BynotingoftheladyIhavemark’dAthousandblushingapparitionsTostartintoherface，athousandinnocentshamesInangelwhitenessbeatawaythoseblushes；
　　Andinhereyetherehathappear’dafire，ToburntheerrorsthattheseprincesholdAgainsthermaidentruth。Callmeafool；
　　Trustnotmyreadingnormyobservations，WhichwithexperimentalsealdothwarrantThetenorofmybook；trustnotmyage，Myreverence，calling，nordivinity，IfthissweetladylienotguiltlesshereUndersomebitingerror。LEONATOFriar，itcannotbe。
　　ThouseestthatallthegracethatshehathleftIsthatshewillnotaddtoherdamnationAsinofperjury；shenotdeniesit：
　　Whyseek’stthouthentocoverwithexcuseThatwhichappearsinpropernakedness？FRIARFRANCISLady，whatmanisheyouareaccusedof？HEROTheyknowthatdoaccuseme；Iknownone：
　　IfIknowmoreofanymanaliveThanthatwhichmaidenmodestydothwarrant，Letallmysinslackmercy！Omyfather，ProveyouthatanymanwithmeconversedAthoursunmeet，orthatIyesternightMaintain’dthechangeofwordswithanycreature，Refuseme，hateme，torturemetodeath！FRIARFRANCISThereissomestrangemisprisionintheprinces。BENEDICKTwoofthemhavetheverybentofhonour；
　　Andiftheirwisdomsbemisledinthis，ThepractiseofitlivesinJohnthebastard，Whosespiritstoilinframeofvillanies。LEONATOIknownot。Iftheyspeakbuttruthofher，Thesehandsshalltearher；iftheywrongherhonour，Theproudestofthemshallwellhearofit。
　　Timehathnotyetsodriedthisbloodofmine，Noragesoeatupmyinvention，Norfortunemadesuchhavocofmymeans，Normybadlifereftmesomuchoffriends，Buttheyshallfind，awakedinsuchakind，Bothstrengthoflimbandpolicyofmind，Abilityinmeansandchoiceoffriends，Toquitmeofthemthroughly。FRIARFRANCISPauseawhile，Andletmycounselswayyouinthiscase。
　　Yourdaughterheretheprincesleftfordead：
　　Letherawhilebesecretlykeptin，Andpublishitthatsheisdeadindeed；
　　MaintainamourningostentationAndonyourfamily’soldmonumentHangmournfulepitaphsanddoallritesThatappertainuntoaburial。LEONATOWhatshallbecomeofthis？whatwillthisdo？FRIARFRANCISMarry，thiswellcarriedshallonherbehalfChangeslandertoremorse；thatissomegood：
　　ButnotforthatdreamIonthisstrangecourse，Butonthistravaillookforgreaterbirth。
　　Shedying，asitmustsobemaintain’d，Upontheinstantthatshewasaccused，Shallbelamented，pitiedandexcusedOfeveryhearer：foritsofallsoutThatwhatwehaveweprizenottotheworthWhilesweenjoyit，butbeinglack’dandlost，Why，thenwerackthevalue，thenwefindThevirtuethatpossessionwouldnotshowusWhilesitwasours。SowillitfarewithClaudio：
　　Whenheshallhearshedieduponhiswords，TheideaofherlifeshallsweetlycreepIntohisstudyofimagination，AndeverylovelyorganofherlifeShallcomeapparell’dinmoreprecioushabit，Moremoving-delicateandfulloflife，Intotheeyeandprospectofhissoul，Thanwhenshelivedindeed；thenshallhemourn，Ifeverlovehadinterestinhisliver，Andwishhehadnotsoaccusedher，No，thoughhethoughthisaccusationtrue。
　　Letthisbeso，anddoubtnotbutsuccessWillfashiontheeventinbettershapeThanIcanlayitdowninlikelihood。
　　Butifallaimbutthisbelevell’dfalse，Thesuppositionofthelady’sdeathWillquenchthewonderofherinfamy：
　　Andifitsortnotwell，youmayconcealher，Asbestbefitsherwoundedreputation，Insomereclusiveandreligiouslife，Outofalleyes，tongues，mindsandinjuries。BENEDICKSigniorLeonato，letthefriaradviseyou：
　　AndthoughyouknowmyinwardnessandloveIsverymuchuntotheprinceandClaudio，Yet，byminehonour，IwilldealinthisAssecretlyandjustlyasyoursoulShouldwithyourbody。LEONATOBeingthatIflowingrief，Thesmallesttwinemayleadme。FRIARFRANCIS’Tiswellconsented：presentlyaway；
　　Fortostrangesoresstrangelytheystrainthecure。
　　Come，lady，dietolive：thiswedding-dayPerhapsisbutprolong’d：havepatienceandendure。
　　ExeuntallbutBENEDICKandBEATRICEBENEDICKLadyBeatrice，haveyouweptallthiswhile？BEATRICEYea，andIwillweepawhilelonger。BENEDICKIwillnotdesirethat。BEATRICEYouhavenoreason；Idoitfreely。BENEDICKSurelyIdobelieveyourfaircousiniswronged。BEATRICEAh，howmuchmightthemandeserveofmethatwouldrighther！BENEDICKIsthereanywaytoshowsuchfriendship？BEATRICEAveryevenway，butnosuchfriend。BENEDICKMayamandoit？BEATRICEItisaman’soffice，butnotyours。BENEDICKIdolovenothingintheworldsowellasyou：isnotthatstrange？BEATRICEAsstrangeasthethingIknownot。ItwereaspossibleformetosayIlovednothingsowellasyou：butbelievemenot；andyetIlienot；I
　　confessnothing，norIdenynothing。Iamsorryformycousin。BENEDICKBymysword，Beatrice，thoulovestme。BEATRICEDonotswear，andeatit。BENEDICKIwillswearbyitthatyouloveme；
　　andIwillmakehimeatitthatsaysIlovenotyou。BEATRICEWillyounoteatyourword？BENEDICKWithnosaucethatcanbedevisedtoit。IprotestIlovethee。BEATRICEWhy，then，Godforgiveme！BENEDICKWhatoffence，sweetBeatrice？BEATRICEYouhavestayedmeinahappyhour：I
　　wasabouttoprotestIlovedyou。BENEDICKAnddoitwithallthyheart。BEATRICEIloveyouwithsomuchofmyheartthatnoneislefttoprotest。BENEDICKCome，bidmedoanythingforthee。BEATRICEKillClaudio。BENEDICKHa！notforthewideworld。BEATRICEYoukillmetodenyit。Farewell。BENEDICKTarry，sweetBeatrice。BEATRICEIamgone，thoughIamhere：thereisnoloveinyou：nay，Iprayyou，letmego。BENEDICKBeatrice，——BEATRICEInfaith，Iwillgo。BENEDICKWe’llbefriendsfirst。BEATRICEYoudareeasierbefriendswithmethanfightwithmineenemy。BENEDICKIsClaudiothineenemy？BEATRICEIshenotapprovedintheheightavillain，thathathslandered，scorned，dishonouredmykinswoman？
　　O
　　thatIwereaman！What，bearherinhanduntiltheycometotakehands；andthen，withpublicaccusation，uncoveredslander，unmitigatedrancour，——OGod，thatIwereaman！Iwouldeathisheartinthemarket-place。BENEDICKHearme，Beatrice，——BEATRICETalkwithamanoutatawindow！Apropersaying！BENEDICKNay，but，Beatrice，——BEATRICESweetHero！Sheiswronged，sheisslandered，sheisundone。BENEDICKBeat——BEATRICEPrincesandcounties！Surely，aprincelytestimony，agoodlycount，CountComfect；asweetgallant，surely！OthatIwereamanforhissake！orthatI
　　hadanyfriendwouldbeamanformysake！Butmanhoodismeltedintocourtesies，valourintocompliment，andmenareonlyturnedintotongue，andtrimonestoo：heisnowasvaliantasHerculesthatonlytellsalieandswearsit。Icannotbeamanwithwishing，thereforeIwilldieawomanwithgrieving。BENEDICKTarry，goodBeatrice。Bythishand，I
　　lovethee。BEATRICEUseitformylovesomeotherwaythanswearingbyit。BENEDICKThinkyouinyoursoultheCountClaudiohathwrongedHero？BEATRICEYea，assureasIhaveathoughtorasoul。BENEDICKEnough，Iamengaged；Iwillchallengehim。Iwillkissyourhand，andsoIleaveyou。Bythishand，Claudioshallrendermeadearaccount。Asyouhearofme，sothinkofme。Go，comfortyourcousin：Imustsaysheisdead：andso，farewell。
　　ExeuntSCENEII。Aprison。EnterDOGBERRY，VERGES，andSexton，ingowns；andtheWatch，withCONRADEandBORACHIODOGBERRYIsourwholedissemblyappeared？VERGESO，astoolandacushionforthesexton。SextonWhichbethemalefactors？DOGBERRYMarry，thatamIandmypartner。VERGESNay，that’scertain；wehavetheexhibitiontoexamine。SextonButwhicharetheoffendersthataretobeexamined？letthemcomebeforemasterconstable。DOGBERRYYea，marry，letthemcomebeforeme。Whatisyourname，friend？BORACHIOBorachio。DOGBERRYPray，writedown，Borachio。Yours，sirrah？CONRADEIamagentleman，sir，andmynameisConrade。DOGBERRYWritedown，mastergentlemanConrade。
　　Masters，doyouserveGod？CONRADEBORACHIOYea，sir，wehope。DOGBERRYWritedown，thattheyhopetheyserveGod：andwriteGodfirst；forGoddefendbutGodshouldgobeforesuchvillains！Masters，itisprovedalreadythatyouarelittlebetterthanfalseknaves；
　　anditwillgoneartobethoughtsoshortly。Howansweryouforyourselves？CONRADEMarry，sir，wesaywearenone。DOGBERRYAmarvellouswittyfellow，Iassureyou：
　　butI
　　willgoaboutwithhim。Comeyouhither，sirrah；
　　awordinyourear：sir，Isaytoyou，itisthoughtyouarefalseknaves。BORACHIOSir，Isaytoyouwearenone。DOGBERRYWell，standaside。’ForeGod，theyarebothinatale。Haveyouwritdown，thattheyarenone？SextonMasterconstable，yougonotthewaytoexamine：
　　youmustcallforththewatchthataretheiraccusers。DOGBERRYYea，marry，that’stheeftestway。Letthewatchcomeforth。Masters，Ichargeyou，intheprince’sname，accusethesemen。FirstWatchmanThismansaid，sir，thatDonJohn，theprince’sbrother，wasavillain。DOGBERRYWritedownPrinceJohnavillain。Why，thisisflatperjury，tocallaprince’sbrothervillain。BORACHIOMasterconstable，——DOGBERRYPraythee，fellow，peace：Idonotlikethylook，Ipromisethee。SextonWhatheardyouhimsayelse？SecondWatchmanMarry，thathehadreceivedathousandducatsofDonJohnforaccusingtheLadyHerowrongfully。DOGBERRYFlatburglaryaseverwascommitted。VERGESYea，bymass，thatitis。SextonWhatelse，fellow？FirstWatchmanAndthatCountClaudiodidmean，uponhiswords，todisgraceHerobeforethewholeassembly。andnotmarryher。DOGBERRYOvillain！thouwiltbecondemnedintoeverlastingredemptionforthis。SextonWhatelse？WatchmanThisisall。SextonAndthisismore，masters，thanyoucandeny。
　　PrinceJohnisthismorningsecretlystolenaway；
　　Herowasinthismanneraccused，inthisverymannerrefused，anduponthegriefofthissuddenlydied。
　　Masterconstable，letthesemenbebound，andbroughttoLeonato’s：Iwillgobeforeandshowhimtheirexamination。
　　ExitDOGBERRYCome，letthembeopinioned。VERGESLetthembeinthehands——CONRADEOff，coxcomb！DOGBERRYGod’smylife，where’sthesexton？lethimwritedowntheprince’sofficercoxcomb。Come，bindthem。
　　Thounaughtyvarlet！CONRADEAway！youareanass，youareanass。DOGBERRYDostthounotsuspectmyplace？dostthounotsuspectmyyears？Othathewereheretowritemedownanass！But，masters，rememberthatIamanass；thoughitbenotwrittendown，yetforgetnotthatIamanass。No，thouvillain，thouartfullofpiety，asshallbeprovedupontheebygoodwitness。
　　Iamawisefellow，and，whichismore，anofficer，and，whichismore，ahouseholder，and，whichismore，asprettyapieceoffleshasanyisinMessina，andonethatknowsthelaw，goto；andarichfellowenough，goto；andafellowthathathhadlosses，andonethathathtwogownsandeverythinghandsomeabouthim。Bringhimaway。OthatIhadbeenwritdownanass！
　　ExeuntACTVSCENEI。BeforeLEONATO’Shouse。EnterLEONATOandANTONIOANTONIOIfyougoonthus，youwillkillyourself：
　　And’tisnotwisdomthustosecondgriefAgainstyourself。LEONATOIpraythee，ceasethycounsel，WhichfallsintomineearsasprofitlessAswaterinasieve：givenotmecounsel；
　　NorletnocomforterdelightmineearButsuchaonewhosewrongsdosuitwithmine。
　　Bringmeafatherthatsolovedhischild，Whosejoyofherisoverwhelm’dlikemine，Andbidhimspeakofpatience；
　　MeasurehiswoethelengthandbreadthofmineAndletitanswereverystrainforstrain，Asthusforthusandsuchagriefforsuch，Ineverylineament，branch，shape，andform：
　　Ifsuchaonewillsmileandstrokehisbeard，Bidsorrowwag，cry’hem！’whenheshouldgroan，Patchgriefwithproverbs，makemisfortunedrunkWithcandle-wasters；bringhimyettome，AndIofhimwillgatherpatience。
　　Butthereisnosuchman：for，brother，menCancounselandspeakcomforttothatgriefWhichtheythemselvesnotfeel；but，tastingit，Theircounselturnstopassion，whichbeforeWouldgivepreceptialmedicinetorage，Fetterstrongmadnessinasilkenthread，Charmachewithairandagonywithwords：
　　No，no；’tisallmen’sofficetospeakpatienceTothosethatwringundertheloadofsorrow，Butnoman’svirtuenorsufficiencyTobesomoralwhenheshallendureThelikehimself。Thereforegivemenocounsel：
　　Mygriefscrylouderthanadvertisement。ANTONIOThereindomenfromchildrennothingdiffer。LEONATOIpraythee，peace。Iwillbefleshandblood；
　　FortherewasneveryetphilosopherThatcouldendurethetoothachepatiently，HowevertheyhavewritthestyleofgodsAndmadeapushatchanceandsufferance。ANTONIOYetbendnotalltheharmuponyourself；
　　Makethosethatdooffendyousuffertoo。LEONATOTherethouspeak’streason：nay，Iwilldoso。
　　MysouldothtellmeHeroisbelied；
　　AndthatshallClaudioknow；soshalltheprinceAndallofthemthatthusdishonourher。ANTONIOHerecomestheprinceandClaudiohastily。
　　EnterDONPEDROandCLAUDIODONPEDROGoodden，goodden。CLAUDIOGooddaytobothofyou。LEONATOHearyou。mylords，——DONPEDROWehavesomehaste，Leonato。LEONATOSomehaste，mylord！well，fareyouwell，mylord：
　　Areyousohastynow？well，allisone。DONPEDRONay，donotquarrelwithus，goodoldman。ANTONIOIfhecouldrighthimselfwithquarreling，Someofuswouldlielow。CLAUDIOWhowrongshim？LEONATOMarry，thoudostwrongme；thoudissembler，thou：——
　　Nay，neverlaythyhanduponthysword；
　　Ifeartheenot。CLAUDIOMarry，beshrewmyhand，Ifitshouldgiveyouragesuchcauseoffear：
　　Infaith，myhandmeantnothingtomysword。LEONATOTush，tush，man；neverfleerandjestatme：
　　Ispeaknotlikeadotardnorafool，AsunderprivilegeofagetobragWhatIhavedonebeingyoung，orwhatwoulddoWereInotold。Know，Claudio，tothyhead，Thouhastsowrong’dmineinnocentchildandmeThatIamforcedtolaymyreverencebyAnd，withgreyhairsandbruiseofmanydays，Dochallengetheetotrialofaman。
　　Isaythouhastbeliedmineinnocentchild；
　　Thyslanderhathgonethroughandthroughherheart，Andsheliesburiedwithherancestors；
　　O，inatombwhereneverscandalslept，Savethisofhers，framedbythyvillany！CLAUDIOMyvillany？LEONATOThine，Claudio；thine，Isay。DONPEDROYousaynotright，oldman。LEONATOMylord，mylord，I’llproveitonhisbody，ifhedare，Despitehisnicefenceandhisactivepractise，HisMayofyouthandbloomoflustihood。CLAUDIOAway！Iwillnothavetodowithyou。LEONATOCanstthousodaffme？Thouhastkill’dmychild：
　　Ifthoukill’stme，boy，thoushaltkillaman。ANTONIOHeshallkilltwoofus，andmenindeed：
　　Butthat’snomatter；lethimkillonefirst；
　　Winmeandwearme；lethimanswerme。
　　Come，followme，boy；come，sirboy，come，followme：
　　Sirboy，I’llwhipyoufromyourfoiningfence；
　　Nay，asIamagentleman，Iwill。LEONATOBrother，——ANTONIOContentyourself。GodknowsIlovedmyniece；
　　Andsheisdead，slander’dtodeathbyvillains，ThatdareaswellansweramanindeedAsIdaretakeaserpentbythetongue：
　　Boys，apes，braggarts，Jacks，milksops！LEONATOBrotherAntony，——ANTONIOHoldyoucontent。What，man！Iknowthem，yea，Andwhattheyweigh，eventotheutmostscruple，——
　　Scrambling，out-facing，fashion-mongingboys，Thatlieandcogandflout，depraveandslander，Goanticly，showoutwardhideousness，Andspeakoffhalfadozendangerouswords，Howtheymighthurttheirenemies，iftheydurst；
　　Andthisisall。LEONATOBut，brotherAntony，——ANTONIOCome，’tisnomatter：
　　Donotyoumeddle；letmedealinthis。DONPEDROGentlemenboth，wewillnotwakeyourpatience。
　　Myheartissorryforyourdaughter’sdeath：
　　But，onmyhonour，shewaschargedwithnothingButwhatwastrueandveryfullofproof。LEONATOMylord，mylord，——DONPEDROIwillnothearyou。LEONATONo？Come，brother；away！Iwillbeheard。ANTONIOAndshall，orsomeofuswillsmartforit。
　　ExeuntLEONATOandANTONIODONPEDROSee，see；herecomesthemanwewenttoseek。
　　EnterBENEDICKCLAUDIONow，signior，whatnews？BENEDICKGoodday，mylord。DONPEDROWelcome，signior：youarealmostcometopartalmostafray。CLAUDIOWehadliketohavehadourtwonosessnappedoffwithtwooldmenwithoutteeth。DONPEDROLeonatoandhisbrother。Whatthinkestthou？Hadwefought，Idoubtweshouldhavebeentooyoungforthem。BENEDICKInafalsequarrelthereisnotruevalour。
　　Icametoseekyouboth。CLAUDIOWehavebeenupanddowntoseekthee；
　　forwearehigh-proofmelancholyandwouldfainhaveitbeatenaway。Wiltthouusethywit？BENEDICKItisinmyscabbard：shallIdrawit？DONPEDRODostthouwearthywitbythyside？CLAUDIONeveranydidso，thoughverymanyhavebeenbesidetheirwit。Iwillbidtheedraw，aswedotheminstrels；draw，topleasureus。DONPEDROAsIamanhonestman，helookspale。
　　Artthousick，orangry？CLAUDIOWhat，courage，man！Whatthoughcarekilledacat，thouhastmettleenoughintheetokillcare。BENEDICKSir，Ishallmeetyourwitinthecareer，andyouchargeitagainstme。Iprayyouchooseanothersubject。CLAUDIONay，then，givehimanotherstaff：thislastwasbrokecross。DONPEDROBythislight，hechangesmoreandmore：
　　Ithinkhebeangryindeed。CLAUDIOIfhebe，heknowshowtoturnhisgirdle。BENEDICKShallIspeakawordinyourear？CLAUDIOGodblessmefromachallenge！BENEDICK[AsidetoCLAUDIO]Youareavillain；
　　Ijestnot：
　　Iwillmakeitgoodhowyoudare，withwhatyoudare，andwhenyoudare。Domeright，orIwillprotestyourcowardice。Youhavekilledasweetlady，andherdeathshallfallheavyonyou。
　　Letmehearfromyou。CLAUDIOWell，Iwillmeetyou，soImayhavegoodcheer。DONPEDROWhat，afeast，afeast？CLAUDIOI’faith，Ithankhim；hehathbidmetoacalf’sheadandacapon；thewhichifIdonotcarvemostcuriously，saymyknife’snaught。ShallInotfindawoodcocktoo？BENEDICKSir，yourwitambleswell；itgoeseasily。DONPEDROI’lltelltheehowBeatricepraisedthywittheotherday。Isaid，thouhadstafinewit：’True，’
　　saidshe，’afinelittleone。’’No，’saidI，’agreatwit：’’Right，’saysshe，’agreatgrossone。’
　　’Nay，’saidI，’agoodwit：’’Just，’saidshe，’ithurtsnobody。’’Nay，’saidI，’thegentlemaniswise：’’Certain，’saidshe，’awisegentleman。’
　　’Nay，’saidI，’hehaththetongues：’’ThatI
　　believe，’saidshe，’forhesworeathingtomeonMondaynight，whichheforsworeonTuesdaymorning；
　　there’sadoubletongue；there’stwotongues。’
　　Thusdidshe，anhourtogether，transshapethyparticularvirtues：yetatlastsheconcludedwithasigh，thouwasttheproperestmaninItaly。CLAUDIOForthewhichsheweptheartilyandsaidshecarednot。DONPEDROYea，thatshedid：butyet，forallthat，anifshedidnothatehimdeadly，shewouldlovehimdearly：
　　theoldman’sdaughtertoldusall。CLAUDIOAll，all；and，moreover，Godsawhimwhenhewashidinthegarden。DONPEDROButwhenshallwesetthesavagebull’shornsonthesensibleBenedick’shead？CLAUDIOYea，andtextunderneath，’HeredwellsBenedickthemarriedman’？BENEDICKFareyouwell，boy：youknowmymind。
　　Iwillleaveyounowtoyourgossip-likehumour：youbreakjestsasbraggartsdotheirblades，whichGodbethanked，hurtnot。Mylord，foryourmanycourtesiesI
　　thankyou：Imustdiscontinueyourcompany：yourbrotherthebastardisfledfromMessina：youhaveamongyoukilledasweetandinnocentlady。FormyLordLackbeardthere，heandIshallmeet：and，tillthen，peacebewithhim。
　　ExitDONPEDROHeisinearnest。CLAUDIOInmostprofoundearnest；and，I’llwarrantyou，fortheloveofBeatrice。DONPEDROAndhathchallengedthee。CLAUDIOMostsincerely。DONPEDROWhataprettythingmaniswhenhegoesinhisdoubletandhoseandleavesoffhiswit！CLAUDIOHeisthenagianttoanape；butthenisanapeadoctortosuchaman。DONPEDROBut，softyou，letmebe：pluckup，myheart，andbesad。Didhenotsay，mybrotherwasfled？
　　EnterDOGBERRY，VERGES，andtheWatch，withCONRADEandBORACHIODOGBERRYComeyou，sir：ifjusticecannottameyou，sheshallne’erweighmorereasonsinherbalance：
　　nay，anyoubeacursinghypocriteonce，youmustbelookedto。DONPEDROHownow？twoofmybrother’smenbound！
　　Borachioone！CLAUDIOHearkenaftertheiroffence，mylord。DONPEDROOfficers，whatoffencehavethesemendone？DOGBERRYMarry，sir，theyhavecommittedfalsereport；
　　moreover，theyhavespokenuntruths；secondarily，theyareslanders；sixthandlastly，theyhavebeliedalady；thirdly，theyhaveverifiedunjustthings；and，toconclude，theyarelyingknaves。DONPEDROFirst，Iasktheewhattheyhavedone；
　　thirdly，I
　　asktheewhat’stheiroffence；sixthandlastly，whytheyarecommitted；and，toconclude，whatyoulaytotheircharge。CLAUDIORightlyreasoned，andinhisowndivision：
　　and，bymytroth，there’sonemeaningwellsuited。DONPEDROWhohaveyouoffended，masters，thatyouarethusboundtoyouranswer？thislearnedconstableistoocunningtobeunderstood：what’syouroffence？BORACHIOSweetprince，letmegonofarthertomineanswer：
　　doyouhearme，andletthiscountkillme。I
　　havedeceivedevenyourveryeyes：whatyourwisdomscouldnotdiscover，theseshallowfoolshavebroughttolight：whointhenightoverheardmeconfessingtothismanhowDonJohnyourbrotherincensedmetoslandertheLadyHero，howyouwerebroughtintotheorchardandsawmecourtMargaretinHero’sgarments，howyoudisgracedher，whenyoushouldmarryher：myvillanytheyhaveuponrecord；
　　whichIhadrathersealwithmydeaththanrepeatovertomyshame。Theladyisdeaduponmineandmymaster’sfalseaccusation；and，briefly，Idesirenothingbuttherewardofavillain。DONPEDRORunsnotthisspeechlikeironthroughyourblood？CLAUDIOIhavedrunkpoisonwhilesheutter’dit。DONPEDROButdidmybrothersettheeontothis？BORACHIOYea，andpaidmerichlyforthepractiseofit。DONPEDROHeiscomposedandframedoftreachery：
　　Andfledheisuponthisvillany。CLAUDIOSweetHero！nowthyimagedothappearIntheraresemblancethatIloveditfirst。DOGBERRYCome，bringawaytheplaintiffs：bythistimeoursextonhathreformedSigniorLeonatoofthematter：
　　and，masters，donotforgettospecify，whentimeandplaceshallserve，thatIamanass。VERGESHere，herecomesmasterSigniorLeonato，andtheSextontoo。
　　Re-enterLEONATOandANTONIO，withtheSextonLEONATOWhichisthevillain？letmeseehiseyes，That，whenInoteanothermanlikehim，Imayavoidhim：whichoftheseishe？BORACHIOIfyouwouldknowyourwronger，lookonme。LEONATOArtthoutheslavethatwiththybreathhastkill’dMineinnocentchild？BORACHIOYea，evenIalone。LEONATONo，notso，villain；thoubeliestthyself：
　　Herestandapairofhonourablemen；
　　Athirdisfled，thathadahandinit。
　　Ithankyou，princes，formydaughter’sdeath：
　　Recorditwithyourhighandworthydeeds：
　　’Twasbravelydone，ifyoubethinkyouofit。CLAUDIOIknownothowtoprayyourpatience；
　　YetImustspeak。Chooseyourrevengeyourself；
　　ImposemetowhatpenanceyourinventionCanlayuponmysin：yetsinn’dInotButinmistaking。DONPEDROBymysoul，norI：
　　Andyet，tosatisfythisgoodoldman，IwouldbendunderanyheavyweightThathe’llenjoinmeto。LEONATOIcannotbidyoubidmydaughterlive；
　　Thatwereimpossible：but，Iprayyouboth，PossessthepeopleinMessinahereHowinnocentshedied；andifyourloveCanlabouroughtinsadinvention，HangheranepitaphuponhertombAndsingittoherbones，singitto-night：
　　To-morrowmorningcomeyoutomyhouse，Andsinceyoucouldnotbemyson-in-law，Beyetmynephew：mybrotherhathadaughter，Almostthecopyofmychildthat’sdead，Andshealoneisheirtobothofus：
　　Givehertherightyoushouldhavegivenhercousin，Andsodiesmyrevenge。CLAUDIOOnoblesir，Yourover-kindnessdothwringtearsfromme！
　　Idoembraceyouroffer；anddisposeForhenceforthofpoorClaudio。LEONATOTo-morrowthenIwillexpectyourcoming；
　　To-nightItakemyleave。ThisnaughtymanShallfacetofacebebroughttoMargaret，WhoIbelievewaspack’dinallthiswrong，Hiredtoitbyyourbrother。BORACHIONo，bymysoul，shewasnot，Norknewnotwhatshedidwhenshespoketome，ButalwayshathbeenjustandvirtuousInanythingthatIdoknowbyher。DOGBERRYMoreover，sir，whichindeedisnotunderwhiteandblack，thisplaintiffhere，theoffender，didcallmeass：Ibeseechyou，letitberememberedinhispunishment。Andalso，thewatchheardthemtalkofoneDeformed：theysaybewearsakeyinhisearandalockhangingbyit，andborrowsmoneyinGod’sname，thewhichhehathusedsolongandneverpaidthatnowmengrowhard-heartedandwilllendnothingforGod’ssake：prayyou，examinehimuponthatpoint。LEONATOIthanktheeforthycareandhonestpains。DOGBERRYYourworshipspeakslikeamostthankfulandreverendyouth；andIpraiseGodforyou。LEONATOThere’sforthypains。DOGBERRYGodsavethefoundation！LEONATOGo，Idischargetheeofthyprisoner，andIthankthee。DOGBERRYIleaveanarrantknavewithyourworship；
　　whichI
　　beseechyourworshiptocorrectyourself，fortheexampleofothers。Godkeepyourworship！Iwishyourworshipwell；Godrestoreyoutohealth！
　　I
　　humblygiveyouleavetodepart；andifamerrymeetingmaybewished，Godprohibitit！Come，neighbour。
　　ExeuntDOGBERRYandVERGESLEONATOUntilto-morrowmorning，lords，farewell。ANTONIOFarewell，mylords：welookforyouto-morrow。DONPEDROWewillnotfail。CLAUDIOTo-nightI’llmournwithHero。LEONATO[TotheWatch]Bringyouthesefellowson。We’lltalkwithMargaret，Howheracquaintancegrewwiththislewdfellow。
　　Exeunt，severallySCENEII。LEONATO’Sgarden。EnterBENEDICKandMARGARET，meetingBENEDICKPraythee，sweetMistressMargaret，deservewellatmyhandsbyhelpingmetothespeechofBeatrice。MARGARETWillyouthenwritemeasonnetinpraiseofmybeauty？BENEDICKInsohighastyle，Margaret，thatnomanlivingshallcomeoverit；for，inmostcomelytruth，thoudeservestit。MARGARETTohavenomancomeoverme！why，shallIalwayskeepbelowstairs？BENEDICKThywitisasquickasthegreyhound’smouth；itcatches。MARGARETAndyoursasbluntasthefencer’sfoils，whichhit，buthurtnot。BENEDICKAmostmanlywit，Margaret；itwillnothurtawoman：andso，Ipraythee，callBeatrice：Igivetheethebucklers。MARGARETGiveustheswords；wehavebucklersofourown。BENEDICKIfyouusethem，Margaret，youmustputinthepikeswithavice；andtheyaredangerousweaponsformaids。MARGARETWell，IwillcallBeatricetoyou，whoIthinkhathlegs。BENEDICKAndthereforewillcome。
　　ExitMARGARET
　　SingsThegodoflove，Thatsitsabove，Andknowsme，andknowsme，HowpitifulIdeserve，——
　　Imeaninsinging；butinloving，Leanderthegoodswimmer，Troilusthefirstemployerofpanders，andawholebookfulofthesequondamcarpet-mangers，whosenamesyetrunsmoothlyintheevenroadofablankverse，why，theywereneversotrulyturnedoverandoverasmypoorselfinlove。Marry，I
　　cannotshowitinrhyme；Ihavetried：Icanfindoutnorhymeto’lady’but’baby，’aninnocentrhyme；for’scorn，’’horn，’ahardrhyme；for，’school，’’fool，’ababblingrhyme；veryominousendings：no，Iwasnotbornunderarhymingplanet，norIcannotwooinfestivalterms。
　　EnterBEATRICE
　　SweetBeatrice，wouldstthoucomewhenIcalledthee？BEATRICEYea，signior，anddepartwhenyoubidme。BENEDICKO，staybuttillthen！BEATRICE’Then’isspoken；fareyouwellnow：andyet，ereIgo，letmegowiththatIcame；whichis，withknowingwhathathpassedbetweenyouandClaudio。BENEDICKOnlyfoulwords；andthereuponIwillkissthee。BEATRICEFoulwordsisbutfoulwind，andfoulwindisbutfoulbreath，andfoulbreathisnoisome；thereforeI
　　willdepartunkissed。BENEDICKThouhastfrightedthewordoutofhisrightsense，soforcibleisthywit。ButImusttelltheeplainly，Claudioundergoesmychallenge；andeitherImustshortlyhearfromhim，orIwillsubscribehimacoward。And，Ipraytheenow，tellmeforwhichofmybadpartsdidstthoufirstfallinlovewithme？BEATRICEForthemalltogether；whichmaintainedsopoliticastateofevilthattheywillnotadmitanygoodparttointerminglewiththem。Butforwhichofmygoodpartsdidyoufirstsufferloveforme？BENEDICKSufferlove！agoodepithet！Idosufferloveindeed，forIlovetheeagainstmywill。BEATRICEInspiteofyourheart，Ithink；alas，poorheart！
　　Ifyouspiteitformysake，Iwillspiteitforyours；forIwillneverlovethatwhichmyfriendhates。BENEDICKThouandIaretoowisetowoopeaceably。BEATRICEItappearsnotinthisconfession：there’snotonewisemanamongtwentythatwillpraisehimself。BENEDICKAnold，anoldinstance，Beatrice，thatlivedinthelimeofgoodneighbours。Ifamandonoterectinthisagehisowntomberehedies，heshalllivenolongerinmonumentthanthebellringsandthewidowweeps。BEATRICEAndhowlongisthat，thinkyou？BENEDICKQuestion：why，anhourinclamourandaquarterinrheum：thereforeisitmostexpedientforthewise，ifDonWorm，hisconscience，findnoimpedimenttothecontrary，tobethetrumpetofhisownvirtues，asIamtomyself。Somuchforpraisingmyself，who，Imyselfwillbearwitness，ispraiseworthy：andnowtellme，howdothyourcousin？BEATRICEVeryill。BENEDICKAndhowdoyou？BEATRICEVeryilltoo。BENEDICKServeGod，lovemeandmend。TherewillIleaveyoutoo，forherecomesoneinhaste。
　　EnterURSULAURSULAMadam，youmustcometoyouruncle。Yonder’soldcoilathome：itisprovedmyLadyHerohathbeenfalselyaccused，theprinceandClaudiomightilyabused；andDonJohnistheauthorofall，whoisfedandgone。Willyoucomepresently？BEATRICEWillyougohearthisnews，signior？BENEDICKIwillliveinthyheart，dieinthylap，andbeburiedinthyeyes；andmoreoverIwillgowiththeetothyuncle’s。
　　ExeuntSCENEIII。Achurch。EnterDONPEDRO，CLAUDIO，andthreeorfourwithtapersCLAUDIOIsthisthemonumentofLeonato？LordItis，mylord。CLAUDIO[Readingoutofascroll]
　　DonetodeathbyslanderoustonguesWastheHerothatherelies：
　　Death，inguerdonofherwrongs，Givesherfamewhichneverdies。
　　SothelifethatdiedwithshameLivesindeathwithgloriousfame。
　　Hangthouthereuponthetomb，PraisingherwhenIamdumb。
　　Now，music，sound，andsingyoursolemnhymn。
　　SONG。
　　Pardon，goddessofthenight，Thosethatslewthyvirginknight；
　　Forthewhich，withsongsofwoe，Roundabouthertombtheygo。
　　Midnight，assistourmoan；
　　Helpustosighandgroan，Heavily，heavily：
　　Graves，yawnandyieldyourdead，Tilldeathbeuttered，Heavily，heavily。CLAUDIONow，untothybonesgoodnight！
　　YearlywillIdothisrite。DONPEDROGoodmorrow，masters；putyourtorchesout：
　　Thewolveshaveprey’d；andlook，thegentleday，BeforethewheelsofPhoebus，roundaboutDapplesthedrowsyeastwithspotsofgrey。
　　Thankstoyouall，andleaveus：fareyouwell。CLAUDIOGoodmorrow，masters：eachhisseveralway。DONPEDROCome，letushence，andputonotherweeds；
　　AndthentoLeonato’swewillgo。CLAUDIOAndHymennowwithluckierissuespeed’sThanthisforwhomwerender’dupthiswoe。
　　ExeuntSCENEIV。AroominLEONATO’Shouse。EnterLEONATO，ANTONIO，BENEDICK，BEATRICE，MARGARET，URSULA，FRIARFRANCIS，andHEROFRIARFRANCISDidInottellyoushewasinnocent？LEONATOSoaretheprinceandClaudio，whoaccusedherUpontheerrorthatyouhearddebated：
　　ButMargaretwasinsomefaultforthis，Althoughagainstherwill，asitappearsInthetruecourseofallthequestion。ANTONIOWell，Iamgladthatallthingssortsowell。BENEDICKAndsoamI，beingelsebyfaithenforcedTocallyoungClaudiotoareckoningforit。LEONATOWell，daughter，andyougentle-womenall，Withdrawintoachamberbyyourselves，AndwhenIsendforyou，comehithermask’d。
　　ExeuntLadiesTheprinceandClaudiopromisedbythishourTovisitme。Youknowyouroffice，brother：
　　Youmustbefathertoyourbrother’sdaughterAndgivehertoyoungClaudio。ANTONIOWhichIwilldowithconfirm’dcountenance。BENEDICKFriar，Imustentreatyourpains，Ithink。FRIARFRANCISTodowhat，signior？BENEDICKTobindme，orundome；oneofthem。
　　SigniorLeonato，truthitis，goodsignior，Yournieceregardsmewithaneyeoffavour。LEONATOThateyemydaughterlenther：’tismosttrue。BENEDICKAndIdowithaneyeofloverequiteher。LEONATOThesightwhereofIthinkyouhadfromme，FromClaudioandtheprince：butwhat’syourwill？BENEDICKYouranswer，sir，isenigmatical：
　　But，formywill，mywillisyourgoodwillMaystandwithours，thisdaytobeconjoin’dInthestateofhonourablemarriage：
　　Inwhich，goodfriar，Ishalldesireyourhelp。LEONATOMyheartiswithyourliking。FRIARFRANCISAndmyhelp。
　　HerecomestheprinceandClaudio。
　　EnterDONPEDROandCLAUDIO，andtwoorthreeothersDONPEDROGoodmorrowtothisfairassembly。LEONATOGoodmorrow，prince；goodmorrow，Claudio：
　　Wehereattendyou。AreyouyetdeterminedTo-daytomarrywithmybrother’sdaughter？CLAUDIOI’llholdmymind，weresheanEthiope。LEONATOCallherforth，brother；here’sthefriarready。
　　ExitANTONIODONPEDROGoodmorrow，Benedick。Why，what’sthematter，ThatyouhavesuchaFebruaryface，Sofulloffrost，ofstormandcloudiness？CLAUDIOIthinkhethinksuponthesavagebull。
　　Tush，fearnot，man；we’lltipthyhornswithgoldAndallEuropashallrejoiceatthee，AsonceEuropadidatlustyJove，Whenhewouldplaythenoblebeastinlove。BENEDICKBullJove，sir，hadanamiablelow；
　　Andsomesuchstrangebullleap’dyourfather’scow，AndgotacalfinthatsamenoblefeatMuchliketoyou，foryouhavejusthisbleat。CLAUDIOForthisIoweyou：herecomesotherreckonings。
　　Re-enterANTONIO，withtheLadiesmaskedWhichistheladyImustseizeupon？ANTONIOThissameisshe，andIdogiveyouher。CLAUDIOWhy，thenshe’smine。Sweet，letmeseeyourface。LEONATONo，thatyoushallnot，tillyoutakeherhandBeforethisfriarandsweartomarryher。CLAUDIOGivemeyourhand：beforethisholyfriar，Iamyourhusband，ifyoulikeofme。HEROAndwhenIlived，Iwasyourotherwife：
　　UnmaskingAndwhenyouloved，youweremyotherhusband。CLAUDIOAnotherHero！HERONothingcertainer：
　　OneHerodieddefiled，butIdolive，AndsurelyasIlive，Iamamaid。DONPEDROTheformerHero！Herothatisdead！LEONATOShedied，mylord，butwhilesherslanderlived。FRIARFRANCISAllthisamazementcanIqualify：
　　Whenafterthattheholyritesareended，I’lltellyoulargelyoffairHero’sdeath：
　　Meantimeletwonderseemfamiliar，Andtothechapelletuspresently。BENEDICKSoftandfair，friar。WhichisBeatrice？BEATRICE[Unmasking]Ianswertothatname。Whatisyourwill？BENEDICKDonotyouloveme？BEATRICEWhy，no；nomorethanreason。BENEDICKWhy，thenyouruncleandtheprinceandClaudioHavebeendeceived；theysworeyoudid。BEATRICEDonotyouloveme？BENEDICKTroth，no；nomorethanreason。BEATRICEWhy，thenmycousinMargaretandUrsulaAremuchdeceived；fortheydidswearyoudid。BENEDICKTheysworethatyouwerealmostsickforme。BEATRICETheysworethatyouwerewell-nighdeadforme。BENEDICK’Tisnosuchmatter。Thenyoudonotloveme？BEATRICENo，truly，butinfriendlyrecompense。LEONATOCome，cousin，Iamsureyoulovethegentleman。CLAUDIOAndI’llbeswornupon’tthathelovesher；
　　Forhere’sapaperwritteninhishand，Ahaltingsonnetofhisownpurebrain，Fashion’dtoBeatrice。HEROAndhere’sanotherWritinmycousin’shand，stolenfromherpocket，ContainingheraffectionuntoBenedick。BENEDICKAmiracle！here’sourownhandsagainstourhearts。
　　Come，Iwillhavethee；but，bythislight，I
　　taketheeforpity。BEATRICEIwouldnotdenyyou；but，bythisgoodday，Iyieldupongreatpersuasion；andpartlytosaveyourlife，forIwastoldyouwereinaconsumption。BENEDICKPeace！Iwillstopyourmouth。
　　KissingherDONPEDROHowdostthou，Benedick，themarriedman？BENEDICKI’lltelltheewhat，prince；acollegeofwit-crackerscannotfloutmeoutofmyhumour。
　　DostthouthinkIcareforasatireoranepigram？
　　No：
　　ifamanwillbebeatenwithbrains，a’shallwearnothinghandsomeabouthim。Inbrief，sinceI
　　dopurposetomarry，Iwillthinknothingtoanypurposethattheworldcansayagainstit；andthereforeneverfloutatmeforwhatIhavesaidagainstit；formanisagiddything，andthisismyconclusion。Forthypart，Claudio，Ididthinktohavebeatenthee，butinthatthouartliketobemykinsman，liveunbruisedandlovemycousin。CLAUDIOIhadwellhopedthouwouldsthavedeniedBeatrice，thatImighthavecudgelledtheeoutofthysinglelife，tomaketheeadouble-dealer；which，outofquestion，thouwiltbe，ifmycousindonotlookexceedinglynarrowlytothee。BENEDICKCome，come，wearefriends：let’shaveadanceerewearemarried，thatwemaylightenourownheartsandourwives’heels。LEONATOWe’llhavedancingafterward。BENEDICKFirst，ofmyword；thereforeplay，music。
　　Prince，thouartsad；gettheeawife，gettheeawife：
　　thereisnostaffmorereverendthanonetippedwithhorn。
　　EnteraMessengerMessengerMylord，yourbrotherJohnista’eninflight，AndbroughtwitharmedmenbacktoMessina。BENEDICKThinknotonhimtillto-morrow：
　　I’lldevisetheebravepunishmentsforhim。
　　Strikeup，pipers。
　　DanceExeunt