Justthisfinedishonestyofhereyes,moreover——thelightofaparttoplay,theexcitement(heavenknowswhatitstruckmeasbeing!)ofahappyduplicity——maywellhavebeenwhatcontributedmosttoherpresentgrandair。
Itwasinanycasewhatevokedformemostthecontrastedimage,sofreshwithme,oftheother,thetragiclady——theimagethathadsoembodiedtheunutterableoppositeofeverythingactuallybeforeme。Whatwasactuallybeforemewasthepositiveprideoflifeandexpansion,theamplitudeofconsciousactionanddesign;notthearidchannelforsakenbythestream,butthefull—fedriversweepingtothesea,thevolumeofwater,thestatelycurrent,thefloodedbanksintowhichthesourcehadswelled。TherewasnothingMrs。Serverhadbeenabletorisk,buttherewasarichindifferencetoriskinthemerecarriageofGraceBrissenden’shead。Herreference,forthatmatter,toourdiscussedsubjecthadtheeffectofrelegatingtotherealmofdimshadestheladyrepresentingit,andtherewassmallsoundnessinherglanceatthepossibilityonthepartofthispersonofananxiousprowlback。Therewasindeed——therecouldbe——smallsincerityinanyimmediatedemonstrationfromawomansomarkedlygainingtimeandgettingheradvantagesinhand。Theconnectionsbetweenthetwo,certainly,wereindirectandintricate,butitwaspositivetomethat,forthespiritualear,mycompanion’swordshadthesoundofahardbump,acontactfromtheforceofwhichtheweakervesselmighthavebeenfelttocrack。Atlast,mercifulpowers,itwasinpieces!Theshockofthebrasshadtoldupontheporcelain,andIfanciedmyselfforaninstantfacingMrs。Brissoverthedamage——adamagefromwhichIwasnever,asIknew,toseethepoorbanishedghostrecover。Asstrangeasanythingwasthiseffectalmostofsurpriseformeinthefreedomofhermentionof"May。"Forwhathadshecometome,ifforanything,buttoinsistonherviewofMay,andwhataccordinglywasmoretothepointthantomentionher?Yetitwasalmostalreadyasiftomentionherhadbeentogetridofher。Shewasmentioned,however,inevitablyandnonethelesspromptly,anew——evenasifsimplytoreceiveafinalshakebeforebeingquitedropped。Myfriendkeptitup。"IfyouweresobentonnotlosingwhatImighthavetogiveyouthatyoufortunatelystucktotheship,forpoorBrisstopickyouup,wasn’tthisalso"——sheroundlyputittome——"agooddealbecauseyou’vebeennursingalldaythegrievancewithwhichIthismorningsocomfortablyfurnishedyou?"
Ijustwaited,butfairlyforadmiration。"Oh,Icertainlyhadmyreasons——asI’venolesscertainlyhadmyluck——fornotindeeddesertingourdearlittlebattered,butstilljustsufficientlybuoyantvessel,fromwhicheveryoneelseappears,Irecognise;tos’etresauve。She’llfloatafewminutesmore!But(beforeshesinks!)doyoumeanbymygrievance——"
"Oh,youknowwhatImeanbyyourgrievance!"SHEhadnointention,Mrs。Briss,ofsinking。"IwastogiveyoutimetomakeupyourmindthatMrs。Serverwasourlady。Yousoresented,forsomereason,mysuggestingitthatIscarcelybelievedyou’dconsideritatall;onlyIhadn’tforgotten,whenIspoketoyouawhilesince,thatyouhadneverthelesshandsomelypromisedmethatyouwoulddoyourbest。"
"Yes,and,stillmorehandsomely,thatifIchangedmymind,Iwouldeat,inyourpresence,formyerror,thelargestpossiblesliceofhumblepie。Ifyoudidn’tseethismorning,"Icontinued,"quitewhyIshouldhavecaredsomuch,soIdon’tquiteseewhy,inyourdifferentway,youshould;atthesametimethatIdofulljusticetothegoodfaithwithwhichyou’vegivenmemychance。PleasebelievethatifICOULDcandidlyembracethatchanceIshouldfeelallthejoyintheworldinrepayingyou。It’sonly,alas!becauseIclingtomycandourthatIventuretodisappointyou。IfIcaredthismorningitwasreallysimpleenough。Youdidn’tconvinceme,butIshouldhavecaredjustasmuchifyouhad。Ionlydidn’tseewhatyousaw。Ineededmorethanyoucouldthengiveme。Iknew,yousee,whatIneeded——ImeanbeforeIstruck!Itwastheelementofcollateralsupportthatwebothlacked。Icouldn’tdowithoutitasyoucould。ThiswaswhatI,clumsilyenough,triedtoshowyouIfelt。You,onyourside,"
Ipursued,"graspedadmirablytheevidenttruththatthatelementCOULD
bepresentonlyinsuchdosesaspracticallytoescapedetection。"Ikeptitupasshehaddone,andIrememberstrikingmyselfasscarcelessexcitedlyvoluble。IwasconsciousofbeingatapointatwhichIshouldhavetogostraight,togofast,togoit,asthephraseis,blind,inordertogoatall。Iwasalsoconscious——anditcamefromthelookwithwhichshelistenedtomeandthattoldmemorethanshewished——Ifeltsharply,thoughbutinstinctively,infine,thatIshouldstill,whateverIpracticallyhadlost,makemypersonalexperiencemostrichandmostcompletebyputtingitdefinitelytoherthat,sorryasImightbenottoobligeher,Ihad,evenatthishour,nosubmissiontomake。IdoubtedinfactwhethermymakingoneWOULDhaveobligedher;butIfeltthat,forallsomuchhadcomeandgone,Iwasnottheretotake,forherpossibleprofit,anynewtonewithher。Shewouldsufficientlyprofit,attheworst,bytheold。
Myoldmotive——oldwiththeprodigiousantiquitythefewhourshadgivenit——hadquiteleftme;Iseemedtomyselftoknowlittlenowofmydesireto"protect"Mrs。Server。Shewascertainly,withMrs。Brissatleast,pastallprotection;andtheconvictionhadgrownwithme,inthesefewminutes,thattherewasnownoragofthequeertruththatMrs。Brisshadn’tsecretly——bywhichImeantmorally——handled。ButInonetheless,onaperfectlysimplereasoning,stoodtomyguns,andwithnosensewhatever,Imustadd,ofnowbreakingmyvowofthemorning。Ihadmadeanothervowsincethen——madeittothepoorladyherselfaswesattogetherinthewood;passedmywordtoHERthattherewasnoapproximationIpretendedeventomyselftohavemade。HowthenwasItopretendtoMrs。Briss,andwhatfactsHADIcollectedonwhichIcouldrespectablygroundanacknowledgmenttoherthatIhadcomeroundtoherbelief?IfIhad"caught"ourincriminatedpairtogether——reallytogether——evenforthreeminutes,Iwould,Isincerelyconsidered,havecomeround。ButIwastohaveperformedthisrevolutiononnothingless,asInowwentontoexplaintoher。"Ofcourseifyou’vegotnewevidenceIshallbedelightedtohearit;andofcourseIcan’thelpwonderingwhetherthepossessionofitandthedesiretooverwhelmmewithitaren’t,together,theonethingyou’vebeennursingtillnow。"
Oh,howintenselyshedidn’tlikesuchatone!Ifshehadn’tlookedsohandsomeIwouldsayshemadeawryfaceoverit,thoughIdidn’tevenyetseewhereherdislikewouldmakehercomeout。Beforeshecameout,infact,shewaitedasifitwereaquestionofdashingherheadatawall。
Then,atlast,shecharged。"It’snonsense。I’venothingtotellyou。I
feelthere’snothinginitandI’vegivenitup。"
Ialmostgaped——bywhichImeanthatIlookedasifIdid——forsurprise。
"Youagreethatit’snotshe——?"Then,assheagainwaited,"It’sYOUwho’vecomeround?"Iinsisted。
"ToyourdoubtofitsbeingMay?Yes——I’vecomeround。"
"Ah,pardonme,"Ireturned;"whatIexpressedthismorningwas,ifIrememberrightly,notatalla’doubt,’butapositive,intimateconvictionthatwasinconsistentwithANYdoubt。Iwasemphatic——purelyandsimply——thatIdidn’tseeit。"
Shelooked,however,asifshecaughtmeinaweaknesshere。"Thenwhydidyousaytomethatifyoushouldreconsider——"
"Youshouldhandsomelyhaveitfromme,andmygrounds?Why,asI’vejustremindedyou,asaformofcourtesytoyou——magnanimouslytohelpyou,asitwere,tofeelascomfortableasIconceivedyounaturallywoulddesiretofeelinyourownconviction。Onlyforthat。Andnow,"Ismiled,"I’mtounderstandfromyouthat,inspiteofthatimmenseallowance,youHAVEN’T,allthiswhile,feltcomfortable?"
Shegave,onthis,inawonderful,beautifulway,aslow,simplifyingheadshake。"Mrs。Serverisn’tinit!"
Theonlywaythentotakeitfromherwasthatherconcessionwasapreludetosomethingstillbetter;andwhenIhadgivenhertimetoseethisdawnuponmeIhadmyeagernessandIjumpedintothebreathless。
"You’vemadeoutthenwhoIS?"
"Oh,Idon’tmakeout,youknow,"shelaughed,"somuchasyou!SHE
isn’t,"shesimplyrepeated。
Ilookedatit,onmyinspiration,quiteruefully——almostasifInowwished,afterall,shewere。"Ah,but,doyouknow?itreallystrikesmeyoumakeoutmarvels。YoumadeoutthismorningquitewhatIcouldn’t。
Ihadn’tputtogetheranythingsoextraordinaryasthat——inthetotalabsenceofeverything——itSHOULDhavebeenourfriend。"
Mrs。Brissappeared,onherside,totakeintheintentionofthis。
"Whatdoyoumeanbythetotalabsence?WhenImademymistake,"shedeclaredasifintheinterestofherdignity,"Ididn’tthinkeverythingabsent。"
"Isee,"Iadmitted。"Isee,"Ithoughtfullyrepeated。"Anddoyou,then,thinkeverythingnow?"
"Ihadmyhonestimpressionofthemoment,"shepursuedasifshehadnotheardme。"Therewereappearancesthat,asitatthetimestruckme,fitted。"
"Precisely"——andIrecalledforhertheoneshehadmademostof。"TherewasinespecialtheappearancethatshewasataparticularmomentusingBrissendentoshowwhomshewasnotusing。YoufeltTHEN,"Iventuredtoobserve,"theforceofthat。"
Iventuredlessthan,already,Ishouldhavelikedtoventure;yetI
nonethelessseemedtoseehertryonmetheeffectoftheintimationthatIwasgoingfar。"Isityourwish,"sheinquiredwithmuchnobleness,"toconfrontme,tomyconfusion,withmyinconsistency?"Hernoblenessoffereditselfsomehowassucharebuketomymerelogicthat,inmymomentaryirritation,Imighthavebeenonthepointofassentingtoherquestion。
Thisimminenceofmyassent,justifiedbymyhorrorofherhugeegotism,butjustifiedbynothingelseandprecipitatingeverything,seemedasmarkedforthesefewsecondsasifweeachhadoureyesonit。ButIsatsotightthatthedangerpassed,leavingmysilencetodowhatitcouldformymanners。
Sheproceededmeanwhiletoaddaveryhandsomeaccountofherown。"YoushoulddomethejusticetorecognisehowlittleIneedhavespokenanotherwordtoyou,andhowlittle,also,thisamiableexplanationtoyouisintheinterestofone’snaturalpride。ItseemstomeI’vecometoyouherealtogetherintheinterestofYOURS。Youtalkabouthumblepie,butIthinkthat,uponmyword——withallI’vesaidtoyou——it’sIwhohavehadtoeatit。Themagnanimityyouspeakof,"shecontinuedwithallhergrandeur——"I
reallydon’tsee,either,whoseitisbutmine。Idon’tseewhataccountofanythingI’minanywayobligedtogive。"
Igranteditquicklyandwithoutreserve。"You’renotobligedtogiveany——you’requiteright:youdoitonlybecauseyou’resuchalarge,splendidcreature。Iquitefeelthat,besideyou"——Idid,atleast,treatmyselftotheamusementofsaying——"Imoveinatinycircle。Still,Iwon’thaveit"——Icouldalso,again,keepitup——"thatouroccasionhasnothingforyoubutthetasteofabasement。Yougulpyourmouthfuldown,buthasn’titbeenservedongoldplate?You’vehadamagnificentday——abrimmingcupoftriumph,andyou’remorebeautifulandfresh,afteritall,andatanhourwhenfatiguewouldbealmostpositivelygraceful,thanyouwereeventhismorning,whenyoumetmeasadaughterofthedawn。That’sthesortofsense,"Ilaughed,"thatmustsustainawoman!"AndIwounduponacompleterecoveryofmygood—humour。"No,no。Ithankyou——thankyouimmensely。ButIdon’tpityyou。Youcanaffordtolose。"Iwantedherperplexity——thepropersharpdoseofit——toresultbothfromherknowingandhernotknowingsufficientlywhatImeant;andwhenIinfactsawhowperplexedshecouldbeandhowlittle,again,shecouldenjoyit,Ifeltanewmyprivatewonderatherhavingcaredanddaredtomeetme。WhereWASenjoyment,forher,wheretheinsolenceofsuccess,ifthebreathofironycouldchillthem?Why,sinceshewasbold,shouldshebesusceptible,andhow,sinceshewassusceptible,couldshebebold?Iscarceknowwhat,atthismoment,determinedthedivination;buteverything,thedistinctandthedimalike,hadclearedupthenextinstantatthetouchoftherealtruth。Thecertitudeofthesourceofmypresentopportunityhadrolledovermebeforeweexchangedanotherword。ThesourcewassimplyGilbertLong,andshewastherebecausehehaddirectedit。Thisconnectionhookeditself,likeasuddenpictureandwithaclickthatfairlyresoundedthroughouremptyrooms,intothearrayoftheotherconnections,totheimmenseenrichment,asitwaseasytofeel,oftheoccasion,andtotheimmenseconfirmationoftheveryideathat,inthecourseoftheevening,Ihadcomeneardismissingfrommymindastoofantasticevenfortherestofthecompanyitshouldenjoythere。WhatInowwassureofflashedback,atanyrate,everysyllableofsenseIcouldhavedesiredintothesuggestionIhad,afterthemusic,caughtfromthejuxtapositionofthesetwo。Thussolidified,thisconviction,itspreadandspreadtoadistancegreaterthanIcouldjustthentraverseunderMrs。Briss’seyes,butwhich,exactlyforthatreasonperhaps,quickenedmyprideinthekingdomofthoughtI
hadwon。Iwasreallynottohavefeltmore,inthewholebusiness,thanIfeltatthismomentthatbymyownrighthandIhadgainedthekingdom。
Longandsheweretogether,andIwasalonethusinfaceofthem,buttherewasnonethelessnotasingleflowerofthegardenthatmywovenwreathshouldlack。
ImusthavelookedqueertomyfriendasIgrinnedtomyselfoverthisvow;butmyrelishofthewayIwaskeepingthingstogethermademeperhapsfortheinstantundulyrash。Icautionedmyself,however,fortunately,beforeitcouldleaveher——scaredalittle,allthesame,evenwithLongbehindher——anadvantagetotake,and,ininfinitelylesstimethanIhaveneededtotellit,Ihadachievedmyflightintoluminousetherand,alightinggracefullyonmyfeet,reportedmyselfatmypost。IhadinotherwordstakeninboththefullprodigyoftheententebetweenMrs。Server’sloverandpoorBriss’swife,andthefinerstrengthitgavethelast—namedastherepresentativeoftheirinterest。ImayaddtoothatIhadeventakentimefairlynottodecidewhichofthesetwobranchesofmyvision——thatofthetermsoftheirintercourse,orthatoftheirneedofit——waslikelytoprove,indelectableretrospect,themoreexquisite。Allthis,Iadmit,wasagooddealtohavecomeandgonewhilemyprivilegetrembled,initsveryessence,inthescale。Mrs。Brisshadbutabacktoturn,andeverythingwasover。Shehad,instrictness,alreadyutteredwhatsavedherhonour,andherrevengeonimpertinencemighteasilybeherwithdrawingwithoneofhersweeps。Icouldn’tcertainlyinthatcasehurryafterherwithoutspillingmycards。Asmyaccumulationsoflucidity,however,werenowsuchastodefyallleakage,Ipromptlyrecognisedthefacilitiesinvolvedinasuperficialsacrifice;andwithonemoreglanceatthebeautifulfactthatsheknewthestrengthofLong’shand,Iagainwentsteadilyandstraight。
Shewasactingnotonlyforherself,andsinceshehadanotheralsotoserveand,asIwassure,reportto,Ishouldsufficientlyholdher。I
knewmoreoverthatIheldherassoonasIhadbegunafresh。"Idon’tmeanthatanythingaltersthefactthatyoulosegracefully。ItISawfullycharming,yourthusgivingyourselfup,andyet,justifiedasIambyit,Ican’thelpregrettingalittletheexcitementIfounditthismorningtopulladifferentwayfromyou。ShallItellyou,"itsuddenlycametometoputtoher,"what,forsomereason,amanfeelsawareof?"Andthenas,guarded,stilluneasy,shewouldcommitherselftonopermission:"Thatpullingagainstyoualsohaditsthrill。Youdefendedyourcause。Oh,"
Iquicklyadded,"Iknow——whoshouldknowbetter?——thatitwasbad。Only——whatshallIsay?——YOUweren’tbad,andonehadtofight。Andthentherewaswhatonewasfightingfor!Well,you’renotbadnow,either;sothatyoumayaskme,ofcourse,whatmoreIwant。"Itriedtothinkamoment。"Itisn’tthat,thrownbackonthecomparativedullnessofsecurity,Ifind——aspeoplehavebeenknownto——myowncauselessgood:no,itisn’tthat。"
AfterwhichIhadmyillumination。"I’lltellyouwhatitis:it’sthecome—downofceasingtoworkwithyou!"
Shelookedasifshewerequiteexcusablefornotfollowingme。"To’work’?"
Iimmediatelyexplained。"Evenfightingwasworking,forwestruck,you’llremember,sparks,andsparkswerewhatwewanted。Therewearethen,"
Icheerfullywenton。"Sparksarewhatwestillwant,andyou’venotcometome,Itrust,withamerespentmatch。Idependuponitthatyou’veanothertostrike。"IshowedherwithoutfearallItookforgranted。"Who,then,HAS?"
Shewassuperbinhercoldness,butherstarewaspartlyblank。"Whothenhaswhat?"
"Why,doneit。"Andasevenatthisshedidn’tlightIgavehersomethingofajog。"Youhaven’t,withtheforceofyourrevulsion,Ihope,literallylostourthread。"Butas,inspiteofmythuswaitingforhertopickitupshedidnothing,Iofferedmyselfasfairlystoopingtothecarpetforitandputtingitbackinherhand。"Donewhatwespentthemorningwonderingat。Whothen,ifitisn’t,certainly,Mrs。Server,ISthewomanwhohasmadeGilbertLong——well,whatyouknow?"
Ihadneededthemomenttotakeinthespecialshadeofinnocenceshewasbythistimepreparedtoshowme。Itwasaninnocence,inparticular,inrespecttotherelationofanyone,inallthevastimproprietyofthings,toanyone。"I’mafraidIknownothing。"
Ireallywonderedaninstanthowshecouldexpecthelpfromsuchextravagance。
"ButIthoughtyoujustrecognisedthatyoudoenjoythesenseofyourpardonablemistake。Youknewsomethingwhenyouknewenoughtoseeyouhadmadeit。"
Shefacedmeaswiththefrankperceptionthat,ofwhateverelseonemightbeaware,Iaboundedintraps,andthatthiswouldprobablybeoneofmyworst。"Oh,Ithinkonegenerallyknowswhenonehasmadeamistake。"
"That’sallthenIinviteyou——Amistake,asyouproperlycallit——toallowmetoimputetoyou。I’mnotaccusingyouofhavingmadefifty。Youmadenonewhatever,Ihold,whenyouagreedwithmewithsucheagernessaboutthestrikingchangeinhim。"
Sheaffectedmeasaskingherselfalittle,onthis,whethervagueness,thefailureofmemory,therejectionofnonsense,mightn’tstillserveher。Butshesawthenextmomentabetterway。Itallcamebacktoher,butfromsoveryfaroff。"Thechange,doyoumean,inpoorMr。Long?"
"Ofwhatotherchange——except,asyoumaysay,yourown——haveyoumetmeheretospeakof?Yourown,Ineedn’tremindyou,ispartandparcelofLong’s。"
"Oh,myown,"shepresentlyreturned,"isamuchsimplermattereventhanthat。MyownistherecognitionthatIjustexpressedtoyouandthatIcan’tconsent,ifyouplease,toyourtwistingintotherecognitionofanythingelse。It’stherecognitionthatIknownothingofanyotherchange。
Istick,ifyou’llallowme,tomyignorance。"
"I’llallowyouwithjoy,"Ilaughed,"ifyou’llletmesticktoitWITHyou。Yourownchangeisquitesufficient——itgivesusallweneed。
Itwillgiveus,ifweretracethestepsofit,everything,everything!"
Mrs。Brissconsidered。"Idon’tquitesee,doI?why,atthishourofthenight,weshouldbegintoretracesteps。"
"Simplybecauseit’sthehourofthenightyou’vehappened,inyourgenerosityandyourdiscretion,tochoose。I’mstruck,Iconfess,"Ideclaredwithastillsharperconviction,"withthewonderfulcharmofitforourpurpose。"
"And,pray,whatdoyoucallwithsuchsolemnity,"sheinquired,"ourpurpose?"
Ihadfairlyrecoveredatlast——sofarfrombeingsolemn——anappropriategaiety。"Icanonly,withpositiveness,answerformine!Thathasremainedalldaythesame——togetatthetruth:not,thatis,torelaxmygraspofthattipofthetailofitwhichyousohelpedmethismorningtofastento。Ifyou’veceasedtoCAREtohelpme,"Ipursued,"that’sadifferenceindeed。Butwhy,"Icandidly,pleadinglyasked,"SHOULDyouceasetocare?"
Itwasmoreandmoreofacomforttofeelherimprisonedinherinabilityreallytoexplainherbeingthere。Toshowherselfasshewasexplaineditonlysofarasshecouldexpressthat;whichwasjustthefreedomshecouldleasttake。"Whatonearthisbetweenus,anyhow,"Iinsisted,"butourconfoundedinterest?That’sonlyquickened,forme,don’tyousee?
bythecharmingwayyou’vecomeround;andIdon’tseehowitcanlogicallybeanythinglessthanquickenedforyourself。We’relikethemessengersandheraldsinthetaleofCinderella,andIprotest,Iassureyou,againstanysacrificeofourdenoument。We’vestilltheglassshoetofit。"
Itookpleasureatthemomentinmymetaphor;butthiswasnotthecase,Isoonenoughperceived,withmycompanion。"HowcanItell,please,"shedemanded,"whatyouconsideryou’retalkingabout?"
Ismiled;itwassoquitethequestionFordObert,inthesmoking—room,hadbegunbyputtingme。Ihadn’ttotaketimetoremindmyselfhowIhaddealtwithHIM。"Andyouknew,"Isighed,"sobeautifully,youglowedoveritso,thismorning!"Shecontinuedtogiveme,ineveryway,herdisconnectionfromthismorning,sothatIhadonlytoproceed:"You’venotavailedyourselfofthisoccasiontopretendtomethatpoorMr。Long,asyoucallhim,is,afterall,thesamelimitedperson——"
"Thathealwayswas,andthatyou,yesterday,sosuddenlydiscoveredhimtohaveceasedtobe?"——forwiththisshehadwakedup。Butshewasstillthinkinghowshecouldturnit。"Youseetoomuch。"
"Oh,IknowIdo——eversomuchtoomuch。AndmuchasIsee,Iexpressonlyhalfofit——soyoumayjudge!"Ilaughed。"Butwhatwillyouhave?
IseewhatIsee,andthismorning,foragoodbit,youdidmethehonourtodothesame。Ireturned,also,thecompliment,didn’tI?byseeingsomethingofwhatYOUsaw。Weputit,thewholething,together,andweshookthebottlehard。I’mtotakefromyou,afterthis,"Iwoundup,"thatwhatitcontainsisaperfectlycolourlessfluid?"
Ipausedforareply,butitwasnottocomesohappilyasfromObert。
"Youtalktoomuch!"saidMrs。Briss。
Imetitwithamazement。"Why,whomhaveItold?"
Ilookedathersohardwithitthathercolourbegantorise,whichmademepromptlyfeelthatshewouldn’tpressthatpoint。"Imeanyou’recarriedaway——you’reabusedbyafinefancy:sothat,withyourartofputtingthings,onedoesn’tknowwhereoneis——nor,ifyou’llallowmetosayso,doIquitethinkYOUalwaysdo。OfcourseIdon’tdenyyou’reawfullyclever。Butyoubuildup,"shebroughtoutwitharegretsoindulgentandareluctancesomarkedthatsheforsomesecondsfairlyheldtheblow——"youbuilduphousesofcards。"
Ihadbeenimpatienttolearnwhat,and,frankly,Iwasdisappointed。
Thisbrokefromme,afteraninstant,doubtless,withabitternessnottobemistaken。"LongISN’Twhatheseems?"
"Seemstowhom?"sheaskedsturdily。
"Well,callit——forsimplicity——toME。Foryousee"——andIspokeastoshowWHATitwastosee——"itallstandsorfallsbythat。"
Theexplanationpresentlyappearedalittletohavesoftenedher。IfitallstoodorfellonlybyTHAT,itstoodorfellbysomethingthat,forhercomfort,mightbenotsounsuccessfullydisposedof。Sheexhaled,withtheswellofherfineperson,acomparativeblandness——seemedtoplaywiththeideaofasmile。Shehad,inshort,herownexplanation。"Thetroublewithyouisthatyouover—estimatethepenetrationofothers。Howcanitapproachyourown?"
"Well,yourshadforawhile,Ishouldsay,distinctmomentsofkeepingupwithit。Nothingismorepossible,"Iwenton,"thanthatIdotalktoomuch;butI’vedoneso——aboutthequestionindisputebetweenus——onlytoYOU。Ihaven’t,asIconceivedwewereabsolutelynottodo,mentionedittoanyoneelse,norgivenanyoneaglimpseofourdifference。Ifyou’venotunderstoodyourselfaspledgedtothesamereserve,andhaveconsequently,"
Iwenton,"appealedtothelightofotherwisdom,itshowsatleastthat,inspiteofmyintellectualpace,youmustmoreorlesshavefollowedme。
WhatamINOT,infine,tothinkofyourintelligence,"Iasked,"if,decidingforaresorttoheadquarters,you’veputthequestiontoLonghimself?"
"Thequestion?"Shewasstraightouttoseaagain。
"Oftheidentityofthelady。"
Sheslowly,atthis,headedabout。"ToLonghimself?"
Chapter13
IhadfeltIcouldrisksuchdirectnessonlybymakingitextravagant——bysuggestingitasbarelyimaginablethatshecouldsohaveplayedourgame;
andduringtheinstantforwhichIhadnowpulledherupIcouldjudgeIhadbeenright。Itwasaninstantthatsettledeverything,forIsawher,withintensity,withgallantrytoo,surprisedbutnotreallyembarrassed,recognisethatofcourseshemustsimplylie。Ihadbeenjustifiedbymakingitsopossibleforhertolie。"Itwouldhavebeenashortcut,"Isaid,"andevenmorestrikinglyperhaps——todoitjustice——abolddeed。Butitwouldhavebeen,instrictness,adeparture——wouldn’tit?——fromoursodistinguishedlittlecompact。YetwhileIlookatyou,"Iwenton,"Iwonder。
Bolddeedsare,afterall,quiteinyourline;andI’mnotsureIdon’tratherwantnottohavemissedsomuchpossiblecomedy。’IhaveitforyoufromMr。Longhimselfthat,everyappearancetothecontrarynotwithstanding,hisstupidityisunimpaired’——isn’tthat,forthebeautyofit,afterall,whatyou’veveraciouslytogiveme?"Westoodfacetofaceamoment,andIlaughedout。"Thebeautyofitwouldbegreat!"
Ihadgivenhertime;Ihadseenhersafelytoshore。ItwasquitewhatIhadmeanttodo,butshenowtookstillbetteradvantagethanIhadexpectedofheropportunity。Shenotonlyscrambledupthebank,sherecoveredbreathandturnedround。"Doyouimaginehewouldhavetoldme?"
Itwasmagnificent,butIfeltshewasstilltobetteritshouldIgiveheranewchance。"Whotheladyreallyis?Well,hardly;andthat’swhy,asyousoacutelysee,thequestionofyourhavingriskedsuchastephasoccurredtomeonlyasajest。Fancyindeed"——Ipileditup——"yoursayingtohim:’We’reallnoticingthatyou’resomuchlessofanidiotthanyouusedtobe,andwe’vedifferentviewsofthemiracle’!"
Ihadbeengoingon,butIwascheckedwithoutawordfromher。Herlookalonediditfor,thoughitwasalookthatpartlyspoiledherlie,it——bythatveryfact——sufficedtomyconfidence。"I’venotspokentoacreature。"
Itwasbeautifullysaid,butIfeltagaintheabyssesthatthemeresayingofitcovered,andthesenseofthesewonderfulthingswasnotalittle,nodoubt,inmyimmediatecheer。"Ah,then,we’reallright!"I
couldhaverubbedmyhandsoverit。"Imean,however,"Iquicklyadded,"onlyasfarasthat。Idon’tatallfeelcomfortableaboutyournewtheoryitself,whichputsmesowretchedlyinthewrong。"
"Rather!"saidMrs。Brissalmostgaily。"Wretchedlyindeedinthewrong!"
"Yetonly——equallyofcourse,"Ireturnedafterabriefbrooding,"ifIcomewithinaconceivabilityofacceptingit。Areyouconsciousthat,indefaultofLong’sownwordequivocalasthatwordwouldbe——youpressituponmewithouttheleastotherguarantee?"
"Andpray,"sheasked,"whatguaranteehadYOU?"
"Forthetheorywithwhichwestarted?Why,ourrecognisedfact。Thechangeintheman。Youmaysay,"Ipursued,"thatIwasthefirsttospeakforhim;butbeingthefirstdidn’t,inyourview,constituteaweaknesswhenitcametoyourspeakingyourselfforMrs。Server。BywhichImean,"
Iadded,"speakingagainsther。"
Sheremembered,butnotformybenefit。"Well,youthenaskedmemywarrant。AndasregardsMr。LongandyourspeakingagainstHIM——"
"DoyoudescribewhatIsayas’against’him?"Iimmediatelybrokein。
Ittookherbutaninstant。"Surely——tohavemadehimouthorrid。"
Icouldonlywanttofixit。"’Horrid’——?"