"Yes,hewillhavesomebeef—tea,"shesaidquietly,lookingupatme。
"Untilhishearinggoesweshallbeabletocommunicatewithhim。Andafterthat——"
Shelookedatmequeerly。Isawherlipstremblingandthetearsswimmingupinhereyes。SheswayedtowardmeandIcaughtherinmyarms。
"Oh,Humphrey,"shesobbed,"whenwillitallend?Iamsotired,sotired。"
Sheburiedherheadonmyshoulder,herfrailformshakenwithastormofweeping。Shewaslikeafeatherinmyarms,soslender,soethereal。
"Shehasbrokendownatlast,"Ithought。"WhatcanIdowithoutherhelp?"
ButIsoothedandcomfortedher,tillshepulledherselfbravelytogetherandrecuperatedmentallyasquicklyasshewaswonttodophysically。
"Ioughttobeashamedofmyself,"shesaid。Thenadded,withthewhimsicalsmileIadored,"butIamonlyonesmallwoman。"
Thatphrase,the"onesmallwoman,"startledmelikeanelectricshock。
Itwasmyownphrase,mypet,secretphrase,mylovephraseforher。
"Wheredidyougetthatphrase?"Idemanded,withanabruptnessthatinturnstartledher。
"Whatphrase?"sheasked。
"Onesmallwoman。"
"Isityours?"sheasked。
"Yes,"Ianswered,"mine。Imadeit。"
"Thenyoumusthavetalkedinyoursleep,"shesmiled。
Thedancing,tremulouslightwasinhereyes。Mine,Iknew,werespeakingbeyondthewillofmyspeech。Ileanedtowardher。WithoutvolitionIleanedtowardher,asatreeisswayedbythewind。Ah,wewereveryclosetogetherinthatmoment。Butsheshookherhead,asonemightshakeoffsleeporadream,saying:
"Ihaveknownitallmylife。Itwasmyfather’snameformymother。"
"Itismyphrase,too,"Isaidstubbornly。
"Foryourmother?"
"No,"Ianswered,andshequestionednofurther,thoughIcouldhaveswornhereyesretainedforsometimeamocking,teasingexpression。
Withtheforemastin,theworknowwentonapace。AlmostbeforeIknewit,andwithoutoneserioushitch,Ihadthemainmaststepped。Aderrick—boom,riggedtotheforemast,hadaccomplishedthis;andseveraldaysmorefoundallstaysandshroudsinplace,andeverythingsetuptaut。Topsailswouldbeanuisanceandadangerforacrewoftwo,soIheavedthetopmastsondeckandlashedthemfast。
Severalmoredayswereconsumedinfinishingthesailsandputtingthemon。Therewereonlythree——thejib,foresail,andmainsail;and,patched,shortened,anddistorted,theywerearidiculouslyill—fittingsuitforsotrimacraftastheGhost。
"Butthey’llwork!"Maudcriedjubilantly。"We’llmakethemwork,andtrustourlivestothem!"
Certainly,amongmymanynewtrades,Ishoneleastasasail—maker。
Icouldsailthembetterthanmakethem,andIhadnodoubtofmypowertobringtheschoonertosomenorthernportofJapan。Infact,Ihadcrammednavigationfromtext—booksaboard;andbesides,therewasWolfLarsen’sstar—scale,sosimpleadevicethatachildcouldworkit。
Asforitsinventor,beyondanincreasingdeafnessandthemovementofthelipsgrowingfainterandfainter,therehadbeenlittlechangeinhisconditionforaweek。Butonthedaywefinishedbendingtheschooner’ssails,heheardhislast,andthelastmovementofhislipsdiedaway——
butnotbeforeIhadaskedhim,"Areyouallthere?"andthelipshadanswered,"Yes。"
Thelastlinewasdown。Somewherewithinthattombofthefleshstilldweltthesouloftheman。Walledbythelivingclay,thatfierceintelligencewehadknownburnedon;butitburnedoninsilenceanddarkness。Anditwasdisembodied。Tothatintelligencetherecouldbenoobjectiveknowledgeofabody。Itknewnobody。Theveryworldwasnot。Itknewonlyitselfandthevastnessandprofundityofthequietandthedark。TheSeaWolf:Chapter39CHAPTER39
Thedaycameforourdeparture。TherewasnolongeranythingtodetainusonEndeavorIsland。TheGhost’sstumpymastswereinplace,hercrazysailsbent。Allmyhandiworkwasstrong,noneofitbeautiful;butIknewthatitwouldwork,andIfeltmyselfamanofpowerasIlookedatit。
"Ididit!Ididit!WithmyownhandsIdidit!"Iwantedtocryaloud。
ButMaudandIhadawayofvoicingeachother’sthoughts,andshesaid,aswepreparedtohoistthemainsail:
"Tothink,Humphrey,youdiditallwithyourownhands!"
"Butthereweretwootherhands,"Ianswered。"Twosmallhands,anddon’tsaythatwasaphrase,also,ofyourfather。"
Shelaughedandshookherhead,andheldherhandsupforinspection。
"Icannevergetthemcleanagain,"shewailed,"norsoftentheweather—beat。"
"Thendirtandweather—beatshallbeyourguerdonofhonor,"said,holdingtheminmine;and,spiteofmyresolutions,Iwouldhavekissedthetwodearhandshadshenotswiftlywithdrawnthem。
Ourcomradeshipwasbecomingtremulous。Ihadmasteredmylovelongandwell,butnowitwasmasteringme。Wilfullyhaditdisobeyedandwonmyeyestospeech,andnowitwaswinningmytongue——ay,andmylips,fortheyweremadthismomenttokissthetwosmallhandswhichhadtoiledsofaithfullyandhard。AndI,too,wasmad。Therewasacryinmybeinglikebuglescallingmetoher。AndtherewasawindblowinguponmewhichIcouldnotresist,swayingtheverybodyofmetillIleanedtowardher,allunconsciousthatIleaned。Andsheknewit。Shecouldnotbutknowitassheswiftlydrewawayherhands,andyetcouldnotforbearonequick,searchinglookbeforesheturnedawayhereyes。
Bymeansofdeck—tacklesIhadarrangedtocarrythehalyardsforwardtothewindlass;andnowIhoistedthemainsail,peakandthroat,atthesametime。Itwasaclumsyway,butitdidnottakelong,andsoontheforesailaswellwasupandfluttering。
"Wecannevergetthatanchorupinthisnarrowplace,onceithasleftthebottom,"Isaid。"Weshouldbeontherocksfirst。"
"Whatcanyoudo?"sheasked。
"Slipit,"wasmyanswer。"AndwhenIdo,youmustdoyourfirstworkonthewindlass。Ishallhavetorunatoncetothewheel,andatthesametimeyoumustbehoistingthejib。"
Thisman渦vreofgettingunderwayIhadstudiedandworkedoutascoreoftimes;and,withthejib—halyardtothewindlass,IknewMaudwascapableofhoistingthatmostnecessarysail。Abriskwindwasblowingintothecove,andthoughthewaterwascalm,rapidworkwasrequiredtogetussafelyout。
WhenIknockedtheshackle—boltloose,thechainroaredoutthroughthehawse—holeandintothesea。Iracedaft,puttingthewheelup。TheGhostseemedtostartintolifeassheheeledtothefirstfillofhersails。Thejibwasrising。Asitfilled,theGhost’sbowswungoffandIhadtoputthewheeldownafewspokesandsteadyher。
Ihaddevisedanautomaticjib—sheetwhichpassedthejibacrossofitself,sotherewasnoneedforMaudtoattendtothat;butshewasstillhoistingthejibwhenIputthewheelharddown。Itwasamomentofanxiety,fortheGhostwasrushingdirectlyuponthebeach,astone’sthrowdistant。Butsheswungobedientlyonherheelintothewind。Therewasagreatflutteringandflappingofcanvasandreef—points,mostwelcometomyears,thenshefilledawayontheothertack。
Maudhadfinishedhertaskandcomeaft,whereshestoodbesideme,asmallcapperchedonherwind—blownhair,hercheeksflushedfromexertion,hereyeswideandbrightwiththeexcitement,hernostrilsquiveringtotherushandbiteofthefreshsaltair。Herbrowneyeswerelikeastartleddeer’s。Therewasawild,keenlookinthemIhadneverseenbefore,andherlipspartedandherbreathsuspendedastheGhost,charginguponthewallofrockattheentrancetotheinnercove,sweptintothewindandfilledawayintosafewater。
Myfirstmate’sberthonthesealinggroundsstoodmeingoodstead,andIclearedtheinnercoveandlaidalongtackalongtheshoreoftheoutercove。Onceagainabout,andtheGhostheadedouttoopensea。
Shehadnowcaughtthebosom—breathingoftheocean,andwasherselfa—breathwiththerhythmofitasshesmoothlymountedandslippeddowneachbroad—backedwave。Thedayhadbeendullandovercast,butthesunnowburstthroughtheclouds,awelcomeomen,andshoneuponthecurvingbeachwheretogetherwehaddaredthelordsoftheharemandslaintheholluschickie。AllEndeavorIslandbrightenedunderthesun。Eventhegrimsouthwesternpromontoryshowedlessgrim,andhereandthere,wherethesea—spraywetitssurface,highlightsflashedanddazzledinthesun。
"Ishallalwaysthinkofitwithpride,"IsaidtoMaud。
Shethrewherheadbackinaqueenlyway,butsaid,"Dear,dearEndeavorIsland!Ishallalwaysloveit。"
"AndI,"Isaidquickly。
Itseemedoureyesmustmeetinagreatunderstanding,andyet,loath,theystruggledawayanddidnotmeet。
TherewasasilenceImightalmostcallawkward,tillIbrokeit,saying:
"Seethoseblackcloudstowindward。Youremember,Itoldyoulastnightthebarometerwasfalling。"
"Andthesunisgone,"shesaid,hereyesstillfixeduponourisland,wherewehadprovedourmasteryovermatterandattainedtothetruestcomradeshipthatmayfalltomanandwoman。
"Andit’sslackoffthesheetsforJapan!"Icriedgayly。"Afairwindandaflowingsheet,youknow,orhoweveritgoes。"
Lashingthewheel,Iranforward,easedtheforeandmainsheets,tookinontheboom—tackles,andtrimmedeverythingforthequarteringbreezewhichwasours。Itwasafreshbreeze,veryfresh,butIresolvedtorunaslongasIdared。Unfortunately,whenrunningfree,itisimpossibletolashthewheel,soIfacedanall—nightwatch。Maudinsistedonrelievingme,butprovedthatshehadnotthestrengthtosteerinaheavysea,evenifshecouldhavegainedthewisdomonsuchshortnotice。Sheappearedquiteheart—brokenoverthediscovery,butrecoveredherspiritsbycoilingdowntacklesandhalyardsandallstrayropes。Thenthereweremealstobecookedinthegalley,bedstomake,WolfLarsentobeattendedupon,andshefinishedthedaywithagrandhouse—cleaningattackuponthecabinandsteerage。
AllnightIsteered,withoutrelief,thewindslowlyandsteadilyincreasingandthesearising。AtfiveinthemorningMaudbroughtmehotcoffeeandbiscuitsshehadbaked,andatsevenasubstantialandpipinghotbreakfastputnewlifeintome。
Throughouttheday,andasslowlyandsteadilyasever,thewindincreased。
Itimpressedonewithitssullendeterminationtoblow,andblowharder,andkeeponblowing。AndstilltheGhostfoamedalong,racingoffthemilestillIwascertainshewasmakingatleastelevenknots。Itwastoogoodtolose,butbynightfallIwasexhausted。Thoughinsplendidphysicaltrim,athirty—six—hourtrickatthewheelwasthelimitofmyendurance。Besides,Maudbeggedmetoheaveto,andIknew,ifthewindandseaincreasedatthesamerateduringthenight,thatitwouldsoonbeimpossibletoheaveto。So,astwilightdeepened,gladlyandatthesametimereluctantly,IbroughttheGhostuponthewind。
ButIhadnotreckoneduponthecolossaltaskthereefingofthreesailsmeantforoneman。WhilerunningawayfromthewindIhadnotappreciateditsforce,butwhenweceasedtorunIlearnedtomysorrow,andwell—nightomydespair,howfiercelyitwasreallyblowing。Thewindbalkedmyeveryeffort,rippingthecanvasoutofmyhandsandinaninstantundoingwhatIhadgainedbytenminutesofsevereststruggle。Ateighto’clockIhadsucceededonlyinputtingthesecondreefintotheforesail。Ateleveno’clockIwasnofartheralong。Blooddrippedfromeveryfingerend,whilethenailswerebrokentothequick。FrompainandsheerexhaustionIweptinthedarkness,secretly,sothatMaudshouldnotknow。
Then,indesperation,Iabandonedtheattempttoreefthemainsailandresolvedtotrytheexperimentofheavingtoundertheclose—reefedforesail。
Threehoursmorewererequiredtogasketthemainsailandjib,andattwointhemorning,nearlydead,thelifealmostbuffetedandworkedoutofme,Ihadbarelysufficientconsciousnesstoknowtheexperimentwasasuccess。Theclose—reefedforesailworked。TheGhostclungonclosetothewindandbetrayednoinclinationtofalloffbroadsidetothetrough。
Iwasfamished,butMaudtriedvainlytogetmetoeat。dozedwithmymouthfulloffood。Iwouldfallasleepintheactofcarryingfoodtomymouthandwakenintormenttofindtheactyetuncompleted。SosleepilyhelplesswasIthatshewascompelledtoholdmeinmychairtopreventmybeingflungtothefloorbytheviolentpitchingoftheschooner。
OfthepassagefromthegalleytothecabinIknewnothing。Itwasasleep—walkerMaudguidedandsupported。Infact,IwasawareofnothingtillIawoke,howlongafterIcouldnotimagine,inmybunkwithmybootsoff。Itwasdark。Iwasstiffandlame,andcriedoutwithpainwhenthebed—clothestouchedmypoorfinger—ends。
Morninghadevidentlynotcome,soIclosedmyeyesandwenttosleepagain。Ididnotknowit,butIhadslepttheclockaroundanditwasnightagain。
OncemoreIwoke,troubledbecauseIcouldsleepnobetter。struckamatchandlookedatmywatch。Itmarkedmidnight。AndIhadnotleftthedeckuntilthree!IshouldhavebeenpuzzledhadInotguessedthesolution。
NowonderIwassleepingbrokenly。Ihadslepttwenty—onehours。IlistenedforawhiletothebehavioroftheGhost,tothepoundingoftheseasandthemuffledroarofthewindondeck,andthenturnedoveronmysideandsleptpeacefullyuntilmorning。
WhenIaroseatsevenIsawnosignofMaudandconcludedshewasinthegalleypreparingbreakfast。OndeckIfoundtheGhostdoingsplendidlyunderherpatchofcanvas。Butinthegalley,thoughafirewasburningandwaterboiling,IfoundnoMaud。
Idiscoveredherinthesteerage,byWolfLarsen’sbunk。lookedathim,themanwhohadbeenhurleddownfromthetopmostpitchoflifetobeburiedaliveandbeworsethandead。Thereseemedarelaxationofhisexpressionlessfacewhichwasnew。MaudlookedatmeandIunderstood。
"Hislifeflickeredoutinthestorm,"Isaid。
"Buthestilllives,"sheanswered,infinitefaithinhervoice。
"Hehadtoogreatstrength。"
"Yes,"shesaid,"butnowitnolongershackleshim。Heisafreespirit。"
"Heisafreespiritsurely,"Ianswered;and,takingherhand,Iledherondeck。
Thestormbrokethatnight,whichistosaythatitdiminishedasslowlyasithadarisen。Afterbreakfastnextmorning,whenIhadhoistedWolfLarsen’sbodyondeckreadyforburial,itwasstillblowingheavilyandalargeseawasrunning。Thedeckwascontinuallyawashwiththeseawhichcameinboardovertherailandthroughthescuppers。Thewindsmotetheschoonerwithasuddengust,andsheheeledovertillherleerailwasburied,theroarinherriggingrisinginpitchtoashriek。WestoodinthewatertoourkneesasIbaredmyhead。
"Irememberonlyonepartoftheservice,"Isaid,"andthatis,`Andthebodyshallbecastintothesea。’"
Maudlookedatme,surprisedandshocked;butthespiritofsomethingIhadseenbeforewasstronguponme,impellingmetogiveservicetoWolfLarsenasWolfLarsenhadoncegivenservicetoanotherman。Iliftedtheendofthehatchcover,andthecanvas—shroudedbodyslippedfeetfirstintothesea。Theweightofirondraggeditdown。Itwasgone。
"Good—by,Lucifer,proudspirit,"Maudwhispered,solowthatitwasdrownedbytheshoutingofthewind;butIsawthemovementofherlipsandknew。
Asweclungtotheleerailandworkedourwayaft,Ihappenedtoglancetoleeward。TheGhost,atthemoment,wasuptossedonasea,andIcaughtaclearviewofasmallsteamshiptwoorthreemilesaway,rollingandpitching,headontothesea,asitsteamedtowardus。Itwaspaintedblack,andfromthetalkofthehuntersoftheirpoachingexploitsIrecognizeditasaUnitedStatesrevenuecutter。IpointeditouttoMaudandhurriedlyledherafttothesafetyofthepoop。
Istartedtorushbelowtotheflag—locker,thenrememberedthatinriggingtheGhostIhadforgottentomakeprovisionforaflag—halyard。
"Weneednodistresssignal,"Maudsaid。"Theyhaveonlytoseeus。"
"Wearesaved,"Isaid,soberlyandsolemnly。Andthen,inanexuberanceofjoy,"Ihardlyknowwhethertobegladornot。"
Ilookedather。Oureyeswerenotloathtomeet。Weleanedtowardeachother,andbeforeIknewitmyarmswereabouther。
"NeedI?"Iasked。
Andsheanswered,"Thereisnoneed,thoughthetellingofitwouldbesweet,sosweet。"
Herlipsmetthepressofmine,and,bywhatstrangetrickoftheimaginationIknownot,thesceneinthecabinoftheGhostflasheduponme,whenshehadpressedherfingerslightlyonmylipsandsaid,"Hush,hush。"
"Mywoman,myonesmallwoman,"Isaid,myfreehandpettinghershoulderinthewayallloversknowthoughneverlearninschool。
"Myman,"shesaid,lookingatmeforaninstantwithtremulouslidswhichfluttereddownandveiledhereyesasshesnuggledherheadagainstmybreastwithahappylittlesigh。
Ilookedtowardthecutter。Itwasveryclose。Aboatwasbeinglowered。
"Onekiss,dearlove,"Iwhispered。"Onekissmorebeforetheycome。"
"Andrescueusfromourselves,"shecompleted,withamostadorablesmile,whimsicalasIhadneverseenit,foritwaswhimsicalwithlove。