’Oh,yes;itisquitetrue,’saidJohnny。
  ’ThenyoumustearnmyfriendshipbydoingwhatIaskofyou。Thatpicturemustnotbepainted。YoumusttellConwayDalrympleashisfriendthathemustceasetocarryonsuchanintrigueinanotherman’shouse。’
  ’Youwouldhardlycallpaintingapictureanintrigue;wouldyou?’
  ’CertainlyIwouldwhenit’skeptasecretfromthehusbandbythewife——andfromthemotherbythedaughter。Ifitcannotbestoppedinanyotherway,ImusttellMrsVanSiever;——Imust,indeed。Ihavesuchanabhorrenceoftheoldwoman,thatIcouldnotbringmyselftospeaktoher——butIshouldwritetoher。That’swhatIshoulddo。’
  ’Butwhat’sthereason?Youmightastellmetherealreason。’HadMissDemolinesbeenchristenedMary,orFanny,orJane,IthinkthatJohnEameswouldnowhavecalledherbyeitherofthosenames;butMadalinawassuchamouthfulthathecouldnotbringhimselftouseitatonce。
  HehadheardthatamongherintimatesshewascalledMaddy。HehadanideathathehadheardDalrympleinoldtimestalkofherasMaddyMullins,andjustatthismomenttheideawasnotpleasanttohim;atanyratehecouldnotcallherMaddyasyet。’HowamItohelpyou,’hesaid,’unlessIknowallaboutit?’
  ’Ihatethatgirllikepoison!’saidMissDemolines,confidentially,drawingherselfveryneartoJohnnyasshespoke。
  ’Butwhathasshedone?’
  ’Whathasshedone?Ican’ttellyouwhatshehasdone。Icouldnotdemeanmyselfbyrepeatingit。Ofcourseweallknowwhatshewants。ShewantstocatchConwayDalrymple。That’sasplainasanythingcanbe。NotthatIcareaboutthat。’
  ’Ofcoursenot,’saidJohnny。
  ’Notintheleast。It’snothingtome。IhaveknownConwayDalrymple,nodoubt,forayearortwo,andIshouldbesorrytoseeayoungmanwhohashisgoodpointssacrificedinthatsortofway。ButitismereacquaintancebetweenMrDalrympleandme,andofcourseIcannotinterfere。’
  ’She’llhavealotofmoney,youknow。’
  ’Hethinksso;doeshe?IsupposethatiswhatMariahastoldhim。Oh,MrEames,youdon’tknowthemeannessofwomen;youdon’tindeed。Menaresomuchmorenoble。’
  ’Arethey,doyouthink?’
  ’Thansomewomen。Iseewomendoingthingsthatreallydisgustme;Idoindeed;——thingsthatIwouldn’tdomyself,wereiteverso;——strivingtocatchmenineverypossibleway,andforsuchpurposes!Iwouldn’thavebelieveditofMariaClutterbuck。Iwouldn’tindeed。HoweverIwillneversayawordagainsther,becauseshehasbeenmyfriend。Nothingshalleverinduceme。’
  JohnEamesbeforeheleftPorchesterTerrace,hadatlastsucceededincallinghisfairfriendMadalina,andhadpromisedthathewouldendeavourtoopentheartist’seyestothefollyofpaintinghispictureinBroughton’shousewithoutBroughton’sknowledge。
  CHAPTERXL
  MRTOOGOOD’SIDEASABOUTSOCIETY
  AdayortwoaftertheinterviewwhichwasdescribedinthelastchapterJohnEamesdinedwithhisuncleMrThomasToogood,inTavistockSquare。
  Hewasinthehabitofdoingthisaboutonceamonth,andwasagreatfavouritebothwithhiscousinsandwiththeirmother。MrToogooddidnotgivedinner—parties;alwaysbeggingthosewhomheaskedtoenjoyhishospitality,totakepotluck,andtellingyoungmenwhomhecouldtreatwithfamiliarity——suchashisnephew——thatiftheywantedtoberegaledalaRussetheymustnotcometoNumber75TavistockSquare。’Alegofmuttonandtrimmings;thatwillbeabouttheoutsideofit,’hewouldsay;buthewouldaddinawhisper——’andaglassofportsuchasyoudon’tgeteverydayofyourlife。’PollyandLucyToogoodwereprettygirls,andmerrywithal,andcertainyoungmenwerewellcontentedtoaccepttheattorney’sinvitation——whetherattractedbythepromisedlegofmutton,ortheportwine,ortheyoungladies,Iwillnotattempttosay。Butithadsohappenedthatoneyoungman,aclerkfromJohnEames’soffice,hadpartakensooftenoftheputluckandportwinethatPollyToogoodhadconqueredhimbyhercharms,andhewasnowaslave,waitinganappropriatetimeformatrimonialsacrifice。WilliamSummerkinwastheyoungman’sname;andasitwasknownthatMrSummerkinwastoinheritafortuneamountingtothreehundredpoundsfromhismaidenaunt,itwasconsideredthatPollyToogoodwasnotdoingamiss。’I’llgiveyouthreehundredpounds,myboy,justtoputafewsheetsonthebeds,’saidToogoodthefather,’andwhentheoldbirdsarebothdeadshe’llhaveathousandpoundsoutofthenest。That’stheextentofPolly’sfortune;——sonowyouknow。’Summerkinwas,however,quitecontentedtohavehisownmoneysettledonhisdarlingPolly,andthewholethingwaslookedatwithpleasantandpropitiouseyesbytheToogoodconnexion。
  WhenJohnEamesenteredthedrawing—roomSummerkinandPollywerealreadythere。Summerkinblusheduptohiseyes,ofcourse,butPollysatasdemurelyasthoughshehadbeenaccustomedtohavingloversallherlife。’Mammawillbedownalmostimmediately,John,’saidPollyassoonasthefirstgreetingswereover,’andpapahascomein,Iknow。’
  ’Summerkin,’saidJohnny,’I’mafraidyoulefttheofficebeforefouro’clock。’
  ’No,Ididnot,’saidSummerkin。’Idenyit。’
  ’Polly,’saidhercousin,’youshouldkeephiminbetterorder。Hewillcertainlycometogriefifhegoesonlikethis。Isupposeyoucoulddowithouthimforhalfanhour。’
  ’Idon’twanthimIassureyou,’saidPolly。
  ’Ihaveonlybeenherejustfiveminutes,’saidSummerkin,’andIcamebecauseMrsToogoodaskedmetodoacommission。’
  ’That’sciviltoyou,Polly,’saidJohn。
  ’It’squiteascivilasIwishhimtobe,’saidPolly。’Andasforyou,John,everybodyknowsthatyou’reagoose,andthatyoualwayswereagoose。Isn’thealwaysdoingfoolishthingsattheoffice,William?’ButasJohnEameswasratheragreatmanattheIncome—TaxOffice,Summerkincouldnotfallintohissweetheart’sjokeonthissubject,findingiteasierandperhapssafertotwiddlethebodkinsofPolly’swork—basket。
  ThenToogoodandMrsToogoodenteredtheroomtogether,andtheloverswereabletobealoneagainduringthegeneralgreetingswithwhichJohnnywaswelcomed。
  ’Youdon’tknowtheSilverbridgepeople——doyou?’askedMrToogood。
  Eamessaidthathedidnot。HehadbeenatSilverbridgemorethanonce,butdidnotknowverymuchoftheSilverbridgians。’BecauseWalkeriscomingheretodinehere。WalkeristheleadingmaninSilverbridge。’
  ’AndwhatisWalker;——besidesbeingtheleadingmaninSilverbridge?’
  ’He’salawyer。WalkerandWinthrop。EverybodyknowsWalkerinBarsetshire。I’vebeendownatBarchestersinceIsawyou。’
  ’Haveyouindeed?’saidJohnny。
  ’AndI’lltellyouwhatI’vebeenabout。YouknowMrCrawley;don’tyou?’
  ’TheHogglestockclergymanthathascometogrief?Idon’tknowhimpersonally。He’sasortofcousinbymarriage,youknow。’
  ’Ofcourseheis,’saidToogood。’Hiswifeismyfirst—cousin,andyourmother’sfirstcousin。Hecameheretometheotherday;——orrathertotheshop。Ihadneverseenthemanbeforeinmylife,andaveryqueerfellowheistoo。Hecametomeaboutthistroubleofhis,andofcourseImustdowhatIcanforhim。IgotmyselfintroducedtoWalker,whohasthemanagementoftheprosecution,andIaskedhimtocomeanddinetonight。’
  ’AndwhatsortoffellowdidyoufindCrawley,UncleTom?’
  ’Suchaqueerfish;——sounlikeanybodyelseintheworld。’
  ’ButIsupposehedidtakethemoney,’saidJohnny。
  ’Idon’tknowwhattosayaboutit。Idon’tindeed。Ifhetookithedidn’tmeantostealit。I’massurethatmandidn’tmeantostealtwentypoundsasIevercouldbeofanything。PerhapsIshallgetsomethingaboutitoutofWalkerafterdinner。’ThenMrWalkerenteredtheroom。’Thisisverykindofyou,MrWalker;veryindeed。Itakeitquiteasacompliment,yourcomingininthissortofway。It’sjustpotluck,youknow,andnothingelse。’MrWalkerofcourseassuredhishostthathewasdelighted。’Justalegofmuttonandabottleofoldport,MrWalker,’continuedToogood。’Wenevergetbeyondthatinthewayofdinner—giving;do,we,Maria?’
  ButMariawasatthismomentdescantingonthegoodluckofthefamilytohernephew——andononespecialpieceofgoodluckwhichhadjustoccurred。MrSummerkin’smaidenaunthaddeclaredherintentionofgivingupthefortunetotheyoungpeopleatonce。Shehadenoughtoliveupon,shesaid,andwouldthereforemaketwolovershappy。’Andthey’retobemarriedonthefirstdayofMay,’saidLucy——thatLucyofwhomherfatherhadboastedtoMrCrawleythatsheknewByronbyheart——’andwon’tthatbejolly?Mammaisgoingouttolookforahouseforthemtomorrow。FancyPollywithahouseofherown!Won’titbestunning?Iwishyouweregoingtobemarriedtoo,Johnny。’
  ’Don’tbeafool,Lucy。’
  ’OfcourseIknowthatyouareinlove。Ihopeyouarenotgoingtogiveoverbeinginlove,Johnny,becauseitissuchfun。’
  ’Waittillyou’vecaughtyourself,mygirl。’
  ’Idon’tmeantobecaughttillsomegreatswellcomesthisway。AndasgreatswellsneverdocometoTavistockSquare,Ishan’thaveachance。
  I’lltellyouwhatIwouldlike;I’dliketohaveaCorsair——orelseaGiaour;——IthinkaGiaourwouldbenicest。OnlyaGiaourwouldn’tbeaGiaourhere,youknow。Fancyalover"whothunderingcomesonblackeststeed,Withslackenedbitandhoofofspeed。"Werenotthosedaystolivein!Butallthatisovernow,youknow,andyoungpeopletakehousesinWoburnPlace,insteadofbeinglockedup,ordrowned,ormarriedtoahideousmonsterbehindaveil。Isupposeit’sbetterasitis,forsomereasons。’
  ’Ithinkitmustbemorejolly,asyoucallit,Lucy。’
  ’I’mnotquitesure。IknowI’dgobackandbeMedora,ifIcould。
  MammaisalwaystellingPollythatshemustbecarefulaboutWilliam’sdinner。ButConraddidn’tcareforhisdinner。"Lighttoil!tocullanddressmyfrugalfare!See,Ihavepluckedthefruitthatpromisedbest。"’
  ’AndhowoftendoyouthinkConradgotdrunk?’
  ’Idon’tthinkhegotdrunkatall。ThereisnoreasonwhyheshouldanymorethanWilliam。Comealong,andtakemedowntodinner。Afterall,papa’slegofmuttonisbetterthanMedora’sapples,whenoneisashungryasIam。’
  Thelegofmuttononthisoccasionconsistedofsoup,fish,andabitofroastbeef,andacoupleofboiledfowls。’IfIhadonlytwochildreninsteadoftwelve,’MrWalker,’saidthehost,’I’dgiveyouadinneralaRusse。’
  ’Idon’tbegrudgeMrsToogoodasinglearrowinherquiveronthatscore,’saidMrWalker。
  ’Peoplearegettingtobesoluxuriousthatonecan’tliveuptothematall,’saidMrsToogood。’Wedinedoutherewithsomenewcomersinthesquareonlylastweek。Wehadaskedthembefore,andtheycamequiteinaquietway——justlikethis;andwhenwegottherewefoundthey’dfourkindsoficesafterdinner!’
  ’Andnotamorseloffoodonthetablefittoeat,’saidToogood。’I
  neverwassopoisonedinmylife。Asforsoup——itwasjustthewashingsofthepastrycook’skettlenextdoor。’
  ’Andhowisonetolivewithsuchpeople,MrWalker?’continuedMrsToogood。’Ofcoursewecan’taskthembackagain。Wegivethemfourkindsofices。’
  ’Butwouldthatbenecessary?Perhapstheyhaven’tgottwelvechildren。’
  ’Theyhaven’tgotanyatall,’saidToogood,triumphing;’notachickbelongingtothem。Butyouseeonemustdoasotherpeopledo。Ihateanythinggrand。Iwouldn’twantmorethanthisformyself,ifbank—noteswereasplentyascurl—papers。’
  ’Nobodyhasanycurl—papersnow,papa,’saidLucy。
  ’ButIcan’tbeartobeoutdone,’saidMrToogood。’Ithinkit’sveryunpleasant——peoplelivinginthatsortofway。It’sallverywelltellingmethatIneedn’tlivesotoo;——andofcourseIdon’t。Ican’taffordtohavefourmeninfromtheconfectioner’sdressedasightbetterthanmyself,attenshillingsahead。Ican’taffordit,andI
  don’tdoit。ButtheworstofitisthatIsufferbecauseotherpeopledoit。ItstandstoreasonthatImusteitherbedrivenalongwiththecrowd,orelsebeleftbehind。Now,Idon’tlikeeither。Andwhat’stheendofit?WhyI’mhalfcarriedawayandhalfleftbehind。’
  ’Uponmyword,papa,Idon’tthinkyou’recarriedawayatall,saidLucy。
  ’Yes,Iam;andI’mashamedofmyself。MrWalker,Idon’tdaretoaskyoutodrinkaglassofwinewithmeinmyownhouse——that’swhatI
  don’t——becauseit’stheproperthingforyoutowaittillsomebodybringsittoyou,andthendrinkitbyyourself。ThereisnoknowingwhetherImightn’toffendyou。’AndMrToogoodashespokegraspedthedecanterathiselbow。MrWalkergraspedanotherathiselbow,andthetwoattorneystooktheirglassofwinetogether。
  ’AveryqueercasethisisofmycousinCrawley’s,’saidToogoodtoWalker,whentheladieshadleftthedining—room。
  ’Amostdistressingcase。Ineverknewanythingsomuchtalkedofinourpartofthecountry。’
  ’Hecan’thavebeenapopularman,Ishouldsay。’
  ’No;notpopular——notintheordinaryway;——anythingbutthat。Nobodyknewhimpersonallybeforethismattercameup。’
  ’Butagoodclergyman,probably?I’minterestedinthecase,ofcourseashiswifeismyfirst—cousin。Youwillunderstand,however,thatI
  knownothingofhim。Myfathertriedtobeciviltohimonce,butCrawleywouldn’thaveitatall。Weallthoughthewasmadthen。I
  supposehehasdonehisdutyinhisparish?’
  ’Hehasquarrelledwiththebishop,youknow,——outandout。’
  ’Hashe,indeed?ButI’mnotsurethatIthinkverymuchaboutbishops,Walker。’
  ’Thatdependsverymuchontheparticularbishop。Somepeoplesayoursisn’tallthatabishopoughttobe,whileothersareveryfondofhim。’
  ’AndMrCrawleybelongstotheformerset,that’sall?’saidMrToogood。
  ’No,MrToogood;thatisn’tall。Theworstofyourcousinasthathehasanaptitudetoquarrelwitheverybody。Heisoneofthosemenwhoalwaysthinkthemselvestobeill—used。Nowourdean,DrArabin,hasbeenhisveryoldfriend——andasfarasIcanlearn,averygoodfriend;
  butitseemsthatMrCrawleyhasdonehisbesttoquarrelwithhimtoo。’
  ’Hespokeofthedeaninthehighesttermstome。’
  ’Hemaydothat——andyetquarrelwithhim。He’dquarrelwithhisownrighthand,ifhenothingelsetoquarrelwith。Thatmakesthedifficulty,yousee。He’lltakenobody’sadvice。Hethinkswe’reallagainsthim。’
  ’Isupposetheworldhasbeenheavyonhim,MrWalker?’
  ’Theworldhasbeenveryheavyonhim,’saidJohnEames,whohadnowbeenleftfreetojointheconversation,MrSummerkinhavinggoneawaytohislady—love。’Youmustnotjudgehimasyoudoothermen。’
  ’Thatisjustit,’saidMrWalker。’Andtowhatresultwillthatbringus?’
  ’Thatweoughttostretchapointinhisfavour,’saidToogood。
  ’Butwhy?’askedtheattorneyfromSilverbridge。’Whatdowemeanwhenwesaythatonemanisn’ttobetrustedasanother?Wesimplyimplythatheisnotwhatwecallresponsible。’
  ’AndIdon’tthinkMrCrawleyisresponsible,’saidJohnny。
  ’Thenhowcanhebefittohavechargeofaparish?’saidMrWalker。
  ’Youseewherethedifficultyis。Howitembarrassesoneallround。Theamountofevidenceastothechequeis,Ithink,sufficienttogetaverdictinanordinarycase,andtheCrownhasnotalternativebutsototreatit。Thenhisfriendscomeforward——andfromsympathywithhissufferings,Idesiretoberankedamongthenumber——andsay,’Ah,butyoushouldsparethisman,becauseheisnotresponsible。’Wereheonewhofillednopositionrequiringspecialresponsibility,thatmightbeverywell。Hisfriendsmightundertaketolookafterhim,andtheprosecutionmightperhapsbesmothered。ButMrCrawleyholdsaliving,andifheescapehewillbetriumphant——especiallytriumphantoverthebishop。Now,ifhehasreallytakenthismoney,andifhisonlyexcusebethathedidnotknowwhenhetookitwhetherhewasstealingorwhetherhewasnot——forthesakeofjusticethatoughtnottobeallowed。’
  ’Youthinkhecertainlydidstealthemoney?’saidJohnny。
  ’Youhaveheardtheevidence,nodoubt?’saidMrWalker。
  ’Idon’tfeelquitesureaboutit,yet,’saidMrToogood。
  ’Quitesureofwhat?’saidMrWalker。
  ’Thatthechequegotdroppedinhishouse。’
  ’Itwasatanyratetracedtohishands。’
  ’Ihavenodoubtaboutthat,’saidToogood。
  ’Andhecan’taccountforit,’saidWalker。
  ’Amanisn’tboundtoshowwherehegothismoney,’saidJohnny。
  ’Supposethatsovereignismarked,’andJohnnyproducedacoinfromhispocket,’andIdon’tknowbutwhatitis;andsupposeitisprovedtohavebelongedtosomeonewholostit,andthentobetracedtomyownhands——howamItosaywhereIgotit?IfIwereaskedIshouldsimplydeclinetoanswer。’
  ’Butachequeisnotasovereign,MrEames,’saidWalker。’Itispresumedthatamancanaccountforthepossessionofacheque。Itmaybethatamanshouldhaveachequeinhispossessionandnotbeabletoaccountforit,andshouldyetbeopentonogravesuspicion。Insuchacaseajuryhastojudge。Hereisthefact:thatMrCrawleyhasthecheque,andbringsitintousesomeconsiderabletimeafteritisdrawn;andtheadditionalfactthatthedrawerofthechequehadlostit,ashethought,inMrCrawley’shouse,andhadlookedforitthere,soonafteritwasdrawn,andlongbeforeitwaspaid。Ajurymustjudge;
  but,asalawyer,IshouldsaythattheburdenofdisprooflieswithMrCrawley。’
  ’Didyoufindoutanything,MrWalker,’saidToogood,’aboutthemanwhodroveMrSoamesthatday?’
  ’No——nothing。’
  ’Thetrapwasfrom"TheDragon"atBarchester,Ithink?’
  ’Yes——from"TheDragonofWantly"。’
  ’Arespectablesortofhouse?’
  ’Prettywellforthat,Ibelieve。I’veheardthatthepeoplearepoor,’
  saidWalker。
  ’Somebodytoldmethatthey’dhadaqueerlotaboutthehouse,andthatthreeorfourofthemleftjustthen。IthinkIheardthattwoorthreemenfromtheplacewenttoNewZealandtogether。ItjustcameoutinconversationwhileIwasintheinn—yard。’
  ’Ihaveneverheardanythingofit,’saidWalker。
  ’Idon’tsaythatitcanhelpus。’
  ’Idon’tseethatitcan,’saidWalker。
  Afterthattherewasapause,andMrToogoodpushedabouttheoldport,andmadesomeverystingingremarkastotheclaret—drinkingpropensitiesoftheage。’Gladstoneclaretthemostofitis,Ifancy,’
  saidMrToogood。’Ifindthatportwinewhichmyfatherboughtinthewoodfive—and—twentyyearsagoisgoodenoughforme。’MrWalkersaidthatitwasquitegoodenoughforhim,almosttoogood,andthathethoughtthathehadhadenoughofit。Thehostthreatenedanotherbottle,andwasuptodrawthecork——rathertothesatisfactionofJohnEames,wholikedhisuncle’sport——butMrWalkerstoppedhim。’Notadropmoreforme,’hesaid。’Youarequitesure?’’Quitesure。’AndMrWalkermovedtowardsthedoor。
  ’It’sagreatpity,MrWalker,’saidToogood,goingbacktothatoldsubject,’thatthedeanandhiswifeshouldbeaway。’
  ’Iunderstandthattheybothwillbehomebeforethetrial,’saidMrWalker。
  ’Yes——butyouknowhowveryimportantitistolearnbeforehandexactlywhatyourwitnessescanproveandwhattheycan’tprove。Andmoreover,thoughneitherthedeannorhiswifemightperhapsbeabletotellusanythingthemselves,theymighthelptoputusontheproperscent。I
  thinkI’llsendsomebodyafterthem。IthinkIwill。’
  ’Itwouldbeaheavyexpense,MrToogood。’
  ’Yes,’saidToogoodmournfully,thinkingofhistwelvechildren;’itwouldbeaheavyexpense。ButIneverliketostickatathingwhenitoughttobedone。IthinkIshallsendafellowafterthem。’
  ’I’llgo,’saidJohnny。
  ’Howcanyougo?’
  ’I’llmakeoldSnufflegivemeleave。’
  ’Butwillthatlessentheexpense?’saidMrWalker。
  ’Well,yes,Ithinkitwill,’saidJohn,modestly。
  ’Mynephewisarichman,MrWalker,’saidMrToogood。
  ’Thataltersthecase,’saidMrWalker。Andthus,beforetheyleftthedining—room,itwassettledthatJohnEamesshouldbetaughthislessonandshouldseekbothMrsArabinandDrArabinontheirtravels。