ACTIII。
  SCENEI。Cheapside。
  [EnterMasterSheriff,andmeetaMessenger。]
  SHERIFF。
  Messenger,whatnews?
  MESSENGER。
  Isexecutionyetperformed?
  SHERIFF。
  Notyet;thecartsstandreadyatthestairs,AndtheyshallpresentlyawaytoTibourne。
  MESSENGER。
  Stay,MasterShrieve;itisthecouncil’spleasure,Formoreexampleinsobadacase,AgibbetbeerectedinCheapside,HardbytheStandard;whetheryoumustbringLincolnandthosethatwerethechiefwithhim,[EnterOfficers。]
  Tosufferdeath,andthatimmediately。
  SHERIFF。
  Itshallbedone,sir。
  [ExitMessenger。]
  ——Officers,bespeedy;
  Callforagibbet,seeitbeerected;
  OthersmakehastetoNewgate,bidthembringTheprisonershither,fortheyheremustdie:
  Away,Isay,andseenotimebeslacked。
  OFFICERS。
  Wego,sir。
  [Exitsomeseverally;otherssetupthegibbet。]
  SHERIFF。
  That’swellsaid,fellow;nowyoudoyourduty。——
  Godforhispityhelpthesetroubloustimes!
  Thestreetsstoppedupwithgazingmultitudes:
  CommandourarmedofficerswithhalberdsMakewayforentranceoftheprisoners;
  Letproclamationonceagainbemade。
  Thateveryhouseholder,onpainofdeath,Keepinhisprentices,andeverymanStandwithaweaponreadyathisdoor,Ashewillanswertothecontrary。
  OFFICER。
  I’llseeitdone,sir。
  [Exit。]
  [EnteranotherOfficer。]
  SHERIFF。
  Bringthemawaytoexecution:
  Thewritiscomeabovetwohourssince:
  Thecitywillbefinedforthisneglect。
  OFFICER。
  There’ssuchapressandmultitudeatNewgate,Theycannotbringthecartsontothestairs,Totaketheprisonersin。
  SHERIFF。
  Thenletthemcomeonfoot;
  Wemaynotdallytimewithgreatcommand。
  OFFICER。
  Someofthebench,sir,thinkitveryfitThatstaybemade,andgiveitoutabroadTheexecutionisdeferredtillmorning,And,whenthestreetsshallbealittlecleared,Tochainthemup,andsuddenlydispatchit。
  SHERIFF。
  Stay;inmeantimemethinkstheycomealong:
  See,theyarecoming。So,tisverywell:
  [Theprisonersarebroughtin,wellguarded。]
  BringLincolntherethefirstuntothetree。
  CLOWN。
  I,forIcrylug,sir。
  LINCOLN。
  Iknewthefirst,sir,didbelongtome:
  Thistheoldproverbnowcompletedothmake,ThatLincolnshouldbehangedforLondon’ssake。
  [Hegoesup。]
  AGod’sname,letustowork。Fellow,dispatch:
  Iwastheforemostmaninthisrebellion,AndItheforemostthatmustdieforit。
  DOLL。
  Bravely,JohnLincoln,letthydeathexpress,That,asthouliv’dstaman,thoudiestnoless。
  LINCOLN。
  DollWilliamson,thineeyesshallwitnessit。——
  ThentoallyouthatcometoviewmineendImustconfess,Ihadnoillintent,Butagainstsuchaswrongedusovermuch:
  AndnowIcanperceiveitwasnotfitThatprivatemenshouldcarveouttheirredress,Whichwaytheylist;no,learnitnowbyme,——
  Obedienceisthebestineachdegree:
  Andaskingmercymeeklyofmyking,Ipatientlysubmitmetothelaw;
  ButGodforgivethemthatwerecauseofit!
  And,asaChristian,trulyfrommyheartIlikewisecravetheywouldforgivemetoo(AsfreelyasIdoforgivetheirwrong)
  ThatothersbyexampleofthesameHenceforthbewarnedtoattemptthelikeGainstanyalienthatrepairethhither。
  Fareyewell,all:thenexttimethatwemeet,Itrustinheavenweshalleachothergreet。
  [Heleapsoff。]
  DOLL。
  Farewell,JohnLincoln:sayallwhattheycan,Thouliv’dstagoodfellow,anddiedstanhonestman。
  CLOWN。
  WouldIwearsofaironmyjourney!thefirststretchistheworst,methinks。
  SHERIFF。
  BringWilliamsonthereforward。
  DOLL。
  GoodMasterShrieve,Ihaveanearnestsuit,And,asyouareaman,deny’tmenot。
  SHERIFF。
  Woman,whatisit?beitinmypower,Thoushaltobtainit。
  DOLL。
  Letmedienext,sir;thatisallIcrave:
  YouknownotwhatacomfortyoushallbringTomypoorheart,todiebeforemyhusband。
  SHERIFF。
  Bringhertodeath;sheshallhaveherdesire。
  CLOWN。
  Sir,andIhaveasuitforyoutoo。
  SHERIFF。
  Whatisit?
  CLOWN。
  That,asyouhavehangedLincolnfirst,andwillhanghernext,soyouwillnothangmeatall。
  SHERIFF。
  Nay,yousetope’theCountergates,andyoumusthangforthefolly。
  CLOWN。
  Well,then,somuchforit!
  DOLL。
  Sir,yourfreebountymuchcontentsmymind。
  CommendmetothatgoodshrieveMasterMore,Andtellhim,had’tnotbeenforhispersuasion,JohnLincolnhadnothunghereashedoes:
  WewouldfirsthavelockedusupinLeadenhall,Andtherebeenburnttoasheswiththeroof。
  SHERIFF。
  Woman,whatMasterMoredidwasasubject’sduty,Andhathsopleasedourgraciouslordtheking,Thatheishenceremovedtohigherplace,Andmadeofcounciltohismajesty。
  DOLL。
  Wellisheworthyofit,bymytroth,Anhonest,wise,wellspokengentleman;
  YetwouldIpraisehishonestymuchmore,Ifhehadkepthisword,andsavedourlives:
  Butletthatpass;menarebutmen,andsoWordsarebutwords,andpaysnotwhatmenowe。——
  You,husband,sinceperhapstheworldmaysayThatthroughmymeansthoucomestthustothyend,HereIbeginthiscupofdeathtothee,BecausethoushaltbesuretotastenoworseThanIhavetakenthatmustgobeforethee。
  WhatthoughIbeawoman?that’snomatter;
  IdooweGodadeath,andImustpayhim。
  Husband,givemethyhand;benotdismayed;
  Thischairbeingchaired,thenallourdebtispaid。
  Onlytwolittlebabesweleavebehindus,AndallIcanbequeaththematthistimeIsbuttheloveofsomegoodhonestfriend,Tobringthemupincharitablesort:
  What,masters!hegoesuprightthatneverhalts,Andtheymaylivetomendtheirparents’faults。
  WILLIAMSON。
  Why,wellsaid,wife;yfaith,thoucheerestmyheart:
  Givemethyhand;let’skiss,andsolet’spart。
  [Hekissesherontheladder。]
  DOLL。
  Thenextkiss,Williamson,shallbeinheaven。——
  Nowcheerily,lads!GeorgeBetts,ahandwiththee;
  Andthinetoo,Rafe,andthine,goodhonestSherwin。
  Nowletmetellthewomenofthistown,NostrangeryetbroughtDolltolyingdown:
  SolongasIanEnglishmancansee,NorFrenchnorDutchshallgetakissofme;
  AndwhenthatIamdead,formeyetsay,Idiedinscorntobeastranger’sprey。
  [Agreatshoutandnoise,crywithin’Pardon,pardon,pardon,pardon!RoomfortheEarlofSurrey,roomthere,room!’。]
  [EnterSurrey。]
  SURREY。
  Savetheman’slife,ifitbepossible。
  SHERIFF。
  Itistoolate,mylord;he’sdeadalready。
  SURREY。
  Itellye,MasterSheriff,youaretooforward,Tomakesuchhastewithmenuntotheirdeath;
  Ithinkyourpainswillmeritlittlethanks,SincethathishighnessissomercifulAsnottospillthebloodofanysubject。
  SHERIFF。
  Mynoblelord,wouldwesomuchhadknown!
  TheCouncils’warranthastenedourdispatch;
  Ithadnotelsebeendonesosuddenly。
  SURREY。
  SirThomasMorehumblyuponhiskneeDidbegthelivesofall,sinceonhiswordTheydidsogentlyyield:thekinghathgrantedit,AndmadehimLordHighChancellorofEngland。
  Accordingasheworthilydeserves。
  SinceLincoln’slifecannotbehadagain,Thenfortherest,frommydreadsovereign’slips,Iherepronouncefreepardonforthemall。
  ALL。
  Godsavetheking,Godsavetheking!
  MygoodLordChancellor,andtheEarlofSurrey!
  [Flingingupcaps。]
  DOLL。
  AndDolldesiresitfromherveryheart,More’snamemayliveforthisrightnoblepart;
  AndwhensoerewetalkofillMayday,PraiseMore……
  SURREY。
  Inhopehishighness’clemencyandmercy,WhichinthearmsofmildandmeekcompassionWouldratherclipyou,asthelovingnurseOftdoththewaywardinfant,thentoleaveyouTothesharprodofjustice,sotodrawyouToshunsuchlewdassembliesasbegetUnlawfulriotsandsuchtraitorousacts,That,strikingwiththehandofprivatehate,Maimyourdearcountrywithapublicwound:——
  OhGod,thatMercy,whosemajesticbrowShouldbeunwrinkled,andthatawfulJustice,WhichlookeththroughavailofsufferanceUponthefrailtyofthemultitude,ShouldwiththeclamoursofoutrageouswrongsBestirredandwakenedthustopunishment!——
  Butyourdeserveddeathhedothforgive:
  Whogivesyoulife,prayallhelongmaylive。
  ALL。
  Godsavetheking,Godsavetheking!
  MygoodLordChancellor,andtheEarlofSurrey!
  [Exeunt。]
  SCENEII。Chelsea。ARoominMore’sHouse。
  [Atablebeingcoveredwithagreencarpet,astatecushiononit,andthePurseandMacelyingthereon,enterSirThomasMore。]
  MORE。
  itisinheaventhatIamthusandthus;
  AndthatwhichweprofanelytermourfortunesIstheprovisionofthepowerabove,FittedandshapedjusttothatstrengthofnatureWhichwearebornewithal。GoodGod,goodGo,ThatIfromsuchanhumblebenchofbirthShouldstepastwereuptomycountry’shead,Andgivethelawoutthere!I,inmyfather’slife,TotakeprerogativeandtitheofkneesFromelderkinsmen,andhimbindbymyplaceTogivethesmoothanddexterwaytomeThatoweithimbynature!Sure,thesethings,Notphysickedbyrespect,mightturnourbloodTomuchcorruption:but,More,themorethouhast,Eitherofhonor,office,wealth,andcalling,Whichmightexcitetheetoembraceandhubthem,Themoredoethouinserpents’naturesthinkthem;
  Feartheirgayskinswiththoughtoftheirsharpstate;
  Andletthisbethymaxim,tobegreatIswhenthethreadofhaydayisonce’spon,Abottomgreatwoundupgreatundone。——
  Comeon,sir:areyouready?
  [EnterRandall,attiredlikeSirThomasMore。]
  RANDALL。
  Yes,mylord,Istandbutonafewpoints;Ishallhavedonepresently。BeforeGod,Ihavepractisedyourlordship’sshiftsowell,thatIthinkIshallgrowproud,mylord。
  MORE。
  Tisfitthoushouldstwaxproud,orelsethou’ltne’erBenearalliedtogreatness。Observeme,sirrah。
  ThelearnedclarkErasmusisarrivedWithinourEnglishcourt:lastnightIhearHefeastedwithourhonoredEnglishpoet,TheEarlofSurrey;andIlearnedtodayThefamousclarkofRotterdamwillvisitSirThomasMore。Therefore,sir,takemyseat;
  youareLordChancellor:dressyourbehaviorAccordingtomycarriage;butbewareYoutalknotovermuch,fortwillbetraythee:
  Whopratesnotmuchseemswise;hiswitfewscan;
  Whilethetongueblabstalesoftheimperfectman。
  I’llseeifgreatErasmuscandistinguishMeritandoutwardceremony。
  RANDALL。
  IfIdonotserveashareforplayingofyourlordshipwell,letmebeyeomanushertoyoursumpter,andbebanishedfromwearingofagoldchainforever。
  MORE。
  Well,sir,I’llhideourmotion:actmypartWithafirmboldness,andthouwinstmyheart。
  [EntertheShrieve,withFaulkneraruffian,andOfficers。]
  Hownow!what’sthematter?
  FAULKNER。
  Tugmenot,I’mnobear。’Sblood,ifallthedogsinParisGardenhungatmytail,I’dshake’emoffwiththis,thatI’llappearbeforenokingchristenedbutmygoodLordChancellor。
  SHRIEVE。
  We’llchristenyou,sirrah。——Bringhimforward。
  MORE。
  Hownow!whattumultsmakeyou?
  FAULKNER。
  TheazuredheavensprotectmynobleLordChancellor!
  MORE。
  Whatfellow’sthis?
  SHRIEVE。
  Aruffian,mylord,thathathsethalfthecityinanuproar。
  FAULKNER。
  Mylord——
  SHRIEVE。
  TherewasafrayinPaternoster-row,andbecausetheywouldnotbeparted,thestreetwaschokedupwithcarts。
  FAULKNER。
  Mynoblelord,PaniarAlliesthroatwasopen。
  MORE。
  Sirrah,holdyourpeace。
  FAULKNER。
  I’llprovethestreetwasnotchoked,butisaswellaseveritwassinceitwasastreet。
  SHRIEVE。
  Thisfellowwasaprincipalbroacherofthebroil。
  FAULKNER。
  ’Sblood,Ibroachednone;itwasbroachedandhalfrunout,beforeI
  hadalickatit。
  SHRIEVE。
  Andwouldbebroughtbeforenojusticebutyourhonor。
  FAULKNER。
  Iamhailed,mynoblelord。
  MORE。
  Noeartochooseforeverytrivialnoisebutmine,andinsofullatime?Away!
  Youwrongme,MasterShrieve:disposeofhimAtyourownpleasure;sendtheknavetoNewgate。
  FAULKNER。
  ToNewgate!’sblood,SirThomasMore,Iappeal,IappealfromNewgatetoanyofthetwoworshipfulCounters。
  MORE。
  Fellow,whosemanareyou,thatarethuslusty?
  FAULKNER。
  Myname’sJackFaulkner;Iserve,nextunderGodandmyprince,MasterMorris,secretarytomyLordofWinchester。
  MORE。
  AfellowofyourhairisveryfitTobeasecretary’sfollower!
  FAULKNER。
  Ihopeso,mylord。ThefraywasbetweentheBishops’menofElyandWinchester;andIcouldnotinhonorbutpartthem。Ithoughtitstoodnotwithmyreputationanddegreetocometomyquestionsandanswersbeforeacityjustice:IknewIshouldtothepot。
  MORE。
  Thouhastbeenthere,itseems,toolatealready。
  FAULKNER。
  Iknowyourhonoriswiseandsoforth;andIdesiretobeonlycathecizedorexaminedbyyou,mynobleLordChancellor。
  MORE。
  Sirrah,sirrah,youareabusydangerousruffian。
  FAULKNER。
  Ruffian!
  MORE。
  Howlonghaveyouwornthishair?
  FAULKNER。
  IhavewornthishaireversinceIwasborn。
  MORE。
  Youknowthat’snotmyquestion,buthowlongHaththisshagfleecehungdanglingontheyhead?
  FAULKNER。
  Howlong,mylord?why,sometimesthuslong,sometimeslower,astheFatesandhumorsplease。
  MORE。
  Soquick,sir,withme,ha?Isee,goodfellow,Thoulovestplaindealing。Sirrah,tellmenow,Whenwereyoulastatbarbers?howlongtimeHaveyouuponyourheadwornthisshaghair?
  FAULKNER。
  Mylord,JackFaulknertellsnoAesopsfables:troth,Iwasnotatbarbersthisthreeyears;Ihavenotbeencutnotwillnotbecut,uponafoolishvow,which,astheDestiniesshalldirect,Iamsworntokeep。
  MORE。
  Whencomesthatvowout?
  FAULKNER。
  Why,whenthehumorsarepurged,notthisthreeyears。
  MORE。
  VowsarerecordedinthecourtofHeaven,Fortheyareholyacts。Youngman,IchargetheeAnddoadvisethee,startnotfromthatvow:
  And,forIwillbesurethoushaltnotshrieve,Besides,becauseitisanodioussightToseeamanthushairy,thoushaltlieInNewgatetillthyvowandthythreeyearsBefullexpired。——Awaywithhim!
  FAULKNER。
  Mylord——
  MORE。
  Cutoffthisfleece,andlietherebutamonth。
  FAULKNER。
  I’llnotloseahairtobeLordChancellorofEurope。
  MORE。
  ToNewgate,then。Sirrah,greatsinsarebredInallthatbodywherethere’safoulhead。
  Awaywithhim。
  [ExeuntallexceptRandall。]
  [EnterSurrey,Erasmus,andAttendants。]
  SURREY。
  Now,greatErasmus,youapproachthepresenceOfamostworthylearnedgentleman:
  ThislittleisleholdsnotatruerfriendUntothearts;nordothhisgreatnessaddAfeignedflourishtohisworthyparts;
  He’sgreatinstudy;that’sthestatist’sgrace,Thatgainsmorereverencethantheoutwardplace。
  ERASMUS。
  Report,mylord,hathcrossedthenarrowseas,AndtotheseveralpartsofChristendom,HathbornethefameofyourLordChancellor:
  Ilongtoseehim,whomwithlovingthoughtsIinmystudyofthavevisited。
  IsthatSirThomasMore?
  SURREY。
  Itis,Erasmus:
  Nowshallyouviewthehonorablestscholar,Themostreligiouspolitician,Theworthiestcounsellorthattendsourstate。
  ThatstudyisthegeneralwatchofEngland;
  Inittheprince’ssafety,andthepeaceThatshinesuponourcommonwealth,areforgedByloyalindustry。
  ERASMUS。
  IdoubthimnotTobeasnearthelifeofexcellenceAsyouproclaimhim,whenhismeanestservantsAreofsomeweight:yousaw,mylord,hisporterGiveentertainmenttousatthegateInLatingoodphrase;what’sthemaster,then,Whensuchgoodpartsshineinhismeanestmen?
  SURREY。
  HisLordshiphathsomeweightybusiness;
  For,see,yethetakesnonoticeofus。
  ERASMUS。
  IthinktwerebestIdidmydutytohimInashortLatinspeech。——
  Quiinceliberimapatrianatusestettgloriosa,plushabetnegotiiutinlucemveniatquamqui——
  RANDALL。
  Iprithee,goodErasmus,becovered。IhaveforswornspeakingofLatin,else,asIamtruecounsellor,I’dtickleyouwithaspeech。
  Nay,sit,Erasmus;——sit,goodmyLordofSurrey。I’llmakemyladycometoyouanon,ifshewill,andgiveyouentertainment。
  ERASMUS。
  IsthisSirThomasMore?
  SURREY。
  OhgoodErasmus,youmustconceivehisvain:
  He’severfurnishedwiththeseconceits。
  RANDALL。
  Yes,faith,mylearnedpoetdothnotlieforthatmatter:IamneithermorenorlessthanmerrySirThomasalways。Wiltsupwithme?byGod,Iloveaparlouswisefellowthatsmellsofapoliticianbetterthanalongprogress。
  [EnterSirThomasMore。]
  SURREY。
  Wearedeluded;thisisnothislordship。
  RANDALL。
  Iprayyou,Erasmus,howlongwilltheHollandcheeseinyourcountrykeepwithoutmaggots?
  MORE。
  Fool,paintedbarbarism,retirethyselfIntothyfirstcreation!
  [ExitRandall。]
  Thusyousee,Mylovinglearnedfriends,howfarrespectWaitsoftenontheceremonioustrainOfbaseilliteratewealth,whilstmenofschools,Shroudedinpoverty,arecountedfools。
  Pardon,thoureverentGerman,IhavemixedSoslightajesttothefairentertainmentOfthymostworthyself;forknow,Erasmus,Mirthwrinklesupmyface,andIstillcrave,WhenthatforsakesmeImayhugmygrave。
  ERASMUS。
  Yourhonor’smerryhumorisbestphysicUntoyourablebody;forwelearnWheremelancholychokesthepassagesOfbloodandbreath,theerectedspiritstillLengthensourdayswithsportfulexercise:
  Studyshouldbethesaddesttimeoflife。
  Therestasportexemptfromthoughtofstrife。
  MORE。
  Erasmuspreachethgospelagainstphysic,Mynoblepoet。
  SURREY。
  Oh,myLord,youtaxmeInthatwordpoetofmuchidleness:
  Itisastudythatmakespoorourfate;
  Poetswereeverthoughtunfitforstate。
  MORE。
  O,givenotupfairpoesy,sweetlord,Tosuchcontempt!ThatImayspeakmyheart,Itisthesweetestheraldryofart,Thatsetsadifference’tweenthetoughsharphollyAndtenderbaytree。
  SURREY。
  Yet,mylord,ItisbecometheverylogicnumberToallmechanicsciences。
  MORE。
  Why,I’llshowthereason:
  Thisisnoageforpoets;theyshouldsingTotheloudcanonheroicafacta;
  Quifaciuntregesheroicacarminalaudant:
  And,asgreatsubjectsoftheirpendecay,Evensounphysickedtheydomeltaway。
  [EnterMasterMorris。]
  Come,willyourlordshipin?——MydearErasmus——
  I’llhearyou,MasterMorris,presently。——
  Mylord,Imakeyoumasterofmyhouse:
  We’llbanquetherewithfreshandstaiddelights,TheMusesmusichereshallcheeroursprites;
  Thecatesmustbebutmeanwherescholarssit,Forthey’remadeallwithcoursesofneatwit。
  [ExeuntSurrey,Erasmus,andAttendants。]
  Hownow,MasterMorris?
  MORRIS。
  Iamasuitortoyourlordshipinbehalfofaservantofmine。
  MORE。
  Thefellowwithlonghair?goodMasterMorris,Cometomethreeyearshence,andthenI’llhearyou。
  MORRIS。
  Iunderstandyourhonor:butthefoolishknavehassubmittedhimselftothemercyofabarber,andiswithout,readytomakeanewvowbeforeyourlordship,hereaftertoleavecavil。
  MORE。
  Nay,then,let’stalkwithhim;pray,callhimin。
  [EnterFaulknerandOfficers。]
  FAULKNER。
  Blessyourhonor!anewman,mylordMORE。
  Why,sure,thisisnothe。
  FAULKNER。
  Andyourlordshipwill,thebarbershallgiveyouasampleofmyhead:Iamheinfaith,mylord;Iamipse。
  MORE。
  Why,nowthyfaceislikeanhonestman’s:
  Thouhastplayedwellatthisnewcut,andwon。
  FAULKNER。
  No,mylord;lostallthateverGodsentme。
  MORE。
  Godsenttheeintotheworldasthouartnow,Withashorthair。HowquicklyarethreeyearsRunoutofNewgate!
  FAULKNER。
  Ithinkso,mylord;fortherewasbutahair’slengthbetweenmygoingthitherandsolongtime。
  MORE。
  BecauseIseesomegraceinthee,gofree。——
  Dischargehim,fellows。——Farewell,MasterMorris。——
  Thyheadisforthyshouldersnowmorefit;
  Thouhastlesshairuponit,butmorewit。
  [Exit。]
  MORRIS。
  DidnotItelltheealwaysoftheselocks?
  FAULKNER。
  Andthelockswereonagain,allthegoldsmithsinCheapsideshouldnotpickthemopen。’Sheart,ifmyhairstandnotonendwhenIlookformyfaceinaglass,Iamapolecat。Here’salousyjest!but,ifInotchnotthatrogueTombarber,thatmakesmelookthuslikeaBrownist,hangme!I’llbeworsetothenitticallknavethantentoothdrawings。Here’sahead,withapox!
  MORRIS。
  Whatailsthou?artthoumadnow?
  FAULKNER。
  Madnow!nails,iflossofhaircannotmadaman,whatcan?Iamdeposed,mycrownistakenfromme。MorehadbeenbetterascouredMoreditchthananotchedmethus:doeshebeginsheepshearingwithJackFaulkner?
  MORRIS。
  Nay,andyoufeedthisvein,sir,fareyouwell。
  FAULKNER。
  Why,farewell,frost。I’llgohangmyselfoutforthePollHead。
  MakeaSaracenofJack?
  MORRIS。
  Thoudesperateknave!forthatIseethedevilWhollygetsholdofthee——
  FAULKNER。
  Thedevil’sadamnedrascal。
  MORRIS。
  Ichargethee,waitonmenomore;nomoreCallmethymaster。
  FAULKNER。
  Why,then,aword,MasterMorris。
  MORRIS。
  I’llhearnowords,sir;fareyouwell。
  FAULKNER。
  ’Sblood,farewell。
  MORRIS。
  Whydostthoufollowme?
  FAULKNER。
  BecauseI’manass。Doyousetyourshaversuponme,andthencastmeoff?mustIcondole?havetheFatesplayedthefools?amI
  theircut?nowthepoorsconceistaken,mustJackmarchwithbagandbaggage?
  [Weeps。]
  MORRIS。
  Youcoxcomb!
  FAULKNER。
  Nay,youha’poachedme;youha’givenmeahair;it’shere,hear。
  MORRIS。
  Away,youkindass!come,sir,dryyoureyes:
  Keepyouoldplace,andmendthesefooleries。
  FAULKNER。
  Icarenottobeturnedoff,and’twerealadder,soitbeinmyhumor,ortheFatesbeckontome。Nay,pray,sir,iftheDestiniesspinmeafinethread,Faulknerfliesanotherpitch;andtoavoidtheheadachehereafter,beforeI’llbeahairmonger,I’llbeawhoremonger。
  [Exeunt。]
  SCENEIII。Chelsea。Ante-chamberinMore’sHouse。
  [EnteraMessengertoMore。]
  MESSENGER。
  Myhonorablelord,theMayorofLondon,Accompaniedwithhisladyandhertrain,Arecominghither,andarehardathand,Tofeastwithyou:aservant’scomebefore,Totellyourlordshipoftherenearapproach。
  MORE。
  Why,thisischeerfulnews:friendsgoandcome:
  ReverendErasmus,whodeliciouswordsExpresstheverysoulandlifeofwit,Newlytooksadleaveofme,andwithtearsTroubledthesilverchanneloftheThames,Which,gladofsuchaburden,proudlyswelledAndonherbosomborehimtowardthesea:
  He’sgonetoRotterdam;peacegowithhim!
  Heleftmeheavywhenhewentfromhence;
  Butthisrecomfortsme;thekindLordMayor,Hisbrethrenaldermen,withtheirfairwives,Willfeastthisnightwithus:why,soitshouldbe;
  More’smerryheartlivesbygoodcompany。——
  Goodgentlemen,becareful;givegreatchargeOurdietbemadedaintyforthetaste;
  For,ofallpeoplethattheearthaffords,TheLondonersfarerichestattheirboards。
  [Exeunt。]
  ACTIV。
  SCENEI。Chelsea。ARoominMore’sHouse。
  [EnterSirThomasMore,MasterRoper,andServingmensettingstools。]
  MORE。
  Come,mygoodfellows,stir,bediligent;
  Slothisanidlefellow,leavehimnow;
  Thetimerequiresyourexpeditiousservice。
  Placemeherestools,tosettheladieson。——
  SonRoper,youhavegivenorderforthebanquet?
  ROPER。
  Ihave,mylord,andeverythingisready。
  [EnterhisLady。]
  MORE。
  Oh,welcome,wife!giveyoudirectionHowwomenshouldbeplaced;youknowitbest。
  FormyLordMayor,hisbrethren,andtherest,Letmealone;menbestcanordermen。
  LADY。
  Iwarrantye,mylord,allshallbewell。
  There’sonewithoutthatstaystospeakwithye,Andbademetellyethatheisaplayer。
  MORE。
  Aplayer,wife!——Oneofyebidhimcomein。
  [Exitone。]
  Nay,stirthere,fellows;fie,yearetooslow!
  Seethatyourlightsbeinareadiness:
  Thebanquetshallbehere。——Godsme,madame,LeavemyLadyMayoress!bothofusfromtheboard!
  AndmysonRopertoo!whatmayourgueststhink?
  LADY。
  Mylord,theyarerisen,andsittingbythefire。
  MORE。
  Why,yetgoyouandkeepthemcompany;
  Itisnotmeetweshouldbeabsentboth。
  [ExitLady。]
  [EnterPlayer。]
  Welcome,goodfriend;whatisyouwillwithme?
  PLAYER。
  Mylord,myfellowsandmyselfArecometotenderyeourwillingservice,Sopleaseyoutocommandus。
  MORE。
  What,foraplay,youmean?
  Whomdoyeserve?
  PLAYER。
  MyLordCardinal’sgrace。
  MORE。
  MyLordCardinal’splayers!now,trustme,welcome;
  Youhappenhitherinaluckytime,Topleasureme,andbenefityourselves。
  TheMayorofLondonandsomealdermen,Hisladyandtheirwives,aremykindguestsThisnightatsupper:now,tohaveaplayBeforethebanquet,willbeexcellent。——
  Howthinkyou,sonRoper?
  ROPER。
  ’Twilldowell,mylord,Andberightpleasingpastimetoyourguests。
  MORE。
  Iprithee,tellme,whatplayshaveye?
  PLAYER。
  Diverse,mylord:TheCradleofSecurity,Hisnailo’thehead,ImpatientPoverty,TheplayofFourPeas,DivesandLazarus,LustyJuventus,andTheMarriageofWitandWisdom。
  MORE。
  TheMarriageofWitandWisdom!that,mylads;
  I’llnonebutthat;thethemeisverygood,Andmaymaintainaliberalargument:
  Tomarrywittowisdom,askssomecunning;
  Manyhavewit,thatmaycomeshortofwisdom。
  We’llseehowMasterpoetplayshispart,Andwhetherwitorwisdomgracehisart。——
  Go,makehimdrink,andallhisfellowstoo。——
  Howmanyareye?
  PLAYER。
  Fourmenandaboy,sir。
  MORE。
  Butoneboy?thenIsee,There’sbutfewwomenintheplay。
  PLAYER。
  Three,mylord;DameScience,LadyVanity,AndWisdomsheherself。
  MORE。
  Andoneboyplaythemall?byourLady,he’sladen。
  Well,mygoodfellow,getyestraighttogether,Andmakeyereadywithwhathasteyemay。——
  Proudtheirsuppergainsttheplaybedone,Elseshallwestayourguestshereoverlong。——
  Makehaste,Iprayye。
  PLAYER。
  Wewill,mylord。
  [ExitServantandPlayer。]
  MORE。
  Wherearethewaits?go,bigthemplay,Tospendthetimeawhile。
  [EnterLady。]
  Hownow,madame?
  LADY。
  Mylord,th’arecominghither。
  MORE。
  Th’arewelcome。Wife,I’lltellyeonething;
  Onesportissomewhatmended;weshallhaveAplaytonight,TheMarriageofWitandWisdom,AndactedbymygoodLordCardinal’splayers;
  Howlikeyethat,wife?
  LADY。
  Mylord,Ilikeitwell。
  See,theyarecoming。
  [Thewaitsplays;enterLordMayor,somanyAldermenasmay,theLadyMayoressinscarlet,withotherLadiesandSirThomasMore’sDaughters;Servantscarryinglightedtorchesbythem。]
  MORE。
  Onceagain,welcome,welcome,mygoodLordMayor,Andbrethrenall,foronceIwasyourbrother,AndsoIamstillinheart:itisnotstateThatcanourlovefromLondonseparate。
  True,upstartfools,bysuddenfortunetried,Regardtheirformermateswithnaughtbutpride。
  Buttheythatcastaneyestillwhencetheycame,Knowhowtheyrose,andhowtousethesame。
  LORDMAYOR。
  Mylord,yousetaglossonLondon’sfame,Andmakeithappyeverbyyourname。
  Needsmustwesay,whenwerememberMore,’TwashethatdroverebellionfromourdoorWithgravediscretionsmildandgentlebreath,Oh,howourcityisbyyourenowned,Andwithyourvirtuesourendeavorscrowned!
  MORE。
  Nomore,mygoodLordMayor:butthankstoall,ThatonsoshortasummonsyouwouldcomeTovisithimthatholdsyourkindnessdear。——
  Madame,youarenotmerrywithmyLadyMayoressAndthesefairladies;prayye,seatthemall:——
  Andhere,mylord,letmeappointyourplace;——
  Theresttoseatthemselves:——nay,I’llwearyye;
  Youwillnotlonginhastetovisitme。
  LADY。
  Goodmadame,sit;insooth,youshallsithere。
  LADYMAYORESS。
  Goodmadame,pardonme;itmaynotbe。
  LADY。
  Introth,I’llhaveitso:I’llsitherebyye。——
  Goodladies,sit。——Morestoolshere,ho!
  LADYMAYORESS。
  Itisyourfavour,madame,makesmethusPresumeabovemymerit。
  LADY。
  Whenwecometoyou,Thenshallyouruleusasweruleyouhere。
  NowmustItellye,madame,wehaveaplay,Towelcomeyewithal;howgoodsoere,ThatknownotI;mylordwillhaveitso。
  MORE。
  Wife,hopethebest;Iamsurethey’lldotheirbest:
  Theythatwouldbetter,comesnotattheirfeast。
  MygoodLordCardinal’splayers,Ithankthemforit,Playusaplay,tolengthenoutyourwelcome:
  TheysayitisTheMarriageofWitandWisdom,Athemeofsomeimport,howereitprove;
  But,ifartfail,we’llinchitoutwithlove。——
  [EnteraServant。]
  What,aretheyready?
  SERVANT。
  Mylord,oneoftheplayerscravestospeakwithyou。
  MORE。
  Withme!whereishe?
  [EnterInclination,theVice,ready。]
  INCLINATION。
  Here,mylord。
  MORE。
  Hownow!what’sthematter?
  INCLINATION。
  Wewoulddesireyourhonorbuttostayalittle;oneofmyfellowsisbutruntoOaglesforalongbeardforyoungWit,andhe’llbeherepresently。
  MORE。
  AlongbeardforyoungWit!why,man,hemaybewithoutabeardtillhecometomarriage,forwitgoesnotallbythehair。WhencomesWitin?
  INCLINATION。
  Inthesecondscene,nexttothePrologue,mylord。
  MORE。
  Why,playontillthatscenecome,andbythattimeWit’sbeardwillbegrown,orelsethefellowreturnedwithit。Andwhatpartplayestthou?
  INCLINATION。
  InclinationtheVice,mylord。
  MORE。
  Gramercies,nowImaytaketheviceifIlist:andwhereforehastthouthatbridleinthyhand?
  INCLINATION。
  Imustbebridledanon,mylord。
  MORE。
  Andthoubeestnotsaddledtoo,itmakesnomatter,forthenWit’sinclinationmaygallopsofast,thathewilloutstripWisdom,andfalltofolly。
  INCLINATION。
  Indeed,sohedoestoLadyVanity;butwehavenofollyinourplay。
  MORE。
  Thenthere’snowitin’t,I’llbesworn:follywaitsonwit,astheshadowonthebody,andwherewitisripesttherefollystillisreadiest。Butbegin,Iprithee:we’llratherallowabeardlessWitthanWitallbeardtohavenobrain。
  INCLINATION。
  Nay,hehashisapparelontoo,mylord,andthereforeheisthereadiertoenter。
  MORE。
  Then,goodInclination,beginataventer。——
  [ExitInclination。]
  MyLordMayor,Witlacksabeard,orelsetheywouldbegin:
  I’dlendhimmine,butthatitistoothin。
  Silence,theycome。
  [Thetrumpetsounds;enterthePrologue。]
  PROLOGUE。
  Now,forasmuchasintheselatterdays,Throughoutthewholeworldineveryland,Vicedothincrease,andvirtuedecays,Iniquityhavingtheupperhand;
  Wethereforeintend,goodgentleaudience,Aprettyshortinterludetoplayatthispresent,Desiringyourleaveandquietsilence,Toshowthesame,asismeetandexpedient,ItiscalledTheMarriageofWitandWisdom,Amatterrightpithyandpleasingtohear,Whereofinbriefwewillshowthewholesum;
  ButImustbegone,forWitdothappear。
  [Exit。EnterWitruffling,andInclinationtheVice。]
  WIT。
  Inanarborgreen,asleepwhereasIlay,Thebirdssangsweetlyinthemidstoftheday,Idreamedfastofmirthandplay,——
  Inyouthispleasure,inyouthispleasure,MethoughtIwalkedstilltoandfro,AndfromhercompanyIcouldnotgo;
  ButwhenIwaked,itwasnotso,——
  Inyouthispleasure,inyouthispleasure。
  Thereforemyheartissurelyplight,Ofheralonetohaveasight,Whichismyjoyandheart’sdelight,——
  Inyouthispleasure,inyouthispleasure。
  MORE。
  Markye,mylord,thisisWitwithoutabeard:whatwillhebebythattimehecomestothecommodityofabeard?
  INCLINATION。
  Oh,sir,thegroundisthebetteronwhichshedothgo;
  Forshewillmakebettercheerwithalittleshecanget,Thanmanyaonecanwithagreatbanquetofmeat。
  WIT。
  AndishernameWisdom?
  INCLINATION。
  I,sir,awifemostfitForyou,mygoodmaster,mydaintysweetWit。
  WIT。
  Tobeinhercompanymyheartitisset:
  ThereforeIpritheetoletusbegone;
  ForuntoWisdomWithathinclination。
  INCLINATION。
  Oh,sir,shewillcomeherselfevenanon;
  ForItoldherbeforewherewewouldstand。
  Andthenshesaidshewouldbeckuswithherhand。——
  Backwiththeseboysandsaucygreatknaves!
  [Flourishingadagger。]
  What,standyeheresobiginyourbraves?
  Mydaggeraboutyourcoxcombsshallwalk,IfImaybutsomuchashearyechatortalk。
  WIT。
  Butwillshetakepainstocomeforushither?
  INCLINATION。
  Iwarrantye;thereforeyoumustbefamiliarwithher;
  Whenshecommethinplace,YoumustherembraceSomewhathandsomely,Leastshethinkitdanger,Becauseyouareastranger,Tocomeinyourcompany。
  WIT。
  Iwarrantthee,Inclination,Iwillbebusy:
  Oh,howWitlongstobeinWisdom’scompany!
  [EnterLadyVanitysinging,andbeckoningwithherhand。]
  VANITY。
  Comehither,comehither,comehither,come:
  SuchcheerasIhave,thoushalthavesome。
  MORE。
  ThisisLadyVanity,I’llholdmylife:——
  Beware,goodWit,youtakenothertowife。
  INCLINATION。
  What,unknownhonesty?awordinyourear。
  [Sheofferstodepart。]
  Youshallnotbegoneasyet,Iswear:
  Here’snonebutfriends,youneednottofray;
  Thisyounggentlemanlovesye,thereforeyoumuststay。
  WIT。
  Itrustinmeshewillthinknodanger,ForIlovewellthecompanyoffairwomen;
  AndthoughtoyouIamastranger,YetWitmaypleasureyounowandthen。
  VANITY。
  Who,you?nay,youaresuchaholyman,Thattotouchonyoudarenotbebold;
  Ithinkyouwouldnotkissayoungwoman,Ifonewouldgiveyetwentypoundingold。
  WIT。
  Yes,ingoodsadness,lady,thatIwould:
  Icouldfindinmyhearttokissyouinyoursmock。
  VANITY。
  Mybackisbroadenoughtobearthatmock;
  ForithathbeentoldmemanyatimeThatyouwouldbeseeninnosuchcompanyasmine。
  WIT。
  NotWitinthecompanyofLadyWisdom?
  OhJove,forwhatdoIhithercome?
  INCLINATION。
  Sir,shedidthisnothingelsebuttoproveWhetheralittlethingwouldyoumoveTobeangryandfret:
  What,andifonesaidso?
  LetsuchtriflingmattersgoAndwithakindkisscomeoutofherdebt。——
  IsLugginscomeyetwiththebeard?
  [EnteranotherPlayer。]
  PLAYER。
  No,faith,heisnotcome:alas,whatshallwedo?
  INCLINATION。
  Forsooth,wecangonofurthertillourfellowLugginscome;forheplaysGoodCouncil,andnowheshouldenter,toadmonishWitthatthisisLadyVanity,andnotLadyWisdom。
  MORE。
  Nay,anditbenomorebutso,yeshallnottarryatastandforthat;
  we’llnothaveourplaymarredforlackofalittlegoodcouncil:tillyourfellowcome,I’llgivehimthebestcouncilthatIcan。——Pardonme,myLordMayor;Ilovetobemerry。——
  Oh……Wit,thouartnowonthebowhand,Andblindlyinthineownopiniondoststand。
  Itellthee,thisnaughtylewdInclinationDoesleadtheeamissinaverystrangefashion:
  ThisisnotWisdom,butLadyVanity;
  ThereforelisttoGoodCouncil,andberuledbyme。
  INCLINATION。
  Introth,mylord,itisasrighttoLugginsespartascanbe。——Speak,Wit。
  MORE。
  Nay,wewillnothaveouraudiencedisappointed,ifIcanhelpit。
  WIT。
  ArtthouGoodCouncil,andwilltellmeso?
  WouldstthouhaveWitfromLadyWisdomtogo?
  Thouartsomedeceiver,Itelltheeverily,InsayingthatthisisLadyVanity。
  MORE。
  Wit,judgenotthingsbytheoutwardshow;
  Theeyeoftmistakes,rightwellyoudoknow:
  GoodCouncilassurestheeuponhishonesty,ThatthisisnotWisdom,butLadyVanity。
  [EnterLugginswiththebeard。]
  INCLINATION。
  Oh,mylord,heiscome;nowweshallgoforward。
  MORE。
  Artthoucome?well,fellow,Ihavehopedtosavethinehonestyalittle。Now,ifthoucanstgiveWitanybettercouncilthanIhavedone,sparenot:thereIleavehimtotheymercy。
  Butbythistime,Iamsure,ourbanquet’sready:
  Mylordandladies,wewilltastethatfirst,Andthentheyshallbegintheplayagain,Whichthroughthefellow’sabsence,andbyme,Insteadofhelping,hathbeenhindered。——
  Prepareagainstwecome。——Lightsthere,Isay!——
  Thusfoolsofttimesdohelptomartheplay。
  [Exeuntallbutplayers。]
  WIT。
  Fie,fellowLuggins,youserveushandsomely;doyenot,thinkye?
  LUGGINS。
  Why,Oaglewasnotwithin,andhiswifewouldnotletmehavethebeard;and,bymytroth,IransofastthatIsweatagain。
  INCLINATION。
  Doyehear,fellows?wouldnotmylordmakearareplayer?oh,hewouldupholdacompanybeyondallhope,betterthanMasonamongtheking’splayers!Didyemarkhowextempricallyhefelltothematter,andspakeLugginsespartalmostasitisintheverybooksetdown?
  WIT。
  Peace;doyeknowwhatyesay?mylordaplayer!letusnotmeddlewithanysuchmatters:yetImaybealittleproudthatmylordhathansweredmeinmypart。Butcome,letusgo,andbereadytobegintheplayagain。
  LUGGINS。
  I,that’sthebest,fornowwelacknothing。
  [EnteraServingman。]
  MAN。
  Wherebetheseplayers?
  ALL。
  Here,sir。
  MAN。
  Mylordissentfortothecourt,Andalltheguestsdoaftersupperpart;
  And,forhewillnottroubleyouagain,Bymeforyourrewardasends8angels,Withmanythanks。Butsupbeforeyougo:
  Itishiswillyoushouldbefairlyentreated:
  Follow,Iprayye。
  WIT。
  This,Luggins,isyournegligence;
  WantingWit’sbeardbroughtthingsintodislike;
  Forotherwisetheplayhadbeenallseen,Wherenowsomecuriouscitizendisgracedit,Anddiscommendingit,allisdismissed。
  VICE。
  ForeGod,asaystrue。Buthearye,sirs:8angels,ha!mylordwouldnevergive8angelsmoreorlessfor12d;otheritshouldbe3l,5l,ortenli。;there’s20swanting,sure。
  WIT。
  Twentytoone,tisso。Ihaveatrick:mylordcomes;standaside。
  [EnterMore,withAttendantswithPurseandMace。]
  MORE。
  Inhastetocounsel!what’sthebusinessnow,Thatallsolatehishighnesssendsforme?——
  Whatseekstthou,fellow?
  WIT。
  Nay,nothing:yourlordshipsent8angelsbyyourman,andIhavelosttwoofthemintherishes。
  MORE。
  Wit,looktothat:——8angels!Ididsendthemten。——Whogaveitthem?
  MAN。
  I,mylord;Ihadnomoreaboutme;
  Butbyandbytheyshallrescuetherest。
  MORE。
  Well,Wit,twaswiselydone;thouplayestWitwellindeed,Nottobethusdeceivedofthyright。——
  AmIaman,byofficetrulyordainedEquallytodecidetruerighthisown,AndshallIhavedeceiversinmyhouse?
  Thenwhatavailsmybounty,whensuchservantsDeceivethepoorofwhattheMastergives?
  Goon,andpullhiscoatoverhisears:
  Therearetoomanysuch。——Givethemtheirright。——
  Wit,letthyfellowsthankthee:twaswelldone;
  ThounowdeservesttomatchwithLadyWisdom。
  [ExitMorewithAttendants。]
  VICE。
  Godamercy,Wit!——Sir,youhadamasterSirThomasMoremore;
  butnowweshallhavemore。
  LUGGINS。
  Godblesshim!Iwouldthereweremoreofhismind!alovesourquality;andyethe’salearnedman,andknowswhattheworldis。
  CLOWN。
  Well,akindman,andmorelovingthanmanyother:butIthinkweha’metwiththefirst……
  LUGGINS。
  Firstservedhismanthathadourangels;andhemaychancedinewithDukeHumphreytomorrow,beingturnedawaytoday。Come,let’sgo。
  CLOWN。
  Andmanysuchrewardswouldmakeusallride,andhorseuswiththebestnagsinSmithfield。
  [Exeunt。]
  SCENEII。Whitehall。TheCouncilchamber。
  [EntertheEarlsofShrewsbury,Surrey,BishopofRochester,andotherLords;severally,doingcourtesytoeachother;ClerkoftheCouncilwaitingbareheaded。]
  SURREY。
  GoodmorrowtomyLordofShrewsbury。
  SHREWSBURY。
  ThelikeuntothehonouredEarlofSurrey。
  YondcomesmyLordofRochester。
  ROCHESTER。
  Goodmorrow,mygoodlords。
  SURREY。
  ClerkoftheCouncil,whattimeis’tofday?
  CLERK。
  Pasteightofclock,mylord。
  SHREWSBURY。
  IwonderthatmygoodLordChancellorDothstaysolong,consideringthere’smattersOfhighimportancetobescannedupon。
  SURREY。
  ClerkoftheCouncil,certifyhislordshipThelordsexpecthimhere。
  ROCHESTER。
  Itshallnotneed;
  Yondcomeshislordship。
  [EnterSirThomasMore,withPurseandMacebornebeforehim。]
  MORE。
  Goodmorrowtothisfairassembly。
  Come,mygoodlords,let’ssit。Ohserioussquare!
  [Theysit。]
  UponthislittleboardisdailyscannedThehealthandpreservationoftheland;
  Wethephysiciansthateffectthisgood,Nowbychoicediet,anonbylettingblood;
  OurtoilandcarefulwatchingbringsthekingInleaguewithslumbers,towhichpeacedothsing。——
  Avoidtheroomthere!——
  Whatbusiness,lords,today?