“Forpity’ssake，don’tsaythat！Itellyou，itISgoodandmostenviableThinkofmyconsolations！”
　　“Haveyousomany，then，McIntosh？”
　　“Certainly；yourattemptsatsarcasmwhichisessentiallytheweaponofaculturedman，arecrudeFirst，myattainments，myclassicalandliteraryknowledge，blurred，perhaps，byimmoderatedrinking——
　　whichremindsmethatbeforemysoulwenttotheGodslastnight，I
　　soldthePickeringHoraceyousokindlylentmeDittaMulltheClothesmanhasitItfetchedtenannas，andmayberedeemedforarupee——butstillinfinitelysuperiortoyoursSecondly，theabidingaffectionofMrsMcIntosh，bestofwivesThirdly，amonument，moreenduringthanbrass，whichIhavebuiltupinthesevenyearsofmydegradation。”
　　Hestoppedhere，andcrawledacrosstheroomforadrinkofwater。
　　Hewasveryshakyandsick。
　　Hereferredseveraltimestohis“treasure“——somegreatpossessionthatheowned——butIheldthistobetheravingofdrinkHewasaspoorandasproudashecouldbeHismannerwasnotpleasant，butheknewenoughaboutthenatives，amongwhomsevenyearsofhislifehadbeenspent，tomakehisacquaintanceworthhavingHeusedactuallytolaughatStricklandasanignorantman——“ignorantWestandEast“——hesaidHisboastwas，first，thathewasanOxfordManofrareandshiningparts，whichmayormaynothavebeentrue——I
　　didnotknowenoughtocheckhisstatements——and，secondly，thathe“hadhishandonthepulseofnativelife“——whichwasafactAsanOxfordman，hestruckmeasaprig：hewasalwaysthrowinghiseducationaboutAsaMahommedanfaquir——asMcIntoshJellaludin——hewasallthatIwantedformyownendsHesmokedseveralpoundsofmytobacco，andtaughtmeseveralouncesofthingsworthknowing；
　　buthewouldneveracceptanygifts，notevenwhenthecoldweathercame，andgrippedthepoorthinchestunderthepoorthinalpaca-
　　coatHegrewveryangry，andsaidthatIhadinsultedhim，andthathewasnotgoingintohospitalHehadlivedlikeabeastandhewoulddierationally，likeaman。
　　Asamatteroffact，hediedofpneumonia；andonthenightofhisdeathsentoveragrubbynoteaskingmetocomeandhelphimtodie。
　　ThenativewomanwasweepingbythesideofthebedMcIntosh，wrappedinacottoncloth，wastooweaktoresentafurcoatbeingthrownoverhimHewasveryactiveasfarashismindwasconcerned，andhiseyeswereblazingWhenhehadabusedtheDoctorwhocamewithmesofoullythattheindignantoldfellowleft，hecursedmeforafewminutesandcalmeddown。
　　Thenhetoldhiswifetofetchout“TheBook“fromaholeinthewallShebroughtoutabigbundle，wrappedinthetailofapetticoat，ofoldsheetsofmiscellaneousnote-paper，allnumberedandcoveredwithfinecrampedwritingMcIntoshploughedhishandthroughtherubbishandstirredituplovingly。
　　“This。”hesaid，“ismywork——theBookofMcIntoshJellaludin，showingwhathesawandhowhelived，andwhatbefellhimandothers；beingalsoanaccountofthelifeandsinsanddeathofMotherMaturinWhatMirzaMuradAliBeg’sbookistoallotherbooksonnativelife，willmyworkbetoMirzaMuradAliBeg’s！”
　　This，aswillbeconcededbyanyonewhoknowsMirzaAliBeg’sbook，wasasweepingstatementThepapersdidnotlookspeciallyvaluable；butMcIntoshhandledthemasiftheywerecurrency-notes。
　　Thenhesaidslowly：——“Indespitethemanyweaknessesofyoureducation，youhavebeengoodtomeIwillspeakofyourtobaccowhenIreachtheGodsIoweyoumuchthanksformanykindnesses。
　　ButIabominateindebtednessForthisreasonIbequeathtoyounowthemonumentmoreenduringthanbrass——myonebook——rudeandimperfectinparts，butoh，howrareinothers！IwonderifyouwillunderstanditItisagiftmorehonorablethanBah！
　　whereismybrainramblingto？YouwillmutilateithorriblyYouwillknockoutthegemsyoucall’Latinquotations，’youPhilistine，andyouwillbutcherthestyletocarveintoyourownjerkyjargon；
　　butyoucannotdestroythewholeofitIbequeathittoyou。
　　EthelMybrainagain！MrsMcIntosh，bearwitnessthatI
　　givethesahiballthesepapersTheywouldbeofnousetoyou，Heartofmyheart；andIlayituponyou。”heturnedtomehere，“thatyoudonotletmybookdieinitspresentformItisyoursunconditionally——thestoryofMcIntoshJellaludin，whichisNOT
　　thestoryofMcIntoshJellaludin，butofagreatermanthanhe，andofafargreaterwomanListennow！Iamneithermadnordrunk！
　　Thatbookwillmakeyoufamous。”
　　Isaid，“thankyou。”asthenativewomanputthebundleintomyarms。
　　“Myonlybaby！”saidMcIntoshwithasmileHewassinkingfast，buthecontinuedtotalkaslongasbreathremainedIwaitedfortheend：knowingthat，insixcasesoutoftenthedyingmancallsforhismotherHeturnedonhissideandsaid：——
　　“SayhowitcameintoyourpossessionNoonewillbelieveyou，butmyname，atleast，willliveYouwilltreatitbrutally，IknowyouwillSomeofitmustgo；thepublicarefoolsandprudishfoolsIwastheirservantonceButdoyourmanglinggently——verygentlyItisagreatwork，andIhavepaidforitinsevenyears’
　　damnation。”
　　Hisvoicestoppedfortenortwelvebreaths，andthenhebeganmumblingaprayerofsomekindinGreekThenativewomancriedverybitterlyLastly，heroseinbedandsaid，asloudlyasslowly：——“Notguilty，myLord！”
　　Thenhefellback，andthestuporheldhimtillhediedThenativewomanranintotheSeraiamongthehorsesandscreamedandbeatherbreasts；forshehadlovedhim。
　　PerhapshislastsentenceinlifetoldwhatMcIntoshhadoncegonethrough；but，savingthebigbundleofoldsheetsinthecloth，therewasnothinginhisroomtosaywhoorwhathehadbeen。
　　Thepaperswereinahopelessmuddle。
　　Stricklandhelpedmetosortthem，andhesaidthatthewriterwaseitheranextremeliaroramostwonderfulpersonHethoughttheformerOneofthesedays，youmaybeabletojudgeforyourself。
　　ThebundleneededmuchexpurgationandwasfullofGreeknonsense，attheheadofthechapters，whichhasallbeencutout。
　　Ifthethingsareeverpublishedsomeonemayperhapsrememberthisstory，nowprintedasasafeguardtoprovethatMcIntoshJellaludinandnotImyselfwrotetheBookofMotherMaturin。
　　Idon’twanttheGiant’sRobetocometrueinmycase。
　　VOLUMEVITHELIGHTTHATFAILED
　　THELIGHTTHATFAILED
　　CHAPTERI
　　SowesettleditallwhenthestormwasdoneAscomf’yascomf’ycouldbe；
　　AndIwastowaitinthebarn，mydears，BecauseIwasonlythree；
　　AndTeddywouldruntotherainbow’sfoot，Becausehewasfiveandaman；
　　Andthat’showitallbegan，mydears，Andthat’showitallbegan——
　　BigBarnStories。
　　’WHATdoyouthinkshe’ddoifshecaughtus？Weoughtn’ttohaveit，youknow，’saidMaisie。
　　’Beatme，andlockyouupinyourbedroom，’Dickanswered，withouthesitation’Haveyougotthecartridges？’
　　“Yes；they’reinmypocket，buttheyarejogglinghorriblyDopin-firecartridgesgooffoftheirownaccord？’
　　’Don’tknowTaketherevolver，ifyouareafraid，andletmecarrythem。’
　　“I’mnotafraid。’Maisiestrodeforwardswiftly，ahandinherpocketandherchinintheairDickfollowedwithasmallpin-firerevolver-
　　Thechildrenhaddiscoveredthattheirliveswouldbeunendurablewithoutpistol-practiceAftermuchforethoughtandself-denial，Dickhadsavedsevenshillingsandsixpence，thepriceofabadlyconstructedBelgianrevolverMaisiecouldonlycontributehalfacrowntothesyndicateforthepurchaseofahundredcartridges’YoucansavebetterthanIcan，Dick，’sheexplained；’Ilikenicethingstoeat，anditdoesn’tmattertoyouBesides，boysoughttodothesethings。’
　　Dickgrumbledalittleatthearrangement，butwentoutandmadethepurchase，whichthechildrenwerethenontheirwaytotest。
　　RevolversdidnotlieintheschemeoftheirdailylifeasdecreedforthembytheguardianwhowasincorrectlysupposedtostandintheplaceofamothertothesetwoorphansDickhadbeenunderhercareforsixyears，duringwhichtimeshehadmadeherprofitoftheallowancessupposedtobeexpendedonhisclothes，and，partlythroughthoughtlessness，partlythroughanaturaldesiretopain，——shewasawidowofsomeyearsanxioustomarryagain，——hadmadehisdaysburdensomeonhisyoungshoulders-
　　Wherehehadlookedforlove，shegavehimfirstaversionandthenhate-
　　Wherehegrowingolderhadsoughtalittlesympathy，shegavehimridiculeThemanyhoursthatshecouldsparefromtheorderingofhersmallhouseshedevotedtowhatshecalledthehome-trainingofDickHeldarHerreligion，manufacturedinthemainbyherownintelligenceandakeenstudyoftheScriptures，wasanaidtoherinthismatter。
　　AtsuchtimesassheherselfwasnotpersonallydispleasedwithDick，shelefthimtounderstandthathehadaheavyaccounttosettlewithhisCreator；whereforeDicklearnedtoloathehisGodasintenselyasheloathedMrsJennett；andthisisnotawholesomeframeofmindfortheyoungSinceshechosetoregardhimasahopelessliar，butaneconomicalandself-containedone，neverthrowingawaytheleastunnecessaryfib，andneverhesitatingattheblackest，wereitonlyplausible，thatmightmakehislifealittleeasierThetreatmenttaughthimatleastthepoweroflivingalone，——apowerthatwasofservicetohimwhenhewenttoapublicschoolandtheboyslaughedathisclothes，whichwerepoorinqualityandmuchmendedIntheholidayshereturnedtotheteachingsofMrsJennett，and，thatthechainofdisciplinemightnotbeweakenedbyassociationwiththeworld，wasgenerallybeaten，ononeaccountoranother，beforehehadbeentwelvehoursunderherroof-
　　Theautumnofoneyearbroughthimacompanioninbondage，along-haired，gray-eyedlittleatom，asself-containedashimself，whomovedaboutthehousesilentlyandforthefirstfewweeksspokeonlytothegoatthatwasherchiefestfriendonearthandlivedintheback-gardenMrsJennettobjectedtothegoatonthegroundsthathewasun-Christian，——whichhecertainlywas’Then，’saidtheatom，choosingherwordsverydeliberately，’Ishallwritetomylawyer-peoplesandtellthemthatyouareaverybadwoman。
　　Amommaismine，mine，mine！’MrsJennettmadeamovementtothehall，wherecertainumbrellasandcanesstoodinarackTheatomunderstoodasclearlyasDickwhatthismeant’Ihavebeenbeatenbefore，’shesaid，stillinthesamepassionlessvoice；’IhavebeenbeatenworsethanyoucaneverbeatmeIfyoubeatmeIshallwritetomylawyer-peoplesandtellthemthatyoudonotgivemeenoughtoeatIamnotafraidofyou。’MrsJennettdidnotgointothehall，andtheatom，afterapausetoassureherselfthatalldangerofwarwaspast，wentout，toweepbitterlyonAmomma’sneck-
　　DicklearnedtoknowherasMaisie，andatfirstmistrustedherprofoundly，forhefearedthatshemightinterferewiththesmalllibertyofactionlefttohimShedidnot，however；andshevolunteerednofriendlinessuntilDickhadtakenthefirststepsLongbeforetheholidayswereover，thestressofpunishmentsharedincommondrovethechildrentogether，ifitwereonlytoplayintoeachother’shandsastheypreparedliesforMrsJennett’suseWhenDickreturnedtoschool，Maisiewhispered，’NowIshallbeallalonetotakecareofmyself；
　　but，’andshenoddedherheadbravely，’IcandoitYoupromisedtosendAmommaagrasscollarSenditsoon。’Aweeklatersheaskedforthatcollarbyreturnofpost，andwanotpleasedwhenshelearnedthatittooktimetomakeWhenatlastDickforwardedthegift，sheforgottothankhimforit-
　　Manyholidayshadcomeandgonesincethatday，andDickhadgrownintoalankyhobbledehoymorethaneverconsciousofhisbadclothes。
　　NotforamomenthadMrsJennettrelaxedhertendercareofhim，buttheaveragecaningsofapublicschool——Dickfellunderpunishmentaboutthreetimesamonth——filledhimwithcontemptforherpowers。
　　’Shedoesn’thurt，’heexplainedtoMaisie，whourgedhimtorebellion，’andsheiskindertoyouaftershehaswhackedme。’Dickshambledthroughthedaysunkemptinbodyandsavageinsoul，asthesmallerboysoftheschoollearnedtoknow，forwhenthespiritmovedhimhewouldhitthem，cunninglyandwithscienceThesamespiritmadehimmorethanoncetrytoteaseMaisie，butthegirlrefusedtobemadeunhappy’Wearebothmiserableasitis，’saidshe’Whatistheuseoftryingtomakethingsworse？Let’sfindthingstodo，andforgetthings。’