DRAMATISPERSONAE。
  EarlofSHREWSBURY。
  EarlofSURREY。
  SirTHOMASPALMER。
  SirROGERCHOMLEY。
  SirTHOMASMORE。
  LordMayor。
  Aldermen。
  SURESBY,aJustice。
  OtherJustices。
  Sheriffs。
  Recorder。
  SergeantatArms。
  ClerkoftheCouncil。
  ERASMUS。
  BishopofRochester。
  ROPER,son-in-lawtoMORE。
  JOHNLINCOLN,abroker。
  GEORGEBETTS。
  Hisbrother(the’Clown’)。
  WILLIAMSON,acarpenter。
  SHERWIN,agoldsmith。
  FRANCISDEBARDE,Lombard。
  CAVELER,Lombard。
  LIFTER,acut-purse。
  SMART,plaintiffagainsthim。
  HARRY,ROBIN,KIT,andothers,Prentices。
  MORRIS。
  FAULKNER,hisservant。
  Players。
  GOUGH。
  CATESBY。
  RANDALL。
  Butler。
  Brewer。
  Porter。
  Horsekeeper。
  CROFTS。
  DOWNES。
  LieutenantoftheTower。
  WardersoftheTower。
  GentlemanPorteroftheTower。
  Hangman。
  Lords,Gentlemen,Officers,Messengers,Guard,Attendants。
  LadyMORE。
  LadyMayoress。
  MistressROPER,daughtertoMORE。
  AnotherdaughtertoMORE。
  DOLL,wifetoWILLIAMSON。
  APoorWoman。
  Ladies。
  ACTI。
  SCENEI。London。AStreet。
  [Enter,atoneend,JohnLincoln,withthetwoBettsestogether;attheotherend,entersFrancisdeBardeandDollalustywoman,hehalingherbythearm。]
  DOLL。
  Whetherwiltthouhaleme?
  BARDE。
  WhetherIplease;thouartmyprize,andIpleadpurchaseofthee。
  DOLL。
  Purchaseofme!away,yerascal!Iamanhonestplaincarpenterswife,andthoughIhavenobeautytolikeahusband,yetwhatsoeverisminescornstostooptoastranger:handoff,then,whenIbidthee!
  BARDE。
  Gowithmequietly,orI’llcompelthee。
  DOLL。
  Compelme,yedog’sface!thouthinkstthouhastthegoldsmith’swifeinhand,whomthouenticedstfromherhusbandwithallhisplate,andwhenthouturndstherhometohimagain,madsthim,likeanass,payforhiswife’sboard。
  BARDE。
  SowillImakethyhusbandtoo,ifpleaseme。
  [EnterCavelerwithapairofdoves;Williamsonthecarpenter,andSherwinfollowinghim。]
  DOLL。
  Herehecomeshimself;tellhimso,ifthoudarst。
  CAVELER。
  Followmenofurther;Isaythoushaltnothavethem。
  WILLIAMSON。
  IboughttheminCheapside,andpaidmymoneyforthem。
  SHERWIN。
  Hedid,sir,indeed;andyouofferhimwrong,bothtotakethemfromhim,andnotrestorehimhismoneyneither。
  CAVELER。
  Ifhepaidforthem,letitsufficethatIpossessthem:beefsandbrewsmayservesuchhinds;arepigeonsmeatforacoarsecarpenter?
  LINCOLN。
  ItishardwhenEnglishmen’spatiencemustbethusjettedonbystrangers,andtheynotdaretorevengetheirownwrongs。
  GEORGE。
  Lincoln,let’sbeatthemdown,andbearnomoreoftheseabuses。
  LINCOLN。
  Wemaynot,Betts:bepatient,andhearmore。
  DOLL。
  Hownow,husband!what,onestrangertaketheyfoodfromthee,andanotherthywife!byourLady,fleshandblood,Ithink,canhardlybrookthat。
  LINCOLN。
  Willthisgearneverbeotherwise?mustthesewrongsbethusendured?
  GEORGE。
  Letusstepin,andhelptorevengetheirinjury。
  BARDE。
  Whatartthouthattalkestofrevenge?mylordambassadorshalloncemoremakeyourMajorhaveacheck,ifhepunishtheeforthissaucypresumption。
  WILLIAMSON。
  Indeed,mylordMayor,ontheambassador’scomplaint,sentmetoNewgateoneday,because(againstmywill)Itookthewallofastranger:youmaydoanything;thegoldsmith’swifeandminenowmustbeatyourcommandment。
  GEORGE。
  Themorepatientfoolsareyeboth,tosufferit。
  BARDE。
  Sufferit!menditthouorhe,ifyecanordare。Itellthee,fellows,andsheweretheMayorofLondon’swife,hadIheronceinmypossession,Iwouldkeepherinspiteofhimthatdurstsaynay。
  GEORGE。
  Itellthee,Lombard,thesewordsshouldcostthybestcape,wereI
  notcurbedbydutyandobedience:theMayorofLondon’swife!
  OhGod,shallitbethus?
  DOLL。
  Why,Betts,amnotIasdeartmhusbandasmylordMayor’swifetohim?andwiltthousoneglectlysufferthineownshame?——Handsoff,proudstranger!or,byhimthatboughtme,ifmen’smilkyheartsdarenotstrikeastranger,yetwomenbeatthemdown,eretheybeartheseabuses。
  BARDE。
  Mistress,Isayyoushallalongwithme。
  DOLL。
  TouchnotDollWilliamson,leastshelaytheealongonGod’sdearearth。——Andyou,sir[ToCaveler],thatallowsuchcoarsecatestocarpenters,whilstpigeons,whichtheypayfor,mustserveyourdaintyappetite,deliverthembacktomyhusbandagain,orI’llcallsomanywomentomineassistanceaswillnotleaveoneinchuntornofthee:ifourhusbandsmustbebridledbylaw,andforcedtobearyourwrongs,theirwiveswillbealittlelawless,andsoundlybeatye。
  CAVELER。
  Comeaway,DeBarde,andletusgocomplaintomylordambassador。
  [ExeuntAmbo。]
  DOLL。
  Aye,go,andsendhimamongus,andwe’llgivehimhiswelcometoo。——IamashamedthatfreebornEnglishmen,havingbeatenstrangerswithintheirownhomes,shouldthusbebravedandabusedbythemathome。
  SHERWIN。
  Itisnotourlackofcourageinthecause,butthestrictobediencethatweareboundto。Iamthegoldsmithwhosewrongsyoutalkedof;buthowtoredressyoursormineownisamatterbeyondourabilities。
  LINCOLN。
  Notso,notso,mygoodfriends:I,thoughameanman,abrokerbyprofession,andnamedJohnLincoln,havelongtimewinkedatthesewildenormitieswithmightyimpatience,and,asthesetwobrethrenhere(Bettsbyname)canwitness,withlossofmineownlifewouldgladlyremedythem。
  GEORGE。
  Andheisinagoodforwardness,Itellye,ifallhitright。
  DOLL。
  Ashow,Iprithee?tellittoDollWilliamson。
  LINCOLN。
  YouknowtheSpittlesermonsbeginthenextweek:Ihavedrawnabillofourwrongsandthestrangers’insolences。
  GEORGE。
  Whichhemeansthepreachersshallthereopenlypublishinthepulpit。
  WILLIAMSON。
  Oh,butthattheywould!yfaith,itwouldtickleourstrangersthoroughly。
  DOLL。
  Aye,andifyoumendurstnotundertakeit,beforeGod,wewomenwould。Takeanhonestwomanfromherhusband!why,itisintolerable。
  SHERWIN。
  Buthowfindyethepreachersaffectedtoourproceeding?
  LINCOLN。
  MasterDoctorStandishhathansweredthatitbecomesnothimtomoveanysuchthinginhissermon,andtellsuswemustmovetheMayorandaldermentoreformit,anddoubtsnotbuthappysuccesswillensueonstatementofourwrongs。Youshallperceivethere’snohurtinthebill:here’sacoupleofit;Iprayye,hearit。
  ALL。
  Withallourhearts;forGod’ssake,readit。
  LINCOLN。
  [Reads。]Toyouall,theworshipfullordsandmastersofthiscity,thatwilltakecompassionoverthepoorpeopleyourneighbors,andalsoofthegreatimportablehurts,losses,andhinderances,whereofproceedethextremepovertytoalltheking’ssubjectsthatinhabitwithinthiscityandsuburbsofthesame:forsoitisthataliensandstrangerseatthebreadfromthefatherlesschildren,andtakethelivingfromalltheartificersandtheintercoursefromallthemerchants,wherebypovertyissomuchincreased,thateverymanbewaileththemiseryofother;forcraftsmenbebroughttobeggary,andmerchantstoneediness:wherefore,thepremisesconsidered,theredressmustbeofthecommonknitandunitedtoonepart:andasthehurtanddamagegrievethallmen,somustallmenseetotheirwillingpowerforremedy,andnotsufferthesaidaliensintheirwealth,andthenaturalbornmenofthisregiontocometoconfusion。
  DOLL。
  BeforeGod,tisexcellent;andI’llmaintainthesuittobehonest。
  SHERWIN。
  Well,saytisread,whatisyourfurthermeaninginthematter?
  GEORGE。
  What!marry,listtome。Nodoubtbutthiswillstoreuswithfriendsenow,whosenameswewillcloselykeepinwriting;andonMaydaynextinthemorningwe’llgoforthaMaying,butmakeittheworstMaydayforthestrangersthatevertheysaw。Howsayye?doyesubscribe,orareyefaint-heartedrevolters?
  DOLL。
  Holdthee,GeorgeBetts,there’smyhandandmyheart:bytheLord,I’llmakeacaptainamongye,anddosomewhattobetalkofforeverafter。
  WILLIAMSON。
  Mymasters,erewepart,let’sfriendlygoanddrinktogether,andsweartruesecrecyuponourlives。
  GEORGE。
  Therespakeanangel。Come,letusalong,then。
  [Exeunt。]
  SCENEII。London。TheSessionsHouse。
  [Anarrasisdrawn,andbehinditasinsessionssittheLordMayor,JusticeSuresby,andotherJustices;SheriffMoreandtheotherSheriffsittingby。Smartistheplaintiff,Liftertheprisoneratthebar。Recorder,Officers。]
  LORDMAYOR。
  Havingdispatchedourweightierbusinesses,Wemaygiveeartopettyfelonies。
  MasterSheriffMore,whatisthisfellow?
  MORE。
  Mylord,hestandsindictedforapurse;
  Hehathbeentried,thejuryistogether。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Whosenthimin?
  SURESBY。
  ThatdidI,mylord:
  Hadhehadright,hehadbeenhangederethis;
  Theonlycaptainofthecutpursecrew。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Whatishisname?
  SURESBY。
  Ashisprofessionis,Lifter,mylord,Onethatcanliftapurserightcunningly。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Andisthatheaccuseshim?
  SURESBY。
  Thesame,mylord,whom,byyourhonorsleave,Imustsaysomewhattoo,becauseIfindInsomerespectsheiswellworthyblame。
  LORDMAYOR。
  GoodMasterJusticeSuresby,speakyourmind;
  Wearewellpleasedtogiveyouaudience。
  SURESBY。
  Hearme,Smart;thouartafoolishfellow:
  IfLifterbeconvictedbythelaw,AsIseenothowthejurycanacquithim,I’llstandtoo’tthouartguiltyofhisdeath。
  MORE。
  Mylord,that’sworthythehearing。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Listen,then,goodMasterMore。
  SURESBY。
  Itelltheeplain,itisashameforthee,Withsuchasumtotemptnecessity;
  Nolessthantenpounds,sir,willserveyourturn,Tocarryinyourpurseaboutwithye,Tocrakeandbragintavernsofyourmoney:
  Ipromiseye,amanthatgoesabroadWithanintentoftruth,meetingsuchabooty,Maybeprovokedtothathenevermeant。
  Whatmakessomanypilferersandfelons,ButsuchfondbaitsthatfoolishpeoplelayTotempttheneedymiserablewretch?
  Tenpounds,oddmoney;thisisaprettysumTobearabout,whichweremoresafeathome。
  ForeGod,twerewelltofineyeasmuchmore[LordMayorandMorewhisper。]
  Tothereliefofthepoorprisoners,Toteachyebemorecarefulofyourown,Insooth,Isayyewerebutrightlyserved,Ifyehadlostasmuchastwicetenpounds。
  MORE。
  Goodmylord,soothapointortwoforonce,Onlytotryconclusionsinthiscase。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Content,goodMasterMore:we’llriseawhile,And,tillthejurycanreturntheirverdict,Walkinthegarden。——Howsayye,Justices?
  ALL。
  Welikeitwell,mylord;we’llfollowye。
  [ExeuntLordMayorandJustices。]
  MORE。
  Nay,plaintiff,goyoutoo;——andofficers,[ExeuntSmart。]
  Standyouaside,andleavetheprisonerTomeawhile。——Lifter,comehither。
  LIFTER。
  Whatisyourworship’spleasure?
  MORE。
  Sirrah,youknowthatyouareknowntome,AndIhaveoftensavedyefromthisplace,SincefirstIcameinoffice:thouseestbeside,ThatJusticeSuresbyisthyheavyfriend,ByalltheblamethathepretendstoSmart,Fortemptingtheewithsuchasumofmoney。
  Itelltheewhat;devisemebutameansTopickorcuthispurse,and,onmycredit,AndasIamaChristianandaman,Iwillprocuretheypardonforthatjest。
  LIFTER。
  GoodMasterShrieve,seeknotmyoverthrow:
  Youknow,sir,Ihavemanyheavyfriends,Andmoreindictmentsliketocomeuponme。
  Youaretoodeepformetodealwithal;
  YouareknowntobeoneofthewisestmenThatisinEngland:Iprayye,MasterSheriff,Gonotabouttounderminemylife。
  MORE。
  Lifter,Iamtruesubjecttomyking;
  Thoumuchmistakeme:and,forthoushallnotthinkImeanbythistohurtthylifeatall,Iwillmaintaintheactwhenthouhastdoneit。
  Thouknowesttherearesuchmattersinmyhands,AsifIpleasedtogivethemtothejury,Ishouldnotneedthiswaytocircumventthee。
  AllthatIaimatisamerryjest:
  Performit,Lifter,andexpectmybest。
  LIFTER。
  Ithankyourworship:Godpreserveyourlife!
  ButMasterJusticeSuresbyisgonein;
  Iknownothowtocomenearwhereheis。
  MORE。
  Letmealoneforthat;I’llbethysetter;
  I’llsendhimhithertotheepresently,Underthecolourofthineownrequest,Ofprivatematterstoacquainthimwith。
  LIFTER。
  Ifyedoso,sir,thenletmealone;
  Fortytoonebutthenhispurseisgone。
  MORE。
  Wellsaid:butseethatthoudiminishnotOnepennyofthemoney,butgiveitme;
  Itisthecunningactthatcreditsthee。
  LIFTER。
  Iwill,goodMasterSheriff,Iassureye。
  [ExeuntMore。]
  IseethepurposeofthisgentlemanIsbuttocheckthefollyoftheJustice,Forblamingothersinadesperatecase,Whereinhimselfmayfallassoonasany。
  Tosavemylife,itisagoodadventure:
  Silencethere,ho!nowdoththeJusticeenter。
  [EnterJusticeSuresby。]
  SURESBY。
  Now,sirrah,now,whatisyourwillwithme?
  Wiltthoudischargethyconsciencelikeanhonestman?
  Whatsayesttome,sirrah?bebrief,bebrief。
  LIFTER。
  Asbrief,sir,asIcan。——
  [Aside。]Ifyestandfair,Iwillbebriefanon。
  SURESBY。
  Speakout,andmumblenot;whatsayestthou,sirrah?
  LIFTER。
  Sir,Iamcharged,asGodshallbemycomfort,Withmorethan’strue。
  SURESBY。
  Sir,sir,yeareindeed,withmorethan’strue,Foryouareflatlychargedwithfelony;
  You’rechargedwithmorethantruth,andthatistheft;
  Morethanatruemanshouldbechargedwithal;
  Thouartavarlet,that’snomorethantrue。
  Triflenotwithme;donot,donot,sirrah;
  Confessbutwhatthouknowest,Iasknomore。
  LIFTER。
  Therebe,sir,therebe,if’tshallpleaseyourworship——
  SURESBY。
  Therebe,varlet!whatbethere?tellmewhattherebe。
  Comeofforon:therebe!whatbethere,knave?
  LIFTER。
  Therebe,sir,diverseverycunningfellows,That,whileyoustandandlookthemintheface,Willhaveyourpurse。
  SURESBY。
  Th’artanhonestknave:
  Tellmewhatarethey?wheretheymaybecaught?
  Aye,thosearetheyIlookfor。
  LIFTER。
  Youtalkofme,sir;
  Alas,Iamapuny!there’soneindeedGoesbymyname,heputsdownallforpurses;
  He’llstealyourworship’spurseunderyournose。
  SURESBY。
  Ha,ha!Artthousosure,varlet?
  Well,well,Beasfamiliarasthouwilt,myknave;
  TisthisIlongtoknow。
  LIFTER。
  Andyoushallhaveyourlongingereyego。——
  Thisfellow,sir,perhapswillmeetyethus,Orthus,orthus,andinkindcomplementPretendacquaintance,somewhatdoubtfully;
  Andtheseembracesserve——
  SURESBY。
  Aye,marry,Lifter,whereforservethey?
  [Shrugginggladly。]
  LIFTER。
  OnlytofeelWhetheryougofullundersailorno,Orthatyourladingbeaboardyourbark。
  SURESBY。
  InplainerEnglish,Lifter,ifmypurseBestoredorno?
  LIFTER。
  Yehaveit,sir。
  SURESBY。
  Excellent,excellent。
  LIFTER。
  Then,sir,youcannotbutformanner’ssakeWalkonwithhim;forhewillwalkyourway,Allegingeitheryouhavemuchforgothim,Orhemistakesyou。
  SURESBY。
  Butinthistimehashemypurseorno?
  LIFTER。
  Notyet,sir,fie!——
  [Aside。}No,norIhavenotyours。——
  [EnterLordMayor,&c。]
  Butnowwemustforbear;mylordsreturn。
  SURESBY。
  Amurrenon’t!——Lifter,we’llmoreanon:
  Aye,thousayesttrue,thereareshrewdknavesindeed:
  [Hesitsdown。]
  Butletthemgullme,widgenme,rookme,fopme!
  Yfaith,yfaith,theyaretooshortforme。
  Knavesandfoolsmeetwhenpursesgo:
  Wisemenlooktotheirpurseswellenough。
  MORE。
  [Aside。]Lifter,isitdone?
  LIFTER。
  [Aside。]Done,MasterShreeve;andthereitis。
  MORE。
  [Aside。]Thenbuilduponmyword。I’llsavethylife。
  RECORDER。
  Lifter,standtothebar:
  Thejuryhavereturnedtheguilty;thoumustdie,Accordingtothecustom。——Looktoit,MasterShreeve。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Then,gentlemen,asyouarewonttodo,Becauseasyetwehavenoburialplace,Whatcharityyourmeaning’stobestowTowardburialoftheprisonersnowcondemned,Letitbegiven。Thereisfirstforme。
  RECORDER。
  Andthereforme。
  ANOTHER。
  Andme。
  SURESBY。
  Bodyofme,mypurseisgone!
  MORE。
  Gone,sir!what,here!howcanthatbe?
  LORDMAYOR。
  Againstallreason,sittingonthebench。
  SURESBY。
  Lifter,Italkedwithyou;youhavenotliftedme?ha!
  LIFTER。
  Suspectyeme,sir?Oh,whataworldisthis!
  MORE。
  Buthearye,masterSuresby;areyesureYehadapurseaboutye?
  SURESBY。
  Sure,MasterShrieve!assureasyouarethere,Andinitsevenpounds,oddmoney,onmyfaith。
  MORE。
  Sevenpounds,oddmoney!what,wereyousomad,Beingawisemanandamagistrate,Totrustyourpursewithsuchaliberalsum?
  Sevenpounds,oddmoney!foreGod,itisashame,Withsuchasumtotemptnecessity:
  Ipromiseye,amanthatgoesabroadWithanintentoftruth,meetingsuchabooty,Maybewroughttothatheneverthought。
  Whatmakessomanypilferersandfelons,ButthesefondbaitsthatfoolishpeoplelayTotempttheneedymiserablewretch?
  Shouldhebetakennowthathasyourpurse,I’dstandto’t,youareguiltyofhisdeath;
  For,questionless,hewouldbecastbylaw。
  Twereagooddeedtofineyeasmuchmore,Tothereliefofthepoorprisoners,Toteachyelockyourmoneyupathome。
  SURESBY。
  Well,MasterMore,youareamerryman;
  Ifindye,sir,Ifindyewellenough。
  MORE。
  Nay,yeshallsee,sir,trustingthusyourmoney,AndLifterhereintrialforlikecase,Butthatthepoormanisaprisoner,Itwouldbenowsuspectedthathehadit。
  ThusmayyeseewhatmischiefoftencomesBythefondcarriageofsuchneedlesssums。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Believeme,MasterSuresby,thisisstrange,You,beingamansosettledinassurance,Willfallinthatwhichyoucondemnedinother。
  MORE。
  Well,MasterSuresby,there’syourpurseagain,Andallyourmoney:fearnothingofMore;
  Wisdomstillkeepsthemeanandlocksthedoor。
  SCENEIII。London。Astateapartment。
  [EntertheEarlsofShrewsburyandSurrey,SirThomasPalmer,andSirRogerCholmley。]
  SHREWSBURY。
  MylordofSurrey,andSirThomasPalmerMightIwithpatiencetemptyourgraveadvise,Itellyetrue,thatinthesedangeroustimesIdonotlikethisfrowningvulgarbrow:
  MysearchingeyedidneverentertainAmoredistractedcountenanceofgriefThanIhavelateobservedInthedispleasedcommonsofthecity。
  SURREY。
  Tisstrangethatfromhisprincelyclemency,Sowellatemperedmercyandagrace,Toallthealiensinthisfruitfulland,Thatthishigh-crestedinsolenceshouldspringFromthemthatbreathefromhismajesticbounty,That,fattenedwiththetrafficofourcountry,Alreadyleapsintohissubject’sface。
  PALMER。
  YetSherwin,hinderedtocommencehissuitAgainstDeBardebytheambassador,Bysupplicationmadeuntotheking,Whohavingfirstenticedawayhiswife,Andgothisplate,nearworthfourhundredpound,TogrievesomewrongedcitizensthatfoundThisviledisgraceoftcastintotheirteeth,OflatesuesSherwin,andarrestedhimFormoneyfortheboardingofhiswife。
  SURREY。
  ThemoreknaveBarde,that,usingSherwin’sgoods,Dothaskhiminterestfortheoccupation。
  Ilikenotthat,mylordofShrewsbury:
  He’sillbestedthatlendsawellpacedhorseUntoamanthatwillnotfindhimmeet。
  CHOLMLEY。
  MylordofSurreywillbepleasantstill。
  PALMER。
  Aye,beingthenemployedbyyourhonorsTostaythebroilthatfellaboutthesame,WherebypersuasionIenforcedthewrongs,Andurgedthegriefofthedispleasedcity,Heansweredme,andwithasolemnoath,That,ifhehadtheMayorofLondon’swife,HewouldkeepherindespiteofanyEnglish。
  SURREY。
  Tisgood,SirThomas,then,foryouandme;
  Yourwifeisdead,andIabachelor:
  Ifnomancanpossesshiswifealone,Iamglad,SirThomasPalmer,Ihavenone。
  CHOLMLEY。
  Ifatakeawife,ashallfindhermeet。
  SURREY。
  Andreasongood,SirRogerCholmley,too。
  IfthesehotFrenchmenneedslywillhavesport,Theyshouldinkindnessyetdefraythecharge:
  Tishardwhenmenpossessourwivesinquiet,Andyetleaveusin,todischargetheirdiet。
  SHREWSBURY。
  Mylord,ourcatoursshallnotusethemarketForourprovision,butsomestrangernowWilltakethevittailesfromhimhehathbought:
  Acarpenter,asIwaslateinformed,WhohavingboughtapairofdovesinCheap,ImmediatelyaFrenchmantookthemfromhim,Andbeatthepoormanforresistinghim;
  Andwhenthefellowdidcomplainhiswrongs,Hewasseverelypunishedforhislabor。
  SURREY。
  ButiftheEnglishbloodbeoncebutup,AsIperceivetheirheartsalreadyfull,Ifearmemuch,beforetheirspleensbecold,SomeofthesesaucyaliensfortheirprideWillpayfor’tsoundly,wheresoereitlights:
  Thistideofragethatwiththeeddystrives,Ifearmemuch,willdrowntoomanylives。
  CHOLMLEY。
  Now,aforeGod,yourhonors,pardonme:
  Menofyourplaceandgreatnessaretoblame。
  Itellyetrue,mylords,inthathismajestyIsnotinformedofthisbaseabuseAnddailywrongsareofferedtohissubjects;
  For,ifhewere,IknowhisgraciouswisdomWouldsoonredressit。
  [EnteraMessenger。]
  SHREWSBURY。
  Sirrah,whatnews?
  CHOLMLEY。
  Nonegood,Ifear。
  MESSENGER。
  Mylord,illnews;andworse,Ifear,willfollow,Ifspeedilyitbenotlookedunto:
  Thecityisinanuproar,andtheMayorIsthreatened,ifhecomeoutofhishouse。
  AnumberpoorartificersareupInarmsandthreatentoavengetheirwrongs。
  CHOLMLEY。
  Wefearedwhatthiswouldcomeunto:
  ThisfollowsonthedoctorspublishingThebillofwrongsinpublicattheSpittle。
  SHREWSBURY。
  ThatDoctorBealemaychancebeshrewhimselfForreadingofthebill。
  PALMER。
  LetusgogatherforcestotheMayor,Forquicksuppressingthisrebelliousroute。
  SURREY。
  NowIbethinkmyselfofMasterMore,Oneofthesheriffs,awiseandlearnedgentleman,Andinespecialfavourwiththepeople:
  He,backedwithothergraveandsobermen,MaybyhisgentleandpersuasivespeechPerhapsprevailmorethanwecanwithpower。
  SHREWSBURY。
  Believeme,butyourhonorwelladvises:
  Letusmakehaste;forIdogreatlyfearSomeoftheirgravesthismorning’sworkwillbear。
  [Exeunt。]
  ACTII。
  SCENEI。Cheapside。
  [EnterthreeorfourApprenticesoftrades,withapairofcudgels。]
  HARRY。
  Come,laydownthecudgels。Ho,Robin,youmetuswellatBunhill,tohaveyouwithusaMayingthismorning。
  ROBIN。
  Faith,Harry,theheaddrawerattheMiterbythegreatConduitcalledmeup,andwewenttobreakfastintoSt。Annelane。Butcome,whobegins?ingoodfaith,Iamcleanoutofpractise。WhenwastatGarretsschool,Harry?
  HARRY。
  Notthisgreatwhile,neversinceIbrakehisushershead,whenheplayedhisscholarsprizeattheStarinBread-street。IusealltoGeorgePhilpotsatDowgate;he’sthebestbackswordmaninEngland。
  KIT。
  Batemeanaceofthat,quothBolton。
  HARRY。
  I’llnotbateyeapinon’t,sir;for,bythiscudgel,tistrue。
  KIT。
  Iwillcudgelthatopinionoutofye:didyoubreakanushershead,sir?
  HARRY。
  Aye,marry,didI,sir。
  KIT。
  Iamverygladon’t:youshallbreakminetoo,andyecan。
  HARRY。
  Sirrah,Iprithee,whatartthou?
  KIT。
  Why,Iamaprenticeasthouart;seestthounow?I’llplaywiththeeatblunthereinCheapside,andwhenthouhastdone,ifthoubeestangry,I’llfightwiththeeatsharpinMoorefields。Ihaveaswordtoservemyturninafavor……comeJulie,toserve……
  SCENEII。SaintMartins-le-Grand。
  [EnterLincoln,twoBettses,Williamson,Sherwin,andother,armed;Dollinashirtofmail,aheadpiece,sword,andbuckler;acrewattending。]
  CLOWN。
  Come,come;we’lltickletheirturnips,we’llbuttertheirboxes。
  Shallstrangersruletheroost?yes;butwe’llbastetheroost。Come,come;aflaunt,aflaunt!
  GEORGE。
  Brother,giveplace,andhearJohnLincolnspeak。
  CLOWN。
  Aye,Lincolnmyleader,AndDollmytruebreeder,Withtherestofourcrew,Shallrantantarraran;
  Doalltheywhattheycan。
  Shallwebebobbed,braved?no:
  Shallwebeheldunder?no;
  Wearefreeborne,AnddotakescornTobeusedso。
  DOLL。
  Peacethere,Isay!hearCaptainLincolnspeak;keepsilence,tillweknowhismindatlarge。
  CLOWN。
  Thenlargelydeliver;speak,bully:andhethatpresumestointerrupttheeinthyoration,thisforhim。
  LINCOLN。
  Then,gallantbloods,youwhosefreesoulsdoscornTobeartheinforcedwrongsofaliens,Addragetoresolution,firethehousesOftheseaudaciousstrangers。ThisisSt。Martins,AndyonderdwellsMutas,awealthyPiccardy,AttheGreenGate,DeBarde,PeterVanHollocke,AdrianMartine,Withmanymoreoutlandishfugitives。
  ShalltheseenjoymoreprivilegethanweInourowncountry?let’s,then,becometheirslaves。
  Sincejusticekeepsnotthemingreaterawe,Webeourselvesroughministersatlaw。
  CLOWN。
  Usenomoreswords,nornomorewords,butfirethehouses;bravecaptaincourageous,firemetheirhouses。
  DOLL。
  Aye,forwemayaswellmakebonfiresonMaydayasatmidsummer:we’llalterthedayinthecalendar,andsetitdowninflamingletters。
  SHERWIN。
  Stay!
  No,thatwouldmuchendangerthewholecity,WheretoIwouldnottheleastprejudice。
  DOLL。
  No,norIneither;somaymineownhousebeburnedforcompany。
  I’lltellyewhat:we’lldragthestrangersintoMorefields,andtherebombastthemtilltheystinkagain。
  CLOWN。
  Andthat’ssoondone;fortheysmellforfearalready。
  GEORGE。
  Letsomeofusenterthestrangers’houses,And,ifwefindthemthere,thenbringthemforth。
  DOLL。
  Butifyebringthemforthereyefindthem,I’llne’erallowofthat。
  CLOWN。
  Now,Mars,forthyhonor,DutchorFrench,Soitbeawench,I’lluponher。
  [ExeuntsomeandSherwin。]
  WILLIAMSON。
  Now,lads,sureshallwelaborinoursafety。
  IheartheMayorhathgatheredmeninarms,AndthatShreeveMoreanhouragorisedSomeofthePrivyCounselinatLudgate:
  Forcenowmustmakeourpeace,orelsewefall;
  ’Twillsoonbeknownwearetheprincipal。
  DOLL。
  Andwhatofthat?ifthoubeestafraid,husband,gohomeagain,andhidetheyhead;for,bytheLord,I’llhavealittlesport,nowweareatit。
  GEORGE。
  Let’sstanduponourswords,and,iftheycome,Receivethemastheywereourenemies。
  [EnterSherwinandtherest。]
  CLOWN。
  Apurchase,apurchase!wehavefound,wehafound——
  DOLL。
  What?
  CLOWN。
  Nothing;notaFrenchFlemingnoraFlemingFrenchtobefound;
  butallfled,inplainEnglish。
  LINCOLN。
  Hownow!haveyoufoundany?
  SHERWIN。
  No,notone;they’reallfled。
  LINCOLN。
  Thenfirethehouses,that,theMayorbeingbusyAboutthequenchingofthem,wemayescape;
  Burndowntheirkennels:letusstraightaway,LeastthisdayprovetousanillMayday。
  CLOWN。
  Fire,fire!I’llbethefirst:
  Ifhangingcome,tiswelcome;that’stheworst。
  [Exeunt。]
  SCENEIII。TheGuildhall。
  [EnteratonedoorSirThomasMoreandLordMayor;atanotherdoorSirJohnMundayhurt。]
  LORDMAYOR。
  What,SirJohnMunday,areyouhurt?
  SIRJOHN。
  Alittleknock,mylord。TherewasevennowAsortofprenticesplayingatcudgels;
  Ididcommandthemtotheirmasters’houses;
  Butnow,Ifearme,theyaregonetojoinWithLincoln,Sherwin,andtheirdangeroustrain。
  MORE。
  ThecaptainsofthisinsurrectionHavetakenthemselvestoarms,andcamebutnowToboththeCounters,wheretheyhavereleasedSundryindebtedprisoners,andfromthenceIhearthattheyaregoneintoSt。Martins,WheretheyintendtoofferviolenceTotheamazedLombards:therefore,mylord,Ifweexpectthesafetyofthecity,TistimethatforceorparleydoencounterWiththesedispleasedmen。
  [EnteraMessenger。]
  LORDMAYOR。
  Hownow!whatnews?
  MESSENGER。
  Mylord,therebelshavebrokeopenNewgate,Fromwhencetheyhavedeliveredmanyprisoners,Bothfelonsandnotoriousmurderers,Thatdesperatelycleavetotheirlawlesstrain。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Upwiththedrawbridge,gathersomeforcesToCornhillandCheapside:——and,gentlemen,Ifdiligencebeweighedoneveryside,Aquietebbwillfollowthisroughtide。
  [EnterShrewsbury,Surrey,Palmer,andCholmley。]
  SHREWSBURY。
  LordMayor,hismajesty,receivingnoticeOfthismostdangerousinsurrection,HathsentmylordofSurreyandmyself,SirThomasPalmerandourfollowers,ToadduntoyourforcesourbestmeansForpacifyingofthismutiny。
  InGod’sname,then,setonwithhappyspeed!
  Thekinglaments,ifonetruesubjectbleed。
  SURREY。
  IheartheymeantofiretheLombards’houses:
  Ohpower,whatartthouinamadman’seyes!
  Thoumakesttheploddingidiotbloody-wise。
  MORE。
  Mylords,IdoubtnotbutweshallappeaseWithacalmbreaththisfluxofdiscontent:
  Tocallthemtoaparley,questionless——
  PALMER。
  Mayfalloutgood:tiswellsaid,MasterMore。
  MORE。
  Let’stothesesimplemen;formanysweatUnderthisact,thatknowsnotthelaw’sdebtWhichhangsupontheirlives;forsillymenPlodontheyknownothow,likeafool’spen,That,ending,showsnotanysentencewrit,Linkedbuttocommonreasonorslightestwit:
  Thesefollowfornoharm;butyetincurSelfpenaltywiththosethatraisedthisstir。
  AGod’sname,on,tocalmourprivatefoesWithbreathofgravity,notdangerousblows!
  SCENEIV。St。Martin’sGate。
  [EnterLincoln,Doll,Clown,GeorgeBetts,Williamson,others;
  andaSergeantatArms。]
  LINCOLN。
  Peace,hearme:hethatwillnotseearedherringataHarrygroat,butteratelevenpenceapound,mealatnineshillingsabushel,andbeefatfournoblesastone,listtome。
  GEORGE。
  Itwillcometothatpass,ifstrangersbesuffered。Markhim。
  LINCOLN。
  Ourcountryisagreateatingcountry;ergo,theyeatmoreinourcountrythantheydointheirown。
  CLOWN。
  Byahalfpennyloaf,aday,troyweight。
  LINCOLN。
  Theybringinstrangeroots,whichismerelytotheundoingofpoorprentices;forwhat’sasorryparsniptoagoodheart?
  WILLIAMSON。
  Trash,trash;theybreedsoreeyes,andtisenoughtoinfectthecitywiththepalsey。
  LINCOLN。
  Nay,ithasinfecteditwiththepalsey;forthesebastardsofdung,asyouknowtheygrowindung,haveinfectedus,anditisourinfectionwillmakethecityshake,whichpartlycomesthroughtheeatingofparsnips。
  CLOWN。
  True;andpumpkinstogether。
  SERGEANT。
  Whatsayyetothemercyoftheking?
  Doyerefuseit?
  LINCOLN。
  Youwouldhaveusuponthis,wouldyou?no,marry,dowenot;
  weacceptoftheking’smercy,butwewillshownomercyuponthestrangers。
  SERGEANT。
  YouarethesimplestthingsthateverstoodInsuchaquestion。
  LINCOLN。
  Howsayyenow,prentices?prenticessimple!downwithhim!
  ALL。
  Prenticessimple!prenticessimple!
  [EntertheLordMayor,Surrey,Shrewsbury,More。]
  LORDMAYOR。
  Hold!intheking’sname,hold!
  SURREY。
  Friends,masters,countrymen——
  LORDMAYOR。
  Peace,how,peace!Ichargeyou,keepthepeace!
  SHREWSBURY。
  Mymasters,countrymen——
  WILLIAMSON。
  ThenobleearlofShrewsbury,let’shearhim。
  GEORGE。
  We’llheartheearlofSurrey。
  LINCOLN。
  TheearlofShrewsbury。
  GEORGE。
  We’llhearboth。
  ALL。
  Both,both,both,both!
  LINCOLN。
  Peace,Isay,peace!areyoumenofwisdom,orwhatareyou?
  SURREY。
  Whatyouwillhavethem;butnotmenofwisdom。
  ALL。
  We’llnothearmylordofSurrey;no,no,no,no,no!Shrewsbury,Shrewsbury!
  MORE。
  Whilestheyareo’erthebankoftheirobedience,Thuswilltheybeardownallthings。
  LINCOLN。
  SheriffMorespeaks;shallwehearSheriffMorespeak?
  DOLL。
  Let’shearhim:akeepsaplentyfulshrievaltry,andamademybrotherArthurWatchinsSeriantSafesyeoman:let’shearShrieveMore。
  ALL。
  ShrieveMore,More,More,ShrieveMore!
  MORE。
  Evenbytheruleyouhaveamongyourselves,Commandstillaudience。
  ALL。
  Surrey,Surrey!More,More!
  LINCOLN:
  Peace,peace,silence,peace。
  GEORGE。
  Peace,peace,silence,peace。
  MORE。
  YouthathavevoiceandcreditwiththenumberCommandthemtoastillness。
  LINCOLN。
  Aplagueonthem,theywillnotholdtheirpeace;thedualcannotrulethem。
  MORE。
  Thenwhataroughandriotouschargehaveyou,Toleadthosethatthedualcannotrule?——
  Goodmasters,hearmespeak。
  DOLL。
  Aye,byth’mass,willwe,More:th’artagoodhousekeeper,andI
  thankthygoodworshipformybrotherArthurWatchins。
  ALL。
  Peace,peace。
  MORE。
  Look,whatyoudooffendyoucryupon,Thatis,thepeace:notoneofyouherepresent,Hadtheresuchfellowslivedwhenyouwerebabes,Thatcouldhavetoppedthepeace,asnowyouwould,ThepeacewhereinyouhavetillnowgrownupHadbeenta’enfromyou,andthebloodytimesCouldnothavebroughtyoutothestateofmen。
  Alas,poorthings,whatisityouhavegot,Althoughwegrantyougetthethingyouseek?
  GEORGE。
  Marry,theremovingofthestrangers,whichcannotchoosebutmuchadvantagethepoorhandicraftsofthecity。
  MORE。
  Grantthemremoved,andgrantthatthisyournoiseHathchiddownallthemajestyofEngland;
  Imaginethatyouseethewretchedstrangers,Theirbabiesattheirbacksandtheirpoorluggage,Ploddingtoothportsandcostsfortransportation,Andthatyousitaskingsinyourdesires,Authorityquitesilentbyyourbrawl,Andyouinruffofyouropinionsclothed;
  Whathadyougot?I’lltellyou:youhadtaughtHowinsolenceandstronghandshouldprevail,Howordershouldbequelled;andbythispatternNotoneofyoushouldliveanagedman,Forotherruffians,astheirfancieswrought,Withselfsamehand,selfreasons,andselfright,Wouldsharkonyou,andmenlikeravenousfishesWouldfeedononeanother。
  DOLL。
  BeforeGod,that’sastrueastheGospel。
  LINCOLN。
  Nay,thisisasoundfellow,Itellyou:let’smarkhim。
  MORE。
  Letmesetupbeforeyourthoughts,goodfriends,Onsupposition;whichifyouwillmark,YoushallperceivehowhorribleashapeYourinnovationbears:first,tisasinWhichofttheapostledidforewarnusof,Urgingobediencetoauthority;
  Andtwerenoerror,ifItoldyouall,YouwereinarmsagainstyourGodhimself。
  ALL。
  Marry,Godforbidthat!
  MORE。
  Nay,certainlyyouare;
  FortothekingGodhathhisofficelentOfdread,ofjustice,powerandcommand,Hathbidhimrule,andwilledyoutoobey;
  And,toaddamplermajestytothis,Hehathnotonlylentthekinghisfigure,Histhroneandsword,butgivenhimhisownname,Callshimagodonearth。Whatdoyou,then,RisinggainsthimthatGodhimselfinstalls,ButriseagainstGod?whatdoyoutoyoursoulsIndoingthis?O,desperateasyouare,Washyourfoulmindswithtears,andthosesamehands,Thatyoulikerebelsliftagainstthepeace,Liftupforpeace,andyourunreverentknees,Makethemyourfeettokneeltobeforgiven!
  Tellmebutthis:whatrebelcaptain,Asmutiniesareincident,byhisnameCanstilltherout?whowillobeyatraitor?
  Orhowcanwellthatproclamationsound,WhenthereisnoadditionbutarebelToqualifyarebel?You’llputdownstrangers,Killthem,cuttheirthroats,possesstheirhouses,Andleadthemajestyoflawinline,Tosliphimlikeahound。Saynowtheking(Asheisclement,ifth’offendermourn)
  ShouldsomuchcometoshortofyourgreattrespassAsbuttobanishyou,whetherwouldyougo?
  Whatcountry,bythenatureofyourerror,Shouldgiveyouharbor?goyoutoFranceorFlanders,ToanyGermanprovince,toSpainorPortugal,Nay,anywherethatnotadherestoEngland,——
  Why,youmustneedsbestrangers:wouldyoubepleasedTofindanationofsuchbarbaroustemper,That,breakingoutinhideousviolence,Wouldnotaffordyouanabodeonearth,Whettheirdetestedknivesagainstyourthroats,Spurnyoulikedogs,andlikeasifthatGodOwednotnormadenotyou,northattheclaimantsWerenotallappropriatetoyourcomforts,Butchartereduntothem,whatwouldyouthinkTobethusused?thisisthestrangerscase;
  Andthisyourmountanishinhumanity。
  ALL。
  Faith,asaystrue:let’sdoaswemaybedoneto。
  LINCOLN。
  We’llberuledbyyou,MasterMore,ifyou’llstandourfriendtoprocureourpardon。
  MORE。
  Submityoutothesenoblegentlemen,Entreattheirmediationtotheking,Giveupyourselftoform,obeythemagistrate,Andthere’snodoubtbutmercymaybefound,Ifyousoseek。
  Topersistinitispresentdeath:but,ifyouYieldyourselves,nodoubtwhatpunishmentYouinsimplicityhaveincurred,hishighnessInmercywillmostgraciouslypardon。
  ALL。
  Weyield,anddesirehishighness’mercy。
  [Theylaybytheirweapons。]
  MORE。
  Nodoubthismajestywillgrantityou:
  Butyoumustyieldtogotoseveralprisons,Tillthathishighness’willbefurtherknown。
  ALL。
  Mostwillingly;whetheryouwillhaveus。
  SHREWSBURY。
  LordMayor,letthembesenttoseveralprisons,Andthere,inanycase,bewellintreated。——
  MylordofSurrey,pleaseyoutotakehorse,AndridetoCheapside,wherethealdermenArewiththeirseveralcompaniesinarms;
  Willthemtogountotheirseveralwards,Bothforthestayoffurthmutiny,AndfortheapprehendingofsuchpersonsAsshallcontend。
  SURREY。
  Igo,mynoblelord。
  [ExitSurrey。]
  SHREWSBURY。
  We’llstraightgotellhishighnessthesegoodnews;
  Withal,ShrieveMore,I’lltellhimhowyourbreathHathransomedmanyasubjectfromsaddeath。
  [ExitShrewsburyandCholmley。]
  LORDMAYOR。
  LincolnandSherwin,youshallbothtoNewgate;
  TherestuntotheCounters。
  PALMER。
  Goguardthemhence:alittlebreathwellspentCheatsexpectationinhisfairestevent。
  DOLL。
  Well,SheriffMore,thouhastdonemorewiththygoodwordsthanalltheycouldwiththeirweapons:givemethyhand,keepthypromisenowfortheking’spardon,or,bytheLord,I’llcalltheeaplainconey-catcher。
  LINCOLN。
  Farewell,ShrieveMore;andasweyieldbythee,Somakeourpeace;thenthoudealsthonestly。
  CLOWN。
  Aye,andsaveusfromthegallows,elseadevil’sdoublehonestly!
  [Theyareledaway。]
  LORDMAYOR。
  MasterShrieveMore,youhavepreservedthecityFromamostdangerousfiercecommotion;
  For,ifthislimbofriothereinSt。MartinsHadjoinedwithotherbranchesofthecityThatdidbegintokindle,twouldhavebredGreatrage;thatragemuchmurderwouldhavefed。
  Notsteel,buteloquencehathwroughtthisgood:
  Youhaveredeemedusfrommuchthreatenedblood。
  MORE。
  Mylordandbrethren,whatIherehavespoke,Mycountry’slove,andnextthecity’scare,Enjoinedmeto;whichsinceitthusprevails,Think,GodhathmadeweakMorehisinstrumentTothwartsedition’sviolentintent。
  Ithinktwerebest,mylord,sometwohourshenceWemeetattheGuildhall,andtheredetermineThatthorougheverywardthewatchbecladInarmor,butespeciallyproudThatatthecitygatesselectedmen,Substantialcitizens,dowardtonight,Forfearoffurthermischief。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Itshallbeso:
  ButyondmethinksmylordofShrewsbury。
  [EnterShrewsbury。]
  SHREWSBURY。
  Mylord,hismajestysendslovingthanksToyou,yourbrethren,andhisfaithfulsubjects,Yourcarefulcitizens。——But,MasterMore,toyouArougher,yetaskind,asalutation:
  Aknightscreationisthisknightlysteel。
  Riseup,SirThomasMore。
  MORE。
  Ithankhishighnessforthushonoringme。
  SHREWSBURY。
  Thisisbutfirsttasteofhisprincelyfavor:
  Forithathpleasedhishighmajesty(Notingyourwisdomanddeservingmerit)
  Toputthisstaffofhonorinyourhand,ForhehathchoseyouofhisPrivyCouncil。
  MORE。
  Mylord,fortodenymysovereign’sbountyWeretodroppreciousstonesintotheheapsWhencetheyfirstcame;
  Tourgemyimperfectionsinexcuse,Wereallasstaleascustom:no,mylord,Myserviceismykings;goodreasonwhy,——
  Sincelifeordeathhangsonoursovereign’seye。
  LORDMAYOR。
  HismajestyhathhonoredmuchthecityInthishisprincelychoice。
  MORE。
  Mylordandbrethren,ThoughIdepartforcourtmyloveshallrestWithyou,asheretofore,afaithfulguest。
  Inowmustsleepincourt,soundsleepsforbear;
  Thechamberlaintostateispubliccare:
  Yet,inthisrisingofmyprivateblood,Mystudiousthoughtsshalltendthecity’sgood。
  [EnterCrofts。]
  SHREWSBURY。
  Hownow,Crofts!whatnews?
  CROFTS。
  Mylord,hishighnesssendsexpresscommandThatarecordbeenteredofthisriot,AndthatthechiefandcapitaloffendersBethereonstraightarraigned,forhimselfintendsTositinpersonontheresttomorrowAtWestminster。
  SHREWSBURY。
  LordMayor,youhearyourcharge。——
  Come,goodSirThomasMore,tocourtlet’shie;
  Youareth’appeaserofthismutiny。
  MORE。
  Mylord,farewell:newdaysbegetsnewtides;
  Lifewhirlsboutfate,thentoagraveitslides。
  [Exeuntseverally。]