`Andhasn'titnow?'askedUrsula。Shewasalwaysangrywhenhetookthistone。
`No,ithasn't。WhenIseethatclear,beautifulchair,andIthinkofEngland,evenJaneAusten'sEngland——ithadlivingthoughtstounfoldeventhen,andpurehappinessinunfoldingthem。Andnow,wecanonlyfishamongtherubbishheapsfortheremnantsoftheiroldexpression。Thereisnoproductioninusnow,onlysordidandfoulmechanicalness。'
`Itisn'ttrue,'criedUrsula。`Whymustyoualwayspraisethepast,attheexpenseofthepresent?Really,Idon'tthinksomuchofJaneAusten'sEngland。Itwasmaterialisticenough,ifyoulike——'
`Itcouldaffordtobematerialistic,'saidBirkin,`becauseithadthepowertobesomethingother——whichwehaven't。Wearematerialisticbecausewehaven'tthepowertobeanythingelse——tryaswemay,wecan'tbringoffanythingbutmaterialism:mechanism,theverysoulofmaterialism。'
Ursulawassubduedintoangrysilence。Shedidnotheedwhathesaid。
Shewasrebellingagainstsomethingelse。
`AndIhateyourpast。I'msickofit,'shecried。`IbelieveIevenhatethatoldchair,thoughitisbeautiful。Itisn'tmysortofbeauty。Iwishithadbeensmashedupwhenitsdaywasover,notlefttopreachthebelovedpasttous。I'msickofthebelovedpast。'
`NotsosickasIamoftheaccursedpresent,'hesaid。
`Yes,justthesame。Ihatethepresent——butIdon'twantthepasttotakeitsplace——Idon'twantthatoldchair。'
Hewasratherangryforamoment。Thenhelookedattheskyshiningbeyondthetowerofthepublicbaths,andheseemedtogetoveritall。
Helaughed。
`Allright,'hesaid,`thenletusnothaveit。I'msickofitall,too。Atanyrateonecan'tgoonlivingontheoldbonesofbeauty。'
`Onecan't,'shecried。`Idon'twantoldthings。'
`Thetruthis,wedon'twantthingsatall,'hereplied。`Thethoughtofahouseandfurnitureofmyownishatefultome。'
Thisstartledherforamoment。Thenshereplied:
`Soitistome。Butonemustlivesomewhere。'
`Notsomewhere——anywhere,'hesaid。`Oneshouldjustliveanywhere——nothaveadefiniteplace。Idon'twantadefiniteplace。Assoonasyougetaroom,anditiscomplete,youwanttorunfromit。NowmyroomsattheMillarequitecomplete,Iwantthematthebottomofthesea。Itisahorribletyrannyofafixedmilieu,whereeachpieceoffurnitureisacommandment—stone。'
Sheclungtohisarmastheywalkedawayfromthemarket。
`Butwhatarewegoingtodo?'shesaid。`Wemustlivesomehow。AndIdowantsomebeautyinmysurroundings。Iwantasortofnaturalgrandeureven,splendour。'
`You'llnevergetitinhousesandfurniture——orevenclothes。Housesandfurnitureandclothes,theyarealltermsofanoldbaseworld,adetestablesocietyofman。AndifyouhaveaTudorhouseandold,beautifulfurniture,itisonlythepastperpetuatedontopofyou,horrible。AndifyouhaveaperfectmodernhousedoneforyoubyPoiret,itissomethingelseperpetuatedontopofyou。Itisallhorrible。Itisallpossessions,possessions,bullyingyouandturningyouintoageneralisation。YouhavetobelikeRodin,Michelangelo,andleaveapieceofrawrockunfinishedtoyourfigure。
Youmustleaveyoursurroundingssketchy,unfinished,sothatyouarenevercontained,neverconfined,neverdominatedfromtheoutside。'
Shestoodinthestreetcontemplating。
`Andwearenevertohaveacompleteplaceofourown——neverahome?'
shesaid。
`PrayGod,inthisworld,no,'heanswered。
`Butthere'sonlythisworld,'sheobjected。
Hespreadouthishandswithagestureofindifference。
`Meanwhile,then,we'llavoidhavingthingsofourown,'hesaid。
`Butyou'vejustboughtachair,'shesaid。
`IcantellthemanIdon'twantit,'hereplied。
Sheponderedagain。Thenaqueerlittlemovementtwitchedherface。
`No,'shesaid,`wedon'twantit。I'msickofoldthings。'
`Newonesaswell,'hesaid。
Theyretracedtheirsteps。
There——infrontofsomefurniture,stoodtheyoungcouple,thewomanwhowasgoingtohaveababy,andthenarrow—facedyouth。Shewasfair,rathershort,stout。Hewasofmediumheight,attractivelybuilt。Hisdarkhairfellsidewaysoverhisbrow,fromunderhiscap,hestoodstrangelyaloof,likeoneofthedamned。
`Letusgiveittothem,'whisperedUrsula。`Looktheyaregettingahometogether。'
`Iwon'taidabettheminit,'hesaidpetulantly,instantlysympathisingwiththealoof,furtiveyouth,againsttheactive,procreantfemale。
`Ohyes,'criedUrsula。`It'srightforthem——there'snothingelseforthem。'
`Verywell,'saidBirkin,`youofferittothem。I'llwatch。'
Ursulawentrathernervouslytotheyoungcouple,whowerediscussinganironwashstand——orrather,themanwasglancingfurtivelyandwonderingly,likeaprisoner,attheabominablearticle,whilstthewomanwasarguing。
`Weboughtachair,'saidUrsula,`andwedon'twantit。Wouldyouhaveit?Weshouldbegladifyouwould。'
Theyoungcouplelookedroundather,notbelievingthatshecouldbeaddressingthem。
`Wouldyoucareforit?'repeatedUrsula。`It'sreallyverypretty——but——but——'shesmiledratherdazzlingly。
Theyoungcoupleonlystaredather,andlookedsignificantlyateachother,toknowwhattodo。Andthemancuriouslyobliteratedhimself,asifhecouldmakehimselfinvisible,asaratcan。
`Wewantedtogiveittoyou,'explainedUrsula,nowovercomewithconfusionanddreadofthem。Shewasattractedbytheyoungman。Hewasastill,mindlesscreature,hardlyamanatall,acreaturethatthetownshaveproduced,strangelypure—bredandfineinonesense,furtive,quick,subtle。Hislashesweredarkandlongandfineoverhiseyes,thathadnomindinthem,onlyadreadfulkindofsubject,inwardconsciousness,glazedanddark。Hisdarkbrowsandallhislines,werefinelydrawn。Hewouldbeadreadful,butwonderfullovertoawoman,somarvellouslycontributed。
Hislegswouldbemarvellouslysubtleandalive,undertheshapeless,trousers,hehadsomeofthefinenessandstillnessandsilkinessofadark—eyed,silentrat。
Ursulahadapprehendedhimwithafinefrissonofattraction。
Thefull—builtwomanwasstaringoffensively。AgainUrsulaforgothim。
`Won'tyouhavethechair?'shesaid。
Themanlookedatherwithasidewayslookofappreciation,yetfaroff,almostinsolent。Thewomandrewherselfup。Therewasacertaincostermongerrichnessabouther。ShedidnotknowwhatUrsulawasafter,shewasonherguard,hostile。Birkinapproached,smilingwickedlyatseeingUrsulasononplussedandfrightened。
`What'sthematter?'hesaid,smiling。Hiseyelidshaddroppedslightly,therewasabouthimthesamesuggestive,mockingsecrecythatwasinthebearingofthetwocitycreatures。Themanjerkedhisheadalittleononeside,indicatingUrsula,andsaid,withcuriousamiable,jeeringwarmth:
`Whatshewarnt?——eh?'Anoddsmilewrithedhislips。
Birkinlookedathimfromunderhisslack,ironicaleyelids。
`Togiveyouachair——that——withthelabelonit,'hesaid,pointing。
Themanlookedattheobjectindicated。Therewasacurioushostilityinmale,outlawedunderstandingbetweenthetwomen。
`What'sshewarnttogiveitusfor,guvnor,'hereplied,inatoneoffreeintimacythatinsultedUrsula。
`Thoughtyou'dlikeit——it'saprettychair。Weboughtitanddon'twantit。Noneedforyoutohaveit,don'tbefrightened,'saidBirkin,withawrysmile。
Themanglancedupathim,halfinimical,halfrecognising。
`Whydon'tyouwantitforyourselves,ifyou'vejustboughtit?'askedthewomancoolly。`'Taintgoodenoughforyou,nowyou'vehadalookatit。Frightenedit'sgotsomethinginit,eh?'
ShewaslookingatUrsula,admiringly,butwithsomeresentment。
`I'dneverthoughtofthat,'saidBirkin。`Butno,thewood'stoothineverywhere。'
`Yousee,'saidUrsula,herfaceluminousandpleased。`Wearejustgoingtogetmarried,andwethoughtwe'dbuythings。Thenwedecided,justnow,thatwewouldn'thavefurniture,we'dgoabroad。'
Thefull—built,slightlyblowsycitygirllookedatthefinefaceoftheotherwoman,withappreciation。Theyappreciatedeachother。Theyouthstoodaside,hisfaceexpressionlessandtimeless,thethinlineoftheblackmoustachedrawnstrangelysuggestiveoverhisratherwide,closedmouth。Hewasimpassive,abstract,likesomedarksuggestivepresence,agutter—presence。
`It'sallrighttobesomefolks,'saidthecitygirl,turningtoherownyoungman。Hedidnotlookather,buthesmiledwiththelowerpartofhisface,puttinghisheadasideinanoddgestureofassent。Hiseyeswereunchanging,glazedwithdarkness。
`Cawstssomethingtochangeyourmind,'hesaid,inanincrediblylowaccent。
`Onlytenshillingsthistime,'saidBirkin。
Themanlookedupathimwithagrimaceofasmile,furtive,unsure。
`Cheapat'arfaquid,guvnor,'hesaid。`Notlikegettingdivawced。'
`We'renotmarriedyet,'saidBirkin。
`No,nomorearen'twe,'saidtheyoungwomanloudly。`Butweshallbe,aSaturday。'
Againshelookedattheyoungmanwithadetermined,protectivelook,atonceoverbearingandverygentle。Hegrinnedsicklily,turningawayhishead。Shehadgothismanhood,butLord,whatdidhecare!Hehadastrangefurtiveprideandslinkingsingleness。
`Goodlucktoyou,'saidBirkin。
`Sametoyou,'saidtheyoungwoman。Then,rathertentatively:`When'syourscomingoff,then?'
BirkinlookedroundatUrsula。
`It'sfortheladytosay,'hereplied。`Wegototheregistrarthemomentshe'sready。'
Ursulalaughed,coveredwithconfusionandbewilderment。
`No'urry,'saidtheyoungman,grinningsuggestive。
`Oh,don'tbreakyournecktogetthere,'saidtheyoungwoman。`'Slikewhenyou'redead——you'relongtimemarried。'
Theyoungmanturnedasideasifthishithim。
`Thelongerthebetter,letushope,'saidBirkin。
`That'sit,guvnor,'saidtheyoungmanadmiringly。`Enjoyitwhileitlarsts——niverwhipadeaddonkey。'
`Onlywhenhe'sshammingdead,'saidtheyoungwoman,lookingatheryoungmanwithcaressivetendernessofauthority。
`Aw,there'sadifference,'hesaidsatirically。
`Whataboutthechair?'saidBirkin。
`Yes,allright,'saidthewoman。
Theytrailedofftothedealer,thehandsomebutabjectyoungfellowhangingalittleaside。
`That'sit,'saidBirkin。`Willyoutakeitwithyou,orhavetheaddressaltered。'
`Oh,Fredcancarryit。Makehimdowhathecanforthedearold'ome。'
`Mikeuseof'im,'saidFred,grimlyhumorous,ashetookthechairfromthedealer。Hismovementsweregraceful,yetcuriouslyabject,slinking。
`'Ere'smother'scosychair,'hesaid。`Warntsacushion。'Andhestooditdownonthemarketstones。
`Don'tyouthinkit'spretty?'laughedUrsula。
`Oh,Ido,'saidtheyoungwoman。
`'Aveasitinit,you'llwishyou'dkeptit,'saidtheyoungman。
Ursulapromptlysatdowninthemiddleofthemarket—place。
`Awfullycomfortable,'shesaid。`Butratherhard。Youtryit。'Sheinvitedtheyoungmantoaseat。Butheturneduncouthly,awkwardlyaside,glancingupatherwithquickbrighteyes,oddlysuggestive,likeaquick,liverat。
`Don'tspoilhim,'saidtheyoungwoman。`He'snotusedtoarm—chairs,'eisn't。
Theyoungmanturnedaway,andsaid,withavertedgrin:
`Onlywarntslegson'is。'
Thefourparted。Theyoungwomanthankedthem。
`Thankyouforthechair——it'lllasttillitgivesway。'
`Keepitforanornyment,'saidtheyoungman。
`Goodafternoon——Goodafternoon,'saidUrsulaandBirkin。
`Goo'—lucktoyou,'saidtheyoungman,glancingandavoidingBirkin'seyes,asheturnedasidehishead。
Thetwocoupleswentasunder,UrsulaclingingtoBirkin'sarm。Whentheyhadgonesomedistance,sheglancedbackandsawtheyoungmangoingbesidethefull,easyyoungwoman。Histrouserssankoverhisheels,hemovedwithasortofslinkingevasion,morecrushedwithoddself—consciousnessnowhehadtheslimoldarm—chairtocarry,hisarmovertheback,thefourfine,squaretaperinglegsswayingperilouslynearthegranitesettsofthepavement。Andyethewassomewhereindomitableandseparate,likeaquick,vitalrat。Hehadaqueer,subterraneanbeauty,repulsivetoo。
`Howstrangetheyare!'saidUrsula。
`Childrenofmen,'hesaid。`TheyremindmeofJesus:"Themeekshallinherittheearth。"'
`Buttheyaren'tthemeek,'saidUrsula。
`Yes,Idon'tknowwhy,buttheyare,'hereplied。
Theywaitedforthetramcar。Ursulasatontopandlookedoutonthetown。Theduskwasjustdimmingthehollowsofcrowdedhouses。
`Andaretheygoingtoinherittheearth?'shesaid。
`Yes——they。'
`Thenwhatarewegoingtodo?'sheasked。`We'renotlikethem——arewe?We'renotthemeek?'
`No。We'vegottoliveinthechinkstheyleaveus。'
`Howhorrible!'criedUrsula。`Idon'twanttoliveinchinks。'
`Don'tworry,'hesaid。`Theyarethechildrenofmen,theylikemarket—placesandstreet—cornersbest。Thatleavesplentyofchinks。'
`Alltheworld,'shesaid。
`Ahno——butsomeroom。'
Thetramcarmountedslowlyupthehill,wheretheuglywinter—greymassesofhouseslookedlikeavisionofhellthatiscoldandangular。Theysatandlooked。Awayinthedistancewasanangryrednessofsunset。Itwasallcold,somehowsmall,crowded,andliketheendoftheworld。
`Idon'tminditeventhen,'saidUrsula,lookingattherepulsivenessofitall。`Itdoesn'tconcernme。'
`Nomoreitdoes,'hereplied,holdingherhand。`Oneneedn'tsee。Onegoesone'sway。Inmyworlditissunnyandspacious——'
`Itis,mylove,isn'tit?'shecried,huggingneartohimonthetopofthetramcar,sothattheotherpassengersstaredatthem。
`Andwewillwanderaboutonthefaceoftheearth,'hesaid,`andwe'lllookattheworldbeyondjustthisbit。'
Therewasalongsilence。Herfacewasradiantlikegold,asshesatthinking。
`Idon'twanttoinherittheearth,'shesaid。`Idon'twanttoinheritanything。'
Heclosedhishandoverhers。
`NeitherdoI。Iwanttobedisinherited。'
Sheclaspedhisfingersclosely。
`Wewon'tcareaboutanything,'shesaid。
Hesatstill,andlaughed。
`Andwe'llbemarried,andhavedonewiththem,'sheadded。
Againhelaughed。
`It'sonewayofgettingridofeverything,'shesaid,`togetmarried。'
`Andonewayofacceptingthewholeworld,'headded。
`Awholeotherworld,yes,'shesaidhappily。
`Perhapsthere'sGerald——andGudrun——'hesaid。
`Ifthereisthereis,yousee,'shesaid。`It'snogoodourworrying。
Wecan'treallyalterthem,canwe?'
`No,'hesaid。`Onehasnorighttotry——notwiththebestintentionsintheworld。'
`Doyoutrytoforcethem?'sheasked。
`Perhaps,'hesaid。`WhyshouldIwanthimtobefree,ifitisn'thisbusiness?'
Shepausedforatime。
`Wecan'tmakehimhappy,anyhow,'shesaid。`He'dhavetobeitofhimself。'
`Iknow,'hesaid。`Butwewantotherpeoplewithus,don'twe?'
`Whyshouldwe?'sheasked。
`Idon'tknow,'hesaiduneasily。`Onehasahankeringafterasortoffurtherfellowship。'
`Butwhy?'sheinsisted。`Whyshouldyouhankerafterotherpeople?
Whyshouldyouneedthem?'
Thishithimrightonthequick。Hisbrowsknitted。
`Doesitendwithjustourtwoselves?'heasked,tense。
`Yes——whatmoredoyouwant?Ifanybodylikestocomealong,letthem。
Butwhymustyourunafterthem?'
Hisfacewastenseandunsatisfied。
`Yousee,'hesaid,`Ialwaysimagineourbeingreallyhappywithsomefewotherpeople——alittlefreedomwithpeople。'
Sheponderedforamoment。
`Yes,onedoeswantthat。Butitmusthappen。Youcan'tdoanythingforitwithyourwill。Youalwaysseemtothinkyoucanforcetheflowerstocomeout。Peoplemustloveusbecausetheyloveus——youcan'tmakethem。'
`Iknow,'hesaid。`Butmustonetakenostepsatall?Mustonejustgoasifonewerealoneintheworld——theonlycreatureintheworld?'
`You'vegotme,'shesaid。`Whyshouldyouneedothers?Whymustyouforcepeopletoagreewithyou?Whycan'tyoubesinglebyyourself,asyouarealwayssaying?YoutrytobullyGerald——asyoutriedtobullyHermione。Youmustlearntobealone。Andit'ssohorridofyou。You'vegotme。Andyetyouwanttoforceotherpeopletoloveyouaswell。Youdotrytobullythemtoloveyou。Andeventhen,youdon'twanttheirlove。'
Hisfacewasfullofrealperplexity。
`Don'tI?'hesaid。`It'stheproblemIcan'tsolve。IknowI
wantaperfectandcompleterelationshipwithyou:andwe'venearlygotit——wereallyhave。Butbeyondthat。DoIwantareal,ultimaterelationshipwithGerald?DoIwantafinal,almostextra—humanrelationshipwithhim——arelationshipintheultimateofmeandhim——ordon'tI?'
Shelookedathimforalongtime,withstrangebrighteyes,butshedidnotanswer。
WomenInLove:Chapter27CHAPTERXXVIIFlittingTHATEVENINGUrsulareturnedhomeverybright—eyedandwondrous——whichirritatedherpeople。Herfathercamehomeatsuppertime,tiredaftertheeveningclass,andthelongjourneyhome。Gudrunwasreading,themothersatinsilence。
SuddenlyUrsulasaidtothecompanyatlarge,inabrightvoice,`RupertandIaregoingtobemarriedtomorrow。'
Herfatherturnedround,stiffly。
`Youwhat?'hesaid。
`Tomorrow!'echoedGudrun。
`Indeed!'saidthemother。
ButUrsulaonlysmiledwonderfully,anddidnotreply。
`Marriedtomorrow!'criedherfatherharshly。`Whatareyoutalkingabout。'
`Yes,'saidUrsula。`Whynot?'Thosetwowords,fromher,alwaysdrovehimmad。`Everythingisallright——weshallgototheregistrar'soffice——'
Therewasasecond'shushintheroom,afterUrsula'sblithevagueness。
`Really,Ursula!'saidGudrun。
`Mightweaskwhytherehasbeenallthissecrecy?'demandedthemother,rathersuperbly。
`Buttherehasn't,'saidUrsula。`Youknew。'
`Whoknew?'nowcriedthefather。`Whoknew?Whatdoyoumeanbyyour"youknew"?'
Hewasinoneofhisstupidrages,sheinstantlyclosedagainsthim。
`Ofcourseyouknew,'shesaidcoolly。`Youknewweweregoingtogetmarried。'
Therewasadangerouspause。
`Weknewyouweregoingtogetmarried,didwe?Knew!Why,doesanybodyknowanythingaboutyou,youshiftybitch!'
`Father!'criedGudrun,flushingdeepinviolentremonstrance。Then,inacold,butgentlevoice,asiftoremindhersistertobetractable:
`Butisn'titafearfullysuddendecision,Ursula?'sheasked。
`No,notreally,'repliedUrsula,withthesamemaddeningcheerfulness。
`He'sbeenwantingmetoagreeforweeks——he'shadthelicenceready。OnlyI——Iwasn'treadyinmyself。NowIamready——isthereanythingtobedisagreeableabout?'
`Certainlynot,'saidGudrun,butinatoneofcoldreproof。`Youareperfectlyfreetodoasyoulike。'
`"Readyinyourself"——yourself,that'sallthatmatters,isn'tit!"Iwasn'treadyinmyself,"'hemimickedherphraseoffensively。`Youandyourself,you'reofsomeimportance,aren'tyou?'
Shedrewherselfupandsetbackherthroat,hereyesshiningyellowanddangerous。
`Iamtomyself,'shesaid,woundedandmortified。`IknowIamnottoanybodyelse。Youonlywantedtobullyme——younevercaredformyhappiness。'
Hewasleaningforwardwatchingher,hisfaceintenselikeaspark。
`Ursula,whatareyousaying?Keepyourtonguestill,'criedhermother。
Ursulaswunground,andthelightsinhereyesflashed。
`No,Iwon't,'shecried。`Iwon'tholdmytongueandbebullied。WhatdoesitmatterwhichdayIgetmarried——whatdoesitmatter!Itdoesn'taffectanybodybutmyself。'
Herfatherwastenseandgatheredtogetherlikeacatabouttospring。
`Doesn'tit?'hecried,comingnearertoher。Sheshrankaway。
`No,howcanit?'shereplied,shrinkingbutstubborn。
`Itdoesn'tmattertomethen,whatyoudo——whatbecomesofyou?'hecried,inastrangevoicelikeacry。
ThemotherandGudrunstoodbackasifhypnotised。
`No,'stammeredUrsula。Herfatherwasveryneartoher。`Youonlywantto——'
Sheknewitwasdangerous,andshestopped。Hewasgatheredtogether,everymuscleready。
`What?'hechallenged。
`Bullyme,'shemuttered,andevenasherlipsweremoving,hishandhadcaughthersmackatthesideofthefaceandshewassentupagainstthedoor。
`Father!'criedGudruninahighvoice,`itisimpossible!'
Hestoodunmoving。Ursularecovered,herhandwasonthedoorhandle。
Sheslowlydrewherselfup。Heseemeddoubtfulnow。
`It'strue,'shedeclared,withbrillianttearsinhereyes,herheadliftedupindefiance。`Whathasyourlovemeant,whatdiditevermean?
——bullying,anddenial——itdid——'
Hewasadvancingagainwithstrange,tensemovements,andclenchedfist,andthefaceofamurderer。Butswiftaslightningshehadflashedoutofthedoor,andtheyheardherrunningupstairs。
Hestoodforamomentlookingatthedoor。Then,likeadefeatedanimal,heturnedandwentbacktohisseatbythefire。
Gudrunwasverywhite。Outoftheintensesilence,themother'svoicewasheardsaying,coldandangry:
`Well,youshouldn'ttakesomuchnoticeofher。'
Againthesilencefell,eachfollowedaseparatesetofemotionsandthoughts。
Suddenlythedooropenedagain:Ursula,dressedinhatandfurs,withasmallvaliseinherhand:
`Good—bye!'shesaid,inhermaddening,bright,almostmockingtone。
`I'mgoing。'
Andinthenextinstantthedoorwasclosed,theyheardtheouterdoor,thenherquickstepsdownthegardenpath,thenthegatebanged,andherlightfootfallwasgone。Therewasasilencelikedeathinthehouse。
Ursulawentstraighttothestation,hasteningheedlesslyonwingedfeet。Therewasnotrain,shemustwalkontothejunction。Asshewentthroughthedarkness,shebegantocry,andsheweptbitterly,withadumb,heart—broken,child'sanguish,allthewayontheroad,andinthetrain。
Timepassedunheededandunknown,shedidnotknowwhereshewas,norwhatwastakingplace。Onlysheweptfromfathomlessdepthsofhopeless,hopelessgrief,theterriblegriefofachild,thatknowsnoextenuation。
YethervoicehadthesamedefensivebrightnessasshespoketoBirkin'slandladyatthedoor。
`Goodevening!IsMrBirkinin?CanIseehim?'
`Yes,he'sin。He'sinhisstudy。'
Ursulaslippedpastthewoman。Hisdooropened。Hehadheardhervoice。
`Hello!'heexclaimedinsurprise,seeingherstandingtherewiththevaliseinherhand,andmarksoftearsonherface。Shewasonewhoweptwithoutshowingmanytraces,likeachild。
`DoIlookasight?'shesaid,shrinking。
`No——why?Comein,'hetookthebagfromherhandandtheywentintothestudy。
There——immediately,herlipsbegantotremblelikethoseofachildthatremembersagain,andthetearscamerushingup。
`What'sthematter?'heasked,takingherinhisarms。Shesobbedviolentlyonhisshoulder,whilstheheldherstill,waiting。