THEFIRST-CLASSPASSENGER
　　AFIRST-CLASSpassengerwhohadjustdinedatthestationanddrunkalittletoomuchlaydownonthevelvet-coveredseat，stretchedhimselfoutluxuriously，andsankintoadoze。Afteranapofnomorethanfiveminutes，helookedwithoilyeyesathis_vis-a-vis，_gaveasmirk，andsaid：
　　"Myfatherofblessedmemoryusedtoliketohavehisheelstickledbypeasantwomenafterdinner。Iamjustlikehim，withthisdifference，thatafterdinnerIalwayslikemytongueandmybrainsgentlystimulated。SinfulmanasIam，Ilikeemptytalkonafullstomach。Willyouallowmetohaveachatwithyou？"
　　"Ishallbedelighted，"answeredthe_vis-a-vis。_
　　"Afteragooddinnerthemosttriflingsubjectissufficienttoarousedevilishlygreatthoughtsinmybrain。Forinstance，wesawjustnowneartherefreshmentbartwoyoungmen，andyouheardonecongratulatetheotheronbeingcelebrated。’I
　　congratulateyou，’hesaid；’youarealreadyacelebrityandarebeginningtowinfame。’Evidentlyactorsorjournalistsofmicroscopicdimensions。Buttheyarenotthepoint。Thequestionthatisoccupyingmymindatthemoment，sir，isexactlywhatistobeunderstoodbytheword_fame_or_charity_。Whatdoyouthink？Pushkincalledfameabrightpatchonaraggedgarment；weallunderstanditasPushkindoes——thatis，moreorlesssubjectively——butnoonehasyetgivenaclear，logicaldefinitionoftheword……Iwouldgiveagooddealforsuchadefinition！"
　　"Whydoyoufeelsuchaneedforit？"
　　"Yousee，ifweknewwhatfameis，themeansofattainingitmightalsoperhapsbeknowntous，"saidthefirst-classpassenger，afteramoment’sthought。Imusttellyou，sir，thatwhenIwasyoungerIstroveaftercelebritywitheveryfiberofmybeing。Tobepopularwasmycraze，sotospeak。ForthesakeofitIstudied，worked，satupatnight，neglectedmymeals。AndI
　　fancy，asfarasIcanjudgewithoutpartiality，Ihadallthenaturalgiftsforattainingit。Tobeginwith，Iamanengineerbyprofession。InthecourseofmylifeIhavebuiltinRussiasometwodozenmagnificentbridges，Ihavelaidaqueductsforthreetowns；IhaveworkedinRussia，inEngland，inBelgium……Secondly，Iamtheauthorofseveralspecialtreatisesinmyownline。Andthirdly，mydearsir，Ihavefromaboyhadaweaknessforchemistry。Studyingthatscienceinmyleisurehours，Idiscoveredmethodsofobtainingcertainorganicacids，sothatyouwillfindmynameinalltheforeignmanualsofchemistry。Ihavealwaysbeenintheservice，Ihaverisentothegradeofactualcivilcouncilor，andIhaveanunblemishedrecord。Iwillnotfatigueyourattentionbyenumeratingmyworksandmymerits，IwillonlysaythatIhavedonefarmorethansomecelebrities。AndyethereIaminmyoldage，Iamgettingreadyformycoffin，sotosay，andIamascelebratedasthatblackdogyonderrunningontheembankment。"
　　"Howcanyoutell？Perhapsyouarecelebrated。"
　　"H’m！Well，wewilltestitatonce。Tellme，haveyoueverheardthenameKrikunov？"
　　The_vis-a-vis_raisedhiseyestotheceiling，thoughtaminute，andlaughed。
　　"No，Ihaven’theardit，……"hesaid。
　　"Thatismysurname。You，amanofeducation，gettingoninyears，haveneverheardofme——aconvincingproof！ItisevidentthatinmyeffortstogainfameIhavenotdonetherightthingatall：Ididnotknowtherightwaytosettowork，and，tryingtocatchfamebythetail，gotonthewrongsideofher。"
　　"Whatistherightwaytosettowork？"
　　"Well，thedevilonlyknows！Talent，yousay？Genius？
　　Originality？Notabitofit，sir！……Peoplehavelivedandmadeacareersidebysidewithmewhowereworthless，trivial，andevencontemptiblecomparedwithme。Theydidnotdoone-tenthoftheworkIdid，didnotputthemselvesout，werenotdistinguishedfortheirtalents，anddidnotmakeanefforttobecelebrated，butjustlookatthem！Theirnamesarecontinuallyinthenewspapersandonmen’slips！IfyouarenottiredoflisteningIwillillustrateitbyanexample。SomeyearsagoI
　　builtabridgeinthetownofK。Imusttellyouthatthedullnessofthatscurvylittletownwasterrible。IfithadnotbeenforwomenandcardsIbelieveIshouldhavegoneoutofmymind。Well，it’sanoldstory：IwassoboredthatIgotintoanaffairwithasinger。Everyonewasenthusiasticabouther，thedevilonlyknowswhy；tomythinkingshewas——whatshallIsay？
　　——anordinary，commonplacecreature，likelotsofothers。Thehussywasempty-headed，ill-tempered，greedy，andwhat’smore，shewasafool。
　　"Sheateanddrankavastamount，slepttillfiveoclockintheafternoon——andIfancydidnothingelse。Shewaslookeduponasacocotte，andthatwasindeedherprofession；butwhenpeoplewantedtorefertoherinaliteraryfashion，theycalledheranactressandasinger。Iusedtobedevotedtothetheatre，andthereforethisfraudulentpretenseofbeinganactressmademefuriouslyindignant。Myyoungladyhadnottheslightestrighttocallherselfanactressorasinger。Shewasacreatureentirelydevoidoftalent，devoidoffeeling——apitifulcreatureonemaysay。AsfarasIcanjudgeshesangdisgustingly。Thewholecharmofher’art’layinherkickingupherlegsoneverysuitableoccasion，andnotbeingembarrassedwhenpeoplewalkedintoherdressing-room。Sheusuallyselectedtranslatedvaudevilles，withsinginginthem，andopportunitiesfordisportingherselfinmaleattire，intights。Infactitwas——ough！Well，Iaskyourattention。AsIremembernow，apublicceremonytookplacetocelebratetheopeningofthenewlyconstructedbridge。Therewasareligiousservice，therewerespeeches，telegrams，andsoon。I
　　hungaboutmycherishedcreation，youknow，allthewhileafraidthatmyheartwouldburstwiththeexcitementofanauthor。Itsanoldstoryandthere’snoneedforfalsemodesty，andsoIwilltellyouthatmybridgewasamagnificentwork！Itwasnotabridgebutapicture，aperfectdelight！Andwhowouldnothavebeenexcitedwhenthewholetowncametotheopening？’Oh，’I
　　thought，’nowtheeyesofallthepublicwillbeonme！WhereshallIhidemyself？’Well，Ineednothaveworriedmyself，sir——alas！Excepttheofficialpersonages，noonetooktheslightestnoticeofme。Theystoodinacrowdontheriver-bank，gazedlikesheepatthebridge，anddidnotconcernthemselvestoknowwhohadbuiltit。Anditwasfromthattime，bytheway，thatIbegantohateourestimablepublic——damnationtakethem！Well，tocontinue。Allatoncethepublicbecameagitated；
　　awhisperranthroughthecrowd，……asmilecameontheirfaces，theirshouldersbegantomove。’Theymusthaveseenme，’I
　　thought。Alikelyidea！Ilooked，andmysinger，withatrainofyoungscamps，wasmakingherwaythroughthecrowd。Theeyesofthecrowdwerehurriedlyfollowingthisprocession。Awhisperbeganinathousandvoices：’That’sso-and-so……Charming！
　　Bewitching！’Thenitwastheynoticedme……Acoupleofyoungmilksops，localamateursofthescenicart，Ipresume，lookedatme，exchangedglances，andwhispered：’That’sherlover！’Howdoyoulikethat？Andanunprepossessingindividualinatop-hat，withachinthatbadlyneededshaving，hungroundme，shiftingfromonefoottotheother，thenturnedtomewiththewords：
　　"’Doyouknowwhothatladyis，walkingontheotherbank？That’sso-and-so……Hervoiceisbeneathallcriticism，butshehasamostperfectmasteryofit！……’
　　"’Canyoutellme，’Iaskedtheunprepossessingindividual，’whobuiltthisbridge？’
　　"’Ireallydon’tknow，’answeredtheindividual；someengineer，Iexpect。’
　　"’Andwhobuiltthecathedralinyourtown？’Iaskedagain。
　　"’Ireallycan’ttellyou。’
　　"ThenIaskedhimwhowasconsideredthebestteacherinK。，whothebestarchitect，andtoallmyquestionstheunprepossessingindividualansweredthathedidnotknow。
　　"’Andtellme，please，’Iaskedinconclusion，withwhomisthatsingerliving？’
　　"’WithsomeengineercalledKrikunov。’
　　"Well，howdoyoulikethat，sir？Buttoproceed。Therearenominnesingersorbardsnowadays，andcelebrityiscreatedalmostexclusivelybythenewspapers。Thedayafterthededicationofthebridge，Igreedilysnatchedupthelocal_Messenger，_andlookedformyselfinit。Ispentalongtimerunningmyeyesoverallthefourpages，andatlastthereitwas——hurrah！Ibeganreading：’Yesterdayinbeautifulweather，beforeavastconcourseofpeople，inthepresenceofHisExcellencytheGovernoroftheprovince，so-and-so，andotherdignitaries，theceremonyofthededicationofthenewlyconstructedbridgetookplace，’andsoon……Towardstheend：Ourtalentedactressso-and-so，thefavoriteoftheK。public，waspresentatthededicationlookingverybeautiful。Ineednotsaythatherarrivalcreatedasensation。Thestarwaswearing……’andsoon。Theymighthavegivenmeoneword！Halfaword。Pettyasitseems，Iactuallycriedwithvexation！
　　"Iconsoledmyselfwiththereflectionthattheprovincesarestupid，andonecouldexpectnothingofthemandforcelebrityonemustgototheintellectualcenters——toPetersburgandtoMoscow。Andasithappened，atthatverytimetherewasaworkofmineinPetersburgwhichIhadsentinforacompetition。Thedateonwhichtheresultwastobedeclaredwasathand。
　　"ItookleaveofK。andwenttoPetersburg。ItisalongjourneyfromK。toPetersburg，andthatImightnotbeboredonthejourneyItookareservedcompartmentand——well——ofcourse，I
　　tookmysinger。Wesetoff，andallthewaywewereeating，drinkingchampagne，and——tra-la——la！Butbehold，atlastwereachtheintellectualcenter。Iarrivedontheverydaytheresultwasdeclared，andhadthesatisfaction，mydearsir，ofcelebratingmyownsuccess：myworkreceivedthefirstprize。
　　Hurrah！NextdayIwentoutalongtheNevskyandspentseventykopecksonvariousnewspapers。Ihastenedtomyhotelroom，laydownonthesofa，and，controllingaquiverofexcitement，madehastetoread。Iranthroughonenewspaper——nothing。Iranthroughasecond——nothingeither；myGod！Atlast，inthefourth，Ilighteduponthefollowingparagraph：’Yesterdaythewell-knownprovincialactressso-and-soarrivedbyexpressinPetersburg。WenotewithpleasurethattheclimateoftheSouthhashadabeneficialeffectonourfairfriend；hercharmingstageappearance……’andIdon’tremembertherest！MuchlowerdownthanthatparagraphIfound，printedinthesmallesttype：
　　firstprizeinthecompetitionwasadjudgedtoanengineercalledso-and-so。’Thatwasall！Andtomakethingsbetter，theyevenmisspeltmyname：insteadofKrikunovitwasKirkutlov。Somuchforyourintellectualcenter！Butthatwasnotall……BythetimeIleftPetersburg，amonthlater，allthenewspaperswerevyingwithoneanotherindiscussingourincomparable，divine，highlytalentedactress，andmymistresswasreferredto，notbyhersurname，butbyherChristiannameandherfather’s……
　　"SomeyearslaterIwasinMoscow。Iwassummonedtherebyaletter，inthemayor’sownhandwriting，toundertakeaworkforwhichMoscow，initsnewspapers，hadbeenclamoringforoverahundredyears。IntheintervalsofmyworkIdeliveredfivepubliclectures，withaphilanthropicobject，inoneofthemuseumsthere。Onewouldhavethoughtthatwasenoughtomakeoneknowntothewholetownforthreedaysatleast，wouldn’tone？
　　But，alas！notasingleMoscowgazettesaidawordaboutmeTherewassomethingabouthousesonfire，aboutanoperetta，sleepingtowncouncilors，drunkenshopkeepers——abouteverything；butaboutmywork，myplans，mylectures——mum。AndanicesettheyareinMoscow！Igotintoatram……Itwaspackedfull；therewereladiesandmilitarymenandstudentsofbothsexes，creaturesofallsortsincouples。
　　"’Iamtoldthetowncouncilhassentforanengineertoplansuchandsuchawork！’Isaidtomyneighbor，soloudlythatallthetramcouldhear。’Doyouknowthenameoftheengineer？’
　　"Myneighborshookhishead。Therestofthepublictookacursoryglanceatme，andinalltheireyesIread：’Idon’tknow。’
　　"’Iamtoldthatthereissomeonegivinglecturesinsuchandsuchamuseum？’Ipersisted，tryingtogetupaconversation。’I
　　hearitisinteresting。’
　　"Nooneevennodded。Evidentlytheyhadnotallofthemheardofthelectures，andtheladieswerenotevenawareoftheexistenceofthemuseum。Allthatwouldnothavemattered，butimagine，mydearsir，thepeoplesuddenlyleapedtotheirfeetandstruggledtothewindows。Whatwasit？Whatwasthematter？
　　"’Look，look！’myneighbornudgedme。’Doyouseethatdarkmangettingintothatcab？That’sthefamousrunner，King！’
　　"AndthewholetrambegantalkingbreathlesslyoftherunnerwhowasthenabsorbingthebrainsofMoscow。
　　"Icouldgiveyoueversomanyotherexamples，butIthinkthatisenough。NowletusassumethatIammistakenaboutmyself，thatIamawretchedlyboastfulandincompetentperson；butapartfrommyselfImightpointtomanyofmycontemporaries，menremarkablefortheirtalentandindustry，whohaveneverthelessdiedunrecognized。AreRussiannavigators，chemists，physicists，mechanicians，andagriculturistspopularwiththepublic？DoourcultivatedmassesknowanythingofRussianartists，sculptors，andliterarymen？Someoldliteraryhack，hard-workingandtalented，willwearawaythedoorstepofthepublishers’officesforthirty-threeyears，coverreamsofpaper，behadupforlibeltwentytimes，andyetnotstepbeyondhisant-heap。Canyoumentiontomeasinglerepresentativeofourliteraturewhowouldhavebecomecelebratediftherumorhadnotbeenspreadovertheearththathehadbeenkilledinaduel，goneoutofhismind，beensentintoexile，orhadcheatedatcards？"
　　Thefirst-classpassengerwassoexcitedthathedroppedhiscigaroutofhismouthandgotup。
　　"Yes，"hewentonfiercely，"andsidebysidewiththesepeopleI
　　canquoteyouhundredsofallsortsofsingers，acrobats，buffoons，whosenamesareknowntoeverybaby。Yes！"
　　Thedoorcreaked，therewasadraught，andanindividualofforbiddingaspect，wearinganInvernesscoat，atop-hat，andbluespectacles，walkedintothecarriage。Theindividuallookedroundattheseats，frowned，andwentonfurther。
　　"Doyouknowwhothatis？"therecameatimidwhisperfromthefurthestcornerofthecompartment。
　　ThatisN。N。，thefamousTulacardsharperwhowashadupinconnectionwiththeY。bankaffair。"
　　"Thereyouare！"laughedthefirst-classpassenger。HeknowsaTulacardsharper，butaskhimwhetherheknowsSemiradsky，Tchaykovsky，orSolovyovthephilosopher——he’llshakehishead……Itswinish！"
　　Threeminutespassedinsilence。
　　"Allowmeinmyturntoaskyouaquestion，"saidthe_vis-a-vis_
　　timidly，clearinghisthroat。DoyouknowthenameofPushkov？"
　　"Pushkov？H’m！Pushkov……No，Idon’tknowit！"
　　"Thatismyname，……"saidthe_vis-a-vis，_，overcomewithembarrassment。"Thenyoudon’tknowit？AndyetIhavebeenaprofessoratoneoftheRussianuniversitiesforthirty-fiveyears，……amemberoftheAcademyofSciences，……havepublishedmorethanonework……"
　　Thefirst-classpassengerandthe_vis-a-vis_lookedateachotherandburstoutlaughing。
　　ATRAGICACTOR
　　ITwasthebenefitnightofFenogenov，thetragicactor。Theywereacting"PrinceSerebryany。"ThetragedianhimselfwasplayingVyazemsky；Limonadov，thestagemanager，wasplayingMorozov；MadameBeobahtov，Elena。Theperformancewasagrandsuccess。Thetragedianaccomplishedwondersindeed。WhenhewascarryingoffElena，heheldherinonehandabovehisheadashedashedacrossthestage。Heshouted，hissed，bangedwithhisfeet，torehiscoatacrosshischest。WhenherefusedtofightMorozov，hetrembledalloverasnobodyevertremblesinreality，andgaspedloudly。Thetheatreshookwithapplause。Therewereendlesscalls。Fenogenovwaspresentedwithasilvercigarette-caseandabouquettiedwithlongribbons。Theladieswavedtheirhandkerchiefsandurgedtheirmentoapplaud，manyshedtears……ButtheonewhowasthemostenthusiasticandmostexcitedwasMasha，daughterofSidoretskythepolicecaptain。Shewassittinginthefirstrowofthestallsbesideherpapa；shewasecstaticandcouldnottakehereyesoffthestageevenbetweentheacts。Herdelicatelittlehandsandfeetwerequivering，hereyeswerefulloftears，hercheeksturnedpalerandpaler。Andnowonder——shewasatthetheatreforthefirsttimeinherlife。
　　"Howwelltheyact！howsplendidly！"shesaidtoherpapathepolicecaptain，everytimethecurtainfell。HowgoodFenogenovis！"
　　Andifherpapahadbeencapableofreadingfaceshewouldhavereadonhisdaughter’spalelittlecountenancearapturethatwasalmostanguish。Shewasovercomebytheacting，bytheplay，bythesurroundings。Whentheregimentalbandbeganplayingbetweentheacts，sheclosedhereyes，exhausted。
　　"Papa！"shesaidtothepolicecaptainduringthelastinterval，"gobehindthescenesandaskthemalltodinnerto-morrow！"
　　Thepolicecaptainwentbehindthescenes，praisedthemforalltheirfineacting，andcomplimentedMadameBeobahtov。
　　"Yourlovelyfacedemandsacanvas，andIonlywishIcouldwieldthebrush！"
　　Andwithascrape，hethereuponinvitedthecompanytodinner。
　　"Allexceptthefairsex，"hewhispered。"Idon’twanttheactresses，forIhaveadaughter。"
　　Nextdaytheactorsdinedatthepolicecaptain’s。Onlythreeturnedup，themanagerLimonadov，thetragedianFenogenov，andthecomicmanVodolazov；theotherssentexcuses。Thedinnerwasadullaffair。Limonadovkepttellingthepolicecaptainhowmuchherespectedhim，andhowhighlyhethoughtofallpersonsinauthority；VodolazovmimickeddrunkenmerchantsandArmenians；
　　andFenogenov（onhispassporthisnamewasKnish），atall，stoutLittleRussianwithblackeyesandfrowningbrow，declaimed"Attheportalsofthegreat，"and"Tobeornottobe。"Limonadov，withtearsinhiseyes，describedhisinterviewwiththeformerGovernor，GeneralKanyutchin。Thepolicecaptainlistened，wasbored，andsmiledaffably。Hewaswellsatisfied，althoughLimonadovsmeltstronglyofburntfeathers，andFenogenovwaswearingahireddresscoatandbootstroddendownatheel。Theypleasedhisdaughterandmadeherlively，andthatwasenoughforhim。AndMashanevertookhereyesofftheactors。Shehadneverbeforeseensuchclever，exceptionalpeople！
　　IntheeveningthepolicecaptainandMashawereatthetheatreagain。Aweeklatertheactorsdinedatthepolicecaptain’sagain，andafterthatcamealmosteverydayeithertodinnerorsupper。Mashabecamemoreandmoredevotedtothetheatre，andwentthereeveryevening。
　　Shefellinlovewiththetragedian。Onefinemorning，whenthepolicecaptainhadgonetomeetthebishop，MasharanawaywithLimonadov’scompanyandmarriedherheroontheway。Aftercelebratingthewedding，theactorscomposedalongandtouchingletterandsentittothepolicecaptain。
　　Itwastheworkoftheircombinedefforts。
　　"Bringoutthemotive，themotive！"Limonadovkeptsayingashedictatedtothecomicman。"Layontherespect……Theseofficialchapslikeit。Addsomethingofasort……todrawatear。"
　　Theanswertothisletterwasmostdiscomforting。Thepolicecaptaindisownedhisdaughterformarrying，ashesaid，"astupid，idleLittleRussianwithnofixedhomeoroccupation。"
　　AndthedayafterthisanswerwasreceivedMashawaswritingtoherfather。
　　"Papa，hebeatsme！Forgiveus！"
　　Hehadbeatenher，beatenherbehindthescenes，inthepresenceofLimonadov，thewasherwoman，andtwolightingmen。Herememberedhow，fourdaysbeforethewedding，hewassittingintheLondonTavernwiththewholecompany，andallweretalkingaboutMasha。Thecompanywereadvisinghimto"chanceit，"andLimonadov，withtearsinhiseyesurged："Itwouldbestupidandirrationaltoletslipsuchanopportunity！Why，forasumlikethatonewouldgotoSiberia，letalonegettingmarried！Whenyoumarryandhaveatheatreofyourown，takemeintoyourcompany。Ishan’tbemasterthen，you’llbemaster。"
　　Fenogenovrememberedit，andmutteredwithclenchedfists：
　　"Ifhedoesn’tsendmoneyI’llsmashher！Iwon’tletmyselfbemadeafoolof，damnmysoul！"
　　AtoneprovincialtownthecompanytriedtogiveMashatheslip，butMashafoundout，rantothestation，andgottherewhenthesecondbellhadrungandtheactorshadalltakentheirseats。
　　"I’vebeenshamefullytreatedbyyourfather，"saidthetragedian；"allisoverbetweenus！"
　　Andthoughthecarriagewasfullofpeople，shewentdownonherkneesandheldoutherhands，imploringhim：
　　"Iloveyou！Don’tdrivemeaway，KondratyIvanovitch，"shebesoughthim。"Ican’tlivewithoutyou！"
　　Theylistenedtoherentreaties，andafterconsultingtogether，tookherintothecompanyasa"countess"——thenametheyusedfortheminoractresseswhousuallycameontothestageincrowdsorindumbparts。TobeginwithMashausedtoplaymaid-servantsandpages，butwhenMadameBeobahtov，theflowerofLimonadov’scompany，eloped，theymadeher_ingenue_。Sheactedbadly，lisped，andwasnervous。Shesoongrewusedtoit，however，andbegantobelikedbytheaudience。Fenogenovwasmuchdispleased。
　　"Tocallheranactress！"heusedtosay。"Shehasnofigure，nodeportment，nothingwhateverbutsilliness。"
　　InoneprovincialtownthecompanyactedSchiller’s"Robbers。"
　　FenogenovplayedFranz，Masha，Amalie。Thetragedianshoutedandquivered。Masharepeatedherpartlikeawell-learntlesson，andtheplaywouldhavegoneoffastheygenerallydidhaditnotbeenforatriflingmishap。EverythingwentwelluptothepointwhereFranzdeclareshisloveforAmalieandsheseizeshissword。Thetragedianshouted，hissed，quivered，andsqueezedMashainhisironembrace。AndMasha，insteadofrepulsinghimandcrying"Hence！"trembledinhisarmslikeabirdanddidnotmove，……sheseemedpetrified。
　　"Havepityonme！"shewhisperedinhisear。"Oh，havepityonme！Iamsomiserable！"
　　"Youdon’tknowyourpart！Listentotheprompter！"hissedthetragedian，andhethrusthisswordintoherhand。
　　Aftertheperformance，LimonadovandFenogenovweresittingintheticketbox-officeengagedinconversation。
　　"Yourwifedoesnotlearnherpart，youarerightthere，"themanagerwassaying。"Shedoesn’tknowherline……Everymanhashisownline，……butshedoesn’tknowhers……"
　　Fenogenovlistened，sighed，andscowledandscowled。
　　Nextmorning，Mashawassittinginalittlegeneralshopwriting：
　　"Papa，hebeatsme！Forgiveus！Sendussomemoney！"
　　ATRANSGRESSION
　　ACOLLEGIATEassessorcalledMiguevstoppedatatelegraph-postinthecourseofhiseveningwalkandheavedadeepsigh。Aweekbefore，ashewasreturninghomefromhiseveningwalk，hehadbeenovertakenatthatveryspotbyhisformerhousemaid，Agnia，whosaidtohimviciously：
　　"Waitabit！I’llcookyousuchacrabthat’llteachyoutoruininnocentgirls！I’llleavethebabyatyourdoor，andI’llhavethelawofyou，andI’lltellyourwife，too……"
　　Andshedemandedthatheshouldputfivethousandroublesintothebankinhername。Miguevrememberedit，heavedasigh，andoncemorereproachedhimselfwithheartfeltrepentanceforthemomentaryinfatuationwhichhadcausedhimsomuchworryandmisery。
　　Whenhereachedhisbungalow，hesatdowntorestonthedoorstep。Itwasjustteno’clock，andabitofthemoonpeepedoutfrombehindtheclouds。Therewasnotasoulinthestreetnornearthebungalows；elderlysummervisitorswerealreadygoingtobed，whileyoungoneswerewalkinginthewood。Feelinginbothhispocketsforamatchtolighthiscigarette，Miguevbroughthiselbowintocontactwithsomethingsoft。Helookedidlyathisrightelbow，andhisfacewasinstantlycontortedbyalookofasmuchhorrorasthoughhehadseenasnakebesidehim。Onthestepattheverydoorlayabundle。Somethingoblonginshapewaswrappedupinsomething——judgingbythefeelofit，awaddedquilt。Oneendofthebundlewasalittleopen，andthecollegiateassessor，puttinginhishand，feltsomethingdampandwarm。Heleapedontohisfeetinhorror，andlookedabouthimlikeacriminaltryingtoescapefromhiswarders……
　　"Shehasleftit！"hemutteredwrathfullythroughhisteeth，clenchinghisfists。"Hereitlies……Hereliesmytransgression！OLord！"
　　Hewasnumbwithterror，anger，andshame……Whatwashetodonow？Whatwouldhiswifesayifshefoundout？Whatwouldhiscolleaguesattheofficesay？HisExcellencywouldbesuretodighimintheribs，guffaw，andsay："Icongratulateyou！……
　　He-he-he！Thoughyourbeardisgray，yourheartisgay……Youarearogue，SemyonErastovitch！"Thewholecolonyofsummervisitorswouldknowhissecretnow，andprobablytherespectablemothersoffamilieswouldshuttheirdoorstohim。
　　Suchincidentsalwaysgetintothepapers，andthehumblenameofMiguevwouldbepublishedalloverRussia……
　　Themiddlewindowofthebungalowwasopenandhecoulddistinctlyhearhiswife，AnnaFilippovna，layingthetableforsupper；intheyardclosetothegateYermolay，theporter，wasplaintivelystrummingonthebalalaika。Thebabyhadonlytowakeupandbegintocry，andthesecretwouldbediscovered。Miguevwasconsciousofanoverwhelmingdesiretomakehaste。
　　"Haste，haste！……"hemuttered，"thisminute，beforeanyonesees。I’llcarryitawayandlayitonsomebody’sdoorstep……"
　　Miguevtookthebundleinonehandandquietly，withadeliberatesteptoavoidawakeningsuspicion，wentdownthestreet……
　　"Awonderfullynastyposition！"hereflected，tryingtoassumeanairofunconcern。"Acollegiateassessorwalkingdownthestreetwithababy！Goodheavens！ifanyoneseesmeandunderstandstheposition，Iamdonefor……I’dbetterputitonthisdoorstep……No，stay，thewindowsareopenandperhapssomeoneislooking。WhereshallIputit？Iknow！I’lltakeittothemerchantMyelkin’s……Merchantsarerichpeopleandtenderhearted；verylikelytheywillsaythankyouandadoptit。"
　　AndMiguevmadeuphismindtotakethebabytoMyelkin’s，althoughthemerchant’svillawasinthefurtheststreet，closetotheriver。
　　"Ifonlyitdoesnotbeginscreamingorwriggleoutofthebundle，"thoughtthecollegiateassessor。"Thisisindeedapleasantsurprise！HereIamcarryingahumanbeingundermyarmasthoughitwereaportfolio。Ahumanbeing，alive，withsoul，withfeelingslikeanyoneelse……IfbygoodlucktheMyelkinsadopthim，hemayturnoutsomebody……Maybehewillbecomeaprofessor，agreatgeneral，anauthor……Anythingmayhappen！NowIamcarryinghimundermyarmlikeabundleofrubbish，andperhapsinthirtyorfortyyearsImaynotdaretositdowninhispresence……
　　AsMiguevwaswalkingalonganarrow，desertedalley，besidealongrowoffences，inthethickblackshadeofthelimetrees，itsuddenlystruckhimthathewasdoingsomethingverycruelandcriminal。
　　"Howmeanitisreally！"hethought。"Someanthatonecan’timagineanythingmeaner……Whyareweshiftingthispoorbabyfromdoortodoor？It’snotitsfaultthatit’sbeenborn。It’sdoneusnoharm。Wearescoundrels……Wetakeourpleasure，andtheinnocentbabieshavetopaythepenalty。Onlytothinkofallthiswretchedbusiness！
　　I’vedonewrongandthechildhasacruelfatebeforeit。IfI
　　layitattheMyelkins’door，they’llsendittothefoundlinghospital，andthereitwillgrowupamongstrangers，inmechanicalroutine，……nolove，nopetting，nospoiling……
　　Andthenhe’llbeapprenticedtoashoemaker，……he’lltaketodrink，willlearntousefilthylanguage，willgohungry。A
　　shoemaker！andhethesonofacollegiateassessor，ofgoodfamily……Heismyfleshandblood，……"
　　Miguevcameoutoftheshadeofthelimetreesintothebrightmoonlightoftheopenroad，andopeningthebundle，helookedatthebaby。
　　"Asleep！"hemurmured。"Youlittlerascal！why，you’veanaquilinenoselikeyourfather’s……Hesleepsanddoesn’tfeelthatit’shisownfatherlookingathim！……It’sadrama，myboy……Well，well，youmustforgiveme。Forgiveme，oldboy……Itseemsit’syourfate……"
　　Thecollegiateassessorblinkedandfeltaspasmrunningdownhischeeks……Hewrappedupthebaby，puthimunderhisarm，andstrodeon。AllthewaytotheMyelkins’villasocialquestionswereswarminginhisbrainandconsciencewasgnawinginhisbosom。
　　"IfIwereadecent，honestman，hethought，"Ishoulddamneverything，gowiththisbabytoAnnaFilippovna，fallonmykneesbeforeher，andsay：’Forgiveme！Ihavesinned！Tortureme，butwewon’truinaninnocentchild。Wehavenochildren；letusadopthim！"She’sagoodsort，she’dconsent……Andthenmychildwouldbewithme……Ech！"
　　HereachedtheMyelkins’villaandstoodstillhesitating。Heimaginedhimselfintheparlorathome，sittingreadingthepaperwhilealittleboywithanaquilinenoseplayedwiththetasselsofhisdressinggown。Atthesametimevisionsforcedthemselvesonhisbrainofhiswinkingcolleagues，andofhisExcellencydigginghimintheribsandguffawing……Besidestheprickingofhisconscience，therewassomethingwarm，sad，andtenderinhisheart……
　　Cautiouslythecollegiateassessorlaidthebabyontheverandahstepandwavedhishand。Againhefeltaspasmrunoverhisface……
　　"Forgiveme，oldfellow！Iamascoundrel，hemuttered。"Don’trememberevilagainstme。"
　　Hesteppedback，butimmediatelyclearedhisthroatresolutelyandsaid：
　　"Oh，comewhatwill！Damnitall！I’lltakehim，andletpeoplesaywhattheylike！"
　　Miguevtookthebabyandstroderapidlyback。
　　"Letthemsaywhattheylike，"hethought。"I’llgoatonce，fallonmyknees，andsay：’AnnaFilippovna！’Annaisagoodsort，she’llunderstand……Andwe’llbringhimup……Ifit’saboywe’llcallhimVladimir，andifit’sagirlwe’llcallherAnna！Anyway，itwillbeacomfortinouroldage。"
　　Andhedidashedetermined。Weepingandalmostfaintwithshameandterror，fullofhopeandvaguerapture，hewentintohisbungalow，wentuptohiswife，andfellonhiskneesbeforeher。
　　"AnnaFilippovna！"hesaidwithasob，andhelaidthebabyonthefloor。"Hearmebeforeyoupunish……Ihavesinned！Thisismychild……YourememberAgnia？Well，itwasthedevildrovemetoit……"
　　And，almostunconsciouswithshameandterror，hejumpedupwithoutwaitingforananswer，andranoutintotheopenairasthoughhehadreceivedathrashing……
　　"I’llstayhereoutsidetillshecallsme，"hethought。"I’llgivehertimetorecover，andtothinkitover……"
　　TheporterYermolaypassedhimwithhisbalalaika，glancedathimandshruggedhisshoulders。Aminutelaterhepassedhimagain，andagainheshruggedhisshoulders。
　　"Here’sago！Didyouever！"hemutteredgrinning。"Aksinya，thewasher-woman，washerejustnow，SemyonErastovitch。Thesillywomanputherbabydownonthestepshere，andwhileshewasindoorswithme，someonetookandcarriedoffthebaby……
　　Who’dhavethoughtit！"
　　"What？Whatareyousaying？"shoutedMiguevatthetopofhisvoice。
　　Yermolay，interpretinghismaster’swrathinhisownfashion，scratchedhisheadandheavedasigh。
　　"Iamsorry，SemyonErastovitch，"hesaid，"butit’sthesummerholidays，……onecan’tgetonwithout……withoutawoman，I
　　mean……"
　　Andglancingathismaster’seyesglaringathimwithangerandastonishment，heclearedhisthroatguiltilyandwenton：
　　"It’sasin，ofcourse，butthere——whatisonetodo？……
　　You’veforbiddenustohavestrangersinthehouse，Iknow，butwe’venoneofourownnow。WhenAgniawashereIhadnowomentoseeme，forIhadoneathome；butnow，youcanseeforyourself，sir，……onecan’thelphavingstrangers。InAgnia’stime，ofcourse，therewasnothingirregular，because……"
　　"Beoff，youscoundrel！"Miguevshoutedathim，stamping，andhewentbackintotheroom。
　　AnnaFilippovna，amazedandwrathful，wassittingasbefore，hertear-stainedeyesfixedonthebaby……
　　"There！there！"Miguevmutteredwithapaleface，twistinghislipsintoasmile。"Itwasajoke……It’snotmybaby，……
　　it’sthewasher-woman’s！……I……Iwasjoking……Takeittotheporter。"
　　SMALLFRY
　　"HONOREDSir，FatherandBenefactor！"apettyclerkcalledNevyrazimovwaswritingaroughcopyofanEastercongratulatoryletter。"ItrustthatyoumayspendthisHolyDayevenasmanymoretocome，ingoodhealthandprosperity。AndtoyourfamilyalsoI……"
　　Thelamp，inwhichthekerosenewasgettinglow，wassmokingandsmelling。AstraycockroachwasrunningaboutthetableinalarmnearNevyrazimov’swritinghand。TworoomsawayfromtheofficeParamontheporterwasforthethirdtimecleaninghisbestboots，andwithsuchenergythatthesoundoftheblacking-brushandofhisexpectorationswasaudibleinalltherooms。
　　"WhatelsecanIwritetohim，therascal？"Nevyrazimovwondered，raisinghiseyestothesmuttyceiling。
　　Ontheceilinghesawadarkcircle——theshadowofthelamp-shade。Belowitwasthedustycornice，andlowerstillthewall，whichhadoncebeenpaintedabluishmuddycolor。Andtheofficeseemedtohimsuchaplaceofdesolationthathefeltsorry，notonlyforhimself，butevenforthecockroach。
　　"WhenIamoffdutyIshallgoaway，buthe’llbeondutyhereallhiscockroach-life，"hethought，stretching。"Iambored！
　　ShallIcleanmyboots？"
　　Andstretchingoncemore，Nevyrazimovslouchedlazilytotheporter’sroom。Paramonhadfinishedcleaninghisboots。Crossinghimselfwithonehandandholdingthebrushintheother，hewasstandingattheopenwindow-pane，listening。
　　"They’reringing，"hewhisperedtoNevyrazimov，lookingathimwitheyesintentandwideopen。"Already！"
　　Nevyrazimovputhiseartotheopenpaneandlistened。TheEasterchimesfloatedintotheroomwithawhiffoffreshspringair。
　　Theboomingofthebellsmingledwiththerumbleofcarriages，andabovethechaosofsoundsrosethebrisktenortonesofthenearestchurchandaloudshrilllaugh。
　　"Whatalotofpeople！"sighedNevyrazimov，lookingdownintothestreet，whereshadowsofmenflittedoneafteranotherbytheilluminationlamps。"They’reallhurryingtothemidnightservice……Ourfellowshavehadadrinkbynow，youmaybesure，andarestrollingaboutthetown。Whatalotoflaughter，whatalotoftalk！I’mtheonlyunluckyone，tohavetosithereonsuchaday：AndIhavetodoiteveryyear！"
　　"Well，nobodyforcesyoutotakethejob。It’snotyourturntobeondutytoday，butZastupovhiredyoutotakehisplace。Whenotherfolksareenjoyingthemselvesyouhireyourselfout。It’sgreediness！"
　　"Devilabitofit！Notmuchtobegreedyover——tworoublesisallhegivesme；anecktieasanextra……It’spoverty，notgreediness。Anditwouldbejolly，now，youknow，tobegoingwithapartytotheservice，andthentobreakthefast……
　　Todrinkandtohaveabitofsupperandtumbleofftosleep……Onesitsdowntothetable，there’sanEastercakeandthesamovarhissing，andsomecharminglittlethingbesideyou……
　　Youdrinkaglassandchuckherunderthechin，andit’sfirst-
　　rate……Youfeelyou’resomebody……Echh-h！……I’vemadeamessofthings！Lookatthathussydrivingbyinhercarriage，whileIhavetosithereandbrood。"
　　"Weeachhaveourlotinlife，IvanDanilitch。PleaseGod，you’llbepromotedanddriveaboutinyourcarriageoneday。"
　　"I？No，brother，notlikely。Ishan’tgetbeyonda’titular，’notifItrytillIburst。I’mnotaneducatedman。"
　　"OurGeneralhasnoeducationeither，but……"
　　"Well，buttheGeneralstoleahundredthousandbeforehegothisposition。Andhe’sgotverydifferentmannersanddeportmentfromme，brother。Withmymannersanddeportmentonecan’tgetfar！
　　Andsuchascoundrellysurname，Nevyrazimov！It’sahopelessposition，infact。Onemaygoonasoneis，oronemayhangoneself……"
　　Hemovedawayfromthewindowandwalkedwearilyabouttherooms。
　　Thedinofthebellsgrewlouderandlouder……Therewasnoneedtostandbythewindowtohearit。Andthebetterhecouldhearthebellsandtheloudertheroarofthecarriages，thedarkerseemedthemuddywallsandthesmuttycorniceandthemorethelampsmoked。
　　"ShallIhookitandleavetheoffice？"thoughtNevyrazimov。
　　Butsuchaflightpromisednothingworthhaving……Aftercomingoutoftheofficeandwanderingaboutthetown，Nevyrazimovwouldhavegonehometohislodging，andinhislodgingitwasevengrayerandmoredepressingthanintheoffice……
　　Evensupposingheweretospendthatdaypleasantlyandwithcomfort，whathadhebeyond？Nothingbutthesamegraywalls，thesamestop-gapdutyandcomplimentaryletters……
　　Nevyrazimovstoodstillinthemiddleoftheofficeandsankintothought。Theyearningforanew，betterlifegnawedathisheartwithanintolerableache。Hehadapassionatelongingtofindhimselfsuddenlyinthestreet，tominglewiththelivingcrowd，totakepartinthesolemnfestivityforthesakeofwhichallthosebellswereclashingandthosecarriageswererumbling。Helongedforwhathehadknowninchildhood——thefamilycircle，thefestivefacesofhisownpeople，thewhitecloth，light，warmth……！Hethoughtofthecarriageinwhichtheladyhadjustdrivenby，theovercoatinwhichtheheadclerkwassosmart，thegoldchainthatadornedthesecretary’schest……
　　Hethoughtofawarmbed，oftheStanislavorder，ofnewboots，ofauniformwithoutholesintheelbows……Hethoughtofallthosethingsbecausehehadnoneofthem。
　　"ShallIsteal？"hethought。"Evenifstealingisaneasymatter，hidingiswhat’sdifficult。MenrunawaytoAmerica，theysay，withwhatthey’vestolen，butthedevilknowswherethatblessedAmericais。Onemusthaveeducationeventosteal，itseems。"
　　Thebellsdieddown。HeheardonlyadistantnoiseofcarriagesandParamon’scough，whilehisdepressionandangergrewmoreandmoreintenseandunbearable。Theclockintheofficestruckhalf-pasttwelve。
　　"ShallIwriteasecretreport？Proshkindid，andheroserapidly。"
　　Nevyrazimovsatdownathistableandpondered。Thelampinwhichthekerosenehadquiterundrywassmokingviolentlyandthreateningtogoout。Thestraycockroachwasstillrunningaboutthetableandhadfoundnoresting-place。
　　"Onecanalwayssendinasecretreport，buthowisonetomakeitup？Ishouldwanttomakeallsortsofinnuendoesandinsinuations，likeProshkin，andIcan’tdoit。IfImadeupanythingIshouldbethefirsttogetintotroubleforit。I’manass，damnmysoul！"
　　AndNevyrazimov，rackinghisbrainforameansofescapefromhishopelessposition，staredattheroughcopyhehadwritten。Theletterwaswrittentoamanwhomhefearedandhatedwithhiswholesoul，andfromwhomhehadforthelasttenyearsbeentryingtowringapostwortheighteenroublesamonth，insteadoftheonehehadatsixteenroubles。
　　"Ah，I’llteachyoutorunhere，youdevil！"Heviciouslyslappedthepalmofhishandonthecockroach，whohadthemisfortunetocatchhiseye。"Nastything！"
　　Thecockroachfellonitsbackandwriggleditslegsindespair。
　　Nevyrazimovtookitbyonelegandthrewitintothelamp。Thelampflaredupandspluttered。
　　AndNevyrazimovfeltbetter。
　　THEREQUIEM
　　INthevillagechurchofVerhnyZaprudymasswasjustover。Thepeoplehadbegunmovingandweretroopingoutofchurch。TheonlyonewhodidnotmovewasAndreyAndreyitch，ashopkeeperandoldinhabitantofVerhnyZaprudy。Hestoodwaiting，withhiselbowsontherailingoftherightchoir。Hisfatandshavenface，coveredwithindentationsleftbypimples，expressedonthisoccasiontwocontradictoryfeelings：resignationinthefaceofinevitabledestiny，andstupid，unboundeddisdainforthesmocksandstripedkerchiefspassingbyhim。AsitwasSunday，hewasdressedlikeadandy。Heworealongclothovercoatwithyellowbonebuttons，bluetrousersnotthrustintohisboots，andsturdygoloshes——thehugeclumsygoloshesonlyseenonthefeetofpracticalandprudentpersonsoffirmreligiousconvictions。
　　Historpideyes，sunkinfat，werefixedupontheikonstand。Hesawthelongfamiliarfiguresofthesaints，thevergerMatveypuffingouthischeeksandblowingoutthecandles，thedarkenedcandlestands，thethreadbarecarpet，thesacristanLopuhovrunningimpulsivelyfromthealtarandcarryingtheholybreadtothechurchwarden……Allthesethingshehadseenforyears，andseenoverandoveragainlikethefivefingersofhishand……Therewasonlyonething，however，thatwassomewhatstrangeandunusual。FatherGrigory，stillinhisvestments，wasstandingatthenorthdoor，twitchinghisthickeyebrowsangrily。
　　"Whoisitheiswinkingat？Godblesshim！"thoughttheshopkeeper。"Andheisbeckoningwithhisfinger！Andhestampedhisfoot！Whatnext！What’sthematter，HolyQueenandMother！
　　Whomdoeshemeanitfor？"
　　AndreyAndreyitchlookedroundandsawthechurchcompletelydeserted。Thereweresometenpeoplestandingatthedoor，buttheyhadtheirbackstothealtar。
　　"Docomewhenyouarecalled！Whydoyoustandlikeagravenimage？"heheardFatherGrigory’sangryvoice。"Iamcallingyou。"
　　TheshopkeeperlookedatFatherGrigory’sredandwrathfulface，andonlythenrealizedthatthetwitchingeyebrowsandbeckoningfingermightrefertohim。Hestarted，lefttherailing，andhesitatinglywalkedtowardsthealtar，trampingwithhisheavygoloshes。
　　"AndreyAndreyitch，wasityouaskedforprayersfortherestofMariya’ssoul？"askedthepriest，hiseyesangrilytransfixingtheshopkeeper’sfat，perspiringface。
　　"Yes，Father。"
　　"Thenitwasyouwrotethis？You？"AndFatherGrigoryangrilythrustbeforehiseyesthelittlenote。
　　Andonthislittlenote，handedinbyAndreyAndreyitchbeforemass，waswritteninbig，asitwerestaggering，letters：
　　"FortherestofthesouloftheservantofGod，theharlotMariya。"
　　"Yes，certainlyIwroteit，……"answeredtheshopkeeper。
　　"Howdaredyouwriteit？"whisperedthepriest，andinhishuskywhispertherewasanoteofwrathandalarm。
　　Theshopkeeperlookedathiminblankamazement；hewasperplexed，andhe，too，wasalarmed。FatherGrigoryhadneverinhislifespokeninsuchatonetoaleadingresidentofVerhnyZaprudy。Bothweresilentforaminute，staringintoeachother’sface。Theshopkeeper’samazementwassogreatthathisfatfacespreadinalldirectionslikespiltdough。
　　"Howdaredyou？"repeatedthepriest。
　　"Wha……what？"askedAndreyAndreyitchinbewilderment。