfortuneindeed，andIhavearighttoaskforsomenow。Besides，IamaskingafriendLEBEDIEFF。[Embarrassed]Mydearboy，Ihaven’tapenny。Allrightthough。Thatistosay，Ican’tpromiseanything，butyouunderstand——verywell，verywell。[Aside]Thisisagony！
　　EnterMARTHA。
　　MARTHA。Whereismypartner？Count，howdareyouleavemealone？
　　Youarehorrid！[ShetapsSHABELSKIonthearmwithherfan]
　　SHABELSKI。[Impatiently]Leavemealone！Ican’tabideyou！
　　MARTHA。[Frightened]How？What？
　　SHABELSKI。Goaway！
　　MARTHA。[Sinksintoanarm-chair]Oh！Oh！Oh！[Sheburstsintotears。]
　　EnterZINAIDAcrying。
　　ZINAIDA。Someonehasjustarrived；itmustbeoneoftheushers。
　　Itistimefortheceremonytobegin。
　　SASHA。[Imploringly]Mother！
　　LEBEDIEFF。Well，nowyouareallbawling。Whataquartette！Come，come，don’tletushaveanymoreofthisdampness！Matthew！
　　Martha！Ifyougoonlikethis，I——I——shallcrytoo。[Burstsintotears]Heavens！
　　ZINAIDA。Ifyoudon’tneedyourmotheranymore，ifyouaredeterminednottoobeyher，Ishallhavetodoasyouwant，andyouhavemyblessing。
　　EnterIVANOFF，dressedinalongcoat，withgloveson。
　　LEBEDIEFFThisisthefinishingtouch！Whatdoyouwant？
　　SHABELSKI。Whyareyouhere？
　　IVANOFF。Ibegyourpardon，youmustallowmetospeaktoSashaalone。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Thebridegroommustnotcometoseethebridebeforethewedding。Itistimeforyoutogotothechurch。
　　IVANOFF。Paul，Iimploreyou。
　　LEBEDIEFFshrugshisshoulders。LEBEDIEFF，ZINAIDA，SHABELSKI，andMARTHAgoout。
　　SASHA。[Sternly]Whatdoyouwant？
　　IVANOFF。Iamchokingwithanger；Icannotspeakcalmly。Listentome；asIwasdressingjustnowforthewedding，Ilookedintheglassandsawhowgreymytempleswere。Sasha，thismustnotbe！Letusendthissenselesscomedybeforeitistoolate。Youareyoungandpure；youhaveallyourlifebeforeyou，butI——-
　　SASHA。Thesameoldstory；IhavehearditathousandtimesandI
　　amtiredofit。Goquicklytothechurchanddon’tkeepeverybodywaiting！
　　IVANOFF。Ishallgostraighthome，andyoumustexplaintoyourfamilysomehowthatthereistobenowedding。Explainitasyouplease。Itistimewecametooursenses。IhavebeenplayingthepartofHamletandyouhavebeenplayingthepartofanobleanddevotedgirl。Wehavekeptupthefarcelongenough。
　　SASHA。[Losinghertemper]Howcanyouspeaktomelikethis？I
　　won’thaveit。
　　IVANOFF。ButIamspeaking，andwillcontinuetospeak。
　　SASHA。Whatdoyoumeanbycomingtomelikethis？Yourmelancholyhasbecomeabsolutelyridiculous！
　　IVANOFF。No，thisisnotmelancholy。Itisridiculous，isit？
　　Yes，Iamlaughing，andifitwerepossibleformetolaughatmyselfathousandtimesmorebitterlyIshoulddosoandsetthewholeworldlaughing，too，inderision。Afiercelighthassuddenlybrokenovermysoul；asIlookedintotheglassjustnow，Ilaughedatmyself，andnearlywentmadwithshame。[Helaughs]Melancholyindeed！Noblegrief！Uncontrollablesorrow！Itonlyremainsformenowtobegintowriteverses！ShallImopeandcomplain，saddeneverybodyImeet，confessthatmymanhoodhasgoneforever，thatIhavedecayed，outlivedmypurpose，thatIhavegivenmyselfuptocowardiceandamboundhandandfootbythisloathsomemelancholy？ShallIconfessallthiswhenthesunisshiningsobrightlyandwheneventheantsarecarryingtheirlittleburdensinpeacefulself-content？No，thanks。CanIenduretheknowledgethatonewilllookuponmeasafraud，whileanotherpitiesme，athirdlendsmeahelpinghand，orworstofall，afourthlistensreverentlytomysighs，looksuponmeasanewMahomet，andexpectsmetoexpoundanewreligioneverymoment？No，thankGodfortheprideandconsciencehehasleftmestill。OnmywayhereIlaughedatmyself，anditseemedtomethattheflowersandbirdswerelaughingmockinglytoo。
　　SASHA。Thisisnotanger，butmadness！
　　IVANOFF。Youthinkso，doyou？No，Iamnotmad。Iseethingsintheirrightlightnow，andmymindisasclearasyourconscience。Weloveeachother，butweshallneverbemarried。ItmakesnodifferencehowIraveandgrowbitterbymyself，butI
　　havenorighttodraganotherdownwithme。Mymelancholyrobbedmywifeofthelastyearofherlife。Sinceyouhavebeenengagedtomeyouhaveforgottenhowtolaughandhaveagedfiveyears。
　　Yourfather，towhomlifewasalwayssimpleandclear，thankstome，isnowunabletounderstandanybody。WhereverIgo，whetherhuntingorvisiting，itmakesnodifference，Icarrydepression，dulness，anddiscontentalongwithme。Wait！Don’tinterruptme！
　　Iambitterandharsh，Iknow，butIamstifledwithrage。I
　　cannotspeakotherwise。Ihaveneverlied，andIneverusedtofindfaultwithmylot，butsinceIhavebeguntocomplainofeverything，Ifindfaultwithitinvoluntarily，andagainstmywill。WhenImurmuratmyfateeveryonewhohearsmeisseizedwiththesamedisgustoflifeandbeginstogrumbletoo。AndwhatastrangewayIhaveoflookingatthings！ExactlyasifIweredoingtheworldafavourbylivinginit。Oh，Iamcontemptible。
　　SASHA。Waitamoment。Fromwhatyouhavejustsaid，itisobviousthatyouaretiredofyourmelancholymood，andthatthetimehascomeforyoutobeginlifeafresh。Howsplendid！
　　IVANOFF。Idon’tseeanythingsplendidaboutit。HowcanIleadanewlife？Iamlostforever。Itistimewebothunderstoodthat。
　　Anewlifeindeed！
　　SASHA。Nicholas，cometoyoursenses。Howcanyousayyouarelost？Whatdoyoumeanbysuchcynicism？No，Iwon’tlistentoyouortalkwithyou。Gotothechurch！
　　IVANOFF。Iamlost！
　　SASHA。Don’ttalksoloud；ourguestswillhearyou！
　　IVANOFF。Ifanintelligent，educated，andhealthymanbeginstocomplainofhislotandgodown-hill，thereisnothingforhimtodobuttogoondownuntilhereachesthebottom——thereisnohopeforhim。Wherecouldmysalvationcomefrom？HowcanIsavemyself？Icannotdrink，becauseitmakesmyheadache。Inevercouldwritebadpoetry。Icannotprayforstrengthandseeanythingloftyinthelanguorofmysoul。Lazinessislazinessandweaknessweakness。Icanfindnoothernamesforthem。Iamlost，Iamlost；thereisnodoubtofthat。[Lookingaround]Someonemightcomein；listen，Sasha，ifyoulovemeyoumusthelpme。Renouncemethisminute；quickly！
　　SASHA。Oh，Nicholas！Ifyouonlyknewhowyouaretorturingme；
　　whatagonyIhavetoendureforyoursake！Goodthoughtfulfriend，judgeforyourself；canIpossiblysolvesuchaproblem？
　　Eachdayyouputsomehorribleproblembeforeme，eachonemoredifficultthanthelast。Iwantedtohelpyouwithmylove，butthisismartyrdom！
　　IVANOFF。Andwhenyouaremywifetheproblemswillbeharderthanever。Understandthis：itisnotlovethatisurgingyoutotakethisstep，buttheobstinacyofanhonestnature。Youhaveundertakentoreawakenthemaninmeandtosavemeinthefaceofeverydifficulty，andyouareflatteredbythehopeofachievingyourobject。Youarewillingtogiveupnow，butyouarepreventedfromdoingitbyafeelingthatisafalseone。
　　Understandyourself！
　　SASHA。Whatstrange，wildreasoning！HowcanIgiveyouupnow？
　　HowcanI？Youhavenomother，orsister，orfriends。Youareruined；yourestatehasbeendestroyed；everyoneisspeakingillofyou——
　　IVANOFF。Itwasfoolishofmetocomehere；IshouldhavedoneasIwantedto——
　　EnterLEBEDIEFF。
　　SASHA。[Runningtoherfather]Father！Hehasrushedoverherelikeamadman，andistorturingme！HeinsiststhatIshouldrefusetomarryhim；hesayshedoesn’twanttodragmedownwithhim。TellhimthatIwon’taccepthisgenerosity。IknowwhatI
　　amdoing！
　　LEBEDIEFF。Ican’tunderstandawordofwhatyouaresaying。Whatgenerosity？
　　IVANOFF。Thismarriageisnotgoingtotakeplace。
　　SASHA。Itisgoingtotakeplace。Papa，tellhimthatitisgoingtotakeplace。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Wait！Wait！Whatobjectionhaveyoutothemarriage？
　　IVANOFF。Ihaveexplaineditalltoher，butsherefusestounderstandme。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Don’texplainittoher，buttome，andexplainitsothatImayunderstand。Godforgiveyou，Nicholas，youhavebroughtagreatdealofdarknessintoourlives。IfeelasifI
　　werelivinginamuseum；Ilookaboutmeanddon’tunderstandanythingIsee。Thisistorture。Whatonearthcananoldmanlikemedowithyou？ShallIchallengeyoutoaduel？
　　IVANOFF。Thereisnoneedofaduel。AllyouneedisaheadonyourshouldersandaknowledgeoftheRussianlanguage。
　　SASHA。[Walksupanddowningreatexcitement]Thisisdreadful，dreadful！Absolutelychildish。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Listentome，Nicholas；fromyourpointofviewwhatyouaredoingisquiterightandproper，accordingtotherulesofpsychology，butIthinkthisaffairisascandalandagreatmisfortune。Iamanoldman；hearmeoutforthelasttime。ThisiswhatIwanttosaytoyou：calmyourself；lookatthingssimply，aseveryoneelsedoes；thisisasimpleworld。Theceilingiswhite；yourbootsareblack；sugarissweet。YouloveSashaandshelovesyou。Ifyouloveher，staywithher；ifyoudon’t，leaveher。Weshan’tblameyou。Itisallperfectlysimple。Youaretwohealthy，intelligent，moralyoungpeople；
　　thankGod，youbothhavefoodandclothing——whatmoredoyouwant？Whatifyouhavenomoney？Thatisnogreatmisfortune——happinessisnotboughtwithwealth。Ofcourseyourestateismortgaged，Nicholas，asIknow，andyouhavenomoneytopaytheinterestonthedebt，butIamSasha’sfather。I
　　understand。Hermothercandoasshelikes——ifshewon’tgiveanymoney，why，confoundher，thensheneedn’t，that’sall！Sashahasjustsaidthatshedoesnotwantherpartofit。Asforyourprinciples，Schopenhauerandallthat，itisallfolly。Ihaveonehundredthousandroublesinthebank。[Lookingaroundhim]
　　Notasoulinthehouseknowsit；itwasmygrandmother’smoney。
　　Thatshallbeforyouboth。Takeit，giveMatthewtwothousand——
　　[Theguestsbegintocollectintheball-room]。
　　IVANOFF。Itisnousediscussingitanymore，Imustactasmyconsciencebidsme。
　　SASHA。AndIshallactasmyconsciencebidsme——youmaysaywhatyouplease；Irefusetoletyougo！Iamgoingtocallmymother。
　　LEBEDIEFF。Iamutterlypuzzled。
　　IVANOFF。Listentome，pooroldfriend。Ishallnottrytoexplainmyselftoyou。IshallnottellyouwhetherIamhonestorarascal，healthyormad；youwouldn’tunderstandme。Iwasyoungonce；Ihavebeeneagerandsincereandintelligent。Ihavelovedandhatedandbelievedasnooneelsehas。Ihaveworkedandhopedandtiltedagainstwindmillswiththestrengthoften——notsparingmystrength，notknowingwhatlifewas。I
　　shoulderedaloadthatbrokemyback。Idrank，Iworked，I
　　excitedmyself，myenergyknewnobounds。Tellme，couldIhavedoneotherwise？Therearesofewofusandsomuchtodo，somuchtodo！Andseehowcruellyfatehasrevengedherselfonme，whofoughtwithhersobravely！Iamabrokenman。Iamoldatthirty。Ihavesubmittedmyselftooldage。Withaheavyheadandasluggishmind，weary，usedup，discouraged，withoutfaithorloveoranobjectinlife，Iwanderlikeashadowamongothermen，notknowingwhyIamaliveorwhatitisthatIwant。Loveseemstometobefolly，caressesfalse。Iseenosenseinworkingorplaying，andallpassionatespeechesseeminsipidandtiresome。SoIcarrymysadnesswithmewhereverIgo；acoldweariness，adiscontent，ahorroroflife。Yes，Iamlostforeverandever。Beforeyoustandsamanwhoatthirty-fiveisdisillusioned，weariedbyfruitlessefforts，burningwithshame，andmockingathisownweakness。Oh，howmypriderebelsagainstitall！Whatmadfurychokesme！[Hestaggers]Iamstaggering——mystrengthisfailingme。WhereisMatthew？Lethimtakemehome。
　　[Voicesfromtheball-room]Thebestmanhasarrived！
　　EnterSHABELSKI。
　　SHABELSKI。Inanoldworn-outcoat——withoutgloves！HowmanyscornfulglancesIgetforit！Suchsillyjokesandvulgargrins！
　　Disgustingpeople。
　　EnterBORKINquickly。Heiscarryingabunchofflowersandisinadress-coat。Hewearsaflowerinhisbuttonhole。
　　BORKIN。Thisisdreadful！Whereishe？[ToIVANOFF]Theyhavebeenwaitingforyouforalongtimeinthechurch，andhereyouaretalkingphilosophy！Whatafunnychapyouare。Don’tyouknowyoumustnotgotochurchwiththebride，butalone，withme？I
　　shallthencomebackforher。Isitpossibleyouhavenotunderstoodthat？Youcertainlyareanextraordinaryman！
　　EnterLVOFF。
　　LVOFF。[ToIVANOFF]Ah！Soyouarehere？[Loudly]NicholasIvanoff，Idenounceyoutotheworldasascoundrel！
　　IVANOFF。[Coldly]Manythanks！
　　BORKIN。[ToLVOFF]Sir，thisisdastardly！Ichallengeyoutoaduel！
　　LVOFF。MonsieurBorkin，Icountitadisgracenotonlytofightwithyou，buteventotalktoyou！MonsieurIvanoff，however，canreceivesatisfactionfrommewheneverhechooses！
　　SHABELSKI。Sir，Ishallfightyou！
　　SASHA。[ToLVOFF]Why，ohwhy，haveyouinsultedhim？Gentlemen，Ibegyou，lethimtellmewhyhehasinsultedhim。
　　LVOFF。MissSasha，Ihavenotinsultedhimwithoutcause。Icamehereasamanofhonour，toopenyoureyes，andIbegyoutolistentowhatIhavetotellyou。
　　SASHA。Whatcanyoupossiblyhavetotellme？Thatyouareamanofhonour？Thewholeworldknowsit。Youhadbettertellmeonyourhonourwhetheryouunderstandwhatyouhavedoneornot。Youhavecomeinhereasamanofhonourandhaveinsultedhimsoterriblythatyouhavenearlykilledme。Whenyouusedtofollowhimlikeashadowandalmostkeephimfromliving，youwereconvincedthatyouweredoingyourdutyandthatyouwereactinglikeamanofhonour。Whenyouinterferedinhisprivateaffairs，malignedhimandcriticisedhim；whenyousentmeandwhomeverelseyoucould，anonymousletters，youimaginedyourselftobeanhonourableman！And，thinkingthatthattoowashonourable，you，adoctor，didnotevensparehisdyingwifeorgiveheramoment’speacefromyoursuspicions。Andnomatterwhatviolence，whatcruelwrongyoucommitted，youstillimaginedyourselftobeanunusuallyhonourableandclear-sightedman。
　　IVANOFF。[Laughing]Thisisnotawedding，butaparliament！
　　Bravo！Bravo！
　　SASHA。[ToLVOFF]Now，thinkitover！Doyouseewhatsortofamanyouare，ornot？Oh，thestupid，heartlesspeople！[TakesIVANOFFbythehand]ComeawayfromhereNicholas！Come，father，letusgo！
　　IVANOFF。Whereshallwego？Waitamoment。Ishallsoonputanendtothewholething。Myyouthisawakeinmeagain；theformerIvanoffishereoncemore。
　　[Hetakesoutarevolver。]
　　SASHA。[Shrieking]Iknowwhathewantstodo！Nicholas，forGod’ssake！
　　IVANOFF。Ihavebeenslippingdown-hilllongenough。Now，halt！
　　Itistimetoknowwhathonouris。Outoftheway！Thankyou，Sasha！
　　SASHA。[Shrieking]Nicholas！ForGod’ssakeholdhim！
　　IVANOFF。Letgo！[Herushesaside，andshootshimself。]
　　Thecurtainfalls。