Julia。Andwhatawardrobe!I’llhavechangeofsuitsForeverydayintheyear!andsetsfordays!
Mymorningdress,mynoondress,dinnerdress,Andeveningdress!ThenwillIshowyoulaceAfootdeep,canIpurchase;ifnot,I’llspeciallybespeakit。Diamondstoo!
Notbuckles,rings,andearringsonly——butWholenecklacesandstomachersofgems!
I’llshine!besureIwill。
Clif。[Aside。]Thenshineaway;
Whocovetstheemaywearthee;——I’mnothe!
Julia。Andthenmytitle!SoonasIputonThering,I’mLadyClifford。SoItakePrecedenceofplainmistress,wereshee’enTherichestheiressintheland!AttownOrcountryball,you’llseemetakethelead,WhilewivesthatcarryontheirbacksthewealthTodoweraprincess,shallgiveplacetome;-
WillInotprofit,thinkyou,bymyright?
BesureIwill!marriageshallprovetomeAnever-endingpageant。EverydayShallshowhowIamspoused!IwillbeknownForLadyCliffordallthecitythrough,Andfiftymilesthecountryroundabout。
WifeofSirThomasClifford,baronet-
Notperishableknight——who,whenhemakesAladyofme,doubtlessmustexpectToseemeplaythepartofone。
Clif。[Comingforward。]Mosttrue;
Butnotthepartwhichyoudesigntoplay。
Julia。Alistener,sir!
Clif。Bychance,andnotintent,Yourspeechwasforceduponmineear,thatne’erMorethanklessdutytomyheartdischarged!
Wouldforthatheartitne’erhadknownthesenseWhichtellsit’tisabankrupt,there,wheremostItcovetedtoberich,andthoughtitwasso!
OJulia,isityou?CouldIhavesetAcoronetuponthatstatelybrow,WherepartialnaturehathalreadyboundAbrightercirclet——radiantbeauty’sown-
Ihadbeenproudtoseetheeproudofit,Soforthedonorthouhadstta’enthegift,Notforthegiftta’enhim。CouldIhavepouredThewealthofrichestCroesusinthylap,Ihadbeenblesttoseetheescatterit,SoIwasstillthyrichesparamount!
Julia。Knowyoume,sir!
Clif。Ido。OnMondayweekWeweretowed——andare——soyou’recontent;
Thedaythatweds,wivesyoutobewidowed。TakeTheprivilegeofmywife;beLadyClifford!
Outshinethetitleinthewearingon’t!
Mycoffers,lands,allareatthycommand;
Wearall!but,formyself,shewearsnotme,Althoughthecovetedofeveryeye,Whowouldnotwearmeformyselfalone。
Julia。Anddoyoucarryitsoproudly,sir?
Clif。Proudly,butstillmoresorrowfully,lady!
I’llleadtheetothechurchonMondayweek。
Tillthen,farewellandthen,farewellforever!
OJulia,Ihaveventuredforthylove,Astheboldmerchant,who,foronlyhopeOfsomerichgain,allformergainswillrisk。
BeforeIaskedaportionofthyheart,Iperilledallmyown;andnow,all’slost!
[CLIFFORDandMODUSgoout。]
Julia。Helen!
Helen。Whatailsyou,sweet?
Julia。Icannotbreathe——quick,loosemygirdle,oh!
[Faints。]
[MASTERWALTERandMASTERHEARTWELLcomeforward。]
Wal。GoodMasterHeartwell,helptotakeherin,WhilstImakeafterhim!andlooktoher!
Unluckychancethattookmeoutoftown!
[Theygooutseverally。]
SCENEIII。——TheStreet。
[EnterCLIFFORDandSTEPHEN,meeting。]
Ste。Letters,SirThomas。
Clif。Takethemhomeagain,Ishallnotreadthemnow。
Ste。Yourpardon,sir,Buthereisonedirectedstrangely。
Clif。How?
Ste。"ToMasterClifford,gentleman,nowstyledSirThomasClifford,baronet。"
Clif。Indeed!
Whencecomesthatletter?
Ste。Fromabroad。
Clif。Whichisit?
Ste。Sopleaseyou,this,SirThomas。
Clif。Giveitme。
Ste。Thatletterbringsnotnewstowishhimjoyupon。Ifhewasdisturbedbefore,whichIguessedbyhislookshewas,heisnotmoreateasenow。Hishandtohishead!Amostunwelcomeletter!
Ifitbringshimnewsofdisaster,fortunedoesnotgivehimhisdeserts;forneverwaitedservantuponakindermaster。
Clif。Stephen!
Ste。SirThomas!
Clif。FrommydoorremoveTheplatethatbearsmyname。
Ste。Theplate,SirThomas!
Clif。Theplate——collectmyservantsandinstructthemTomakeouteachtheirclaims,untotheendOftheirrespectiveterms,andgivetheminTomysteward。Himandthemapprise,goodfellow,ThatIkeephousenomore。Asyougohome,Callatmycoachmaker’sandbidhimstopThecarriageIbespoke。TheoneIhaveSendwithmyhorsestothemartwhereatSuchthingsaresoldbyauction。They’reforsale;
Packupmywardrobe,havemytrunksconveyedTotheinninthenextstreet;andwhenthat’sdone,Goroundmytradesmenandcollecttheirbills,Andbringthemtomeattheinn。
Ste。Theinn!
Clif。Yes;Igohomenomore。Why,what’sthematter?
Whathasfallenouttomakeyoureyesfillup?
You’llgetanotherplace。I’llcertifyYou’rehonestandindustrious,andallThataservantoughttobe。
Ste。Isee,SirThomas,Somegreatmisfortunehasbefallenyou?
Clif。No!
Ihavehealth;Ihavestrength;myreason,Stephen,andAheartthat’sclearintruth,withtrustinGod。
NogreatdisastercanbefallthemanWho’sstillpossessedofthese!Goodfellow,leaveme。
Whatyouwouldlearn,andhavearighttoknow,Iwouldnottellyounow。GoodStephen,hence!
Mischancehasfallenonme——butwhatofthat?
Mischancehasfallenonmanyabetterman。
Ipritheeleaveme。IgrowsadderwhileIseetheeyewithwhichyouviewmygrief。
’Sdeath,theywillout!Iwouldhavebeenaman,Hadyoubeenlessakindandgentleone。
Now,asyouloveme,leaveme。
Ste。NevermasterSowelldeservedtheloveofhimthatservedhim。
[STEPHENgoesout。]
Clif。Misfortunelikethcompany;itseldomVisitsitsfriendsalone。Ha!MasterWalter,Andruffledtoo。I’minnomoodforhim。
[EnterMASTERWALTER。]
Wal。So,Sir——SirThomasClifford!whatwithspeedAndcholer——Idogaspforwantofbreath。
Clif。Well,MasterWalter?
Wal。You’rearashyoungman,sir;
Strong-headedandwrong-headed,andIfear,sir,NotoverdelicateinthatfinesenseWhichmenofhonourpridethemselvesupon!
Clif。Well,MasterWalter?
Wal。Ayoungwoman’sheart,sir,Isnotastonetocarveaposyon!
Whichknowsnotwhatiswriton’t;whichyoumaybuy,Exchange,orsell,sir,keeporgiveaway,sir:
Itisaricher——yetapoorerthing;
Pricelesstohimthatownsandprizesit;
Worthless,whenowned,notprized;whichmakesthemanThatcovetsit,obtainsit,anddiscardsit-
Afool,ifnotavillain,sir。
Clif。Well,sir?
Wal。Youneverlovedmyward,sir!
Clif。ThebrightHeavensBearwitnessthatIdid!
Wal。ThebrightHeavens,sir,Bearnotfalsewitness。ThatyoulovedhernotIsclear——forhadyoulovedher,you’dhavepluckedYourheartfromoutyourbreast,erecastherfromyourheart!
OldasIam,Iknowwhatpassionis。
Itisthesummer’sheat,sir,whichinvainWelookforfrostin。Ice,likeyou,sir,knowsButlittleofsuchheat!Wearewronged,sir,wronged!
Youwearasword,andsodoI。
Clif。Well,sir!
Wal。Youknowtheuse,sir,ofasword?
Clif。Ido。
Towhipaknave,sir,oranhonestman!
Awisemanorafool——atoneforwrong,Ordoubletheamounton’t!MasterWalter,Touchingyourward,ifwrongisdone,IthinkOnmysideliesthegrievance。IwouldnotsaysoDidInotthinkso。Asforlove——look,sir,Thathand’sawidower’s,toitsfirstmateswornToclaspnosecondone。Asforamends,sir,You’refreetogetthemfromamaninwhomYou’vebeenforestalledbyfortune,forthespiteWhichshehasventedonhim,ifyoustillEsteemhimworthyouranger。PleaseyoureadThatletter。Now,sir,judgeiflifeisdearToonesomuchaloser。
Wal。What,allgone!
Thycousinlivingtheyreporteddead!
Clif。Titleandland,sir,untowhichaddlove!
Allgone,savelifeandhonour,which,ereI’lllose,I’lllettheothergo。
Wal。We’republichere,Andmaybeinterrupted。LetusseekSomespotofprivacy。Yourletter,sir。
[Givesitback。]
Thoughfortuneslightsyou,I’llnotslightyou;notYourtitleorthelackofitIheed。
Whetheruponthescoreofloveorhate,WithyouandyoualoneIsettle,sir。
We’vegonetoofar。’TwerefollynowtopartWithoutareckoning。
Clif。Justasyouplease。
Wal。You’vedoneAnobleladywrong。
Clif。Thatlady,sir,Hasdonemewrong。
Wal。Goto,thouartaboyFittobetrustedwithaplaything,notAwoman’sheart。Thouknowestnotwhatitis!
AndthatI’llprovetothee,soonaswefindConvenientplace。Comeon,sir!youshallgetAlessonthatshallserveyoufortherestOfyourlife。I’llmakeyouownher,sir,apieceOfNature’shandiwork,ascostly,freeFrombias,flaw,andfair,aseveryetHercunninghandturnedout。Comeon,sir!come!
[Theygoout。]
ACTIII。
SCENEI。——ADrawing-room。
[ENTERLORDTINSELandtheEARLOFROCHDALE。]
Tin。Refusealord!Asaucyladythis。
Iscarcecancreditit。
Roch。She’llchangehermind。
Myagent,MasterWalter,isherguardian。
Tin。HowcanyoukeepthatHunchbackinhisoffice?
Hemocksyou。
Roch。Heisuseful。Neverheedhim。
MyoffernowdoIpresentthroughhim。
Hehasthetitle-deedsofmyestates,She’lllistentotheirwooing。Imusthaveher。
NotthatIloveher,butthatallallowShe’sfairestofthefair。
Tin。Distinguishedwell!
’Tweremostunseemlyforalordtolove!-
Leavethattocommoners!’Tisvulgar——she’sBetrothed,youtellme,toSirThomasClifford?
Roch。Yes。
Tin。Thatacommonershouldthwartalord!
Yetnotacommoner。AbaronetIsfishandflesh。Ninepartsplebeian,andPatricianinthetenth。SirThomasClifford!
Aman,theysay,ofbrains!IabhorbrainsAsIdotools:they’rethingsmechanical。
SofarareweaboveourforefathersTheytotheirbrainsdidowetheirtitles,asDolawyers,doctors。Wetonothingowethem,Whichmakesusfarthenobler。
Roch。Isitso?
Tin。Believeme。Youshallprofitbymytraining;
Yougrowalordapace。IsawyoumeetAbevyofyourformerfriends,whofainHadshakenhandswithyou。Yougavethemfingers!
You’renowanotherman。Yourhouseischanged-
Yourtablechanged——yourretinue——yourhorse-
Whereonceyourodeahack,younowbackblood;-
Befitsit,then,youalsochangeyourfriends!
[EnterWILLIAMS。]
Will。Agentlemanwouldseeyourlordship。
Tin。Sir!
What’sthat?
Will。Agentlemanwouldseehislordship。
Tin。Howknowyou,sir,hislordshipisathome?
Isheathomebecausehegoesnotout?
He’snotathome,thoughthereyouseehim,sir;
Unlesshecertifythathe’sathome!
Bringupthenameofthegentleman,andthenYourlordwillknowifhe’sathomeornot。
[WILLIAMSgoesout。]
Yourmanwasportertosomemerchant’sdoor,WhonevertaughthimbetterbreedingThantospeakthevulgartruth!Well,sir?
[WILLIAMShavingre-entered。]
Will。Hisname,Sopleaseyourlordship,Markham。
Tin。DoyouknowThething?
Roch。Rightwell!I’faithaheartyfellow,Sontoaworthytradesman,whowoulddoGreatthingswithlittlemeans;soenteredhimIntheTemple。Agoodfellow,onmylife。
Noughtsmackingofhisstock!
Tin。You’vesaidenough!
Hislordship’snotathome。
[WILLIAMSgoesout。]
WedonotgoByhearts,butorders!Hadhefamily-
Blood——thoughitonlywereadrop——hisheartWouldpassforsomething;lackingsuchdesert,Wereittentimestheheartitis,’tisnought!
[EnterWILLIAMS。]
Will。OneMasterJoneshathaskedtoseeyoulordship。
Tin。AndwhatwasyourreplytoMasterJones?
Will。Iknewnotifhislordshipwasathome。
Tin。You’lldo。Who’sMasterJones?
Roch。Acurate’sson。
Tin。Acurate’s!Betterbeayeoman’sson!
Wasittherector’sson,hemightbeknown,Becausetherectorisarisingman,Andmaybecomeabishop。Hegoeslight,Thecurateeverhathaloadedback!
Hemaybecalledtheyeomanofthechurch,Thatsweatingdoeshiswork,anddrudgeson,Whilelivesthehopefulrectorathisease。
Howmadeyouhisacquaintance,pray?
Roch。WereadLatinandGreektogether。
Tin。Droppingthem-
As,nowthatyou’realord,ofcourseyou’vedone-
Drophim——You’llsayhislordship’snotathome。
Will。Sopleaseyourlordship,Iforgottosay,OneRichardCricketlikewiseisbelow。
Tin。Who?——RichardCricket!Youmustseehim,Rochdale!
Anoblelittlefellow!Agreatman,sir!
Notknowingwhom,youwouldbenobody!
Iwonfivethousandpoundsbyhim!
Roch。Whoishe?
Ineverheardofhim。
Tin。What!neverheardOfRichardCricket!——neverheardofhim!
Why,he’sthejockeyofNewmarket;youMaywinacupbyhim,orelseasweepstakes。
Ibadehimcalluponyou。Youmustseehim。
HislordshipisathometoRichardCricket。
Roch。Bidhimwaitintheante-room。
[WILLIAMSgoesout。]
Tin。Theante-room!
Thebestroominyourhouse!YoudonotknowTheuseofRichardCricket!Showhim,sir,Intothedrawing-room。YourlordshipneedsMustkeeparacingstud,andyou’lldowellTomakeafriendofRichardCricket。Well,sir:
What’sthat?
[EnterWILLIAMS。]
Will。Sopleaseyourlordship,apetition。
Tin。Hadstnotaservice’mongsttheHottentotsErethoucamesthither,friend?PresentthylordWithapetition!Atmechanics’doors,Attradesmen’s,shopkeepers’,andmerchants’only,Havesuchthingsleavetoknock!Makethylord’sgateAwickettoaworkhouse!Letusseeit-
Subscriptionstoabookofpoetry!
CorneliusTense,M。A。
WhichmeansheconstruesGreekandLatin,worksProblemsinmathematics,canchoplogic,Andisaconjurerinphilosophy,Bothnaturalandmoral。——Pshaw!amanWhomnobody,thatisanybody,knows!
Who,thinkyou,followshim?Why,anM。D。,AnF。R。S。,anF。AS。,andthenAD。D。,DoctorofDivinity,UsheringinanLL。D。,whichmeansDoctorofLaws——theirharmony,nodoubt,Thedifferenceoftheirtrades!There’snothinghereButlanguages,andsciences,andarts。
Notaniotaofnobility!
Wecannotgiveournames。Takebackthepaper,Andtellthebearerthere’snoanswerforhim:-
Thatisthelordlywayofsaying"No。"
But,talkingofsubscriptions,hereisoneTowhichyourlordshipmayaffixyourname。
Roch。Pray,who’stheobject?
Tin。Amostworthyman!
Amanofsingulardeserts;amanInservingwhomyourlordshipwillserveme,-
SignorCantata。
Roch。He’safriendofyours?
Tin。Oh,no,Iknowhimnot!I’venotthatpleasure。
ButLadyDangleknowshim;she’shisfriend,Hewillobligeuswithasetofconcerts,Sixconcertstotheset。——Theset,threeguineas。
Yourlordshipwillsubscribe?
Roch。Oh,byallmeans。
Tin。Howmanysetsoftickets?Twoatleast。
You’llliketotakeafriend?I’llsetyoudownSixguineastoSignorCantata’sconcerts,Andnow,myLord,we’lltohim;thenwe’llwalk。
Roch。Nay,Iwouldwaitthelady’sanswer。
Tin。Wait!takeanexcursiontothecountry;letHeranswerwaitforyou!
Roch。Indeed!
Tin。Indeed!
Befitsalordnoughtlikeindifference。
Sayanestateshouldfalltoyou,you’dtakeitAsitconcernedmoreastanderbyThanyou。Asyou’realord,besureyoueverOfthatmakelittleothermenmakemuchof;
Nordothethingtheydo,buttherightcontrary。
Wherethedistinctionelse’twixtthemandyou?
[Theygoout。]
SCENEII。——AnApartmentinMasterHeartwell’sHouse。
[MASTERWALTERdiscoveredlookingthroughtitle-deedsandpapers。]
Wal。Sofallsouteverything,asIwouldhaveit,Exactinplaceandtime。Thislord’sadvancesReceivesshe,——as,Iaugur,inthespleenOfwoundedprideshewill,——mycourseisclear。
Shecomes——all’swell——thetempestragesstill。
[JULIAenters,andpacestheroominastateofhighexcitement。]
Julia。Whathavemyeyestodowithwater?FireBecomesthembetter!
Wal。True!
Julia。Yet,mustIweepTobesomonitored,andbyaman!
Amanthatwasmyslave!whomIhaveseenKneelatmyfeetfrommorntillnoon,contentWithleavetoonlygazeuponmyface,Andtellmewhathereadthere,——tillthepageIknewbyheart,I’gantodoubtIknew,Emblazonedbythecommentofhistongue!
Andhetolessonme!LethimcomehereOnMondayweek!Hene’erleadsmetochurch!
Iwouldnotprofitbyhisrank,orwealth,Thoughkingsmightcallhimcousin,fortheirsake!
I’llshowhimIhavepride!
Wal。You’reveryright!
Julia。Hewouldhavehadto-dayourwedding-day!
Ifixedamonthfromthis。Heprayedandprayed;
Idroppedaweek。Heprayedandprayedthemore!
Idroppedasecondone。Stillmoreheprayed!
AndItookoffanotherweek,——andnowIhavehisleavetowed,ornottowed!
He’llseethatIhavepride!
Wal。Andsoheought。
Julia。O!forsomewaytobringhimtomyfoot!
Butheshouldliethere!Why,’twillgoabroadThathehascastmeoff。ThatthereshouldliveThemancouldsayso!OrthatIshouldliveTobetheleavingsofaman!
Wal。ThycaseIownahardone!
Julia。Hard?’Twilldrivememad!
Hiswealthandtitle!Irefusedalord-
Idid!——thatprivilyimploredmyhand,Andnevercaredtotellhimon’t!SomuchIhatehimnow,thatlordshouldnotinvainImploremyhandagain!
Wal。You’dgiveithim?
Julia。Iwould。
Wal。You’dwedthatlord?
Julia。ThatlordI’dwed;-
Oranyotherlord,——onlytoshowhimThatIcouldwedabovehim!
Wal。GivemeyourhandAndwordtothat。
Julia。There!Takemyhandandword!
Wal。Thatlordhathofferedyouhishandagain。
Julia。Hehas?
Wal。Yourfatherknowsit:heapprovesofhim。
Therearethetitle-deedsoftheestates,Sentformyjealousscrutiny。Allsound,-
Noflaw,orspeck,thate’enthelynx-eyedlawItselfcouldfind。Alordofmanylands!
InBerkshirehalfacounty;andthesameInWiltshire,andinLancashire!AcrossTheIrishSeaaprincipality!
Andnotaroodwithbondorlienonit!
Wiltgivethatlordawife?WiltmakethyselfAcountess?Here’stheprofferofhishand。
Writethoucontent,andwearacoronet!
Julia。[Eagerly。]Givemethepaper。
Wal。There!Here’spenandink。
Sitdown。Whydoyoupause?AflourishofThepen,andyou’reacountess。
Julia。MypoorbrainWhirlsroundandround!Iwouldnotwedhimnow,WerehemorelowlyatmyfeettosueThane’erhedid!
Wal。Wedwhom?
Julia。SirThomasClifford。
Wal。You’reright。
Julia。Hisrankandwealtharerootstodoubt;
Andwhiletheylasted,stilltheweedwouldgrow,Howe’eryoupluckedit。No!That’so’er——that’sdone。
WasneverladywrongedsofoulasI![Weeps。]
Wal。Thou’rttobepitied。
Julia。[Aroused。]Pitied!NotsobadAsthat。
Wal。Indeedthouart,tolovethemanThatspurnsthee!
Julia。Lovehim!Love!IfhatecouldfindAwordmoreharshthanitsownname,I’dtakeit,TospeaktheloveIbearhim![Weeps。]
Wal。Writethyownname,Andshowhimhownearakinthyhate’stohate。
Julia。[Writes。]’Tisdone!
Wal。’Tiswell!I’llcometoyouanon![Goesout。]
Julia。[Alone。]I’mglad’tisdone!I’mveryglad’tisdone!
I’vedonethethingIought。FrommydisgraceThislordshallliftme’bovethereachofscorn-
Thatidlywagsitstongue,wherewealthandstateNeedonlybeckontohavecrowdstolaud!
Thenhowthetableschange!ThehandhespurnedHisbetterstake!Letmerememberthat!
I’llgracemyrank!Iwill!I’llcarryitAsIwasborntoit!IwarrantnoneShallsayitfitsmenot:-but,oneandallConfessIwearitbravely,asIought!
Andheshallhearit!Ay,andheshallseeit!
IwillrollbyhiminanequipageWouldmortgagehisestate——butheshallownHisslightofmewasmyadvancement!Loveme!
Heneverlovedme!ifhehad,hene’erHadgivenmeup!Love’snotaspider’swebButfittomeshafly——thatyoucanbreakByonlyblowingon’t!Heneverlovedme!
Heknowsnotwhatloveis!——or,ifhedoes,Hehasnotbeeno’ercharyofhispeace!
Andthathe’llfindwhenI’manother’swife,Lost!——losttohimforever!Tearsagain!
WhyshouldIweepforhim?Whomaketheirwoes。
Deservethem!WhathaveItodowithtears?
[EnterHELEN。]
Helen。News,Julia,news!
Julia。What!is’taboutSirThomas?
Helen。SirThomas,sayyou?He’snomoreSirThomas!
Thatcousinlives,asheirtowhom,hiswealthAndtitlecametohim。
Julia。Washenotdead?
Helen。NomorethanIamdead。
Julia。Iwould’twerenotso。
Helen。Whatsayyou,Julia?
Julia。Nothing!
Helen。IcouldkissThatcousin!couldn’tyou,Julia?
Julia。Wherefore?
Helen。WhyForcomingbacktolifeagain,as’twereUponhiscousintorevengeyou。
Julia。Helen!
Helen。Indeed’tistrue。WithwhatasorrygraceThegentlemanwillbearhimselfwithoutHistitle!MasterClifford!HaveyounotSometokentoreturnhim?Somelove-letter?
Somebrooch?Somepin?Someanything?I’llbeYourmessenger,fornothingbutthepleasureOfcallinghimplain"MasterClifford。"
Julia。Helen!
Helen。Orhasheaughtofthine?Writetohim,Julia,Demandingit!Do,Julia,ifyouloveme;
AndI’lldirectitinaschoolboy’shand,AsroundasIcanwrite,"ToMasterClifford。"
Julia。Helen!
Helen。I’llthinkoffiftythousandwaysTomortifyhim!I’veatwentiethcousin,Acare-for-nought,atmischief。HimI’llset,Withtwentyothermadcapslikehimself,TowalkthestreetsthetraitormostfrequentsAndgivehimsalutationashepasses-
"Howdoyou,MasterClifford?"
Julia。[Highlyincensed。]Helen!
Helen。Blessme!
Julia。Ihateyou,Helen!
[EnterMODUS。]
Mod。Joyforyou,fairlady!
Ourbaronetisnowplaingentleman-
Andhardlythat,notmasterofthemeansTobearhimselfassuch。ThekinsmanlivesWhoseonlyrumoureddeathgavewealthtohim,Andtitle。Ahardcreditorheproves,Whokeepsstrictreckoning——willhaveinterest。
Aswellasprincipal。AruinedmanIsnowSirThomasClifford!
Helen。I’mgladon’t。
Mod。AndsoamI,AscurvytrickitwasHeservedyou,madam。Usealadyso!
Imerelyborewithhim。Ineverlikedhim。
Helen。NomoredidI。No,nevercouldIthinkHelookedhistitle。
Mod。No,noractedit。
Ifrightlytheyreport,hene’erdisbursedToentertainhisfriends,’tisbroadlysaid,Ahundredpoundsintheyear!HewasmostpoorIntheappointmentsofamanofrank,Possessingwealthlikehis。Hishorses,hacks!
Hisgentleman,afootman!andhisfootman,Agroom!ThesportsthatmenofqualityAndspiritcountenance,hekeptalooffrom,Fromscrupleofeconomy,nottaste,-
Asracingandthelike。Inbrief,helackedThoseshiningpointsthat,morethanname,denoteHighbreeding;and,moreover,wasamanOfveryshallowlearning。
Julia。Silence,sir!
Forshame!
Helen。Why,Julia!
Julia。Speaknottome!Poor!
Mostpoor!Itellyou,sir,hewasthemakingOffiftygentlemen——eachoneofwhomWeremorethanpeerforthee!Histitle,sir,Lenthimnogracehedidnotpayitback!
Thoughithadbeenthehighestofthehigh,Hewouldhavelookedit,feltit,actedit,Asthoucouldstne’erhavedone!WhenfoundyououtYoulikedhimnot?Itwasnotereto-day!
OrthatbasespiritImustreckonyoursWhichsmileswhereitwouldscowl——canstooptohateAndfeartoshowit!Hewasyourbetter,sir,Andis!——Ay,is!thoughstrippedofrankandwealth,Hisnature’s’boveorfortune’sloveorspite,Toblazonortoblurrit![Retires。]
Mod。[ToHELEN。]IwastoldMuchtodisparagehim——Iknownotwherefore。
Helen。AndsowasI,andknowasmuchthecause。
[EnterMASTERWALTER,withparchments。]
Wal。Joy,myJulia!
Impatientlovehasforesight!LoyouhereThemarriagedeedsfilledup,exceptablankTowriteyourjointure。Whatyouwill,mygirl!
Isthisalover?Look!ThreethousandpoundsPerannumforyourprivatecharges!Ha!
There’spin-money!Isthisalover?MarkWhatacres,forests,tenements,aretaxedForyourrevenue;andsosetapart,Thatfingercannottouchthem,savethineown。
Isthisalover?Whatgoodfortune’sthine!
Thoudostnotspeak;but,’tisthewaywithjoy!
Withrichestheart,ithasthepooresttongue!
Mod。Whatgreatgoodfortune’sthisyouspeakof,sir?
Wal。Acoronet,MasterModus!YoubeholdThewifeelect,sir,ofnolessamanThanthenewEarlofRochdale——heirofhimThat’srecentlydeceased。
Helen。MydearestJulia,Muchjoytoyou!
Mod。Allgoodattendyou,madam!
Wal。Thisletterbringsexcusesfromhislordship,Whoseabsenceitaccountsfor。HerepairsTohisestateinLancashire,andthitherWefollow。
Julia。When,sir?
Wal。Now。Thisveryhour。
Julia。Thisveryhour!Ocruel,fatalhaste!
Wal。"Ocruel,fatalhaste!"Whatmeanestthou?
HaveIdonewrongtodothybidding,then?
Ihavedonenomore。Thouwastanoffcastbride,Andwouldstbeanaffiancedone——thouartso!
Thou’dsthavetheslightthatmarkedtheeoutforscorn,Convertedtoameansofgracingthee-
Itisso!Ifourwishescometoosoon,Whatcanmakesureofwelcome?InmyzealTowintheethine,thouknow’st,atanytimeI’dplaythesteed,whosewilltoservehislord,Withhislastbreathgiveshislastboundforhim!
SinceonlynoonhaveIdespatchedwhatwellHadkeptabraceofclerks,andmore,onfoot-
Andthen,perhaps,hadbeentodoagain!-
Notfinishedsure,complete——thecompactfirm,Asfateitselfhadsealedit!
Julia。Giveyouthanks!
Though’tweremydeath!mydeath!
Wal。Thydeath!indeed,Forhappinesslikethis,onewellmightdie!
Takethylord’sletter!Well?
[EnterTHOMAS,withaletter。]
Thos。Thisletter,sir,ThegentlemanthatservedSirThomasClifford-
OrhimthatwasSirThomas——gavetomeForMistressJulia。
Julia。Giveitme!
[Throwingawaytheonesheholds。]
Wal。[Snatchingit。]Forwhat?
Wouldstreadit?He’sabankrupt!strippedoftitle,House,chattels,lands,andall!Anakedbankrupt,Withneitherpurse,nortrust!Wouldstreadhisletter?
Abeggar!Yea,averybeggar!——fasts,unlessHedinesonalms!Howdursthesendtheealetter!
Afellowcutonthishand,andonthat;
Bowsandiscutagain,andbowsagain!
Whopaysyoufiftysmilesforhalfaone,-
Andthatgivengrudgingly!Toyoualetter!
Iburstwithcholer!ThusItreathisletter!
[Tearsandthrowsitontheground。]
So!Iwaswrongtolethimruffleme;
Heisnotworththespendingangeron!
Iprithee,MasterModus,usedespatch,Andpresentlymakereadyforourride。
You,Helen,tomyJulialook——achangeOfdresseswillsuffice。Shemusthavenewones,Matchesforhernewstate!Haste,friends。MyJulia!
Whystandyouporingthereupontheground?
Timeflies。Yourriseastoundsyou?Neverheed-
You’llplaymyladycountesslikeaqueen!
[Theygoout。]
ACTIV。
SCENEI。——ARoomintheEarlofRochdale’s[EaterHELEN。]
Helen。I’mwearywanderingfromroomtoroom;
Acastleafterallisbutahouse-
Thedullestonewhenlackingcompany。
WereIathome,IcouldbecompanyUntomyself。IseenotMasterWalter,He’severwithhisward。Iseenother。
ByMasterWalter’swillshebidesalone。
Myfatherstopsintown。Ican’tseehim。
Mycousinmakeshisbookshiscompany。
I’llgotobedandsleep。No——I’llstayupAndplaguemycousinintomakinglove!
For,thathelovesme,shrewdlyIsuspect。
HowdullheisthathathnotsensetoseeWhatliesbeforehim,andhe’dliketofind!
I’llchangemytreatmentofhim。Crosshim,whereBeforeIusedtohumourhim。Hecomes,Poringuponabook。What’sthatyouread?
[EnterMODUS。]
Mod。Latin,sweetcousin。
Helen。’Tisanaughtytongue,Ifear,andteachesmentolie。
Mod。Tolie!
Helen。Youstudyit。Youcallyourcousinsweet,Andtreatherasyouwouldacrab。Assour’Twouldseemyouthinkher,asyoucovether!
Whyhowthemonsterstares,andlooksabout!
YouconstrueLatin,andcan’tconstruethat!
Mod。Ineverstudiedwomen。
Helen。No;normen。
Elsewouldyoubetterknowtheirways:norreadInpresenceofalady。[Strikesthebookfromhishand。]
Mod。Rightyousay,Andwellyouservedme,cousin,sotostrikeThevolumefrommyhand。Iownmyfault;
Sopleaseyou——mayIpickitupagain?
I’llputitinmypocket!
Helen。Pickitup。
HefearsmeasIwerehisgrandmother!
Whatisthebook?
Mod。’TisOvid’sArtofLove。
Helen。ThatOvidwasafool!
Mod。Inwhat?
Helen。Inthat:
Tocallthatthinganart,whichartisnone。
Mod。Andisnotloveanart?
Helen。Areyouafool,AswellasOvid?Loveanart!NoartButtakethtimeandpainstolearn。LovecomesWithneither!Is’ttohoardsuchgrainasthat,Youwenttocollege?Betterstayathome,AndstudyhomelyEnglish。
Mod。Nay,youknownotTheargument。
Helen。Idon’t?IknowitbetterThaneverOviddid!Theface——theform-
Theheart——themindwefancy,cousin;that’sTheargument!Why,cousin,youknownothing。
Supposealadywereinlovewiththee:
CouldstthoubyOvid,cousin,finditout?
Couldstfinditout,wastthouinlovethyself?
CouldOvid,cousin,teachtheetomakelove?
Icould,thatneverreadhim!YoubeginWithmelancholy;thentosadness;thenTosickness;thentodying——butnotdie!
Shewouldnotletthee,weresheofmymind!
She’dtakecompassiononthee。Thenforhope;
Fromhopetoconfidence;fromconfidenceToboldness;——thenyou’dspeak;atfirstentreat;
Thenurge;thenflout;thenargue;thenenforce;
Makeprisonerofherhand;besiegeherwaist;
Threatenherlipswithstorming;keepthywordAndcarryher!Mysampler’gainstthyOvid!
Whycousin,areyoufrightened,thatyoustandAsyouwerestrickendumb?Thecaseisclear,Youarenosoldier。You’llne’erwinabattle。
Youcaretoomuchforblows!
Mod。Youwrongmethere,AtschoolIwasthechampionofmyform;
AndsinceIwenttocollege-
Helen。Thatforcollege!
Mod。Nay,hearme!
Helen。Well?What,sinceyouwenttocollege?
Youknowwhatmenaresetdownfor,whoboastOftheirownbravery!Goon,bravecousin:
What,sinceyouwenttocollege?WastherenotOneQuentinHalworththere?Youknowtherewas,Andthathewasyourmaster!
Mod。Hemymaster!
Thricewasheworstedbyme。
Helen。StillwasheYourmaster。
Mod。HeallowedIhadthebest!
Allowedit,markme!nortomealone,ButtwentyIcouldname。
Helen。AndmasteredyouAtlast!Confessit,cousin,’tisthetruth!
Aproctor’sdaughteryoudidbothaffect-
Lookatmeanddenyit!OfthetwainShemoreaffectedyou;——I’vecaughtyounow,Boldcousin!Markyou?opportunityOnopportunityshegaveyou,sir-
Denyitifyoucan!——butthoughtoothers,Whenyoudiscoursedofher,youwereaflame;
Toheryouwereawickthatwouldnotlight,Thoughheldintheveryfire!Andsohewonher-
Wonher,becausehewooedherlikeaman。
Forallyourcuffings,cuffingyouagainWithmostusuriousinterest。Now,sir,Protestthatyouarevaliant!
Mod。CousinHelen!
Helen。Well,sir?
Mod。Thetaleisallaforgery!
Helen。Aforgery!
Mod。Fromfirsttolast;ne’erspokeI
Toaproctor’sdaughterwhileIwasatcollege。
Helen。’Twasascrivener’sthen——orsomebody’s。
Butwhatconcernsitwhose?
Enough,youlovedher!
And,shameuponyou,letanothertakeher!
Mod。Cousin,I’lltellyou,ifyou’llonlyhearme,IlovednowomanwhileIwasatcollege-
Saveone,andherIfanciedereIwentthere。
Helen。Indeed!NowI’llretreat,ifhe’sadvancing。
Comeshenoton!Owhatastock’stheman!
Well,cousin?
Mod。Well!Whatmorewouldsthavemesay?
IthinkI’vesaidenough。
Helen。AndsothinkI。
Ididbutjestwithyou。Youarenotangry?
Shakehands!Why,cousin,doyousqueezemeso?
Mod。[Lettinghergo。]IswearIsqueezedyounot。
Helen。Youdidnot?
Mod。No。I’lldieifIdid!
Helen。Whythenyoudidnot,cousin,Solet’sshakehandsagain-
[Hetakesherhandasbefore。]OgoandnowReadOvid!Cousin,willyoutellmeonething:
WoreloversruffsinMasterOvid’stime?
Behovedhimteachthem,then,toputthemon;-
Andthatyouhavetolearn。Holdupyourhead!
Why,cousin,howyoublush!Plagueontheruff!
Icannotgive’taset。You’reblushingstill!
Whydoyoublush,dearcousin?So!——’twillbeatme!
I’llgiveitup。
Mod。Nay,prithee,don’t——tryon!
Helen。AndifIdo,Ifearyou’llthinkmebold。
Mod。Forwhat?
Helen。Totrustmyfacesoneartothine。
Mod。Iknownotwhatyoumean。
Helen。I’mgladyoudon’t!
Cousin,Iownrightwellbehavedyouare,Mostmarvellouslywellbehaved!They’vebredYouwellatcollege。WithanothermanMylipswouldbeindanger!Hangtheruff!
Mod。Nay,giveitup,norplaguethyself,dearcousin。
Helen。Dearfool![Throwstheruffontheground。]
IsweartheruffisgoodforjustAslittleasitsmaster!There!——’Tisspoiled-
You’llhavetogetanother!Hieforit,Andwearitinthefashionofawisp,EreIadjustitforthee!Farewell,cousin!
You’dneedtostudyOvid’sArtofLove。
[HELENgoesout。]
Mod。[Solus。]Wentsheinanger!Iwillfollowher,-
No,Iwillnot!Heigho!Ilovemycousin!
Owouldthatshelovedme!WhydidshetauntmeWithbackwardnessinlove?Whatcouldshemean?
SeessheIloveher,andsolaughsatme,BecauseIlackthefronttowooher?Nay,I’llwooherthen!Herlipsshallbeindanger,Whennextshetruststhemnearme!LookedsheatmeTo-dayasneverdidshelookbefore!
Aboldheart,MasterModus!’TisasayingAfaintoneneverwonfairladyyet!
I’llwoomycousin,comewhatwillon’t。Yes:
[Beginsreadingagain,throwsdownthebook。]
HangOvid’sArtofLove!I’llwoomycousin!
[Goesout。]
SCENEII。——TheBanqueting-roomintheEarlofRochdale’sMansion。
[EnterMASTERWALTERandJULIA。]
Wal。Thisisthebanqueting-room。ThouseestasfarItleavesthelastbehind,asthatexcelsTheformerones。AllisproportionhereAndharmony!Observe!ThemassypillarsMaywelllookproudtobearthegildeddome。
Youmarkthosefull-lengthportraits?They’retheheads,Thestatelyheads,ofhisancestralline。
Hereo’erthefeasttheyhaplystillpreside!
Markthosemedallions!StandtheyforthornotInboldandfairrelief?Isnotthisbrave?
Julia。[Abstractedly。]Itis。
Wal。Itshouldbeso。TocheerthebloodThatflowsinnobleveinsismadethefeastThatgladdenshere!Youseethisdrapery?
’Tisrichestvelvet!Fringeandtassels,gold!
Isnotthiscostly?
Julia。Yes。
Wal。Andchaste,thewhile?
Bothchasteandcostly?
Julia。Yes。
Wal。Comehither!There’samirrorforyou。See!
Onesheetfromfloortoceiling!Lookintoit,Saluteitsmistress!Dostnotknowher?
Julia。[Sighingdeeply。]Yes。
Wal。Andsighestthoutoknowher?WaituntilTo-morrow,whenthebanquetshallbespreadInthefairhall;theguests——alreadybid,Aroundit;here,herlord;andthere,herself;
Presidingo’erthecheerthathailshimbridegroom,Andherthehappybride!Dosthearme?
Julia。[Sighingstillmoredeeply。]Yes。
Wal。Thesearetheday-roomsonly,wehaveseen。
Forpublicanddomesticuseskept。
I’llshowyounowthelodging-rooms。
[Goes,thenturnsandobservesJULIAstandingperfectlyabstracted。]
You’retired。
Letitbetillafterdinner,then。YetoneI’dliketheemuchtosee——thebridalchamber。
[JULIAstarts,crossesherhandsuponherbreast,andlooksupwards。]
Iseeyou’retired:yetitisworththeviewing,IfonlyforthetapestrywhichshowsTheneedlelikethepencilglowswithlife;
[Bringsdownchairs——theysit。]
Thestory’sofapagewholovedthedameHeserved——aprincess!——Love’saheedlessthing!
Thatnevertakesaccountofobstacles;
Makesplainsofmountains,rivuletsofseas,Thatpartitfromitswish。Soprovedthepage,Whofromastatesolowly,lookedsohigh,-
Butlove’sagreaterlackwitstillthanthis。
Sayitaspires——that’sgain!Lovestoops——that’sloss!
Youknowwhatcomes。Theprincesslovedthepage。
ShallIgoon,orhereleaveoff?
Julia。Goon。
Wal。EachsideofthechambershowsadifferentstageOfthisfondpage,andfonderlady’slove。{2}
First——no,itisnotthat。
Julia。Oh,recollect!
Wal。Andyetitis。
Julia。Nodoubtitis。Whatis’t?
Wal。Heholdstoherasalver,withacup;
HischeeksmoremantlingwithhispassionthanThecupwiththerubywine。Sheheedshimnot,Fortoogreatheedofhim:-butseemstoholdDebatebetwixtherpassionandherpride-
That’sliketolosetheday。YoureaditinHervacanteye,knitbrow,andpartedlips,WhichspeakahearttoobusyallwithinTonotewhat’sdonewithout。Likeyouthetale?
Julia。Ilisttoeveryword。
Wal。ThenextsidepaintsThepageuponhisknee。Hehastoldhistale;
Andfoundthatwhenhelosthisheart,heplayedNolosinggame:butwonaricherone!
Theremayyoureadinhim,howlovewouldseemMosthumblewhenmostbold,——youquestionwhichAppearstokissherhand——hisbreath,orlips!
InheryoureadhowwhollylostissheWhotrustsherhearttolove。ShallIgiveo’er?
Julia。Nay,tellittotheend。Is’tmelancholy?
Wal。Toanswerthat,wouldmarthestory。
Julia。Right。
Wal。Thethirdsidenowwecometo。
Julia。Whatshowsthat?
Wal。Thepageandprincessstill。ButstandshersireBetweenthem。Sternhegraspshisdaughter’sarm,Whoseeyeslikefountainsplay;whilethroughhertearsHerpassionshines,asthroughthefountaindropsThesun!Hisminionscrowdaroundthepage!
Theydraghimtoadungeon。
Julia。Haplessyouth!
Wal。Haplessindeed,that’stwiceacaptive!heartAndbodybothinbonds。Butthat’sthechain,Whichbalancecannotweigh,rulemeasure,touchDefinethetextureof,oreyedetect,That’sforgedbythesubtlecraftoflove!
Noneedtotellyouthathewearsit。SuchThecunningofthehandthatpliedtheloom,You’vebuttomarkthestrainingofhiseye,Tofeelthecoilyourself!
Julia。Ifeel’twithout!
You’vefinishedwiththethirdside;nowthefourth!
Wal。Itbringsustoadungeon,then。
Julia。Thepage,Thethralloflove,morethanthedungeon’sthrall,Isthere?
Wal。Heis。Heliesinfetters。
Julia。Hard!
Hardasthesteel,thehandsthatputthemon。
Wal。Someoneunrivetsthem!
Julia。Theprincess?’Tis!
Wal。Itisanotherpage。
Julia。Itisherself!
Wal。Herskinisfair;andhisisberry-brown。
Hislocksareravenblack;andhersaregold。
Julia。Love’scunningofdisguises!spiteoflocks,Skin,vesture,——itisshe,andonlysheWhatwillnotconstantwomandoforloveThat’slovedwithconstancy!Setherthetask,Virtueapproving,thatwillbaffleher!
O’ertaxherstooping,patience,courage,wit!
Mylifeuponit,’tistheprincess’self,Transformedintoapage!
Wal。ThedungeondoorStandsopen,andyouseebeyond-
Julia。Herfather!
Wal。No;asteed。
Julia。[Startingup。]O,welcomesteed,Myheartboundsatthethoughtofthee!ThoucomestTobearthepagefrombondstoliberty。
Whatelse?
Wal。[Rising。]Thestory’stold。
Julia。Toobrieflytold;
Ohappyprincess,thathadwealthandstateTolaythemdownforlove!WhoseconstantloveAppearancesapproved,notfalsified!
Awinnerinthyloss,aswellasgain。
Wal。Weighslovesomuch?
Julia。Whatwouldyouweigh’gainstloveThat’strue?Tellmewithwhatyou’dturnthescale?
Yea,maketheindexwaver?Wealth?Afeather!
Rank?Tinselagainstbullioninthebalance!
Theloveofkindred?Thattoset’gainstlove!
Friendshipcomesnearestto’t;butputitin,Friendshipwillkickthebeam!——weighnothing’gainstit!
Weighloveagainsttheworld!
Yetaretheyhappythathavenaughttosaytoit。
Wal。Andsuchaoneartthou。Whowiselywed,Wedhappily。Thelovethouspeak’stof,Aflowerisonly,thatitsseasonhas,Whichtheymustlooktoseethewitheringof,Whopleasureinitsbuddinganditsbloom!
ButwisdomistheconstantevergreenWhichlivesthewholeyearthrough!Bethat,yourflower!
[EnteraServant。]
Well?
Serv。Mylord’ssecretaryiswithout。
Hebringsaletterforherladyship,Andcravesadmittancetoher。
Wal。Showhimin。
Julia。No。
Wal。Thoumustseehim。Toshowslighttohim,Wereslightinghimthatsenthim。Showhimin!
[Servantgoesout。]
Someerrandproperforthyprivateear,Besidestheletterhemaybring。WhatmeanThispalenessandthistrembling?Markme,Julia!
If,fromthesenuptials,whichthyselfinvited-
Whichatthyseekingcame——thouwouldstbefreed,Thouhastgonetoofar!Recedingweredisgrace,Soonerthanseetheesufferwhich,theheartsThatlovetheemostwouldwishtheedead!Reflect!
Takethought!collectthyself!WithdignityReceivethybridegroom’smessenger!forsureAsdawnsto-morrow’ssun,to-morrownightSeestheeaweddedbride!
[Goesout。]
Julia。[Alone。]Aweddedbride!
Isitadream?Isitaphantasm?’TisToohorribleforreality!foraughtelseToopalpable!Owoulditwereadream!
HowwouldIblessthesunthatwakedmefromit!
Iperish!LikesomedesperatemarinerImpatientofastrangeandhostileland,Whorashlyhoistshissailandputstosea,Andbeingfastonreefsandquicksandsborne,Essaysinvainoncemoretomaketheland,Whencewindandcurrentdrivehim;I’mwreckedBymineownact!What!noescape?nohope?
None!Imuste’enabidethesehatednuptials!
Hated!——Ah!ownit,andthencursethyself!
Thatmadestthebanethouloathest——fortheloveThoubear’sttoonewhonevercanbethine!
Yes——love!Deceivethyselfnolonger。FalseTosay’tispityforhisfall——respect,Engenderedbyahollowworld’sdisdain,Whichhootswhomficklefortunecheersnomore!
’Tisnoneofthese;’tislove——andifnotlove,Whythenidolatry!Ay,that’sthenameTospeakthebroadest,deepest,strongestpassion,Thateverwoman’sheartwasborneawayby!
Hecomes!Thou’dstplaythelady,——playitnow!
[EnteraServant,conductingCLIFFORD,plainlyattiredastheEARL
OFROCHDALE’SSecretary。]
Servant。Hislordship’ssecretary。
[Servantgoesout。]
Julia。Speakshenot?OrdoeshewaitfororderstounfoldHisbusiness?StoppedhisbusinesstillIspoke,I’dholdmypeaceforever!
[CLIFFORDkneels;presentingaletter。]
Doeshekneel?
AladyamItomyheart’scontent!
Couldheunmakemethatwhichclaimshisknee,I’dkneeltohim——Iwould!Iwould!——Yourwill?
Clif。Thisletterfrommylord。
Julia。Ofate!Whospeaks?
Clif。Thesecretaryofmylord。
Julia。Ibreathe!
Icouldhavesworn’twashe!
[Makesanefforttolookathim,butisunable。]
Solikethevoice-
Idarenotlook,lesttheretheformshouldstand!
Howcamehebythatvoice?’TisClifford’svoice,IfeverCliffordspoke!Myfearscomeback-
Cliffordthesecretaryofmylord!
Fortunehathfreaks,butnonesomadasthat!
Itcannotbe!——Itshouldnotbe!——Alook,Andallweresetatrest。