avoidscommittingoneself，orgivingoffencebysilence。Therewashungintheapartmentoneportrait，amongstothers，thatverymuchresembledtheDukeofD———。IaskedMissKnightwhomitrepresented。
Shesaidthatwasnotknown;ithadbeensupposedalikenessofthePretender，whenyoung。ThisanswersuitedmythoughtssocomicallyIcouldhavelaughed，ifoneeverdidatcourtsanythingbutthecontraryofwhatonewasinclinedtodo。
"PrincessCharlottehasaverygreatvarietyofexpressioninhercountenance——aplayoffeatures，andaforceofmuscle，rarelyseeninconnectionwithsuchsoftandshadelesscoloring。Herhandsandarmsarebeautiful;butIthinkherfigureisalreadygone，andwillsoonbepreciselylikehermother’s：inshortitistheverypictureofher，andNOTINMINIATURE。IcouldnothelpanalyzingmyownsensationsduringthetimeIwaswithher，andthoughtmoreofthemthanIdidofher。WhywasIatallflattered，atallmoreamused，atallmoresuppletothisyoungprincess，thantoherwhoisonlythesamesortofpersonsetintheshadeofcircumstancesandofyears？Itisthatyouth，andtheapproachofpower，andthelatentviewsofself—interest，swaytheheartanddazzletheunderstanding。Ifthisissowithaheartnot，Itrust，corrupt，andaheadnotparticularlyformedforinterestedcalculations，whateffectmustnotthesamecausesproduceonthegeneralityofmankind？
"Inthecourseoftheconversation，thePrincessCharlottecontrivedtoedgeinagooddealoftum—de—dy，andwould，ifIhadenteredintothething，havegoneonwithit，whilelookingatalittlepictureofherself，whichhadaboutthirtyorfortydifferentdressestoputoverit，doneonisinglass，andwhichallowedthegeneralcoloringofthepicturetobeseenthroughitstransparency。
Itwas，Ithought，aprettyenoughconceit，thoughratherlikedressingupadoll。’Ah！，’saidMissKnight，’Iamnotcontentthough，madame——forIyetshouldhavelikedonemoredress——thatofthefavoriteSultana。’
"’No，no！’saidtheprincess，’Ineverwasafavorite，andnevercanbeone，’——lookingatapicturewhichshesaidwasherfather’s，butwhichIdonotbelievewasdonefortheregentanymorethanforme，butrepresentedayoungmaninahussar’sdress——probablyaformerfavorite。
"ThePrincessCharlotteseemedmuchhurtatthelittlenoticethatwastakenofherbirthday。Afterkeepingmefortwohoursandahalfshedismissedme;andIamsureIcouldnotsaywhatshesaid，exceptthatitwasanolioofdecoususandheterogeneousthings，partakingofthecharacteristicsofhermother，graftedonayoungerscion。Idinedtete—a—tetewithmydearoldaunt：hersisalwaysasweetandsoothingsocietytome。"
There’sapleasing，lady—like，moralextractforyou！AninnocentyoungthingoffifteenhaspictursofTWOloversinherroom，andexpexagoodnumbermore。ThisdellygateyoungcreatureEDGESinagooddealofTUMDEDY（Ican’tfinditinJohnson’sDixonary），andwouldhaveGONEONWITHTHETHING（ellygenceoflanguidge），ifthedairy—ladywouldhavelether。
Now，totellyouthetruth，Mr。Yorke，Idoan’tbeleaveasinglesyllibleofthisstory。Thisladyofhonnersays，inthefustplace，thattheprincesswouldhavetalkedagooddealofTUMDEDY：
whichmeans，Isuppose，indeasnsy，ifshe，theladyofhonnerWOULD
HAVELETHER。ThisISagoodone！Why，sheletseverybodyelsetalktumdedytotheirhearts’content;sheletsherfriendsWRITE
tumdedy，and，afterkeepingitforaquarterofasentry，shePRINTSit。Whythen，besosqueamishaboutHEARINGalittle！And，then，there’sthestoaryofthetwoportricks。ThiswomanhasthehonnertobereceivedinthefrendlyestmannerbyaBritishprincess;andwhatdoesthegratefulloyalcreaturedo？2pictursoftheprincess’srelationsarehanginginherroom，andtheDairy—
womanswearsawaythepooryoungprincess’scarrickter，byswearingtheyarepictursofherLOVERS。Forshame，oh，forshame！youslanderinbackbitindairy—womanyou！Ifyoutoldallthemthingstoyour"dearoldaunt，"ongoingtodinewithher，youmusthavehadvery"sweetandsoothingsociety"indeed。
Ihadmarkedoutmanymoreextrax，whichIintendedtowriteabout;
butIthinkIhavesaidenoughaboutthisDairy：infack，thebutler，andthegalsintheservants’—hallarenotwellpleasedthatIshouldgoonreadingthisnaughtybook;sowe’llhavenomoreofit，onlyonepassidgeaboutPollytics，witchissertnlyquitenew：——
"NoonewassolikelytobeabletodefeatBonaparteastheCrownPrince，fromtheintimateknowledgehepossessedofhischaracter。
BernadottewasalsoinstigatedagainstBonapartebyonewhonotonlyowedhimapersonalhatred，butwhopossessedamindequaltohis，andwhogavetheCrownPrincebothinformationandadvicehowtoact。ThiswasnolessapersonthanMadamedeStael。Itwasnot，assomehaveasserted，THATSHEWASINLOVEWITHBERNADOTTE;
for，atthetimeoftheirintimacy，MADAMEDESTAELWASINLOVE
WITHROCCA。Butsheusedherinfluence（whichwasnotsmall）withtheCrownPrince，tomakehimfightagainstBonaparte，andtoherwisdommaybeattributedmuchofthesuccesswhichaccompaniedhisattackuponhim。Bernadottehasraisedtheflameofliberty，whichseemsfortunatelytoblazeallaround。MayitliberateEurope;andfromtheashesofthelaurelmayolivebranchesspringup，andovershadowtheearth！"
There’sadiscuvery！thattheoverthrowofBoneypartisowingtoMADAMEDESTAEL！WhatnonsinceforColonelSoutheyorDoctorNapiertowritehistoriesofthewarwiththatCapsicanhupstartandmurderer，whenherewehavethewholeaffairexplanedbytheladyofhonor！
"Sunday，April10，1814。——Theincidentswhichtakeplaceeveryhouraremiraculous。Bonaparteisdeposed，butalive;subdued，butallowedtochoosehisplaceofresidence。TheislandofElbaisthespothehasselectedforhisignominiousretreat。Franceisholdingforthrepentantarmstoherbanishedsovereign。ThePoissardeswhodraggedLouisXVI。tothescaffoldarepresentingflowerstotheEmperorofRussia，therestoreroftheirlegitimateking！Whatastupendousfieldforphilosophytoexpatiatein！
Whatanendlessmaterialforthought！Whathumiliationtotheprideofmerehumangreatness！Howarethemightyfallen！OfallthatwasgreatinNapoleon，whatremains？Despoiledofhisusurpedpower，hesinkstoinsignificance。Therewasnomoralgreatnessintheman。Themeteordazzled，scorched，isputout，——utterly，andforever。Butthepowerwhichrestsinthosewhohavedeliveredthenationsfrombondage，isapowerthatisdelegatedtothemfromheaven;andthemannerinwhichtheyhaveuseditisaguaranteeforitscontinuance。TheDukeofWellingtonhasgainedlaurelsunstainedbyanyuselessflowofblood。Hehasdonemorethanconquerothers——hehasconqueredhimself：andinthemidstoftheblazeandflushofvictory，surroundedbythehomageofnations，hehasnotbeenbetrayedintothecommissionofanyactofcrueltyorwantonoffence。Hewasascoolandself—possessedundertheblazeanddazzleoffameasacommonmanwouldbeundertheshadeofhisgarden—tree，orbythehearthofhishome。ButthetyrantwhokeptEuropeinaweisnowapitiableobjectforscorntopointthefingerofderisionat：andhumanityshuddersasitremembersthescourgewithwhichthisman’sambitionwaspermittedtodevastateeveryhometie，andeveryheartfeltjoy。"
Andnow，afterthissublimepassidge，asfullofawflereflectionsandpioussentymentsasthoseofMrs。Coleintheplay，Ishallonlyquotonelittleextrakmore：——
"Allgoesgloomilywiththepoorprincess。LadyCharlotteCampbelltoldmesheregretsnotseeingallthesecuriouspersonages;butshesays，themoretheprincessisforsaken，themorehappysheisathavingofferedtoattendheratthistime。THISISVERYAMIABLE
INHER，andcannotfailtobegratifyingtotheprincess。"
Soitis——weryamiable，werykindandconsiderateinher，indeed。
PoorPrincess！howluckyyouwastofindafrendwholovedyouforyourownsake，andwhenalltherestofthewuldturneditsbackkepsteadytoyou。AsforbelievingthatLadySharlothadanyhandinthisbook，*heavenforbid！sheisallgratitude，puregratitude，dependuponit。SHEwouldnotgofortoblackenheroldfrendandpatron’scarrickter，afterhavingbeensooutrageouslyfaithfultoher;SHEwouldn’tdoit，atnoprice，dependuponit。Howsorryshemustbethatothersan’tquitesosquemish，andshowupinthisindesentwaythefolliesofherkind，genrus，foolishbennyfactris！
*The"authorized"announcement，intheJohnBullnewspaper，setsthisquestionatrest。ItisdeclaredthatherladyshipisnotthewriteroftheDiary。——O。Y。
EPISTLESTOTHELITERATI。
CH—SY—LL—WPL—SH，ESQ。，TOSIREDWARDLYTTONBULWER，BT。
JOHNTHOMASSMITH，ESQ。，TOC——SY——H，ESQ。
NOTUS。
Thesuckmstansiesofthefollowingharticleareasfollos：——Meandmyfriend，thesellabratedMr。Smith，reckonizedeachotherintheHaymarketTheatre，duringtheperformintsofthenewplay。Iwassettninthegallery，andsungouttohim（hewasinthepit），tojineusaftertheplay，overaglassofbearandacoldhoyster，inmypantry，thefamilybeingout。
Smithcameasappinted。Wedescorsedonthesubjickofthecomady;
and，aftersefralglases，weeachofusagreedtowritealettertotheother，givingournotiumsofthepease。Paperwasbroughtthatmomint;andSmithwritinghisharticleacrosstheknife—bord，I
dashtoffmineonthedresser。
Ouragreementwas，thatI（beingremarkabbleformystyleofriting）shouldcretasizethelanguidge，whilstheshouldtakeupwiththeplotoftheplay;andthecandiedreaderwillpardingmeforhavingholteredtheoriginaladdressofmyletter，anddirectedittoSirEdwardhimself;andforhavingincopperatedSmith’sremarksinthemidstofmyown：——
MAYFAIR，Nov。30，1839。Midnite。
HONRABBLEBARNET！——Retiredfromthelitteryworldayearormoar，I
didn’tthinkanythinkwouldinjuicemetocomeforrardsagain：forIwascontentwithmyshareofreputation，andpropoas’dtoaddnothinktothoseimmortialwuxwhichhaverenderedthisMagaseensosallybrated。
ShallItellyouthereaznofmyre—appearants？——adesireforthebenefickofmyfellow—creatures？Fiddlestick！Amightytruthwithwhichmybusmlabored，andwhichImustbringforthordie？
Nonsince——stuff：money’sthesecret，mydearBarnet，——money——
l’argong，gelt，spicunia。Here’squarter—daycoming，andI’mblestifIcanpaymylandlud，unlessIcanadhartificiallytomyinkum。
Thisis，however，betwigstyouandme。There’snoneedtoblacardthestreetswithit，ortotelltheBritishpublicthatFitzroyY—ll—wpl—shisshortofmoney，orthatthesallybratedhauthoroftheY———Papersisinpeskewniarydifficklties，orisfiteaguedbyhissuperhumanlitterylabors，orbyhisfamlysuckmstansies，orbyanyotherpusnalmatter：mymaxim，dearB，isonthesepintstobeasquietasposbile。Whatthejuicedoesthepubliccareforyouorme？Whymustwealways，inprefizzesandwhatnot，bea—talkingaboutourselvesandourigstrodnarymerrats，woas，andinjaries？ItisonthissubjickthatIporpies，mydearBarnet，tospeaktoyouinafrendlyway;andprapsyou’llfindmyadvisetolrabblyholesum。
Well，then，——ifyoucareabouttheapinions，furgoodorevil，ofuspoorsuvvants，Itellyou，inthemostcandiedway，Ilikeyou，Barnet。I’vehadmyflingatyouinmyday（for，entrynou，thatlaststoaryIroataboutyouandLarnderwasasbigabownsiraseverwas）——I’vehadmyflingatyou;butIlikeyou。Onemayobjecktoanimmensedealofyourwritings，which，betwigstyouandme，containmoreshamscentiment，shammorallaty，shampoatry，thanyou’dliketoown;but，inspiteofthis，there’stheSTUFFinyou：
you’veakindandloyalheartinyou，Barnet——atrifledeboshed，perhaps;akeani，igspeciallyforwhat’scomic（asforyourtradgady，it’smightyflatchulent），andareadyplesntpen。ThemanwhosaysyouareanAsisanAshimself。Don’tbelievehim，Barnet！notthatIsupposeyouwil，——for，ifI’veformedacorreckapinionofyoufromyourwucks，youthinkyoursmall—beearasgoodasmostmen’s：everymandoes，——andwhynot？Webrew，andweloveourowntap——amen;butthepintbetwigstus，isthisstewpid，absuddwayofcryingout，becausethepublicdon’tlikeittoo。
Whyshoodthey，mydearBarnet？Youmayvowthattheyarefools;
orthatthecritixareyourenemies;orthatthewuldshouldjudgeyourpoamsbyyourcritticlerules，andnottheirown：youmaybeatyourbreast，andvowyouareamarter，andyouwon’tmendthematter。Takeheart，man！you’renotsomisrabbleafterall：yourspiritsneednotbesoVERYcastdown;youarenotsoVERYbadlypaid。I’dlayawagerthatyoumake，withonethingoranother——
plays，novvles，pamphlicks，andlittleoddjobbshereandthere——
yourthreethowsndayear。There’smanyaman，dearBullwigthatworksforless，andlivescontent。Whyshouldn’tyou？Threethowsndayearisnosuchbadthing，——letalonethebarnetcy：itmustbeagreatcomforttohavethatbloodyhandinyourskitching。
Butdon’tyousea，thatinawuldnaturallyenvius，wickid，andfondofajoak，thisverybarnetcy，theseverycumplaints，——thisceaselessgroning，andmoning，andwiningofyours，isigsacklythethingwhichmakespeoplelaffandsnearmore？Ifyouwereeveratagreatschool，youmustrecklectwhowastheboymostbullid，andbuffited，andpurshewd——hewhomindeditmost。Hewhocouldtakeabastinggotbutfew;hewhorordandwepbecausetheknottyboyscalledhimnicknames，wasnicknamedwussandwuss。Irecklecttherewasatourschool，inSmithfield，achapofthismilksop，spoonysort，whoappearedamongtheromping，raggedfellersinafineflanningdressing—gownd，thathismamahadgivenhim。Thatporeboywasbeateninawaythathisdearmaandauntsdidn’tknowhim;hisfineflanningdressing—gowndwastornalltoribbings，andhegotnopeaseintheschooleverafter，butwasabligedtobetakentosomeothersaminary，where，Imakenodoubt，hewaspaidoffigsactlyinthesameway。
Doyoutakethehalligory，mydearBarnet？Mutaytonominy——youknowwhatImean。Youaretheboy，andyourbarnetcyisthedressing—gownd。Youdressyourselfoutfinerthanotherchapsandtheyallbegintosaultandhustleyou;it’shumannature，Barnet。
Youshowweakness，thinkofyourdearma，mayhap，andbegintocry：
it’salloverwithyou;thewholeschoolisatyou——upperboysandunder，bigandlittle;thedirtiestlittlefagintheplacewillpipeoutblaggerdnamesatyou，andtakeshispewnytugatyourtail。
Theonlywaytoavoidsuchconsperraciesistoputapairofstowtshoaldersforrards，andbustthroughthecrowdofraggymuffins。A
goodboldfellowdublshisfistt，andcries，"Whadaresmeddlewi’
me？"WhenScottgotHISbarnetcy，forinstans，didanyoneofuscryout？No，bythelaws，hewasourmaster;andwobetidethechapthatsaidneightohim！Butthere’sbarnetsandbarnets。Doyourecklectthatfinechapterin"SquintinDurward，"aboutthetoofellosandcups，atthesiegeofthebishop’scastle？Oneofthemwasabravewarner，andkepHIScup;theystrangledtheotherchap——
strangledhim，andlaffedathimtoo。
Withrespeck，then，tothebarnetcypint，thisismyadvice：brazenitout。UslitterymenItaketobelikeapackofschoolboys——
childish，greedy，envius，holdingbyourfriends，andalwaysreadytofight。Whatmustbeaman’sconduckamongsuch？Hemusteithertakenonotis，andpassonmyjastick，orelseturnroundandpummlesoundly——one，two，rightandleft，dingdongoverthefaceandeyes;aboveall，neveracknowledgethatheishurt。Yearsago，forinstans（we’venoill—blood，butonlymentionthisbywayofigsample），youbeganasparringwiththisMagaseen。Lawblessyou，sucharidicklusgaymIneversee：amansobelaybord，beflustered，bewolloped，wasneverknown;itwasthelaffofthewholetown。
Yourintelackshalnatur，respectedBarnet，isnotfizzicklyadapted，sotospeak，forencountersofthissort。Youmustnotindulgeincombatswithuscoursebulliesofthepress：youhavenottheSTAMINYforareglarset—to。What，then，isyourplan？Inthemidstofthemobtopassasquietasyoucan：youwon’tbeundistubbed。Whois？Somestraykixandbuffitswillfalltoyou——
mortialmanissubjicktosuch;butifyoubegintowinsandcryout，andsetupforamarter，wobetideyou！
Theseremarks，pusnalasIconfessthemtobe，areyet，Iassureyou，writteninperfickgood—natur，andhavebeeninspiredbyyourplayofthe"SeaCapting，"andprefiztoit;whichlatterisonmattersintirelypusnal，andwill，therefore，Itrust，igscusethiskindofadhominam（astheysay）disk—cushion。Ipropose，honrabbleBarnit，tocumsidercalmlythisplayandprephiz，andtospeakofbothwiththathonistywhich，inthepantryorstuddy，I’vebeenalwaysphamousfor。Letus，inthefirstplace，listentotheopeningofthe"PrefaceoftheFourthEdition："
"NoonecanbemoresensiblethanIamofthemanyfaultsanddeficienciestobefoundinthisplay;but，perhaps，whenitisconsideredhowveryrarelyithashappenedinthehistoryofourdramaticliteraturethatgoodactingplayshavebeenproduced，exceptbythosewhohaveeitherbeenactorsthemselves，orformedtheirhabitsofliterature，almostoflife，behindthescenes，I
mighthavelookedforacriticismmoregenerous，andlessexactingandrigorous，thanthatbywhichtheattemptsofanauthoraccustomedtoanotherclassofcompositionhavebeenreceivedbyalargeproportionoftheperiodicalpress。
"Itisscarcelypossible，indeed，thatthisplayshouldnotcontainfaultsoftwokinds，first，thefaultsofonewhohasnecessarilymuchtolearninthemechanismofhisart;and，secondly，ofonewho，havingwrittenlargelyinthenarrativestyleoffiction，maynotunfrequentlymistaketheeffectsofanovelfortheeffectsofadrama。Imayaddtothese，perhaps，thedeficienciesthatarisefromuncertainhealthandbrokenspirits，whichrendertheauthormoresusceptiblethanhemighthavebeensomeyearssincetothatspiritofdepreciationandhostilitywhichithasbeenhismisfortunetoexciteamongstthegeneralcontributorstotheperiodicalpressfortheconsciousnessthateveryendeavorwillbemadetocavil，todistort，tomisrepresent，and，infine，ifpossible，toRUNDOWN，willoccasionallyhaunteventhehoursofcomposition，tochecktheinspiration，anddamptheardor。
"Havingconfessedthusmuchfranklyandfairly，andwithahopethatImayultimatelydobetter，shouldIcontinuetowriteforthestage（whichnothingbutanassurancethat，withallmydefects，I
mayyetbringsomelittleaidtothedrama，atatimewhenanyaid，howeverhumble，oughttobewelcometotheloversoftheart，couldinducemetodo），mayIbepermittedtosayafewwordsastosomeoftheobjectionswhichhavebeenmadeagainstthisplay？"
Now，mydearsir，lookwhataprettynumberofpleaseyouputforrardshere，whyyourplayshouldn’tbegood。
First。Goodplaysarealmostalwayswrittenbyactors。
Secknd。Youareanovicetothestyleofcomposition。
Third。YouMAYbemistakeninyoureffects，beinganovelistbytrade，andnotaplay—writer。
Fourthly。Yourinsuchbadhelthandsperrits。
Fifthly。Yoursoafraidofthecritix，thattheydampyourarder。
Forshame，forshame，man！Whatconfeshnsisthese，——whatpainfulpewlingandpiping！Yournotababby。Itakeyoutobesomesevenoreightandthuttyyearsold——"inthemorningofyouth，"astheflosofersays。Don’tletanysuchnonsincetakeyourreaznprisoner。What，you，anoldhandamongstus，——anoldsoljerofoursovringqueanthepress，——you，whohavehadthebestpay，haveheldthetopmostrank（ay，andDESERVEDthemtoo！——Igifyouleftoquotmeinsasiaty，andsay，"IAMamanofgenius：Y—ll—wpl—shsaysso"），——youtoloseheart，andcrypickavy，andbegintohowl，becauselittleboysflingstonesatyou！Fie，man！takecourage;
and，bearingtheterrowsofyourblood—redhand，asthepoetsays，punishus，ifwe’veofendedyou：punishuslikeaman，orbearyourownpunishmentlikeaman。Don’ttrytocomeoffwithsuchmisrabblelodgicasthatabove。
Whatdoyou？Yougivefoursatisfackaryreaznsthattheplayisbad（theseckndisnaught，——foryournosuchchickingatplay—
writing，thisbeingtheforth）。Youshowthattheplaymustbebad，andTHENbegintodealwiththecritixforfindingfolt！
Wasthereeverwussgeneralship？TheplayISbad，——yourright——awussIneverseeorread。ButwhykneedYOUsayso？IfitwassoVERYbad，whypublishit？BECAUSEYOUWISHTOSERVETHEDRAMA！
Ofie！don’tlaythatflatteringfunctiontoyoursole，asMiltonobserves。Doyoubelievethatthis"SeaCapting"canservethedrama？Didyouneverintendthatitshouldserveanything，oranybodyELSE？Ofcorsyoudid！Youwroteitformoney，——moneyfromthemaniger，moneyfromthebookseller，——forthesamereasonthatIwritethis。Sir，Shakspearewrotefortheverysamereasons，andIneverheardthathebraggedaboutservingthedrama。
Awaywiththiscantingaboutgreatmotifs！Letusnotbetooprowd，mydearBarnet，andfansyourselvesmartersofthetruth，martersorapostels。Wearebuttradesmen，workingforbread，andnotforrighteousness’sake。Let’stryandworkhonestly;butdon’tletusbepraytingpompislyaboutour"sacredcalling。"Thetaylorwhomakesyourcoats（andverywelltheyaremadetoo，withthebestofvelvitcollars）——IsayStulze，orNugee，mightcryoutthatTHEIRmotifswerebuttoasserttheeturnletruthoftayloring，withjustasmuchreazn;andwhowouldbelievethem？
Well;afterthisacknollitchmintthattheplayisbad，comesefralpagesofattackonthecritix，andthefoltthosegentryhavefoundwithit。WiththeseIshan’tmiddleforthepresnt。Youdefendallthecharacters1by1，andconcludeyourremarksasfollows：——
"Imustbepardonedforthisdisquisitiononmyowndesigns。Wheneverymeansisemployedtomisrepresent，itbecomes，perhaps，allowabletoexplain。AndifIdonotthinkthatmyfaultsasadramaticauthoraretobefoundinthestudyanddelineationofcharacter，itispreciselybecauseTHATisthepointonwhichallmypreviouspursuitsinliteratureandactuallifewouldbemostlikelytopreservemefromtheerrorsIownelsewhere，whetherofmisjudgmentorinexperience。
"Ihavenowonlytoaddmythankstotheactorsforthezealandtalentwithwhichtheyhaveembodiedthecharactersentrustedtothem。ThesweetnessandgracewithwhichMissFaucitembellishedthepartofViolet，which，thoughonlyasketch，ismostnecessarytothecoloringandharmonyoftheplay，wereperhapsthemorepleasingtotheaudiencefromthegenerosity，rarewithactors，whichinducedhertotakeapartsofarinferiortoherpowers。
TheapplausewhichattendstheperformanceofMrs。WarnerandMr。
Stricklandatteststheirsuccessincharactersofunusualdifficulty;whilethesingularbeautyandnobleness，whetherofconceptionorexecution，withwhichthegreatestoflivingactorshaselevatedthepartofNorman（sototallydifferentfromhisordinaryrangeofcharacter），isanewproofofhisversatilityandaccomplishmentinallthatbelongstohisart。Itwouldbescarcelygracioustoconcludetheseremarkswithoutexpressingmyacknowledgmentofthatgenerousandindulgentsenseofjusticewhich，forgettingallpoliticaldifferencesinaliteraryarena，hasenabledmetoappealtoapprovingaudiences——fromhostilecritics。Anditisthiswhichaloneencouragesmetohopethat，soonerorlater，Imayaddtothedramaticliteratureofmycountrysomethingthatmayfind，perhaps，almostasmanyfriendsinthenextageasithasbeenthefateoftheauthortofindenemiesinthis。"
See，now，whatagoodcomfrabblevanatyis！Pepplehavequarldwiththedramaticcharactersofyourplay。"No，"saysyou;"ifI
AMremarkabbleforanythink，it’sformystudyanddelineationofcharacter;THATispresizelythepinttowhichmylitterypurshuitshaveledme。"Haveyouread"JilBlaw，"mydearsir？Haveyoupirouzedthatexlenttragady，the"Critic？"There’ssomethingsolikethisinSirFretfulPlaguy，andtheArchbishopofGranadiers，thatI’mblestifIcan’tlafftillmysidesake。Thinkofthecritixfixingontheverypintforwhichyouarefamus！——theroags！
Andsposetheyhadsaidtheplotwasabsudd，orthelangwitchabsudderstill，don’tyouthinkyouwouldhavehadawordindefensofthemtoo——youwhohopetofindfrendsforyourdramaticwuxinthenexage？Poo！Itellthee，Barnet，thatthenexagewillbewiserandbetterthanthis;anddoyouthinkthatitwillimplyitselfareadingofyourtrajadies？Thisismisantrofy，Barnet——
reglarByronism;andyouottohaveabetterapinianofhumannatur。
YourapinionabouttheactorsIshan’theremeddlewith。Theyallactedexlentlyasfarasmyhumbilejudgementgoes，andyourwriteingivingthemallpossibleprays。Butlet’sconsiderthelastsentenceoftheprefiz，mydearBarnet，andseewhataprettysetofapiniunsyoulaydown。
1。Thecritixareyourinymiesinthisage。
2。Inthenex，however，youhopetofindnewmrousfrends。
3。Andit’sasatisfackshntothinkthat，inspiteofpolitticlediffrances，youhavefoundfrendlyaujenceshere。
Now，mydearBarnet，foramanwhobeginssohumblywithwhatmyfriendFatherProutcallsanargamantumadmisericorjam，whoignowledgesthathisplayisbad，thathisporedearhelthisbad，andthosecussidcritixhaveplayedthejuicewithhim——Isay，foramanwhobeginnsinsuchahumbilltoan，it’sratherRICHtoseehowyouend。
MydearBarnet，DOyousupposethatPOLITTICLEDIFFRANCESprejudicepeppleagainstYOU？WhatAREyourpolitix？Wig，Ipresume——soaremine，ontrynoo。AndwhatiftheyAREWig，orRaddiccle，orCumsuvvative？DoesanymortialmaninEnglandcareaphigforyourpolitix？Doyouthinkyourselfsuchamitymaninparlymint，thatcritixaretobeangrywithyou，andaujencestobecumsideredmagnanamousbecausetheytreatyoufairly？There，now，wasSherridn，hewhoroatthe"Rifles"and"SchoolforScandle"（Isawthe"Rifles"afteryourplay，and，OBarnet，ifyouKNEWwhatareliefitwas！）——there，Isay，wasSherridn——heWASapolitticlecharacter，ifyouplease——heCOULDmakeaspitchortwo——doyousposethatPitt，Purseyvall，Castlerag，oldGeorgetheThirdhimself，woodengotoseethe"Rivles"——ay，andclaphandstoo，andlaffandror，forallSherry’sWiggery？Doyousposethecritixwouldn’tapplaudtoo？Forshame，Barnet！whatninnis，whathartlessraskles，youmustbeleavethemtobe，——inthefustplase，tofancythatyouareapolitticlegenus;inthesecknd，toletyourpolitixinterfearwiththeirnotiumsaboutlitterymerits！
"Putthatnonsinceoutofyourhead，"asFoxsaidtoBonypart。
Wasn’titthatgreatgenus，Dennis，thatwroteinSwiffandPoop’stime，whofansidthattheFrenchkingwoodenmakepeaseunlessDenniswasdelivereduptohim？Uponmywud，Idoan’tthinkhecarridhisdiddlusionmuchfurtherthanasertinghonrabblebarnetofmyaquentance。
Andthenforthenexage。Respectedsir，thisisanotherdiddlusion;agrossmisteakonyourpart，ormynameisnotY——sh。
Theseplaysimmortial？Ah，parrysampe，astheFrenchsay，thisistoostrong——thesmall—beerofthe"SeaCapting，"orofanysuxessorofthe"SeaCapting，"tokeepsweetforsentriesandsentries！
Barnet，Barnet！doyouknowthenaturofbear？Sixweeksisnotpast，andhereyourlastcasqueissour——thepublicwon’tevennowdrinkit;andIlayawagerthat，betwigstthisday（thethuttiethNovember）andtheendoftheyear，thebarlwillbeoffthestoxaltogether，never，nevertoreturn。
I’venotteddownafewfrazeshereandthere，whichyouwilldowelldoigsamin：——
NORMAN。
"TheeternalFloraWoostoherodoroushauntsthewesternwind;
Whilecirclingroundandupwardsfromtheboughs，Goldenwithfruitsthatlurethejoyousbirds，Melody，likeahappysoulreleased，Hangsintheair，andfrominvisibleplumesShakessweetnessdown！"
NORMAN。
"AndthesethelipsWhere，tillthishour，thesadandholykissOfpartinglinger’d，asthefragranceleftByANGELSwhentheytouchtheearthandvanish。"
NORMAN。
"Hark！shehasblessedherson！Ibidyewitness，Yelisteningheavens——thoucircumambientair：
Theoceansighsitback——andwiththemurmurRustlethehappyleaves。AllnaturebreathesAloud——aloft——totheGreatParent’sear，Theblessingofthemotheronherchild。"
NORMAN。
"Idreamoflove，enduringfaith，aheartMingledwithmine——adeathlessheritage，WhichIcantakeunsulliedtotheSTARS，WhentheGreatFathercallshischildrenhome。"
NORMAN。
"Theblueair，breathlessintheSTARRYpeace，Afterlongsilencehushedasheaven，butfilledWithhappythoughtsasheavenwithANGELS。"
NORMAN。
"Tillonecalmnight，whenoverearthandwaveHeavenlookeditslovefromallitsnumberlessSTARS。"
NORMAN。
"Thoseeyes，theguidingSTARSbywhichIsteered。"
NORMAN。
"Thatgreatmother（TheonlyparentIhaveknown），whosefaceIsbrightwithgazingeverontheSTARS——
Themother—sea。"
NORMAN。
"Mybarkshallbeourhome;
TheSTARSthatlighttheANGELpalacesOfair，ourlamps。"
NORMAN。
"Anamethatglitters，likeaSTAR，amidstThegalaxyofEngland’sloftiestborn。"
LADYARUNDEL。
"Andseehimprinceliestoftheliontribe，Whoseswordsandcoronalsgleamaroundthethrone，TheguardianSTARSoftheimperialisle。"
Thefustspissymenhasbeengoingtheroundofallthepapers，asreal，reglarpoatry。Thosewickidcritix！theymusthavebeenlaffingintheirsleafswhentheyquotedit。Malody，sucklingroundanduppardsfromthebows，likeahappysoulreleased，hangsintheair，andfrominvizableplumesshakessweetnessdown。
Mightyfine，truly！butletmortialmantellthemeanninkofthepassidge。IsitMUSICKLEsweetnissthatMalodyshakesdownfromitsplumes——itswings，thatis，ortail——orsomepekewliarscentthatproceedsfromhappysoulsreleased，andwhichtheyshakedownfromthetreeswhentheyaresucklingroundanduppards？ISthispoatry，Barnet？Layyourhandonyourbusm，andspeakoutboldly：
Isitpoatry，orsheerwindyhumbugg，thatsoundsalittlemelojous，andwon’tbearthecommanesttestofcommansence？
Inpassidgenumber2，thesamebisnissisgoingon，thoughinamorecomprehensableway：theair，theleaves，theotion，arefildwithemoceanatCaptingNorman’shappiness。PoreNatureisdraggedintopartisapateinhisjoys，justasshehasbeenbefor。Onceinapoem，thisuniverslesimfithyisverywell;butonceisenuff，mydearBarnet：andthatonceshouldbeinsomegreatsuckmstans，surely，——suchasthemeetingofAdamandEve，in"ParadiceLost，"
orJewpeterandJewno，inHoamer，wherethereseems，asitwere，areasnforit。Butsea—captingsshouldnotbeeternlyspowtingandinvokinggods，hevns，starrs，angels，andothersilestialinfluences。Wecanalldoit，Barnet;nothinginlifeisesier。I
cancomparemylivrybuttonstothestars，orthecloudsofmybackopipetothedarkvollumsthatishewfromMountHetna;orIcansaythatangelsarelookingdownfromthem，andthetobaccosilf，likeahappysolereleased，iscirclingroundandupwards，andshakingsweetnessdown。Allthisisasesyasdrink;butit’snotpoatry，Barnet，nornatural。People，whentheirmothersreckonizethem，don’thowlaboutthesuckumambientair，andpawstothinkofthehappyleavesa—rustling——atleast，onemistruststhemiftheydo。Takeanotherinstansoutofyourownplay。CaptingNorman（withhiseternilSLACK—JAW！）meetsthegalofhisart：——
"Lookup，lookup，myViolet——weeping？fie！
Andtremblingtoo——yetleaningonmybreast。
Intruth，thouarttoosoftforsuchrudeshelter。
Lookup！Icometowootheetotheseas，Mysailor’sbride！Hastthounovoicebutblushes？
Nay——Fromthoserosesletme，likethebee，Dragforththesecretsweetness！
VIOLET。
"OhwhatthoughtsWerekeptforSPEECHwhenweoncemoreshouldmeet，NowblottedfromthePAGE;andallIfeelIs——THOUartwithme！"
Veryright，MissViolet——thescentimentisnatral，affeckshnit，pleasing，simple（itmighthavebeeninmoregrammaticlelanguidge，andnoharmdone）;butnevermind，thefeelingispritty;andIcanfancy，mydearBarnet，apritty，smiling，weepinglass，lookingupinaman’sfaceandsayingit。Butthecapting！——oh，thiscapting！——thiswindy，spoutingcaptain，withhisprittinesses，andconseatedapollogiesforthehardnessofhisbusm，andhisold，stale，vapidsimalies，andhiswishestobeabee！Pish！Mendon’tmakeloveinthisfinnikingway。It’sthepartofasentymentle，poeticletaylor，notagalliantgentleman，incommandofoneofherMadjisty’svesselsofwar。
Lookattheremainingextrac，honoredBarnet，andacknollidgethatCaptingNormaniseturnlyrepeatinghimself，withhisendlessjabberaboutstarsandangels。LookattheneatgrammaticletwistofLadyArundel’sspitch，too，who，inthecorseofthreelines，hasmadehersonaprince，alion，withaswordandcoronal，andastar。Whyjumbleandsheakupmetaforsinthisway？Barnet，onesimilyisquiteenuffinthebestofsentenses（andIpreshumeI
kneedn’ttellyouthatit’saswelltohaveitLIKE，whenyouareaboutit）。Takemyadvise，honrabblesir——listentoahumblefootmin：it’sgenrallybestinpoatrytounderstandpufficklywhatyoumeanyourself，andtoingspressyourmeaningclearlyafterwoods——inthesimplerwordsthebetter，praps。Youmay，forinstans，callacoronetacoronal（an"ancestralcoronal，"p。74）
ifyoulike，asyoumightcallahata"swartsombrero，""aglossyfour—and—nine，""asilkenhelm，tostormimpermeable，andlightsomeasthebreezygossamer;"but，inthelongrun，it’saswelltocallitahat。ItISahat;andthatnameisquiteaspoetticleasanother。Ithinkit’sPlayto，orelsHarrystottle，whoobservesthatwhatwecallarosebyanyothernamewouldsmellassweet。
Confess，now，dearBarnet，don’tyoulongtocallitaPolyanthus？
Ineverseeaplaymorecarelesslywritten。Insuchahurryyouseemtohavebean，thatyouhaveactiallyinsomesentencesforgottoputinthesence。Whatisthis，forinstance？——
"ThisthricepreciousoneSmiledtomyeyes——drewbeingfrommybreast——
Sleptinmyarms;——theverytearsIshedAbovemytreasuresweretomenandangelsAlikesuchholysweetness！"
Inthenameofalltheangelsthateveryouinvoked——Raphael，Gabriel，Uriel，Zadkiel，Azrael——whatdoesthis"holysweetness"
mean？We’renotspinxestoreadsuchdurkconandrums。IfyouknewmystatesinsIcameuponthispassidg——I’veneitherslepnoreton;
I’veneglectedmypantry;I’vebeenwandringfromhousetohousewiththisriddlinmyhand，andnobodycanunderstandit。AllMr。
Frazier’smenarewild，lookinggloomyatoneanother，andaskingwhatthismaybe。Allthecumtributorshavebeenspoakto。TheDoctor，whoknowseverylanguitch，hastriedandgiv’nup;we’vesenttoDocteurPettigruel，whoreadshoryglificsadealezierthanmywayofspellin’——noanser。Quick！quickwithafifthedition，honoredBarnet，andsetusatrest！Whileyouraboutit，please，too，toigsplainthetwolastlines：——
"HismerrybarkwithEngland’sflagtocrownher。"
Seewhatdellexyofigspreshn，"aflagtocrownher！"
"HismerrybarkwithEngland’sflagtocrownher，Fameformyhopes，andwomaninmycares。"
Likewisethefollowing：——
"Girl，beware，THELOVETHATTRIFLESROUNDTHECHARMSITGILDS
OFTRUINSWHILEITSHINES。"
Igsplanethis，menandangels！I’vetriedeveryway;backards，forards，andinallsortsoftrancepositions，asthus：——
Thelovethatruinsroundthecharmsitshines，Gildswhileittriflesoft;
Or，Thecharmthatgildsaroundtheloveitruins，Ofttrifleswhileitshines;
Or，Theruinsthatlovegildsandshinesaround，Ofttrifleswhereitcharms;
Or，Love，whileitcharms，shinesround，andruinsoft，Thetriflesthatitgilds;
Or，Thelovethattrifles，gildsandruinsoft，Whileroundthecharmsitshines。
Allwhichareassensableasthefustpassidge。
AndwiththisI’llalowmyfriendSmith，whohasbeensilentallthistime，tosayafewwords。Hehasnotwrittennearsomuchasme（beinganinfearorgenus，betwigstourselves），buthesaysheneverhadsuchmortialdiffickltywithanythingaswiththedixcripshnoftheplottofyourpease。Herehisletter：——
ToCH—RL—SF—TZR—YPL—NT—G—N—TY—LL—WPL—SH，ESQ。，&c。&c。
30thNov。1839。
MYDEARANDHONOREDSIR，——Ihavethepleasureoflayingbeforeyouthefollowingdescriptionoftheplot，andafewremarksuponthestyleofthepiececalled"TheSeaCaptain。"
Five—and—twentyyearsback，acertainLordArundelhadadaughter，heiressofhisestatesandproperty;apoorcousin，SirMauriceBeevor（beingnextinsuccession）;andapage，ArthurLeMesnilbyname。
Thedaughtertookafancyforthepage，andtheyoungpersonsweremarriedunknowntohislordship。
Threedaysbeforeherconfinement（thinking，nodoubt，thatperiodfavorablefortravelling），theyoungcouplehadagreedtorunawaytogether，andhadreachedachapelnearonthesea—coast，fromwhichtheyweretoembark，whenLordArundelabruptlyputastoptotheirproceedingsbycausingoneGaussen，apirate，tomurderthepage。
HisdaughterwascarriedbacktoArundelHouse，and，inthreedays，gavebirthtoason。WhetherhislordshipknewofthisbirthI
cannotsay;theinfant，however，wasneveracknowledged，butcarriedbySirMauriceBeevortoapriest，Onslowbyname，whoeducatedtheladandkepthimfortwelveyearsinprofoundignoranceofhisbirth。TheboywentbythenameofNorman。
LadyArundelmeanwhilemarriedagain，againbecameawidow，buthadasecondson，whowastheacknowledgedheir，andcalledLordAshdale。OldLordArundeldied，andherladyshipbecamecountessinherownright。
WhenNormanwasabouttwelveyearsofage，hismother，whowishedto"WAFTyoungArthurtoadistantland，"hadhimsentonboardship。WhoshouldthecaptainoftheshipbebutGaussen，whoreceivedasmartbribefromSirMauriceBeevortokillthelad。
Accordingly，Gaussentiedhimtoaplank，andpitchedhimoverboard……
Aboutthirteenyearsafterthesecircumstances，Violet，anorphannieceofLadyArundel’ssecondhusband，cametopassafewweekswithherladyship。Shehadjustcomefromasea—voyage，andhadbeensavedfromawickedAlgerinebyanEnglishseacaptain。ThisseacaptainwasnootherthanNorman，whohadbeenpickedupoffhisplank，andfellinlovewith，andwaslovedby，MissViolet。
AshorttimeafterViolet’sarrivalatheraunt’sthecaptaincametopayheravisit，hisshipanchoringoffthecoast，nearLadyArundel’sresidence。Byasingularcoincidence，thatrogueGaussen’sshipanchoredintheharbortoo。Gaussenatonceknewhisman，forhehad"tracked"him，（afterdrowninghim，）andheinformedSirMauriceBeevorthatyoungNormanwasalive。
SirMauriceBeevorinformedherladyship。Howshouldshegetridofhim？Inthiswise。HewasinlovewithViolet，lethimmarryherandbeoff;forLordAshdalewasinlovewithhiscousintoo;
and，ofcourse，couldnotmarryayoungwomaninherstationoflife。"Youhaveachaplainonboard，"saysherladyshiptoCaptainNorman;"lethimattendto—nightintheruinedchapel，marryViolet，andawaywithyoutosea。"Bythismeansshehopedtobequitofhimforever。
ButunfortunatelytheconversationhadbeenoverheardbyBeevor，andreportedtoAshdale。AshdaledeterminedtobeatthechapelandcarryoffViolet;asforBeevor，hesentGaussentothechapeltokillbothAshdaleandNorman;thustherewouldonlybeLadyArundelbetweenhimandthetitle。
Norman，inthemeanwhile，whohadbeenwalkingnearthechapel，hadjustseenhisworthyoldfriend，thepriest，mostbarbarouslymurderedthere。SirMauriceBeevorhadsetGaussenuponhim;hisreverencewascomingwiththepapersconcerningNorman’sbirth，whichBeevorwantedinordertoextortmoneyfromthecountess。
Gaussenwas，however，obligedtorunbeforehegotthepapers;andtheclergymanhadtime，beforehedied，totellNormanthestory，andgivehimthedocuments，withwhichNormanspedofftothecastletohaveaninterviewwithhismother。
Helayshiswhitecloakandhatonthetable，andbegstobeleftalonewithherladyship。LordAshdale，whoisintheroom，surlilyquitsit;but，goingout，cunninglyputsonNorman’scloak。"Itwillbedark，"sayshe，"downatthechapel;Violetwon’tknowme;
and，egad！I’llrunoffwithher！"
Normanhashisinterview。Herladyshipacknowledgeshim，forshecannothelpit;butwillnotembracehim，lovehim，orhaveanythingtodowithhim。
Awayhegoestothechapel。HischaplainwastherewaitingtomarryhimtoViolet，hisboatwastheretocarryhimonboardhisship，andVioletwasthere，too。
"Norman，"saysshe，inthedark，"dearNorman，Iknewyoubyyourwhitecloak;hereIam。"Andsheandthemaninacloakgoofftotheinnerchapeltobemarried。
TherewaitsMasterGaussen;hehasseizedthechaplainandtheboat’screw，andisjustabouttomurderthemaninthecloak，when——
NORMANrushesinandcutshimdown，muchtothesurpriseofMiss，forsheneversuspecteditwasslyAshdalewhohadcome，aswehaveseen，disguised，andverynearlypaidforhismasquerading。
Ashdaleisverygrateful;but，whenNormanpersistsinmarryingViolet，hesays——no，heshan’t。Heshallfight;heisacowardifhedoesn’tfight。Normanflingsdownhissword，andsaysheWON’T
fight;and——
LadyArundel，whohasbeenatprayersallthistime，rushingin，says，"Hold！thisisyourbrother，Percy——yourelderbrother！"
HereissomerestivenessonAshdale’spart，buthefinishesbyembracinghisbrother。
Normanburnsallthepapers;vowshewillneverpeach;reconcileshimselfwithhismother;sayshewillgoloser;but，havingorderedhisshipto"veer"roundtothechapel，ordersittoveerbackagain，forhewillpassthehoneymoonatArundelCastle。
Asyouhavebeenpleasedtoaskmyopinion，itstrikesmethatthereareoneortwoverygoodnotionsinthisplot。Buttheauthordoesnotfail，ashewouldmodestlyhaveusbelieve，fromignoranceofstage—business;heseemstoknowtoomuch，ratherthantoolittle，aboutthestage;tobetooanxioustocramineffects，incidents，perplexities。ThereistheperplexityconcerningAshdale’smurder，andNorman’smurder，andthepriest’smurder，andthepage’smurder，andGaussen’smurder。Thereistheperplexityaboutthepapers，andthataboutthehatandcloak，（asilly，foolishobstacle，）whichonlytantalizethespectator，andretardthemarchofthedrama’saction：itisasiftheauthorhadsaid，"Imusthaveanewincidentineveryact，Imustkeepticklingthespectatorperpetually，andneverlethimoffuntilthefallofthecurtain。"
Thesamedisagreeablebustleandpettycomplicationofintrigueyoumayremarkintheauthor’sdramaof"Richelieu。""TheLadyofLyons"wasamuchsimplerandbetterwroughtplot;theincidentsfollowingeachothereithernottooswiftlyorstartlingly。In"Richelieu，"italwaysseemedtomeasifonehearddoorsperpetuallyclappingandbanging;onewaspuzzledtofollowthetrainofconversation，inthemidstoftheperpetualsmallnoisesthatdistractedonerightandleft。
Noristhelistofcharactersof"TheSeaCaptain"tobedespised。
Theoutlinesofallofthemaregood。Amother，forwhomonefeelsapropertragicmixtureofhatredandpity;agallantsingle—
heartedson，whomshedisdains，andwhoconquersheratlastbyhisnobleconduct;adashinghaughtyTybaltofabrother;awickedpoorcousin，aprettymaid，andafiercebuccaneer。Thesepeoplemightpassthreehoursverywellonthestage，andinteresttheaudiencehugely;buttheauthorfailsinfillinguptheoutlines。Hislanguageisabsurdlystilted，frequentlycareless;thereaderorspectatorhearsanumberofloudspeeches，butscarceadozenlinesthatseemtobelongofnaturetothespeakers。
Nothingcanbemorefulsomeorloathsometomymindthanthecontinualsham—religiousclap—trapswhichtheauthorhasputintothemouthofhishero;nothingmoreunsailor—likethanhisnamby—
pambystarlitdescriptions，whichmyingeniouscolleaguehas，I
see，alludedto。"Thyfaithmyanchor，andthineeyesmyhaven，"
criesthegallantcaptaintohislady。Seehowlooselythesentenceisconstructed，likeathousandothersinthebook。Thecaptainistocastanchorwiththegirl’sfaithinherowneyes;
eitherimagemightpassbyitself，buttogether，likethequadrupedsofKilkenny，theydevoureachother。ThecaptaintellshislieutenanttoBIDHISBARKVEERROUNDtoapointintheharbor。
Waseversuchlanguage？MyladygivesSirMauriceathousandpoundstoWAFThim（herson）tosomedistantshore。Nonsense，sheernonsense;andwhatisworse，affectednonsense！
Lookatthecomedyofthepoorcousin。"Thereisagreatdealofgameontheestate——partridges，hares，wild—geese，snipes，andplovers（SMACKINGHISLIPS）——besidesamagnificentpreserveofsparrows，whichIcansellTOTHELITTLEBLACKGUARDSinthestreetsatapennyahundred。ButIamverypoor——averypooroldknight！"
Isthiswitornature？Itisakindofshamwit;itreadsasifitwerewit，butitisnot。Whatpoor，poorstuff，aboutthelittleblackguardboys！whatflimsyecstasiesandsilly"smackingoflips"
abouttheplovers。Isthisthemanwhowritesforthenextage？
Ofie！Hereisanotherjoke：——
"SirMaurice。Mice！zounds，howcanI
Keepmice！Ican’taffordit！TheywerestarvedTodeathanageago。ThelastwasfoundComeChristmasthreeyears，stretchedbesideaboneInthatsamelarder，soconsumedandwornBypiousfast，’twasawfultobeholdit！
Icanonizeditscorpseinspiritsofwine，Andsetitintheporch——asolemnwarningTothievesandbeggars！"
Isnotthisrarewit？"Zounds！howcanIkeepmice？"iswellenoughforamiser;nottoonew，orbrillianteither;butthismiserabledilutionofathinjoke，thiswretchedhuntingdownofthepoormouse！Itishumiliatingtothinkofamanofespritharpingsolongonsuchamean，pitifulstring。Amanwhoaspirestoimmortality，too！Idoubtwhetheritistobegainedthus;
whetherourauthor’swordsarenottoolooselybuilttomake"starrypointingpyramidsof。"Horaceclippedandsquaredhisblocksmorecarefullybeforehelaidthemonumentwhichimberedax，oraquilaimpotens，orfugatemporummightassailinvain。EvenoldOvid，whenheraisedhisstately，shiningheathentemple，hadplacedsomecolumnsinit，andhewnoutastatueortwowhichdeservedtheimmortalitythatheprophesied（somewhatarrogantly）
forhimself。Butletnotallbelookingforwardtoafuture，andfancyingthat，"incertispatiumdumfiniataevi，"ourbooksaretobeimmortal。Alas！thewaytoimmortalityisnotsoeasy，norwillour"SeaCaptain"bepermittedsuchanunconscionablecruise。Ifalltheimmortalitieswerereallytohavetheirwish，whataworkwouldourdescendantshavetostudythemall！
Notyet，inmyhumbleopinion，hasthehonorablebaronetachievedthisdeathlessconsummation。Therewillcomeaday（mayitbelongdistant！）whentheverybestofhisnovelswillbeforgotten;anditisreasonabletosupposethathisdramaswillpassoutofexistence，sometimeorother，inthelapseoftheseculaseculorum。Inthemeantime，mydearPlush，ifyouaskmewhatthegreatobstacleistowardsthedramaticfameandmeritofourfriend，Iwouldsaythatitdoesnotliesomuchinhostilecriticsorfeeblehealth，asinacarelesshabitofwriting，andapeevishvanitywhichcauseshimtoshuthiseyestohisfaults。ThequestionoforiginalcapacityIwillnotmoot;onemaythinkveryhighlyofthehonorablebaronet’stalent，withoutratingitquitesohighasheseemsdisposedtodo。
Andtoconclude：ashehaschosentocombatthecriticsinperson，thecriticsaresurelyjustifiedinbeingallowedtoaddresshimdirectly。
WithbestcomplimentstoMrs。Yellowplush，Ihavethehonortobe，dearSir，Yourmostfaithfulandobligedhumbleservant，JOHNTHOMASSMITH。
Andnow，Smithhavingfinishthisletter，IthinkIcan’tdobetterthanclothesminelickwise;forthoughIshouldneverbetiredoftalking，prapsthepublicmayofhearing，andthereforeit’sbesttoshutupshopp。
WhatI’vesaid，respectedBarnit，Ihoapyouwoan’ttakeunkind。A
play，yousee，ispublicpropertyforeveryonetosayhissayon;
andIthink，ifyoureadyourprefezoveragin，you’llseethatitaxasadirectincouridgmenttouscritixtocomeforrardandnoticeyou。Butdon’tfansy，Ibesitchyou，thatweareactiatedbyhostillaty;fustwriteagoodplay，andyou’llseewe’llpraysitfastenuff。Waitingwhich，Agray，MunseerleChevaleer，l’ashurancedemahotcumsideratun。
Voterdistangy，Y。