"’But，’Isaid，’youseemed——Ireallycouldnothelpnoticing，itwassopronounced——youseemedtopositivelydislikeher。Indeed，I
　　gatheredfromyourremarktoafriendthathersocietywasdistinctlydistastefultoyou。’
　　"’ToSmith，’hecorrectedme。’Whatjudgewouldthathowlinglittleblackguardbeofawoman’sworth！Thedislikeofsuchamanasthatisatestimonialtohermerit！’
　　"’Imaybemistaken，’Isaid；’butshestruckmeasabitcommon。’
　　"’Sheisnot，perhaps，whattheworldwouldcallalady，’headmitted；’butthen，mydearMac，myopinionoftheworldisnotsuchastorenderITSopinionofmuchvaluetome。Iandtheworlddifferonmostsubjects，Iamgladtosay。Sheisbeautiful，andsheisgood，andsheismychoice。’
　　"’She’sajollyenoughlittlegirl，’Ireplied，’and，Ishouldsay，affectionate；buthaveyouconsidered，Smythe，whethersheisquite—
　　—whatshallwesay——quiteasintellectualascouldbedesired？’
　　"’Really，totellthetruth，Ihavenottroubledmyselfmuchaboutherintellect，’hereplied，withoneofhissneeringsmiles。’I
　　havenodoubtthattheamountofintellectabsolutelynecessarytotheformationofaBritishhome，Ishallbeabletosupplymyself。
　　Ihavenodesireforanintellectualwife。Oneiscompelledtomeettiresomepeople，butonedoesnotlivewiththemifonecanavoidit。’
　　"’No，’hecontinued，revertingtohismorenaturaltone；’themoreI
　　thinkofElizabeththemoreclearitbecomestomethatsheistheonewomanintheworldforwhommarriagewithmeispossible。I
　　perceivethattothesuperficialobservermyselectionmustappearextraordinary。Idonotpretendtoexplainit，oreventounderstandit。Thestudyofmankindisbeyondman。Onlyfoolsattemptit。Maybeitishercontrasttomyselfthatattractsme。
　　Maybemy，perhaps，toospiritualnaturefeelstheneedofcontactwithhercoarserclaytoperfectitself。Icannottell。Thesethingsmustalwaysremainmysteries。IonlyknowthatIloveher——
　　that，ifanyrelianceistobeplaceduponinstinct，sheisthematetowhomArtemisisleadingme。’
　　"Itwasclearthathewasinlove，andIthereforeceasedtoarguewithhim。’Youkeptupyouracquaintanceshipwithher，then，afteryou’——Iwasgoingtosay’afteryouceasedtobeSmith，’butnotwishingtoagitatehimbymorementionofthatpersonthanIcouldhelp，Isubstituted，’afteryoureturnedtotheAlbany？’
　　"’Notexactly，’hereplied；’IlostsightofherafterIleftYarmouth，andIdidnotseeheragainuntilfivedaysago，whenI
　　cameacrossherinanaeratedbreadshop。Ihadgoneintogetaglassofmilkandabun，andSHEbroughtthemtome。Irecognisedherinamoment。’Hisfacelightedupwithquiteahumansmile。’I
　　taketeathereeveryafternoonnow，’headded，glancingtowardstheclock，’atfour。’
　　"’There’snotmuchneedtoaskHERviewsonthesubject，’Isaid，laughing；’herfeelingstowardsyouwereprettyevident。’
　　"’Well，thatisthecuriouspartofit，’hereplied，withareturntohisformerembarrassment；’shedoesnotseemtocareformenowatall。Indeed，shepositivelyrefusesme。Shesays——toputitinthedearchild’sownracylanguage——thatshewouldn’ttakemeonatanyprice。Shesaysitwouldbelikemarryingaclockworkfigurewithoutthekey。She’smorefrankthancomplimentary，butIlikethat。’
　　"’Waitaminute，’Isaid；’anideaoccurstome。DoessheknowofyouridentitywithSmith？’
　　"’No，’hereplied，alarmed，’Iwouldnothaveherknowitforworlds。OnlyyesterdayshetoldmethatIremindedherofafellowshehadmetatYarmouth，andmyheartwasinmymouth。’
　　"’Howdidshelookwhenshetoldyouthat？’Iasked。
　　"’Howdidshelook？’herepeated，notunderstandingme。
　　"’Whatwasherexpressionatthatmoment？’Isaid——’wasitsevereortender？’
　　"’Well，’hereplied，’nowIcometothinkofit，shedidseemtosoftenabitjustthen。’
　　"’Mydearboy，’Isaid，’thecaseisasclearasday—light。ShelovesSmith。NogirlwhoadmiredSmithcouldbeattractedbySmythe。Asyourpresentselfyouwillneverwinher。Inafewweeks’time，however，youwillbeSmith。Leavethematteroveruntilthen。ProposetoherasSmith，andshewillacceptyou。
　　AftermarriageyoucanbreakSmythegentlytoher。’
　　"’ByJove！’heexclaimed，startledoutofhiscustomarylethargy，’I
　　neverthoughtofthat。Thetruthis，whenIaminmyrightsenses，Smithandallhisaffairsseemlikeadreamtome。Anyideaconnectedwithhimwouldneverentermymind。’
　　"Heroseandheldouthishand。’IamsogladIcametoseeyou，’
　　hesaid；’yoursuggestionhasalmostreconciledmetomymiserablefate。Indeed，IquitelookforwardtoamonthofSmith，now。’
　　"’I’msopleased，’Ianswered，shakinghandswithhim。’Mindyoucomeandtellmehowyougeton。Anotherman’sloveaffairsarenotusuallyabsorbing，butthereisanelementofinterestaboutyoursthatrendersthecaseexceptional。’
　　"Weparted，andIdidnotseehimagainforanothermonth。Then，lateoneevening，theservantknockedatmydoortosaythataMr。
　　Smithwishedtoseeme。
　　"’Smith，Smith，’Irepeated；’whatSmith？didn’thegiveyouacard？’
　　"’No，sir，’answeredthegirl；’hedoesn’tlookthesortthatwouldhaveacard。He’snotagentleman，sir；buthesaysyou’llknowhim。’Sheevidentlyregardedthestatementasanaspersionuponmyself。
　　"IwasabouttotellhertosayIwasout，whentherecollectionofSmythe’sotherselfflashedintomymind，andIdirectedhertosendhimup。
　　"Aminutepassed，andthenheentered。Hewaswearinganewsuitofalouderpattern，ifpossible，thanbefore。Ithinkhemusthavedesignedithimself。Helookedhotandgreasy。Hedidnotoffertoshakehands，butsatdownawkwardlyontheextremeedgeofasmallchair，andgapedabouttheroomasifhehadneverseenitbefore。
　　"Hecommunicatedhisshynesstomyself。Icouldnotthinkwhattosay，andwesatforawhileinpainfulsilence。
　　"’Well，’Isaid，atlast，plunginghead—foremostintothematter，accordingtothemethodofshypeople，’andhow’s’Liza？’
　　"’Oh，SHE’Sallright，’hereplied，keepinghiseyesfixedonhishat。
　　"’Haveyoudoneit？’Icontinued。
　　"’Donewot？’heasked，lookingup。
　　"’Marriedher。’
　　"’No，’heanswered，returningtothecontemplationofhishat。
　　"’Hassherefusedyouthen？’Isaid。
　　"’Iain’tarst’er，’hereturned。
　　Heseemedunwillingtoexplainmattersofhisownaccord。Ihadtoputtheconversationintotheformofacross—examination。
　　"’Whynot？’Iasked；’don’tyouthinkshecaresforyouanylonger？’
　　Heburstintoaharshlaugh。’Thereain’tmuchfearo’that，’hesaid；’it’slike’avinganAlcock’sporousplastermashedonyer，blowedifitain’t。There’snogettin’ridof’er。Iwishshe’dgiv’somebodyelseaturn。I’mfairsickof’er。’
　　"’Butyouwereenthusiasticaboutheramonthago！’Iexclaimedinastonishment。
　　"’Smythemay’avebeen，’hesaid；’thereain’tnoaccountingforthatninny，’is’ead’sfullofstarch。Anyhow，Idon’ttake’eronwhileI’mmyself。I’mtoojollyfly。’
　　"’Thatsorto’gal’sallrightenoughtolarkwith，’hecontinued；
　　’butyerdon’twanttomarry’em。Theydon’tdoyernogood。Amanwantsawifeas’ecanrespect——someoneasisacutabove’imself，aswillraise’imupapegortwo——someoneas’ecanlookuptoandworship。Aman’swifeorterbeto’imagawddess——ahangel，a——’
　　"’Youappeartohavemetthelady，’Iremarked，interruptinghim。
　　"Heblushedscarlet，andbecamesuddenlyabsorbedinthepatternofthecarpet。Butthenextmomenthelookedupagain，andhisfaceseemedliterallytransformed。
　　"’Oh！Mr。MacShaughnassy，’heburstout，witharingofgenuinemanlinessinhisvoice，’youdon’tknow’owgood，’owbeautifulsheis。Iain’tfittobreathe’ernameinmythoughts。An’she’ssoclever。Imet’eratthatToynbee’All。Therewasapartyoftoffstherealltogether。Youwould’aveenjoyedit，Mr。MacShaughnassy，ifyoucould’ave’eard’er；shewasmakin’funofthepicturesandthepeopleroundaboutto’erpa——suchwit，suchlearnin’，such’aughtiness。Ifolleredthemoutandopenedthecarriagedoorfor’er，andshejustdrew’erskirtasideandlookedatmeasifIwasthedirtintheroad。IwishIwas，forthenperhapsonedayI’dkiss’erfeet。’
　　"HisemotionwassogenuinethatIdidnotfeelinclinedtolaughathim。’Didyoufindoutwhoshewas？’Iasked。
　　"’Yes，’heanswered；’I’eardtheoldgentlemansay"’Ome"tothecoachman，andIranafterthecarriageallthewayto’ArleyStreet。
　　Trevior’s’ername，HedithTrevior。’
　　"’MissTrevior！’Icried，’atall，darkgirl，withuntidyhairandratherweakeyes？’
　　"’Tallanddark，’hereplied’with’airthatseemstryin’toreach’erlipstokiss’em，andheyes，lightblue，likeaCambridgenecktie。A’undredandseventy—threewasthenumber。’
　　"’That’sright，’Isaid；’mydearSmith，thisisbecomingcomplicated。You’vemettheladyandtalkedtoherforhalfanhour——asSmythe，don’tyouremember？’
　　"’No，’hesaid，aftercogitatingforaminute，’carn’tsayIdo；I
　　nevercanremembermuchaboutSmythe。Heallersseemstomelikeabaddream。’
　　"’Well，youmether，’Isaid；’I’mpositive。Iintroducedyoutohermyself，andsheconfidedtomeafterwardsthatshethoughtyouamostcharmingman。’
　　"’No——didshe？’heremarked，evidentlysofteninginhisfeelingstowardsSmythe；’anddidIlike’ER？’
　　"’Well，totellthetruth，’Ianswered，’Idon’tthinkyoudid。Youlookedintenselybored。’
　　"’TheJuggins，’Iheardhimmuttertohimself，andthenhesaidaloud：’D’yerthinkIshallgetachanceo’seein’’eragen，whenI’m——whenI’mSmythe？’
　　"’Ofcourse，’Isaid，’I’lltakeyouroundmyself。Bythebye，’I
　　added，jumpingupandlookingonthemantelpiece，’I’vegotacardforaCinderellaattheirplace——somethingtodowithabirthday。
　　WillyoubeSmytheonNovemberthetwentieth？’
　　"’Ye——as，’hereplied；’oh，yas——boundtobebythen。’
　　"’Verywell，then，’Isaid，’I’llcallroundforyouattheAlbany，andwe’llgotogether。’
　　"Heroseandstoodsmoothinghishatwithhissleeve。’FusttimeI’veeverlookedfor’ardtobein’thathanimatedcorpse，Smythe，’hesaidslowly。’BlowedifIdon’ttryto’urryitup——’ponmysiveyI
　　will。’
　　"’He’llbenogoodtoyoutillthetwentieth，’Iremindedhim。
　　’And，’Iadded，asIstooduptoringthebell，’you’resureit’sagenuinecasethistime。Youwon’tbegoingbackto’Liza？’
　　"’Oh，don’ttalk’bout’LizainthesamebreathwithHedith，’hereplied，’itsoundslikesacrilege。’
　　"Hestoodhesitatingwiththehandleofthedoorinhishand。Atlast，openingitandlookingveryhardathishat，hesaid，’I’mgoin’to’ArleyStreetnow。Iwalkupanddownoutsidethe’ouseeveryevening，andsometimes，whenthereain’tnoonelookin’，Igetachancetokissthedoorstep。’
　　"Hedisappeared，andIreturnedtomychair。
　　"OnNovembertwentieth，Icalledforhimaccordingtopromise。I
　　foundhimonthepointofstartingfortheclub：hehadforgottenallaboutourappointment。Iremindedhimofit，andhewithdifficultyrecalledit，andconsented，withoutanyenthusiasm，toaccompanyme。Byafewartfulhintstohermother（includingacasualmentionofhisincome），ImanoeuvredmatterssothathehadEdithalmostentirelytohimselfforthewholeevening。IwasproudofwhatIhaddone，andaswewerewalkinghometogetherIwaitedtoreceivehisgratitude。
　　"Asitseemedslowincoming，Ihintedmyexpectations。
　　"’Well，’Isaid，’IthinkImanagedthatverycleverlyforyou。’
　　"’Managedwhatverycleverly？’saidhe。
　　"’Why，gettingyouandMissTreviorlefttogetherforsuchalongtimeintheconservatory，’Ianswered，somewhathurt；’Ifixedthatforyou。’
　　"’Oh，itwasYOU，wasit，’hereplied；’I’vebeencursingProvidence。’
　　"Istoppeddeadinthemiddleofthepavement，andfacedhim。
　　’Don’tyouloveher？’Isaid。
　　"’Loveher！’herepeated，intheutmostastonishment；’whatonearthisthereinhertolove？She’snothingbutabadtranslationofamodernFrenchcomedy，withtheinterestomitted。’
　　"This’tired’me——touseanAmericanism。’Youcametomeamonthago，’Isaid，’ravingoverher，andtalkingaboutbeingthedirtunderherfeetandkissingherdoorstep。’
　　"Heturnedveryred。’Iwish，mydearMac，’hesaid，’youwouldpaymethecomplimentofnotmistakingmeforthatdetestablelittlecadwithwhomIhavethemisfortunetobeconnected。Youwouldgreatlyobligemeifnexttimeheattemptstoinflictuponyouhisvulgardrivelyouwouldkindlykickhimdownstairs。’
　　"’Nodoubt，’headded，withasneer，aswewalkedon，’MissTreviorwouldbehisideal。Sheisexactlythetypeofwoman，Ishouldsay，tocharmthattypeofman。Formyself，Idonotappreciatetheartisticandliteraryfemale。’
　　"’Besides，’hecontinued，inadeepertone，’youknowmyfeelings。
　　IshallnevercareforanyotherwomanbutElizabeth。’
　　"’Andshe？’Isaid"’She，’hesighed，’isbreakingherheartforSmith。’
　　"’Whydon’tyoutellheryouareSmith？’Iasked。
　　"’Icannot，’hereplied，’noteventowinher。Besides，shewouldnotbelieveme。’
　　"Wesaidgood—nightatthecornerofBondStreet，andIdidnotseehimagaintilloneafternoonlateinthefollowingMarch，whenIranagainsthiminLudgateCircus。Hewaswearinghistransitionbluesuitandbowlerhat。Iwentuptohimandtookhisarm。
　　"’Whichareyou？’Isaid。
　　"’Neither，forthemoment，’hereplied，’thankGod。HalfanhouragoIwasSmythe，halfanhourhenceIshallbeSmith。Forthepresenthalf—hourIamaman。’
　　"Therewasapleasant，heartyringinhisvoice，andagenial，kindlylightinhiseyes，andheheldhimselflikeafrankgentleman。
　　"’Youarecertainlyanimprovementuponbothofthem，’Isaid。
　　"Helaughedasunnylaugh，withjusttheshadowofsadnessdashedacrossit。’DoyouknowmyideaofHeaven？’hesaid。
　　"’No，’Ireplied，somewhatsurprisedatthequestion。
　　"’LudgateCircus，’wastheanswer。’Theonlyreallysatisfyingmomentsofmylife，’hesaid，’havebeenpassedintheneighbourhoodofLudgateCircus。IleavePiccadillyanunhealthy，unwholesomeprig。AtCharingCrossIbegintofeelmybloodstirinmyveins。
　　FromLudgateCircustoCheapsideIamahumanthingwithhumanfeelingthrobbinginmyheart，andhumanthoughtthrobbinginmybrain——withfancies，sympathies，andhopes。AttheBankmymindbecomesablank。AsIwalkon，mysensesgrowcoarseandblunted；
　　andbythetimeIreachWhitechapelIamapoorlittleuncivilisedcad。Onthereturnjourneyitisthesamethingreversed。’
　　"’WhynotliveinLudgateCircus，’Isaid，’andbealwaysasyouarenow？’
　　"’Because，’heanswered，’manisapendulum，andmusttravelhisarc。’
　　"’MydearMac，’saidhe，layinghishanduponmyshoulder，’thereisonlyonegoodthingaboutme，andthatisamoral。ManisasGodmadehim：don’tbesosurethatyoucantakehimtopiecesandimprovehim。AllmylifeIhavesoughttomakemyselfanunnaturallysuperiorperson。Naturehasretaliatedbymakingmealsoanunnaturallyinferiorperson。Natureabhorslopsidedness。
　　Sheturnsoutmanasawhole，tobedevelopedasawhole。Ialwayswonder，wheneverIcomeacrossasupernaturallypious，asupernaturallymoral，asupernaturallyculturedperson，iftheyalsohaveareverseself。’
　　"Iwasshockedathissuggestedargument，andwalkedbyhissideforawhilewithoutspeaking。Atlast，feelingcuriousonthesubject，Iaskedhimhowhisvariousloveaffairswereprogressing。
　　"’Oh，asusual，’hereplied；’inandoutofaculdesac。WhenIamSmytheIloveEliza，andElizaloathesme。WhenIamSmithIloveEdith，andthemeresightofmemakeshershudder。Itisasunfortunateforthemasforme。Iamnotsayingitboastfully。
　　Heavenknowsitisanaddeddraughtofmiseryinmycup；butitisafactthatElizaisliterallypiningawayformeasSmith，and——asSmithIfinditimpossibletobeevenciviltoher；whileEdith，poorgirl，hasbeenfoolishenoughtosetherheartonmeasSmythe，andasSmythesheseemstomebuttheskinofawomanstuffedwiththehusksoflearning，andragstornfromthecorpseofwit。’
　　"Iremainedabsorbedinmyownthoughtsforsometime，anddidnotcomeoutofthemtillwewerecrossingtheMinories。Then，theideasuddenlyoccurringtome，Isaid：
　　"’Whydon’tyougetanewgirlaltogether？TheremustbemediumgirlsthatbothSmithandSmythecouldlike，andthatwouldputupwithbothofyou。’
　　"’Nomoregirlsforthischild，’heanswered’they’remoretroublethanthey’reworth。Thoseyerwantyercarn’tget，andthoseyercan’ave，yerdon’twant。’
　　"Istarted，andlookedupathim。Hewasslouchingalongwithhishandsinhispockets，andavacuouslookinhisface。
　　"Asuddenrepulsionseizedme。’Imustgonow，’Isaid，stopping。
　　’I’dnoideaIhadcomesofar。’
　　"HeseemedasgladtoberidofmeasItoberidofhim。’Oh，mustyer，’hesaid，holdingouthishand。’Well，solong。’
　　"Weshookhandscarelessly。Hedisappearedinthecrowd，andthatisthelastIhaveeverseenofhim。"
　　"Isthatatruestory？"askedJephson。
　　"Well，I’vealteredthenamesanddates，"saidMacShaughnassy；"butthemainfactsyoucanrelyupon。"
　　CHAPTERX
　　Thefinalquestiondiscussedatourlastmeetingbeen：Whatshallourherobe？MacShaughnassyhadsuggestedanauthor，withacriticforthevillain。Myideawasastockbroker，withanundercurrentofromanceinhisnature。SaidJephson，whohasapracticalmind：
　　"Thequestionisnotwhatwelike，butwhatthefemalenovel—readerlikes。"
　　"Thatisso，"agreedMacShaughnassy。"Iproposethatwecollectfeminineopinionuponthispoint。Iwillwritetomyauntandobtainfromhertheoldlady’sview。You，"hesaid，turningtome，"canputthecasetoyourwife，andgettheyounglady’sideal。LetBrownwritetohissisteratNewnham，andfindoutwhomtheintellectualmaidenfavours，whileJephsoncanlearnfromMissMedburywhatismostattractivetothecommon—sensedgirl。"
　　Thisplanwehadadopted，andtheresultwasnowunderconsideration。MacShaughnassyopenedtheproceedingsbyreadinghisaunt’sletter。Wrotetheoldlady：
　　"Ithink，ifIwereyou，mydearboy，Ishouldchooseasoldier。
　　Youknowyourpoorgrandfather，whoranawaytoAmericawiththatWICKEDMrs。Featherly，thebanker’swife，wasasoldier，andsowasyourpoorcousinRobert，wholosteightthousandpoundsatMonteCarlo。Ihavealwaysfeltsingularlydrawntowardssoldiers，evenasagirl；thoughyourpoordearunclecouldnotbearthem。YouwillfindmanyallusionstosoldiersandmenofwarintheOldTestament（seeJer。xlviii。14）。Ofcourseonedoesnotliketothinkoftheirfightingandkillingeachother，butthentheydonotseemtodothatsortofthingnowadays。"
　　"Somuchfortheoldlady，"saidMacShaughnassy，ashefoldeduptheletterandreturnedittohispocket。"Whatsaysculture？"
　　Brownproducedfromhiscigar—casealetteraddressedinaboldroundhand，andreadasfollows：
　　"Whatacuriouscoincidence！AfewofuswerediscussingthisverysubjectlastnightinMillicentHightopper’srooms，andImaytellyouatoncethatourdecisionwasunanimousinfavourofsoldiers。
　　Yousee，mydearSelkirk，inhumannaturetheattractionistowardstheopposite。Toamilliner’sapprenticeapoetwouldnodoubtbesatisfying；toawomanofintelligencehewouldheanunutterablebore。Whattheintellectualwomanrequiresinmanisnotsomethingtoarguewith，butsomethingtolookat。Toanempty—headedwomanI
　　canimaginethesoldiertypeprovingvapidanduninteresting；tothewomanofmindherepresentsheridealofman——acreaturestrong，handsome，well—dressed，andnottooclever。"
　　"Thatgivesustwovotesforthearmy，"remarkedMacShaughnassy，asBrowntorehissister’sletterintwo，andthrewthepiecesintothewaste—paperbasket。"Whatsaysthecommon—sensedgirl？"
　　"Firstcatchyourcommon—sensedgirl，"mutteredJephson，alittlegrumpily，asitseemedtome。"Wheredoyouproposefindingher？"
　　"Well，"returnedMacShaughnassy，"IlookedtofindherinMissMedbury。"
　　Asarule，thementionofMissMedbury’snamebringsaflushofjoytoJephson’sface；butnowhisfeaturesworeanexpressiondistinctlyapproachingascowl。
　　"Oh！"hereplied，"didyou？Well，then，thecommon—sensedgirllovesthemilitaryalso。"
　　"ByJove！"exclaimedMacShaughnassy，"whatanextraordinarything。
　　Whatreasondoesshegive？"
　　"Thatthere’sasomethingaboutthem，andthattheydancesodivinely，"answeredJephson，shortly。
　　"Well，youdosurpriseme，"murmuredMacShaughnassy，"Iamastonished。"
　　Thentomehesaid："Andwhatdoestheyoungmarriedwomansay？
　　Thesame？"
　　"Yes，"Ireplied，"preciselythesame。"
　　"DoesSHEgiveareason？"heasked。
　　"Ohyes，"Iexplained；"becauseyoucan’thelplikingthem。"
　　Therewassilenceforthenextfewminutes，whilewesmokedandthought。Ifancywewereallwishingwehadneverstartedthisinquiry。
　　Thatfourdistinctlydifferenttypesofeducatedwomanhoodshould，withpromptnessandunanimityquiteunfeminine，haveselectedthesoldierastheirideal，wascertainlydiscouragingtothecivilianheart。Hadtheybeennursemaidsorservantgirls，Ishouldhaveexpectedit。TheworshipofMarsbytheVenusofthewhitecapisoneofthefewvitalreligionslefttothisdevoutlessage。AyearortwoagoIlodgednearabarracks，andthesighttobeseenrounditshugeirongatesonSundayafternoonsIshallneverforget。Thegirlsbegantoassembleabouttwelveo’clock。Bytwo，atwhichhourthearmy，withitshairnicelyoiledandacaneinitshand，wasreadyforastroll，therewouldbesomefourorfivehundredofthemwaitinginaline。Formerlytheyhadcollectedinawildmob，andasthesoldierswereletouttothemtwoatatime，hadfoughtforthem，aslionsforearlyChristians。This，however，hadledtoscenesofsuchdisorderandbrutality，thatthepolicehadbeenobligedtointerfere；andthegirlswerenowmarshalledinQUEUE，twoabreast，andcompelled，byaforceofconstablesspeciallytoldoffforthepurpose，tokeeptheirplacesandwaittheirproperturn。
　　Atthreeo’clockthesentryondutywouldcomedowntothewicketandcloseit。"They’reallgone，mydears，"hewouldshoutouttothegirlsstillleft；"it’snogoodyourstopping，we’venomoreforyouto—day。"
　　"Oh，notone！"somepoorchildwouldmurmurpleadingly，whilethetearswelledupintoherbigroundeyes，"notevenalittleone。
　　I’vebeenwaitingSUCHalongtime。"
　　"Can’thelpthat，"thehonestfellowwouldreply，gruffly，butnotunkindly，turningasidetohidehisemotion；"you’vehad’emallbetweenyou。Wedon’tmake’em，youknow：youcan’thave’emifwehaven’tgot’em，canyou？Comeearliernexttime。"
　　Thenhewouldhurryawaytoescapefurtherimportunity；andthepolice，whoappearedtohavebeenwaitingforthismomentwithgloatinganticipation，wouldjeeringlyhustleawaytheweepingremnant。"Nowthen，passalong，yougirls，passalong，"theywouldsay，inthatirritatinglyunsympatheticvoiceoftheirs。"You’vehadyourchance。Can’thavetheroadwayblockedupalltheafternoonwiththis’eredemonstrationoftheunloved。Passalong。"
　　Inconnectionwiththissamebarracks，ourchar—womantoldAmenda，whotoldEthelbertha，whotoldmeastory，whichInowtoldtheboys。
　　Intoacertainhouse，inacertainstreetintheneighbourhood，theremovedonedayacertainfamily。Theirservanthadleftthem——
　　mostoftheirservantsdidattheendofaweek——andthedayafterthemoving—inanadvertisementforadomesticwasdrawnupandsenttotheChronicle。Itranthus：
　　WANTED，GENERALSERVANT，insmallfamilyofeleven。Wages，6
　　pounds；nobeermoney。Mustbeearlyriserandhardworker。
　　Washingdoneathome。Mustbegoodcook，andnotobjecttowindow—
　　cleaning。Unitarianpreferred。——Apply，withreferences，toA。B。，etc。
　　ThatadvertisementwassentoffonWednesdayafternoon。Atseveno’clockonThursdaymorningthewholefamilywereawakenedbycontinuousringingofthestreet—doorbell。Thehusband，lookingoutofwindow，wassurprisedtoseeacrowdofaboutfiftygirlssurroundingthehouse。Heslippedonhisdressing—gownandwentdowntoseewhatwasthematter。Themomentheopenedthedoor，fifteenofthemchargedtumultuouslyintothepassage，sweepinghimcompletelyoffhislegs。Onceinside，thesefifteenfacedround，foughttheotherthirty—fiveorsobackontothedoor—step，andslammedthedoorintheirfaces。Thentheypickedupthemasterofthehouse，andaskedhimpolitelytoconductthemtoA。B。"
　　Atfirst，owingtotheclamourofthemoboutside，whowerehammeringatthedoorandshoutingcursesthroughthekeyhole，hecouldunderstandnothing，butatlengththeysucceededinexplainingtohimthattheyweredomesticservantscomeillanswertohiswife’sadvertisement。Themanwentandtoldhiswife，andhiswifesaidshewouldseethem，oneatatime。
　　Whichoneshouldhaveaudiencefirstwasadelicatequestiontodecide。Theman，onbeingappealedto，saidhewouldprefertoleaveittothem。Theyaccordinglydiscussedthematteramongthemselves。Attheendofaquarterofanhour，thevictor，havingborrowedsomehair—pinsandalooking—glassfromourcharwoman，whohadsleptinthehouse，wentupstairs，whiletheremainingfourteensatdowninthehall，andfannedthemselveswiththeirbonnets。
　　"A。B。"wasagooddealastonishedwhenthefirstapplicantpresentedherself。Shewasatall，genteel—lookinggirl。UptoyesterdayshehadbeenheadhousemaidatLadyStanton’s，andbeforethatshehadbeenunder—cookfortwoyearstotheDuchessofYork。
　　"AndwhydidyouleaveLadyStanton？"asked"A。B。"
　　"Tocomehere，mum，"repliedthegirl。Theladywaspuzzled。
　　"Andyou’llbesatisfiedwithsixpoundsayear？"sheasked。
　　"Certainly，mum，Ithinkitample。"
　　"Andyoudon’tmindhardwork？"
　　"Iloveit，mum。"
　　"Andyou’reanearlyriser？"
　　"Ohyes，mum，itupsetsmestoppinginbedafterhalf—pastfive。"
　　"Youknowwedothewashingathome？"
　　"Yes，mum。Ithinkitsomuchbettertodoitathome。Thoselaundriesruingoodclothes。They’resocareless。"
　　"AreyouaUnitarian？"continuedthelady。
　　"Notyet，mum，"repliedthegirl，"butIshouldliketobeone。"
　　Theladytookherreference，andsaidshewouldwrite。
　　Thenextapplicantofferedtocomeforthreepounds——thoughtsixpoundstoomuch。Sheexpressedherwillingnesstosleepinthebackkitchen：ashakedownunderthesinkwasallshewanted。ShelikewisehadyearningstowardsUnitarianism。
　　Thethirdgirldidnotrequireanywagesatall——couldnotunderstandwhatservantswantedwithwages——thoughtwagesonlyencouragedaloveoffoolishfinery——thoughtacomfortablehomeinaUnitarianfamilyoughttobesufficientwagesforanygirl。
　　Thisgirlsaidtherewasonestipulationsheshouldliketomake，andthatwasthatsheshouldbeallowedtopayforallbreakagescausedbyherowncarelessnessorneglect。Sheobjectedtoholidaysandeveningsout；sheheldthattheydistractedagirlfromherwork。
　　Thefourthcandidateofferedapremiumoffivepoundsfortheplace；
　　andthen"A。B。"begantogetfrightened，andrefusedtoseeanymoreofthegirls，convincedthattheymustbelunaticsfromsomeneighbouringasylumoutforawalk。
　　Laterintheday，meetingthenext—doorladyonthedoor—step，sherelatedhermorning’sexperiences。
　　"Oh，that’snothingextraordinary，"saidthenext—doorlady；"noneofusonthissideofthestreetpaywages；andwegetthepickofallthebestservantsinLondon。Why，girlswillcomefromtheotherendofthekingdomtogetintooneofthesehouses。It’sthedreamoftheirlives。Theysaveupforyears，soastobeabletocomeherefornothing。"
　　"What’stheattraction？"asked"A。B。，"moreamazedthanever。
　　"Why，don’tyousee，"explainedthenextdoorlady，"ourbackwindowsopenuponthebarrackyard。Agirllivinginoneofthesehousesisalwaysclosetosoldiers。Bylookingoutofwindowshecanalwaysseesoldiers；andsometimesasoldierwillnodtoherorevencalluptoher。Theyneverdreamofaskingforwages。They’llworkeighteenhoursaday，andputupwithanythingjusttobeallowedtostop。"
　　"A。B。"profitedbythisinformation，andengagedthegirlwhoofferedthefivepoundspremium。Shefoundheraperfecttreasureofaservant。Shewasinvariablywillingandrespectful，sleptonasofainthekitchen，andwasalwayscontentedwithaneggforherdinner。
　　ThetruthofthisstoryIcannotvouchfor。Myself，Icanbelieveit。BrownandMacShaughnassymadenoattempttodoso，whichseemedunfriendly。Jephsonexcusedhimselfonthepleaofaheadache。I
　　admittherearepointsinitpresentingdifficultiestotheaverageintellect。AsIexplainedatthecommencement，itwastoldtomebyEthelbertha，whohaditfromAmenda，whogotitfromthechar—woman，andexaggerationsmayhavecreptintoit。Thefollowing，however，wereincidentsthatcameundermyownpersonalobservation。TheyaffordedastillstrongerexampleoftheinfluenceexercisedbyTommyAtkinsupontheBritishdomestic，andIthereforethoughtitrighttorelatethem。
　　"Theheroineofthem，"Isaid，"isourAmenda。Now，youwouldcallheratolerablywell—behaved，orderlyyoungwoman，wouldyounot？"
　　"Sheismyidealofunostentatiousrespectability，"answeredMacShaughnassy"Thatwasmyopinionalso，"Ireplied。"Youcan，therefore，imaginemyfeelingsonpassingheroneeveningintheFolkestoneHighStreetwithaPanamahatuponherhead（MYPanamahat），andasoldier’sarmroundherwaist。ShewasoneofamobfollowingthebandoftheThirdBerkshireInfantry，thenincampatSandgate。Therewasanecstatic，far—awaylookinhereyes。Shewasdancingratherthanwalking，andwithherlefthandshebeattimetothemusic。
　　"Ethelberthawaswithmeatthetime。Westaredaftertheprocessionuntilithadturnedthecorner，andthenwestaredateachother。
　　"’Oh，it’simpossible，’saidEthelberthatome。
　　"’Butthatwasmyhat，’IsaidtoEthelbertha。
　　"ThemomentwereachedhomeEthelberthalookedforAmenda，andI
　　lookedformyhat。Neitherwastobefound。
　　"Nineo’clockstruck，teno’clockstruck。Athalf—pastten，wewentdownandgotourownsupper，andhaditinthekitchen。Ataquarter—pasteleven，Amendareturned。Shewalkedintothekitchenwithoutaword，hungmyhatupbehindthedoor，andcommencedclearingawaythesupperthings。
　　"Ethelbertharose，calmbutsevere。
　　"’Wherehaveyoubeen，Amenda？’sheinquired。
　　"’Gaddinghalfoverthecountywithalotoflowsoldiers，’answeredAmenda，continuingherwork。
　　"’Youhadonmyhat，’Iadded。
　　"’Yes，sir，’repliedAmenda，stillcontinuingherwork，’itwasthefirstthingthatcametohand。WhatI’mthankfulforisthatitwasn’tmissis’sbestbonnet。’
　　"WhetherEthelberthawasmollifiedbytheproperspiritdisplayedinthislastremark，Icannotsay，butIthinkitprobable。Atallevents，itwasinavoicemoreofsorrowthanofangerthatsheresumedherexamination。
　　"’Youwerewalkingwithasoldier’sarmaroundyourwaistwhenwepassedyou，Amenda？’sheobservedinterrogatively。
　　"’Iknow，mum，’admittedAmenda，’Ifoundittheremyselfwhenthemusicstopped。’
　　"Ethelberthalookedherinquiries。Amendafilledasaucepanwithwater，andthenrepliedtothem。
　　"’I’madisgracetoadecenthousehold，’shesaid；’nomistresswhorespectedherselfwouldkeepmeamoment。Ioughttobeputonthedoorstepwithmyboxandamonth’swages。’
　　"’Butwhydidyoudoitthen？’saidEthelbertha，withnaturalastonishment。
　　"’BecauseI’mahelplessninny，mum。Ican’thelpmyself；ifIseesoldiersI’mboundtofollowthem。Itrunsinourfamily。MypoorcousinEmmawasjustsuchanotherfool。Shewasengagedtobemarriedtoaquiet，respectableyoungfellowwithashopofhisown，andthreedaysbeforetheweddingsheranoffwitharegimentofmarinestoChathamandmarriedthecolour—sergeant。That’swhatI
　　shallendbydoing。I’vebeenallthewaytoSandgatewiththatlotyousawmewith，andI’vekissedfourofthem——thenastywretches。
　　I’manicesortofgirltobewalkingoutwitharespectablemilkman。’
　　"Shewassodeeplydisgustedwithherselfthatitseemedsuperfluousforanybodyelsetobeindignantwithher；andEthelberthachangedhertoneandtriedtocomforther。
　　"’Oh，you’llgetoverallthatnonsense，Amenda，’shesaid，laughingly；’youseeyourselfhowsillyitis。YoumusttellMr。
　　Bowlestokeepyouawayfromsoldiers。’
　　"’Ah，Ican’tlookatitinthesamelightwaythatyoudo，mum，’
　　returnedAmenda，somewhatreprovingly；’agirlthatcan’tseeabitofredmarchingdownthestreetwithoutwantingtorushoutandfollowitain’tfittobeanybody’swife。Why，Ishouldbeleavingtheshopwithnobodyinitabouttwiceaweek，andhe’dhavetogotheroundofallthebarracksinLondon，lookingforme。Ishallsaveupandgetmyselfintoalunaticasylum，that’swhatIshalldo。’
　　"Ethelberthabegantogrowquitetroubled。’Butsurelythisissomethingaltogethernew，Amenda，’shesaid；’youmusthaveoftenmetsoldierswhenyou’vebeenoutinLondon？’
　　"’Ohyes，oneortwoatatime，walkingaboutanyhow，Icanstandthatallright。It’swhenthere’salotofthemwithabandthatI
　　losemyhead。’
　　"’Youdon’tknowwhatit’slike，mum，’sheadded，noticingEthelbertha’spuzzledexpression；’you’veneverhadit。Ionlyhopeyounevermay。’
　　"WekeptacarefulwatchoverAmendaduringtheremainderofourstayatFolkestone，andananxioustimewehadofit。Everydaysomeregimentorotherwouldmarchthroughthetown，andatthefirstsoundofitsmusicAmendawouldbecomerestlessandexcited。
　　ThePiedPiper’sreedcouldnothavestirredtheHamelinchildrendeeperthandidthoseSandgatebandstheheartofourdomestic。
　　Fortunately，theygenerallypassedearlyinthemorningwhenwewereindoors，butoneday，returninghometolunch，wehearddistantstrainsdyingawayupontheHytheRoad。Wehurriedin。Ethelbertharandownintothekitchen；itwasempty！——upintoAmenda’sbedroom；
　　itwasvacant！Wecalled。Therewasnoanswer。
　　"’Thatmiserablegirlhasgoneoffagain，’saidEthelbertha。’Whataterriblemisfortuneitisforher。It’squiteadisease。’
　　"EthelberthawantedmetogotoSandgatecampandinquireforher。
　　Iwassorryforthegirlmyself，butthepictureofayoungandinnocent—lookingmanwanderingaboutacomplicatedcamp，inquiringforalostdomestic，presentingitselftomymind，IsaidthatI’drathernot。
　　Ethelberthathoughtmeheartless，andsaidthatifIwouldnotgoshewouldgoherself。IrepliedthatIthoughtonefemalememberofmyhouseholdwasenoughinthatcampatatime，andrequestedhernotto。Ethelberthaexpressedhersenseofmyinhumanbehaviourbyhaughtilydecliningtoeatanylunch，andIexpressedmysenseofherunreasonablenessbysweepingthewholemealintothegrate，afterwhichEthelberthasuddenlydevelopedexuberantaffectionforthecat（whodidn’twantanybody’slove，butwantedtogetunderthegrateafterthelunch），andIbecamesupernaturallyabsorbedintheday—before—yesterday’snewspaper。
　　"Intheafternoon，strollingoutintothegarden，Iheardthefaintcryofafemaleindistress。Ilistenedattentively，andthecrywasrepeated。IthoughtitsoundedlikeAmenda’svoice，butwhereitcamefromIcouldnotconceive。Itdrewnearer，however，asI
　　approachedthebottomofthegarden，andatlastIlocateditinasmallwoodenshed，usedbytheproprietorofthehouseasadark—
　　roomfordevelopingphotographs。
　　"Thedoorwaslocked。’Isthatyou，Amenda？’Icriedthroughthekeyhole。
　　"’Yes，sir，’camebackthemuffledanswer。’Willyoupleaseletmeout？you’llfindthekeyonthegroundnearthedoor。’
　　"Idiscovereditonthegrassaboutayardaway，andreleasedher。
　　’Wholockedyouin？’Iasked。
　　"’Idid，sir，’shereplied；’Ilockedmyselfin，andpushedthekeyoutunderthedoor。Ihadtodoit，orIshouldhavegoneoffwiththosebeastlysoldiers。’
　　"’IhopeIhaven’tinconveniencedyou，sir，’sheadded，steppingout；’Ileftthelunchalllaid。’"
　　Amenda’spassionforsoldierswasheronetributetosentiment。
　　Towardsallothersofthemalesexshemaintainedanattitudeofcallousunsusceptibility，andherengagementswiththem（whichwerenumerous）wereenteredintoorabandonedongroundssosordidastoseriouslyshockEthelbertha。
　　Whenshecametousshewasengagedtoaporkbutcher——withamilkmaninreserve。ForAmenda’ssakewedealtwiththeman，butweneverlikedhim，andwelikedhisporkstillless。When，therefore，Amendaannouncedtousthatherengagementwithhimwas"off，"andintimatedthatherfeelingswouldinnowaysufferbyourgoingelsewhereforourbacon，wesecretlyrejoiced。
　　"Iamconfidentyouhavedoneright，Amenda，"saidEthelbertha；"youwouldneverhavebeenhappywiththatman。"
　　"No，mum，Idon’tthinkIevershould，"repliedAmenda。"Idon’tseehowanygirlcouldashadn’tthedigestionofanostrich。"
　　Ethelberthalookedpuzzled。"Butwhathasdigestiongottodowithit？"sheasked。
　　"Aprettygooddeal，mum，"answeredAmenda，"whenyou’rethinkingofmarryingamanascan’tmakeasausagefittoeat。"
　　"But，surely，"exclaimedEthelbertha，"youdon’tmeantosayyou’rebreakingoffthematchbecauseyoudon’tlikehissausages！"
　　"Well，Isupposethat’swhatitcomesto，"agreedAmenda，unconcernedly。
　　"Whatanawfulidea！"sighedpoorEthelbertha，afteralongpause。
　　"Doyouthinkyoueverreallylovedhim？"
　　"Ohyes，"saidAmenda，"Ilovedhimrightenough，butit’snogoodlovingamanthatwantsyoutoliveonsausagesthatkeepyouawakeallnight。"
　　"Butdoeshewantyoutoliveonsausages？"persistedEthelbertha。
　　"Oh，hedoesn’tsayanythingaboutit，"explainedAmenda；"butyouknowwhatitis，mum，whenyoumarryaporkbutcher；you’reexpectedtoeatwhat’sleftover。That’sthemistakemypoorcousinElizamade。Shemarriedamuffinman。Ofcourse，whathedidn’tselltheyhadtofinishupthemselves。Why，onewinter，whenhehadarunofbadluck，theylivedfortwomonthsonnothingbutmuffins。
　　Ineversawagirlsochangedinallmylife。Onehastothinkofthesethings，youknow。"
　　ButthemostshamefullymercenaryengagementthatIthinkAmendaeverenteredinto，wasonewitha’busconductor。WewerelivinginthenorthofLondonthen，andshehadayoungman，acheesemonger，whokeptashopinLupusStreet，Chelsea。Hecouldnotcomeuptoherbecauseoftheshop，soonceaweeksheusedtogodowntohim。
　　Onedidnotridetenmilesforapennyinthosedays，andshefoundthefarefromHollowaytoVictoriaandbackaseveretaxuponherpurse。Thesame’busthattookherdownatsixbroughtherbackatten。Duringthefirstjourneythe’busconductorstaredatAmenda；
　　duringthesecondhetalkedtoher，duringthethirdhegaveheracocoanut，duringthefourthheproposedtoher，andwaspromptlyaccepted。Afterthat，Amendawasenabledtovisithercheesemongerwithoutexpense。
　　Hewasaquaintcharacterhimself，this’busconductor。IoftenrodewithhimtoFleetStreet。Heknewmequitewell（IsupposeAmendamusthavepointedmeouttohim），andwouldalwaysaskmeafterher——aloud，beforealltheotherpassengers，whichwastrying—
　　—andgivememessagestotakebacktoher。Wherewomenwereconcernedhehadwhatiscalled"away"withhim，andfromtheextentandvarietyofhisfemaleacquaintance，andtheevidenttendernesswithwhichthemajorityofthemregardedhim，IaminclinedtohopethatAmenda’sdesertionofhim（whichhappenedcontemporaneouslywithherjiltingofthecheesemonger）causedhimlessprolongedsufferingthanmightotherwisehavebeenthecase。
　　HewasamanfromwhomIderivedagooddealofamusementonewayandanother。Thinkingofhimbringsbacktomymindasomewhatoddincident。
　　Oneafternoon，Ijumpeduponhis’busintheSevenSistersRoad。AnelderlyFrenchmanwastheonlyotheroccupantofthevehicle。"Youvilnotforgetme，"theFrenchmanwassayingasIentered，"IdesireSharingCross。"
　　"Iwon’tforgetyer，"answeredtheconductor，"youshall’aveyerSharingCross。Don’tmakeafussaboutit。"
　　"That’sthethirdtime’ee’sarstmenottoforget’im，"heremarkedtomeinastentorianaside；"’eedon’tgiv’yermuchchanceofdoin’it，does’ee？"
　　AtthecorneroftheHollowayRoadwedrewup，andourconductorbegantoshoutafterthemannerofhisspecies："CharingCross——
　　CharingCross——’ereyerare——Comealong，lady——CharingCross。"
　　ThelittleFrenchmanjumpedup，andpreparedtoexit；theconductorpushedhimback。
　　"Sitdownanddon’tbesilly，"hesaid；"thisain’tCharingCross。"
　　TheFrenchmanlookedpuzzled，butcollapsedmeekly。Wepickedupafewpassengers，andproceededonourway。HalfamileuptheLiverpoolRoadaladystoodonthekerbregardingusaswepassedwiththatpatheticminglingofdesireanddistrustwhichistheaveragewoman’sattitudetowardsconveyancesofallkinds。Ourconductorstopped。
　　"Whered’yerwanttogoto？"heaskedherseverely——"Strand——CharingCross？"
　　TheFrenchmandidnothearordidnotunderstandthefirstpartofthespeech，buthecaughtthewords"CharingCross，"andbouncedupandoutontothestep。Theconductorcollaredhimashewasgettingoff，andjerkedhimbacksavagely。
　　"Carn’tyerkeepstillaminute，"hecriedindignantly；"blessedifyoudon’twantlookin’afterlikeabloomin’kid。"
　　"IvonttobeputdownatSharingCross，"answeredtheFrenchman，humbly。
　　"YouvonttobeputdownatSharingCross，"repeatedtheotherbitterly，asheledhimbacktohisseat。"IshallputyerdowninthemiddleoftheroadifI’avemuchmoreofyer。YoustoptheretillIcomeandslingyerout。Iain’tlikelytoletyergomuchpastyerSharingCross，Ishallbetoojollygladtogetrido’
　　yer。"
　　ThepoorFrenchmansubsided，andwejoltedon。At"TheAngel"we，ofcourse，stopped。"CharingCross，"shoutedtheconductor，andupsprangtheFrenchman。
　　"Oh，myGawd，"saidtheconductor，takinghimbytheshouldersandforcinghimdownintothecornerseat，"wotamItodo？Carn’tsomebodysiton’im？"
　　Heheldhimfirmlydownuntilthe’busstarted，andthenreleasedhim。AtthetopofChanceryLanethesamescenetookplace，andthepoorlittleFrenchmanbecameexasperated。
　　"HekeepsayingSharingCross，SharingCross，"heexclaimed，turningtotheotherpassengers；"anditisNOSharingCross。Heisfool。"
　　"Carn’tyerunderstand，"retortedtheconductor，equallyindignant；
　　"ofcourseIsaySharingCross——ImeanCharingCross，butthatdon’tmeanthatitISCharingCross。Thatmeans——"andthenperceivingfromtheblanklookontheFrenchman’sfacetheutterimpossibilityofevermakingthemattercleartohim，heturnedtouswithanappealinggesture，andasked：
　　"DoesanygentlemanknowtheFrenchfor’bloomin’idiot’？"
　　Adayortwoafterwards，Ihappenedtoenterhisomnibusagain。
　　"Well，"Iaskedhim，"didyougetyourFrenchfriendtoCharingCrossallright？"
　　"No，sir，"hereplied，"you’ll’ardlybelieveit，butI’adabitofarowwithapolicemanjustbeforeIgottothecorner，anditput’imcleanouto’my’ead。BlessedifIdidn’trun’imontoVictoria。"
　　CHAPTERXI
　　SaidBrownoneevening，"Thereisbutonevice，andthatisselfishness。"
　　Jephsonwasstandingbeforethefirelightinghispipe。Hepuffedthetobaccointoaglow，threwthematchintotheembers，andthensaid：
　　"Andtheseedofallvirtuealso。"
　　"Sitdownandgetonwithyourwork，"saidMacShaughnassyfromthesofawherehelayatfulllengthwithhisheelsonachair；"we’rediscussingthenovel。Paradoxesnotadmittedduringbusinesshours。"
　　Jephson，however，wasinanargumentativemood。
　　"Selfishness，"hecontinued，"ismerelyanothernameforWill。
　　Everydeed，goodorbad，thatwedoispromptedbyselfishness。Wearecharitabletosecureourselvesagoodplaceinthenextworld，tomakeourselvesrespectedinthis，toeaseourowndistressattheknowledgeofsuffering。Onemaniskindbecauseitgiveshimpleasuretobekind，justasanotheriscruelbecausecrueltypleaseshim。Agreatmandoeshisdutybecausetohimthesenseofdutydoneisadeeperdelightthanwouldbethecaseresultingfromavoidanceofduty。Thereligiousmanisreligiousbecausehefindsajoyinreligion；themoralmanmoralbecausewithhisstrongself—
　　respect，viciousnesswouldmeanwretchedness。Self—sacrificeitselfisonlyasubtleselfishness：wepreferthementalexaltationgainedtherebytothesensualgratificationwhichisthealternativereward。Mancannotbeanythingelsebutselfish。Selfishnessisthelawofalllife。Eachthing，fromthefarthestfixedstartothesmallestinsectcrawlingontheearth，fightingforitselfaccordingtoitsstrength；andbroodingoverall，theEternal，workingforHIMSELF：thatistheuniverse。"
　　"Havesomewhisky，"saidMacShaughnassy；"anddon’tbesocomplicatedlymetaphysical。Youmakemyheadache。"
　　"Ifallaction，goodandbad，springfromselfishness，"repliedBrown，"thentheremustbegoodselfishnessandbadselfishness：
　　andyourbadselfishnessismyplainselfishness，withoutanyadjective，sowearebackwherewestarted。Isayselfishness——badselfishness——istherootofallevil，andthereyouareboundtoagreewithme。"
　　"Notalways，"persistedJephson；"I’veknownselfishness——
　　selfishnessaccordingtotheordinarilyacceptedmeaningoftheterm——tobeproductiveofgoodactions。Icangiveyouaninstance，ifyoulike。"
　　"Hasitgotamoral？"askedMacShaughnassy，drowsily，Jephsonmusedamoment。"Yes，"hesaidatlength；"averypracticalmoral——andoneveryusefultoyoungmen。"
　　"That’sthesortofstorywewant，"saidtheMacShaughnassy，raisinghimselfintoasittingposition。"Youlistentothis，Brown。"
　　Jephsonseatedhimselfuponachair，inhisfavouriteattitude，withhiselbowsrestingupontheback，andsmokedforawhileinsilence。
　　"Therearethreepeopleinthisstory，"hebegan；"thewife，thewife’shusband，andtheotherman。Inmostdramasofthistype，itisthewifewhoisthechiefcharacter。Inthiscase，theinterestingpersonistheotherman。