Ihadheardanoldarmysurgeonsayawoundinthespinewasinstantdeath。Inowdeterminedtotrytheexperiment,andhadagainrecoursetomyknife,withwhichIstruckthelargestinthebackoftheneck,neartheshoulders,butundergreatapprehensions,notdoubtingbutthecreaturewould,ifhesurvivedthestab,tearmetopieces。
  However,Iwasremarkablyfortunate,forhefelldeadatmyfeetwithoutmakingtheleastnoise。Iwasnowresolvedtodemolishthemeveryoneinthesamemanner,whichIaccomplishedwithouttheleastdifficulty;foralthoughtheysawtheircompanionsfall,theyhadnosuspicionofeitherthecauseortheeffect。Whentheyalllaydeadbeforeme,IfeltmyselfasecondSamson,havingslainmythousands。
  Tomakeshortofthestory,Iwentbacktotheship,andborrowedthreepartsofthecrewtoassistmeinskinningthem,andcarryingthehamsonboard,whichwedidinafewhours,andloadedtheshipwiththem。Astotheotherpartsoftheanimals,theywerethrownintothesea,thoughIdoubtnotbutthewholewouldeataswellasthelegs,weretheyproperlycured。
  AssoonaswereturnedIsentsomeofthehams,inthecaptain’sname,totheLordsofAdmiralty,otherstotheLordsoftheTreasury,sometotheLordMayorandCorporationofLondon,afewtoeachofthetradingcompanies,andtheremaindertomyparticularfriends,fromallofwhomIreceivedwarmthanks;butfromthecityIwashonouredwithsubstantialnotice,viz。,aninvitationtodineatGuildhallannuallyonLordMayor’sday。
  Thebear—skinsIsenttotheEmpressofRussia,toclothehermajestyandhercourtinthewinter,forwhichshewrotemealetterofthankswithherownhand,andsentitbyanambassadorextraordinary,invitingmetosharethehonoursofhercrown;butasIneverwasambitiousofroyaldignity,Ideclinedhermajesty’sfavourinthepolitestterms。Thesameambassadorhadorderstowaitandbringmyanswertohermajesty/personally/,uponwhichbusinesshewasabsentaboutthreemonths:hermajesty’sreplyconvincedmeofthestrengthofheraffections,andthedignityofhermind;herlateindispositionwasentirelyowing(asshe,kindcreature!waspleasedtoexpressherselfinalateconversationwiththePrinceDolgoroucki)tomycruelty。WhatthesexseeinmeIcannotconceive,buttheEmpressisnottheonlyfemalesovereignwhohasofferedmeherhand。
  SomepeoplehaveveryilliberallyreportedthatCaptainPhippsdidnotproceedasfarashemighthavedoneuponthatexpedition。Hereitbecomesmydutytoacquithim;ourshipwasinaverypropertrimtillIloadeditwithsuchanimmensequantityofbear—skinsandhams,afterwhichitwouldhavebeenmadnesstohaveattemptedtoproceedfurther,aswewerenowscarcelyabletocombatabriskgale,muchlessthosemountainsoficewhichlayinthehigherlatitudes。
  Thecaptainhassinceoftenexpressedadissatisfactionthathehadnoshareinthehonoursofthatday,whichheemphaticallycalled/bear—
  skinday/。HehasalsobeenverydesirousofknowingbywhatartI
  destroyedsomanythousands,withoutfatigueordangertomyself;
  indeed,heissoambitiousofdividingtheglorywithme,thatwehaveactuallyquarrelledaboutit,andwearenotnowuponspeakingterms。
  HeboldlyassertsIhadnomeritindeceivingthebears,becauseIwascoveredwithoneoftheirskins;nay,hedeclaresthereisnot,inhisopinion,inEurope,socompleteabearnaturallyashimselfamongthehumanspecies。
  Heisnowanoblepeer,andIamtoowellacquaintedwithgoodmannerstodisputesodelicateapointwithhislordship。
  CHAPTERXIV
  /OurBaronexcelsBaronTottbeyondallcomparison,yetfailsinpartofhisattempt——GetsintodisgracewiththeGrandSeignior,whoordershisheadtobecutoff——Escapes,andgetsonboardavessel,inwhichheiscarriedtoVenice——BaronTott’sorigin,withsomeaccountofthatgreatman’sparents——PopeGanganelli’samour——HisHolinessfondofshell—fish。/
  BarondeTott,inhisMemoirs,makesasgreataparadeofasingleactasmanytravellerswhosewholeliveshavebeenspentinseeingthedifferentpartsoftheglobe;formypart,ifIhadbeenblownfromEuropetoAsiafromthemouthofacannon,IshouldhaveboastedlessofitafterwardsthanhehasdoneofonlyfiringoffaTurkishpieceofordnance。Whathesaysofthiswonderfulgun,asnearasmymemorywillserveme,isthis:——"TheTurkshadplacedbelowthecastle,andnearthecity,onthebanksofSimois,acelebratedriver,anenormouspieceofordnancecastinbrass,whichwouldcarryamarbleballofelevenhundredpoundsweight。Iwasinclined,"saysTott,"tofireit,butIwaswillingfirsttojudgeofitseffect;thecrowdaboutmetrembledatthisproposal,astheyasserteditwouldoverthrownotonlythecastle,butthecityalso;atlengththeirfearsinpartsubsided,andIwaspermittedtodischargeit。Itrequirednotlessthanthreehundredandthirtypounds’weightofpowder,andtheballweighed,asbeforementioned,elevenhundredweight。Whentheengineerbroughtthepriming,thecrowdswhowereaboutmeretreatedbackasfastastheycould;nay,itwaswiththeutmostdifficultyIpersuadedthePacha,whocameonpurpose,therewasnodanger:eventheengineerwhowastodischargeitbymydirectionwasconsiderablyalarmed。I
  tookmystandonsomestone—workbehindthecannon,gavethesignal,andfeltashocklikethatofearthquake!Atthedistanceofthreehundredfathomtheballburstintothreepieces;thefragmentscrossedthestrait,reboundedontheoppositemountain,andleftthesurfaceofthewaterallinafoamthroughthewholebreadthofthechannel。"
  This,gentlemen,is,asnearasIcanrecollect,BaronTott’saccountofthelargestcannonintheknownworld。Now,whenIwastherenotlongsince,theanecdoteofTott’sfiringthistremendouspiecewasmentionedasaproofofthatgentleman’sextraordinarycourage。
  IwasdeterminednottobeoutdonebyaFrenchman,thereforetookthisverypieceuponmyshoulder,and,afterbalancingitproperly,jumpedintotheseawithit,andswamtotheoppositeshore,fromwhenceI
  unfortunatelyattemptedtothrowitbackintoitsformerplace。Isayunfortunately,foritslippedalittleinmyhandjustasIwasabouttodischargeit,andinconsequenceofthatitfellintothemiddleofthechannel,whereitnowlies,withoutaprospectofeverrecoveringit:andnotwithstandingthehighfavourIwasinwiththeGrandSeignior,asbeforementioned,thiscruelTurk,assoonasheheardofthelossofhisfamouspieceofordnance,issuedanordertocutoffmyhead。IwasimmediatelyinformedofitbyoneoftheSultanas,withwhomIwasbecomeagreatfavourite,andshesecretedmeinherapartmentwhiletheofficerchargedwithmyexecutionwas,withhisassistants,insearchofme。
  ThatverynightImademyescapeonboardavesselboundtoVenice,whichwasthenweighinganchortoproceedonhervoyage。
  Thelaststory,gentlemen,Iamnotfondofmentioning,asI
  miscarriedintheattempt,andwasverynearlosingmylifeintothebargain:however,asitcontainsnoimpeachmentofmyhonour,Iwouldnotwithholditfromyou。
  Now,gentlemen,youallknowme,andcanhavenodoubtofmyveracity。
  Iwillentertainyouwiththeoriginofthissameswaggering,bouncingTott。
  HisreputedfatherwasanativeofBerne,inSwitzerland;hisprofessionwasthatofasurveyorofthestreets,lanes,andalleys,vulgarlycalledascavenger。HismotherwasanativeofthemountainsofSavoy,andhadamostbeautifullargewenonherneck,commontobothsexesinthatpartoftheworld;sheleftherparentswhenyoung,andsoughtherfortuneinthesamecitywhichgavehisfatherbirth;
  shemaintainedherselfwhilesinglebyactsofkindnesstooursex,forsheneverwasknowntorefusethemanyfavourtheyasked,providedtheydidbutpayhersomecomplimentbeforehand。Thislovelycouplemetbyaccidentinthestreet,inconsequenceoftheirbeingbothintoxicated,forbyreelingtoonecentretheythreweachotherdown;
  thiscreatedmutualabuse,inwhichtheywerecompleteadepts;theywerebothcarriedtothewatch—house,andafterwardstothehouseofcorrection;theysoonsawthefollyofquarrelling,madeitup,becamefondofeachother,andmarried;butmadamreturningtoheroldtricks,hisfather,whohadhighnotionsofhonour,soonseparatedhimselffromher;shethenjoinedafamilywhostrolledaboutwithapuppet—show。IntimeshearrivedatRome,whereshekeptanoyster—
  stand。Youhaveallheard,nodoubtofPopeGanganelli,commonlycalledClementXIV。:hewasremarkablyfondofoysters。OneGoodFriday,ashewaspassingthroughthisfamouscityinstate,toassistathighmassatSt。Peter’sChurch,hesawthiswoman’soysters(whichwereremarkablyfineandfresh);hecouldnotproceedwithouttastingthem。Therewereaboutfivethousandpeopleinhistrain;heorderedthemalltostop,andsentwordtothechurchhecouldnotattendmasstillnextday;thenalightingfromhishorse(forthePopealwaysridesonhorsebackupontheseoccasions)hewentintoherstall,andateeveryoystershehadthere,andafterwardsretiredintothecellarwhereshehadafewmore。Thissubterraneousapartmentwasherkitchen,parlour,andbed—chamber。Helikedhissituationsomuchthathedischargedallhisattendants,andtomakeshortofthestory,HisHolinesspassedthewholenightthere!Beforetheypartedhegaveherabsolution,notonlyforeverysinshehad,butallshemighthereaftercommit。
  /Now,gentlemen,Ihavehismother’swordforit(andherhonourcannotbedoubted),thatBaronTottisthefruitofthatamour。WhenTottwasborn,hismotherappliedtoHisHoliness,asthefatherofherchild;heimmediatelyplacedhimundertheproperpeople,andashegrewupgavehimagentleman’seducation,hadhimtaughttheuseofarms,procuredhimpromotioninFrance,andatitle,andwhenhediedhelefthimagoodestate。/
  CHAPTERXV
  /AfurtheraccountofthejourneyfromHarwichtoHelvoetsluys——
  Descriptionofanumberofmarineobjectsnevermentionedbyanytravellerbefore——RocksseeninthispassageequaltotheAlpsinmagnitude;lobsters,crabs,&c。,ofanextraordinarymagnitude——A
  woman’slifesaved——Thecauseofherfallingintothesea——Dr。
  Hawes’directionsfollowedwithsuccess。/
  Iomittedseveralverymaterialpartsinmyfather’sjourneyacrosstheEnglishChanneltoHolland,which,thattheymaynotbetotallylostIwillnowfaithfullygiveyouinhisownwords,asIheardhimrelatethemtohisfriendsseveraltimes。
  "Onmyarrival,"saysmyfather,"atHelvoetsluys,Iwasobservedtobreathewithsomedifficulty;upontheinhabitantsinquiringintothecause,IinformedthemthattheanimaluponwhosebackIrodefromHarwichacrosstotheirshoredidnotswim!Suchistheirpeculiarformanddisposition,thattheycannotfloatormoveuponthesurfaceofthewater;heranwithincredibleswiftnessuponthesandsfromtheshore,drivingfishinmillionsbeforehim,manyofwhichwerequitedifferentfromanyIhadyetseen,carryingtheirheadsattheextremityoftheirtails。Icrossed,"continuedhe,"oneprodigiousrangeofrocks,equalinheighttotheAlps(thetopsorhighestpartsofthesemarinemountainsaresaidtobeupwardsofonehundredfathomsbelowthesurfaceofthesea),onthesidesofwhichtherewasagreatvarietyoftall,nobletrees,loadedwithmarinefruit,suchaslobsters,crabs,oysters,scollops,mussels,cockles,&c。&c。;someofwhichwereacart—loadsingly!andnonelessthanaporter’s!Allthosewhicharebroughtonshoreandsoldinourmarketsareofaninferiordwarfkind,or,properly,waterfalls,/i。e。/,fruitshookoffthebranchesofthetreeitgrowsuponbythemotionofthewater,asthoseinourgardensarebythatofthewind!Thelobster—treesappearedtherichest,butthecrabandoysterswerethetallest。Theperiwinkleisakindofshrub;itgrowsatthefootoftheoyster—
  tree,andtwinesrounditastheivydoestheoak。Iobservedtheeffectofseveralaccidentsbyshipwreck,&c。,particularlyashipthathadbeenwreckedbystrikingagainstamountainorrock,thetopofwhichlaywithinthreefathomsofthesurface。Asshesankshefelluponherside,andforcedaverylargelobster—treeoutofitsplace。
  Itwasinthespring,whenthelobsterswereveryyoung,andmanyofthembeingseparatedbytheviolenceoftheshock,theyfelluponacrab—treewhichwasgrowingbelowthem;theyhave,likethefarinaofplants,united,andproducedafishresemblingboth。Iendeavouredtobringonewithme,butitwastoocumbersome,andmysalt—waterPegasusseemedmuchdispleasedateveryattempttostophiscareerwhilstIcontinueduponhisback;besides,Iwasthen,thoughgallopingoveramountainofrocksthatlayaboutmidwaythepassage,atleastfivehundredfathombelowthesurfaceofthesea,andbegantofindthewantofairinconvenient,thereforeIhadnoinclinationtoprolongthetime。Addtothis,mysituationwasinotherrespectsveryunpleasant;Imetmanylargefish,whowere,ifIcouldjudgebytheiropenmouths,notonlyable,butreallywishedtodevourus;now,asmyRosinantewasblind,Ihadthesehungrygentlemen’sattemptstoguardagainst,inadditiontomyotherdifficulties。
  "AswedrewneartheDutchshore,andthebodyofwateroverourheadsdidnotexceedtwentyfathoms,IthoughtIsawahumanfigureinafemaledressthenlyingonthesandbeforemewithsomesignsoflife;
  whenIcamecloseIperceivedherhandmove:Itookitintomine,andbroughtheronshoreasacorpse。Anapothecary,whohadjustbeeninstructedbyDr。Hawes[theBaron’sfathermusthavelivedverylatelyifDr。Haweswashispreceptor],ofLondon,treatedherproperly,andsherecovered。ShewastheribofamanwhocommandedavesselbelongingtoHelvoetsluys。Hewasjustgoingoutofportonavoyage,whenshe,hearinghehadgotamistresswithhim,followedhiminanopenboat。Assoonasshehadgotonthequarter—decksheflewatherhusband,andattemptedtostrikehimwithsuchimpetuosity,thathethoughtitmostprudenttoslipononeside,andlethermaketheimpressionofherfingersuponthewavesratherthanhisface:hewasnotmuchoutinhisideasoftheconsequence;formeetingnoopposition,shewentdirectlyoverboard,anditwasmyunfortunatelottolaythefoundationforbringingthishappypairtogetheragain。
  "Icaneasilyconceivewhatexecrationsthehusbandloadedmewithwhen,onhisreturn,hefoundthisgentlecreaturewaitinghisarrival,andlearnedthemeansbywhichshecameintotheworldagain。
  However,greatastheinjuryiswhichIhavedonethispoordevil,I
  hopehewilldieincharitywithme,asmymotivewasgood,thoughtheconsequencestohimare,itmustbeconfessed,horrible。"
  CHAPTERXVI
  /Thisisaveryshortchapter,butcontainsafactforwhichtheBaron’smemoryoughttobedeartoeveryEnglishman,especiallythosewhomayhereafterhavethemisfortuneofbeingmadeprisonersofwar。/
  OnmyreturnfromGibraltarItravelledbywayofFrancetoEngland。
  Beingaforeigner,thiswasnotattendedwithanyinconveniencetome。
  Ifound,intheharbourofCalais,ashipjustarrivedwithanumberofEnglishsailorsasprisonersofwar。Iimmediatelyconceivedanideaofgivingthesebravefellowstheirliberty,whichIaccomplishedasfollows:——Afterformingapairoflargewings,eachofthemfortyyardslong,andfourteenwide,andannexingthemtomyself,Imountedatbreakofday,wheneverycreature,eventhewatchupondeck,wasfastasleep。AsIhoveredovertheshipIfastenedthreegrapplingironstothetopsofthethreemastswithmysling,andfairlyliftedherseveralyardsoutofthewater,andthenproceededacrosstoDover,whereIarrivedinhalfanhour!Havingnofurtheroccasionforthesewings,ImadethemapresenttothegovernorofDoverCastle,wheretheyarenowexhibitedtothecurious。
  Astotheprisoners,andtheFrenchmenwhoguardedthem,theydidnotawaketilltheyhadbeenneartwohoursonDoverPier。ThemomenttheEnglishunderstoodtheirsituationtheychangedplaceswiththeirguard,andtookbackwhattheyhadbeenplunderedof,butnomore,fortheyweretoogeneroustoretaliateandplundertheminreturn。
  CHAPTERXVII
  /Voyageeastward——TheBaronintroducesafriendwhoneverdeceivedhim:winsahundredguineasbypinninghisfaithuponthatfriend’snose——Gamestartedatsea——Someothercircumstanceswhichwill,itishoped,affordthereadernosmalldegreeofamusement。/
  InavoyagewhichImadetotheEastIndieswithCaptainHamilton,I
  tookafavouritepointerwithme;hewas,touseacommonphrase,worthhisweightingold,forheneverdeceivedme。Onedaywhenwewere,bythebestobservationswecouldmake,atleastthreehundredleaguesfromland,mydogpointed;Iobservedhimfornearanhourwithastonishment,andmentionedthecircumstancetothecaptainandeveryofficeronboard,assertingthatwemustbenearland,formydogsmeltgame。Thisoccasionedagenerallaugh;butthatdidnotalterintheleastthegoodopinionIhadofmydog。Aftermuchconversationproandcon,IboldlytoldthecaptainIplacedmoreconfidenceinTray’snosethanIdidintheeyesofeveryseamanonboard,andthereforeproposedlayingthesumIhadagreedtopayformypassage(viz。,onehundredguineas)thatweshouldfindgamewithinhalfanhour。Thecaptain(agood,heartyfellow)laughedagain,desiredMr。Crowfordthesurgeon,whowasprepared,tofeelmypulse;
  hedidso,andreportedmeinperfecthealth。Thefollowingdialoguebetweenthemtookplace;Ioverheardit,thoughspokenlow,andatsomedistance。
  CAPTAIN
  Hisbrainisturned;Icannotwithhonouraccepthiswager。
  SURGEON
  Iamofadifferentopinion;heisquitesane,anddependsmoreuponthescentofhisdogthanhewilluponthejudgmentofalltheofficersonboard;hewillcertainlylose,andherichlymeritsit。
  CAPTAIN
  Suchawagercannotbefaironmyside;however,I’lltakehimup,ifIreturnhismoneyafterwards。
  DuringtheaboveconversationTraycontinuedinthesamesituation,andconfirmedmestillmoreinmyformeropinion。Iproposedthewagerasecondtime,itwasthenaccepted。
  Done!anddone!werescarcelysaidonbothsides,whensomesailorswhowerefishinginthelong—boat,whichwasmadefasttothesternoftheship,harpoonedanexceedinglargeshark,whichtheybroughtonboardandbegantocutupforthepurposeofbarrellingtheoil,when,behold,theyfoundnolessthan/sixbraceoflivepartridges/inthisanimal’sstomach!
  Theyhadbeensolonginthatsituation,thatoneofthehenswassittinguponfoureggs,andafifthwashatchingwhenthesharkwasopened!!!Thisyoungbirdwebroughtupbyplacingitwithalitterofkittensthatcameintotheworldafewminutesbefore!Theoldcatwasasfondofitasofanyofherownfour—leggedprogeny,andmadeherselfveryunhappy,whenitflewoutofherreach,tillitreturnedagain。Astotheotherpartridges,therewerefourhensamongstthem;
  oneormorewere,duringthevoyage,constantlysitting,andconsequentlywehadplentyofgameatthecaptain’stable;andingratitudetopoorTray(forbeingameansofwinningonehundredguineas)Iorderedhimthebonesdaily,andsometimesawholebird。
  CHAPTERXVIII
  ASECONDTRIPTOTHEMOON。
  /Asecondvisit(butanaccidentalone)tothemoon——Theshipdrivenbyawhirlwindathousandleaguesabovethesurfaceofthewater,whereanewatmospheremeetsthemandcarriesthemintoacapaciousharbourinthemoon——Adescriptionoftheinhabitants,andtheirmannerofcomingintothelunarianworld——Animals,customs,weaponsofwar,wine,vegetables,&c。/
  IhavealreadyinformedyouofonetripImadetothemoon,insearchofmysilverhatchet;Iafterwardsmadeanotherinamuchpleasantermanner,andstayedinitlongenoughtotakenoticeofseveralthings,whichIwillendeavourtodescribeasaccuratelyasmymemorywillpermit。
  Iwentonavoyageofdiscoveryattherequestofadistantrelation,whohadastrangenotionthattherewerepeopletobefoundequalinmagnitudetothosedescribedbyGulliverintheempireofBROBDIGNAG。
  FormypartIalwaystreatedthataccountasfabulous:however,toobligehim,forhehadmademehisheir,Iundertookit,andsailedfortheSouthseas,wherewearrivedwithoutmeetingwithanythingremarkable,exceptsomeflyingmenandwomenwhowereplayingatleap—
  frog,anddancingminuetsintheair。
  OntheeighteenthdayafterwehadpassedtheIslandofOtaheite,mentionedbyCaptainCookastheplacefromwhencetheybroughtOmai,ahurricaneblewourshipatleastonethousandleaguesabovethesurfaceofthewater,andkeptitattheheighttillafreshgalearisingfilledthesailsineverypart,andonwardswetravelledataprodigiousrate;thusweproceededabovethecloudsforsixweeks。Atlastwediscoveredagreatlandinthesky,likeashiningisland,roundandbright,where,comingintoaconvenientharbour,wewentonshore,andsoonfounditwasinhabited。Belowuswesawanotherearth,containingcities,trees,mountains,rivers,seas,&c。,whichweconjecturedwasthisworldwhichwehadleft。Herewesawhugefiguresridinguponvulturesofaprodigioussize,andeachofthemhavingthreeheads。Toformsomeideaofthemagnitudeofthesebirds,Imustinformyouthateachoftheirwingsisaswideandsixtimesthelengthofthemainsheetofourvessel,whichwasaboutsixhundredtonsburthen。Thus,insteadofridinguponhorses,aswedointhisworld,theinhabitantsofthemoon(forwenowfoundwewereinMadamLuna)flyaboutonthesebirds。Theking,wefound,wasengagedinawarwiththesun,andheofferedmeacommission,butIdeclinedthehonourhismajestyintendedme。Everythingin/this/worldisofextraordinarymagnitude!acommonfleabeingmuchlargerthanoneofoursheep:inmakingwar,theirprincipalweaponsareradishes,whichareusedasdarts:thosewhoarewoundedbythemdieimmediately。
  Theirshieldsaremadeofmushrooms,andtheirdarts(whenradishesareoutofseason)ofthetopsofasparagus。Someofthenativesofthedog—stararetobeseenhere;commercetemptsthemtoramble;
  theirfacesarelikelargemastiffs’,withtheireyesnearthelowerendortipoftheirnoses:theyhavenoeyelids,butcovertheireyeswiththeendoftheirtongueswhentheygotosleep;theyaregenerallytwentyfeethigh。Astothenativesofthemoon,noneofthemarelessinstaturethanthirty—sixfeet:theyarenotcalledthehumanspecies,butthecookinganimals,fortheyalldresstheirfoodbyfire,aswedo,butlosenottimeattheirmeals,astheyopentheirleftside,andplacethewholequantityatonceintheirstomach,thenshutitagaintillthesamedayinthenextmonth;fortheyneverindulgethemselveswithfoodmorethantwelvetimesayear,oronceamonth。Allbutgluttonsandepicuresmustpreferthismethodtoours。
  Thereisbutonesexeitherofthecookingoranyotheranimalsinthemoon;theyareallproducedfromtreesofvarioussizesandfoliage;
  thatwhichproducesthecookinganimal,orhumanspecies,ismuchmorebeautifulthananyoftheothers;ithaslargestraightboughsandflesh—colouredleaves,andthefruititproducesarenutsorpods,withhardshellsatleasttwoyardslong;whentheybecomeripe,whichisknownfromtheirchangingcolour,theyaregatheredwithgreatcare,andlaidbyaslongastheythinkproper:whentheychoosetoanimatetheseedofthesenuts,theythrowthemintoalargecauldronofboilingwater,whichopenstheshellsinafewhours,andoutjumpsthecreature。
  Natureformstheirmindsfordifferentpursuitsbeforetheycomeintotheworld;fromoneshellcomesforthawarrior,fromanotheraphilosopher,fromathirdadivine,fromafourthalawyer,fromafifthafarmer,fromasixthaclown,&c。&c。,andeachofthemimmediatelybeginstoperfectthemselves,bypractisingwhattheybeforeknewonlyintheory。
  Whentheygrowoldtheydonotdie,butturnintoair,anddissolvelikesmoke!Asfortheirdrink,theyneednone;theonlyevacuationstheyhaveareinsensible,andbytheirbreath。Theyhavebutonefingeruponeachhand,withwhichtheyperformeverythinginasperfectamanneraswedowhohavefourbesidesthethumb。Theirheadsareplacedundertheirrightarm,andwhenaregoingtotravel,oraboutanyviolentexercise,theygenerallyleavethemathome,fortheycanconsultthematanydistance;thisisaverycommonpractice;
  andwhenthoseofrankorqualityamongtheLunarianshaveaninclinationtoseewhat’sgoingforwardamongthecommonpeople,theystayathome,/i。e。/,thebodystaysathome,andsendstheheadonly,whichissufferedtobepresent/incog。/,andreturnatpleasurewithanaccountofwhathaspassed。
  Thestonesoftheirgrapesareexactlylikehail;andIamperfectlysatisfiedthatwhenastormorhighwindinthemoonshakestheirvines,andbreaksthegrapesfromthestalks,thestonesfalldownandformourhailshowers。Iwouldadvisethosewhoareofmyopiniontosaveaquantityofthesestoneswhenithailsnext,andmakeLunarianwine。ItisacommonbeverageatSt。Luke’s。SomematerialcircumstancesIhadnearlyomitted。Theyputtheirbelliestothesameuseaswedoasack,andthrowwhatevertheyhaveoccasionforintoit,fortheycanshutandopenitagainwhentheyplease,astheydotheirstomachs;theyarenottroubledwithbowels,liver,heart,oranyotherintestines,neitheraretheyencumberedwithclothes,noristhereanypartoftheirbodiesunseemlyorindecenttoexhibit。
  Theireyestheycantakeinandoutoftheirplaceswhentheyplease,andcanseeaswellwiththemintheirhandasintheirhead!andifbyanyaccidenttheyloseordamageone,theycanborroworpurchaseanother,andseeasclearlywithitastheirown。Dealersineyesareonthataccountverynumerousinmostpartsofthemoon,andinthisarticlealonealltheinhabitantsarewhimsical:sometimesgreenandsometimesyelloweyesarethefashion。Iknowthesethingsappearstrange;butiftheshadowofadoubtcanremainonanyperson’smind,Isay,lethimtakeavoyagetherehimself,andthenhewillknowIamatravellerofveracity。
  CHAPTERXIX
  /TheBaroncrossestheThameswithouttheassistanceofabridge,ship,boat,balloon,orevenhisownwill:rouseshimselfafteralongnap,anddestroysamonsterwholiveduponthedestructionofothers。/
  MyfirstvisittoEnglandwasaboutthebeginningofthepresentking’sreign。IhadoccasiontogodowntoWapping,toseesomegoodsshipped,whichIwassendingtosomefriendsatHamburgh;afterthatbusinesswasover,ItooktheTowerWharfinmywayback。HereIfoundthesunverypowerful,andIwassomuchfatiguedthatIsteppedintooneofthecannontocomposeme,whereIfellfastasleep。Thiswasaboutnoon:itwasthefourthofJune;exactlyatoneo’clockthesecannonwerealldischargedinmemoryoftheday。Theyhadbeenallchargedthatmorning,andhavingnosuspicionofmysituation,Iwasshotoverthehousesontheoppositesideoftheriver,intoafarmer’syard,betweenBermondseyandDeptford,whereIfelluponalargehay—stack,withoutwaking,andcontinuedthereinasoundsleeptillhaybecamesoextravagantlydear(whichwasaboutthreemonthsafter),thatthefarmerfoundithisinteresttosendhiswholestocktomarket:thestackIwasreposinguponwasthelargestintheyard,containingabovefivehundredload;theybegantocutthatfirst。I
  wokewiththevoicesofthepeoplewhohadascendedtheladderstobeginatthetop,andgotup,totallyignorantofmysituation:inattemptingtorunawayIfelluponthefarmertowhomthehaybelonged,andbrokehisneck,yetreceivednoinjurymyself。I
  afterwardsfound,tomygreatconsolation,thatthisfellowwasamostdetestablecharacter,alwayskeepingtheproduceofhisgroundsforextravagantmarkets。
  CHAPTERXX
  /TheBaronslipsthroughtheworld:afterpayingavisittoMountEtnahefindshimselfintheSouthSea;visitsVulcaninhispassage;getsonboardaDutchman;arrivesatanislandofcheese,surroundedbyaseaofmilk;describessomeveryextraordinaryobjects——Losetheircompass;theirshipslipsbetweentheteethofafishunknowninthispartoftheworld;theirdifficultyinescapingfromthence;arriveintheCaspianSea——Starvesabeartodeath——Afewwaistcoatanecdotes——Inthischapter,whichisthelongest,theBaronmoralisesuponthevirtueofveracity。/
  Mr。Drybones’"TravelstoSicily,"whichIhadreadwithgreatpleasure,inducedmetopayavisittoMountEtna;myvoyagetothisplacewasnotattendedwithanycircumstancesworthrelating。Onemorningearly,threeorfourdaysaftermyarrival,IsetoutfromacottagewhereIhadslept,withinsixmilesofthefootofthemountain,determinedtoexploretheinternalparts,ifIperishedintheattempt。Afterthreehours’hardlabourIfoundmyselfatthetop;
  itwasthen,andhadbeenforupwardsofthreeweeks,raging:itsappearanceinthisstatehasbeensofrequentlynoticedbydifferenttravellers,thatIwillnottireyouwithdescriptionsofobjectsyouarealreadyacquaintedwith。Iwalkedroundtheedgeofthecrater,whichappearedtobefiftytimesatleastascapaciousastheDevil’sPunch—BowlnearPetersfield,onthePortsmouthRoad,butnotsobroadatthebottom,asinthatpartitresemblesthecontractedpartofafunnelmorethanapunch—bowl。Atlast,havingmadeupmymind,inI
  sprangfeetforemost;Isoonfoundmyselfinawarmberth,andmybodybruisedandburntinvariouspartsbythered—hotcinders,which,bytheirviolentascent,opposedmydescent:however,myweightsoonbroughtmetothebottom,whereIfoundmyselfinthemidstofnoiseandclamour,mixedwiththemosthorridimprecations;afterrecoveringmysenses,andfeelingareductionofmypain,Ibegantolookaboutme。Guess,gentlemen,myastonishment,whenIfoundmyselfinthecompanyofVulcanandhisCyclops,whohadbeenquarrelling,forthethreeweeksbeforementioned,abouttheobservationofgoodorderandduesubordination,andwhichhadoccasionedsuchalarmsforthatspaceoftimeintheworldabove。However,myarrivalrestoredpeacetothewholesociety,andVulcanhimselfdidmethehonourofapplyingplasterstomywounds,whichhealedthemimmediately;healsoplacedrefreshmentsbeforeme,particularlynectar,andotherrichwines,suchasthegodsandgoddessesonlyaspireto。AfterthisrepastwasoverVulcanorderedVenustoshowmeeveryindulgencewhichmysituationrequired。Todescribetheapartment,andthecouchonwhichIreposed,istotallyimpossible,thereforeIwillnotattemptit;letitsufficetosay,itexceedsthepoweroflanguagetodoitjustice,orspeakofthatkind—heartedgoddessinanytermsequaltohermerit。
  VulcangavemeaveryconciseaccountofMountEtna:hesaiditwasnothingmorethananaccumulationofashesthrownfromhisforge;thathewasfrequentlyobligedtochastisehispeople,atwhom,inhispassion,hemadeitapracticetothrowred—hotcoalsathome,whichtheyoftenparriedwithgreatdexterity,andthenthrewthemupintotheworldtoplacethemoutofhisreach,fortheyneverattemptedtoassaulthiminreturnbythrowingthembackagain。"Ourquarrels,"
  addedhe,"lastsometimesthreeorfourmonths,andtheseappearancesofcoalsorcindersintheworldarewhatIfindyoumortalscalleruptions。"MountVesuvius,heassuredme,wasanotherofhisshops,towhichhehadapassagethreehundredandfiftyleaguesunderthebedofthesea,wheresimilarquarrelsproducedsimilareruptions。I
  shouldhavecontinuedhereasanhumbleattendantuponMadamVenus,butsomebusytattlers,whodelightinmischief,whisperedataleinVulcan’sear,whichrousedinhimafitofjealousynottobeappeased。Withouttheleastpreviousnoticehetookmeonemorningunderhisarm,asIwaswaitinguponVenus,agreeabletocustom,andcarriedmetoanapartmentIhadneverbeforeseen,inwhichtherewas,toallappearance,/awell/withawidemouth:overthisheheldmeatarm’slength,andsaying,"/Ungratefulmortal,returntotheworldfromwhenceyoucame/,"withoutgivingmetheleastopportunityofreply,droppedmeinthecentre。Ifoundmyselfdescendingwithanincreasingrapidity,tillthehorrorofmyminddeprivedmeofallreflection。IsupposeIfellintoatrance,fromwhichIwassuddenlyarousedbyplungingintoalargebodyofwaterilluminatedbytheraysofthesun!!
  Icould,frommyinfancy,swimwell,andplaytricksinthewater。I
  nowfoundmyselfinparadise,consideringthehorrorsofmindIhadjustbeenreleasedfrom。Afterlookingaboutmesometime,Icoulddiscovernothingbutanexpanseofsea,extendingbeyondtheeyeineverydirection;Ialsofounditverycold,adifferentclimatefromMasterVulcan’sshop。AtlastIobservedatsomedistanceabodyofamazingmagnitude,likeahugerock,approachingme;Isoondiscoveredittobeapieceoffloatingice;IswamroundittillIfoundaplacewhereIcouldascendtothetop,whichIdid,butnotwithoutsomedifficulty。StillIwasoutofsightofland,anddespairreturnedwithdoubleforce;however,beforenightcameonIsawasail,whichweapproachedveryfast;whenitwaswithinaverysmalldistanceI
  hailedtheminGerman;theyansweredinDutch。Ithenflungmyselfintothesea,andtheythrewoutarope,bywhichIwastakenonboard。Inowinquiredwherewewere,andwasinformed,inthegreatSouthernOcean;thisopenedadiscoverywhichremovedallmydoubtsanddifficulties。ItwasnowevidentthatIhadpassedfromMountEtnathroughthecentreoftheearthtotheSouthSeas:this,gentlemen,wasamuchshortercutthangoingroundtheworld,andwhichnomanhasaccomplished,oreverattempted,butmyself;however,thenexttimeIperformitIwillbemuchmoreparticularinmyobservations。
  Itooksomerefreshment,andwenttorest。TheDutchareaveryrudesortofpeople;IrelatedtheEtnapassagetotheofficers,exactlyasIhavedonetoyou,andsomeofthem,particularlytheCaptain,seemedbyhisgrimaceandhalf—sentencetodoubtmyveracity;however,ashehadkindlytakenmeonboardhisvessel,andwasthenintheveryactofadministeringtomynecessities,Ipocketedtheaffront。
  Inowinmyturnbegantoinquirewheretheywerebound?Towhichtheyanswered,theywereinsearchofnewdiscoveries;"/andif/,"saidthey,"/yourstoryistrue,anewpassageisreallydiscovered,andweshallnotreturndisappointed/。"WewerenowexactlyinCaptainCook’sfirsttrack,andarrivedthenextmorninginBotanyBay。ThisplaceI
  wouldbynomeansrecommendtotheEnglishgovernmentasareceptacleforfelons,orplaceofpunishment;itshouldratherbetherewardofmerit,naturehavingmostbountifullybestowedherbestgiftsuponit。
  Westayedherebutthreedays;thefourthafterourdepartureamostdreadfulstormarose,whichinafewhoursdestroyedalloursails,splinteredourbowsprit,andbroughtdownourtopmast;itfelldirectlyupontheboxthatenclosedourcompass,which,withthecompass,wasbrokentopieces。Everyonewhohasbeenatseaknowstheconsequencesofsuchamisfortune:wenowwereatalosswheretosteer。Atlengththestormabated,whichwasfollowedbyasteady,briskgale,thatcarriedusatleastfortyknotsanhourforsixmonths![weshouldsupposetheBaronhasmadealittlemistake,andsubstituted/months/for/days/]whenwebegantoobserveanamazingchangeineverythingaboutus:ourspiritsbecamelight,ournoseswereregaledwiththemostaromaticeffluviaimaginable:theseahadalsochangeditscomplexion,andfromgreenbecamewhite!!Soonafterthesewonderfulalterationswesawland,andnotatanygreatdistanceaninlet,whichwesailedupnearsixtyleagues,andfounditwideanddeep,flowingwithmilkofthemostdelicioustaste。Herewelanded,andsoonfounditwasanislandconsistingofonelargecheese:wediscoveredthisbyoneofthecompanyfaintingawayassoonaswelanded:thismanalwayshadanaversiontocheese;whenherecovered,hedesiredthecheesetobetakenfromunderhisfeet:uponexaminationwefoundhimperfectlyright,forthewholeisland,asbeforeobserved,wasnothingbutacheeseofimmensemagnitude!Uponthistheinhabitants,whoareamazinglynumerous,principallysustainthemselves,anditgrowseverynightinproportionasitisconsumedintheday。Hereseemedtobeplentyofvines,withbunchesoflargegrapes,which,uponbeingpressed,yieldednothingbutmilk。Wesawtheinhabitantsrunningracesuponthesurfaceofthemilk:theywereupright,comelyfigures,ninefeethigh,havethreelegs,andbutonearm;uponthewhole,theirformwasgraceful,andwhentheyquarrel,theyexerciseastraighthorn,whichgrowsinadultsfromthecentreoftheirforeheads,withgreatadroitness;theydidnotsinkatall,butranandwalkeduponthesurfaceofthemilk,aswedouponabowling—green。
  Uponthisislandofcheesegrowsgreatplentyofcorn,theearsofwhichproduceloavesofbread,readymade,ofaroundformlikemushrooms。Wediscovered,inourramblesoverthischeese,seventeenotherriversofmilk,andtenofwine。
  Afterthirty—eightdays’journeywearrivedontheoppositesidetothatonwhichwelanded:herewefoundsomebluemould,ascheese—
  eaterscallit,fromwhencespringallkindsofrichfruit;insteadofbreedingmitesitproducedpeaches,nectarines,apricots,andathousanddeliciousfruitswhichwearenotacquaintedwith。Inthesetrees,whichareofanamazingsize,wereplentyofbirds’nests;
  amongstotherswasaking—fisher’sofprodigiousmagnitude;itwasatleasttwicethecircumferenceofthedomeofSt。Paul’sChurchinLondon。Uponinspection,thisnestwasmadeofhugetreescuriouslyjoinedtogether;therewere,letmesee(/forImakeitarulealwaystospeakwithincompass/),therewereupwardsoffivehundredeggsinthenest,andeachofthemwasaslargeasfourcommonhogsheads,oreightbarrels,andwecouldnotonlysee,butheartheyoungoneschirpingwithin。Having,withgreatfatigue,cutopenoneoftheseeggs,weletoutayoungoneunfeathered,considerablylargerthantwentyfull—grownvultures。Justaswehadgiventhisyoungsterhislibertytheoldkingfisherlighted,andseizingourcaptain,whohadbeenactiveinbreakingtheegg,inoneofherclaws,flewwithhimaboveamilehigh,andthenlethimdropintothesea,butnottillshehadbeatenallhisteethoutofhismouthwithherwings。
  Dutchmengenerallyswimwell:hesoonjoinedus,andweretreatedtoourship。Onourreturnwetookadifferentroute,andobservedmanystrangeobjects。Weshottwowildoxen,eachwithonehorn,alsoliketheinhabitants,exceptthatitsproutedfrombetweentheeyesoftheseanimals;wewereafterwardsconcernedathavingdestroyedthem,aswefound,byinquiry,theytamedthesecreatures,andusedthemaswedohorses,torideuponanddrawtheircarriages;theirflesh,wewereinformed,isexcellent,butuselesswherepeopleliveuponcheeseandmilk。Whenwehadreachedwithintwodays’journeyoftheshipweobservedthreemenhangingtoatalltreebytheirheels;uponinquiringthecauseoftheirpunishment,Ifoundtheyhadallbeentravellers,andupontheirreturnhomehaddeceivedtheirfriendsbydescribingplacestheyneversaw,andrelatingthingsthatneverhappened:thisgavemenoconcern,/asIhaveeverconfinedmyselftofacts/。
  Assoonaswearrivedattheshipweunmoored,andsetsailfromthisextraordinarycountry,when,toourastonishment,allthetreesuponshore,ofwhichtherewereagreatnumberverytallandlarge,paidtheirrespectstoustwice,bowingtoexacttime,andimmediatelyrecoveredtheirformerposture,whichwasquiteerect。
  BywhatwecouldlearnofthisCHEESE,itwasconsiderablylargerthanthecontinentofallEurope!
  Aftersailingthreemonthsweknewnotwhere,beingstillwithoutcompass,wearrivedinaseawhichappearedtobealmostblack:upontastingitwefounditmostexcellentwine,andhadgreatdifficultytokeepthesailorsfromgettingdrunkwithit:however,inafewhourswefoundourselvessurroundedbywhalesandotheranimalsofanimmensemagnitude,oneofwhichappearedtobetoolargefortheeyetoformajudgmentof:wedidnotseehimtillwewereclosetohim。
  Thismonsterdrewourship,withallhermastsstanding,andsailsbent,bysuctionintohismouth,betweenhisteeth,whichweremuchlargerandtallerthanthemastofafirst—rateman—of—war。Afterwehadbeeninhismouthsometimeheopeneditprettywide,tookinanimmensequantityofwater,andfloatedourvessel,whichwasatleast500tonsburthen,intohisstomach;herewelayasquietasatanchorinadeadcalm。Theair,tobesure,wasratherwarm,andveryoffensive。Wefoundanchors,cables,boats,andbargesinabundance,andaconsiderablenumberofships,someladenandsomenot,whichthiscreaturehadswallowed。Everythingwastransactedbytorch—light;
  nosun,nomoon,noplanet,tomakeobservationsfrom。Wewereallgenerallyafloatandagroundtwicea—day;wheneverhedrank,itbecamehighwaterwithus;andwhenheevacuated,wefoundourselvesaground;
  uponamoderatecomputation,hetookinmorewateratasingledraughtthanisgenerallytobefoundintheLakeofGeneva,thoughthatisabovethirtymilesincircumference。Ontheseconddayofourconfinementintheseregionsofdarkness,Iventuredatlowwater,aswecalleditwhentheshipwasaground,toramblewiththeCaptain,andafewoftheotherofficers,withlightsinourhands;wemetwithpeopleofallnations,totheamountofupwardsoftenthousand;theyweregoingtoholdacouncilhowtorecovertheirliberty;someofthemhavinglivedinthisanimal’sstomachseveralyears;therewereseveralchildrenherewhohadneverseentheworld,theirmothershavinglaininrepeatedlyinthiswarmsituation。Justasthechairmanwasgoingtoinformusofthebusinessuponwhichwewereassembled,thisplaguyfish,becomingthirsty,drankinhisusualmanner;thewaterpouredinwithsuchimpetuosity,thatwewereallobligedtoretreattoourrespectiveshipsimmediately,orruntheriskofbeingdrowned;somewereobligedtoswimforit,andwithdifficultysavedtheirlives。Inafewhoursafterweweremorefortunate,wemetagainjustafterthemonsterhadevacuated。Iwaschosenchairman,andthefirstthingIdidwastoproposesplicingtwomain—maststogether,andthenexttimeheopenedhismouthtobereadytowedgethemin,soastopreventhisshuttingit。Itwasunanimouslyapproved。Onehundredstoutmenwerechosenuponthisservice。Wehadscarcelygotourmastsproperlypreparedwhenanopportunityoffered;themonsteropenedhismouth,immediatelythetopofthemastwasplacedagainsttheroof,andtheotherendpiercedhistongue,whicheffectuallypreventedhimfromshuttinghismouth。Assoonaseverythinginhisstomachwasafloat,wemannedafewboats,whorowedthemselvesandusintotheworld。Thedaylight,after,asnearaswecouldjudge,threemonths’
  confinementintotaldarkness,cheeredourspiritssurprisingly。Whenwehadalltakenourleaveofthiscapaciousanimal,wemusteredjustafleetofninety—fiveships,ofallnations,whohadbeeninthisconfinedsituation。
  Weleftthetwomastsinhismouth,topreventothersbeingconfinedinthesamehorridgulfofdarknessandfilth。Ourfirstobjectwastolearnwhatpartoftheworldwewerein;thiswewereforsometimeatalosstoascertain:atlastIfound,fromformerobservations,thatwewereintheCaspianSea!whichwashespartofthecountryoftheCalmuckTartars。Howwecamehereiswasimpossibletoconceive,asthisseahasnocommunicationwithanyother。OneoftheinhabitantsoftheCheeseIsland,whomIhadbroughtwithme,accountedforitthus:——thatthemonsterinwhosestomachwehadbeensolongconfinedhadcarriedusherethroughsomesubterraneouspassage;however,wepushedtoshore,andIwasthefirstwholanded。JustasIputmyfootuponthegroundalargebearleapeduponmewithitsfore—paws;I
  caughtoneineachhand,andsqueezedhimtillhecriedoutmostlustily;however,inthispositionIheldhimtillIstarvedhimtodeath。Youmaylaugh,gentlemen,butthiswassoonaccomplished,asI
  preventedhimlickinghispaws。FromhenceItravelleduptoSt。
  Petersburgasecondtime:hereanoldfriendgavemeamostexcellentpointer,descendedfromthefamousbitchbefore—mentioned,thatlitteredwhileshewashuntingahare。Ihadthemisfortunetohavehimshotsoonafterbyablunderingsportsman,whofiredathiminsteadofacoveyofpartridgeswhichhehadjustset。Ofthiscreature’sskinIhavehadthiswaistcoatmade(showinghiswaistcoat),whichalwaysleadsmeinvoluntarilytogameifIwalkinthefieldsintheproperseason,andwhenIcomewithinshot,/oneofthebuttonsconstantlyfliesoff,andlodgesuponthespotwherethesportis/;andasthebirdsrise,beingalwaysprimedandcocked,I
  nevermissthem。Herearenowbutthreebuttonsleft。Ishallhaveanewsetsewedonagainsttheshootingseasoncommences。
  Whenacoveyofpartridgesisdisturbedinthismanner,bythebuttonfallingamongstthem,theyalwaysrisefromthegroundinadirectlinebeforeeachother。Ioneday,byforgettingtotakemyramrodoutofmygun,shotitstraightthroughaleash,asregularlyasifthecookhadspittedthem。Ihadforgottoputinanyshot,andtherodhadbeenmadesohotwiththepowder,thatthebirdswerecompletelyroastedbythetimeIreachedhome。
  SincemyarrivalinEnglandIhaveaccomplishedwhatIhadverymuchatheart,viz。,providingfortheinhabitantoftheCheeseIsland,whomIhadbroughtwithme。Myoldfriend,SirWilliamChambers,whoisentirelyindebtedtomeforallhisideasofChinesegardening,byadescriptionofwhichhehasgainedsuchhighreputation;Isay,gentlemen,inadiscoursewhichIhadwiththisgentlemen,heseemedmuchdistressedforacontrivancetolightthelampsatthenewbuildings,SomersetHouse;thecommonmodewithladders,heobserved,wasbothdirtyandinconvenient。MynativeoftheCheeseIslandpoppedintomyhead;hewasonlyninefeethighwhenIfirstbroughthimfromhisowncountry,butwasnowincreasedtotenandahalf:IintroducedhimtoSirWilliam,andheisappointedtothathonourableoffice。Heisalsotocarry,underalargecloak,autensilineachcoatpocket,insteadofthosefourwhichSirWilliamhas/veryproperly/fixedforprivatepurposesinsoconspicuousasituation,thegreatquadrangle。
  HehasalsoobtainedfromMr。PITTthesituationofmessengertohisMajesty’slordsofthebed—chamber,whoseprincipalemploymentwill/now/be,divulgingthesecretsoftheRoyalhouseholdtotheir/worthy/Patron。
  SUPPLEMENT
  /Extraordinaryflightonthebackofaneagle,overFrancetoGibraltar,SouthandNorthAmerica,thePolarRegions,andbacktoEngland,withinsix—and—thirtyhours。/
  AboutthebeginningofhispresentMajesty’sreignIhadsomebusinesswithadistantrelationwhothenlivedontheIsleofThanet;itwasafamilydispute,andnotlikelytobefinishedsoon。Imadeitapracticeduringmyresidencethere,theweatherbeingfine,towalkouteverymorning。AfterafewoftheseexcursionsIobservedanobjectuponagreateminenceaboutthreemilesdistant:Iextendedmywalktoit,andfoundtheruinsofanancienttemple:Iapproacheditwithadmirationandastonishment;thetracesofgrandeurandmagnificencewhichyetremainedwereevidentproofsofitsformersplendour:hereIcouldnothelplamentingtheravagesanddevastationsoftime,ofwhichthatoncenoblestructureexhibitedsuchamelancholyproof。Iwalkedrounditseveraltimes,meditatingonthefleetingandtransitorynatureofallterrestrialthings;ontheeasternendweretheremainsofaloftytower,nearfortyfeethigh,overgrownwithivy,thetopapparentlyflat;Isurveyeditoneverysideveryminutely,thinkingthatifIcouldgainitssummitI
  shouldenjoythemostdelightfulprospectofthecircumjacentcountry。
  Animatedwiththishope,Iresolved,ifpossible,togainthesummit,whichIatlengtheffectedbymeansoftheivy,thoughnotwithoutgreatdifficultyanddanger;thetopIfoundcoveredwiththisevergreen,exceptalargechasminthemiddle。AfterIhadsurveyedwithpleasingwonderthebeautiesofartandnaturethatconspiredtoenrichthescene,curiositypromptedmetosoundtheopeninginthemiddle,inordertoascertainitsdepth,asIentertainedasuspicionthatitmightprobablycommunicatewithsomeunexploredsubterraneancaverninthehill;buthavingnolineIwasatalosshowtoproceed。
  Afterrevolvingthematterinmythoughtsforsometime,Iresolvedtodropastonedownandlistentotheecho:havingfoundonethatansweredmypurposeIplacedmyselfoverthehole,withonefootoneachside,andstoopingdowntolisten,Idroppedthestone,whichI
  hadnosoonerdonethanIheardarustlingbelow,andsuddenlyamonstrouseagleputupitsheadrightoppositemyface,andrisingupwithirresistibleforce,carriedmeawayseatedonitsshoulders:I
  instantlygraspeditroundtheneck,whichwaslargeenoughtofillmyarms,anditswings,whenextended,weretenyardsfromoneextremitytotheother。Asitrosewitharegularascent,myseatwasperfectlyeasy,andIenjoyedtheprospectbelowwithinexpressiblepleasure。IthoveredoverMargateforsometime,wasseenbyseveralpeople,andmanyshotswerefiredatit;oneballhittheheelofmyshoe,butdidmenoinjury。ItthendirecteditscoursetoDovercliff,whereitalighted,andIthoughtofdismounting,butwaspreventedbyasuddendischargeofmusketryfromapartyofmarinesthatwereexercisingonthebeach;theballsflewaboutmyhead,andrattledonthefeathersoftheeaglelikehail—stones,yetIcouldnotperceiveithadreceivedanyinjury。ItinstantlyreascendedandflewovertheseatowardsCalais,butsoveryhighthattheChannelseemedtobenobroaderthantheThamesatLondonBridge。InaquarterofanhourI
  foundmyselfoverathickwoodinFrance,wheretheeagledescendedveryrapidly,whichcausedmetoslipdowntothebackpartofitshead;butalightingonalargetree,andraisingitshead,Irecoveredmyseatasbefore,butsawnopossibilityofdisengagingmyselfwithoutthedangerofbeingkilledbythefall;soIdeterminedtositfast,thinkingitwouldcarrymetotheAlps,orsomeotherhighmountain,whereIcoulddismountwithoutanydanger。Afterrestingafewminutesittookwing,flewseveraltimesroundthewood,andscreamedloudenoughtobeheardacrosstheEnglishChannel。Inafewminutesoneofthesamespeciesaroseoutofthewood,andflewdirectlytowardsus;itsurveyedmewithevidentmarksofdispleasure,andcameverynearme。Afterflyingseveraltimesround,theybothdirectedtheircoursetothesouth—west。IsoonobservedthattheoneIrodeuponcouldnotkeeppacewiththeother,butinclinedtowardstheearth,onaccountofmyweight;itscompanionperceivingthis,turnedroundandplaceditselfinsuchapositionthattheothercouldrestitsheadonitsrump;inthismannertheyproceededtillnoon,whenIsawtherockofGibraltarverydistinctly。Thedaybeingclear,notwithstandingmydegreeofelevation,theearth’ssurfaceappearedjustlikeamap,whereland,sea,lakes,rivers,mountains,andthelikewereperfectlydistinguishable;andhavingsomeknowledgeofgeography,IwasatnolosstodeterminewhatpartoftheglobeIwasin。
  WhilstIwascontemplatingthiswonderfulprospectadreadfulhowlingsuddenlybeganallaroundme,andinamomentIwasinvestedbythousandsofsmall,black,deformed,frightfullookingcreatures,whopressedmeonallsidesinsuchamannerthatIcouldneithermovehandorfoot:butIhadnotbeenintheirpossessionmorethantenminuteswhenIheardthemostdelightfulmusicthatcanpossiblybeimagined,whichwassuddenlychangedintoanoisethemostawfulandtremendous,towhichthereportofcannon,ortheloudestclapsofthundercouldbearnomoreproportionthanthegentlezephyrsoftheeveningtothemostdreadfulhurricane;buttheshortnessofitsdurationpreventedallthosefataleffectswhichaprolongationofitwouldcertainlyhavebeenattendedwith。