ThomasBillingswasinhabitingthesamecounty,notcaredforbyeitherofthem;butordainedbyFatetojointhemoneday,andhaveamightyinfluenceuponthefortunesofboth。For,asithasoftenhappenedtothetravellerintheYorkortheExetercoachtofallsnuglyasleepinhiscorner,andonawakingsuddenlytofindhimselfsixtyorseventymilesfromtheplacewhereSomnusfirstvisitedhim:as,wesay,althoughyousitstill,Time,poorwretch,keepsperpetuallyrunningon,andsomustrundayandnight,withneverapauseorahaltoffiveminutestogetadrink,untilhisdyingday;
  letthereaderimaginethatsinceheleftMrs。Hayesandalltheotherworthypersonagesofthishistory,inthelastchapter,sevenyearshavespedaway;duringwhich,allourheroesandheroineshavebeenaccomplishingtheirdestinies。
  Sevenyearsofcountrycarpentering,orrathertrading,onthepartofahusband,ofceaselessscolding,violence,anddiscontentonthepartofawife,arenotpleasanttodescribe:soweshallomitaltogetheranyaccountoftheearlymarriedlifeofMr。andMrs。
  JohnHayes。The"NewgateCalendar"(towhichexcellentcompilationweandtheOTHERpopularnovelistsofthedaycanneverbesufficientlygrateful)statesthatHayeslefthishousethreeorfourtimesduringthisperiod,and,urgedbytherestlesshumoursofhiswife,triedseveralprofessions:returning,however,ashegrewwearyofeach,tohiswifeandhispaternalhome。Afteracertaintimehisparentsdied,andbytheirdemisehesucceededtoasmallproperty,andthecarpenteringbusiness,whichheforsometimefollowed。
  What,then,inthemeanwhile,hadbecomeofCaptainWood,orBrock,andEnsignMacshane?——theonlypersonsnowtobeaccountedforinourcatalogue。ForaboutsixmonthsaftertheircaptureandreleaseofMr。Hayes,thosenoblegentlemenhadfollowed,withmuchprudenceandsuccess,thattradewhichthecelebratedandpoliteDuval,theingeniousSheppard,thedauntlessTurpin,andindeedmanyotherheroesofourmostpopularnovels,hadpursued,——orwerepursuing,intheirtime。AndsoconsiderableweresaidtobeCaptainWood’sgains,thatreportswereabroadofhishavingsomewhereaburiedtreasure;towhichhemighthaveaddedmore,hadnotFatesuddenlycutshorthiscareerasaprig。HeandtheEnsignwere——shametosay——transportedforstealingthreepewter—potsoffarailingatExeter;andnotbeingknowninthetown,whichtheyhadonlyreachedthatmorning,theyweredetainedbynofurthercharges,butsimplycondemnedonthisone。Forthismisdemeanour,HerMajesty’sGovernmentvindictivelysentthemforsevenyearsbeyondthesea;
  and,asthefashionthenwas,soldtheuseoftheirbodiestoVirginianplantersduringthatspaceoftime。Itisthus,alas!
  thatthestrongarealwaysusedtodealwiththeweak,andmanyanhonestfellowhasbeenledtoruehisunfortunatedifferencewiththelaw。
  Thus,then,wehavesettledallscores。TheCountisinHollandwithhiswife;Mrs。CatinWarwickshirealongwithherexcellenthusband;MasterThomasBillingswithhisadoptiveparentsinthesamecounty;andthetwomilitarygentlemenwatchingtheprogressandcultivationofthetobaccoandcottonplantintheNewWorld。
  Allthesethingshavingpassedbetweentheacts,dingaring—a—dingaring—a—dingledingleding,thedropdrawsup,andthenextactbegins。Bytheway,theplayENDSwithadrop:butthatisneitherherenorthere。
  ***
  (Here,asinatheatre,theorchestraissupposedtoplaysomethingmelodious。Thepeoplegetup,shakethemselves,yawn,andsettledownintheirseatsagain。"Porter,ale,ginger—beer,cider,"comesround,squeezingthroughthelegsofthegentlemeninthepit。
  Nobodytakesanything,asusual;andlo!thecurtainrisesagain。
  "Sh,’shsh,’shshshhh!Hatsoff!"sayseverybody。)
  ***
  Mrs。HayeshadnowbeenforsixyearstheadoredwifeofMr。Hayes,andnooffspringhadarisentoblesstheirlovesandperpetuatetheirname。Shehadobtainedacompletemasteryoverherlordandmaster;andhavinghad,asfaraswasinthatgentleman’spower,everysinglewishgratifiedthatshecoulddemand,inthewayofdress,treatstoCoventryandBirmingham,drink,andwhatnot——for,thoughahardman,JohnHayeshadlearnedtospendhismoneyprettyfreelyonhimselfandher——havinghadallherwishesgratified,itwasnaturalthatsheshouldbegintofindoutsomemore;andthenextwhimshehituponwastoberestoredtoherchild。Itmaybeaswelltostatethatshehadneverinformedherhusbandoftheexistenceofthatphenomenon,althoughhewasawareofhiswife’sformerconnectionwiththeCount,——Mrs。Hayes,intheirmatrimonialquarrels,invariablytauntinghimwithaccountsofherformersplendourandhappiness,andwithhisownmeannessoftasteincondescendingtotakeupwithhisExcellency’sleavings。
  Shedetermined,then(butasyethadnotconfidedherdeterminationtoherhusband),shewouldhaveherboy;althoughinhersevenyears’residencewithintwentymilesofhimshehadneveroncethoughtofseeinghim:andthekindreaderknowsthatwhenhisexcellentladydeterminesonathing——ashawl,oranopera—box,oranewcarriage,ortwenty—foursinging—lessonsfromTamburini,oranightatthe"EagleTavern,"CityRoad,orarideina’bustoRichmondandteaandbrandy—and—waterat"RoseCottageHotel"——thereader,highorlow,knowsthatwhenMrs。Readerdesiresathinghaveitshewill;youmayjustaswelltalkofavoidingherasofavoidinggout,bills,orgreyhairs——andthat,youknow,isimpossible。I,formypart,havehadallthree——ay,andawifetoo。
  Isaythatwhenawomanisresolvedonathing,happenitwill;ifhusbandsrefuse,Fatewillinterfere(flecteresinequeo,etc。;butquotationsareodious)。AndsomehiddenpowerwasworkinginthecaseofMrs。Hayes,and,foritsownawfulpurposes,lendingheritsaid。
  Whohasnotfelthowheworks——thedreadfulconqueringSpiritofIll?Whocannotsee,inthecircleofhisownsociety,thefatedandforedoomedtowoeandevil?Somecallthedoctrineofdestinyadarkcreed;but,forme,Iwouldfaintryandthinkitaconsolatoryone。Itisbetter,withallone’ssinsuponone’shead,todeemoneselfinthehandsofFate,thantothink——withourfiercepassionsandweakrepentances;withourresolvessoloud,sovain,soludicrously,despicablyweakandfrail;withourdim,wavering,wretchedconceitsaboutvirtue,andourirresistiblepropensitytowrong,——thatwearetheworkersofourfuturesorroworhappiness。
  Ifwedependonourstrength,whatisitagainstmightycircumstance?Ifwelooktoourselves,whathopehavewe?Lookbackatthewholeofyourlife,andseehowFatehasmasteredyouandit。Thinkofyourdisappointmentsandyoursuccesses。HasYOUR
  strivinginfluencedoneortheother?Afitofindigestionputsitselfbetweenyouandhonoursandreputation;anappleplopsonyournoseandmakesyouaworld’swonderandglory;afitofpovertymakesarascalofyou,whowere,andarestill,anhonestman;
  clubs,trumps,orsixluckymainsatdice,makeanhonestmanforlifeofyou,whoeverwere,willbe,andarearascal。Whosendstheillness?whocausestheappletofall?whodeprivesyouofyourworldlygoods?orwhoshufflesthecards,andbringstrumps,honour,virtue,andprosperitybackagain?Youcallitchance;ay,andsoitischancethatwhenthefloorgivesway,andtheropestretchestight,thepoorwretchbeforeSt。Sepulchre’sclockdies。Onlywithus,clear—sightedmortalsasweare,wecan’tSEEtheropebywhichwehang,andknownotwhenorhowthedropmayfall。
  Butrevenonsanosmoutons:letusreturntothatsweetlambMasterThomas,andthemilk—whiteeweMrs。Cat。Sevenyearshadpassedaway,andshebegantothinkthatsheshouldverymuchliketoseeherchildoncemore。Itwaswrittenthatsheshould;andyoushallhearhow,soonafter,withoutanygreatexertionsofhers,backhecametoher。
  InthemonthofJuly,intheyear1715,therecamedownaroadabouttenmilesfromthecityofWorcester,twogentlemen;notmounted,Templar—like,upononehorse,buthavingahorsebetweenthem——asorrybay,withasorrysaddle,andalargepackbehindit;onwhicheachbyturntookaride。Ofthetwo,onewasamanofexcessivestature,withredhair,averyprominentnose,andafadedmilitarydress;whiletheother,anoldweather—beaten,sober—lookingpersonage,worethecostumeofacivilian——bothmananddressappearingtohavereachedtheautumnal,orseedystate。However,thepairseemed,inspiteoftheirapparentpoverty,tobepassablymerry。Theoldgentlemanrodethehorse;andhad,inthecourseoftheirjourney,riddenhimtwomilesatleastineverythree。Thetallonewalkedwithimmensestridesbyhisside;andseemed,indeed,asifhecouldhavequicklyoutstrippedthefour—footedanimal,hadhechosentoexerthisspeed,orhadnotaffectionforhiscomraderetainedhimathisstirrup。
  Ashorttimepreviouslythehorsehadcastashoe;andthisthetallmanonfoothadgatheredup,andwasholdinginhishand:ithavingbeenvotedthatthefirstblacksmithtowhoseshoptheyshouldcomeshouldbecalledupontofititagainuponthebayhorse。
  "Doyouremimberthiscounthry,Meejor?"saidthetallman,whowaslookingabouthimverymuchpleased,andsuckingaflower。"Ithinkthimgreencornfieldsisprettierlookingatthanthed—————tobackyoutyondther,andbadlacktoit!"
  "Irecollecttheplacerightwell,andsomequeerpranksweplayedheresevenyearsagone,"respondedthegentlemanaddressedasMajor。
  "Yourememberthatmanandhiswife,whomwetookinpawnatthe’ThreeRooks’?"
  "AndthelandladyonlyhunglastMichaelmas?"saidthetallman,parenthetically。
  "Hangthelandlady!——we’vegotallweeverwouldoutofHER,youknow。Butaboutthemanandwoman。Youwentafterthechap’smother,and,likeajackass,asyouare,lethimloose。Well,thewomanwasthatCatherinethatyou’veoftenheardmetalkabout。I
  likethewench,————her,forIalmostbroughtherup;andshewasforayearortwoalongwiththatscoundrelGalgenstein,whohasbeenthecauseofmyruin。"
  "Theinferrnalblackguardandruffian!"saidthetallman;who,withhiscompanion,hasnodoubtbeenrecognisedbythereader。
  "Well,thisCatherinehadachildbyGalgenstein;andsomewhereherehardbythewomanlivedtowhomwecarriedthebrattonurse。Shewasthewifeofablacksmith,oneBillings:itwon’tbeoutofthewaytogetourhorseshodathishouse,ifheisalivestill,andwemaylearnsomethingaboutthelittlebeast。Ishouldbegladtoseethemotherwellenough。"
  "DoIremimberher?"saidtheEnsign。"DoIremimberwhisky?SureIdo,andthesnivellingsneakherhusband,andthestoutoldladyhermother—in—law,andthedirtyone—eyedruffianwhosoldmetheparson’shatthathadsonearlybroughtmeintotrouble。Ohbutitwasararerisewegotoutofthemchaps,andtheoldlandladythat’shangedtoo!"AndherebothEnsignMacshaneandMajorBrock,orWood,grinned,andshowedmuchsatisfaction。
  Itwillbenecessarytoexplainthereasonofit。WegavetheBritishpublictounderstandthatthelandladyofthe"ThreeRooks,"
  atWorcester,wasanotoriousfence,orbankerofthieves;thatis,apurchaseroftheirmerchandise。InherhandsMr。Brockandhiscompanionhadleftpropertytotheamountofsixtyorseventypounds,whichwassecretedinacunningrecessinachamberofthe"ThreeRooks"knownonlytothelandladyandthegentlemenwhobankedwithher;andinthisplace,Mr。Sicklop,theone—eyedmanwhohadjoinedintheHayesadventure,hiscomrade,andoneortwoofthetoppingprigsofthecounty,werefree。Mr。SicklophadbeenshotdeadinanightattacknearBath:thelandladyhadbeensuddenlyhanged,asanaccompliceinanothercaseofrobbery;andwhen,ontheirreturnfromVirginia,ourtwoheroes,whosehopesoflivelihooddependeduponit,hadbenttheirstepstowardsWorcester,theywerenotalittlefrightenedtohearofthecruelfateofthehostessandmanyoftheamiablefrequentersofthe"ThreeRooks。"
  Allthegoodlycompanywereseparated;thehousewasnolongeraninn。Wasthemoneygonetoo?Atleastitwasworthwhiletolook——
  whichMessrs。BrockandMacshanedeterminedtodo。
  Thehousebeingnowaprivateone,Mr。Brock,withageniusthatwasabovehisstation,visiteditsowner,withahugeportfoliounderhisarm,and,inthecharacterofapainter,requestedpermissiontotakeaparticularsketchfromaparticularwindow。TheEnsignfollowedwiththeartist’smaterials(consistingsimplyofascrewdriverandacrowbar);anditishardlynecessarytosaythat,whenadmissionwasgrantedtothem,theyopenedthewell—knowndoor,andtotheirinexpressiblesatisfactiondiscovered,nottheirownpeculiarsavingsexactly,forthesehadbeenappropriatedinstantly,onhearingoftheirtransportation,butstoresofmoneyandgoodstotheamountofnearthreehundredpounds:towhichMr。Macshanesaidtheyhadasjustandhonourablearightasanybodyelse。Andsotheyhadasjustarightasanybody——excepttheoriginalowners:
  butwhowastodiscoverthem?
  Withthisbootytheysetoutontheirjourney——anywhere,fortheyknewnotwhither;anditsochancedthatwhentheirhorse’sshoecameoff,theywerewithinafewfurlongsofthecottageofMr。
  Billings,theblacksmith。Astheycamenear,theyweresalutedbytremendousroarsissuingfromthesmithy。Asmallboywasheldacrossthebellows,twoorthreechildrenofsmallerandlargergrowthwereholdinghimdown,andmanyothersofthevillageweregazinginatthewindow,whileaman,half—naked,waslashingthelittleboywithawhip,andoccasioningthecriesheardbythetravellers。Asthehorsedrewup,theoperatorlookedatthenew—
  comersforamoment,andthenproceededincontinentlywithhiswork;
  belabouringthechildmorefiercelythanever。
  Whenhehaddone,heturnedroundtothenew—comersandaskedhowhecouldservethem?whereuponMr。Wood(forsuchwasthenameheadopted,andbysuchweshallcallhimtotheend)wittilyremarkedthathoweverhemightwishtoserveTHEM,heseemedmightilyinclinedtoservethatyounggentlemanfirst。
  "It’snojokingmatter,"saidtheblacksmith:"ifIdon’tservehimsonow,he’llbeworseoffinhisoldage。He’llcometothegallows,assureashisnameisBill———nevermindwhathisnameis。"
  Andsosaying,hegavetheurchinanothercut;whichelicited,ofcourse,anotherscream。
  "Oh!hisnameisBill?"saidCaptainWood。
  "Hisname’sNOTBill!"saidtheblacksmith,sulkily。"He’snoname;
  andnoheart,neither。Mywifetookthebratin,sevenyearsago,fromabeggarlyFrenchchaptonurse,andshekepthim,forshewasagoodsoul"(herehiseyesbegantowink),"andshe’s——she’sgonenow"(herehebeganfairlytoblubber)。"Andd———him,outofloveforher,Ikepthimtoo,andthescoundrelisaliarandathief。
  Thisblessedday,merelytovexmeandmyboyshere,hespokeillofher,hedid,andI’ll——cut——his——life——out——I——will!"andwitheachwordhonestMulciberappliedawhackonthebodyoflittleTomBillings;who,byshrillshrieks,andoathsintreble,acknowledgedthereceiptoftheblows。
  "Come,come,"saidMr。Wood,"settheboydown,andthebellowsa—going;myhorsewantsshoeing,andthepoorladhashadstrappingenough。"
  Theblacksmithobeyed,andcastpoorMasterThomasloose。Ashestaggeredawayandlookedbackathistormentor,hiscountenanceassumedanexpressionwhichmadeMr。Woodsay,graspingholdofMacshane’sarm,"It’stheboy,it’stheboy!WhenhismothergaveGalgensteinthelaudanum,shehadtheself—samelookwithher!"
  "Hadshereallynow?"saidMr。Macshane。"Andpree,Meejor,whoWAS
  hismother?"
  "Mrs。Cat,youfool!"answeredWood。
  "Then,uponmysecredwordofhonour,shehasamightyfineKITTEN
  anyhow,mydear。Aha!"
  "Theydon’tDROWNsuchkittens,"saidMr。Wood,archly;andMacshane,takingtheallusion,clappedhisfingertohisnoseintokenofperfectapprobationofhiscommander’ssentiment。
  Whiletheblacksmithwasshoeingthehorse,Mr。Woodaskedhimmanyquestionsconcerningtheladwhomhehadjustbeenchastising,andsucceeded,beyondadoubt,inestablishinghisidentitywiththechildwhomCatherineHallhadbroughtintotheworldsevenyearssince。Billingstoldhimofallthevirtuesofhiswife,andthemanifoldcrimesofthelad:howhestole,andfought,andlied,andswore;andthoughtheyoungestunderhisroof,exercisedthemostbanefulinfluenceoveralltherestofhisfamily。Hewasdeterminedatlast,hesaid,toputhimtotheparish,forhedidnotdaretokeephim。
  "He’safinewhelp,andwouldfetchtenpiecesinVirginny,"sighedtheEnsign。
  "Crimp,ofBristol,wouldgivefiveforhim,"saidMr。Wood,ruminating。
  "Whynottakehim?"saidtheEnsign。
  "Faith,whynot?"saidMr。Wood。"Hiskeep,meanwhile,willnotbesixpenceaday。"Thenturningroundtotheblacksmith,"Mr。
  Billings,"saidhe,"youwillbesurprised,perhaps,tohearthatI
  knoweverythingregardingthatpoorlad’shistory。Hismotherwasanunfortunateladyofhighfamily,nownomore;hisfatheraGermannobleman,CountdeGalgensteinbyname。"
  "Theveryman!"saidBillings:"ayoung,fair—hairedman,whocameherewiththechild,andadragoonsergeant。"
  "CountdeGalgensteinbyname,who,onthepointofdeath,recommendedtheinfanttome。"
  "Anddidhepayyousevenyears’boarding?"saidMr。Billings,whowasquitealiveattheveryidea。
  "Alas,sir,notajot!Hedied,sir,sixhundredpoundsinmydebt;
  didn’the,Ensign?"
  "Sixhundred,uponmysecredhonour!Irememberwhenhegotintothehousealongwiththepoli——"
  "Psha!whatmattersit?"herebrokeoutMr。Wood,lookingfiercelyattheEnsign。"Sixhundredpoundsheowesme:howwashetopayyou?Buthetoldmetotakechargeofthisboy,ifIfoundhim;andfoundhimIhave,andWILLtakechargeofhim,ifyouwillhandhimover。"
  "SendourTom!"criedBillings。Andwhenthatyouthappeared,scowling,andyettrembling,andprepared,asitseemed,foranothercastigation,hisfather,tohissurprise,askedhimifhewaswillingtogoalongwiththosegentlemen,orwhetherhewouldbeagoodladandstaywithhim。
  Mr。Tomrepliedimmediately,"Iwon’tbeagoodlad,andI’drathergoto————thanstaywithyou!"
  "Willyouleaveyourbrothersandsisters?"saidBillings,lookingverydismal。
  "Hangmybrothersandsisters——Ihate’em;and,besides,Ihaven’tgotany!"
  "Butyouhadagoodmother,hadn’tyou,Tom?"
  Tompausedforamoment。
  "Mother’sgone,"saidhe,"andyouflogme,andI’llgowiththesemen。"
  "Well,then,gothyways,"saidBillings,startingupinapassion:
  "gothywaysforagracelessreprobate;andifthisgentlemanwilltakeyou,hemaydoso。"
  Aftersomefurtherparley,theconversationended,andthenextmorningMr。Wood’spartyconsistedofthree:alittleboybeingmounteduponthebayhorse,inadditiontotheEnsignorhimself;
  andthewholecompanywentjourneyingtowardsBristol。
  ***
  WehavesaidthatMrs。Hayeshad,onasudden,takenafitofmaternalaffection,andwasbentuponbeingrestoredtoherchild;
  andthatbenigndestinywhichwatchedoverthelifeofthisluckyladyinstantlysetaboutgratifyingherwish,and,withoutcosttoherselfofcoach—hireorsaddle—horse,senttheyounggentlemanveryquicklytoherarms。ThevillageinwhichtheHayesesdweltwasbutaveryfewmilesoutoftheroadfromBristol;whither,onthebenevolentmissionabove,hintedat,ourpartyofworthieswerebound:andcoming,towardstheafternoon,insightofthehouseofthatveryJusticeBallancewhohadbeensonearlytheruinofEnsignMacshane,thatofficernarrated,forthehundredthtime,andwithmuchglee,thecircumstanceswhichhadthenbefallenhim,andthemannerinwhichMrs。Hayestheelderhadcomeforwardtohisrescue。
  "Supposewegoandseetheoldgirl?"suggestedMr。Wood。"Noharmcancometousnow。"Andhiscomradealwaysassenting,theywoundtheirwaytowardsthevillage,andreacheditastheeveningcameon。Inthepublic—housewheretheyrested,WoodmadeinquiriesconcerningtheHayesfamily;wasinformedofthedeathoftheoldcouple,oftheestablishmentofJohnHayesandhiswifeintheirplace,andofthekindoflifethattheselatterledtogether。Whenallthesepointshadbeenimpartedtohim,heruminatedmuch:anexpressionofsublimetriumphandexultationatlengthlighteduphisfeatures。"Ithink,Tim,"saidheatlast,"thatwecanmakemorethanfivepiecesofthatboy。"
  "Oh,incoorse!"saidTimothyMacshane,Esquire;whoalwaysagreedwithhis"Meejor。"
  "Incoorse,youfool!andhow?I’lltellyouhow。ThisHayesiswelltodointheworld,and——"
  "Andwe’llnabhimagain——ha,ha!"roaredoutMacshane。"Bymysecredhonour,Meejor,thereneverwasaginerallikeyouatastrathyjam!"
  "Peace,youbellowingdonkey,anddon’twakethechild。Themaniswelltodo,hiswiferuleshim,andtheyhavenochildren。Now,eithershewillbeverygladtohavetheboybackagain,andpayforthefindingofhim,orelseshehassaidnothingabouthim,andwillpayusforbeingsilenttoo:or,atanyrate,Hayeshimselfwillbeashamedatfindinghiswifethemotherofachildayearolderthanhismarriage,andwillpayforthekeepingofthebrataway。
  There’sprofit,mydear,inanyoneofthecases,ormyname’snotPeterBrock。"
  WhentheEnsignunderstoodthiswondrousargument,hewouldfainhavefallenonhiskneesandworshippedhisfriendandguide。Theybeganoperations,almostimmediately,byanattackonMrs。Hayes。
  Onhearing,asshedidinprivateinterviewwiththeex—corporalthenextmorning,thathersonwasfound,shewasagitatedbybothofthepassionswhichWoodattributedtoher。Shelongedtohavetheboyback,andwouldgiveanyreasonablesumtoseehim;butshedreadedexposure,andwouldpayequallytoavoidthat。Howcouldshegaintheonepointandescapetheother?
  Mrs。Hayeshituponanexpedientwhich,Iamgiventounderstand,isnotuncommonnowadays。Shesuddenlydiscoveredthatshehadadearbrother,whohadbeenobligedtoflythecountryinconsequenceofhavingjoinedthePretender,andhaddiedinFrance,leavingbehindhimanonlyson。Thisboyherbrotherhad,withhislastbreath,recommendedtoherprotection,andhadconfidedhimtothechargeofabrotherofficerwhowasnowinthecountry,andwouldspeedilymakehisappearance;and,toputthestorybeyondadoubt,Mr。Woodwrotetheletterfromherbrotherstatingalltheseparticulars,andEnsignMacshanereceivedfullinstructionshowtoperformthepartofthe"brotherofficer。"WhatconsiderationMr。Woodreceivedforhisservices,wecannotsay;onlyitiswellknownthatMr。Hayescausedtobecommittedtogaolayoungapprenticeinhisservice,chargedwithhavingbrokenopenacupboardinwhichMr。Hayeshadfortyguineasingoldandsilver,andtowhichnonebutheandhiswifehadaccess。
  Havingmadethesearrangements,theCorporalandhislittlepartydecampedtoashortdistance,andMrs。Catherinewaslefttoprepareherhusbandforaspeedyadditiontohisfamily,intheshapeofthisdarlingnephew。JohnHayesreceivedthenewswithanythingbutpleasure。HehadneverheardofanybrotherofCatherine’s;shehadbeenbredattheworkhouse,andnobodyeverhintedthatshehadrelatives:butitiseasyforaladyofmoderategeniustoinventcircumstances;andwithlies,tears,threats,coaxings,oaths,andotherblandishments,shecompelledhimtosubmit。
  Twodaysafterwards,asMr。Hayeswasworkinginhisshopwithhisladyseatedbesidehim,thetramplingofahorsewasheardinhiscourtyard,andagentleman,ofhugestature,descendedfromit,andstrodeintotheshop。Hisfigurewaswrappedinalargecloak;butMr。Hayescouldnothelpfancyingthathehadsomewhereseenhisfacebefore。
  "This,Ipreshoom,"saidthegentleman,"isMistherHayes,thatI
  havecomesomanymilestosee,andthisishisamiablelady?Iwasthemostintimatefrind,madam,ofyourlamintedbrother,whodiedinKingLewis’sservice,andwhoselasttouchingletthersI
  despatchedtoyoutwodaysago。Ihavewithmeafurtherprecioustokenofmydearfriend,CaptainHall——itisHERE。"
  Andsosaying,themilitarygentleman,withonearm,removedhiscloak,andstretchingforwardtheotherintoHayes’sfacealmost,stretchedlikewiseforwardalittleboy,grinningandsprawlingintheair,andpreventedonlyfromfallingtothegroundbytheholdwhichtheEnsignkeptofthewaistbandofhislittlecoatandbreeches。
  "Isn’theaprettyboy?"saidMrs。Hayes,sidlinguptoherhusbandtenderly,andpressingoneofMr。Hayes’shands。
  ***
  Aboutthelad’sbeautyitisneedlesstosaywhatthecarpenterthought;butthatnight,andformanymanynightsafter,theladstayedatMr。Hayes’s。
  CHAPTERVIII。ENUMERATESTHEACCOMPLISHMENTSOFMASTERTHOMAS
  BILLINGS——INTRODUCESBROCKASDOCTORWOOD——ANDANNOUNCESTHE
  EXECUTIONOFENSIGNMACSHANE。
  Weareobliged,inrecordingthishistory,tofollowaccuratelythatgreatauthority,the"CalendariumNewgaticumRoagorumqueRegisterium,"ofwhicheveryloverofliterature,inthepresentdayknowsthevalue;andasthatremarkableworktotallydiscardsalltheunitiesinitsnarratives,andreckonsthelifeofitsheroesonlybytheiractions,andnotbyperiodsoftime,wemustfollowinthewakeofthismightyark——ahumblecock—boat。Whenitpauses,wepause;whenitrunstenknotsanhour,werunwiththesamecelerity;andas,inordertocarrythereaderfromthepenultimatechapterofthisworkuntothelastchapter,wewerecompelledtomakehimleapoveragapofsevenblankyears,tenyearsmoremustlikewisebegrantedtousbeforeweareatlibertytoresumeourhistory。
  Duringthatperiod,MasterThomasBillingshadbeenundertheespecialcareofhismother;and,asmaybeimagined,heratherincreasedthandiminishedtheaccomplishmentsforwhichhehadbeenremarkablewhileundertheroofofhisfoster—father。Andwiththisadvantage,thatwhileattheblacksmith’s,andonlythreeorfouryearsofage,hisvirtueswerenecessarilyappreciatedonlyinhisfamilycircleandamongthosefewacquaintancesofhisowntimeoflifewhomayouthofthreecanbeexpectedtomeetinthealleysorovertheguttersofasmallcountryhamlet,——inhismothersresidence,hiscircleextendedwithhisowngrowth,andhebegantogiveproofsofthosepowersofwhichininfancytherehadbeenonlyencouragingindications。Thusitwasnowiseremarkablethatachildoffouryearsshouldnotknowhisletters,andshouldhavehadagreatdisinclinationtolearnthem;butwhenayoungmanoffifteenshowedthesamecreditableignorance,thesameundeviatingdislike,itwaseasytoseethathepossessedmuchresolutionandperseverance。Whenitwasremarked,too,that,incaseofanydifference,henotonlybeattheusher,butbynomeansdisdainedtotormentandbullytheverysmallestboysoftheschool,itwaseasytoseethathismindwascomprehensiveandcareful,aswellascourageousandgrasping。AsitwassaidoftheDukeofWellington,inthePeninsula,thathehadathoughtforeverybody——fromLordHilltothesmallestdrummerinthearmy——inlikemannerTomBillingsbestowedHISattentiononhighandlow;butintheshapeofblows:hewouldfightthestrongestandkickthesmallest,andwasalwaysatworkwithoneortheother。Atthirteen,whenhewasremovedfromtheestablishmentwhitherhehadbeensent,hewasthecockoftheschooloutofdoors,andtheverylastboyin。Heusedtoletthelittleboysandnew—comerspasshimby,andlaugh;buthealwaysbelabouredthemunmercifullyafterwards;andthenitwas,hesaid,HISturntolaugh。Withsuchapugnaciousturn,TomBillingsoughttohavebeenmadeasoldier,andmighthavediedamarshal;
  but,byanunluckyordinanceoffate,hewasmadeatailor,anddieda——nevermindwhatforthepresent;sufficeittosay,thathewassuddenlycutoff,ataveryearlyperiodofhisexistence,byadiseasewhichhasexercisedconsiderableravagesamongtheBritishyouth。
  Byconsultingtheauthorityabovementioned,wefindthatHayesdidnotconfinehimselftotheprofessionofacarpenter,orremainlongestablishedinthecountry;butwasinduced,bytheeagerspiritofMrs。Catherinemostprobably,totryhisfortuneinthemetropolis;
  wherehelived,flourished,anddied。OxfordRoad,SaintGiles’s,andTottenhamCourtwere,atvariousperiodsofhisresidenceintown,inhabitedbyhim。Atoneplacehecarriedonthebusinessofgreengrocerandsmall—coalman;inanother,hewascarpenter,undertaker,andlenderofmoneytothepoor;finally,hewasalodging—housekeeperintheOxfordorTyburnRoad;butcontinuedtoexercisethelast—namedcharitableprofession。
  Lendingashediduponpledges,andcarryingonaprettylargetrade,itwasnotforhim,ofcourse,toinquireintothepedigreeofallthepiecesofplate,thebalesofcloth,swords,watches,wigs,shoe—buckles,etc。thatwereconfidedbyhisfriendstohiskeeping;butitisclearthathisfriendshadtherequisiteconfidenceinhim,andthatheenjoyedtheesteemofaclassofcharacterswhostillliveinhistory,andareadmireduntothisveryday。Themindlovestothinkthat,perhaps,inMr。Hayes’sbackparlourthegallantTurpinmighthavehob—and—nobbedwithMrs。
  Catherine;thathere,perhaps,thenobleSheppardmighthavecrackedhisjoke,orquaffedhispintofrum。WhoknowsbutthatMacheathandPaulCliffordmayhavecrossedlegsunderHayes’sdinner—table?
  Butwhypausetospeculateonthingsthatmighthavebeen?whydesertrealityforfondimagination,orcallupfromtheirhonouredgravesthesacreddead?Iknownot:andyet,insooth,IcanneverpassCumberlandGatewithoutasigh,asIthinkofthegallantcavalierswhotraversedthatroadinoldtime。Piouspriestsaccompaniedtheirtriumphs;theirchariotsweresurroundedbyhostsofglitteringjavelin—men。AstheslaveatthecaroftheRomanconquerorshouted,"Rememberthouartmortal!",beforetheeyesoftheBritishwarriorrodetheundertakerandhiscoffin,tellinghimthathetoomustdie!Markwellthespot!AhundredyearsagoAlbionStreet(wherecomicPowerdwelt,Milesia’sdarlingson)—
  —AlbionStreetwasadesert。ThesquareofConnaughtwaswithoutitspenultimate,and,strictlyspeaking,NAUGHT。TheEdgwareRoadwasthenaroad,’tistrue;withtinklingwaggonspassingnowandthen,andfragrantwallsofsnowyhawthornblossoms。TheploughmanwhistledoverNutfordPlace;downthegreensolitudesofSovereignStreetthemerrymilkmaidledthelowingkine。Here,then,inthemidstofgreenfieldsandsweetair——beforeeveromnibuseswere,andwhenPineappleTurnpikeandTerracewerealikeunknown——herestoodTyburn:andontheroadtowardsit,perhapstoenjoytheprospect,stood,intheyear1725,thehabitationofMr。JohnHayes。
  Onefinemorningintheyear1725,Mrs。Hayes,whohadbeenabroadinherbesthatandriding—hood;Mr。Hayes,whoforawonderhadaccompaniedher;andMrs。Springatt,alodger,whoforaremunerationhadthehonourofsharingMrs。Hayes’sfriendshipandtable:allreturned,smilingandrosy,atabouthalf—pastteno’clock,fromawalkwhichtheyhadtakentoBayswater。ManythousandsofpeoplewerelikewiseseenflockingdowntheOxfordRoad;andyouwouldratherhavethought,fromthesmartnessoftheirappearanceandthepleasuredepictedintheircountenances,thattheywerejustissuingfromasermon,thanquittingtheceremonywhichtheyhadbeentoattend。
  Thefactis,thattheyhadjustbeentoseeagentlemanhanged,——acheappleasure,whichtheHayesfamilyneverdeniedthemselves;andtheyreturnedhomewithagoodappetitetobreakfast,bracedbythewalk,andtickledintohunger,asitwere,bythespectacle。Icanrecollect,whenIwasagypatCambridge,thatthe"men"usedtohavebreakfast—partiesfortheverysamepurpose;andtheexhibitionofthemorningactedinfalliblyuponthestomach,andcausedtheyoungstudentstoeatwithmuchvoracity。
  Well,Mrs。Catherine,ahandsome,well—dressed,plump,rosywomanofthreeorfourandthirty(andwhen,mydear,isawomanhandsomerthanatthatage?),cameinquitemerrilyfromherwalk,andenteredtheback—parlour,whichlookedintoapleasantyard,orgarden,whereonthesunwasshiningverygaily;andwhere,atatablecoveredwithanicewhitecloth,laidoutwithsomesilvermugs,too,andknives,allwithdifferentcrestsandpatterns,satanoldgentlemanreadinginanoldbook。
  "Hereweareatlast,Doctor,"saidMrs。Hayes,"andhere’shisspeech。"Sheproducedthelittlehalfpennytract,whichtothisdayissoldatthegallows—footuponthedeathofeveryoffender。"I’veseenamanymenturnedoff,tobesure;butIneverdidseeonewhoboreitmorelikeamanthanhedid。"
  "Mydear,"saidthegentlemanaddressedasDoctor,"hewasascoolandasbraveassteel,andnomoremindedhangingthantooth—drawing。"
  "Itwasthedrinkthatruinedhim,"saidMrs。Cat。
  "Drink,andbadcompany。Iwarnedhim,mydear,——Iwarnedhimyearsago:anddirectlyhegotintoWild’sgang,Iknewthathehadnotayeartorun。Ah,why,mylove,willmencontinuesuchdangerouscourses,"continuedtheDoctor,withasigh,"andjeopardytheirlivesforamiserablewatchorasnuff—box,ofwhichMr。Wildtakesthree—fourthsoftheproduce?Butherecomesthebreakfast;and,egad,Iamashungryasaladoftwenty。"
  Indeed,atthismomentMrs。Hayes’sservantappearedwithasmokingdishofbaconandgreens;andMr。Hayeshimselfascendedfromthecellar(ofwhichhekeptthekey),bearingwithhimatolerablylargejugofsmall—beer。TothisrepasttheDoctor,Mrs。Springatt(theotherlodger),andMr。andMrs。Hayes,proceededwithgreatalacrity。Afifthcoverwaslaid,butnotused;thecompanyremarkingthat"TomhadverylikelyfoundsomeacquaintancesatTyburn,withwhomhemightchoosetopassthemorning。"
  TomwasMasterThomasBillings,nowoftheageofsixteen:slim,smart,fivefeetteninchesinheight,handsome,sallowincomplexion,black—eyedandblack—haired。Mr。Billingswasapprenticetoatailor,oftolerablepractice,whowastotakehimintopartnershipattheendofhisterm。Itwassupposed,andwithreason,thatTomwouldnotfailtomakeafortuneinthisbusiness;
  ofwhichthepresentheadwasoneBeinkleider,aGerman。
  Beinkleiderwasskilfulinhistrade(afterthemannerofhisnation,whichinbreechesandmetaphysics——ininexpressiblesandincomprehensibles——mayinstructallEurope),buttoofondofhispleasure。SomepromissorynotesofhishadfoundtheirwayintoHayes’shands,andhadgivenhimthemeansnotonlyofprovidingMasterBillingswithacheapapprenticeship,andacheappartnershipafterwards;butwouldempowerhim,inoneortwoyearsaftertheyoungpartnerhadjoinedthefirm,toejecttheoldonealtogether。
  Sothattherewaseveryprospectthat,whenMr。Billingswastwenty—oneyearsofage,poorBeinkleiderwouldhavetoact,notashismaster,buthisjourneyman。
  Tomwasaveryprecociousyouth;wassuppliedbyadotingmotherwithplentyofpocket—money,andspentitwithanumberoflivelycompanionsofbothsexes,atplays,bull—baitings,fairs,jollypartiesontheriver,andsuch—likeinnocentamusements。Hecouldthrowamain,too,aswellashiselders;hadpinkedhisman,inarowatMadamKing’sinthePiazza;andwasmuchrespectedattheRoundhouse。
  Mr。Hayeswasnotveryfondofthispromisingyounggentleman;
  indeed,hehadthebasenesstobearmalice,because,inaquarrelwhichoccurredabouttwoyearspreviously,he,Hayes,beingdesiroustochastiseMr。Billings,hadfoundhimselfnotonlyquiteincompetent,butactuallyatthemercyoftheboy;whostruckhimovertheheadwithajoint—stool,felledhimtotheground,andsworehewouldhavehislife。TheDoctor,whowasthenalsoalodgeratMr。Hayes’s,interposed,andrestoredthecombatants,nottofriendship,buttopeace。Hayesneverafterwardsattemptedtolifthishandtotheyoungman,butcontentedhimselfwithhatinghimprofoundly。InthissentimentMr。Billingsparticipatedcordially;and,quiteunlikeMr。Hayes,whoneverdaredtoshowhisdislike,usedoneveryoccasionwhentheymet,byactions,looks,words,sneers,andcurses,tolethisstepfatherknowtheopinionwhichhehadofhim。WhydidnotHayesdiscardtheboyaltogether?
  Because,ifhedidso,hewasreallyafraidofhislife,andbecausehetrembledbeforeMrs。Hayes,hislady,astheleaftremblesbeforethetempestinOctober。Hisbreathwasnothisown,buthers;hismoney,too,hadbeenchieflyofhergetting,——forthoughhewasasstingyandmeanasmortalmancanbe,andsolikelytosavemuch,hehadnotthegeniusforGETTINGwhichMrs。Hayespossessed。Shekepthisbooks(forshehadlearnedtoreadandwritebythistime),shemadehisbargains,andshedirectedtheoperationsofthepoor—spiritedlittlecapitalist。Whenbillsbecamedue,anddebtorspressedfortime,thenshebroughtHayes’sownprofessionalmeritsintoplay。Themanwasasdeafandcoldasarock;neverdidpoortradesmengainapennyfromhim;neverwerethebailiffsdelayedonesingleminutefromtheirprey。TheBeinkleiderbusiness,forinstance,showedprettywellthegeniusofthetwo。Hayeswasforclosingwithhimatonce;buthiswifesawthevastprofitswhichmightbedrawnoutofhim,andarrangedtheapprenticeshipandthepartnershipbeforealludedto。Thewomanheartilyscornedandspituponherhusband,whofawneduponherlikeaspaniel。Shelovedgoodcheer;shedidnotwantforacertainkindofgenerosity。TheonlyfeelingthatHayeshadforanyoneexcepthimselfwasforhiswife,whomheheldinacowardlyaweandattachment:helikeddrink,too,whichmadehimchirpingandmerry,andacceptedwillinglyanytreatsthathisacquaintancesmightofferhim;buthewouldsufferagonieswhenhiswifebroughtororderedfromthecellarabottleofwine。
  AndnowfortheDoctor。Hewasaboutseventyyearsofage。Hehadbeenmuchabroad;hewasofasober,cheerfulaspect;hedressedhandsomelyandquietlyinabroadhatandcassock;butsawnocompanyexceptthefewfriendswhomhemetatthecoffee—house。Hehadanincomeofaboutonehundredpounds,whichhepromisedtoleavetoyoungBillings。Hewasamusedwiththelad,andfondofhismother,andhadboardedwiththemforsomeyearspast。TheDoctor,infact,wasouroldfriendCorporalBrock,theReverendDoctorWoodnow,ashehadbeenMajorWoodfifteenyearsback。
  AnyonewhohasreadtheformerpartofthishistorymusthaveseenthatwehavespokenthroughoutwithinvariablerespectofMr。Brock;
  andthatineverycircumstanceinwhichhehasappeared,hehasactednotonlywithprudence,butoftenwithgenius。TheearlyobstacletoMr。Brock’ssuccesswaswantofconductsimply。Drink,women,play——howmanyabravefellowhavetheyruined!——hadpulledBrockdownasoftenashismerithadcarriedhimup。Whenaman’spassionforplayhasbroughthimtobeascoundrel,itatonceceasestobehurtfultohiminaworldlypointofview;hecheats,andwins。Itisonlyfortheidleandluxuriousthatwomenretaintheirfascinationstoaverylateperiod;andBrock’spassionshadbeenwhippedoutofhiminVirginia;wheremuchill—health,ill—treatment,hardlabour,andhardfood,speedilyputanendtothem。Heforgotthereevenhowtodrink;rumorwinemadethispoordeclininggentlemansoillthathecouldindulgeinthemnolonger;
  andsohisthreeviceswerecured。
  Hadhebeenambitious,thereislittledoubtbutthatMr。Brock,onhisreturnfromtransportation,mighthaverisenintheworld;buthewasoldandaphilosopher:hedidnotcareaboutrising。Livingwascheaperinthosedays,andinterestformoneyhigher:whenhehadamassedaboutsixhundredpounds,hepurchasedanannuityofseventy—twopounds,andgaveout——whyshouldhenot?——thathehadthecapitalaswellastheinterest。AfterleavingtheHayesfamilyinthecountry,hefoundthemagaininLondon:hetookuphisabodewiththem,andwasattachedtothemotherandtheson。Doyousupposethatrascalshavenotaffectionslikeotherpeople?hearts,madam——ay,hearts——andfamilytieswhichtheycherish?AstheDoctorlivedonwiththischarmingfamilyhebegantoregretthathehadsunkallhismoneyinannuities,andcouldnot,asherepeatedlyvowedhewould,leavehissavingstohisadoptedchildren。
  Hefeltanindescribablepleasure("suavemarimagno,"etc。)inwatchingthestormsandtempestsoftheHayesmenage。HeusedtoencourageMrs。Catherineintoangerwhen,haply,thatlady’sfitsofcalmwouldlasttoolong;heusedtowarmupthedisputesbetweenwifeandhusband,motherandson,andenjoythembeyondexpression:
  theyservedhimfordailyamusement;andheusedtolaughuntilthetearsrandownhisvenerablecheeksattheaccountswhichyoungTomcontinuallybroughthimofhispranksabroad,amongwatchmenandconstables,attavernsorelsewhere。
  When,therefore,asthepartywerediscussingtheirbaconandcabbage,beforewhichtheReverendDoctorwithmuchgravitysaidgrace,MasterTomentered。DoctorWood,whohadbeforebeenrathergloomy,immediatelybrightenedup,andmadeaplaceforBillingsbetweenhimselfandMrs。Catherine。
  "Howdo,oldcock?"saidthatyounggentlemanfamiliarly。"Howgoesit,mother?"Andsosaying,heseizedeagerlyuponthejugofbeerwhichMr。Hayeshaddrawn,andfromwhichthelatterwasabouttohelphimself,andpoureddownhisthroatexactlyonequart。
  "Ah!"saidMr。Billings,drawingbreathafteradraughtwhichhehadlearnedaccuratelytogaugefromthehabitofdrinkingoutofpewtermeasureswhichheldpreciselythatquantity。——"Ah!"saidMr。
  Billings,drawingbreath,andwipinghismouthwithhissleeves,"thisisverythinstuff,oldSquaretoes;butmycoppershavebeenred—hotsincelastnight,andtheywantedasluicing。"
  "Shouldyoulikesomeale,dear?"saidMrs。Hayes,thatfondandjudiciousparent。
  "Aquartofbrandy,Tom?"saidDoctorWood。"Yourpapawillrundowntothecellarforitinaminute。"
  "I’llseehimhangedfirst!"criedMr。Hayes,quitefrightened。
  "Oh,fie,now,youunnaturalfather!"saidtheDoctor。
  TheverynameoffatherusedtoputMr。Hayesinafury。"I’mnothisfather,thankHeaven!"saidhe。
  "No,nornobodyelse’s,"saidTom。
  Mr。Hayesonlymuttered"Base—bornbrat!"
  "Hisfatherwasagentleman,——that’smorethanyoueverwere!"
  screamedMrs。Hayes。"Hisfatherwasamanofspirit;nocowardlysneakofacarpenter,MrHayes!Tomhasnoblebloodinhisveins,forallhehasatailor’sappearance;andifhismotherhadhadherright,shewouldbenowinacoach—and—six。"
  "IwishIcouldfindmyfather,"saidTom;"forIthinkPollyBriggsandIwouldlookmightywellinacoach—and—six。"Tomfanciedthatifhisfatherwasacountatthetimeofhisbirth,hemustbeaprincenow;and,indeed,wentamonghiscompanionsbythelatteraugusttitle。
  "Ay,Tom,thatyouwould,"criedhismother,lookingathimfondly。
  "Withaswordbymyside,andahatandfeatherthere’sneveralordatSt。James’swouldcutafinerfigure。"
  Afteralittlemoreofthistalk,inwhichMrs。Hayesletthecompanyknowherhighopinionofherson——who,asusual,tookcaretoshowhisextremecontemptforhisstepfather——thelatterretiredtohisoccupations;thelodger,Mrs。Springatt,whohadneversaidawordallthistime,retiredtoherapartmentonthesecondfloor;
  and,pullingouttheirpipesandtobacco,theoldgentlemanandtheyoungonesolacedthemselveswithhalf—an—hour’smoretalkandsmoking;whilethethriftyMrs。Hayes,oppositetothem,wasbusywithherbooks。
  "What’sintheconfessions?"saidMr。BillingstoDoctorWood。
  "Thereweresixof’embesidesMac:twoforsheep,fourhousebreakers;butnothingofconsequence,Ifancy。"
  "There’sthepaper,"saidWood,archly。"Readforyourself,Tom。"
  Mr。Tomlookedatthesametimeveryfierceandveryfoolish;for,thoughhecoulddrink,swear,andfightaswellasanyladofhisinchesinEngland,readingwasnotamonghisaccomplishments。"I
  tellyouwhat,Doctor,"saidhe,"————you!havenobanteringwithme,——forI’mnotthemanthatwillbearit,——me!"andhethrewatremendousswaggeringlookacrossthetable。
  "Iwantyoutolearntoread,Tommydear。Lookatyourmotherthereoverherbooks:shekeepsthemasneatasascrivenernow,andattwentyshecouldmakeneverastroke。"
  "Yourgodfatherspeaksforyourgood,child;andforme,thouknowestthatIhavepromisedtheeagold—headedcaneandperiwigonthefirstdaythatthoucanstreadmeacolumnoftheFlyingPost。"
  "Hangtheperiwig!"saidMr。Tom,testily。"Letmygodfatherreadthepaperhimself,ifhehasalikingforit。"
  Whereupontheoldgentlemanputonhisspectacles,andglancedoverthesheetofwhity—brownpaper,which,ornamentedwithapictureofagallowsatthetop,containedthebiographiesofthesevenunluckyindividualswhohadthatmorningsufferedthepenaltyofthelaw。
  Withthesixheroeswhocamefirstinthelistwehavenothingtodo;buthavebeforeusacopyofthepapercontainingthelifeofNo。7,andwhichtheDoctorreadinanaudiblevoice。
  "CAPTAINMACSHANE。
  "Theseventhvictimtohisowncrimeswasthefamoushighwayman,CaptainMacshane,sowellknownastheIrishFire—eater。
  "TheCaptaincametothegroundinafinewhitelawnshirtandnightcap;and,beingaPapistinhisreligion,wasattendedbyFatherO’Flaherty,Popishpriest,andchaplaintotheBavarianEnvoy。
  "CaptainMacshanewasbornofrespectableparents,inthetownofClonakilty,inIreland,beingdescendedfrommostofthekingsinthatcountry。HehadthehonourofservingtheirMajestiesKingWilliamandQueenMary,andHerMajestyQueenAnne,inFlandersandSpain,andobtainedmuchcreditfrommyLordsMarlboroughandPeterboroughforhisvalour。
  "Butbeingplacedonhalf—payattheendofthewar,EnsignMacshanetooktoevilcourses;and,frequentingthebagniosanddice—houses,wasspeedilybroughttoruin。
  "Beingatthispass,hefellinwiththenotoriousCaptainWood,andtheytwotogethercommittedmanyatrociousrobberiesintheinlandcounties;butthesebeingtoohottoholdthem,theywentintothewest,wheretheywereunknown。Here,however,thedayofretributionarrived;for,havingstolenthreepewter—potsfromapublic—house,they,underfalsenames,weretriedatExeter,andtransportedforsevenyearsbeyondthesea。ThusitisseenthatJusticeneversleeps;but,soonerorlatter,issuretoovertakethecriminal。
  "OntheirreturnfromVirginia,aquarrelaboutbootyarosebetweenthesetwo,andMacshanekilledWoodinacombatthattookplacebetweenthemneartothetownofBristol;butawaggoncomingup,Macshanewasobligedtoflywithouttheill—gottenwealth:sotrueisit,thatwickednessneverprospers。
  "Twodaysafterwards,MacshanemetthecoachofMissMacraw,aScotchladyandheiress,going,forlumbagoandgout,totheBath。
  Heatfirstwouldhaverobbedthislady;butsuchwerehisarts,thatheinducedhertomarryhim;andtheylivedtogetherforsevenyearsinthetownofEddenboro,inScotland,——hepassingunderthenameofColonelGeraldine。Theladydying,andMacshanehavingexpendedallherwealth,hewasobligedtoresumehisformerevilcourses,inordertosavehimselffromstarvation;whereuponherobbedaScotchlord,bynametheLordofWhistlebinkie,ofamullofsnuff;forwhichcrimehewascondemnedtotheTolboothprisonatEddenboro,inScotland,andwhippedmanytimesinpublick。