`Deviltakethehorse！’criedthegentleman——`Well，tellhimI’llthinkaboutit，’headded，afteramoment’sreflection。Hecastasearchingglanceatme，astheservantwithdrew，expectingtoseeetokenofdeepastonishmentandalarm；but，beingpreviouslyprepared，Ipreservedanaspectofstoicalindifference。Hiscountenancefellashemetmysteadygaze，andheturnedawayinveryobviousdisappointment，andwalkeduptothefireplace，wherehestoodinanattitudeofundisguiseddejection，leaningagainstthechimney-piecewithhisforeheadsunkuponhisarm。
　　`Wheredoyouwanttogo，Arthur？’saidI。
　　`ToLondon，’repliedhe，gravely。
　　`Whatfor？’Iasked。
　　`BecauseIcannotbehappyhere。’
　　`Whynot？’
　　`Becausemywifedoesn’tloveme。’
　　`Shewouldloveyouwithallherheart，ifyoudeservedit。’
　　`WhatmustIdotodeserveit？’
　　Thisseemedhumbleandearnestenough；andIwassomuchaffected，betweensorrowandjoy，thatIwasobligedtopauseafewsecondsbeforeIcouldsteadymyvoicetoreply。
　　`ifshegivesyouherheart，’saidI，`youmusttakeitthankfully，anduseitwell，andnotpullitinpieces，andlaughinherface，becauseshecannotsnatchitaway。’
　　Henowturnedroundandstoodfaringme，withhisbacktothefire。
　　`Comethen，Helen，areyougoingtobeagoodgirl？’saidhe。
　　Thissoundedrathertooarrogant，andthesmilethataccompanieditdidnotpleaseme。Ithereforehesitatedtoreply。Perhapsmyformeranswerhadimpliedtoomuch：hehadheardmyvoicefalter，andmighthaveseenmebrushawayatear。
　　`Areyougoingtoforgiveme，Helen？’heresumed，morehumbly。
　　`Areyoupenitent？’Ireplied，steppinguptohimandsmilinginhisface。
　　`Heart-broken！’heanswered，witharuefulcountenance——yetwithamerrysmilejustlurkingwithinhiseyesandaboutthecornersofhismouth；butthiscouldnotrepulseme，andIflewintohisarms。HeferventlyembracedmeandthoughIshedatorrentoftears，IthinkIneverwashappierinmylifethanatthatmoment。
　　`Thenyouwon’tgotoLondon，Arthur？’Isaid，whenthefirsttransportoftearsandkisseshadsubsided。
　　`No，love，——unlessyouwillgowithme。’
　　`Iwill，gladly，’Ianswered，`ifyouthinkthechangewillamuseyou，andifyouwillputoffthejourneytillnextweek。’
　　Hereadilyconsented，butsaidtherewasnoneedofmuchpreparation，asheshouldnotbestayingforlong，forhedidnotwishmetobeLondonized，andtolosemycountryfreshnessandoriginalitybytoomuchintercoursewiththeladiesoftheworld。Ithoughtthisfolly；butIdidnotwishtocontradicthimnow：ImerelysaidthatIwasofverydomestichabits，ashewellknew，andhadnoparticularwishtominglewiththeworld。
　　SowearetogotoLondononMonday，thedayafterto-morrow。
　　Itisnowfourdayssincetheterminationofourquarrel，andI’msureithasdoneusbothgood：ithasmademelikeArthuragreatdealbetterandmadehimbehaveagreatdealbettertome。Hehasneveronceattemptedtoannoyme，since，bythemostdistantallusiontoLadyF——oranyofthosedisagreeablereminiscencesofhisformerlife——IwishIcouldblotthemfrommymemory，orelsegethimtoregardsuchmattersinthesamelightasIdo。Well！itissomething，however，tohavemadehimseethattheyarenotfitsubjectsforaconjugaljest。Hemayseefarthersometime——I
　　willputnolimitstomyhopes；and，inspiteofmyaunt’sforebodingsandmyownunspokenfears，Itrustweshallbehappyyet。
　　TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter25CHAPTER25FirstAbsenceONtheeighthofApril，wewenttoLondon；ontheeighthofMay，Ireturned，inobediencetoArthur’swish：verymuchagainstmyown，becauseIlefthimbehind。Ifhehadcomewithme，Ishouldhavebeenverygladtogethomeagain，forheledmesucharoundofrestlessdissipation，whilethere，that，inthatshortspaceoftime，Iwasquitetiredout。Heseemedbentupondisplayingmetohisfriendsandacquaintancesinparticular，andthepublicingeneral，oneverypossibleoccasionandtothegreatestpossibleadvantage。Itwassomethingtofeelthatheconsideredmeaworthyobjectofpride；butIpaiddearforthegratification，forinthefirstplace，topleasehim，Ihadtoviolatemycherishedpredilections——myalmostrootedprinciplesinfavourofaplain，dark，soberstyleofdress；Imustsparkleincostlyjewelsanddeckmyselfoutlikeapaintedbutterfly，justasIhad，longsince，determinedIwouldneverdo——andthiswasnothingsacrifice；
　　inthesecondplace，Iwascontinuallystrainingtosatisfyhissanguineexpectationsanddohonourtohischoice，bymygeneralconductanddeportment，andfearingtodisappointhimbysomeawkwardmisdemeanour，orsometraitofinexperiencedignoranceaboutthecustomsofsociety，especiallywhenIactedthepartofhostess，whichIwasnotunfrequentlycalledupontodo；andinthethirdplace，asIintimatedbefore，Iwasweariedofthethrongandbustle，therestlesshurryandceaselesschangeoflifesoalientoallmyprevioushabits。Atlast，hesuddenlydiscoveredthattheLondonairdidnotagreewithme，andIwaslanguishingformycountryhomeandmustimmediatelyreturntoGrass-dale。
　　Ilaughinglyassuredhimthatthecasewasnotsourgentasheappearedtothinkit，butIwasquitewillingtogohomeifhewas。Herepliedthatheshouldbeobligedtoremainaweekortwolonger，ashehadbusinessthatrequiredhispresence。
　　`ThenIwillstaywithyou，’saidI。
　　`ButIcan’tdowithyou，Helen，’washisanswer：`aslongasyoustay，Ishallattendtoyouandneglectmybusiness。’
　　`ButIwon’tletyou，’Ireturned：`nowthatIknowyouhavebusinesstoattendto，Ishallinsistuponyourattendingtoit，andlettingmealone——and，totellyouthetruth，Ishallbegladofalittlerest。I
　　cantakemyridesandwalksintheparkasusual；andyourbusinesscannotoccupyallyourtime；Ishallseeyouatmealtimesandintheevenings，atleast，andthatwillbebetterthanbeingleaguesawayandneverseeingyouatall。’
　　`Butmylove，Icannotletyoustay。HowcanIsettlemyaffairswhenIknowthatyouarehere，neglected——’
　　`Ishallnotfeelmyselfneglected：whileyouaredoingyourduty，Arthur，Ishallnevercomplainofneglect。Ifyouhadtoldme，before，thatyouhadanythingtodo，itwouldhavebeenhalfdonebeforethis；
　　andnowyoumustmakeupforlosttimebyredoubledexertions。Tellmewhatitis；andIwillbeyourtaskmaster，insteadofbeingahindrance。’
　　`No，no，’persistedtheimpracticablecreature；`youmustgohome，Helen；Imusthavethesatisfactionofknowingthatyouaresafeandwell，thoughfaraway。Don’tIseethatyouarelookingquiterakish？——Yourbrighteyesarefaded，andthattender，delicatebloomhasquitedesertedyourcheek’
　　`Thatisonlywithtoomuchgaietyandfatigue。’
　　`Itisnot，Itellyou；itistheLondonair：youarepiningforthefreshbreezesofyourcountryhome——andyoushallfeelthem，beforeyouaretwodaysolder。Andrememberyoursituation，dearestHelen；onyourhealth，youknow，dependsthehealth，ifnotthelife，ofourfuturehope。’
　　`Thenyoureallywishtogetridofme？’
　　`Positively，Ido；andIwilltakeyoudownmyselftoGrass-dale，andthenreturn。Ishallnotbeabsentaboveaweek——orfortnightatmost。’
　　`ButifImustgo，Iwillgoalone：ifyoumuststay，itisneedlesstowasteyourtimeinthejourneythereandback。’
　　Buthedidnotliketheideaofsendingmealone。
　　`Why，whathelplesscreaturedoyoutakemefor，’Ireplied，`thatyoucannottrustmetogoahundredmilesinourowncarriagewithourownfootmanandmaidtoattendme？IfyoucomewithmeIshallassuredlykeepyou。Buttellme，Arthur，whatisthistiresomebusiness；andwhydidyounevermentionitbefore？’
　　`Itisonlyalittlebusinesswithmylawyer，’saidhe；andhetoldmesomethingaboutapieceofpropertyhewantedtosellinordertopayoffapartoftheencumbrancesonhisestate；buteithertheaccountwasalittleconfusedorIwasratherdullofcomprehension，forIcouldnotclearlyunderstandhowthatshouldkeephimintownafortnightafterme。StilllesscanInowcomprehendhowitshouldkeephimamonth——foritisnearlythattimesinceIlefthim，andnosignsofhisreturnasyet，ineveryletterhepromisestobewithmeinafewdays，andeverytimedeceivesme——ordeceiveshimself。Hisexcusesarevagueandinsufficient。
　　Icannotdoubtthatheisgotamonghisformercompanionsagain——Oh，whydidIleavehim？Iwish——Idointenselywishhewouldreturn！
　　June29th——NoArthuryet；andformanydaysIhavebeenlookingandlonginginvainforaletter。Hisletters，whentheycome，arekind——iffairwordsandendearingepithetscangivethemaclaimtothetitle——butveryshort，andfulloftrivialexcusesandpromisesthatIcannottrust；
　　andyethowanxiouslyIlookforwardtothem！howeagerlyIopenanddevouroneofthoselittle，hastily-scribbledreturnsforthethreeorfourlongletters，hithertounanswered，hehashadfromme！
　　Oh，itiscrueltoleavemesolongalone！HeknowsIhavenoonebutRacheltospeakto，forwehavenoneighbourshere，excepttheHargraves，whoseresidenceIcandimlydescryfromtheseupperwindowsembosomedamongthoselow，woodyhillsbeyondthedale。IwasgladwhenIlearntthatMilicentwassonearus；andhercompanywouldbeasoothingsolacetomenow，butsheisstillintownwithhermother：thereisnooneattheGrovebutlittleEstherandherFrenchgoverness，forWalterisalwaysaway，IsawthatparagonofmanlyperfectionsinLondon：heseemedscarcelytomerittheeulogiumsofhismotherandsister，thoughhecertainlyappearedmoreconversableandagreeablethanLordLowborough，morecandidandhigh-mindedthanMrGrimsby，andmorepolishedandgentlemanlythanMrHattersley，Arthur’sonlyotherfriendwhomhejudgedfittointroducetome——Oh，Arthur，whywon’tyoucome！whywon’tyouwritetomeatleast！
　　Youtalkedaboutmyhealth——howcanyouexpectmetogatherbloomandvigourhere，pininginsolitudeandrestlessanxietyfromdaytoday？——Itwouldserveyourighttocomebackandfindmygoodlooksentirelywastedaway。
　　Iwouldbegmyuncleandaunt，ormybrother，tocomeandseeme，butI
　　donotliketocomplainofmylonelinesstothem，——andindeed，lonelinessistheleastofmysufferings；butwhatishedoing？——whatisitthatkeepshimaway？Itisthisever-recurringquestionandthehorriblesuggestionsitraisesthatdistractme。
　　July3rd——Mylastbitterletterhaswrungfromhimanansweratlast，——andaratherlongeronethanusual；butstill，Idon’tknowwhattomakeofit，Heplayfullyabusesmeforthegallandvinegarofmylatesteffusion，tellsmeIcanhavenoconceptionofthemultitudinousengagementsthatkeephimaway，butaversthat，inspiteofthemall，hewillassuredlybewithmebeforethecloseofnextweek；thoughitisimpossibleforaman，socircumstancedasheis，tofixtheprecisedayofhisreturn：meantime，heexhortsmetotheexerciseofpatience，`thatfirstofwoman’svirtues，’
　　anddesiresmetorememberthesaying，`Absencemakestheheartgrowfonder，’
　　andcomfortmyselfwiththeassurancethatthelongerhestaysaway，thebetterheshalllovemewhenheredandtillhedoesreturn，hebegsI
　　willcontinuetowritetohimconstantly，for，thoughheissometimestooidleandoftentoobusytoanswermylettersastheycome，helikestoreceivethemdaily，andifIfulfilmythreatofpunishinghisseemingneglectbyceasingtowrite，heshallbesoangrythathewilldohisutmosttoforgetme。HeaddsthispieceofintelligencerespectingpoorMilicentHargrave：——
　　`YourlittlefriendMilicentislikely，beforelong，tofollowyourexample，andtakeuponhertheyokeofmatrimonyinconjunctionwithafriendofmine。Hattersley，youknow，hasnotyetfulfilledhisdirefulthreatofthrowinghispreciouspersonawayonthefirstoldmaidthatchosetoevinceatendernessforhim；buthestillpreservesaresolutedeterminationtoseehimselfamarriedmanbeforetheyearisout：“Only。”
　　saidhetome，“Imusthavesomebodythatwillletmehavemyownwayineverything——notlikeyourwife，Huntingdon；sheisacharmingcreature，butshelooksasifshehadawillofherown，andcouldplaythevixenuponoccasion。”Ithought，“You’rerightthere，man。”butIdidn’tsayso。“Imusthavesomegood，quietsoulthatwillletmejustdowhatI
　　likeandgowhereIlike，keepathomeorstayaway，withoutawordofreproachorcomplaint；forIcan’tdowithbeingbothered。”“Well。”saidI，“Iknowsomebodythatwillsuityoutoatee，ifyoudon’tcareformoney，andthat’sHargrave’ssister，Milicent。”Hedesiredtobeintroducedtoherforthwith，forhesaidhehadplentyoftheneedfulhimself——orshouldhave，whenhisoldgovernorchosetoquitthestage。Soyousee，Helen，Ihavemanagedprettywell，bothforyourfriendandmine。’
　　PoorMilicent！ButIcannotimagineshewilleverbeledtoacceptsuchasuitor——onesorepugnanttoallherideasofamantobehonouredandloved。
　　5th——Alas！Iwasmistaken，IhavegotalongletterfromherthismornIng，tellingmesheisalreadyengaged，andexpectstobemarriedbeforethecloseofthemonth。