Shelookedathim,ashestoodneartheothersideofthebed。Hiscapwaspulledlowoverhisbrow,hisblackovercoatwasbuttonedcloseuptohischin。Hisfacewasstrangeandluminous。Hewasinevitableasasupernaturalbeing。Whenshehadseenhim,sheknew。Sheknewtherewassomethingfatalinthesituation,andshemustacceptit。Yetshemustchallengehim。
`Howdidyoucomeup?'sheasked。
`Iwalkedupthestairs——thedoorwasopen。'
Shelookedathim。
`Ihaven'tclosedthisdoor,either,'hesaid。Shewalkedswiftlyacrosstheroom,andclosedherdoor,softly,andlockedit。Thenshecameback。
Shewaswonderful,withstartledeyesandflushedcheeks,andherplaitofhairrathershortandthickdownherback,andherlong,finewhitenight—dressfallingtoherfeet。
Shesawthathisbootswereallclayey,evenhistrouserswereplasteredwithclay。Andshewonderedifhehadmadefootprintsallthewayup。Hewasaverystrangefigure,standinginherbedroom,nearthetossedbed。
`Whyhaveyoucome?'sheasked,almostquerulous。
`Iwantedto,'hereplied。
Andthisshecouldseefromhisface。Itwasfate。
`Youaresomuddy,'shesaid,indistaste,butgently。
Helookeddownathisfeet。
`Iwaswalkinginthedark,'hereplied。Buthefeltvividlyelated。
Therewasapause。Hestoodononesideofthetumbledbed,sheontheother。Hedidnoteventakehiscapfromhisbrows。
`Andwhatdoyouwantofme,'shechallenged。
Helookedaside,anddidnotanswer。Savefortheextremebeautyandmysticattractivenessofthisdistinct,strangeface,shewouldhavesenthimaway。Buthisfacewastoowonderfulandundiscoveredtoher。Itfascinatedherwiththefascinationofpurebeauty,castaspellonher,likenostalgia,anache。
`Whatdoyouwantofme?'sherepeatedinanestrangedvoice。
Hepulledoffhiscap,inamovementofdream—liberation,andwentacrosstoher。Buthecouldnottouchher,becauseshestoodbarefootinhernight—dress,andhewasmuddyanddamp。Hereyes,wideandlargeandwondering,watchedhim,andaskedhimtheultimatequestion。
`Icame——becauseImust,'hesaid。`Whydoyouask?'
Shelookedathimindoubtandwonder。
`Imustask,'shesaid。
Heshookhisheadslightly。
`Thereisnoanswer,'hereplied,withstrangevacancy。
Therewasabouthimacurious,andalmostgodlikeairofsimplicityandnativedirectness。Heremindedherofanapparition,theyoungHermes。
`Butwhydidyoucometome?'shepersisted。
`Because——ithastobeso。Ifthereweren'tyouintheworld,thenIshouldn'tbeintheworld,either。'
Shestoodlookingathim,withlarge,wide,wondering,strickeneyes。
Hiseyeswerelookingsteadilyintohersallthetime,andheseemedfixedinanoddsupernaturalsteadfastness。Shesighed。Shewaslostnow。Shehadnochoice。
`Won'tyoutakeoffyourboots,'shesaid。`Theymustbewet。'
Hedroppedhiscaponachair,unbuttonedhisovercoat,liftinguphischintounfastenthethroatbuttons。Hisshort,keenhairwasruffled。
Hewassobeautifullyblond,likewheat。Hepulledoffhisovercoat。
Quicklyhepulledoffhisjacket,pulledloosehisblacktie,andwasunfasteninghisstuds,whichwereheadedeachwithapearl。Shelistened,watching,hopingnoonewouldhearthestarchedlinencrackle。Itseemedtosnaplikepistolshots。
Hehadcomeforvindication。Shelethimholdherinhisarms,clasphercloseagainsthim。Hefoundinheraninfiniterelief。Intoherhepouredallhispent—updarknessandcorrosivedeath,andhewaswholeagain。
Itwaswonderful,marvellous,itwasamiracle。Thiswastheeverrecurrentmiracleofhislife,attheknowledgeofwhichhewaslostinanecstasyofreliefandwonder。Andshe,subject,receivedhimasavesselfilledwithhisbitterpotionofdeath。Shehadnopoweratthiscrisistoresist。
Theterriblefrictionalviolenceofdeathfilledher,andshereceiveditinanecstasyofsubjection,inthroesofacute,violentsensation。
Ashedrewnearertoher,heplungeddeeperintoherenvelopingsoftwarmth,awonderfulcreativeheatthatpenetratedhisveinsandgavehimlifeagain。Hefelthimselfdissolvingandsinkingtorestinthebathofherlivingstrength。Itseemedasifherheartinherbreastwereasecondunconquerablesun,intotheglowandcreativestrengthofwhichheplungedfurtherandfurther。Allhisveins,thatweremurderedandlacerated,healedsoftlyaslifecamepulsingin,stealinginvisiblyintohimasifitweretheall—powerfuleffluenceofthesun。Hisblood,whichseemedtohavebeendrawnbackintodeath,cameebbingonthereturn,surely,beautifully,powerfully。
Hefelthislimbsgrowingfullerandflexiblewithlife,hisbodygainedanunknownstrength。Hewasamanagain,strongandrounded。Andhewasachild,sosoothedandrestoredandfullofgratitude。
Andshe,shewasthegreatbathoflife,heworshippedher。Motherandsubstanceofalllifeshewas。Andhe,childandman,receivedofherandwasmadewhole。Hispurebodywasalmostkilled。Butthemiraculous,softeffluenceofherbreastsuffusedoverhim,overhisseared,damagedbrain,likeahealinglymph,likeasoft,soothingflowoflifeitself,perfectasifhewerebathedinthewombagain。
Hisbrainwashurt,seared,thetissuewasasifdestroyed。Hehadnotknownhowhurthewas,howhistissue,theverytissueofhisbrainwasdamagedbythecorrosivefloodofdeath。Now,asthehealinglymphofhereffluenceflowedthroughhim,heknewhowdestroyedhewas,likeaplantwhosetissueisburstfrominwardsbyafrost。
Heburiedhissmall,hardheadbetweenherbreasts,andpressedherbreastsagainsthimwithhishands。Andshewithquiveringhandspressedhisheadagainsther,ashelaysuffusedout,andshelayfullyconscious。
Thelovelycreativewarmthfloodedthroughhimlikeasleepoffecunditywithinthewomb。Ah,ifonlyshewouldgranthimtheflowofthislivingeffluence,hewouldberestored,hewouldbecompleteagain。Hewasafraidshewoulddenyhimbeforeitwasfinished。Likeachildatthebreast,hecleavedintenselytoher,andshecouldnotputhimaway。Andhisseared,ruinedmembranerelaxed,softened,thatwhichwassearedandstiffandblastedyieldedagain,becamesoftandflexible,palpitatingwithnewlife。
Hewasinfinitelygrateful,astoGod,orasaninfantisatitsmother'sbreast。Hewasgladandgratefullikeadelirium,ashefelthisownwholenesscomeoverhimagain,ashefeltthefull,unutterablesleepcomingoverhim,thesleepofcompleteexhaustionandrestoration。
ButGudrunlaywideawake,destroyedintoperfectconsciousness。Shelaymotionless,withwideeyesstaringmotionlessintothedarkness,whilsthewassunkawayinsleep,hisarmsroundher。
Sheseemedtobehearingwavesbreakonahiddenshore,long,slow,gloomywaves,breakingwiththerhythmoffate,somonotonouslythatitseemedeternal。Thisendlessbreakingofslow,sullenwavesoffateheldherlifeapossession,whilstshelaywithdark,wideeyeslookingintothedarkness。Shecouldseesofar,asfaraseternity——yetshesawnothing。
Shewassuspendedinperfectconsciousness——andofwhatwassheconscious?
Thismoodofextremity,whenshelaystaringintoeternity,utterlysuspended,andconsciousofeverything,tothelastlimits,passedandleftheruneasy。Shehadlainsolongmotionless。Shemoved,shebecameself—conscious。Shewantedtolookathim,toseehim。
Butshedarednotmakealight,becausesheknewhewouldwake,andshedidnotwanttobreakhisperfectsleep,thatsheknewhehadgotofher。
Shedisengagedherself,softly,androseupalittletolookathim。
Therewasafaintlight,itseemedtoher,intheroom。Shecouldjustdistinguishhisfeatures,asheslepttheperfectsleep。Inthisdarkness,sheseemedtoseehimsodistinctly。Buthewasfaroff,inanotherworld。
Ah,shecouldshriekwithtorment,hewassofaroff,andperfected,inanotherworld。Sheseemedtolookathimasatapebblefarawayundercleardarkwater。Andherewasshe,leftwithalltheanguishofconsciousness,whilsthewassunkdeepintotheotherelementofmindless,remote,livingshadow—gleam。Hewasbeautiful,far—off,andperfected。Theywouldneverbetogether。Ah,thisawful,inhumandistancewhichwouldalwaysbeinterposedbetweenherandtheotherbeing!
Therewasnothingtodobuttoliestillandendure。Shefeltanoverwhelmingtendernessforhim,andadark,under—stirringofjealoushatred,thatheshouldliesoperfectandimmune,inanother—world,whilstshewastormentedwithviolentwakefulness,castoutintheouterdarkness。
Shelayinintenseandvividconsciousness,anexhaustingsuperconsciousness。
Thechurchclockstruckthehours,itseemedtoher,inquicksuccession。
Sheheardthemdistinctlyinthetensionofhervividconsciousness。Andhesleptasiftimewereonemoment,unchangingandunmoving。
Shewasexhausted,wearied。Yetshemustcontinueinthisstateofviolentactivesuperconsciousness。Shewasconsciousofeverything——herchildhood,hergirlhood,alltheforgottenincidents,alltheunrealisedinfluencesandallthehappeningsshehadnotunderstood,pertainingtoherself,toherfamily,toherfriends,herlovers,heracquaintances,everybody。Itwasasifshedrewaglitteringropeofknowledgeoutoftheseaofdarkness,drewanddrewanddrewitoutofthefathomlessdepthsofthepast,andstillitdidnotcometoanend,therewasnoendtoit,shemusthaulandhaulattheropeofglitteringconsciousness,pullitoutphosphorescentfromtheendlessdepthsoftheunconsciousness,tillshewasweary,aching,exhausted,andfittobreak,andyetshehadnotdone。
Ah,ifonlyshemightwakehim!Sheturneduneasily。Whencouldsherousehimandsendhimaway?Whencouldshedisturbhim?Andsherelapsedintoheractivityofautomaticconsciousness,thatwouldneverend。
Butthetimewasdrawingnearwhenshecouldwakehim。Itwaslikearelease。Theclockhadstruckfour,outsideinthenight。ThankGodthenighthadpassedalmostaway。Atfivehemustgo,andshewouldbereleased。
Thenshecouldrelaxandfillherownplace。Nowshewasdrivenupagainsthisperfectsleepingmotionlikeaknifewhite—hotonagrindstone。Therewassomethingmonstrousabouthim,abouthisjuxtapositionagainsther。
Thelasthourwasthelongest。Andyet,atlastitpassed。Herheartleaptwithrelief——yes,therewastheslow,strongstrokeofthechurchclock——atlast,afterthisnightofeternity。Shewaitedtocatcheachslow,fatalreverberation。`Three——four——five!'There,itwasfinished。
Aweightrolledoffher。
Sheraisedherself,leanedoverhimtenderly,andkissedhim。Shewassadtowakehim。Afterafewmoments,shekissedhimagain。Buthedidnotstir。Thedarling,hewassodeepinsleep!Whatashametotakehimoutofit。Shelethimliealittlelonger。Buthemustgo——hemustreallygo。
Withfullover—tendernessshetookhisfacebetweenherhands,andkissedhiseyes。Theeyesopened,heremainedmotionless,lookingather。Herheartstoodstill。Tohideherfacefromhisdreadfulopenedeyes,inthedarkness,shebentdownandkissedhim,whispering:
`Youmustgo,mylove。'
Butshewassickwithterror,sick。
Heputhisarmsroundher。Herheartsank。
`Butyoumustgo,mylove。It'slate。'
`Whattimeisit?'hesaid。
Strange,hisman'svoice。Shequivered。Itwasanintolerableoppressiontoher。
`Pastfiveo'clock,'shesaid。
Butheonlyclosedhisarmsroundheragain。Herheartcriedwithinherintorture。Shedisengagedherselffirmly。
`Youreallymustgo,'shesaid。
`Notforaminute,'hesaid。
Shelaystill,nestlingagainsthim,butunyielding。
`Notforaminute,'herepeated,claspinghercloser。
`Yes,'shesaid,unyielding,`I'mafraidifyoustayanylonger。'
Therewasacertaincoldnessinhervoicethatmadehimreleaseher,andshebrokeaway,roseandlitthecandle。Thatthenwastheend。
Hegotup。Hewaswarmandfulloflifeanddesire。Yethefeltalittlebitashamed,humiliated,puttingonhisclothesbeforeher,inthecandle—light。
Forhefeltrevealed,exposedtoher,atatimewhenshewasinsomewayagainsthim。Itwasallverydifficulttounderstand。Hedressedhimselfquickly,withoutcollarortie。Stillhefeltfullandcomplete,perfected。
Shethoughtithumiliatingtoseeamandressing:theridiculousshirt,theridiculoustrousersandbraces。Butagainanideasavedher。
`Itislikeaworkmangettinguptogotowork,'thoughtGudrun。`AndIamlikeaworkman'swife。'Butanachelikenauseawasuponher:anauseaofhim。
Hepushedhiscollarandtieintohisovercoatpocket。Thenhesatdownandpulledonhisboots。Theyweresodden,aswerehissocksandtrouser—bottoms。
Buthehimselfwasquickandwarm。
`Perhapsyououghttohaveputyourbootsondownstairs,'shesaid。
Atonce,withoutanswering,hepulledthemoffagain,andstoodholdingtheminhishand。Shehadthrustherfeetintoslippers,andflungalooseroberoundher。Shewasready。Shelookedathimashestoodwaiting,hisblackcoatbuttonedtothechin,hiscappulleddown,hisbootsinhishand。Andthepassionatealmosthatefulfascinationrevivedinherforamoment。Itwasnotexhausted。Hisfacewassowarm—looking,wide—eyedandfullofnewness,soperfect。Shefeltold,old。Shewenttohimheavily,tobekissed。Hekissedherquickly。Shewishedhiswarm,expressionlessbeautydidnotsofatallyputaspellonher,compelherandsubjugateher。Itwasaburdenuponher,thatsheresented,butcouldnotescape。
Yetwhenshelookedathisstraightman'sbrows,andathisrathersmall,well—shapednose,andathisblue,indifferenteyes,sheknewherpassionforhimwasnotyetsatisfied,perhapsnevercouldbesatisfied。Onlynowshewasweary,withanachelikenausea。Shewantedhimgone。
Theywentdownstairsquickly。Itseemedtheymadeaprodigiousnoise。
Hefollowedheras,wrappedinhervividgreenwrap,sheprecededhimwiththelight。Shesufferedbadlywithfear,lestherpeopleshouldberoused。
Hehardlycared。Hedidnotcarenowwhoknew。Andshehatedthisinhim。
Onemustbecautious。Onemustpreserveoneself。
Sheledthewaytothekitchen。Itwasneatandtidy,asthewomanhadleftit。Helookedupattheclock——twentyminutespastfiveThenhesatdownonachairtoputonhisboots。Shewaited,watchinghiseverymovement。Shewantedittobeover,itwasagreatnervousstrainonher。
Hestoodup——sheunboltedthebackdoor,andlookedout。Acold,rawnight,notyetdawn,withapieceofamooninthevaguesky。Shewasgladsheneednotgoout。
`Good—byethen,'hemurmured。
`I'llcometothegate,'shesaid。
Andagainshehurriedoninfront,towarnhimofthesteps。Andatthegate,oncemoreshestoodonthestepwhilsthestoodbelowher。
`Good—bye,'shewhispered。
Hekissedherdutifully,andturnedaway。
Shesufferedtormentshearinghisfirmtreadgoingsodistinctlydowntheroad。Ah,theinsensitivenessofthatfirmtread!
Sheclosedthegate,andcreptquicklyandnoiselesslybacktobed。
Whenshewasinherroom,andthedoorclosed,andallsafe,shebreathedfreely,andagreatweightfelloffher。Shenestleddowninbed,inthegroovehisbodyhadmade,inthewarmthhehadleft。Andexcited,worn—out,yetstillsatisfied,shefellsoonintoadeep,heavysleep。
Geraldwalkedquicklythroughtherawdarknessofthecomingdawn。Hemetnobody。Hismindwasbeautifullystillandthoughtless,likeastillpool,andhisbodyfullandwarmandrich。HewentquicklyalongtowardsShortlands,inagratefulself—sufficiency。
WomenInLove:Chapter25CHAPTERXXVMarriageorNotTHEBRANGWENfamilywasgoingtomovefromBeldover。Itwasnecessarynowforthefathertobeintown。
Birkinhadtakenoutamarriagelicence,yetUrsuladeferredfromdaytoday。Shewouldnotfixanydefinitetime——shestillwavered。Hermonth'snoticetoleavetheGrammarSchoolwasinitsthirdweek。Christmaswasnotfaroff。
GeraldwaitedfortheUrsula—Birkinmarriage。Itwassomethingcrucialtohim。
`Shallwemakeitadouble—barrelledaffair?'hesaidtoBirkinoneday。
`Whoforthesecondshot?'askedBirkin。
`Gudrunandme,'saidGerald,theventuresometwinkleinhiseyes。
Birkinlookedathimsteadily,asifsomewhattakenaback。
`Serious——orjoking?'heasked。
`Oh,serious。ShallI?ShallGudrunandIrushinalongwithyou?'
`Dobyallmeans,'saidBirkin。`Ididn'tknowyou'dgotthatlength。'
`Whatlength?'saidGerald,lookingattheotherman,andlaughing。
`Ohyes,we'vegoneallthelengths。'
`Thereremainstoputitonabroadsocialbasis,andtoachieveahighmoralpurpose,'saidBirkin。
`Somethinglikethat:thelengthandbreadthandheightofit,'repliedGerald,smiling。
`Ohwell,'saidBirkin,'it'saveryadmirablesteptotake,Ishouldsay。'
Geraldlookedathimclosely。
`Whyaren'tyouenthusiastic?'heasked。`Ithoughtyouweresuchdeadnutsonmarriage。'
Birkinliftedhisshoulders。
`Onemightaswellbedeadnutsonnoses。Thereareallsortsofnoses,snubandotherwise——'
Geraldlaughed。
`Andallsortsofmarriage,alsosnubandotherwise?'hesaid。
`That'sit。'
`AndyouthinkifImarry,itwillbesnub?'askedGeraldquizzically,hisheadalittleononeside。
Birkinlaughedquickly。
`HowdoIknowwhatitwillbe!'hesaid。`Don'tlambastemewithmyownparallels——'
Geraldponderedawhile。
`ButIshouldliketoknowyouropinion,exactly,'hesaid。
`Onyourmarriage?——ormarrying?Whyshouldyouwantmyopinion?I'vegotnoopinions。I'mnotinterestedinlegalmarriage,onewayoranother。
It'samerequestionofconvenience。'
StillGeraldwatchedhimclosely。
`Morethanthat,Ithink,'hesaidseriously。`Howeveryoumaybeboredbytheethicsofmarriage,yetreallytomarry,inone'sownpersonalcase,issomethingcritical,final——'
`Youmeanthereissomethingfinalingoingtotheregistrarwithawoman?'
`Ifyou'recomingbackwithher,Ido,'saidGerald。`Itisinsomewayirrevocable。'
`Yes,Iagree,'saidBirkin。
`Nomatterhowoneregardslegalmarriage,yettoenterintothemarriedstate,inone'sownpersonalinstance,isfinal——'
`Ibelieveitis,'saidBirkin,`somewhere。'
`Thequestionremainsthen,shouldonedoit,'saidGerald。
Birkinwatchedhimnarrowly,withamusedeyes。
`YouarelikeLordBacon,Gerald,'hesaid。`Youargueitlikealawyer——orlikeHamlet'sto—be—or—not—to—be。IfIwereyouIwouldnotmarry:butaskGudrun,notme。You'renotmarryingme,areyou?'
Geralddidnotheedthelatterpartofthisspeech。
`Yes,'hesaid,`onemustconsideritcoldly。Itissomethingcritical。
Onecomestothepointwhereonemusttakeastepinonedirectionoranother。
Andmarriageisonedirection——'
`Andwhatistheother?'askedBirkinquickly。
Geraldlookedupathimwithhot,strangely—consciouseyes,thattheothermancouldnotunderstand。
`Ican'tsay,'hereplied。`IfIknewthat——'Hemoveduneasilyonhisfeet,anddidnotfinish。
`Youmeanifyouknewthealternative?'askedBirkin。`Andsinceyoudon'tknowit,marriageisapisaller。'
GeraldlookedupatBirkinwiththesamehot,constrainedeyes。
`Onedoeshavethefeelingthatmarriageisapisaller,'headmitted。
`Thendon'tdoit,'saidBirkin。`Itellyou,'hewenton,`thesameasI'vesaidbefore,marriageintheoldsenseseemstomerepulsive。Egoismeadeuxisnothingtoit。It'sasortoftacithuntingincouples:theworldallincouples,eachcoupleinitsownlittlehouse,watchingitsownlittleinterests,andstewinginitsownlittleprivacy——it'sthemostrepulsivethingonearth。'
`Iquiteagree,'saidGerald。`There'ssomethinginferioraboutit。
ButasIsay,what'sthealternative。'
`Oneshouldavoidthishomeinstinct。It'snotaninstinct,it'sahabitofcowardliness。Oneshouldneverhaveahome。'
`Iagreereally,'saidGerald。`Butthere'snoalternative。'
`We'vegottofindone。Idobelieveinapermanentunionbetweenamanandawoman。Choppingaboutismerelyanexhaustiveprocess。Butapermanentrelationbetweenamanandawomanisn'tthelastword——itcertainlyisn't。'
`Quite,'saidGerald。
`Infact,'saidBirkin,`becausetherelationbetweenmanandwomanismadethesupremeandexclusiverelationship,that'swhereallthetightnessandmeannessandinsufficiencycomesin。'
`Yes,Ibelieveyou,'saidGerald。
`You'vegottotakedownthelove—and—marriageidealfromitspedestal。
Wewantsomethingbroader。Ibelieveintheadditionalperfectrelationshipbetweenmanandman——additionaltomarriage。'
`Icanneverseehowtheycanbethesame,'saidGerald。
`Notthesame——butequallyimportant,equallycreative,equallysacred,ifyoulike。'
`Iknow,'saidGerald,`youbelievesomethinglikethat。OnlyIcan'tfeelit,yousee。'HeputhishandonBirkin'sarm,withasortofdeprecatingaffection。Andhesmiledasiftriumphantly。
Hewasreadytobedoomed。Marriagewaslikeadoomtohim。Hewaswillingtocondemnhimselfinmarriage,tobecomelikeaconvictcondemnedtotheminesoftheunderworld,livingnolifeinthesun,buthavingadreadfulsubterraneanactivity。Hewaswillingtoacceptthis。Andmarriagewasthesealofhiscondemnation。Hewaswillingtobesealedthusintheunderworld,likeasouldamnedbutlivingforeverindamnation。Buthewouldnotmakeanypurerelationshipwithanyothersoul。Hecouldnot。MarriagewasnotthecommittingofhimselfintoarelationshipwithGudrun。Itwasacommittingofhimselfinacceptanceoftheestablishedworld,hewouldaccepttheestablishedorder,inwhichhedidnotlivinglybelieve,andthenhewouldretreattotheunderworldforhislife。Thishewoulddo。
TheotherwaywastoacceptRupert'sofferofalliance,toenterintothebondofpuretrustandlovewiththeotherman,andthensubsequentlywiththewoman。Ifhepledgedhimselfwiththemanhewouldlaterbeabletopledgehimselfwiththewoman:notmerelyinlegalmarriage,butinabsolute,mysticmarriage。
Yethecouldnotaccepttheoffer。Therewasanumbnessuponhim,anumbnesseitherofunborn,absentvolition,orofatrophy。Perhapsitwastheabsenceofvolition。ForhewasstrangelyelatedatRupert'soffer。
Yethewasstillmoregladtorejectit,nottobecommitted。
WomenInLove:Chapter26CHAPTERXXVIAChairTHEREWASajumblemarketeveryMondayafternoonintheoldmarket—placeintown。UrsulaandBirkinstrayeddownthereoneafternoon。Theyhadbeentalkingoffurniture,andtheywantedtoseeiftherewasanyfragmenttheywouldliketobuy,amidtheheapsofrubbishcollectedonthecobble—stones。
Theoldmarket—squarewasnotverylarge,amerebarepatchofgranitesetts,usuallywithafewfruit—stallsunderawall。Itwasinapoorquarterofthetown。Meagrehousesstooddownoneside,therewasahosieryfactory,agreatblankwithmyriadoblongwindows,attheend,astreetoflittleshopswithflagstonepavementdowntheotherside,and,foracrowningmonument,thepublicbaths,ofnewredbrick,withaclock—tower。Thepeoplewhomovedaboutseemedstumpyandsordid,theairseemedtosmellratherdirty,therewasasenseofmanymeanstreetsramifyingoffintowarrensofmeanness。Nowandagainagreatchocolate—and—yellowtramcargroundroundadifficultbendunderthehosieryfactory。
Ursulawassuperficiallythrilledwhenshefoundherselfoutamongthecommonpeople,inthejumbledplacepiledwitholdbedding,heapsofoldiron,shabbycrockeryinpalelots,muffledlotsofunthinkableclothing。
SheandBirkinwentunwillinglydownthenarrowaislebetweentherustywares。Hewaslookingatthegoods,sheatthepeople。
Sheexcitedlywatchedayoungwoman,whowasgoingtohaveababy,andwhowasturningoveramattressandmakingayoungman,down—at—heelanddejected,feelitalso。Sosecretiveandactiveandanxioustheyoungwomanseemed,soreluctant,slinking,theyoungman。Hewasgoingtomarryherbecauseshewashavingachild。
Whentheyhadfeltthemattress,theyoungwomanaskedtheoldmanseatedonastoolamonghiswares,howmuchitwas。Hetoldher,andsheturnedtotheyoungman。Thelatterwasashamed,andselfconscious。Heturnedhisfaceaway,thoughhelefthisbodystandingthere,andmutteredaside。
Andagainthewomananxiouslyandactivelyfingeredthemattressandaddedupinhermindandbargainedwiththeold,uncleanman。Allthewhile,theyoungmanstoodby,shamefacedanddown—at—heel,submitting。
`Look,'saidBirkin,`thereisaprettychair。'
`Charming!'criedUrsula。`Oh,charming。'
Itwasanarm—chairofsimplewood,probablybirch,butofsuchfinedelicacyofgrace,standingthereonthesordidstones,italmostbroughttearstotheeyes。Itwassquareinshape,ofthepurest,slenderlines,andfourshortlinesofwoodintheback,thatremindedUrsulaofharpstrings。
`Itwasonce,'saidBirkin,`gilded——andithadacaneseat。Somebodyhasnailedthiswoodenseatin。Look,hereisatrifleoftheredthatunderlaythegilt。Therestisallblack,exceptwherethewoodiswornpureandglossy。Itisthefineunityofthelinesthatissoattractive。
Look,howtheyrunandmeetandcounteract。Butofcoursethewoodenseatiswrong——itdestroystheperfectlightnessandunityintensionthecanegave。Ilikeitthough——'
`Ahyes,'saidUrsula,`sodoI。'
`Howmuchisit?'Birkinaskedtheman。
`Tenshillings。'
`Andyouwillsendit——?'
Itwasbought。
`Sobeautiful,sopure!'Birkinsaid。`Italmostbreaksmyheart。'Theywalkedalongbetweentheheapsofrubbish。`Mybelovedcountry——ithadsomethingtoexpressevenwhenitmadethatchair。'