ACTISCENEI。DUKEORSINO’spalace。EnterDUKEORSINO，CURIO，andotherLords；MusiciansattendingDUKEORSINOIfmusicbethefoodoflove，playon；
　　Givemeexcessofit，that，surfeiting，Theappetitemaysicken，andsodie。
　　Thatstrainagain！ithadadyingfall：
　　O，itcameo’ermyearlikethesweetsound，Thatbreathesuponabankofviolets，Stealingandgivingodour！Enough；nomore：
　　’Tisnotsosweetnowasitwasbefore。
　　Ospiritoflove！howquickandfreshartthou，That，notwithstandingthycapacityReceivethasthesea，noughtentersthere，Ofwhatvalidityandpitchsoe’er，Butfallsintoabatementandlowprice，Eveninaminute：sofullofshapesisfancyThatitaloneishighfantastical。CURIOWillyougohunt，mylord？DUKEORSINOWhat，Curio？CURIOThehart。DUKEORSINOWhy，soIdo，thenoblestthatIhave：
　　O，whenmineeyesdidseeOliviafirst，Methoughtshepurgedtheairofpestilence！
　　ThatinstantwasIturn’dintoahart；
　　Andmydesires，likefellandcruelhounds，E’ersincepursueme。
　　EnterVALENTINE
　　Hownow！whatnewsfromher？VALENTINESopleasemylord，Imightnotbeadmitted；
　　Butfromherhandmaiddoreturnthisanswer：
　　Theelementitself，tillsevenyears’heat，Shallnotbeholdherfaceatampleview；
　　But，likeacloistress，shewillveiledwalkAndwateronceadayherchamberroundWitheye-offendingbrine：allthistoseasonAbrother’sdeadlove，whichshewouldkeepfreshAndlastinginhersadremembrance。DUKEORSINOO，shethathathaheartofthatfineframeTopaythisdebtoflovebuttoabrother，Howwillshelove，whentherichgoldenshaftHathkill’dtheflockofallaffectionselseThatliveinher；whenliver，brainandheart，Thesesovereignthrones，areallsupplied，andfill’dHersweetperfectionswithoneselfking！
　　Awaybeforemetosweetbedsofflowers：
　　Love-thoughtslierichwhencanopiedwithbowers。
　　ExeuntSCENEII。Thesea-coast。EnterVIOLA，aCaptain，andSailorsVIOLAWhatcountry，friends，isthis？CaptainThisisIllyria，lady。VIOLAAndwhatshouldIdoinIllyria？
　　MybrotherheisinElysium。
　　Perchanceheisnotdrown’d：whatthinkyou，sailors？CaptainItisperchancethatyouyourselfweresaved。VIOLAOmypoorbrother！andsoperchancemayhebe。CaptainTrue，madam：and，tocomfortyouwithchance，Assureyourself，afterourshipdidsplit，WhenyouandthosepoornumbersavedwithyouHungonourdrivingboat，Isawyourbrother，Mostprovidentinperil，bindhimself，Courageandhopebothteachinghimthepractise，Toastrongmastthatliveduponthesea；
　　Where，likeAriononthedolphin’sback，IsawhimholdacquaintancewiththewavesSolongasIcouldsee。VIOLAForsayingso，there’sgold：
　　Mineownescapeunfoldethtomyhope，Wheretothyspeechservesforauthority，Thelikeofhim。Know’stthouthiscountry？CaptainAy，madam，well；forIwasbredandbornNotthreehours’travelfromthisveryplace。VIOLAWhogovernshere？CaptainAnobleduke，innatureasinname。VIOLAWhatisthename？CaptainOrsino。VIOLAOrsino！Ihaveheardmyfathernamehim：
　　Hewasabachelorthen。CaptainAndsoisnow，orwassoverylate；
　　ForbutamonthagoIwentfromhence，Andthen’twasfreshinmurmur，——as，youknow，Whatgreatonesdothelesswillprattleof，——
　　ThathedidseektheloveoffairOlivia。VIOLAWhat’sshe？CaptainAvirtuousmaid，thedaughterofacountThatdiedsometwelvemonthsince，thenleavingherIntheprotectionofhisson，herbrother，Whoshortlyalsodied：forwhosedearlove，Theysay，shehathabjuredthecompanyAndsightofmen。VIOLAOthatIservedthatladyAndmightnotbedeliveredtotheworld，TillIhadmademineownoccasionmellow，Whatmyestateis！CaptainThatwerehardtocompass；
　　Becauseshewilladmitnokindofsuit，No，nottheduke’s。VIOLAThereisafairbehaviorinthee，captain；
　　AndthoughthatnaturewithabeauteouswallDothoftcloseinpollution，yetoftheeIwillbelievethouhastamindthatsuitsWiththisthyfairandoutwardcharacter。
　　Iprithee，andI’llpaytheebounteously，ConcealmewhatIam，andbemyaidForsuchdisguiseashaplyshallbecomeTheformofmyintent。I’llservethisduke：
　　Thoushallpresentmeasaneunuchtohim：
　　Itmaybeworththypains；forIcansingAndspeaktohiminmanysortsofmusicThatwillallowmeveryworthhisservice。
　　WhatelsemayhaptotimeIwillcommit；
　　Onlyshapethouthysilencetomywit。CaptainBeyouhiseunuch，andyourmuteI’llbe：
　　Whenmytongueblabs，thenletmineeyesnotsee。VIOLAIthankthee：leadmeon。
　　ExeuntSCENEIII。OLIVIA’Shouse。EnterSIRTOBYBELCHandMARIASIRTOBYBELCHWhataplaguemeansmyniece，totakethedeathofherbrotherthus？Iamsurecare’sanenemytolife。MARIABymytroth，SirToby，youmustcomeinearliero’
　　nights：yourcousin，mylady，takesgreatexceptionstoyourillhours。SIRTOBYBELCHWhy，letherexcept，beforeexcepted。MARIAAy，butyoumustconfineyourselfwithinthemodestlimitsoforder。SIRTOBYBELCHConfine！I’llconfinemyselfnofinerthanIam：
　　theseclothesaregoodenoughtodrinkin；andsobethesebootstoo：antheybenot，letthemhangthemselvesintheirownstraps。MARIAThatquaffinganddrinkingwillundoyou：
　　Iheardmyladytalkofityesterday；andofafoolishknightthatyoubroughtinonenightheretobeherwooer。SIRTOBYBELCHWho，SirAndrewAguecheek？MARIAAy，he。SIRTOBYBELCHHe’sastallamanasany’sinIllyria。MARIAWhat’sthattothepurpose？SIRTOBYBELCHWhy，hehasthreethousandducatsayear。MARIAAy，buthe’llhavebutayearinalltheseducats：
　　he’saveryfoolandaprodigal。SIRTOBYBELCHFie，thatyou’llsayso！heplayso’theviol-de-gamboys，andspeaksthreeorfourlanguageswordforwordwithoutbook，andhathallthegoodgiftsofnature。MARIAHehathindeed，almostnatural：forbesidesthathe’safool，he’sagreatquarreller：andbutthathehaththegiftofacowardtoallaythegusthehathinquarrelling，’tisthoughtamongtheprudenthewouldquicklyhavethegiftofagrave。SIRTOBYBELCHBythishand，theyarescoundrelsandsubtractorsthatsaysoofhim。Whoarethey？MARIATheythatadd，moreover，he’sdrunknightlyinyourcompany。SIRTOBYBELCHWithdrinkinghealthstomyniece：I’lldrinktoheraslongasthereisapassageinmythroatanddrinkinIllyria：he’sacowardandacoystrillthatwillnotdrinktomyniecetillhisbrainsturno’thetoelikeaparish-top。What，wench！
　　Castilianovulgo！forherecomesSirAndrewAgueface。
　　EnterSIRANDREWSIRANDREWSirTobyBelch！hownow，SirTobyBelch！SIRTOBYBELCHSweetSirAndrew！SIRANDREWBlessyou，fairshrew。MARIAAndyoutoo，sir。SIRTOBYBELCHAccost，SirAndrew，accost。SIRANDREWWhat’sthat？SIRTOBYBELCHMyniece’schambermaid。SIRANDREWGoodMistressAccost，Idesirebetteracquaintance。MARIAMynameisMary，sir。SIRANDREWGoodMistressMaryAccost，——SIRTOBYBELCHYoumistake，knight；’accost’isfronther，boardher，wooher，assailher。SIRANDREWBymytroth，Iwouldnotundertakeherinthiscompany。Isthatthemeaningof’accost’？MARIAFareyouwell，gentlemen。SIRTOBYBELCHAnthouletpartso，SirAndrew，wouldthoumightstneverdrawswordagain。SIRANDREWAnyoupartso，mistress，IwouldImightneverdrawswordagain。Fairlady，doyouthinkyouhavefoolsinhand？MARIASir，Ihavenotyoubythehand。SIRANDREWMarry，butyoushallhave；andhere’smyhand。MARIANow，sir，’thoughtisfree：’Iprayyou，bringyourhandtothebuttery-barandletitdrink。SIRANDREWWherefore，sweet-heart？what’syourmetaphor？MARIAIt’sdry，sir。SIRANDREWWhy，Ithinkso：IamnotsuchanassbutIcankeepmyhanddry。Butwhat’syourjest？MARIAAdryjest，sir。SIRANDREWAreyoufullofthem？MARIAAy，sir，Ihavethematmyfingers’ends：
　　marry，nowIletgoyourhand，Iambarren。
　　ExitSIRTOBYBELCHOknightthoulackestacupofcanary：
　　whendidI
　　seetheesoputdown？SIRANDREWNeverinyourlife，Ithink；unlessyouseecanaryputmedown。MethinkssometimesIhavenomorewitthanaChristianoranordinarymanhas：butI
　　amagreateaterofbeefandIbelievethatdoesharmtomywit。SIRTOBYBELCHNoquestion。SIRANDREWAnIthoughtthat，I’ldforswearit。I’llridehometo-morrow，SirToby。SIRTOBYBELCHPourquoi，mydearknight？SIRANDREWWhatis’Pourquoi’？doornotdo？IwouldIhadbestowedthattimeinthetonguesthatIhaveinfencing，dancingandbear-baiting：O，hadIbutfollowedthearts！SIRTOBYBELCHThenhadstthouhadanexcellentheadofhair。SIRANDREWWhy，wouldthathavemendedmyhair？SIRTOBYBELCHPastquestion；forthouseestitwillnotcurlbynature。SIRANDREWButitbecomesmewellenough，does’tnot？SIRTOBYBELCHExcellent；ithangslikeflaxonadistaff；
　　andI
　　hopetoseeahousewifetaketheebetweenherlegsandspinitoff。SIRANDREWFaith，I’llhometo-morrow，SirToby：
　　yourniecewillnotbeseen；orifshebe，it’sfourtooneshe’llnoneofme：thecounthimselfherehardbywoosher。SIRTOBYBELCHShe’llnoneo’thecount：she’llnotmatchaboveherdegree，neitherinestate，years，norwit；
　　I
　　haveheardherswear’t。Tut，there’slifein’t，man。SIRANDREWI’llstayamonthlonger。Iamafellowo’thestrangestmindi’theworld；Idelightinmasquesandrevelssometimesaltogether。SIRTOBYBELCHArtthougoodatthesekickshawses，knight？SIRANDREWAsanymaninIllyria，whatsoeverhebe，underthedegreeofmybetters；andyetIwillnotcomparewithanoldman。SIRTOBYBELCHWhatisthyexcellenceinagalliard，knight？SIRANDREWFaith，Icancutacaper。SIRTOBYBELCHAndIcancutthemuttonto’t。SIRANDREWAndIthinkIhavetheback-tricksimplyasstrongasanymaninIllyria。SIRTOBYBELCHWhereforearethesethingshid？whereforehavethesegiftsacurtainbefore’em？aretheyliketotakedust，likeMistressMall’spicture？whydostthounotgotochurchinagalliardandcomehomeinacoranto？Myverywalkshouldbeajig；Iwouldnotsomuchasmakewaterbutinasink-a-pace。Whatdostthoumean？Isitaworldtohidevirtuesin？
　　Ididthink，bytheexcellentconstitutionofthyleg，itwasformedunderthestarofagalliard。SIRANDREWAy，’tisstrong，anditdoesindifferentwellinaflame-colouredstock。Shallwesetaboutsomerevels？SIRTOBYBELCHWhatshallwedoelse？werewenotbornunderTaurus？SIRANDREWTaurus！That’ssidesandheart。SIRTOBYBELCHNo，sir；itislegsandthighs。Letmeseethecaper；ha！higher：ha，ha！excellent！
　　ExeuntSCENEIV。DUKEORSINO’spalace。EnterVALENTINEandVIOLAinman’sattireVALENTINEIfthedukecontinuethesefavourstowardsyou，Cesario，youareliketobemuchadvanced：hehathknownyoubutthreedays，andalreadyyouarenostranger。VIOLAYoueitherfearhishumourormynegligence，thatyoucallinquestionthecontinuanceofhislove：
　　isheinconstant，sir，inhisfavours？VALENTINENo，believeme。VIOLAIthankyou。Herecomesthecount。
　　EnterDUKEORSINO，CURIO，andAttendantsDUKEORSINOWhosawCesario，ho？VIOLAOnyourattendance，mylord；here。DUKEORSINOStandyouawhilealoof，Cesario，Thouknow’stnolessbutall；Ihaveunclasp’dTotheethebookevenofmysecretsoul：
　　Therefore，goodyouth，addressthygaituntoher；
　　Benotdeniedaccess，standatherdoors，Andtellthem，therethyfixedfootshallgrowTillthouhaveaudience。VIOLASure，mynoblelord，Ifshebesoabandon’dtohersorrowAsitisspoke，sheneverwilladmitme。DUKEORSINOBeclamorousandleapallcivilboundsRatherthanmakeunprofitedreturn。VIOLASayIdospeakwithher，mylord，whatthen？DUKEORSINOO，thenunfoldthepassionofmylove，Surpriseherwithdiscourseofmydearfaith：
　　Itshallbecometheewelltoactmywoes；
　　ShewillattenditbetterinthyyouthThaninanuncio’sofmoregraveaspect。VIOLAIthinknotso，mylord。DUKEORSINODearlad，believeit；
　　Fortheyshallyetbeliethyhappyyears，Thatsaythouartaman：Diana’slipIsnotmoresmoothandrubious；thysmallpipeIsasthemaiden’sorgan，shrillandsound，Andallissemblativeawoman’spart。
　　IknowthyconstellationisrightaptForthisaffair。Somefourorfiveattendhim；
　　All，ifyouwill；forImyselfambestWhenleastincompany。Prosperwellinthis，Andthoushaltliveasfreelyasthylord，Tocallhisfortunesthine。VIOLAI’lldomybestTowooyourlady：
　　Asideyet，abarfulstrife！
　　Whoe’erIwoo，myselfwouldbehiswife。
　　ExeuntSCENEV。OLIVIA’Shouse。EnterMARIAandClownMARIANay，eithertellmewherethouhastbeen，orIwillnotopenmylipssowideasabristlemayenterinwayofthyexcuse：myladywillhangtheeforthyabsence。ClownLetherhangme：hethatiswellhangedinthisworldneedstofearnocolours。MARIAMakethatgood。ClownHeshallseenonetofear。MARIAAgoodlentenanswer：Icantelltheewherethatsayingwasborn，of’Ifearnocolours。’ClownWhere，goodMistressMary？MARIAInthewars；andthatmayyoubeboldtosayinyourfoolery。ClownWell，Godgivethemwisdomthathaveit；
　　andthosethatarefools，letthemusetheirtalents。MARIAYetyouwillbehangedforbeingsolongabsent；or，tobeturnedaway，isnotthatasgoodasahangingtoyou？ClownManyagoodhangingpreventsabadmarriage；
　　and，forturningaway，letsummerbearitout。MARIAYouareresolute，then？ClownNotso，neither；butIamresolvedontwopoints。MARIAThatifonebreak，theotherwillhold；
　　or，ifbothbreak，yourgaskinsfall。ClownApt，ingoodfaith；veryapt。Well，gothyway；ifSirTobywouldleavedrinking，thouwertaswittyapieceofEve’sfleshasanyinIllyria。MARIAPeace，yourogue，nomoreo’that。Herecomesmylady：makeyourexcusewisely，youwerebest。
　　ExitClownWit，an’tbethywill，putmeintogoodfooling！
　　Thosewits，thatthinktheyhavethee，doveryoftprovefools；andI，thatamsureIlackthee，maypassforawiseman：forwhatsaysQuinapalus？
　　’Betterawittyfool，thanafoolishwit。’
　　EnterOLIVIAwithMALVOLIO
　　Godblessthee，lady！OLIVIATakethefoolaway。ClownDoyounothear，fellows？Takeawaythelady。OLIVIAGoto，you’readryfool；I’llnomoreofyou：
　　besides，yougrowdishonest。ClownTwofaults，madonna，thatdrinkandgoodcounselwillamend：forgivethedryfooldrink，thenisthefoolnotdry：bidthedishonestmanmendhimself；ifhemend，heisnolongerdishonest；
　　ifhecannot，letthebotchermendhim。Anythingthat’smendedisbutpatched：virtuethattransgressesisbutpatchedwithsin；andsinthatamendsisbutpatchedwithvirtue。Ifthatthissimplesyllogismwillserve，so；ifitwillnot，whatremedy？Asthereisnotruecuckoldbutcalamity，sobeauty’saflower。Theladybadetakeawaythefool；therefore，Isayagain，takeheraway。OLIVIASir，Ibadethemtakeawayyou。ClownMisprisioninthehighestdegree！Lady，cucullusnonfacitmonachum；that’sasmuchtosayasIwearnotmotleyinmybrain。Goodmadonna，givemeleavetoproveyouafool。OLIVIACanyoudoit？ClownDexterously，goodmadonna。OLIVIAMakeyourproof。ClownImustcatechiseyouforit，madonna：
　　goodmymouseofvirtue，answerme。OLIVIAWell，sir，forwantofotheridleness，I’llbideyourproof。ClownGoodmadonna，whymournestthou？OLIVIAGoodfool，formybrother’sdeath。ClownIthinkhissoulisinhell，madonna。OLIVIAIknowhissoulisinheaven，fool。ClownThemorefool，madonna，tomournforyourbrother’ssoulbeinginheaven。Takeawaythefool，gentlemen。OLIVIAWhatthinkyouofthisfool，Malvolio？
　　dothhenotmend？MALVOLIOYes，andshalldotillthepangsofdeathshakehim：
　　infirmity，thatdecaysthewise，dothevermakethebetterfool。ClownGodsendyou，sir，aspeedyinfirmity，forthebetterincreasingyourfolly！SirTobywillbeswornthatIamnofox；buthewillnotpasshiswordfortwopencethatyouarenofool。OLIVIAHowsayyoutothat，Malvolio？MALVOLIOImarvelyourladyshiptakesdelightinsuchabarrenrascal：Isawhimputdowntheotherdaywithanordinaryfoolthathasnomorebrainthanastone。Lookyounow，he’soutofhisguardalready；unlessyoulaughandministeroccasiontohim，heisgagged。Iprotest，Itakethesewisemen，thatcrowsoatthesesetkindoffools，nobetterthanthefools’zanies。OLIVIAOh，youaresickofself-love，Malvolio，andtastewithadistemperedappetite。Tobegenerous，guiltlessandoffreedisposition，istotakethosethingsforbird-boltsthatyoudeemcannon-bullets：
　　thereisnoslanderinanallowedfool，thoughhedonothingbutrail；nornorailinginaknowndiscreetman，thoughhedonothingbutreprove。ClownNowMercuryenduetheewithleasing，forthouspeakestwelloffools！
　　Re-enterMARIAMARIAMadam，thereisatthegateayounggentlemanmuchdesirestospeakwithyou。OLIVIAFromtheCountOrsino，isit？MARIAIknownot，madam：’tisafairyoungman，andwellattended。OLIVIAWhoofmypeopleholdhimindelay？MARIASirToby，madam，yourkinsman。OLIVIAFetchhimoff，Iprayyou；hespeaksnothingbutmadman：fieonhim！
　　ExitMARIA
　　Goyou，Malvolio：ifitbeasuitfromthecount，I
　　amsick，ornotathome；whatyouwill，todismissit。
　　ExitMALVOLIO
　　Nowyousee，sir，howyourfoolinggrowsold，andpeopledislikeit。ClownThouhastspokeforus，madonna，asifthyeldestsonshouldbeafool；whoseskullJovecramwithbrains！for，——herehecomes，——oneofthykinhasamostweakpiamater。
　　EnterSIRTOBYBELCHOLIVIAByminehonour，halfdrunk。Whatisheatthegate，cousin？SIRTOBYBELCHAgentleman。OLIVIAAgentleman！whatgentleman？SIRTOBYBELCH’Tisagentlemanhere——aplagueo’thesepickle-herring！Hownow，sot！ClownGoodSirToby！OLIVIACousin，cousin，howhaveyoucomesoearlybythislethargy？SIRTOBYBELCHLechery！Idefylechery。There’soneatthegate。OLIVIAAy，marry，whatishe？SIRTOBYBELCHLethimbethedevil，anhewill，Icarenot：givemefaith，sayI。Well，it’sallone。
　　ExitOLIVIAWhat’sadrunkenmanlike，fool？ClownLikeadrownedman，afoolandamadman：onedraughtaboveheatmakeshimafool；thesecondmadshim；andathirddrownshim。OLIVIAGothouandseekthecrowner，andlethimsito’mycoz；forhe’sinthethirddegreeofdrink，he’sdrowned：go，lookafterhim。ClownHeisbutmadyet，madonna；andthefoolshalllooktothemadman。
　　ExitRe-enterMALVOLIOMALVOLIOMadam，yondyoungfellowswearshewillspeakwithyou。Itoldhimyouweresick；hetakesonhimtounderstandsomuch，andthereforecomestospeakwithyou。Itoldhimyouwereasleep；heseemstohaveaforeknowledgeofthattoo，andthereforecomestospeakwithyou。Whatistobesaidtohim，lady？he’sfortifiedagainstanydenial。OLIVIATellhimheshallnotspeakwithme。MALVOLIOHasbeentoldso；andhesays，he’llstandatyourdoorlikeasheriff’spost，andbethesupportertoabench，buthe’llspeakwithyou。OLIVIAWhatkindo’manishe？MALVOLIOWhy，ofmankind。OLIVIAWhatmannerofman？MALVOLIOOfveryillmanner；he’llspeakwithyou，willyouorno。OLIVIAOfwhatpersonageandyearsishe？MALVOLIONotyetoldenoughforaman，noryoungenoughforaboy；asasquashisbefore’tisapeascod，oracoolingwhen’tisalmostanapple：’tiswithhiminstandingwater，betweenboyandman。Heisverywell-favouredandhespeaksveryshrewishly；
　　onewouldthinkhismother’smilkwerescarceoutofhim。OLIVIALethimapproach：callinmygentlewoman。MALVOLIOGentlewoman，myladycalls。
　　ExitRe-enterMARIAOLIVIAGivememyveil：come，throwito’ermyface。
　　We’lloncemorehearOrsino’sembassy。
　　EnterVIOLA，andAttendantsVIOLAThehonourableladyofthehouse，whichisshe？OLIVIASpeaktome；Ishallanswerforher。
　　Yourwill？VIOLAMostradiant，exquisiteandunmatchablebeauty，——I
　　prayyou，tellmeifthisbetheladyofthehouse，forIneversawher：Iwouldbeloathtocastawaymyspeech，forbesidesthatitisexcellentlywellpenned，Ihavetakengreatpainstoconit。Goodbeauties，letmesustainnoscorn；Iamverycomptible，eventotheleastsinisterusage。OLIVIAWhencecameyou，sir？VIOLAIcansaylittlemorethanIhavestudied，andthatquestion’soutofmypart。Goodgentleone，givememodestassuranceifyoubetheladyofthehouse，thatImayproceedinmyspeech。OLIVIAAreyouacomedian？VIOLANo，myprofoundheart：andyet，bytheveryfangsofmaliceIswear，IamnotthatIplay。Areyoutheladyofthehouse？OLIVIAIfIdonotusurpmyself，Iam。VIOLAMostcertain，ifyouareshe，youdousurpyourself；forwhatisyourstobestowisnotyourstoreserve。Butthisisfrommycommission：I
　　willonwithmyspeechinyourpraise，andthenshowyoutheheartofmymessage。OLIVIACometowhatisimportantin’t：Iforgiveyouthepraise。VIOLAAlas，Itookgreatpainstostudyit，and’tispoetical。OLIVIAItisthemoreliketobefeigned：I
　　prayyou，keepitin。Iheardyouweresaucyatmygates，andallowedyourapproachrathertowonderatyouthantohearyou。Ifyoubenotmad，begone；
　　ifyouhavereason，bebrief：’tisnotthattimeofmoonwithmetomakeoneinsoskippingadialogue。MARIAWillyouhoistsail，sir？hereliesyourway。VIOLANo，goodswabber；Iamtohullherealittlelonger。Somemollificationforyourgiant，sweetlady。Tellmeyourmind：Iamamessenger。OLIVIASure，youhavesomehideousmattertodeliver，whenthecourtesyofitissofearful。Speakyouroffice。VIOLAItaloneconcernsyourear。Ibringnoovertureofwar，notaxationofhomage：Iholdtheoliveinmyhand；mywordsareasfunofpeaceasmatter。OLIVIAYetyoubeganrudely。Whatareyou？whatwouldyou？VIOLATherudenessthathathappearedinmehaveI
　　learnedfrommyentertainment。WhatIam，andwhatI
　　would，areassecretasmaidenhead；toyourears，divinity，toanyother’s，profanation。OLIVIAGiveustheplacealone：wewillhearthisdivinity。
　　ExeuntMARIAandAttendantsNow，sir，whatisyourtext？VIOLAMostsweetlady，——OLIVIAAcomfortabledoctrine，andmuchmaybesaidofit。
　　Whereliesyourtext？VIOLAInOrsino’sbosom。OLIVIAInhisbosom！Inwhatchapterofhisbosom？VIOLAToanswerbythemethod，inthefirstofhisheart。OLIVIAO，Ihavereadit：itisheresy。Haveyounomoretosay？VIOLAGoodmadam，letmeseeyourface。OLIVIAHaveyouanycommissionfromyourlordtonegotiatewithmyface？Youarenowoutofyourtext：butwewilldrawthecurtainandshowyouthepicture。
　　Lookyou，sir，suchaoneIwasthispresent：
　　is’tnotwelldone？
　　UnveilingVIOLAExcellentlydone，ifGoddidall。OLIVIA’Tisingrain，sir；’twillendurewindandweather。VIOLA’Tisbeautytrulyblent，whoseredandwhiteNature’sownsweetandcunninghandlaidon：
　　Lady，youarethecruell’stshealive，IfyouwillleadthesegracestothegraveAndleavetheworldnocopy。OLIVIAO，sir，Iwillnotbesohard-hearted；
　　Iwillgiveoutdiversschedulesofmybeauty：itshallbeinventoried，andeveryparticleandutensillabelledtomywill：as，item，twolips，indifferentred；item，twogreyeyes，withlidstothem；item，oneneck，onechin，andsoforth。
　　Wereyousenthithertopraiseme？VIOLAIseeyouwhatyouare，youaretooproud；
　　But，ifyouwerethedevil，youarefair。
　　Mylordandmasterlovesyou：O，suchloveCouldbebutrecompensed，thoughyouwerecrown’dThenonpareilofbeauty！OLIVIAHowdoesheloveme？VIOLAWithadorations，fertiletears，Withgroansthatthunderlove，withsighsoffire。OLIVIAYourlorddoesknowmymind；Icannotlovehim：
　　YetIsupposehimvirtuous，knowhimnoble，Ofgreatestate，offreshandstainlessyouth；
　　Invoiceswelldivulged，free，learn’dandvaliant；
　　AndindimensionandtheshapeofnatureAgraciousperson：butyetIcannotlovehim；
　　Hemighthavetookhisanswerlongago。VIOLAIfIdidloveyouinmymaster’sflame，Withsuchasuffering，suchadeadlylife，InyourdenialIwouldfindnosense；
　　Iwouldnotunderstandit。OLIVIAWhy，whatwouldyou？VIOLAMakemeawillowcabinatyourgate，Andcalluponmysoulwithinthehouse；
　　WriteloyalcantonsofcontemnedloveAndsingthemloudeveninthedeadofnight；
　　HallooyournametothereverberatehillsAndmakethebabblinggossipoftheairCryout’Olivia！’O，YoushouldnotrestBetweentheelementsofairandearth，Butyoushouldpityme！OLIVIAYoumightdomuch。
　　Whatisyourparentage？VIOLAAbovemyfortunes，yetmystateiswell：
　　Iamagentleman。OLIVIAGetyoutoyourlord；
　　Icannotlovehim：lethimsendnomore；
　　Unless，perchance，youcometomeagain，Totellmehowhetakesit。Fareyouwell：
　　Ithankyouforyourpains：spendthisforme。VIOLAIamnofee’dpost，lady；keepyourpurse：
　　Mymaster，notmyself，lacksrecompense。
　　Lovemakehisheartofflintthatyoushalllove；
　　Andletyourfervor，likemymaster’s，bePlacedincontempt！Farewell，faircruelty。
　　ExitOLIVIA’Whatisyourparentage？’
　　’Abovemyfortunes，yetmystateiswell：
　　Iamagentleman。’I’llbeswornthouart；
　　Thytongue，thyface，thylimbs，actionsandspirit，Dogivetheefive-foldblazon：nottoofast：
　　soft，soft！
　　Unlessthemasterweretheman。Hownow！
　　Evensoquicklymayonecatchtheplague？
　　MethinksIfeelthisyouth’sperfectionsWithaninvisibleandsubtlestealthTocreepinatmineeyes。Well，letitbe。
　　Whatho，Malvolio！
　　Re-enterMALVOLIOMALVOLIOHere，madam，atyourservice。OLIVIARunafterthatsamepeevishmessenger，Thecounty’sman：heleftthisringbehindhim，WouldIornot：tellhimI’llnoneofit。
　　Desirehimnottoflatterwithhislord，Norholdhimupwithhopes；Iamnotforhim：
　　Ifthattheyouthwillcomethiswayto-morrow，I’llgivehimreasonsfor’t：hiethee，Malvolio。MALVOLIOMadam，Iwill。
　　ExitOLIVIAIdoIknownotwhat，andfeartofindMineeyetoogreataflattererformymind。
　　Fate，showthyforce：ourselveswedonotowe；
　　Whatisdecreedmustbe，andbethisso。
　　ExitACTIISCENEI。Thesea-coast。EnterANTONIOandSEBASTIANANTONIOWillyoustaynolonger？norwillyounotthatIgowithyou？SEBASTIANByyourpatience，no。Mystarsshinedarklyoverme：themalignancyofmyfatemightperhapsdistemperyours；thereforeIshallcraveofyouyourleavethatImaybearmyevilsalone：itwereabadrecompenseforyourlove，tolayanyofthemonyou。
　　ANTONIO：Letmeyetknowofyouwhitheryouarebound。SEBASTIANNo，sooth，sir：mydeterminatevoyageismereextravagancy。ButIperceiveinyousoexcellentatouchofmodesty，thatyouwillnotextortfrommewhatIamwillingtokeepin；thereforeitchargesmeinmannerstherathertoexpressmyself。Youmustknowofmethen，Antonio，mynameisSebastian，whichIcalledRoderigo。MyfatherwasthatSebastianofMessaline，whomIknowyouhaveheardof。Heleftbehindhimmyselfandasister，bothborninanhour：iftheheavenshadbeenpleased，wouldwehadsoended！butyou，sir，alteredthat；
　　forsomehourbeforeyoutookmefromthebreachoftheseawasmysisterdrowned。ANTONIOAlastheday！SEBASTIANAlady，sir，thoughitwassaidshemuchresembledme，wasyetofmanyaccountedbeautiful：but，thoughIcouldnotwithsuchestimablewonderoverfarbelievethat，yetthusfarIwillboldlypublishher；sheboreamindthatenvycouldnotbutcallfair。Sheisdrownedalready，sir，withsaltwater，thoughIseemtodrownherremembranceagainwithmore。ANTONIOPardonme，sir，yourbadentertainment。SEBASTIANOgoodAntonio，forgivemeyourtrouble。ANTONIOIfyouwillnotmurdermeformylove，letmebeyourservant。SEBASTIANIfyouwillnotundowhatyouhavedone，thatis，killhimwhomyouhaverecovered，desireitnot。
　　Fareyewellatonce：mybosomisfullofkindness，andIamyetsonearthemannersofmymother，thatupontheleastoccasionmoremineeyeswilltelltalesofme。IamboundtotheCountOrsino’scourt：farewell。
　　ExitANTONIOThegentlenessofallthegodsgowiththee！
　　IhavemanyenemiesinOrsino’scourt，ElsewouldIveryshortlyseetheethere。
　　But，comewhatmay，Idoadoretheeso，Thatdangershallseemsport，andIwillgo。
　　ExitSCENEII。Astreet。EnterVIOLA，MALVOLIOfollowingMALVOLIOWerenotyouevennowwiththeCountessOlivia？VIOLAEvennow，sir；onamoderatepaceIhavesincearrivedbuthither。MALVOLIOShereturnsthisringtoyou，sir：youmighthavesavedmemypains，tohavetakenitawayyourself。
　　Sheadds，moreover，thatyoushouldputyourlordintoadesperateassuranceshewillnoneofhim：
　　andonethingmore，thatyoubeneversohardytocomeagaininhisaffairs，unlessitbetoreportyourlord’stakingofthis。Receiveitso。VIOLAShetooktheringofme：I’llnoneofit。MALVOLIOCome，sir，youpeevishlythrewittoher；
　　andherwillis，itshouldbesoreturned：ifitbeworthstoopingfor，thereitliesinyoureye；ifnot，beithisthatfindsit。
　　ExitVIOLAIleftnoringwithher：whatmeansthislady？
　　Fortuneforbidmyoutsidehavenotcharm’dher！
　　Shemadegoodviewofme；indeed，somuch，Thatsuremethoughthereyeshadlosthertongue，Forshedidspeakinstartsdistractedly。
　　Shelovesme，sure；thecunningofherpassionInvitesmeinthischurlishmessenger。
　　Noneofmylord’sring！why，hesenthernone。
　　Iamtheman：ifitbeso，as’tis，Poorlady，shewerebetterloveadream。
　　Disguise，Isee，thouartawickedness，Whereinthepregnantenemydoesmuch。
　　Howeasyisitfortheproper-falseInwomen’swaxenheartstosettheirforms！
　　Alas，ourfrailtyisthecause，notwe！
　　Forsuchaswearemadeof，suchwebe。
　　Howwillthisfadge？mymasterlovesherdearly；
　　AndI，poormonster，fondasmuchonhim；
　　Andshe，mistaken，seemstodoteonme。
　　Whatwillbecomeofthis？AsIamman，Mystateisdesperateformymaster’slove；
　　AsIamwoman，——nowalastheday！——
　　WhatthriftlesssighsshallpoorOliviabreathe！
　　Otime！thoumustuntanglethis，notI；
　　Itistoohardaknotformetountie！
　　ExitSCENEIII。OLIVIA’shouse。EnterSIRTOBYBELCHandSIRANDREWSIRTOBYBELCHApproach，SirAndrew：nottobeabedaftermidnightistobeupbetimes；and’diluculosurgere，’thouknow’st，——SIRANDREWNay，mytroth，Iknownot：butIknow，tobeuplateistobeuplate。SIRTOBYBELCHAfalseconclusion：Ihateitasanunfilledcan。
　　Tobeupaftermidnightandtogotobedthen，isearly：sothattogotobedaftermidnightistogotobedbetimes。Doesnotourlifeconsistofthefourelements？SIRANDREWFaith，sotheysay；butIthinkitratherconsistsofeatinganddrinking。SIRTOBYBELCHThou’rtascholar；letusthereforeeatanddrink。
　　Marian，Isay！astoupofwine！
　　EnterClownSIRANDREWHerecomesthefool，i’faith。ClownHownow，myhearts！didyouneverseethepictureof’wethree’？SIRTOBYBELCHWelcome，ass。Nowlet’shaveacatch。SIRANDREWBymytroth，thefoolhasanexcellentbreast。I
　　hadratherthanfortyshillingsIhadsuchaleg，andsosweetabreathtosing，asthefoolhas。
　　Insooth，thouwastinverygraciousfoolinglastnight，whenthouspokestofPigrogromitus，oftheVapianspassingtheequinoctialofQueubus：’twasverygood，i’faith。Isenttheesixpenceforthyleman：hadstit？ClownIdidimpeticosthygratillity；forMalvolio’snoseisnowhipstock：myladyhasawhitehand，andtheMyrmidonsarenobottle-alehouses。SIRANDREWExcellent！why，thisisthebestfooling，whenallisdone。Now，asong。SIRTOBYBELCHComeon；thereissixpenceforyou：let’shaveasong。SIRANDREWThere’satestrilofmetoo：ifoneknightgivea——ClownWouldyouhavealove-song，orasongofgoodlife？SIRTOBYBELCHAlove-song，alove-song。SIRANDREWAy，ay：Icarenotforgoodlife。Clown[Sings]
　　Omistressmine，whereareyouroaming？
　　O，stayandhear；yourtruelove’scoming，Thatcansingbothhighandlow：
　　Tripnofurther，prettysweeting；
　　Journeysendinloversmeeting，Everywiseman’ssondothknow。SIRANDREWExcellentgood，i’faith。SIRTOBYBELCHGood，good。Clown[Sings]
　　Whatislove？’tisnothereafter；
　　Presentmirthhathpresentlaughter；
　　What’stocomeisstillunsure：
　　Indelaythereliesnoplenty；
　　Thencomekissme，sweetandtwenty，Youth’sastuffwillnotendure。SIRANDREWAmellifluousvoice，asIamtrueknight。SIRTOBYBELCHAcontagiousbreath。SIRANDREWVerysweetandcontagious，i’faith。SIRTOBYBELCHTohearbythenose，itisdulcetincontagion。
　　Butshallwemakethewelkindanceindeed？shallwerousethenight-owlinacatchthatwilldrawthreesoulsoutofoneweaver？shallwedothat？SIRANDREWAnyouloveme，let’sdo’t：Iamdogatacatch。ClownBy’rlady，sir，andsomedogswillcatchwell。SIRANDREWMostcertain。Letourcatchbe，’Thouknave。’Clown’Holdthypeace，thouknave，’knight？
　　Ishallbeconstrainedin’ttocalltheeknave，knight。SIRANDREW’TisnotthefirsttimeIhaveconstrainedonetocallmeknave。Begin，fool：itbegins’Holdthypeace。’ClownIshallneverbeginifIholdmypeace。SIRANDREWGood，i’faith。Come，begin。
　　CatchsungEnterMARIAMARIAWhatacaterwaulingdoyoukeephere！
　　IfmyladyhavenotcalledupherstewardMalvolioandbidhimturnyououtofdoors，nevertrustme。SIRTOBYBELCHMylady’saCataian，wearepoliticians，Malvolio’saPeg-a-Ramsey，and’Threemerrymenbewe。’AmnotIconsanguineous？amInotofherblood？
　　Tillyvally。Lady！
　　Sings’TheredweltamaninBabylon，lady，lady！’ClownBeshrewme，theknight’sinadmirablefooling。SIRANDREWAy，hedoeswellenoughifhebedisposed，andsodoItoo：hedoesitwithabettergrace，butIdoitmorenatural。SIRTOBYBELCH[Sings]’O，thetwelfthdayofDecember，’——MARIAFortheloveo’God，peace！
　　EnterMALVOLIOMALVOLIOMymasters，areyoumad？orwhatareyou？
　　Haveyenowit，manners，norhonesty，buttogabbleliketinkersatthistimeofnight？Doyemakeanalehouseofmylady’shouse，thatyesqueakoutyourcoziers’catcheswithoutanymitigationorremorseofvoice？Istherenorespectofplace，persons，nortimeinyou？SIRTOBYBELCHWedidkeeptime，sir，inourcatches。
　　Sneckup！MALVOLIOSirToby，Imustberoundwithyou。Myladybademetellyou，that，thoughsheharboursyouasherkinsman，she’snothingalliedtoyourdisorders。
　　Ifyoucanseparateyourselfandyourmisdemeanors，youarewelcometothehouse；ifnot，anitwouldpleaseyoutotakeleaveofher，sheisverywillingtobidyoufarewell。SIRTOBYBELCH’Farewell，dearheart，sinceImustneedsbegone。’MARIANay，goodSirToby。Clown’Hiseyesdoshowhisdaysarealmostdone。’MALVOLIOIs’tevenso？SIRTOBYBELCH’ButIwillneverdie。’ClownSirToby，thereyoulie。MALVOLIOThisismuchcredittoyou。SIRTOBYBELCH’ShallIbidhimgo？’Clown’Whatanifyoudo？’SIRTOBYBELCH’ShallIbidhimgo，andsparenot？’Clown’Ono，no，no，no，youdarenot。’SIRTOBYBELCHOuto’tune，sir：yelie。Artanymorethanasteward？Dostthouthink，becausethouartvirtuous，thereshallbenomorecakesandale？ClownYes，bySaintAnne，andgingershallbehoti’themouthtoo。SIRTOBYBELCHThou’rti’theright。Go，sir，rubyourchainwithcrumbs。Astoupofwine，Maria！MALVOLIOMistressMary，ifyouprizedmylady’sfavouratanythingmorethancontempt，youwouldnotgivemeansforthisuncivilrule：sheshallknowofit，bythishand。