Themusiccommenced,andIsawagreatnumberofthemostbeautifullittlecreaturesseizetheotherparty,andthrowthemwithgreatviolenceintosomethinglikeasnuff—box,whichtheyshutdown,andonethrewitawaywithincrediblevelocity;thenturningtome,hesaidtheywhomhehadsecuredwereapartyofdevils,whohadwanderedfromtheirproperhabitation;andthatthevehicleinwhichtheywereenclosedwouldflywithunabatingrapidityfortenthousandyears,whenitwouldburstofitsownaccord,andthedevilswouldrecovertheirlibertyandfaculties,asatthepresentmoment。Hehadnosoonerfinishedthisrelationthanthemusicceased,andtheyalldisappeared,leavingmeinastateofmindborderingontheconfinesofdespair。
WhenIhadrecomposedmyselfalittle,andlookingbeforemewithinexpressiblepleasure,IobservedthattheeagleswerepreparingtolightonthepeakofTeneriffe:theydescendedonthetopoftherock,butseeingnopossiblemeansofescapeifIdismounteddeterminedmetoremainwhereIwas。Theeaglessatdownseeminglyfatigued,whentheheatofthesunsooncausedthembothtofallasleep,nordidI
longresistitsfascinatingpower。Inthecooloftheevening,whenthesunhadretiredbelowthehorizon,Iwasrousedfromsleepbytheeaglemovingunderme;andhavingstretchedmyselfalongitsback,I
satup,andreassumedmytravellingposition,whentheybothtookwing,andhavingplacedthemselvesasbefore,directedtheircoursetoSouthAmerica。Themoonshiningbrightduringthewholenight,Ihadafineviewofalltheislandsinthoseseas。
AboutthebreakofdaywereachedthegreatcontinentofAmerica,thatpartcalledTerraFirma,anddescendedonthetopofaveryhighmountain。Atthistimethemoon,fardistantinthewest,andobscuredbydarkclouds,butjustaffordedlightsufficientformetodiscoverakindofshrubberyallaround,bearingfruitsomethinglikecabbages,whichtheeaglesbegantofeedonveryeagerly。Iendeavouredtodiscovermysituation,butfogsandpassingcloudsinvolvedmeinthethickestdarkness,andwhatrenderedthescenestillmoreshockingwasthetremendoushowlingofwildbeasts,someofwhichappearedtobeverynear:however,Ideterminedtokeepmyseat,imaginingthattheeaglewouldcarrymeawayifanyofthemshouldmakeahostileattempt。Whendaylightbegantoappear,IthoughtofexaminingthefruitwhichIhadseentheeagleseat,andassomewashangingwhichI
couldeasilycomeat,Itookoutmyknifeandcutaslice;buthowgreatwasmysurprisetoseethatithadalltheappearanceofroastbeefregularlymixed,bothfatandlean!Itastedit,andfounditwellflavouredanddelicious,thencutseverallargeslicesandputinmypocket,whereIfoundacrustofbreadwhichIhadbroughtfromMargate;tookitout,andfoundthreemusket—ballsthathadbeenlodgedinitonDovercliff。Iextractedthem,andcuttingafewslicesmore,madeaheartymealofbreadandcoldbeeffruit。Ithencutdowntwoofthelargestthatgrewnearme,andtyingthemtogetherwithoneofmygarters,hungthemovertheeagle’sneckforanotheroccasion,fillingmypocketsatthesametime。WhileIwassettlingtheseaffairsIobservedalargefruitlikeaninflatedbladder,whichIwishedtotryanexperimentupon:andstrikingmyknifeintooneofthem,afinepureliquorlikeHollandsginrushedout,whichtheeaglesobserving,eagerlydrankupfromtheground。IcutdownthebladderasfastasIcould,andsavedabouthalfapintinthebottomofit,whichItasted,andcouldnotdistinguishitfromthebestmountainwine。Idrankitall,andfoundmyselfgreatlyrefreshed。Bythistimetheeaglesbegantostaggeragainsttheshrubs。I
endeavouredtokeepmyseat,butwassoonthrowntosomedistanceamongthebushes。InattemptingtoriseIputmyhanduponalargehedgehog,whichhappenedtolieamongthegrassuponitsback:itinstantlyclosedroundmyhand,sothatIfounditimpossibletoshakeitoff。Istruckitseveraltimesagainstthegroundwithouteffect;
butwhileIwasthusemployedIheardarustlingamongtheshrubbery,andlookingup,Isawahugeanimalwithinthreeyardsofme;Icouldmakenodefence,butheldoutbothmyhands,whenitrusheduponme,andseizedthatonwhichthehedgehogwasfixed。Myhandbeingsoonrelieved,Irantosomedistance,whereIsawthecreaturesuddenlydropdownandexpirewiththehedgehoginitsthroat。WhenthedangerwaspastIwenttoviewtheeagles,andfoundthemlyingonthegrassfastasleep,beingintoxicatedwiththeliquortheyhaddrank。Indeed,Ifoundmyselfconsiderablyelevatedbyit,andseeingeverythingquiet,Ibegantosearchforsomemore,whichIsoonfound;andhavingcutdowntwolargebladders,aboutagalloneach,Itiedthemtogether,andhungthemovertheneckoftheothereagle,andthetwosmalleronesItiedwithacordroundmyownwaist。Havingsecuredagoodstockofprovisions,andperceivingtheeaglesbegintorecover,Iagaintookmyseat。Inhalfanhourtheyarosemajesticallyfromtheplace,withouttakingtheleastnoticeoftheirincumbrance。Eachreassumeditsformerstation;anddirectingtheircoursetothenorthward,theycrossedtheGulfofMexico,enteredNorthAmerica,andsteereddirectlyforthePolarregions,whichgavemethefinestopportunityofviewingthisvastcontinentthatcanpossiblybeimagined。
Beforeweenteredthefrigidzonethecoldbegantoaffectme;butpiercingoneofmybladders,Itookadraught,andfoundthatitcouldmakenoimpressiononmeafterwards。PassingoverHudson’sBay,IsawseveraloftheCompany’sshipslyingatanchor,andmanytribesofIndiansmarchingwiththeirfurstomarket。
BythistimeIwassoreconciledtomyseat,andbecomesuchanexpertrider,thatIcouldsitupandlookaroundme;butingeneralIlayalongtheeagle’sneck,graspingitinmyarms,withmyhandsimmersedinitsfeathers,inordertokeepthemwarm。
InthosecoldclimatesIobservedthattheeaglesflewwithgreaterrapidity,inorder,Isuppose,tokeeptheirbloodincirculation。InpassingBaffin’sBayIsawseverallargeGreenlandmentotheeastward,andmanysurprisingmountainsoficeinthoseseas。
WhileIwassurveyingthesewondersofnatureitoccurredtomethatthiswasagoodopportunitytodiscoverthenorth—westpassage,ifanysuchthingexisted,andnotonlyobtaintherewardofferedbygovernment,butthehonourofadiscoverypregnantwithsomanyadvantagestoeveryEuropeannation。ButwhilemythoughtswereabsorbedinthispleasingreverieIwasalarmedbythefirsteaglestrikingitsheadagainstasolidtransparentsubstance,andinamomentthatwhichIrodeexperiencedthesamefate,andbothfelldownseeminglydead。
Hereourlivesmustinevitablyhaveterminated,hadnotasenseofdanger,andthesingularityofmysituation,inspiredmewithadegreeofskillanddexteritywhichenabledustofallneartwomilesperpendicularwithaslittleinconveniencyasifwehadbeenletdownwitharope:fornosoonerdidIperceivetheeaglesstrikeagainstafrozencloud,whichisverycommonnearthepoles,than(theybeingclosetogether)Ilaidmyselfalongthebackoftheforemost,andtookholdofitswingstokeepthemextended,atthesametimestretchingoutmylegsbehindtosupportthewingsoftheother。Thishadthedesiredeffect,andwedescendedverysafeonamountainofice,whichIsupposedtobeaboutthreemilesabovethelevelofthesea。
Idismounted,unloadedtheeagles,openedoneofthebladders,andadministeredsomeoftheliquortoeachofthem,withoutonceconsideringthatthehorrorsofdestructionseemedtohaveconspiredagainstme。Theroaringofwaves,crashingofice,andthehowlingofbears,conspiredtoformascenethemostawfulandtremendous:butnotwithstandingthis,myconcernfortherecoveryoftheeagleswassogreat,thatIwasinsensibleofthedangertowhichIwasexposed。
Havingrenderedthemeveryassistanceinmypower,Istoodovertheminpainfulanxiety,fullysensiblethatitwasonlybymeansofthemthatIcouldpossiblybedeliveredfromtheseabodesofdespair。
Butsuddenlyamonstrousbearbegantoroarbehindme,withavoicelikethunder。Iturnedround,andseeingthecreaturejustreadytodevourme,havingthebladderofliquorinmyhands,throughfearI
squeezeditsohard,thatitburst,andtheliquorflyingintheeyesoftheanimal,totallydepriveditofsight。Itinstantlyturnedfromme,ranawayinastateofdistraction,andsoonfelloveraprecipiceoficeintothesea,whereIsawitnomore。
Thedangerbeingover,Iagainturnedmyattentiontotheeagles,whomIfoundinafairwayofrecovery,andsuspectingthattheywerefaintforwantofvictuals,Itookoneofthebeeffruit,cutitintosmallslices,andpresentedthemwithit,whichtheydevouredwithavidity。
Havinggiventhemplentytoeatanddrink,anddisposedoftheremainderofmyprovision,Itookpossessionofmyseatasbefore。
Aftercomposingmyself,andadjustingeverythinginthebestmanner,I
begantoeatanddrinkveryheartily;andthroughtheeffectsofthemountainwine,asIcalledit,wasverycheerful,andbegantosingafewversesofasongwhichIhadlearnedwhenIwasaboy:butthenoisesoonalarmedtheeagles,whohadbeenasleep,throughthequantityofliquorwhichtheyhaddrank,andtheyroseseeminglymuchterrified。Happilyforme,however,whenIwasfeedingthemIhadaccidentallyturnedtheirheadstowardsthesouth—east,whichcoursetheypursuedwitharapidmotion。InafewhoursIsawtheWesternIsles,andsoonafterhadtheinexpressiblepleasureofseeingOldEngland。ItooknonoticeoftheseasorislandsoverwhichIpassed。
Theeaglesdescendedgraduallyastheydrewneartheshore,intending,asIsupposed,toalightononeoftheWelshmountains;butwhentheycametothedistanceofaboutsixtyyardstwogunswerefiredatthem,loadedwithballs,oneofwhichtookplaceinabladderofliquorthathungtomywaist;theotherenteredthebreastoftheforemosteagle,whofelltotheground,whilethatwhichIrode,havingreceivednoinjury,flewawaywithamazingswiftness。
Thiscircumstancealarmedmeexceedingly,andIbegantothinkitwasimpossibleformetoescapewithmylife;butrecoveringalittle,I
oncemorelookeddownupontheearth,when,tomyinexpressiblejoy,I
sawMargateatalittledistance,andtheeagledescendingontheoldtowerwhenceithadcarriedmeonthemorningofthedaybefore。ItnosoonercamedownthanIthrewmyselfoff,happytofindthatIwasoncemorerestoredtotheworld。Theeagleflewawayinafewminutes,andIsatdowntocomposemyflutteringspirits,whichIdidinafewhours。
Isoonpaidavisittomyfriends,andrelatedtheseadventures。
Amazementstoodineverycountenance;theircongratulationsonmyreturninginsafetywererepeatedwithanunaffecteddegreeofpleasure,andwepassedtheeveningaswearedoingnow,everypersonpresentpayingthehighestcomplimentstomyCOURAGEandVERACITY。
THESECONDVOLUME
PREFACE
TOTHESECONDVOLUME
BaronMunchausenhascertainlybeenproductiveofmuchbenefittotheliteraryworld;thenumbersofegregioustravellershavebeensuch,thattheydemandedaveryGullivertosurpassthem。IfBarondeTottdauntlesslydischargedanenormouspieceofartillery,theBaronMunchausenhasdonemore;hehastakenitandswamwithitacrossthesea。Whentravellersaresolicitoustobetheheroesoftheirownstory,surelytheymustadmittosuperiority,andblushatseeingthemselvesout—donebytherenownedMunchausen:Idoubtwhetheranyonehitherto,Pantagruel,Gargantua,CaptainLemuel,orDeTott,hasbeenabletoout—doourBaroninthisspeciesofexcellence:andasatpresentourcuriosityseemsmuchdirectedtotheinteriorofAfrica,itmustbeedifyingtohavetherealrelationofMunchausen’sadventurestherebeforeanyfurtherintelligencearrives;forheseemstoadapthimselfandhisexploitstothespiritofthetimes,andrecountswhathethinksshouldbemostinterestingtohisauditors。
IdonotsaythattheBaron,inthefollowingstories,meansasatireonanypoliticalmatterswhatever。No;butifthereaderunderstandsthemso,Icannothelpit。
IftheBaronmeetswithaparcelofnegroshipscarryingwhitesintoslaverytoworkupontheirplantationsinacoldclimate,shouldwethereforeimaginethatheintendsareflectiononthepresenttrafficinhumanflesh?Andthat,ifthenegroesshoulddoso,itwouldbesimplejustice,asretaliationisthelawofGod!Ifweweretothinkthisareflectiononanypresentcommercialorpoliticalmatter,weshouldbetemptedtoimagine,perhaps,somepoliticalideasconveyedineverypage,ineverysentenceofthewhole。WhethersuchthingsareorarenottheintentionsoftheBaronthereadermustjudge。
Wehavehadnotonlywonderfultravellersinthisvileworld,butsplenetictravellers,andofthesenotafew,andalsoconspicuousenough。Itisapity,therefore,thattheBaronhasnotendeavouredtosurpassthemalsointhisspeciesofstory—telling。WhoisitcanreadthetravelsofSmellfungus,asSternecallshim,withoutadmiration?
TothinkthatapersonfromtheNorthofScotlandshouldtravelthroughsomeofthefinestcountriesinEurope,andfindfaultwitheverythinghemeets——nothingtopleasehim!Andtherefore,methinks,theTourtotheHebridesismoreexcusable,andalsoperhapsMr。
Twiss’sTourinIreland。Dr。Johnson,bredintheluxurianceofLondon,withmorereasonshouldbecomecrossandspleneticinthebleakanddrearyregionsoftheHebrides。
TheBaron,inthefollowingwork,seemstobesometimesphilosophical;
hisaccountofthelanguageoftheinteriorofAfrica,anditsanalogywiththatoftheinhabitantsofthemoon,showhimtobeprofoundlyversedintheetymologicalantiquitiesofnations,andthrownewlightupontheabstrusehistoryoftheancientScythians,andtheCollectanea。
HisendeavourtoabolishthecustomofeatinglivefleshintheinteriorofAfrica,asdescribedinBruce’sTravels,istrulyhumane。
Butfarbeitfrommetosuppose,thatbyGogandMagogandtheLordMayor’sshowhemeansasatireuponanypersonorbodyofpersonswhatever:or,byatediouslitigatedtrialofblindjudgesanddumbmatronsfollowingawildgoosechaseallroundtheworld,heshouldglanceatanytrialwhatever。
Nevertheless,ImustallowthatitwasextremelypresumptuousinMunchausentotellhalfthesovereignsoftheworldthattheywerewrong,andadvisethemwhattheyoughttodo;andthatinsteadoforderingmillionsoftheirsubjectstomassacreoneanother,itwouldbemoretotheirinteresttoemploytheirforcesinconcertforthegeneralgood;asifheknewbetterthantheEmpressofRussia,theGrandVizier,PrincePotemkin,oranyotherbutcherintheworld。ButthatheshouldbearoyalAristocrat,andtakethepartoftheinjuredQueenofFranceinthepresentpoliticaldrama,Iamnotatallsurprised;butIsupposehismindwasfiredbyreadingthepamphletwrittenbyMr。Burke。
CHAPTERXXI
/TheBaroninsistsontheveracityofhisformerMemoirs——FormsadesignofmakingdiscoveriesintheinteriorpartsofAfrica——HisdiscoursewithHilaroFrosticosaboutit——HisconversationwithLadyFragrantia——TheBarongoes,withotherpersonsofdistinction,toCourt;relatesananecdoteoftheMarquisdeBellecourt。/
AllthatIhaverelatedbefore,saidtheBaron,isgospel;andiftherebeanyonesohardyastodenyit,Iamreadytofighthimwithanyweaponhepleases。Yes,criedhe,inamoreelevatedtone,ashestartedfromhisseat,Iwillcondemnhimtoswallowthisdecanter,glassandallperhaps,andfilledwithkerren—wasser[akindofardentspiritdistilledfromcherries,andmuchusedinsomepartsofGermany]。Therefore,mydearfriendsandcompanions,haveconfidenceinwhatIsay,andpayhonourtothetalesofMunchausen。Atravellerhasarighttorelateandembellishhisadventuresashepleases,anditisveryunpolitetorefusethatdeferenceandapplausetheydeserve。
HavingpassedsometimeinEnglandsincethecompletionofmyformermemoirs,IatlengthbegantorevolveinmymindwhataprodigiousfieldofdiscoverymustbeintheinteriorpartofAfrica。Icouldnotsleepwiththethoughtsofit;IthereforedeterminedtogaineveryproperassistancefromGovernmenttopenetratethecelebratedsourceoftheNile,andassumetheviceroyshipoftheinteriorkingdomsofAfrica,or,atleast,thegreatrealmofMonomotapa。ItwashappyformethatIhadonemostpowerfulfriendatcourt,whomIshallcalltheillustriousHilaroFrosticos。Youperchanceknowhimnotbythatname;
butwehadalanguageamongourselves,aswellwemay,forinthecourseofmyperegrinationsIhaveacquiredpreciselyninehundredandninety—nineleashoflanguages。What!gentlemen,doyoustare?Well,I
allowtherearenotsomanylanguagesspokeninthisvileworld;butthen,haveInotbeeninthemoon?andtrustme,wheneverIwriteatreatiseuponeducation,Ishalldelineatemethodsofinculcatingwholedozensoflanguagesatonce,French,Spanish,Greek,Hebrew,Cherokee,&c。,insuchastyleaswillshameallthepedagoguesexisting。
HavingpassedawholenightwithoutbeingabletosleepforthevividimaginationofAfricandiscoveries,IhastenedtotheleveeofmyillustriousfriendHilaroFrosticos,andhavingmentionedmyintentionwithallthevigouroffancy,hegravelyconsideredmywords,andaftersomeawfulmeditationsthushespoke:/Olough,magenesat,istumfullanah,cumderakargosbelgarasaheseumbalgobartigostriangulissimus!/However,addedhe,itbehoveththeetoconsiderandponderwellupontheperilsandthemultitudinousdangersinthewayofthatwightwhothusadvancethinalltheperambulationofadventures:andverily,mostvaliantsireandBaron,Ihopethouwiltdemeanthyselfwithallthatlaudablegravityandprecautionwhich,asisrelatedinthethreehundredandforty—seventhchapteroftheProphilactics,isofmoreconsiderationthanallthemeritinthisterraqueousglobe。Yes,mosttrulydoIadvisetheeuntothygood,andspeakuntothee,mostvaliantMunchausen,withthegreatestesteem,andwishtheetosucceedinthyvoyage;foritissaid,thatintheinteriorrealmsofAfricatherearetribesthatcanseebutjustthreeinchesandahalfbeyondtheextremityoftheirnoses;andverilythoushouldestmoderatethyself,evensureandslow;theystumblewhowalkfast。ButweshallbringyouuntotheLadyFragrantia,andhaveheropinionofthematter。Hethentookfromhispocketacapofdignity,suchasdescribedinthemosthonourableandantiqueheraldry,andplacingituponmyhead,addressedmethus:——"Asthouseemestagaintorevivethespiritofancientadventure,permitmetoplaceuponthyheadthisfavour,asamarkoftheesteeminwhichIholdthyvalorousdisposition。"
TheLadyFragrantia,mydearfriends,wasoneofthemostdivinecreaturesinallGreatBritain,andwasdesperatelyinlovewithme。
Shewasdrawingmyportraituponapieceofwhitesatin,whenthemostnobleHilaroFrosticosadvanced。Hepointedtothecapofdignitywhichhehadplaceduponmyhead。"Idodeclare,Hilaro,"saidthelovelyFragrantia,"’tispretty,’tisinteresting;Iloveyou,andI
likeyou,mydearBaron,"saidshe,puttingonanotherplume:"thisgivesitanairmoredelicateandmorefantastical。Idothus,mydearMunchausen,asyourfriend,yetyoucanrejectoracceptmypresentjustasyouplease;butIlikethefancy,’tisagoodone,andImeantoimproveit:andagainstwhateverenemiesyougo,Ishallhavethesweetsatisfactiontorememberyoubearmyfavouronyourhead!"
Isnatcheditwithtrepidation,andgracefullydroppingonmyknees,I
threetimeskisseditwithalltheraptureofromanticlove。"I
swear,"criedI,"bythybrighteyes,andbythelovelywhitenessofthinearm,thatnosavage,tyrant,orenemyuponthefaceoftheearthshalldespoilmeofthisfavour,whileonedropofthebloodoftheMunchausensdothcirculateinmyveins!IwillbearittriumphantthroughtherealmsofAfrica,whitherInowintendmycourse,andmakeitrespected,eveninthecourtofPresterJohn。"
"Iadmireyourspirit,"repliedshe,"andshallusemyutmostinterestatcourttohaveyoudespatchedwitheverypomp,andassoonaspossible;butherecomesamostbrilliantcompanyindeed,LadyCarolinaWilhelminaAmeliaSkeggs,LordSpigot,andLadyFaucet,andtheCountessofBelleair。"
Aftertheceremoniesofintroductiontothiscompanywereover,weproceededtoconsultuponthebusiness;andasthecausemetwithgeneralapplause,itwasimmediatelydeterminedthatIshouldproceedwithoutdelay,assoonasIobtainedthesovereignapprobation。"Iamconvinced,"saidLordSpigot,"thatiftherebeanythingreallyunknownandworthyofourmostardentcuriosity,itmustbeintheimmenseregionsofAfrica;thatcountry,whichseemstobetheoldestontheglobe,andyetwiththegreaterpartofwhichwearealmostutterlyunacquainted;whatprodigiouswealthofgoldanddiamondsmustnotlieconcealedinthosetorridregions,whentheveryriversonthecoastpourforthcontinualspecimensofgoldensand!’Tismyopinion,therefore,thattheBarondeservestheapplauseofallEuropeforhisspirit,andmeritsthemostpowerfulassistanceofthesovereign。"
Soflatteringanapprobation,youmaybesure,wasdelightfultomyheart,andwitheveryconfidenceandjoyIsufferedthemtotakemetocourtthatinstant。Aftertheusualceremoniesofintroduction,sufficeittosaythatImetwitheveryhonourandapplausethatmymostsanguineexpectationscoulddemand。Ihadalwaysatasteforthefashionable/jenesaisquoi/ofthemostelegantsociety,andinthepresenceofallthesovereignsofEuropeIeverfoundmyselfquiteathome,andexperiencedfromthewholecourtthemostflatteringesteemandadmiration。Iremember,oneparticularday,thefateoftheunfortunateMarquisdeBellecourt。TheCountessofRassinda,whoaccompaniedhim,lookedmostdivinely。"Yes,Iamconfident,"saidtheMarquisdeBellecourttome,"thatIhaveactedaccordingtothestrictestsentimentsofjusticeandofloyaltytomysovereign。Whatstrongerbreast—platethanaheartuntainted?andthoughIdidnotreceiveawordnoralook,yetIcannotthink——no,itwereimpossibletobemisrepresented。Consciousofmyownintegrity,Iwilltryagain——Iwillgoboldlyup。"TheMarquisdeBellecourtsawtheopportunity;
headvancedthreepaces,puthishanduponhisbreastandbowed。
"Permitme,"saidhe,"withthemostprofoundrespect,to————。"Histonguefaltered——hecouldscarcelybelievehissight,foratthatmomentthewholecompanyweremovingoutoftheroom。Hefoundhimselfalmostalone,desertedbyeveryone。"What!"saidhe,"anddidheturnuponhisheelwiththemostmarkedcontempt?Wouldhenotspeaktome?
Wouldhenotevenhearmeutterawordinmydefence?"Hisheartdiedwithinhim——notevenalook,asmilefromanyone。"Myfriends!Dotheynotknowme?Dotheynotseeme?Alas!theyfeartocatchthecontagionofmy————。Then,"saidhe,"adieu!——’tismorethanIcanbear。Ishallgotomycountryseat,andnever,neverwillreturn。
Adieu,fondcourt,adieu!——"
ThevenerableMarquisdeBellecourtstoppedforamomentereheenteredhiscarriage。Thricehelookedback,andthricehewipedthestartingtearfromhiseye。"Yes,"saidhe,"foronce,atleast,truthshallbefound——inthebottomofawell!"
Peacetothyghost,mostnoblemarquis!aKingofkingsshallpitythee;andthousandswhoareyetunbornshallowetheirhappinesstothee,andhavecausetoblessthethousands,perhaps,thatshallneverevenknowthyname;butMunchausen’sselfshallcelebratethyglory!
CHAPTERXXII
/PreparationsfortheBaron’sexpeditionintoAfrica——Descriptionofhischariot;thebeautiesofitsinteriordecorations;theanimalsthatdrewit,andthemechanismofthewheels。/
Everythingbeingconcluded,andhavingreceivedmyinstructionsforthevoyage,IwasconductedbytheillustriousHilaroFrosticos,theLadyFragrantia,andaprodigiouscrowdofnobility,andplacedsittinguponthesummitofthewhale’sbonesatthepalace;andhavingremainedinthissituationforthreedaysandthreenights,asatrialordeal,andaspecimenofmyperseveranceandresolution,thethirdhouraftermidnighttheyseatedmeinthechariotofQueenMab。Itwasaprodigiousdimension,largeenoughtocontainmorestowagethanthetunofHeidelberg,andglobularlikeahazel—nut:infact,itseemedtobereallyahazel—nutgrowntoamostextravagantdimension,andthatagreatwormofproportionableenormityhadboredaholeintheshell。ThroughthissameentranceIwasushered。Itwasaslargeasacoach—door,andItookmyseatinthecentre,akindofchairself—
balancedwithouttouchinganything,likethefanciedtombofMahomet。
Thewholeinteriorsurfaceofthenutshellappearedaluminousrepresentationofallthestarsofheaven,thefixedstars,theplanets,andacomet。Thestarswereaslargeasthosewornbyourfirstnobility,andthecomet,excessivelybrilliant,seemedasifyouhadassembledalltheeyesofthebeautifulgirlsinthekingdom,andcombinedthem,likeapeacock’splumage,intotheformofacomet——
thatis,aglobe,andabeardedtailtoit,diminishinggraduallytoapoint。Thisbeautifulconstellationseemedverysportiveanddelightful。Itwasmuchintheformofatadpole!and,withoutceasing,went,fullofplayfulgiddiness,upanddown,allovertheheavenontheconcavesurfaceofthenutshell。Onetimeitwouldbeatthatpartoftheheavensundermyfeet,andinthenextminutewouldbeovermyhead。Itwasneveratrest,butforevergoingeast,west,north,orsouth,andpaidnomorerespecttothedifferentworldsthaniftheyweresomanylanternswithoutreflectors。Someofthemhewoulddashagainstandpushoutoftheirplaces;othershewouldburnupandconsumetoashes:andothersagainhewouldsplitintofritters,andtheirfragmentswouldinstantlytakeaglobularform,likespilledquicksilver,andbecomesatellitestowhateverotherworldstheyshouldhappentomeetwithintheircareer。Inshort,thewholeseemedanepitomeofthecreation,past,present,andfuture;
andallthatpassesamongthestarsduringonethousandyearswasheregenerallyperformedinasmanyseconds。
Isurveyedallthebeautiesofthechariotwithwonderanddelight。
"Certainly,"criedI,"thisisheaveninminiature!"Inshort,Itookthereinsinmyhand。ButbeforeIproceedonmyadventures,Ishallmentiontherestofmyattendantfurniture。Thechariotwasdrawnbyateamofninebullsharnessedtoit,threeafterthree。InthefirstrankwasamosttremendousbullnamedJohnMowmowsky;therestwerecalledJacksingeneral,butnotdignifiedbyanyparticulardenomination。Theywereallshodforthejourney,notindeedlikehorses,withiron,orasbullockscommonlyare,todragonacart;butwereshodwithmen’sskulls。Eachoftheirfeetwas,hoofandall,crammedintoaman’shead,cutoffforthepurpose,andfastenedthereinwithakindofcementorpaste,sothattheskullseemedtobeapartofthefootandhoofoftheanimal。Withtheseskull—shoesthecreaturescouldperformastonishingjourneys,andslideuponthewater,orupontheocean,withgreatvelocity。Theharnesseswerefastenedwithgoldenbuckles,anddeckedwithstudsinasuperbstyle,andthecreatureswereriddenbyninepostillions,cricketsofagreatsize,aslargeasmonkeys,whosatsquatupontheheadsofthebulls,andwerecontinuallychirpingatamostinfernalrate,loudinproportiontotheirbodies。
Thewheelsofthechariotconsistedofupwardsoftenthousandsprings,formedsoastogivethegreaterimpetuositytothevehicle,andweremorecomplexthanadozenclockslikethatofStrasburgh。Theexternalofthechariotwasadornedwithbanners,andasuperbfestoonoflaurelthatformerlyshadedmeonhorseback。Andnow,havinggivenyouaveryconcisedescriptionofmymachinefortravellingintoAfrica,whichyoumustallowtobefarsuperiortotheapparatusofMonsieurVaillant,Ishallproceedtorelatetheexploitsofmyvoyage。
CHAPTERXXIII
/TheBaronproceedsonhisvoyage——ConvoysasquadrontoGibraltar——DeclinestheacceptanceoftheislandofCandia——HischariotdamagedbyPompey’sPillarandCleopatra’sNeedle——TheBaronout—
doesAlexander——Breakshischariot,andsplitsagreatrockattheCapeofGoodHope。/
Takingthereinsinmyhand,whilethemusicgaveageneralsalute,I
crackedmywhip,awaytheywent,andinthreehoursIfoundmyselfjustbetweentheIsleofWightandthemainlandofEngland。HereI
remainedfourdays,untilIhadreceivedpartofmyaccompaniment,whichIwasorderedtotakeundermyconvoy。’Twasasquadronofmen—
of—warthathadbeenalongtimepreparedfortheBaltic,butwhichwerenowdestinedfortheMediterranean。Bytheassistanceoflargehooksandeyes,exactlysuchasareworninourhats,butofagreatersize,somehundredweighteach,themen—of—warhookedthemselvesontothewheelsofthevehicle:and,infact,nothingcouldbemoresimpleorconvenient,becausetheycouldbehookedorunhookedinaninstantwiththeutmostfacility。Inshort,havinggivenageneraldischargeoftheirartillery,andthreecheers,Icrackedmywhip,awaywewent,helterskelter,andinsixjiffiesIfoundmyselfandallmyretinuesafeandingoodspiritsjustattherockofGibraltar。HereI
unhookedmysquadron,andhavingtakenanaffectionateleaveoftheofficers,Isufferedthemtoproceedintheirordinarymannertotheplaceoftheirdestination。Thewholegarrisonwerehighlydelightedwiththenoveltyofmyvehicle;andatthepressingsolicitationsofthegovernorandofficersIwentashore,andtookaviewofthatbarrenoldrock,aboutwhichmorepowderhasbeenfiredawaythanwouldpurchasetwiceasmuchfertilegroundinanypartoftheworld!
Mountingmychariot,Itookthereins,andagainmadeforward,inmadcareer,downtheMediterraneantotheisleofCandia。HereIreceiveddespatchesfromtheSublimePorte,entreatingmetoassistinthewaragainstRussia,witharewardofthewholeislandofCandiaformyalliance。AtfirstIhesitated,thinkingthattheislandofCandiawouldbeamostvaluableacquisitiontothesovereignwhoatthattimeemployedme,andthatthemostdeliciouswines,sugar,&c。,inabundancewouldflourishontheisland;yet,whenIconsideredthetradeoftheEastIndiaCompany,whichwouldmostprobablysufferbytheintercoursewithPersiathroughtheMediterranean,Iatoncerejectedtheproposal,andhadafterwardsthethanksoftheHonourabletheHouseofCommonsformyproprietyandpoliticaldiscernment。
HavingbeenproperlyrefreshedatCandia,Iagainproceeded,andinashorttimearrivedinthelandofEgypt。Thelandofthiscountry,atleastthatpartofitnearthesea,isverylow,sothatIcameuponitereIwasaware,andthePillarofPompeygotentangledinthevariouswheelsofthemachine,anddamagedthewholeconsiderably。
StillIdroveonthroughthickandthin,till,passingoverthatgreatobelisk,theNeedleofCleopatra,theworkgotentangledagain,andjoltedatamiserablerateoverthemudandswampygroundofallthatcountry;yetmypoorbullstrottedonwithastonishinglabouracrosstheIsthmusofSuezintotheRedSea,andleftatrack,anobscurechannel,whichhassincebeentakenbyDeTottfortheremainsofacanalcutbysomeofthePtolemiesfromtheRedSeatotheMediterranean;but,asyouperceive,wasinrealitynomorethanthetrackofmychariot,thecarofQueenMab。
Astheartistsatpresentinthatcountryarenothingwonderful,thoughtheancientEgyptians,’tissaid,weremostastonishingfellows,Icouldnotprocureanynewcoach—springs,orhaveapossibilityofsettingmymachinetorightsinthekingdomofEgypt;
andasIcouldnotpresumetoattemptanotherjourneyoverland,andthegreatmountainsofmarblebeyondthesourceoftheNile,IthoughtitmosteligibletomakethebestwayIcould,bysea,totheCapeofGoodHope,whereIsupposedIshouldgetsomeDutchsmithsandcarpenters,orperhapssomeEnglishartists;andmyvehiclebeingproperlyrepaired,itwasmyintentionthencetoproceed,overland,throughtheheartofAfrica。Thesurfaceofthewater,Iwellknew,affordedlessresistancetothewheelsofthemachine——itpassedalongthewaveslikethechariotofNeptune;andinshort,havinggottenupontheRedSea,wescuddedawaytoadmirationthroughthepassofBabelmandebtothegreatWesterncoastofAfrica,whereAlexanderhadnotthecouragetoventure。
Andreally,myfriends,ifAlexanderhadventuredtowardtheCapeofGoodHopehemostprobablywouldhaveneverreturned。ItisdifficulttodeterminewhethertherewerethenanyinhabitantsinthemoresouthernpartsofAfricaornot;yet,atanyrate,thisconqueroroftheworldwouldhavemadebutanonsensicaladventure;hismiserableships,notcontrivedforalongvoyage,wouldhavebecomeleaky,andfoundered,beforehecouldhavedoubledtheCape,andlefthisMajestyfairlybeyondthelimitsofthethenknownworld。YetitwouldhavebeenanaugustexitforanAlexander,afterhavingsubduedPersiaandIndia,tobewanderingtheLordknowswhere,toJuporAmmon,perhaps,oronavoyagetothemoon,asanIndianchiefoncesaidtoCaptainCook。
But,formypart,IwasfarmoresuccessfulthanAlexander;Idroveonwiththemostamazingrapidity,andthinkingtohaltonshoreattheCape,Iunfortunatelydrovetooclose,andshatteredtherightsidewheelsofmyvehicleagainsttherock,nowcalledtheTableMountain。
Themachinewentagainstitwithsuchimpetuosityascompletelyshiveredtherockinahorizontaldirection;sothatthesummitofthemountain,intheformofasemi—sphere,wasknockedintothesea,andthesteepmountainbecomingtherebyflattenedatthetop,hassincereceivedthenameoftheTableMountain,fromitssimilaritytothatpieceoffurniture。
Justasthispartofthemountainwasknockedoff,theghostoftheCape,thattremendousspritewhichcutssuchafigureintheLusiad,wasdiscoveredsittingsquatinanexcavationformedforhiminthecentreofthemountain。Heseemedjustlikeayoungbeeinhislittlecellbeforehecomesforth,orlikeabeaninabean—pod;andwhentheupperpartofthemountainwassplitacrossandknockedoff,thesuperiorhalfofhispersonwasdiscovered。Heappearedofabottle—
bluecolour,andstarted,dazzledwiththeunexpectedglareofthelight:hearingthedreadfulrattleofthewheels,andtheloudchirpingofthecrickets,hewasthunder—struck,andinstantlygivingashriek,sunkdowntenthousandfathomsintotheearth,whilethemountain,vomitingoutsomesmoke,silentlyclosedup,andleftnotatracebehind!
CHAPTERXXIV
/TheBaronsecureshischariot,&c。,attheCapeandtakeshispassageforEnglandinahomeward—boundIndiaman——Wreckeduponanislandofice,nearthecoastofGuinea——Escapesfromthewreck,andrearsavarietyofvegetablesupontheisland——MeetssomevesselsbelongingtothenegroesbringingwhiteslavesfromEurope,inretaliation,toworkupontheirplantationsinacoldclimateneartheSouthPole——ArrivesinEngland,andlaysanaccountofhisexpeditionbeforethePrivyCouncil——Greatpreparationsforanewexpedition——TheSphinx,GogandMagog,andagreatcompanyattendhim——TheideasofHilaroFrosticosrespectingtheinteriorpartsofAfrica。/
Iperceivedwithgriefandconsternationthemiscarriageofallmyapparatus;yetIwasnotabsolutelydejected:agreatmindisneverknownbutinadversity。WithpermissionoftheDutchgovernorthechariotwasproperlylaidupinagreatstorehouse,erectedatthewater’sedge,andthebullsreceivedeveryrefreshmentpossibleaftersoterribleavoyage。Well,youmaybesuretheydeservedit,andthereforeeveryattendancewasengagedforthem,untilIshouldreturn。
AsitwasnotpossibletodoanythingmoreItookmypassageinahomeward—boundIndiaman,toreturntoLondon,andlaythematterbeforethePrivyCouncil。
WemetwithnothingparticularuntilwearriveduponthecoastofGuinea,where,toourutterastonishment,weperceivedagreathill,seeminglyofglass,advancingagainstusintheopensea;theraysofthesunwerereflecteduponitwithsuchsplendour,thatitwasextremelydifficulttogazeatthephenomenon。Iimmediatelyknewittobeanislandofice,andthoughinsoverywarmalatitude,determinedtomakeallpossiblesailfromsuchhorribledanger。Wedidso,butallinvain,forabouteleveno’clockatnight,blowingaveryhardgale,andexceedinglydark,westruckupontheisland。Nothingcouldequalthedistraction,theshrieks,anddespairofthewholecrew,untilI,knowingtherewasnotamomenttobelost,cheereduptheirspirits,andbadethemnotdespond,butdoasIshouldrequestthem。Inafewminutesthevesselwashalffullofwater,andtheenormouscastleoficethatseemedtohemusinoneveryside,insomeplacesfallinginhideousfragmentsuponthedeck,killedonehalfofthecrew;uponwhich,gettinguponthesummitofthemast,Icontrivedtomakeitfasttoagreatpromontoryoftheice,andcallingtotheremainderofthecrewtofollowme,weallescapedfromthewreck,andgotuponthesummitoftheisland。
Therisingsunsoongaveusadreadfulprospectofoursituation,andtheloss,orrathericeification,ofthevessel;forbeingclosedinoneverysidewithcastlesoficeduringthenight,shewasabsolutelyfrozenoverandburiedinsuchamannerthatwecouldbeholdherunderourfeet,eveninthecentralsolidityoftheisland。Havingdebatedwhatwasbesttobedone,weimmediatelycutdownthroughtheice,andgotupsomeofthecablesofthevessel,andtheboats,which,makingfasttotheisland,wetoweditwithallourmight,determinedtobringhomeislandandall,orperishintheattempt。Onthesummitoftheislandweplacedwhatoakumanddregsofeverykindofmatterwecouldgetfromthevessel,which,inthespaceofaveryfewhours,onaccountoftheliquefyingoftheice,andthewarmthofthesun,weretransformedintoaveryfinemanure;andasIhadsomeseedsofexoticvegetablesinmypocket,weshortlyhadasufficiencyoffruitsandrootsgrowingupontheislandtosupplythewholecrew,especiallythebread—fruittree,afewplantsofwhichhadbeeninthevessel;andanothertree,whichboreplum—puddingssoveryhot,andwithsuchexquisiteproportionofsugar,fruit,&c。,thatweallacknowledgeditwasnotpossibletotasteanythingofthekindmoredeliciousinEngland:inshort,thoughthescurvyhadmadesuchdreadfulprogressamongthecrewbeforeourstrikingupontheice,thesupplyofvegetables,andespeciallythebread—fruitandpudding—fruit,putanalmostimmediatestoptothedistemper。
Wehadnotproceededthusmanyweeks,advancingwithincrediblefatiguebycontinualtowing,whenwefellinwithafleetofNegro—
men,astheycallthem。Thesewretches,Imustinformyou,mydearfriends,hadfoundmeanstomakeprizesofthosevesselsfromsomeEuropeansuponthecoastofGuinea,andtastingthesweetsofluxury,hadformedcoloniesinseveralnewdiscoveredislandsneartheSouthPole,wheretheyhadavarietyofplantationsofsuchmattersaswouldonlygrowinthecoldestclimates。AstheblackinhabitantsofGuineawereunsuitedtotheclimateandexcessivecoldofthecountry,theyformedthediabolicalprojectofgettingChristianslavestoworkforthem。ForthispurposetheysentvesselseveryyeartothecoastofScotland,thenorthernpartsofIreland,andWales,andwereevensometimesseenoffthecoastofCornwall。Andhavingpurchased,orentrappedbyfraudorviolence,agreatnumberofmen,women,andchildren,theyproceededwiththeircargoesofhumanfleshtotheotherendoftheworld,andsoldthemtotheirplanters,wheretheywerefloggedintoobedience,andmadetoworklikehorsesalltherestoftheirlives。
Mybloodrancoldattheidea,whileeveryoneontheislandalsoexpressedhishorrorthatsuchaniniquitoustrafficshouldbesufferedtoexist。But,exceptbyopenviolence,itwasfoundimpossibletodestroythetrade,onaccountofabarbarousprejudice,entertainedoflatebythenegroes,thatthewhitepeoplehavenosouls!However,weweredeterminedtoattackthem,andsteeringdownourislanduponthem,soonoverwhelmedthem:wesavedasmanyofthewhitepeopleaspossible,butpushedalltheblacksintothewateragain。Thepoorcreatureswesavedfromslaveryweresooverjoyed,thattheyweptaloudthroughgratitude,andweexperiencedeverydelightfulsensationtothinkwhathappinessweshouldshowerupontheirparents,theirbrothersandsistersandchildren,bybringingthemhomesafe,redeemedfromslavery,tothebosomoftheirnativecountry。
HavinghappilyarrivedinEngland,Iimmediatelylaidastatementofmyvoyage,&c。,beforethePrivyCouncil,andentreatedanimmediateassistancetotravelintoAfrica,and,ifpossible,refitmyformermachine,andtakeitalongwiththerest。Everythingwasinstantlygrantedtomysatisfaction,andIreceivedorderstogetmyselfreadyfordepartureassoonaspossible。
AstheEmperorofChinahadsentamostcuriousanimalasapresenttoEurope,whichwaskeptintheTower,anditbeingofanenormousstature,andcapableofperformingthevoyagewith/éclat/,shewasorderedtoattendme。ShewascalledSphinx,andwasoneofthemosttremendousthoughmagnificentfiguresIeverbeheld。Shewasharnessedwithsuperbtrappingstoalargeflat—bottomedboat,inwhichwasplacedanedificeofwood,exactlyresemblingWestminsterHall。Twoballoonswereplacedoverit,tackledbyanumberofropestotheboat,tokeepupaproperequilibrium,andpreventitfromoverturning,orfilling,fromtheprodigiousweightofthefabric。
Theinterioroftheedificewasdecoratedwithseats,intheformofanamphitheatre,andcrammedasfullasitcouldholdwithladiesandlords,asacouncilandretinueforyourhumbleservant。Nearlyinthecentrewasaseatelegantlydecoratedformyself,andoneithersideofmewereplacedthefamousGogandMagoginalltheirpomp。
TheLordViscountGosamerbeingourpostillion,wefloatedgallantlydowntheriver,thenobleSphinxgambollinglikethehugeleviathan,andtowingafterhertheboatandballoons。
Thusweadvanced,sailinggently,intotheopensea;beingcalmweather,wecouldscarcelyfeelthemotionofthevehicle,andpassedourtimeingranddebateuponthegloriousintentionofourvoyage,andthediscoveriesthatwouldresult。
"Iamofopinion,"saidmynoblefriend,HilaroFrosticos,"thatAfricawasoriginallyinhabitedforthegreaterpart,or,Imaysay,subjugatedbylionswhich,nexttoman,seemtobethemostdreadedofallmortaltyrants。Thecountryingeneral——atleast,whatwehavebeenhithertoabletodiscover,seemsratherinimicaltohumanlife;
theintolerabledrynessoftheplace,theburningsandsthatoverwhelmwholearmiesandcitiesingeneralruin,andthehideouslifemanyrovinghordesarecompelledtolead,inclinemetothink,thatifeverweformanygreatsettlementstherein,itwillbecomethegraveofourcountrymen。YetitisnearertousthantheEastIndies,andIcannotbutimagine,thatinmanyplaceseveryproductionofChina,andoftheEastandWestIndies,wouldflourish,ifproperlyattendedto。Andasthecountryissoprodigiouslyextensiveandunknown,whatasourceofdiscoverymustnotitcontain!Infact,weknowlessabouttheinteriorofAfricathanwedoofthemoon;forinthislatterwemeasuretheveryprominences,andobservethevarietiesandinequalitiesofthesurfacethroughourglasses——
"Forestsandmountainsonherspottedorb。
"ButweseenothingintheinteriorofAfrica,butwhatsomecompilersofmapsorgeographersarefancifulenoughtoimagine。Whatahappyevent,therefore,shouldwenotexpectfromavoyageofdiscoveryandcolonisationundertakeninsomagnificentastyleasthepresent!whatapride——whatanacquisitiontophilosophy!"
CHAPTERXXV
/CountGosamerthrownbySphinxintothesnowonthetopofTeneriffe——GogandMagogconductSphinxfortherestofthevoyage——TheBaronarrivesattheCape,anduniteshisformerchariot,&c。,tohisnewretinue——PassesintoAfrica,proceedingfromtheCapenorthwards——Defeatsahostoflionsbyacuriousstratagem——
Travelsthroughanimmensedesert——Hiswholecompany,chariot,&c。,overwhelmedbyawhirlwindofsand——Extricatesthem,andarrivesinafertilecountry。/
ThebraveCountGosamer,withapairofhell—firespurson,ridinguponSphinx,directedthewholeretinuetowardstheMadeiras。ButtheCounthadnosmallshareofanamiablevanity,andperceivinggreatmultitudesofpeople,Gascons,&c。,assembledupontheFrenchcoast,hecouldnotrefrainfromshowingsomesingularcapers,suchastheyhadneverseenbefore:butespeciallywhenheobservedallthemembersoftheNationalAssemblyextendthemselvesalongtheshore,asapieceofFrenchpoliteness,tohonourthisexpedition,withRousseau,Voltaire,andBeelzebubattheirhead;hesetspurstoSphinx,andatthesametimecutandcrackedawayashardashecould,holdinginthereinswithallhismight,strivingtomakethecreatureplungeandshowsomeuncommondiversion。Butsulkyandill—temperedwasSphinxatthetime:sheplungedindeed——suchadevilofaplunge,thatshedashedhiminonejerkoverherhead,andhefellprecipitatelyintothewaterbeforeher。ItwasintheBayofBiscay,alltheworldknowsaveryboisteroussea,andSphinx,fearinghewouldbedrowned,neverturnedtotheleftortherightoutofherway,butadvancingfurious,juststoopedherheadalittle,andsuppedthepoorcountoffthewater,intohermouth,togetherwiththequantityoftwoorthreetunsofwater,whichshemusthavetakeninalongwithhim,butwhichwere,tosuchanenormouscreatureasSphinx,nothingmorethanaspoonfulwouldbetoanyofyouorme。Sheswallowedhim,butwhenshehadgothiminherstomach,hislongspurssoscratchedandtickledher,thattheyproducedtheeffectofanemetic。Nosoonerwashein,butouthewassquirtedwiththemosthorribleimpetuosity,likeaballorashellfromthecalibreofamortar。Sphinxwasatthistimequitesea—
sick,andtheunfortunatecountwasdrivenforthlikeasky—rocket,andlandeduponthepeakofTeneriffe,plungedoverheadandearsinthesnow——/requiescatinpace!/
Iperceivedallthismischieffrommyseatintheark,butwasinsuchaconvulsionoflaughterthatIcouldnotutteranintelligibleword。
AndnowSphinx,deprivedofherpostillion,wentoninazigzagdirection,andgambolledawayafteramostdreadfulmanner。Andthushadeverythinggonetowreck,hadInotgiveninstantorderstoGogandMagogtosallyforth。Theyplungedintothewater,andswimmingoneachside,gotatlengthrightbeforetheanimal,andthenseizedthereins。Thustheycontinuedswimmingoneachside,liketritons,holdingthemuzzleofSphinx,whileI,sallyingforthastrideuponthecreature’sback,steeredforwardonourvoyagetotheCapeofGoodHope。
ArrivingattheCape,Iimmediatelygaveorderstorepairmyformerchariotandmachines,whichwereveryexpeditiouslyperformedbytheexcellentartistsIhadbroughtwithmefromEurope。Andnoweverythingbeingrefitted,welaunchedforthuponthewater:perhapsthereneverwasanythingseenmoregloriousormoreaugust。’TwasmagnificenttobeholdSphinxmakeherobeisanceonthewater,andthecricketschirpuponthebullsinreturnofthesalute;whileGogandMagog,advancing,tookthereinsofthegreatJohnMowmowsky,andleadingtowardsuschariotandall,instantlydisposedofthemtotheforepartofthearkbyhooksandeyes,andtackledSphinxbeforeallthebulls。Thusthewholehadamosttremendousandtriumphalappearance。InfrontfloatedforwardsthemightySphinx,withGogandMagogoneachside;nextfollowedinorderthebullswithcricketsupontheirheads;andthenadvancedthechariotofQueenMab,containingthecuriousseatandorreryofheaven;afterwhichappearedtheboatandarkofcouncil,overtoppedwithtwoballoons,whichgaveanairofgreaterlightnessandelegancetothewhole。Iplacedinthegalleriesundertheballoons,andonthebacksofthebulls,anumberofexcellentvocalperformers,withmartialmusicofclarionetsandtrumpets。Theysungthe"WateryDangers,"andthe"PompofDeepCerulean!"Thesunshonegloriousonthewaterwhiletheprocessionadvancedtowardtheland,underfivehundredarchesofice,illuminatedwithcolouredlights,andadornedinthemostgrotesqueandfancifulstylewithsea—weed,elegantfestoons,andshellsofeverykind;whileathousandwater—spoutsdancedeternallybeforeandafterus,attractingthewaterfromtheseainakindofcone,andsuddenlyunitingwiththemostfantasticalthunderandlightning。
Havinglandedourwholeretinue,weimmediatelybegantoproceedtowardtheheartofAfrica,butfirstthoughtitexpedienttoplaceanumberofwheelsunderthearkforitsgreaterfacilityofadvancing。
Wejourneyednearlyduenorthforseveraldays,andmetwithnothingremarkableexcepttheastonishmentofthesavagenativestobeholdourequipage。
TheDutchGovernmentattheCape,todothemjustice,gaveuseverypossibleassistancefortheexpedition。IpresumetheyhadreceivedinstructiononthatheadfromtheirHighMightinessesinHolland。
However,theypresenteduswithaspecimenofsomeofthemostexcellentoftheirCapewine,andshoweduseverypolitenessintheirpower。Astothefaceofthecountry,asweadvanced,itappearedinmanyplacescapableofeverycultivation,andofabundantfertility。
ThenativesandHottentotsofthispartofAfricahavebeenfrequentlydescribedbytravellers,andthereforeitisnotnecessarytosayanymoreaboutthem。ButinthemoreinteriorpartsofAfricatheappearance,manners,andgeniusofthepeoplearetotallydifferent。
Wedirectedourcoursebythecompassandthestars,gettingeverydayprodigiousquantitiesofgameinthewoods,andatnightencampingwithinaproperenclosureforfearofthewildbeasts。Onewholedayinparticularweheardoneveryside,amongthehills,thehorribleroaringoflions,resoundingfromrocktorocklikebrokenthunder。Itseemedasiftherewasageneralrendezvousofallthesesavageanimalstofalluponourparty。Thatwholedayweadvancedwithcaution,ourhuntersscarcelyventuringbeyondpistolshotfromthecaravanforfearofdissolution。Atnightweencampedasusual,andthrewupacircularentrenchmentroundourtents。Wehadscarceretiredtoreposewhenwefoundourselvesserenadedbyatleastonethousandlions,approachingequallyoneveryside,andwithinahundredpaces。Ourcattleshowedthemosthorriblesymptomsoffear,alltrembling,andincoldperspiration。Idirectlyorderedthewholecompanytostandtotheirarms,andnottomakeanynoisebyfiringtillIshouldcommandthem。Ithentookalargequantityoftar,whichIhadbroughtwithourcaravanforthatpurpose,andstreweditinacontinuedstreamroundtheencampment,withinwhichcircleoftarI
immediatelyplacedanothertrainorcircleofgunpowder,andhavingtakenthisprecaution,Ianxiouslywaitedthelions’approach。Thesedreadfulanimals,knowing,Ipresume,theforceofourtroop,advancedveryslowly,andwithcaution,approachingoneverysideofuswithanequalpace,andgrowlinginhideousconcert,soastoresembleanearthquake,orsomesimilarconvulsionoftheworld。Whentheyhadatlengthadvancedandsteepedalltheirpawsinthetar,theyputtheirnosestoit,smellingitasifitwereblood,anddaubedtheirgreatbushyhairandwhiskerswithitequaltotheirpaws。Atthatveryinstant,when,inconcert,theyweretogivethemortaldartuponus,Idischargedapistolatthetrainofgunpowder,whichinstantlyexplodedoneveryside,madeallthelionsrecoilingeneraluproar,andtaketoflightwiththeutmostprecipitation。Inaninstantwecouldbeholdthemscatteredthroughthewoodsatsomedistance,roaringinagony,andmovingaboutlikesomanyWill—o’—the—Wisps,theirpawsandfacesallonfirefromthetarandthegun—powder。I
thenorderedageneralpursuit:wefollowedthemoneverysidethroughthewoods,theirownlightservingasourguide,until,beforetherisingofthesun,wefollowedintotheirfastnessesandshotorotherwisedestroyedeveryoneofthem,andduringthewholeofourjourneyafterweneverheardtheroaringofalion,nordidanywildbeastpresumetomakeanotherattackuponourparty,whichshowstheexcellenceofimmediatepresenceofmind,andtheterrorinspiredintothesavageenemiesbyaproperandwell—timedproceeding。
Weatlengtharrivedontheconfinesofanimmeasurabledesert——animmenseplain,extendingoneverysideofuslikeanocean。Notatree,norashrub,norabladeofgrasswastobeseen,butallappearedanextremefinesand,mixedwithgold—dustandlittlesparklingpearls。
Thegold—dustandpearlsappearedtousoflittlevalue,becausewecouldhavenoexpectationofreturningtoEnglandforaconsiderabletime。Weobserved,atagreatdistance,somethinglikeasmokearisingjustoverthevergeofthehorizon,andlookingwithourtelescopesweperceivedittobeawhirlwindtearingupthesandandtossingitaboutintheheavenswithfrightfulimpetuosity。Iimmediatelyorderedmycompanytoerectamoundaroundusofagreatsize,whichwedidwithastonishinglabourandperseverance,andthenroofeditoverwithcertainplanksandtimber,whichwehadwithusforthepurpose。Ourlabourwasscarcelyfinishedwhenthesandcamerollinginlikethewavesofthesea;’twasastormandriverofsandunited。Itcontinuedtoadvanceinthesamedirection,withoutintermission,forthreedays,andcompletelycoveredoverthemoundwehaderected,andburiedusallwithin。Theintenseheatoftheplacewasintolerable;butguessing,bythecessationofthenoise,thatthestormwaspassed,wesetaboutdiggingapassagetothelightofdayagain,whichweeffectedinaveryshorttime,andascending,perceivedthatthewholehadbeensocompletelycoveredwiththesand,thatthereappearednohills,butonecontinuedplain,withinequalitiesorridgesonitlikethewavesofthesea。Wesoonextricatedourvehicleandretinuefromtheburningsands,butnotwithoutgreatdanger,astheheatwasveryviolent,andbegantoproceedonourvoyage。Stormsofsandofasimilarnatureseveraltimesattackedus,butbyusingthesameprecautionswepreservedourselvesrepeatedlyfromdestruction。Havingtravelledmorethanninethousandmilesoverthisinhospitableplain,exposedtotheperpendicularraysofaburningsun,withoutevermeetingarivulet,orashowerfromheaventorefreshus,weatlengthbecamealmostdesperate,when,toourinexpressiblejoy,webeheldsomemountainsatagreatdistance,andonournearerapproachobservedthemcoveredwithacarpetofverdureandgrovesandwoods。
Nothingcouldappearmoreromanticorbeautifulthantherocksandprecipicesintermingledwithflowersandshrubsofeverykind,andpalm—treesofsuchaprodigioussizeastosurpassanythingeverseeninEurope。Fruitsofallkindsappearedgrowingwildintheutmostabundance,andantelopesandsheepandbuffaloeswanderedaboutthegrovesandvalleysinprofusion。Thetreesresoundedwiththemelodyofbirds,andeverythingdisplayedageneralsceneofruralhappinessandjoy。
CHAPTERXXVI
/Afeastonlivebullsandkava——TheinhabitantsadmiretheEuropeanadventurers——TheEmperorcomestomeettheBaron,andpayshimgreatcompliments——TheinhabitantsofthecentreofAfricadescendedfromthepeopleofthemoonprovedbyaninscriptioninAfrica,andbytheanalogyoftheirlanguage,whichisalsothesamewiththatoftheancientScythians——TheBaronisdeclaredsovereignoftheinteriorofAfricaonthedeceaseoftheEmperor——Heendeavourstoabolishthecustomofeatinglivebulls,whichexcitesmuchdiscontent——TheadviceofHilaroFrosticosupontheoccasion——TheBaronmakesaspeechtoanAssemblyofthestates,whichonlyexcitesgreatermurmurs——HeconsultswithHilaroFrosticos。/
Havingpassedoverthenearestmountainsweenteredadelightfulvale,whereweperceivedamultitudeofpersonsatafeastoflivingbulls,whosefleshtheycutawaywithgreatknives,makingatableofthecreature’scarcase,serenadedbythebellowingoftheunfortunateanimal。Nothingseemedrequisitetoaddtothebarbarityofthisfeastbut/kava/,madeasdescribedinCook’svoyages,andattheconclusionofthefeastweperceivedthembrewingthisliquor,whichtheydrankwiththeutmostavidity。Fromthatmoment,inspiredwithanideaofuniversalbenevolence,Ideterminedtoabolishthecustomofeatinglivefleshanddrinkingofkava。ButIknewthatsuchathingcouldnotbeimmediatelyeffected,whateverinfuturetimemightbeperformed。
Havingrestedourselvesduringafewdays,wedeterminedtosetouttowardstheprincipalcityoftheempire。Thesingularityofourappearancewasspokenofalloverthecountryasaphenomenon。ThemultitudelookeduponSphinx,thebulls,thecrickets,theballoons,andthewholecompany,assomethingmorethanterrestrial,butespeciallythethunderofourfire—arms,whichstruckhorrorandamazementintothewholenation。
Weatlengtharrivedatthemetropolis,situatedonthebanksofanobleriver,andtheemperor,attendedbyallhiscourt,cameoutingrandprocessiontomeetus。Theemperorappearedmountedonadromedary,royallycaparisoned,withallhisattendantsonfootthroughrespectforhisMajesty。Hewasratherabovethemiddlestatureofthatcountry,fourfeetthreeinchesinheight,withacountenance,likeallhiscountrymen,aswhiteassnow!Hewasprecededbyabandofmostexquisitemusic,accordingtothefashionofthecountry,andhiswholeretinuehaltedwithinaboutfiftypacesofourtroop。Wereturnedthesalutebyadischargeofmusketry,andaflourishofourtrumpetsandmartialmusic。Icommandedourcaravantohalt,anddismounting,advanceduncovered,withonlytwoattendants,towardshisMajesty。Theemperorwasequallypolite,anddescendingfromhisdromedary,advancedtomeetme。"Iamhappy,"saidhe,"tohavethehonourtoreceivesoillustriousatraveller,andassureyouthateverythinginmyempireshallbeatyourdisposal。"
IthankedhisMajestyforhispoliteness,andexpressedhowhappyI
wastomeetsopolishedandrefinedapeopleinthecentreofAfrica,andthatIhopedtoshowmyselfandcompanygratefulforhisesteem,byintroducingtheartsandsciencesofEuropeamongthepeople。
Iimmediatelyperceivedthetruedescentofthispeople,whichdoesnotappearofterrestrialorigin,butdescendedfromsomeoftheinhabitantsofthemoon,becausetheprincipallanguagespokenthere,andinthecentreofAfrica,isverynearlythesame。Theiralphabetandmethodofwritingareprettymuchthesame,andshowtheextremeantiquityofthispeople,andtheirexaltedorigin。Iheregiveyouaspecimenoftheirwriting[/VideOtrckocsusdeOrig。Hung。/p。46]:——
Stregnah,dnaskoohtop。
ThesecharactersIhavesubmittedtotheinspectionofacelebratedantiquarian,anditwillbeprovedtothesatisfactionofeveryone,inhisnextvolume,whatanimmediateintercoursetheremusthavebeenbetweentheinhabitantsofthemoonandtheancientScythians,whichScythiansdidnotbyanymeansinhabitapartofRussia,butthecentralpartofAfrica,asIcanabundantlyprovetomyverylearnedandlaboriousfriend。Theabovewords,writteninourcharacters,are/Sregnahdnaskoohtop/;thatis,TheScythiansareofheavenlyorigin。
Theword/Sregnah/,whichsignifies/Scythians/,iscompoundedof/sreg/or/sre/,whenceourpresentEnglishwordsire,orsir:and/nah/,or/gnah/,knowledge,becausetheScythiansunitedtheessentialsofnobilityandlearningtogether:/dna/signifiesheaven,orbelongingtothemoon,from/duna/,whowasancientlyworshippedasgoddessofthatluminary。And/skooh—top/signifiestheoriginorbeginningofanything,from/skoo/,thenameusedinthemoonforapointingeometry,and/top/or/htop/,vegetation。ThesewordsareinscribedatthisdayuponapyramidinthecentreofAfrica,nearlyatthesourceoftheriverNiger;andifanyonerefuseshisassent,hemaygotheretobeconvinced。
Theemperorconductedmetohiscourtamidsttheadmirationofhiscourtiers,andpaiduseverypossiblepolitenessthatAfricanmagnificencecouldbestow。Heneverpresumedtoproceedonanyexpeditionwithoutconsultingus,andlookinguponusasaspeciesofsuperiorbeings,paidthegreatestrespecttoouropinions。HefrequentlyaskedmeaboutthestatesofEurope,andthekingdomofGreatBritain,andappearedlostinadmirationattheaccountIgavehimofourshipping,andtheimmensityoftheocean。WetaughthimtoregulatethegovernmentnearlyonthesameplanwiththeBritishconstitution,andtoinstituteaparliamentanddegreesofnobility。
Hismajestywasthelastofhisroyalline,andonhisdecease,withtheunanimousconsentofthepeople,mademeheirtothewholeempire。
Thenobilityandchiefsofthecountryimmediatelywaiteduponmewithpetitions,entreatingmetoacceptthegovernment。Iconsultedwithmynoblefriends,GogandMagog,&c。,andaftermuchconsultationitwasagreedthatIshouldacceptthegovernment,notasactualandindependentmonarchoftheplace,butasviceroytohisMajestyofEngland。
Inowthoughtithightimetodoawaythecustomofeatingoflivefleshanddrinkingofkava,andforthatpurposeusedeverypersuasivemethodtoweanthemajorityofthepeoplefromit。This,tomyastonishment,wasnottakeningoodpartbythenation,andtheylookedwithjealousyatthosestrangerswhowantedtomakeinnovationsamongthem。
Nevertheless,Ifeltmuchconcerntothinkthatmyfellow—creaturescouldbecapableofsuchbarbarity。Idideverythingthataheartfraughtwithuniversalbenevolenceandgoodwilltoallmankindcouldbecapableofdesiring。Ifirsttriedeverymethodofpersuasionandincitement。Ididnotharshlyreprovethem,butIinvitedfrequentlywholethousandstodine,afterthefashionofEurope,uponroastedmeat。Alas,’twasallinvain!mygoodnessnearlyexcitedasedition。
Theymurmuredamongthemselves,spokeofmyintentions,mywildandambitiousviews,asifI,Oheaven!couldhavehadanypersonalinterestedmotiveinmakingthemlivelikemen,ratherthanlikecrocodilesandtigers。Infine,perceivingthatgentlenesscouldbeofnoavail,wellknowingthatwhencomplaisancecaneffectnothingfromsomespirits,compulsionexcitesrespectandveneration,Iprohibited,underthepainoftheseverestpenalties,thedrinkingofkava,oreatingofliveflesh,forthespaceofninedays,withinthedistrictsofAngalinarandPaphagalna。
Butthiscreatedsuchanuniversalabhorrenceanddetestationofmygovernment,thatmyministers,andevenmyself,wereuniversallypasquinadoed;lampoons,satires,ridicule,andinsult,wereshowereduponthenameofMunchausenwhereveritwasmentioned;andinfine,thereneverwasagovernmentsomuchdetested,orwithsuchlittlereason。