’Tain’toftenIgetabitoffreshair。"
"Doingwell?"
"Thebusiness,"repliedHezekiah,"isgoingupbyleapsandbounds—
—leapsandbounds。But,ofcourse,allthatmeansharderworkforme。It’sfromsixinthemorningtilltwelveo’clockatnight。"
"There’snothingIknowof,"returnedSolomon,whowassomethingofapessimist,"that’sgivenawayfreegratisfornothingexceptmisfortune。"
"Keepingyourselfuptothemarkain’ttooeasy,"continuedHezekiah;"andwhenitcomestootherfolks!play’salltheythinkof。Talkreligiontothem——why,theylaughatyou!Whattheworld’scomingto,Idon’tknow。How’stheprintingbusinessdoing?"
"Theprintingbusiness,"respondedtheother,removinghispipeandspeakingsomewhatsadly,"theprintingbusinesslookslikebeingabigthing。Capital,ofcourse,iswhathampersme——or,rather,thewantofit。ButJanet,she’scareful;shedon’twastemuch,Janetdon’t。"
"Now,withAnne,"repliedHezekiah,"it’salltheotherway——
pleasure,gaiety,adayatRoshervilleortheCrystalPalace——
anythingtowastemoney。"
"Ah!shewasalwaysfondofherbitoffun,"rememberedSolomon。
"Fun!"retortedHezekiah。"Ilikeabitoffunmyself。Butnotifyou’vegottopayforit。Where’sthefuninthat?"
"WhatIaskmyselfsometimes,"saidSolomon,lookingstraightinfrontofhim,"iswhatdowedoitfor?"
"Whatdowedowhatfor?"
"Worklikeblessedslaves,deprivingourselvesofallenjoyments。
What’sthesenseofit?What——"
AvoicefromtheperambulatorbesidehimbrokethethreadofSolomonAppleyard’sdiscourse。ThesolesurvivingsonofHezekiahGrindley,seekingdistractionandfindingnone,hadcreptbackunperceived。Aperambulator!Athinghisexperiencetoldhimoutofwhichexcitementinsomeformoranothercouldgenerallybeobtained。Youworrieditandtookyourchance。Eitherithowled,inwhichcaseyouhadtorunforyourlife,followed——and,unfortunately,overtakenninetimesoutoften——byawhirlwindofvengeance;oritgurgled:inwhichcasetheheavenssmiledandhalosdescendedonyourhead。Ineithereventyouescapedthedeadlyennuithatistheresultofcontinuousvirtue。MasterGrindley,hisstarhavingpointedouttohimapeacock’sfeatherlyingontheground,had,withoneeyeuponhisunobservantparent,removedthecomplicatedcoveringsshelteringMissHelvetiaAppleyardfromtheworld,andanticipatingbyaquarterofacenturytheprimeenjoymentofBritishyouth,hadsettoworktoticklethatladyonthenose。MissHelvetiaAppleyardawakened,didpreciselywhatthetickledBritishmaidenofto—daymaybereliedupontodoundercorrespondingcircumstances:shefirstofalltookswiftandcomprehensivesurveyofthemalethingbehindthefeather。Hadhebeendispleasinginhereyes,shewould,onemayrelyuponit,haveantecededthebehaviourinsimilarcaseofherdescendantofto—day——thatistosay,haveexpressedresentmentinnouncertainterms。MasterNathanielGrindleyproving,however,tohertaste,thatwhichmighthavebeenconsideredimpertinencebecameacceptedasafitandproperformofintroduction。MissAppleyardsmiledgraciously——nay,further,intimateddesireformore。
"Thatyouronlyone?"askedthepaternalGrindley。
"She’stheonlyone,"repliedSolomon,speakingintoneslesspessimistic。
MissAppleyardhadwiththehelpofGrindleyjuniorwriggledherselfintoasittingposture。Grindleyjuniorcontinuedhisattentions,theladyindicatingbysignsthevariouspointsatwhichshewasmostsusceptible。
"Prettypicturetheymaketogether,eh?"suggestedHezekiahinawhispertohisfriend。
"Neversawhertaketoanyonelikethatbefore,"returnedSolomon,likewiseinawhisper。
Aneighbouringchurchclockchimedtwelve。SolomonAppleyard,knockingtheashesfromhispipe,arose。
"Don’tknowanyreasonmyselfwhyweshouldn’tseealittlemoreofoneanotherthanwedo,"suggestedGrindleysenior,shakinghands。
"Giveusalook—uponeSundayafternoon,"suggestedSolomon。
"Bringtheyoungsterwithyou。"
SolomonAppleyardandHezekiahGrindleyhadstartedlifewithinafewmonthsofoneanothersomefive—and—thirtyyearsbefore。
Likewisewithinafewhundredyardsofoneanother,Solomonathisfather’sbooksellingandprintingestablishmentontheeastsideoftheHighStreetofasmallYorkshiretown;Hezekiahathisfather’sgroceryshopuponthewestside,opposite。Bothhadmarriedfarmers’daughters。Solomon’snaturalbenttowardsgaietyFatehadcorrectedbydirectinghisaffectionstoapartnerinstinctwithYorkshireshrewdness;andwithshrewdnessgootherqualitiesthatmakeforsuccessratherthanforhappiness。Hezekiah,hadcircumstancesbeenequal,mighthavebeenhisfriend’srivalforJanet’scapableandsavinghand,hadnotsweet—tempered,laughingAnnieGlossop——directedbyProvidencetohermoralwelfare,onemustpresume——falleninlovewithhim。BetweenJane’svirtuesandAnnie’sthreehundredgoldensovereignsHezekiahhadnothesitatedamoment。Goldensovereignsweresolidfacts;wifelyvirtues,byaserious—mindedandstrong—willedhusband,couldbeinstilled——atallevents,light—heartednesssuppressed。Thetwomen,Hezekiahurgedbyhisownambition,Solomonbyhiswife’s,hadarrivedinLondonwithinayearofoneanother:Hezekiahtoopenagrocer’sshopinKensington,whichthosewhoshouldhaveknownassuredhimwasahopelessneighbourhood。ButHezekiahhadtheinstinctofthemoney—maker。Solomon,afterlookingabouthim,hadfixedupontheroomy,substantialhouseinNevill’sCourtasapromisingfoundationforaprinter’sbusiness。
Thatwastenyearsago。Thetwofriends,scorningdelights,livinglaboriousdays,hadseenbutlittleofoneanother。Light—heartedAnniehadbornetoherdourpartnertwochildrenwhohaddied。
NathanielGeorge,withthelucksupposedtowaitonnumberthree,hadlivedon,and,inheritingfortunatelythetemperamentofhismother,hadbroughtsunshineintothegloomyroomsabovetheshopinHighStreet,Kensington。Mrs。Grindley,grownweakandfretful,hadrestedfromherlabours。
Mrs。Appleyard’sguardianangel,prudentlikehisprotege,hadwaitedtillSolomon’sbusinesswaswellestablishedbeforedespatchingthestorktoNevill’sCourt,withalittlegirl。Laterhadsentaboy,who,notfindingthecloseairofSt。Dunstantohisliking,hadfoundhiswaybackagain;thuspassingoutofthisstoryandallothers。AndthereremainedtocarryonthelegendoftheGrindleysandtheAppleyardsonlyNathanielGeorge,nowagedfive,andJanetHelvetia,quiteabeginner,whotookliftseriously。
Therearenosuchthingsasfacts。Narrow—mindedfolk——surveyors,auctioneers,andsuchlike——wouldhaveinsistedthatthegardenbetweentheoldGeorgianhouseandNevill’sCourtwasastripoflandonehundredandeighteenfeetbyninety—two,containingalaburnumtree,sixlaurelbushes,andadwarfdeodora。ToNathanielGeorgeandJanetHelvetiaitwasthelandofThule,"thefurthestboundariesofwhichnomanhasreached。"OnrainySundayafternoonstheyplayedinthegreat,gloomypressroom,wheresilentogres,standingmotionless,stretchedoutironarmstoseizethemastheyran。ThenjustwhenNathanielGeorgewaseight,andJanetHelvetiafourandahalf,Hezekiahlaunchedthecelebrated"Grindley’sSauce。"Itaddedarelishtochopsandsteaks,transformedcoldmuttonintoaluxury,andswelledtheheadofHezekiahGrindley——whichwasbigenoughinallconscienceasitwas——andshrivelleduphislittlehardheart。TheGrindleysandtheAppleyardsvisitednomore。Asasensiblefellowoughttohaveseenforhimself,sothoughtHezekiah,theSaucehadalteredallthings。Thepossibilityofamarriagebetweentheirchildren,thingshavingremainedequal,mighthavebeenaprettyfancy;butthesonofthegreatGrindley,whosenameinthree—footlettersfacedtheworldfromeveryhoarding,wouldhavetolookhigherthanaprinter’sdaughter。Solomon,asuddenandvehementconverttotheprinciplesofmediaevalfeudalism,wouldratherseehisonlychild,granddaughteroftheauthorofTheHistoryofKettlewellandotherworks,deadandburiedthanmarriedtoagrocer’sson,eventhoughhemightinheritafortunemadeoutofpoisoningthepublicwithamixtureofmustardandsourbeer。ItwasmanyyearsbeforeNathanielGeorgeandJanetHelvetiametoneanotheragain,andwhentheydidtheyhadforgottenoneanother,HezekiahS。Grindley,ashort,stout,andpompousgentleman,satunderapalminthegorgeouslyfurnisheddrawing—roomofhisbighouseatNottingHill。Mrs。Grindley,athin,fadedwoman,thedespairofherdressmaker,satasneartothefireasitsmassiveandimposingcopperoutworkswouldpermit,andshivered。Grindleyjunior,afair—haired,well—shapedyouth,witheyesthattheothersexfoundattractive,leantwithhishandsinhispocketsagainstascrupulouslyrobedstatueofDiana,andappeareduncomfortable。
"I’mmakingthemoney——makingithandoverfist。Allyou’llhavetodowillbetospendit,"Grindleyseniorwasexplainingtohissonandheir。
"I’lldothatallright,dad。"
"I’mnotsosureofit,"washisfather’sopinion。"You’vegottoproveyourselfworthytospendit。Don’tyouthinkIshallbecontenttohaveslavedalltheseyearsmerelytoprovideabrainlessyoungidiotwiththemeansofself—indulgence。Ileavemymoneytosomebodyworthyofme。Understand,sir?——somebodyworthyofme。"
Mrs。Grindleycommencedasentence;Mr。Grindleyturnedhissmalleyesuponher。Thesentenceremainedunfinished。
"Youwereabouttosaysomething,"herhusbandremindedher。
Mrs。Grindleysaiditwasnothing。
"Ifitisanythingworthhearing——ifitisanythingthatwillassistthediscussion,let’shaveit。"Mr。Grindleywaited。"Ifnot,ifyouyourselfdonotconsideritworthfinishing,whyhavebegunit?"
Mr。Grindleyreturnedtohissonandheir。"Youhaven’tdonetoowellatschool——infact,yourschoolcareerhasdisappointedme。"
"IknowI’mnotclever,"Grindleyjuniorofferedasanexcuse。
"Whynot?Whyaren’tyouclever?"
Hissonandheirwasunabletoexplain。
"Youaremyson——whyaren’tyouclever?It’slaziness,sir;sheerlaziness!"
"I’lltryanddobetteratOxford,sir——honourbrightIwill!"
"Youhadbetter,"advisedhimhisfather;"becauseIwarnyou,yourwholefuturedependsuponit。Youknowme。You’vegottobeacredittome,tobeworthyofthenameofGrindley——orthename,myboy,isallyou’llhave。"
OldGrindleymeantit,andhissonknewthathemeantit。TheoldPuritanprinciplesandinstinctswerestrongintheoldgentleman——
formed,perhaps,thebetterpartofhim。Idlenesswasanabominationtohim;devotiontopleasure,otherthanthepleasureofmoney—making,agrievoussininhiseyes。GrindleyjuniorfullyintendedtodowellatOxford,andmighthavesucceeded。Inaccusinghimselfoflackofcleverness,hedidhimselfaninjustice。Hehadbrains,hehadenergy,hehadcharacter。Ourvirtuescanbeourstumbling—blocksaswellasourvices。YoungGrindleyhadoneadmirablevirtuethatneeds,aboveallothers,carefulcontrolling:hewasamiabilityitself。Beforethecharmandsweetnessofit,Oxfordsnobbishnesswentdown。TheSauce,againsttheearnestcounselofitsownadvertisement,wasforgotten;thepicklespassedby。ToescapethenaturalresultofhispopularitywouldhaveneededastrongerwillthanyoungGrindleypossessed。ForatimethetruestateofaffairswashiddenfromtheeyeofGrindleysenior。To"slack"itthisterm,withthefulldeterminationof"swotting"itthenext,isalwayseasy;thedifficultybeginningonlywiththenewterm。PossiblywithluckyoungGrindleymighthaveretrievedhispositionandcoveredupthetracesofhisfolly,butforanunfortunateaccident。Returningtocollegewithsomeotherchoicespiritsattwoo’clockinthemorning,itoccurredtoyoungGrindleythattroublemightbesavedallroundbycuttingoutapaneofglasswithadiamondringandenteringhisrooms,whichwereontheground—floor,bythewindow。That,inmistakeforhisown,heshouldhaveselectedthebedroomoftheCollegeRectorwasamisfortunethatmighthaveoccurredtoanyonewhohadcommencedtheeveningonchampagneandfinisheditonwhisky。YoungGrindley,havingbeenwarnedalreadytwicebefore,was"sentdown。"Andthen,ofcourse,thewholehistoryofthethreewastedyearscameout。OldGrindleyinhisstudychairhavingtalkedforhalfanhouratthetopofhisvoice,chose,partlybyreasonofphysicalnecessity,partlybyreasonofdormantdramaticinstinct,tospeakquietlyandslowly。
"I’llgiveyouonechancemore,myboy,andoneonly。I’vetriedyouasagentleman——perhapsthatwasmymistake。NowI’lltryyouasagrocer。"
"Asawhat?"
"Asagrocer,sir——g—r—o—c—e—r——grocer,amanwhostandsbehindacounterinawhiteapronandhisshirt—sleeves;whosellsteaandsugarandcandiedpeelandsuch—likethingstocustomers——oldladies,littlegirls;whorisesatsixinthemorning,takesdowntheshutters,sweepsouttheshop,cleansthewindows;whohashalfanhourforhisdinnerofcornedbeefandbread;whoputsuptheshuttersatteno’clockatnight,tidiesuptheshop,hashissupper,andgoestobed,feelinghisdayhasnotbeenwasted。I
meanttospareyou。Iwaswrong。YoushallgothroughthemillasIwentthroughit。Ifattheendoftwoyearsyou’vedonewellwithyourtime,learnedsomething——learnedtobeaman,atallevents——youcancometomeandthankme。"
"I’mafraid,sir,"suggestedGrindleyjunior,whosehandsomefaceduringthelastfewminuteshadgrownverywhite,"Imightnotmakeaverysatisfactorygrocer。Yousee,sir,I’vehadnoexperience。"
"Iamgladyouhavesomesense,"returnedhisfatherdrily。"Youarequiteright。Evenagrocer’sbusinessrequireslearning。Itwillcostmealittlemoney;butitwillbethelastIshalleverspenduponyou。Forthefirstyearyouwillhavetobeapprenticed,andIshallallowyousomethingtoliveon。ItshallbemorethanIhadatyourage——we’llsayapoundaweek。AfterthatIshallexpectyoutokeepyourself。"
Grindleyseniorrose。"Youneednotgivemeyouranswertilltheevening。Youareofage。Ihavenocontroloveryouunlessyouarewillingtoagree。Youcangomyway,oryoucangoyourown。"
YoungGrindley,whohadinheritedagooddealofhisfather’sgrit,feltverymuchinclinedtogohisown;but,hamperedontheotherhandbythesweetnessofdispositionhehadinheritedfromhismother,wasunabletowithstandtheargumentofthatlady’stears,sothateveningacceptedoldGrindley’sterms,askingonlyasafavourthatthesceneofhisprobationmightbeinsomeout—of—the—
wayneighbourhoodwheretherewouldbelittlechanceofhisbeingmetbyoldfriends。
"Ihavethoughtofallthat,"answeredhisfather。"Myobjectisn’ttohumiliateyoumorethanisnecessaryforyourgood。TheshopIhavealreadyselected,ontheassumptionthatyouwouldsubmit,isasquietandout—of—the—wayasyoucouldwish。ItisinaturningoffFetterLane,whereyou’llseefewotherpeoplethanprintersandcaretakers。You’lllodgewithawoman,aMrs。
Postwhistle,whoseemsaverysensibleperson。She’llboardyouandlodgeyou,andeverySaturdayyou’llreceiveapost—officeorderforsixshillings,outofwhichyou’llfindyourselfinclothes。Youcantakewithyousufficienttolastyouforthefirstsixmonths,butnomore。Attheendoftheyearyoucanchangeifyoulikeandgotoanothershop,ormakeyourownarrangementswithMrs。Postwhistle。Ifallissettled,yougothereto—morrow。Yougooutofthishouseto—morrowinanyevent。"
Mrs。Postwhistlewasalarge,placidladyofphilosophictemperament。Hithertothelittlegrocer’sshopinRollsCourt,FetterLane,hadbeeneasyofmanagementbyherownunaidedefforts;buttheneighbourhoodwasrapidlychanging。Othergrocers’shopsweredisappearingonebyone,makingwayforhugeblocksofbuildings,wherehundredsofironpresses,singingdayandnight,spreadtotheearththesongoftheMightyPen。Therewerehourswhenthelittleshopcouldhardlyaccommodateitscrowdofcustomers。Mrs。Postwhistle,ofabulknottobemovedquickly,had,aftermatureconsideration,conqueringanaturaldisinclinationtochange,decidedtoseekassistance。
YoungGrindley,alightingfromafour—wheeledcabinFetterLane,marchedupthecourt,followedbyaweak—kneedwastrelstaggeringundertheweightofasmallbox。Inthedoorwayofthelittleshop,youngGrindleypausedandraisedhishat。
"Mrs。Postwhistle?"
Thelady,fromherchairbehindthecounter,roseslowly。
"IamMr。NathanielGrindley,thenewassistant。"
Theweak—kneedwastrelletfalltheboxwithathuduponthefloor。
Mrs。Postwhistlelookedhernewassistantupanddown。
"Oh!"saidMrs。Postwhistle。"Well,Ishouldn’t’avefeltinstinctivelyitmustbeyou,notifI’d’adtopickyououtofacrowd。Butifyoutellmeso,why,Isupposeyouare。Comein。"
Theweak—kneedwastrel,receivingtohisastonishmentashilling,departed。
Grindleyseniorhadselectedwisely。Mrs。Postwhistle’stheorywasthatalthoughveryfewpeopleinthisworldunderstoodtheirownbusiness,theyunderstooditbetterthananyoneelsecouldunderstanditforthem。Ifhandsome,well—educatedyounggentlemen,whogaveshillingstowastrels,felttheywantedtobecomesmartandcapablegrocers’assistants,thatwastheiraffair。Herbusinesswastoteachthemtheirwork,and,forherownsake,toseethattheydidit。Amonthwentby。Mrs。
Postwhistlefoundhernewassistanthard—working,willing,somewhatclumsy,butwithasmileandalaughthattransformedmistakes,forwhichanotherwouldhavebeensoundlyrated,intowelcomevariationsoftheday’smonotony。
"Ifyouwerethesortofwomanthatcaredtomakeyourfortune,"
saidoneWilliamClodd,anoldfriendofMrs。Postwhistle’s,youngGrindleyhavingdescendedintothecellartogrindcoffee,"I’dtellyouwhattodo。Takeabun—shopsomewhereintheneighbourhoodofagirls’school,andputthatassistantofyoursinthewindow。You’ddoaroaringbusiness。"
"There’samysteryabout’im,"saidMrs。Postwhistle。
"Knowwhatitis?"
"IfIknewwhatitwas,Ishouldn’tbecallingitamystery,"
repliedMrs。Postwhistle,whowasastylistinherway。
"Howdidyougethim?Winhiminaraffle?"
"Jones,theagent,sent’imtomeallina’urry。AnassistantiswhatIreallywanted,notanapprentice;butthepremiumwasgood,andthereferenceseverythingonecoulddesire。"
"Grindley,Grindley,"murmuredClodd。"AnyrelationtotheSauce,Iwonder?"
"Abitmorewholesome,Ishouldsay,fromthelookofhim,"thoughtMrs。Postwhistle。
Thequestionofapostofficetomeetitsgrowingneedhadlongbeenunderdiscussionbytheneighbourhood。Mrs。Postwhistlewasapproacheduponthesubject。Grindleyjunior,eagerforanythingthatmightbringvarietyintohisnew,crampedexistence,undertooktoqualifyhimself。
Withintwomonthsthearrangementswerecomplete。Grindleyjuniordividedhistimebetweendispensinggroceriesanddespatchingtelegramsandletters,andwasgratefulforthechange。
Grindleyjunior’smindwasfixeduponthefashioningofacornucopiatoreceiveaquarterofapoundofmoist。Thecustomer,anextremelyyounglady,wasseekingtohastenhisoperationsbytappingincessantlywithapennyonthecounter。Itdidnothurryhim;itonlyworriedhim。Grindleyjuniorhadnotacquiredfacilityinthefashioningofcornucopias——thevertexwouldinvariablybecomeunrolledatthelastmoment,allowingthecontentstodribbleoutontothefloororcounter。Grindleyjuniorwassweet—temperedasarule,butwhenengageduponthefashioningofacornucopia,wasirritable。
"Hurryup,oldman!"urgedtheextremelyyounglady。"I’vegotanotherappointmentinlessthanhalfanhour。"
"Oh,damnthething!"saidGrindleyjunior,asthepaperforthefourthtimerevertedtoitsoriginalshape。
Anolderlady,standingbehindtheextremelyyoungladyandholdingatelegram—forminherhand,lookedindignant。
"Temper,temper,"remarkedtheextremelyyoungladyinreprovingtone。
Thefifthtimewasmoresuccessful。Theextremelyyoungladywentout,commentinguponthewasteoftimealwaysresultingwhenboyswereemployedtodotheworkofmen。Theolderlady,ahaughtyperson,handedacrosshertelegramwiththerequestthatitshouldbesentoffatonce。
Grindleyjuniortookhispencilfromhispocketandcommencedtocount。
"Digniori,notdigniorus,"commentedGrindleyjunior,correctingtheword,"daturdigniori,dativesingular。"Grindleyjunior,stillirritablefromthestrugglewiththecornucopia,spokesharply。
Thehaughtyladywithdrewhereyesfromaspotsometenmilesbeyondthebackoftheshop,wherehithertotheyhadbeenresting,andfixedthemforthefirsttimeuponGrindleyjunior。
"Thankyou,"saidthehaughtylady。
Grindleyjuniorlookedupandimmediately,tohisannoyance,feltthathewasblushing。Grindleyjuniorblushedeasily——itannoyedhimverymuch。
Thehaughtyyoungladyalsoblushed。Shedidnotoftenblush;whenshedid,shefeltangrywithherself。
"Ashillingandapenny,"demandedGrindleyjunior。
Thehaughtyyoungladycountedoutthemoneyanddeparted。
Grindleyjunior,peepingfrombehindatinofAbernethybiscuits,noticedthatasshepassedthewindowsheturnedandlookedback。
Shewasaverypretty,haughtylady。Grindleyjuniorratheradmireddark,levelbrowsandfinelycut,tremulouslips,especiallywhencombinedwithamassofsoft,brownhair,andaricholivecomplexionthatflushedandpaledasonelookedatit。
"Mightsendthattelegramoffifyou’venothingelsetodo,andthere’snoparticularreasonforkeepingitback,"suggestedMrs。
Postwhistle。
"It’sonlyjustbeenhandedin,"explainedGrindleyjunior,somewhathurt。
"You’vebeenlookingatitforthelastfiveminutesbytheclock,"
saidMrs。Postwhistle。
Grindleyjuniorsatdowntothemachine。ThenameandaddressofthesenderwasHelvetiaAppleyard,Nevill’sCourt。
Threedayspassed——singularlyemptydaystheyappearedtoGrindleyjunior。Onthefourth,HelvetiaAppleyardhadoccasiontodespatchanothertelegram——thistimeentirelyinEnglish。
"One—and—fourpence,"sighedGrindleyjunior。
MissAppleyarddrewforthherpurse。Theshopwasempty。
"HowdidyoucometoknowLatin?"inquiredMissAppleyardinquiteacasualtone。
"Ipickedupalittleatschool。ItwasaphraseIhappenedtoremember,"confessedGrindleyjunior,wonderingwhyheshouldbefeelingashamedofhimself。
"Iamalwayssorry,"saidMissAppleyard,"whenIseeanyonecontentwiththelowerlifewhosetalentsmight,perhaps,fithimforthehigher。"SomethingaboutthetoneandmannerofMissAppleyardremindedGrindleyjuniorofhisformerRector。Eachseemedtohavearrivedbydifferentroadsatthesamephilosophicalaloofnessfromtheworld,temperedbychastenedinterestinhumanphenomena。"Wouldyouliketotrytoraiseyourself——toimproveyourself——toeducateyourself?"
Anunseenlittlerogue,whowasenjoyinghimselfimmensely,whisperedtoGrindleyjuniortosaynothingbut"Yes,"heshould。
"Willyouletmehelpyou?"askedMissAppleyard。AndthesimpleandheartfeltgratitudewithwhichGrindleyjuniorclosedupontheofferprovedtoMissAppleyardhowtrueitisthattodogoodtoothersisthehighestjoy。
MissAppleyardhadcomepreparedforpossibleacceptance。"Youhadbetterbeginwiththis,"thoughtMissAppleyard。"Ihavemarkedthepassagesthatyoushouldlearnbyheart。Makeanoteofanythingyoudonotunderstand,andIwillexplainittoyouwhen——
whennextIhappentobepassing。"
Grindleyjuniortookthebook——Bell’sIntroductiontotheStudyoftheClassics,forUseofBeginners——andhelditbetweenbothhands。
Itspricewasninepence,butGrindleyjuniorappearedtoregarditasavolumeofgreatvalue。
"Itwillbehardworkatfirst,"MissAppleyardwarnedhim;"butyoumustpersevere。Ihavetakenaninterestinyou;youmusttrynottodisappointme。"
AndMissAppleyard,feelingallthesensationsofaHypatia,departed,takinglightwithherandforgettingtopayforthetelegram。MissAppleyardbelongedtotheclassthatyoungladieswhopridethemselvesonbeingtiresomelyignorantandfoolishsneeratas"blue—stockings";thatistosay,possessingbrains,shehadfeltthenecessityofusingthem。SolomonAppleyard,widower,asensibleoldgentleman,prosperingintheprintingbusiness,andseeingnonecessityforawomanregardingherselfasnothingbutadoll,asomewhatuninterestingplaythingthenewnessoncewornoff,thankfullyencouragedher。MissAppleyardhadreturnedfromGirtonwiseinmanythings,butnotinknowledgeoftheworld,whichknowledge,tooearlyacquired,doesnotalwaysmakeforgoodinyoungmanorwoman。Aseriouslittlevirgin,MissAppleyard’sambitionwastohelpthehumanrace。Whatmoreusefulworkcouldhavecometoherhandthantheraisingofthispoorbutintelligentyounggrocer’sassistantuntotheknowledgeandtheloveofhigherthings。ThatGrindleyjuniorhappenedtobeanexceedinglygood—
lookingandcharmingyounggrocer’sassistanthadnothingtodowiththematter,soMissAppleyardwouldhaveinformedyou。Inherownreasoningshewasconvincedthatherinterestinhimwouldhavebeenthesamehadhebeentheleastattractiveofhissex。Thattherecouldbedangerinsuchrelationshipneveroccurredtoher。
MissAppleyard,aconvincedRadical,couldnotconceivethepossibilityofagrocer’sassistantregardingthedaughterofawell—to—doprinterinanyotherlightthanthatofagraciouslycondescendingpatron。Thattherecouldbedangertoherself!youwouldhavebeensorryyouhadsuggestedtheidea。Theexpressionofloftyscornwouldhavemadeyoufeelyourselfcontemptible。
MissAppleyard’sjudgmentofmankindwasjustified;nomorepromisingpupilcouldhavebeenselected。ItwasreallymarvelloustheprogressmadebyGrindleyjunior,underthetutelageofHelvetiaAppleyard。Hisearnestness,hisenthusiasm,itquitetouchedtheheartofHelvetiaAppleyard。Thereweremanypoints,itistrue,thatpuzzledGrindleyjunior。Eachtimethelistofthemgrewlonger。ButwhenHelvetiaAppleyardexplainedthem,allbecameclear。Shemarvelledherselfatherownwisdom,thatinamomentmadedarknessluminoustothisyoungman;hisraptattentionwhileshetalked,itwasmostencouraging。Theboymustsurelybeagenius。Tothinkthatbutforherintuitionhemighthaveremainedwastedinagrocer’sshop!Torescuesuchagemfromoblivion,topolishit,wassurelythedutyofaconscientiousHypatia。Twovisits——threevisitsaweektothelittleshopinRollsCourtwerequiteinadequate,somanypassagestherewererequiringelucidation。Londoninearlymorningbecametheirclassroom:thegreat,wide,empty,silentstreets;themist—
curtainedparks,thesilencebrokenonlybytheblackbirds’amorouswhistle,thethrushes’invitationtodelight;theoldgardens,hiddenbehindnarrowways。NathanielGeorgeandJanetHelvetiawouldrestuponaseat,nolivingcreaturewithinsight,saveperhapsapassingpolicemanorsomedissipatedcat。JanetHelvetiawouldexpound。NathanielGeorge,hisfineeyesfixedonhers,seemednevertotireofdrinkinginherwisdom。
ThereweretimeswhenJanetHelvetia,toreassureherselfastothemaidenlycorrectnessofherbehaviour,hadtorecallquiteforciblythefactthatshewasthedaughterofSolomonAppleyard,ownerofthebigprintingestablishment;andheasimplegrocer。Oneday,raisedalittleinthesocialscale,thankstoher,NathanielGeorgewouldmarrysomeoneinhisownrankoflife。ReflectinguponthefutureofNathanielGeorge,JanetHelvetiacouldnotescapeashadeofsadness。ItwasdifficulttoimaginepreciselythewifeshewouldhavechosenforNathanielGeorge。Shehopedhewoulddonothingfoolish。Risingyoungmensooftenmarrywivesthathamperratherthanhelpthem。
OneSundaymorninginlateautumn,theywalkedandtalkedintheshadygardenofLincoln’sInn。Greektheythoughtitwastheyhadbeentalking;asamatteroffact,amucholderlanguage。Ayounggardenerwaswateringflowers,andastheypassedhimhegrinned。
Itwasnotanoffensivegrin,ratherasympatheticgrin;butMissAppleyarddidn’tlikebeinggrinnedat。Whatwastheretogrinat?
Herpersonalappearance?somegaucherieinherdress?Impossible。
NoladyinallSt。Dunstanwasevermoreprecise。Sheglancedathercompanion:aclean—looking,well—groomed,well—dressedyouth。
SuddenlyitoccurredtoMissAppleyardthatsheandGrindleyjuniorwereholdingeachother’shand。MissAppleyardwasjustlyindignant。
"Howdareyou!"saidMissAppleyard。"Iamexceedinglyangrywithyou。Howdareyou!"
Theoliveskinwasscarlet。Thereweretearsinthehazeleyes。
"Leavemethisminute!"commandedMissAppleyard。
Insteadofwhich,Grindleyjuniorseizedbothherhands。
"Iloveyou!Iadoreyou!Iworshipyou!"pouredforthyoungGrindley,forgetfulofallMissAppleyardhadevertoldhimconcerningthefollyoftautology。
"Youhadnoright,"saidMissAppleyard。
"Icouldn’thelpit,"pleadedyoungGrindley。"Andthatisn’ttheworst。"
MissAppleyardpaledvisibly。Foragrocer’sassistanttodaretofallinlovewithher,especiallyafterallthetroubleshehadtakenwithhim!Whatcouldbeworse?
"I’mnotagrocer,"continuedyoungGrindley,deeplyconsciousofcrime。"Imean,notarealgrocer。"
AndGrindleyjuniorthenandtheremadeacleanbreastofthewholesad,terribletaleofshamelessdeceit,practisedbythegreatestvillaintheworldhadeverproduced,uponthenoblestandmostbeautifulmaidenthateverturnedgrimLondontownintoafairycityofenchantedways。
NotatfirstcouldMissAppleyardentirelygraspit;nottillhourslater,whenshesataloneinherownroom,where,fortunatelyforhimself,Grindleyjuniorwasnot,didthewholeforceandmeaningofthethingcomehometoher。Itwasalargeroom,takinguphalfofthetopstoryofthebigGeorgianhouseinNevill’sCourt;butevenasitwas,MissAppleyardfeltcramped。
"Forayear——fornearlyawholeyear,"saidMissAppleyard,addressingthebustofWilliamShakespeare,"haveIbeenslavingmylifeout,teachinghimelementaryLatinandthefirstfivebooksofEuclid!"
Asithasbeenremarked,itwasfortunateforGrindleyjuniorhewasoutofreach。ThebustofWilliamShakespearemaintaineditsirritatingaspectofbenignphilosophy。
"IsupposeIshould,"musedMissAppleyard,"ifhehadtoldmeatfirst——asheoughttohavetoldme——ofcourseIshouldnaturallyhavehadnothingmoretodowithhim。Isuppose,"musedMissAppleyard,"amaninlove,ifheisreallyinlove,doesn’tquiteknowwhathe’sdoing。Isupposeoneoughttomakeallowances。
But,oh!whenIthinkofit——"
AndthenGrindleyjunior’sguardianangelmustsurelyhaveslippedintotheroom,forMissAppleyard,irritatedbeyondenduranceatthephilosophicalindifferenceofthebustofWilliamShakespeare,turnedawayfromit,andasshedidso,caughtsightofherselfinthelooking—glass。MissAppleyardapproachedtheglassalittlenearer。Awoman’shairisneverquiteasitshouldbe。MissAppleyard,standingbeforetheglass,began,sheknewnotwhy,tofindreasonsexcusingGrindleyjunior。Afterall,wasnotforgivenessanexcellentthinginwoman?Noneofusarequiteperfect。TheguardianangelofGrindleyjuniorseizedtheopportunity。
ThateveningSolomonAppleyardsatuprightinhischair,feelingconfused。Sofarashecouldunderstandit,acertainyoungman,agrocer’sassistant,butnotagrocer’sassistant——butthat,ofcourse,wasnothisfault,hisfatherbeinganoldbrute——hadbehavedmostabominably;butnot,onreflection,asbadlyashemighthavedone,andhadactedonthewholeveryhonourably,takingintoconsiderationthefactthatonesupposedhecouldhardlyhelpit。Helvetiawas,ofcourse,veryindignantwithhim,butontheotherhand,didnotquiteseewhatelseshecouldhavedone,shebeingnotatallsurewhethershereallycaredforhimorwhethershedidn’t;thateverythinghadbeenquiteproperandwouldnothavehappenedifshehadknownit;thateverythingwasherfault,exceptmostthings,whichweren’t;butthatofthetwosheblamedherselfentirely,seeingthatshecouldnothaveguessedanythingofthekind。Anddidhe,SolomonAppleyard,thinkthatsheoughttobeveryangryandnevermarryanybodyelse,orwasshejustifiedinoverlookingitandengagingherselftotheonlymanshefeltshecouldeverlove?
"Youmustn’tthink,Dad,thatImeanttodeceiveyou。Ishouldhavetoldyouatthebeginning——youknowIwould——ifithadn’tallhappenedsosuddenly。"
"Letmesee,"saidSolomonAppleyard,"didyoutellmehisname,ordidn’tyou?"
"Nathaniel,"saidMissAppleyard。"Didn’tImentionit?"
"Don’thappentoknowhissurname,doyou,"inquiredherfather。
"Grindley,"explainedMissAppleyard——"thesonofGrindley,theSauceman。"
MissAppleyardexperiencedoneofthesurprisesofherlife。Neverbeforetoherrecollectionhadherfatherthwartedasinglewishofherlife。Awidowerforthelasttwelveyears,hischiefdelighthadbeentohumourher。Hisvoice,ashepassionatelysworethatneverwithhisconsentshouldhisdaughtermarrythesonofHezekiahGrindley,soundedstrangetoher。Pleadings,eventears,forthefirsttimeinherlifeprovedfruitless。
Herewasaprettykettleoffish!ThatGrindleyjuniorshoulddefyhisownparent,riskpossiblythelossofhisinheritance,hadseemedtobothanotimproperproceeding。WhenNathanielGeorgehadsaidwithfineenthusiasm:"Lethimkeephismoneyifhewill;
I’llmakemyownway;thereisn’tenoughmoneyintheworldtopayforlosingyou!"JanetHelvetia,thoughshehadexpresseddisapprovalofsuchunfilialattitude,hadinsecretsympathised。
Butforhertodisregardthewishesofherowndotingfatherwasnottobethoughtof。Whatwastobedone?
PerhapsonePeterHope,residinginGoughSquarehardby,mighthelpyoungfolksinsoredilemmawithwisecounsel。PeterHope,editorandpartproprietorofGoodHumour,onepennyweekly,wasmuchesteemedbySolomonAppleyard,printerandpublisherofaforesaidpaper。
"Agoodfellow,oldHope,"Solomonwouldoftenimpressuponhismanagingclerk。"Don’tworryhimmorethanyoucanhelp;thingswillimprove。Wecantrusthim。"
PeterHopesatathisdesk,facingMissAppleyard。Grindleyjuniorsatonthecushionedseatbeneaththemiddlewindow。GoodHumour’ssub—editorstoodbeforethefire,herhandsbehindherback。
ThecaseappearedtoPeterHopetobeoneofexceedingdifficulty。
"Ofcourse,"explainedMissAppleyard,"Ishallnevermarrywithoutmyfather’sconsent。"
PeterHopethoughttheresolutionmostproper。
"Ontheotherhand,"continuedMissAppleyard,"nothingshallinducemetomarryamanIdonotlove。"MissAppleyardthoughttheprobabilitieswerethatshewouldendbybecomingafemalemissionary。
PeterHope’sexperiencehadledhimtotheconclusionthatyoungpeoplesometimeschangedtheirmind。
TheopinionoftheHouse,clearlythoughsilentlyexpressed,wasthatPeterHope’sexperience,asregardedthisparticularcase,countedfornothing。
"IshallgostraighttotheGovernor,"explainedGrindleyjunior,"andtellhimthatIconsidermyselfengagedforlifetoMissAppleyard。Iknowwhatwillhappen——Iknowthesortofideahehasgotintohishead。Hewilldisownme,andIshallgoofftoAfrica。"
PeterHopewasunabletoseehowGrindleyjunior’sdisappearanceintothewildsofAfricawasgoingtoassistthematterunderdiscussion。
Grindleyjunior’sviewwasthatthewildsofAfricawouldaffordafittingbackgroundtothepassingawayofablightedexistence。
PeterHopehadasuspicionthatGrindleyjuniorhadforthemomentpartedcompanywiththatsweetreasonablenessthatotherwise,soPeterHopefeltsure,wasGrindleyjunior’sguidingstar。
"Imeanit,sir,"reassertedGrindleyjunior。"Iam——"Grindleyjuniorwasabouttoadd"welleducated";butdiviningthateducationwasatopicnotpleasingatthemomenttotheearsofHelvetiaAppleyard,hadtactenoughtosubstitute"notafool。I
canearnmyownliving;andIshouldliketogetaway。"
"Itseemstome——"saidthesub—editor。
"Now,Tommy——ImeanJane,"warnedherPeterHope。HealwayscalledherJaneincompany,unlesshewasexcited。"Iknowwhatyouaregoingtosay。Iwon’thaveit。"
"Iwasonlygoingtosay——"urgedthesub—editorintoneofonesufferinginjustice。
"Iquiteknowwhatyouweregoingtosay,"retortedPeterhotly。
"Icanseeitbyyourchin。Youaregoingtotaketheirpart——andsuggesttheiractingundutifullytowardstheirparents。"
"Iwasn’t,"returnedthesub—editor。"Iwasonly——"
"Youwere,"persistedPeter。"Ioughtnottohaveallowedyoutobepresent。Imighthaveknownyouwouldinterfere。"
"——goingtosayweareinwantofsomehelpintheoffice。Youknowweare。AndthatifMr。Grindleywouldbecontentwithasmallsalary——"
"Smallsalarybehanged!"snarledPeter。
"——therewouldbenoneedforhisgoingtoAfrica。"
"Andhowwouldthathelpus?"demandedPeter。"Eveniftheboywereso——soheadstrong,sounfilialastodefyhisfather,whohasworkedforhimalltheseyears,howwouldthatremovetheobstacleofMr。Appleyard’srefusal?"
"Why,don’tyousee——"explainedthesub—editor。
"No,Idon’t,"snappedPeter。
"If,onhisdeclaringtohisfatherthatnothingwilleverinducehimtomarryanyotherwomanbutMissAppleyard,hisfatherdisownshim,ashethinksitlikely——"
"Adeadcert!"wasGrindleyjunior’sconviction。
"Verywell;heisnolongeroldGrindley’sson,andwhatpossibleobjectioncanMr。Appleyardhavetohimthen?"
PeterHopearoseandexpoundedatlengthandinsuitablelanguagethefollyanduselessnessofthescheme。
ButwhatchancehadeverthewisdomofAgeagainsttheenthusiasmofYouth,reachingforitsobject。PoorPeter,expostulating,wassweptintotheconspiracy。GrindleyjuniorthenextmorningstoodbeforehisfatherintheprivateofficeinHighHolborn。
"Iamsorry,sir,"saidGrindleyjunior,"ifIhaveprovedadisappointmenttoyou。"
"Damnyoursympathy!"saidGrindleysenior。"Keepittillyouareaskedforit。"
"Ihopewepartfriends,sir,"saidGrindleyjunior,holdingouthishand。
"Whydoyouirateme?"askedGrindleysenior。"Ihavethoughtofnothingbutyouthesefive—and—twentyyears。"
"Idon’t,sir,"answeredGrindleyjunior。"Ican’tsayIloveyou。
Itdidnotseemtomeyou——youwantedit。ButIlikeyou,sir,andIrespectyou。And——andI’msorrytohavetohurtyou,sir。"
"Andyouaredeterminedtogiveupallyourprospects,allthemoney,forthesakeofthis——thisgirl?"
"Itdoesn’tseemlikegivingupanything,sir,"repliedGrindleyjunior,simply。
"Itisn’tsomuchasIthoughtitwasgoingtobe,"saidtheoldman,afterapause。"Perhapsitisforthebest。Imighthavebeenmoreobstinateifthingshadbeengoingallright。TheLordhaschastenedme。"
"Isn’tthebusinessdoingwell,Dad?"askedtheyoungman,withsorrowinhisvoice。
"What’sitgottodowithyou?"snappedhisfather。"You’vecutyourselfadriftfromit。YouleavemenowIamgoingdown。"
Grindleyjunior,notknowingwhattosay,puthisarmsroundthelittleoldman。
AndinthiswayTommy’sbrilliantschemefellthroughandcametonaught。Instead,oldGrindleyvisitedonceagainthebighouseinNevill’sCourt,andremainedlongclosetedwitholdSolomonintheofficeonthesecondfloor。ItwaslateintheeveningwhenSolomonopenedthedoorandcalledupstairstoJanetHelvetiatocomedown。
"Iusedtoknowyoulongago,"saidHezekiahGrindley,rising。
"Youwerequitealittlegirlthen。"
Later,thetroublesomeSaucedisappearedentirely,cutoutbynewerflavours。Grindleyjuniorstudiedtheprintingbusiness。ItalmostseemedasifoldAppleyardhadbeenwaitingbutforthis。
Somesixmonthslatertheyfoundhimdeadinhiscounting—house。
GrindleyjuniorbecametheprinterandpublisherofGoodHumour。
STORYTHEFOURTH:MissRamsbothamgivesherServicesToregardMissRamsbothamasamarriageablequantitywouldhaveoccurredtofewmen。EndowedbyNaturewitheveryfemininequalitycalculatedtoinspireliking,shehad,ontheotherhand,beendisinheritedofeveryattributecalculatedtoexcitepassion。Anuglywomanhasforsomemenanattraction;theproofiseverpresenttooureyes。MissRamsbothamwasplainbutpleasantlooking。Large,healthyinmindandbody,capable,self—reliant,andcheerful,blessedwithahappydispositiontogetherwithakeensenseofhumour,therewasaboutherabsolutelynothingfortendernesstolayholdof。Anidealwife,shewasanimpossiblesweetheart。Everymanwasherfriend。Thesuggestionthatanymancouldbeherloversheherselfwouldhavegreetedwithaclear,ringinglaugh。
Notthatsheheldloveindespite;forsuchfollyshewaspossessedoffartoomuchsoundsense。"Tohavesomebodyinlovewithyou——
somebodystrongandgood,"soshewouldconfesstoherfewcloseintimates,adreamyexpressioncloudingforaninstantherbroad,sunnyface,"why,itmustbejustlovely!"ForMissRamsbothamwaspronetoAmericanphraseology,andhadevenbeenatsomepains,duringasixmonths’journeythroughtheStates(whithershehadbeencommissionedbyaconscientioustradejournalseekingreliableinformationconcerningtheconditionoffemaletextileworkers)toacquireaslightbutdecidedAmericanaccent。Itwasheroneaffectation,butassumed,asonemightfeelcertain,forapracticalandlegitimateobject。
"Youcanhavenoconception,"shewouldexplain,laughing,"whatahelpIfindit。’I’m’Muriken’isthe’CivisRomanussum’ofthemodernwoman’sworld。Itopenseverydoortous。IfIringthebellandsay,’Oh,ifyouplease,IhavecometointerviewMr。So—
and—Soforsuch—and—suchapaper,’thefootmanlooksthroughmeattheoppositesideofthestreet,andtellsmetowaitinthehallwhileheinquiresifMr。So—and—Sowillseemeornot。ButifI
say,’That’smykeerd,youngman。YoutellyourmasterMissRamsbothamiswaitingforhimintheshowroom,andwilltakeitrealkindifhe’lljustbustlehimself,’thepoorfellowwalksbackwardstillhestumblesagainstthebottomstair,andmygentlemancomesdownwithprofuseapologiesforhavingkeptmewaitingthreeminutesandahalf。
"’Andtobeinlovewithsomeone,"shewouldcontinue,"someonegreatthatonecouldlookuptoandhonourandworship——someonethatwouldfillone’swholelife,makeitbeautiful,makeeverydayworthliving,Ithinkthatwouldbebetterstill。Toworkmerelyforone’sself,tothinkmerelyforone’sself,itissomuchlessinteresting。"
Then,atsomesuchpointoftheargument,MissRamsbothamwouldjumpupfromherchairandshakeherselfindignantly。
"Why,whatnonsenseI’mtalking,"shewouldtellherself,andherlisteners。"Imakeaveryfairincome,haveahostoffriends,andenjoyeveryhourofmylife。Ishouldliketohavebeenprettyorhandsome,ofcourse;butnoonecanhaveallthegoodthingsofthisworld,andIhavemybrains。Atonetime,perhaps,yes;butnow——no,honestlyIwouldnotchangemyself。"
MissRamsbothamwassorrythatnomanhadeverfalleninlovewithher,butthatshecouldunderstand。
"Itisquitecleartome。"Soshehadonceunburdenedherselftoherbosomfriend。"Manforthepurposesoftheracehasbeengiventwokindsoflove,betweenwhich,accordingtohisopportunitiesandtemperament,heisfreetochoose:hecanfalldownuponhiskneesandadorephysicalbeauty(forNatureignoresentirelyourmentalside),orhecantakedelightincirclingwithhisprotectingarmtheweakandhelpless。Now,Imakenoappealtoeitherinstinct。Ipossessneitherthecharmnorbeautytoattract——"
"Beauty,"remindedherthebosomfriend,consolingly,"dwellsinthebeholder’seye。"
"Mydear,"cheerfullyrepliedMissRamsbotham,"itwouldhavetobeaneyeoftherangeandcapacitySamWellerfranklyowneduptonotpossessing——apatentdouble—millionmagnifying,capableofseeingthroughadealboardandroundthecornersortofeye——todetectanybeautyinme。AndIammuchtoobigandsensibleforanymannotafoolevertothinkofwantingtotakecareofme。
"Ibelieve,"rememberedMissRamsbotham,"ifitdoesnotsoundlikeidleboasting,Imighthavehadahusband,ofakind,ifFatehadnotcompelledmetosavehislife。ImethimoneyearatHuyst,asmall,quietwatering—placeontheDutchcoast。Hewouldwalkalwayshalfastepbehindme,regardingmeoutofthecornerofhiseyequiteapprovinglyattimes。Hewasawidower——agoodlittleman,devotedtohisthreecharmingchildren。Theytookanimmensefancytome,andIreallythinkIcouldhavegotonwithhim。Iamveryadaptable,asyouknow。Butitwasnottobe。Hegotoutofhisdepthonemorning,andunfortunatelytherewasnoonewithindistancebutmyselfwhocouldswim。Iknewwhattheresultwouldbe。YourememberLabiche’scomedy,LesVoyagedeMonsieurPerrichon?Ofcourse,everymanhateshavinghadhislifesaved,afteritisover;andyoucanimaginehowhemusthatehavingitsavedbyawoman。ButwhatwasItodo?Ineithercasehewouldbelosttome,whetherIlethimdrownorwhetherIrescuedhim。
So,asitreallymadenodifference,Irescuedhim。Hewasverygrateful,andleftthenextmorning。
"Itismydestiny。Nomanhaseverfalleninlovewithme,andnomaneverwill。IusedtoworrymyselfaboutitwhenIwasyounger。
AsachildIhuggedtomybosomforyearsanobservationIhadoverheardanauntofminewhispertomymotheroneafternoonastheysatknittingandtalking,notthinkingIwaslistening。’Younevercantell,’murmuredmyaunt,keepinghereyescarefullyfixeduponherneedles;’childrenchangeso。Ihaveknowntheplainestgirlsgrowupintoquitebeautifulwomen。IshouldnotworryaboutitifIwereyou——notyetawhile。’Mymotherwasnotatallabad—
lookingwoman,andmyfatherwasdecidedlyhandsome;sothereseemednoreasonwhyIshouldnothope。IpicturedmyselftheuglyducklingofAndersen’sfairy—tale,andeverymorningonwakingI
wouldrunstraighttomyglassandtrytopersuademyselfthatthefeathersoftheswanwerebeginningatlasttoshowthemselves。"
MissRamsbothamlaughed,agenuinelaughofamusement,forofself—
pitynotatracewasnowremainingtoher。
"LaterIpluckedhopeagain,"continuedMissRamsbothamherconfession,"fromthereadingofacertainschooloffictionmorepopulartwentyyearsagothannow。Intheseromancestheheroinewasneverwhatyouwouldcallbeautiful,unlessincommonwiththeheroyouhappenedtopossessexceptionalpowersofobservation。
Butshewasbetterthanthat,shewasgood。IdonotregardastimewastedthehoursIspentstudyingthisquaintliterature。Ithelpedme,Iamsure,toformhabitsthathavesincebeenofservicetome。Imadeapoint,whenanyyoungmanvisitorhappenedtobestayingwithus,ofrisingexceptionallyearlyinthemorning,sothatIalwaysappearedatthebreakfast—tablefresh,cheerful,andcarefullydressed,with,whenpossible,adew—
besprinkledflowerinmyhairtoprovethatIhadalreadybeenoutinthegarden。Theeffort,asfarastheyoungmanvisitorwasconcerned,wasalwaysthrownaway;asageneralrule,hecamedownlatehimself,andgenerallytoodrowsytonoticeanythingmuch。
Butitwasexcellentpracticeforme。Iwakenowatseveno’clockasamatterofcourse,whatevertimeIgotobed。Imademyowndressesandmostofourcakes,andtookcaretoleteverybodyknowit。ThoughIsayitwhoshouldnot,Iplayandsingratherwell。
Icertainlywasneverafool。Ihadnolittlebrothersandsisterstowhomtobeexceptionallydevoted,butIhadmycousinsaboutthehouseasmuchaspossible,anddamagedtheircharacters,ifanything,byover—indulgence。Mydear,itnevercaughtevenacurate!Iamnotoneofthosewomentorundownmen;Ithinkthemdelightfulcreatures,andinageneralwayIfindthemveryintelligent。Butwheretheirheartsareconcerneditisthegirlwiththefrizzyhair,whowantstwopeopletohelpheroverthestile,thatistheirideaofanangel。Nomancouldfallinlovewithme;hecouldn’tifhetried。ThatIcanunderstand;but"——
MissRamsbothamsunkhervoicetoamoreconfidentialtone——"whatI
cannotunderstandisthatIhaveneverfalleninlovewithanyman,becauseIlikethemall。"
"Youhavegiventheexplanationyourself,"suggestedthebosomfriend——oneSusanFossett,the"AuntEmma"ofTheLadies’Journal,anicewoman,buttalkative。"Youaretoosensible。"
MissRamsbothamshookherhead,"Ishouldjustlovetofallinlove。WhenIthinkaboutit,Ifeelquiteashamedofmyselffornothavingdoneso。"
Whetheritwasthisidea,namely,thatitwasherduty,orwhetheritwasthatpassioncametoher,unsought,somewhatlateinlife,andthereforeallthestronger,sheherselfwouldperhapshavebeenunabletodeclare。Certainonlyitisthatatoverthirtyyearsofagethisclever,sensible,clear—seeingwomanfelltosighingandblushing,startingandstammeringatthesoundingofaname,asthoughforalltheworldshehadbeenalove—sickgirlinherteens。
SusanFossett,herbosomfriend,broughtthestrangetidingstoBohemiaonefoggyNovemberafternoon,heropportunitybeingatea—
partygivenbyPeterHopetocommemoratethebirthdayofhisadopteddaughterandsub—editor,JaneHelen,commonlycalledTommy。
TheactualdateofTommy’sbirthdaywasknownonlytothegods;butoutoftheLondonmisttowifeless,childlessPetershehadcometheeveningofacertainNovembertheeighteenth,andthereforebyPeterandhisfriendsNovembertheeighteenthhadbeenmarkeduponthecalendarasadayonwhichtheyshouldrejoicetogether。
"Itisboundtoleakoutsoonerorlater,"SusanFossettwasconvinced,"soImayaswelltellyou:thatgabyMaryRamsbothamhasgotherselfengaged。"
"Nonsense!"wasPeterHope’sinvoluntaryejaculation。
"PreciselywhatImeantotellhertheverynexttimeIseeher,"
addedSusan。
"Whoto?"demandedTommy。
"Youmean’towhom。’Thepreepositiongovernstheobjectivecase,"
correctedherJamesDouglasMcTear,commonlycalled"TheWeeLaddie,"whohimselfwroteEnglishbetterthanhespokeit。
"Imeant’towhom,’"explainedTommy。
"Yedidnasayit,"persistedtheWeeLaddie。
"Idon’tknowtowhom,"repliedMissRamsbotham’sbosomfriend,sippingteaandbreathingindignation。"Tosomethingidioticandincongruousthatwillmakeherlifeamiserytoher。"
Somerville,thebriefless,heldthatintheabsenceofalldatasuchconclusionwasunjustifiable。
"Ifithadbeentoanythingsensible,"wasMissFossett’sopinion,"shewouldnothavekeptmeinthedarkaboutit,tospringituponmelikeabombshell。I’veneverhadsomuchasahintfromheruntilIreceivedthisabsurdscrawlanhourago。"
MissFossettproducedfromherbagaletterwritteninpencil。
"Therecanbenoharminyourhearingit,"wasMissFossett’sexcuse;"itwillgiveyouanideaofthestateofthepoorthing’smind。"
Thetea—drinkerslefttheircupsandgatheredroundher。"DearSusan,"readMissFossett,"Ishallnotbeabletobewithyouto—
morrow。Pleasegetmeoutofitnicely。Ican’trememberatthemomentwhatitis。You’llbesurprisedtohearthatI’mENGAGED——
tobemarried,Imean,IcanhardlyREALISEit。IhardlyseemtoknowwhereIam。HavejustmadeupmymindtorundowntoYorkshireandseegrandmamma。ImustdoSOMETHING。ImustTALKtoSOMEBODYand——forgiveme,dear——butyouAREsosensible,andjustnow——wellIdon’tFEELsensible。WilltellyouallaboutitwhenI
seeyou——nextweek,perhaps。YoumustTRYtolikehim。HeisSO
handsomeandREALLYclever——inhisownway。Don’tscoldme。I
neverthoughtitpossiblethatANYONEcouldbesohappy。It’squiteadifferentsortofhappinesstoANYothersortofhappiness。