N。B。——Lookhere，areyouchargingstorage？Iamnotgoingtostandthat，youknow。Meantime，InotethoseencouragingillogicalwordsofyoursaboutmynotworryingbecauseIamtoberichwhenI
am68；whydidn’tyouhaveCheiromakeit90，sothatIcouldhaveplentyofroom？
Itwouldbejollygoodifsomeoneshouldsucceedinmakingaplayoutof"IsHeDead？"——[Clemenshimselfhadattemptedtomakeaplayoutofhisstory"IsHeDead？"andhadforwardedtheMS。toRogers。
Laterhewrote："Put’IsHeDead？’inthefire。Godwillblessyou。
Itoo。IstartedtoconvincemyselfthatIcouldwriteaplay，orcouldn’t。I’mconvinced。Nothingcandisturbthatconviction。"]——
FromwhatIgatherfromdramatists，hewillhavehishandssomethingmorethanfull——butlethimstruggle，lethimstruggle。
Istheresomeway，honestorotherwise，bywhichyoucangetacopyofMayo’splay，"Pudd’nheadWilson，"forme？ThereisacapableyoungAustrianherewhosawitinNewYorkandwantstotranslateitandseeifhecanstageithere。Idon’tthinkthesepeopleherewouldunderstanditortaketoit，buthethinksitwillpayustotry。
AcoupleofLondondramatistswanttobargainwithmefortherighttomakeahighcomedyoutofthe"Million—PoundNote。"Barkisiswilling。
Thisisbutoneofthebrieferletters。Mostofthemweremuchlongerandofmoreelaboraterequirements。Alsotheyoverflowedwiththegaietyofgood—fortuneandwithgratitude。FromViennain1899Clemenswrote：
Why，itisjustsplendid！Ihavenothingtodobutsitaroundandwatchyousetthehenandhatchoutthosebigbroodsandmakemylivingforme。Don’tyouwishyouhadsomebodytodothesameforyou？——amagicianwhocanturnsteeladdcopperandBrooklyngasintogold。Imeantoraiseyourwagesagain——IbegintofeelthatIcanaffordit。
Ithinkthehenoughttohaveaname；shemustbecalledUnberufen。
ThatisaGermanwordwhichisequivalenttoit’sh！hush’don’tletthespiritshearyou！"Thesuperstitionisthatifyouhappentoletfallanygratefuljubilationovergoodluckthatyou’vehadorarehopingtohaveyoumustshutsquareoffandsay"Unberufen！"andknockwood。Theworddrivestheevilspiritsaway；otherwisetheywoulddivineyourjoyoryourhopesandgotoworkandspoilyourgame。Setheragain——do！
Oh，lookhere！Youarejustlikeeverybody；merelybecauseIamliteraryyouthinkI’macommercialsomnambulist，andamnotwatchingyouwithallthatmoneyinyourhands。Blessyou，I’vegotadescriptionofyouandaphotographineverypolice—officeinChristendom，withtheremarkappended："Lookoutforahandsome，tall，slenderyoungmanwithagraymustacheandcourtlymannersandanaddresswellcalculatedtodeceive，callinghimselfbythenameofSmith。"Don’tyoutrytogetaway——itwon’twork。
>Fromthenote—book：
Midnight。AtMissBailie’shomeforEnglishgovernesses。Twocomedies&somesongsandballads。Wasaskedtospeak&didit。
Andrunginthe"MexicanPlug。"
AVoice。"ThePrincessHohenlohewishesyoutowriteonherfan。"
"Withpleasure——whereisshe？"
"Atyourelbow。"
Iturned&tookthefan&said，"YourHighness’splaceisinafairytale；&by&byImeantowritethattale，"whereatshelaughedahappygirlishlaugh，&wemovedthroughthecrowdtogettoawriting—table——&togetinastronglightsothatIcouldseeherbetter。Beautifullittlecreature，withthedearestfriendlyways&
sincerities&simplicities&sweetnesses——theidealprincessofthefairytales。Sheis16or17，Ijudge。
MentalTelegraphy。Mrs。Clemenswaspouringoutthecoffeethismorning；IunfoldedtheNeueFreiePresse，begantoreadaparagraph&said：
"They’vefoundanewwaytotellgenuinegemsfromfalse————"
"BytheRoentgenray！"sheexclaimed。
ThatiswhatIwasgoingtosay。Shehadnotseenthepaper，&
therehadbeennotalkabouttherayorgemsbyherselforbyme。
Itwasaplaincaseoftelegraphy。
NomanthateverlivedhaseverdoneathingtopleaseGod——
primarily。Itwasdonetopleasehimself，thenGodnext。
TheBeingwhotomeistherealGodistheonewhocreatedthismajesticuniverse&rulesit。Heistheonlyoriginator，theonlyoriginatorofthoughts；thoughtssuggestedfromwithin，notfromwithout；theoriginatorofcolors&ofalltheirpossiblecombinations；offorces&thelawsthatgovernthem；offorms&
shapesofallforms—manhasneverinventedanewone。Heistheonlyoriginator。Hemadethematerialsofallthings；Hemadethelawsbywhich，&bywhichonly，manmaycombinethemintothemachines&otherthingswhichoutsideinfluencessuggesttohim。Hemadecharacter——mancanportrayitbutnot"create"it，forHeistheonlycreator。
He，istheperfectartisan，theperfectartist。
CCVI
ASUMMERINSWEDEN
ApartofthetragedyoftheirtriparoundtheworldhadbeenthedevelopmentinJeanClemensofamaladywhichtimehadidentifiedasepilepsy。Thelossofonedaughterandtheinvalidismofanotherwastheburdenwhichthishouseholdhadnowtobear。Ofcoursetheydidnotforamomentdespairofacureforthebeautifulgirlwhohadbeensocruellystricken，andtheyemployedanyagentthatpromisedrelief。
TheydecidednowtogotoLondon，inthehopeofobtainingbeneficialtreatment。TheyleftViennaattheendofMay，followedtothestationbyagreatcrowd，wholoadedtheircompartmentwithflowersandlingeredontheplatformwavingandcheering，someofthemintears，whilethetrainpulledaway。Leschetizkyhimselfwasamongthem，andWilbrandt，theauthoroftheMasterofPalmyra，andmanyartistsandothernotables，"mostofwhom，"writesMrs。Clemens，"weshallprobablyneverseeagaininthisworld。"
TheirViennasojournhadbeenoneofthemostbrilliantperiodsoftheirlife，aswellasoneofthesaddest。ThememoryofSusyhadbeenneverabsent，andthefailinghealthofJeanwasagatheringcloud。
TheystoppedadayortwoatPrague，wheretheywereinvitedbythePrinceofThurnandTaxistovisithiscastle。ItgavethemaglimpseofthecountrylifeoftheBohemiannobilitywhichwasmostinteresting。
ThePrince’schildrenwereentirelyfamiliarwithTomSawyerandHuckleberryFinn，whichtheyhadreadbothinEnglishandinthetranslation。
TheyjourneyedtoLondonbywayofCologne，arrivingbytheendofMay。
PoultneyBigelowwasthere，andhadrecentlybeentreatedwithgreatbenefitbyosteopathythenknownastheSwedishmovements，aspractisedbyHeinrickKellgrenatSanna，Sweden。ClemenswasallinterestconcerningKellgren’smethodandeagertotryitforhisdaughter’smalady。Hebelievedshecouldbebenefited，andtheymadepreparationtospendsomemonthsatleastinSanna。TheyremainedseveralweeksinLondon，wheretheywerewelcomedwithhospitalityextraordinary。TheyhadhardlyarrivedwhentheywereinvitedbyLordSalisburytoHatfieldHouse，andbyJamesBrycetoPortlandPlace，andbyCanonWilberforcetoDean’sYard。Aratheramusingincidenthappenedatoneoftheluncheon—
parties。CanonWilberforcewasthereandleftratherearly。WhenClemenswasreadytogotherewasjustonehatremaining。Itwasnothis，andhesuspected，bytheinitialsontheinside，thatitbelongedtoCanonWilberforce。However，itfittedhimexactlyandheworeitaway。
Thateveninghewrote：
PRINCEOFWALESHOTEL，DEVEREGARDENS，July，3，1899。
DEARCANONWILBERFORCE，——Itis8P。M。DuringthepastfourhoursIhavenotbeenabletotakeanythingthatdidnotbelongtome；duringallthattimeIhavenotbeenabletostretchafactbeyondthefrontiersoftruthtryasImight，&meantime，notonlymymoralshavemovedtheastonishmentofallwhohavecomeincontactwithme，butmymannershavegainedmorecomplimentsthantheyhavebeenaccustomedto。Thismysteryiscausingmyfamilymuchalarm。Itisdifficulttoaccountforit。
IfindIhaven’tmyownhat。HaveyoudevelopedanynoveltiesofconductsinceyouleftMr。Murray’s，&havetheybeenofacharactertomovetheconcernofyourfriends？Ithinkitmustbethisthathasputmeunderthishappycharm；but，ohdear！Itremblefortheotherman！
Sincerelyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。
ScarcelywasthisnoteonitswaytoWilberforcewhenthefollowingonearrived，havingcrosseditintransit：
July3，1899。
DEARMR。CLEMENS，——IhavebeenconsciousofavivacityandfacilityofexpressionthisafternoonbeyondthenormalandIhavejustdiscoveredthereason！！Ihaveseenthehistoricsignature"MarkTwain"inmyhat！！
Doubtlessyouhavebeensufferingfromacorrespondingdullness&havewonderedwhy。Idepartedprecipitately，thehatstoodonmyumbrellaandwasanewLincoln&Bennett——itfittedmeexactlyandIdidnotdiscoverthemistaketillIgotinthisafternoon。Pleaseforgiveme。Ifyoushouldbepassingthiswayto—morrowwillyoulookinandchangehats？
orshallIsendittothehotel？
Iam，verysincerelyyrs。，20Dean’sYard。BASILWILBERFORCE。
Clemenswasdemandedbyallthebohemianclubs，theWhiteFriars，theVagabonds，theSavage，theBeefsteak，andtheAuthors。Hespoketothem，andthose"MarkTwainEvenings"havebecomehistoricoccasionsineachoftheseveralinstitutionsthatgavehimwelcome。AttheVagabondshetoldthemthewatermelonstory，andattheWhiteFriarshereviewedtheolddayswhenhehadbeenelectedtothatsociety；"days，"hesaid，"whenallLondonersweretalkingaboutnothingelsethanthattheyhaddiscoveredLivingstone，andthatthelostSirRogerTichbornehadbeenfoundandtheyweretryinghimforit。"
AttheSavageClub，too，herecalledoldtimesandoldfriends，andparticularlythatfirstLondonvisit，hisdaysintheclubtwenty—sevenyearsbefore。
"Iwas6feet4inthosedays，"hesaid。"NowIam5feet81/2anddailydiminishinginaltitude，andtheshrinkageofmyprinciplesgoeson……Irvingwasherethen，isherenow。Stanleyishere，andJoeHatton，butCharlesReadeisgoneandTomHoodandHarryLeeandCanonKingsley。InthosedaysyoucouldhavecarriedKiplingaroundinalunch—basket；nowhefillstheworld。Iwasyoungandfoolishthen；nowIamoldandfoolisher。"
AttheAuthorsClubhepaidaspecialtributetoRudyardKipling，whosedangerousillnessinNewYorkCityandwhosedaughter’sdeathhadarousedtheanxietyandsympathyoftheentireAmericannation。IthaddonemuchtobringEnglandandAmericaclosertogether，Clemenssaid。Thenheaddedthathehadbeenengagedthepasteightdayscompilingapunandhadbroughtittheretolayattheirfeet，nottoaskfortheirindulgence，butfortheirapplause。Itwasthis：
"SinceEnglandandAmericahavebeenjoinedinKipling，maytheynotbeseveredinTwain。"
Hundredsofpunshadbeenmadeonhispen—name，butthiswasprobablyhisfirstandonlyattempt，anditstillremainsthebest。
TheyarrivedinSwedenearlyinJulyandremaineduntilOctober。JeanwascertainlybenefitedbytheKellgrentreatment，andtheyhadforatimethegreatesthopesofhercompleterecovery。Clemensbecameenthusiasticoverosteopathy，andwroteeloquentlytoeveryone，urgingeachtotrythegreatnewcurativewhichwascertaintorestoreuniversalhealth。HewrotelongarticlesonKellgrenandhisscience，largelyjustified，nodoubt，forcertainlymiraculousbenefitswererecorded；
thoughClemenswasnotlikelytounderestimateathingwhichappealedtobothhisimaginationandhisreason。WritingtoTwichellheconcluded，withhiscustomaryoptimismoveranynewbenefit：
Tenyearshencenosanemanwillcalladoctorexceptwhentheknifemustbeused——&suchcaseswillberare。Theeducatedphysicianwillhimselfbeanosteopath。Davewillbecomeoneafterhehasfinishedhismedicaltraining。YoungHarmonyoughttobecomeonenow。IdonotbelievethereisanydifferencebetweenKellgren’sscienceandosteopathy；butIamsendingtoAmericatofindout。I
wantosteopathytoprosper；itiscommonsense&scientific，&curesawiderrangeofailmentsthanthedoctor’smethodscanreach。
TwichellwastravelinginEuropethatsummer，andwrotefromSwitzerland：
IseemedeverandanontoseeyouandmeswingingalongthosegloriousAlpinewoods，staringatthenewunfoldingsofsplendorthateveryturnbroughtintoview—talking，talking，endlesslytalkingthedaysthrough—daysforevermemorabletome。Thatwastwenty—oneyearsago；thinkofit！Wewereyoungstersthen，Mark，andhowkeenourrelishofeverythingwas！Well，Icanenjoymyselfnow；butnotwiththatzestandrapture。Oh，alotofitemsofourtramptravelin1878thatIhadlongforgottencamebacktomeaswespedthroughthatenchantedregion，andifIwasn’tondutywithVeniceI’dstopandsetdownsomeofthem，butVenicemustbeattendedto。Foronething，thereisHowells’sbooktobereadatsuchintervalsascanbesnatchedfromthequick—timemarchonwhichourrustlingleaderkeepsus。However，inVenicesofarwewanttobegazingprettysteadilyfrommorningtillnight，andbythegraceofthegondolawecandoitwithoutexhaustion。ReallyIamdrunkwithVenice。
ButClemenswasfullofSweden。Theskiesthereandthesunsetsbethoughtsurpassedanyhehadeverknown。OnaneveninginSeptemberhewrote：
DEARJOE，——I’venobusinessinhere—Ioughttobeoutside。Ishallneverseeanothersunsettobeginwithitthissideofheaven。
Venice？land，whatapoorinterestthatis！Thisistheplacetobe。Ihaveseenabout60sunsetshere；&agood40ofthemwereaway&beyondanythingIhadeverimaginedbeforefordainty&
exquisite&marvelousbeauty&infinitechange&variety。America？
Italy？thetropics？Theyhavenonotionofwhatasunsetoughttobe。Andthisone——thisunspeakablewonder！Itdiscountsalltherest。Itbringsthetears，itissounutterablybeautiful。
ClemensreadabookduringhisstayinSwedenwhichinterestedhimdeeply。ItwastheOpenQuestion，byElizabethRobbins——afinestudyoflife’ssterneraspects。Whenhehadfinishedhewasmovedtowritetheauthorthisencouragingword：
DEARMISSROBBINS，——ArelativeofMatthewArnoldlentusyour’OpenQuestion’theotherday，andMrs。ClemensandIareinyourdebt。I
amnotabletoputinwordsmyfeelingaboutthebook——myadmirationofitsdepthandtruthandwisdomandcourage，andthefineandgreatliteraryartandgraceofthesetting。Atyourageyoucannothavelivedthehalfofthethingsthatareinthebook，norpersonallypenetratedtothedeepsitdealsin，norcovereditswidehorizonswithyourveryownvision——andso，whatisyoursecret？
howhaveyouwrittenthismiracle？Perhapsonemustconcedethatgeniushasnoyouth，butstartswiththeripenessofageandoldexperience。
Well，inanycase，Iamgratefultoyou。Ihavenotbeensoenrichedbyabookformanyyears，norsoenchantedbyone。Iseemtobeusingstronglanguage；still，Ihaveweighedit。
Sincerelyyours，S。L。CLEMENS。
CCVII
30，WELLINGTONCOURT
ClemenshimselftooktheKellgrentreatmentandreceivedagooddealofbenefit。
"Ihavecomebackinsoundconditionandbracedforwork，"hewroteMacAlister，uponhisreturntoLondon。"Along，steady，faithfulsiegeofit，andIbeginnowinfiveminutes。"
Theyhadsettledinasmallapartmentat30，WellingtonCourt，AlbertGate，wheretheycouldbeneartheLondonbranchoftheKellgreninstitution，andhehadaworkroomwithChatto&Windus，hispublishers。
Hiswork，however，wasmainlywritingspeeches，forhewasentertainedconstantly，anditseemedimpossibleforhimtoescape。Hisnote—bookbecameamerejumbleofengagements。Hedidwriteanarticleorastorynowandthen，oneofwhich，"MyFirstLie，andHowIGotOutofIt，"wasmadetheimportantChristmasfeatureofthe’NewYorkSundayWorld。’
——[NowincludedintheHadleyburgvolume；"CompleteWorks。"]
Anotherarticleofthistimewasthe"St。JoanofArc，"whichseveralyearslaterappearedinHarper’sMagazine。ThisarticlewasoriginallywrittenastheIntroductionoftheEnglishtranslationoftheofficialrecordofthetrialsandrehabilitationofJoan，thenabouttobeelaboratelyissued。ClemenswasgreatlypleasedatbeinginvitedtopreparetheIntroductionofthisimportantvolume，butasmugpersonwithpedagogicproclivitieswasinchargeofthecopyandproceededtoeditMarkTwain’smanuscript；toalteritsphrasingtoconformtohisownideasoftheQueen’sEnglish。Thenhehaditallnicelytypewritten，andreturnedittoshowhowmuchhehadimprovedit，andtoreceivethanksandcompliments。Hedidnotreceiveanythanks。Clemensrecordedafewoftheremarksthathemadewhenhesawhiseditedmanuscript：
Iwillnotdenythatmyfeelingsroseto104intheshade。"Theidea！Thatthislong—earedanimalthisliterarykangaroothisilliteratehostlerwithhisskullfullofaxle—grease——this……"
ButIstoppedthere，forthiswasnottheChristianspirit。
Hiswould—beeditorreceivedapromptordertoreturnthemanuscript，afterwhichClemenswrotealetter，someofwhichwillgoverywellhere。
DEARMR。X。，——IhaveexaminedthefirstpageofmyamendedIntroduction，——&willbeginnow&jotdownsomenotesuponyourcorrections。IfIfindanychangeswhichshallnotseemtometobeimprovementsIwillpointoutmyreasonsforthinkingso。InthiswayImaychancetobehelpfultoyou，&thusprofityouperhapsasmuchasyouhavedesiredtoprofitme。
FirstParagraph。"Jeanned’Arc。"Thisisrathercheaplypedantic，&isnotinverygoodtaste。Joanisnotknownbythatnameamongplainpeopleofourrace&tongue。InoticethatthenameoftheDeityoccursseveraltimesinthebriefinstalmentoftheTrialswhichyouhavefavoredmewith。Tobeconsistent，itwillbenecessarythatyoustrikeout"God"&putin"Dieu。"Donotneglectthis。
SecondParagraph。Nowyouhavebegunonmypunctuation。Don’tyourealizethatyououghtnottointrudeyourhelpinadelicateartlikethatwithyourlimitations？Anddoyouthinkthatyouhaveaddedjusttherightsmearofpolishtotheclosingclauseofthesentence？
ThirdParagraph。Ditto。
FourthParagraph。Yourword"directly"ismisleading；itcouldbeconstruedtomean"atonce。"Plainclarityisbetterthanornateobscurity。Inoteyoursensitivemarginalremark："RatherunkindtoFrenchfeelings——referringtoMoscow。"IndeedIhavenotbeenconcerningmyselfaboutFrenchfeelings，butonlyaboutstatingthefacts。IhavesaidseveraluncourteousthingsabouttheFrench——
callingthema"nationofingrates"inoneplace——butyouhavebeensobusyeditingcommas&semicolonsthatyouoverlookedthem&
failedtogetscaredatthem。ThenextparagraphendswithaslurattheFrench，butIhavereasonsforthinkingyoumistookitforacompliment。Itisdiscouragingtotrytopenetrateamindlikeyours。Yououghttogetitout&danceonit。
Thatwouldtakesomeoftherigidityoutofit。Andyououghttouseitsometimes；thatwouldhelp。Ifyouhaddonethiseverynow&
thenalongthroughlifeitwouldnothavepetrified。
FifthParagraph。ThusfarIregardthisasyourmasterpiece！Youarereallyperfectinthegreatartofreducingsimple&dignifiedspeechtoclumsy&vapidcommonplace。
SixthParagraph。Youhaveasingularlyfine&aristocraticdisrespectforhomely&unpretendingEnglish。EverytimeIuse"goback"yougetoutyourpolisher&slickitupto"return。""Return"
issuitedonlytothedrawing—room——itisducal，&saysitselfwithasimper&asmirk。
SeventhParagraph。"Permission"isducal。Ducalandaffected。
"Her"greatdayswerenot"over，"theywereonlyhalfover。Didn’tyouknowthat？Haven’tyoureadanythingatallaboutJoanofArc？
Thetruthisyoudonotpayanyattention；Itoldyouonmyveryfirstpagethatthepublicpartofhercareerlastedtwoyears，&
youhaveforgottenitalready。Youreallymustgetyourmindoutandhaveitrepaired；youseeyourselfthatitisallcakedtogether。
EighthParagraph。She"rodeawaytoassault&captureastronghold。"Verywell；butyoudonottelluswhethershesucceededornot。Youshouldnotworrythereaderwithuncertaintieslikethat。Iwillremindyouoncemorethatclarityisagoodthinginliterature。Anapprenticecannotdobetterthankeepthisusefulruleinmind。
NinthParagraph。"Known"history。Thatwordhasapolishwhichistooindelicateforme；theredoesn’tseemtobeanysenseinit。
Thiswouldhavesurprisedmelastweek……"Breakingalance"isaknightly&sumptuousphrase，&I
honoritforitshoaryage&forthefaithfulserviceithasdoneintheprize—compositionoftheschool—girl，butIhaveceasedfromemployingitsinceIgotmypuberty，&mustsolemnlyobjecttofatheringithere。And，besides，itmakesmehintthatIhavebrokenoneofthosethingsbeforeinhonoroftheMaid，anintimationnotjustifiedbythefacts。Ididnotbreakanylancesorotherfurniture；Ionlywroteabookabouther。
Trulyyours，MARKTWAIN。
Itcostmesomethingtorestrainmyselfandsaythesesmooth&half—
flatteringthingsofthisimmeasurableidiot，butIdidit，&haveneverregrettedit。Foritishigher&noblertobekindtoevenashadlikehimthanjust……Icouldhavesaidhundredsofunpleasantthingsaboutthistadpole，butIdidnotevenfeelthem。
Yet，intheend，heseemsnottohavesenttheletter。Writingithadservedeverypurpose。
Animportantpublishingeventof1899wastheissuebytheAmericanPublishingCompanyofMarkTwain’s"CompleteWorksinUniformEdition。"
Clemenshadlookedforwardtothedaywhenthisshouldbedone，perhapsfeelingthatanassemblingofhisliteraryfamilyinsymmetricaldressconstitutedasortofofficialrecognitionofhisauthorship。BranderMatthewswasselectedtowritetheIntroductionandpreparedafine"BiographicalCriticism，"whichpleasedClemens，thoughperhapshedidnotentirelyagreewithitsviews。Himselfofadifferentcastofmind，heneverthelessadmiredMatthews。
WritingtoTwichellhesaid：
Whenyousay，"IlikeBranderMatthews，heimpressesmeasamanofparts&power，"Ibackyou，rightuptothehub——Ifeelthesameway。AndwhenyousayhehasearnedyourgratitudeforcuffingmeformycrimesagainsttheLeather—stockings&theVicarIain’tmakinganyobjection。Dernyourgratitude！
Hisarticleisassoundasanut。Branderknowsliterature&lovesit；hecantalkaboutit&keephistemper；hecanstatehiscasesolucidly&sofairly&soforciblythatyouhavetoagreewithhimevenwhenyoudon’tagreewithhim；&hecandiscover&praisesuchmeritsasabookhasevenwhentheyaremerelyhalfadozendiamondsscatteredthroughanacreofmud。Andsohehasarighttobeacritic。
Todetailjusttheoppositeoftheaboveinvoiceistodescribeme。
Ihaven’tanyrighttocriticizebooks，&Idon’tdoitexceptwhenIhatethem。IoftenwanttocriticizeJaneAusten，butherbooksmaddenmesothatIcan’tconcealmyfrenzyfromthereader；&
thereforeIhavetostopeverytimeIbegin。’——[OnceatadinnergiventoMatthews，MarkTwainmadeaspeechwhichconsistedalmostentirelyofintonationsofthename"BranderMatthews"toexpressvariousshadesofhumanemotion。Itwouldbehopeless，ofcourse，toattempttoconveyinprintanyideaofthiseffort，which，bythosewhoheardit，issaidtohavebeenamasterpieceofvocalization。]
Clemensalsointroducedthe"UniformEdition"withanAuthor’sPreface，thejurisdictionofwhich，hesaid，was"restrictedtofurnishingreasonsforthepublicationofthecollectionasawhole。"
Thisisnoteasytodo。AsidefromtheordinarycommercialreasonsIfindnonethatIcanofferwithdignity：Icannotsaywithoutimmodestythatthebookshavemerit；Icannotsaywithoutimmodestythatthepublicwanta"UniformEdition"；Icannotsaywithoutimmodestythata"UniformEdition"willturnthenationtowardhighideals&elevatedthought；Icannotsaywithoutimmodestythata"UniformEdition"willeradicatecrime，thoughIthinkitwill。I
findnoreasonthatIcanofferwithoutimmodestyexcepttheratherpooronethatIshouldliketoseea"UniformEdition"myself。Itisnothing；acatcouldsayitaboutherkittens。Still，IbelieveIwillstanduponthat。IhavetohaveaPreface&areason，bylawofcustom，&thereasonwhichIamputtingforwardisatleastwithoutoffense。
CCVIII
MARKTWAINANDTHEWARS
EnglishtroublesinSouthAfricacametoaheadthatautumn。OnthedaywhenEngland’sultimatumtotheBoersexpiredClemenswrote：
LONDON，3。07P。m。，Wednesday，October11，1899。Thetimeisup！
Withoutadoubtthefirstshotinthewarisbeingfiredto—dayinSouthAfricaatthismoment。Somemanhadtobethefirsttofall；
hehasfallen。Whoseheartisbrokenbythismurder？For，beheBoerorbeheBriton，itismurder，&EnglandcommitteditbythehandofChamberlain&theCabinet，thelackeysofCecilRhodes&hisFortyThieves，theSouthAfricaCompany。
MarkTwainwouldnaturallysympathizewiththeBoer——theweakerside，themandefendinghishome。HeknewthatforthesakeofhumanprogressEnglandmustconquerandmustbeupheld，buthisheartwasalltheotherway。InJanuary，1900，hewroteacharacteristiclettertoTwichell，whichconveysprettyconclusivelyhissentimentsconcerningthetwowarstheninprogress。
DEARJOE，——ApparentlywearenotproposingtosettheFilipinosfree&givetheirislandstothem；&apparentlywearenotproposingtohangthepriests&confiscatetheirproperty。Ifthesethingsaresothewarouttherehasnointerestforme。
IhavejustbeenexaminingChapterLXXofFollowingtheEquatortoseeiftheBoer’soldmilitaryeffectivenessisholdingout。Itreadscuriouslyasifithadbeenwrittenaboutthepresentwar。
IbelievethatinthenextchaptermynotionoftheBoerwasrightlyconceived。Heispopularlycalleduncivilized；Idonotknowwhy。
Happiness，food，shelter，clothing，wholesomelabor，modest&
rationalambitions，honesty，kindliness，hospitality，loveoffreedom&limitlesscouragetofightforit，composure&fortitudeintimeofdisaster，patienceintimeofhardship&privation，absenceofnoise&bragintimeofvictory，contentmentwithhumble&peacefullifevoidofinsaneexcitements——ifthereisahigher&
betterformofcivilizationthanthisIamnotawareofit&donotknowwheretolookforit。Isupposethatwehavethehabitofimaginingthatalotofartistic&intellectual&otherartificialitiesmustbeaddedoritisn’tcomplete。We&theEnglishhavetheselatter；butaswelackthegreatbulkofthoseothersIthinktheBoercivilizationisthebestofthetwo。Myideaofourcivilizationisthatitisashoddy，poorthing&fullofcruelties，vanities，arrogancies，meannesses，&hypocrisies。
Providedwecouldgetsomethingbetterintheplaceofit。Butthatisnotpossibleperhaps。Poorasitis，itisbetterthanrealsavagery，thereforewemuststandbyit，extendit，&inpublic
praiseit。AndsowemustnotutteranyhurtfulwordaboutEnglandinthesedays，norfailtohopethatshewillwininthiswar，forherdefeat&fallwouldbeanirremediabledisasterforthemangyhumanrace。Naturally，then，IamforEngland；butsheisprofoundlyinthewrong，Joe，&noinstructedEnglishmandoubtsit。Atleastthatismybelief。
WritingtoHowellssomewhatlater，hecallstheconflictinSouthAfrica，a"sordidandcriminalwar，"andsaysthateverydayheiswritinginhisheadbittermagazinearticlesagainstit。
ButIhavetostopwiththat。Evenifwrong——&sheiswrongEnglandmustbeupheld。Heisanenemyofthehumanracewhoshallspeakagainsthernow。Whywasthehumanracecreated？Oratleastwhywasn’tsomethingcreditablecreatedinplaceofit？……Italkthewarwithbothsides——alwayswaitinguntiltheothermanintroducesthetopic。ThenIsay，"MyheadiswiththeBriton，butmyheart&suchragsofmoralsasIhavearewiththeBoer——nowwewilltalk，unembarrassedandwithoutprejudice。"Andsowediscuss&havenotrouble。
InoticethatGodisonbothsidesinthiswar；thushistoryrepeatsitself。ButIamtheonlypersonwhohasnoticedthis；everybodyherethinksHeisplayingthegameforthisside，&forthissideonly。
ClemenswroteonearticleforanonymouspublicationintheTimes。ButwhenthemanuscriptwasreadytomailinanenvelopestampedandaddressedtoMoberlyBell——hereconsideredandwithheldit。Itstillliesintheenvelopewiththeaccompanyingletter，whichsays：
Don’tgivemeaway，whetheryouprintitornot。ButIthinkyououghttoprintitandgetupasquabble，fortheweatherisjustsuitable。
CCIX
PLASMON，ANDANEWMAGAZINE
Clemenswasnotwhollyweddedtoosteopathy。Thefinancialinterestwhichhehadtakeninthenewmilkalbumen，"afoodforinvalids，"tendedtodividehisfaithandmakehimuncertainastowhichwastobethechiefpanaceaforallills——osteopathyorplasmon。
MacAlister，whowasdeeplyinterestedintheplasmonfortunes，wasanxioustogettheproductadoptedbythearmy。Hebelieved，ifhecouldgetaninterviewwiththeMedicalDirector—General，hecouldconvincehimofitsmerits。DiscussingthematterwithClemens，thelattersaid：
"MacAlister，youaregoingatitfromthewrongend。Youcan’tgodirecttothatman，aperfectstranger，andconvincehimofanything。Whoishisnearestfriend？"
MacAlisterknewamanontermsofsocialintimacywiththeofficial。
Clemenssaid，"ThatisthemantospeaktotheDirector—General。"
"ButIdon’tknowhim，either，"saidMacAlister。
"Verygood。Doyouknowanyonewhodoesknowhim？"
"Yes，Iknowhismostintimatefriend。"
"Thenheisthemanforyoutoapproach。Convincehimthatplasmoniswhatthearmyneeds，thatthemilitaryhospitalsaresufferingforit。
LethimunderstandthatwhatyouwantistogetthistotheDirector—
General，andinduetimeitwillgettohimintheproperway。You’llsee。"
Thisprovedtobeatrueprophecy。ItwasonlyalittlewhileuntiltheBritisharmyhadexperimentedwithplasmonandadoptedit。MacAlisterreportedthesuccessoftheschemetoClemens，andoutofitgrewthestoryentitled，"TwoLittleTales，"publishedinNovemberofthefollowingyear1901intheCenturyMagazine。Perhapsthereaderwillrememberthatinthe"TwoLittleTales"theEmperorisveryillandthelowestofallhissubjectsknowsacertainremedy，buthecannotseektheEmperordirect，sohewiselyapproacheshimthroughaseriesofprogressivestages——finallyreachingandcuringhisstrickenMajesty。
Clemenshadthecourageofhisinvestments。Headoptedplasmonashisowndailyfood，andinducedvariousmembersofthefamilytotakeitinitsmorepalatableforms，oneofthesebeingapreparationofchocolate。
Hekeptthereading—tablebyhisbedwellstockedwithavarietyoftheproductsandinvitedvariouscallerstotryacomplimentarysamplelot。
Itwasreallyanexcellentandharmlessdiet，andboththecompanyanditspatientswouldseemtohaveprospered——perhapsareprosperingstill。
Therewasanotherbusinessopportunitycamealongjustatthistime。
S。S。McClurewasinEnglandwithapropositionforstartinganewmagazinewhosecomplexionwastobepeculiarlyAmerican，withMarkTwainasitseditor。Themagazinewastobecalled’TheUniversal’，andbythepropositionClemenswastoreceiveatenthinterestinitforhisfirstyear’swork，andanaddedtwentiethinterestforeachofthetwosucceedingyears，withaguaranteethathissharesshouldnotearnhimlessthanfivethousanddollarsthefirstyear，withaproportionateincreaseashisholdingsgrew。
TheschemeappealedtoClemens，itbeingunderstoodinthebeginningthathewastogiveverylittletimetothework，withtheprivilegeofdoingitathishome，whereverthatmighthappentobe。HewroteofthemattertoMr。Rogers，explainingindetail，andRogersreplied，approvingtheplan。Mr。Rogerssaidheknewthathe[Rogers]wouldhavetodomostoftheworkineditingthemagazine，andfurtheradded：
OnethingIshallinsistupon，however，ifIhaveanythingtodowiththematter，anditisthis：thatwhenyouhavemadeupyourmindonthesubjectyouwillsticktoit。Ihavenotfoundinyourcompositionthatelementofstubbornnesswhichisaconstantsourceofembarrassmenttomeinallfriendlyandsocialways，butwhich，whenappliedtocertainlinesofbusiness，bringsinthedollarandfifty—centpieces。Ifyouaccepttheposition，ofcoursethatmeansthatyouhavetocometothiscountry。Ifyoudo，theyachtingwillbeasuccess。
TherewasconsiderablecorrespondencewithMcClureoverthenewperiodical。InoneletterClemenssetforthhisgeneralviewsofthematterquiteclearly：
Letusnotdeceiveanyone，norallowanyonetodeceivehimself，ifitcanbeprevented。Thisisnottobecomicmagazine。Itistobesimplyagood，clean，wholesomecollectionofwell—written&
enticingliteraryproducts，liketheothermagazinesofitsclass；
notsettingitselftopleasebutoneofman’smoods，butallofthem。Itwillnotplaybutonekindofmusic，butallkinds。I
shouldnotbeabletoeditacomicperiodicalsatisfactorily，forlackofinterestinthework。Ivaluehumorhighly，&amconstitutionallyfondofit，butIshouldnotlikeitasasteadydiet。Foritsownbestinterests，humorshouldtakeitsoutingsingravecompany；itscheerfuldressgetsheightenedcolorfromtheproximityofsoberhues。Formetoeditacomicmagazinewouldbeanincongruity&outofcharacter，forofthetwenty—threebookswhichIhavewritteneighteendonotdealinhumorastheirchiefsfeature，butarehalf&halfadmixturesoffun&seriousness。I
thinkIhaveseldomdeliberatelysetouttobehumorous，buthavenearlyalwaysallowedthehumortodropinorstayout，accordingtoitsfancy。AlthoughIhavemanytimesbeenaskedtowritesomethinghumorousforaneditororapublisherIhavehadwisdomenoughtodecline；apersoncouldhardlybehumorouswiththeothermanwatchinghimlikethat。Ihavenevertriedtowriteahumorouslecture；Ihaveonlytriedtowriteseriousones——itistheonlywaynottosucceed。
Ishallwriteforthismagazineeverytimethespiritmovesme；butIlookformylargestentertainmentinediting。Ihavebeeneditedbyallkindsofpeopleformorethanthirty—eightyears；therehasalwaysbeensomebodyinauthorityovermymanuscript&privilegedtoimproveit；thishasfatiguedmeagooddeal，&Ihaveoftenlongedtomoveupfromthedocktothebench&restmyselfandfatigueothers。Myopportunityiscome，butIhopeIshallnotabuseitovermuch。Imeantodomybesttomakeagoodmagazine；Imeantodomywholeduty，¬shirkanypartofit。Thereareplentyofdistinguishedartists，novelists，poets，story—tellers，philosophers，scientists，explorers，fighters，hunters，followersofthesea，&seekersofadventure；&withthesetodothehard&thevaluablepartoftheworkwiththepen&thepencilitwillbecomfort&joytometowalkthequarter—deck&superintend。
MeanwhileMcClure’senthusiasmhadhadtimetoadjustitselftocertainexistingfacts。SomethingmorethanamonthlaterhewrotefromAmericaatconsiderablelength，settingforththevariouseditorialdutiesandlayingstressuponthefeatureofintimatephysicalcontactwiththemagazine。Hewentintothematteroftheprintingschedule，thevariouskindsofpaperused，theadvertisingpages，illustrations——intoallthedetail，indeed，whichapracticalmanagingeditormustcompassinhisdailyrounds。ItwasprettyevidentthatClemenswouldnotbeabletogosailingaboutonMr。Rogers’syachtorliveatwillinLondonorNewYorkorViennaorElmira，butthathewouldbemoreorlessharnessedtoarevolvingchairataneditorialdesk，thethingwhichofallfateshewouldbemostlikelytodreadTheschemeappearstohavediedthere——thecorrespondencetohaveclosed。
SomewhatoftheinducementintheMcClureschemehadbeenthethoughtinClemens’smindthatitwouldbringhimbacktoAmerica。InalettertoMr。RogersJanuary8，1900hesaid，"Iamtiredtodeathofthiseverlastingexile。"Mrs。Clemensoftenwrotethathewasrestlesslyimpatienttoreturn。Theywere，infact，constantlydiscussingthepracticabilityofreturningtotheirowncountrynowandopeningtheHartfordhome。Clemenswasreadytodothatortofallinwithanyplanthatwouldbringhimacrossthewaterandsettlehimsomewherepermanently。Hewastiredofthewanderinglifetheyhadbeenleading。
Besidesthelongtripof’95and’96theyhadmovedtwoorthreetimesayearregularlysinceleavingHartford，nineyearsbefore。Itseemedtohimthattheywerealwayspackingandunpacking。
"Thepoormaniswillingtoliveanywhereifwewillonlylethim’stayput，"wroteMrs。Clemens，buthedidwanttosettleinhisownland。
Mrs。Clemens，too，waswearywithwandering，buttheHartfordhomenolongerheldanyattractionforher。Therehadbeenatimewhenhereveryletterdweltontheirhopeofreturningtoit。Nowthethoughtfilledherwithdread。Tohersistershewrote：
DoyouthinkwecanlivethroughthefirstgoingintothehouseinHartford？Ifeelifwehadgottenthroughthefirstthreemonthsallmightbewell，butconsiderthefirstnight。
Thethoughtoftheresponsibilityofthatgreathouse——thetakingupagainoftheoldlife—disheartenedher，too。Shehadaddedyearsandshehadnotgainedinhealthorstrength。
WhenIwascomparativelyyoungIfoundtheburdenofthathouseverygreat。Idon’tthinkIwaseverfittedforhousekeeping。Idislikethepracticalpartofitsomuch。Ihateitwhentheservantsdon’tdowell，andIhatethecorrectingthem。
Yetnooneeverhadbetterdisciplineinherdomesticaffairsorevercommandedmoredevotedservice。Herstrengthofcharacterandtheproportionsofherachievementshowlargewhenweconsiderthisconfession。
Theyplannedtoreturninthespring，butpostponedthedateforsailing。
JeanwasstillunderKellgren’streatment，and，thoughacurehadbeenpromisedher，progresswasdiscouraginglyslow。TheybegantolookaboutforsummerquartersinornearLondon。
CCX
LONDONSOCIALAFFAIRS
AllthistimeClemenshadbeentossingontheLondonsocialtide。Therewasacallforhimeverywhere。NodistinguishedvisitorofwhateverprofessionorrankbutmustmeetMarkTwain。TheKingofSwedenwasamonghisroyalconquestsofthatseason。
Hewasmorehappywithmenofhisownkind。HewasoftenwithMoberlyBell，editoroftheTimes；E。A。Abbey，thepainter；SirHenryLucy，ofPunchToby，M。P。；JamesBryce，andHerbertGladstone；andtherewereanumberofbrilliantIrishmenwhowerehisspecialdelight。OncewithMrs。Clemenshedinedwiththeauthorofhisoldfavorite，’EuropeanMorals’，WilliamE。H。Lecky。LadyGregorywasthereandSirDennisFitz—Patrick；whohadbeenGovernor—GeneralatLahorewhentheywereinIndia，andanumberofotherIrishladiesandgentlemen。Itwasamemorableevening。ToTwichellClemenswrote：
Joe，doyouknowtheIrishgentleman&theIrishlady，theScotchgentleman&theScotchlady？Thesearedarlings，everyone。NightbeforelastitwasallIrish——24。Onewouldhavetotravelfartomatchtheirease&sociability&animation&sparkle&absenceofshyness&self—consciousness。ItwasAmericaninthesefinequalities。ThiswasatMr。Lecky’s。HeisIrish，youknow。LastnightitwasIrishagain，atLadyGregory’s。LordRobertsisIrish，&SirWilliamButler，&Kitchener，Ithink，&adisproportionoftheotherprominentgeneralsareofIrish&ScotchbreedkeepingupthetraditionsofWellington&SirColinCampbell，oftheMutiny。YouwillhavenoticedthatinS。A。，asintheMutiny，itisusuallytheIrish&Scotchthatareplacedintheforefrontofthebattle……
SirWilliamButlersaid，"theCeltisthespearheadoftheBritishlance。"
HementionsthenewsfromtheAfricanwar，whichhadbeenfavorabletoEngland，andwhatachangehadcomeovereverythinginconsequence。Thedinner—partieshadbeenlodgesofsorrowanddepressing。Noweverybodywassmilingagain。Inanote—bookentryofthistimehewrote：
ReliefofMafekingMay18，1900。Thenewscameat9。17P。M。
Before10allLondonwasinthestreets，gonemadwithjoy。BythenthenewswasallovertheAmericancontinent。
ClemenshadbeentalkingcopyrightagooddealinLondon，andintroducingitintohisspeeches。Finally，onedayhewassummonedbeforeacommitteeoftheHouseofLordstoexplainhisviews。Hisoldideathattheproductofaman’sbrainishispropertyinperpetuityandnotforanytermofyearshadnotchanged，andtheypermittedhimtodilateonthistothemcuriousdoctrine。ThecommitteeconsistedofLordsMonkswell，Knutsford，Avebury，Farrar，andThwing。Whentheyaskedforhisviewshesaid：
"InmyopinionthecopyrightlawsofEnglandandAmericaneedonlytheremovaloftheforty—two—yearlimitandthereturntoperpetualcopyrighttobeperfect。Iconsiderthatatleastoneofthereasonsadvancedinjustificationoflimitedcopyrightisfallacious——namely，theonewhichmakesadistinctionbetweenanauthor’spropertyandrealestate，andpretendsthatthetwoarenotcreated，produced，oracquiredinthesameway，thuswarrantingadifferenttreatmentofthetwobylaw。"
Continuing，hedweltontheancientdoctrinethattherewasnopropertyinanidea，showinghowthefargreaterproportionofallpropertyconsistedofnothingmorethanelaboratedideas——thesteamship，locomotive，telephone，thevastbuildingsintheworld，howallofthesehadbeenconstructeduponabasicideapreciselyasabookisconstructed，andwerepropertyonlyasabookisproperty，andthereforerightlysubjecttothesamelaws。Hewascarefullyandsearchinglyexaminedbythatshrewdcommittee。Hekeptthementertainedandinterestedandleftthemingood—nature，evenifnotentirelyconverted。
Thepapersprintedhisremarks，andLondonfoundthemamusing。
Afewdaysafterthecopyrightsession，Clemens，respondingtothetoast，"Literature，"attheRoyalLiteraryFundBanquet，madeLondonlaughagain，andearlyinJunehewasattheSavoyHotelwelcomingSirHenryIrvingbacktoEnglandafteroneofhissuccessfulAmericantours。
OntheFourthofJuly1900ClemensdinedwiththeLordChief—Justice，andlaterattendedanAmericanbanquetattheHotelCecil。Hearrivedlate，whenanumberoftheguestswerealreadygoing。Theyinsisted，however，thathemakeaspeech，whichhedid，andconsideredtheeveningended。Itwasnotquiteover。Asequeltohis"Luck"story，publishednineyearsbefore，suddenlydeveloped。
Togobackalittle，thereadermayrecallthat"Luck"wasastorywhichTwichellhadtoldhimasbeingsupposedlytrue。Theheroofitwasamilitaryofficerwhohadrisentothehighestrankthroughwhatatleastseemedtobesheerluck，includinganumberoffortunateblunders。
Clemensthoughtthestoryimprobable，butwroteitandlaiditawayforseveralyears，offeringitatlastinthegeneralhouse—cleaningwhichtookplaceafterthefirstcollapseofthemachine。ItwaspublishedinHarper’sMagazineforAugust，1891，andsomethinglessthanayearlater，inRome，anEnglishgentleman——anewacquaintance——saidtohim：
"Mr。Clemens，shallyougotoEngland？"
"Verylikely。"
"Shallyoutakeyourtomahawkwithyou？"
"Why——yes，ifitshallseembest。"
"Well，itwill。Beadvised。Takeitwithyou。"
"Why？"
"Becauseofthatsketchofyoursentitled’Luck。’ThatsketchiscurrentinEngland，andyouwillsurelyneedyourtomahawk。"
"Whatmakesyouthinkso？"
"Ithinksobecausetheheroofthesketchwillnaturallywantyourscalp，andwillprobablyapplyforit。Beadvised。Takeyourtomahawkalong。"
"Why，evenwithitIsha’n’tstandanychance，becauseIsha’n’tknowhimwhenheapplies，andhewillhavemyscalpbeforeIknowwhathiserrandis。"
"Come，doyoumeantosaythatyoudon’tknowwhotheheroofthatsketchis？"
"IndeedIhaven’tanyideawhotheheroofthesketchis。Whoisit？"
Hisinformanthesitatedamoment，thennamedanameofworld—widemilitarysignificance。
AsMaskTwainfinishedhisFourthofJulyspeechattheCecilandstartedtositdownasplendidlyuniformedanddecoratedpersonageathissidesaid：
"Mr。Clemens，Ihavebeenwantingtoknowyoualongtime，"andhewaslookingdownintothefaceoftheheroof"Luck。"
"Iwascaughtunprepared，"hesaidinhisnotesofit。"Ididn’tsitdown——Ifelldown。Ididn’thavemytomahawk，andIdidn’tknowwhatwouldhappen。Buthewas，composed，andprettysoonIgotcomposedandwehadagood，friendlytime。Ifhehadeverheardofthatsketchofminehedidnotmanifestitinanyway，andattwelve，midnight，Itookmyscalphomeintact。"
CCXI
DOLLISHILLANDHOME
ItwasearlyinJuly，1900，thattheyremovedtoDollisHillHouse，abeautifuloldresidencesurroundedbytreesonapeacefulhilltop，justoutsideofLondon。Itwasliterallywithinastone’s—throwofthecitylimits，yetitwasquiterural，forthecityhadnotovergrownitthen，anditretainedallitspastoralfeatures——apondwithlily—pads，thespreadingoaks，thewidespacesofgrassylawn。Gladstone，anintimatefriendoftheowner，hadmadeitafavoriteretreatatoneperiodofhislife，andtheplaceto—dayisconvertedintoapublicgardencalledGladstonePark。TheoldEnglishdiplomatusedtodriveoutandsitintheshadeofthetreesandreadandtalkandtranslateHomer，andpacethelawnasheplanneddiplomacy，and，ineffect，governtheEnglishempirefromthatretiredspot。
Clemens，insomememorandamadeatthemoment，doubtsifGladstonewasalwaysatpeaceinhismindinthisretirement。
"Washealwaysreallytranquilwithin，"hesays，"orwasheonlyexternallyso——foreffect？Wecannotknow；weonlyknowthathisrusticbenchunderhisfavoriteoakhasnobarkonitsarms。Factslikethisspeaklouderthanwords。"
Thered—brickresidentialwaveofLondonwasstillsomedistanceawayin1900。Clemenssays：
Therollingseaofgreengrassstillstretchesawayoneveryhand，splotcheswithshadowsofspreadingoaksinwhoseblackcoolnessflocksofsheepliepeacefullydreaming。Dreamingofwhat？ThattheyareinLondon，themetropolisoftheworld，Post—officeDistrict，N。W。？Indeedno。Theyarenotawareofit。Iamawareofit，butthatisall。Itisnotpossibletorealizeit。Forthereisnosuggestionofcityhere；itiscountry，pure&simple，&asstill&reposefulasisthebottomofthesea。
TheyalllovedDollisHill。Mrs。Clemenswroteasifshewouldliketoremainforeverinthatsecludedspot。
Itissimplydivinelybeautiful&peaceful；……thegreatoldtreesarebeyondeverything。IbelievenowhereintheworlddoyoufindsuchtreesasinEngland……Jeanhasahammockswungbetweentwosuchgreattrees，&ontheothersideofalittlepond，whichisfullofwhite&yellowpond—lilies，thereistallgrass&
trees&Clara&Jeangothereintheafternoons，spreaddownarugonthegrassintheshade&read&sleep。
TheyallspentmostoftheirtimeoutdoorsatDollisHillunderthosespreadingtrees。
ClemenstoTwichellinmidsummerwrote：
Iamtheonlypersonwhoiseverinthehouseinthedaytime，butI
amworking&deepintheluxuryofit。Butthereisonetremendousdefect。Livyisallsoenchantedwiththeplace&soinlovewithitthatshedoesn’tknowhowsheisgoingtotearherselfawayfromit。
MuchcompanycametothematDollisHill。FriendsdroveoutfromLondon，andfriendsfromAmericacameoften，amongthem——theSages，Prof。
WillardFiske，andBranderMatthewswithhisfamily。Suchcallerswereservedwithteaandrefreshmentonthelawn，andlingered，talkingandtalking，whilethesungotlowerandtheshadowslengthened，reluctanttoleavethatidyllicspot。
"DollisHillcomesnearertobeingaparadisethananyotherhomeIeveroccupied，"hewrotewhenthesummerwasaboutover。
ButtherewasstillagreaterattractionthanDollisHill。Towardtheendofsummertheywillinglyleftthatparadise，fortheyhaddecidedatlasttomakethathome—returningvoyagewhichhadinvitedthemsolong。
Theywerealleagerenoughtogo——Clemensmoreeagerthantherest，thoughhefeltacertainsadness，too，inleavingthetranquilspotwhichinabriefsummertheyhadsolearnedtolove。
WritingtoW。H。Helm，aLondonnewspapermanwhohadspentpleasanthourswithhimchattingintheshade，hesaid：……Thepacking&fussing&arranginghavebegun，fortheremovaltoAmerica&，byconsequence，thepeaceoflifeismarred&
itscontents&satisfactionsaredeparting。Thereisnotmuchchoicebetweenaremoval&afuneral；infact，aremovalisafuneral，substantially，&Iamtiredofattendingthem。
TheyclosedDollisHill，spentafewdaysatBrown’sHotel，andsailedforAmerica，ontheMinnehaha，October6，1900，bidding，asClemensbelieved，andhoped，apermanentgood—bytoforeigntravel。TheyreachedNewYorkonthe15th，triumphantlywelcomedaftertheirlongnineyearsofwandering。HowgladMarkTwainwastogethomemaybejudgedfromhisremarktooneofthemanyreporterswhogreetedhim。
"IfIevergetashoreIamgoingtobreakbothofmylegssoI
can’t，getawayagain。"
EndMarkTwain，ABiography，1900—1907
ByAlbertBigelowPaineVOLUMEIII，Part1：1900—1907
CCXII
THERETURNOFTHECONQUEROR
ItwouldbehardtoexaggeratethestirwhichthenewspapersandthepublicgenerallymadeoverthehomecomingofMarkTwain。HehadleftAmerica，staggeringunderheavyobligationandsetoutonapilgrimageofredemption。AtthemomentwhenthisMecca，wasinviewagreatsorrowhadbefallenhimand，stirredaworld—wideandsoul—deeptideofhumansympathy。Thentherehadfollowedsuchovationashasseldombeenconferreduponaprivatecitizen，andnowapproachingoldage，stillinthefullnessofhismentalvigor，hehadreturnedtohisnativesoilwiththeprestigeofthesehonorsuponhimandthevastaddedgloryofhavingmadehisfinancialfightsingle—handed—andwon。
Hewasheraldedliterallyasaconqueringhero。Everypaperinthelandhadaneditorialtellingthestoryofhisdebts，hissorrow，andhistriumphs。
"HehadbehavedlikeWalterScott，"saysHowells，"asmillionsrejoicedtoknowwhohadnotknownhowWalterScotthadbehavedtilltheyknewitwaslikeClemens。"
HowellsacknowledgesthathehadsomedoubtsastothepermanencyofthevastacclaimoftheAmericanpublic，remembering，orperhapsassuming，anationalfickleness。SaysHowells：
HehadhithertobeenmoreintelligentlyacceptedormorelargelyimaginedinEurope，andIsupposeitwasmysenseofthisthatinspiredthestupidityofmysayingtohimwhenwecametoconsider"thestateofpolitelearning"amongus，"Youmustn’texpectpeopletokeepituphereastheydoinEngland。"Butitappearedthathiscountrymenwereonlywantingthechance，andtheykeptitupinhonorofhimpastallprecedent。
ClemenswenttotheEarlingtonHotelandbegansearchforafurnishedhouseinNewYork。TheywouldnotreturntoHartford——atleastnotyet。
Theassociationstherewerestilltoosad，andtheyimmediatelybecamemoreso。FivedaysafterMarkTwain’sreturntoAmerica，hisoldfriendandco—worker，CharlesDudleyWarner，died。ClemenswenttoHartfordtoactasapall—bearerandwhiletherelookedintotheoldhome。ToSylvesterBaxter，ofBoston，whohadbeenpresent，hewroteafewdayslater：
Itwasagreatpleasuretometorenewtheotherdayswithyou，&
therewasapatheticpleasureinseeingHartford&thehouseagain；
butIrealizedthatifweeverenterthehouseagaintoliveourheartswillbreak。Iamnotsurethatweshalleverbestrongenoughtoendurethatstrain。
EvenifthesurroundingshadbeenlesssorrowfulitisnotlikelythatClemenswouldhavereturnedtoHartfordatthistime。Hehadbecomeaworld—character，adwellerincapitals。Everywherehemovedaworldrevolvedabouthim。SuchafigureinGermanywouldlivenaturallyinBerlin；inEnglandLondon；inFrance，Paris；inAustria，Vienna；inAmericahisheadquarterscouldonlybeNewYork。
Clemensempoweredcertainofhisfriendstofindahomeforhim，andMr。
FrankN。Doubledaydiscoveredanattractiveandhandsomelyfurnishedresidenceat14WestTenthStreet，whichwaspromptlyapproved。
Doubleday，whowasgoingtoBoston，leftorderswiththeagenttodrawtheleaseandtakeituptothenewtenantforsignature。ToClemenshesaid：
"Thehouseisasgoodasyours。Allyou’vegottodoistosignthelease。Youcanconsideritallsettled。"
WhenDoubledayreturnedfromBostonafewdayslatertheagentcalledonhimandcomplainedthathecouldn’tfindMarkTwainanywhere。Itwasreportedathishotelthathehadgoneandleftnoaddress。Doubledaywasmystified；then，reflecting，hehadaninspiration。Hewalkedoverto14WestTenthStreetandfoundwhathehadsuspected——MarkTwainhadmovedin。Hehadconvincedthecaretakerthateverythingwasallrightandhewasquiteathome。Doubledaysaid：
"Why，youhaven’texecutedtheleaseyet。"
"No，"saidClemens，"butyousaidthehousewasasgoodasmine，"towhichDoubledayagreed，butsuggestedthattheygouptothereal—estateofficeandgivetheagentnoticethathewasinpossessionofthepremises。
Doubleday’stroubleswerenotquiteover，however。ClemensbegantofinddefectsinhisnewhomeandassumedtoholdDoubledayresponsibleforthem。Hesentadailypostalcardcomplainingofthewindows，furnace，therange，thewater—whateverhethoughtmightlendinteresttoDoubleday’slife。Asamatteroffact，hewaspleasedwiththeplace。
ToMacAlisterhewrote：
Wewereveryluckytogetthisbighousefurnished。Therewasnotanotheroneintownprocurablethatwouldanswerus，butthisoneisallright—spaceenoughinitforseveralfamilies，theroomsallold—fashioned，greatsize。
Thehouseat14WestTenthStreetbecamesuddenlyoneofthemostconspicuousresidencesinNewYork。Thepapersimmediatelymadeitsappearancefamiliar。Manypeoplepasseddownthatusuallyquietstreet，stoppingtoobserveorpointoutwhereMarkTwainlived。Therewasaconstantprocessionofcallersofeverykind。Manywerefriends，oldandnew，buttherewasamultitudeofstrangers。Hundredscamemerelytoexpresstheirappreciationofhiswork，hopingforapersonalwordorahand—shakeoranautograph；buttherewereotherhundredswhocamewiththisthingandthatthing——axestogrind——andtherewerenewspaperreporterstoaskhisopiniononpolitics，orpolygamy，orwoman’ssuffrage；onheavenandhellandhappiness；onthelatestnovel；onthewarinAfrica，thetroublesinChina；onanythingunderthesun，importantorunimportant，interestingorinane，concerningwhichonemightpossiblyholdanopinion。Hewasunfailing"copy"iftheycouldbutgetawordwithhim。Anythingthathemightchoosetosayuponanysubjectwhateverwasseizeduponandmagnifiedandprintedwithhead—lines。Sometimesopinionswereinventedforhim。Ifheletfallafewwordstheyweremultipliedintoacolumninterview。
"Thatreporterworkedamiracleequaltotheloavesandfishes，"hesaidofonesuchperformance。
Manymenwouldhavebecomeannoyedandirritableasthesethingscontinued；butMarkTwainwasgreaterthanthat。Eventuallyheemployedasecretarytostandbetweenhimandthewashofthetide，asasortofbreakwater；butheseldomlosthistempernomatterwhatwastherequestwhichwaslaidbeforehim，forherecognizedunderneathitthegreattributeofagreatnation。
Ofcoursehisliteraryvaluationwouldbeaffectedbythenoiseofthegeneralapplause。Magazinesandsyndicatesbesoughthimformanuscripts。
Hewasofferedfiftycentsandevenadollarawordforwhateverhemightgivethem。Hefeltachild—likegratificationintheseevidencesofhismarketadvancement，buthewasnotdemoralizedbythem。Heconfinedhisworktoafewmagazines，andinNovemberconcludedanarrangementwiththenewmanagementofHarper&Brothers，bywhichthatfirmwastohavetheexclusiveserialprivilegeofwhateverhemightwriteatafixedrateoftwentycentsperword——arateincreasedtothirtycentsbyalatercontract，whichalsoprovidedanincreasedroyaltyforthepublicationofhisbooks。
TheUnitedStates，asanation，doesnotconferanyspecialhonorsuponprivatecitizens。Wedonothavedecorationsandtitles，eventhoughtherearetimeswhenitseemsthatsuchthingsmightbenotinappropriatelyconferred。Certainofthenewspapers，morelavishintheirenthusiasmthanothers，wereinclinedtopropose，asonepaperphrasedit，"Somepeculiarrecognition——somethingthatshouldappealtoSamuelL。Clemens，theman，ratherthantoMarkTwain，theliterate。
Justwhatformthisrecognitionshouldtakeisdoubtful，forthecasehasnoexactprecedent。"
PerhapsthepaperthoughtthatMarkTwainwasentitled——ashehimselfoncehumorouslysuggested—tothe"thanksofCongress"forhavingcomehomealiveandoutofdebt，butitisjustaswellthatnothingofthesortwaseverseriouslyconsidered。Thethanksofthepublicatlargecontainedmoresubstance，andwasatributemuchmoretohismind。ThepaperabovequotedendedbysuggestingaverylargedinnerandmemorialofwelcomeasbeingmoreinkeepingwiththerepublicanideaandtheAmericanexpressionofgood—will。
Butthiswasanunneededsuggestion。Ifhehadeatenallthedinnersproposedhewouldnothavelivedtoenjoyhispublichonorsamonth。Asitwas，heacceptedmanymoredinnersthanhecouldeat，andpresentlyfellintothehabitofarrivingwhenthebanquetingwasaboutoverandtheafter—dinnerspeakingabouttobegin。Evensothestraintoldonhim。
"Hisfriendssawthathewaswearinghimselfout，"saysHowells，andperhapsthiswastrue，forhegrewthinandpaleandcontractedahackingcough。Hedidnotsparehimselfasoftenasheshouldhavedone。OncetoRichardWatsonGilderhesentthislineofregrets：
Inbedwithachestcoldandothercompany——Wednesday。
DEARGILDER，——Ican’t。IfIwereawellmanIcouldexplainwiththispencil，butinthecir———cesIwillleaveitalltoyourimagination。
WasitGradywhokilledhimselftryingtodoallthediningandspeeching？
No，oldman，no，no！Everyours，MARK。
HebecameagaintheguestofhonorattheLotosClub，whichhaddinedhimsolavishlysevenyearsbefore，justprevioustohisfinancialcollapse。
Thatformerdinnerhadbeenadistinguishedoccasion，butneverbeforehadtheLotosClubbeensobrimmingwitheagerhospitalityasonthesecondgreatoccasion。InclosinghisintroductoryspeechPresidentFrankLawrencesaid，"Wehailhimasonewhohasbornegreatburdenswithmanlinessandcourage，whohasemergedfromgreatstrugglesvictorious，"
andtheassembleddinersroaredouttheirapplause。Clemensinhisreplysaid：
YourpresidenthasreferredtocertainburdenswhichIwasweightedwith。Iamgladhedid，asitgivesmeanopportunitywhichI
wanted——tospeakofthosedebts。Youallknewwhathemeantwhenhereferredtoit，&ofthepoorbankruptfirmofC。L。Webster&Co。
Noonehassaidawordaboutthosecreditors。Therewereninety—sixcreditorsinall，¬byafinger’sweightdidninety—fiveoutoftheninety—sixaddtotheburdenofthattime。Theytreatedmewell；theytreatedmehandsomely。IneverknewIowedthemanything；notasigncamefromthem。
Itwaslikehimtomakethatpublicacknowledgment。Hecouldnotletanunfairimpressionremainthatanymanoranysetofmenhadlaidanunnecessaryburdenuponhim—hissenseofjusticewouldnotconsenttoit。
Healsospokeonthatoccasionofcertainnationalchanges。
HowmanythingshavehappenedinthesevenyearsIhavebeenawayfromhome！Wehavefoughtarighteouswar，andarighteouswarisararethinginhistory。Wehaveturnedasidefromourowncomfortandseentoitthatfreedomshouldexist，notonlywithinourowngates，butinourownneighborhood。WehavesetCubafreeandplacedheramongthegalaxyoffreenationsoftheworld。WestartedouttosetthosepoorFilipinosfree，butwhythatrighteousplanmiscarriedperhapsIshallneverknow。WehavealsobeenmakingacreditableshowinginChina，andthatismorethanalltheotherpowerscansay。The"YellowTerror"isthreateningtheworld，butnomatterwhathappenstheUnitedStatessaysthatithashadnopartinit。
SinceIhavebeenawaywehavebeennursingfreesilver。Wehavewatchedbyitscradle，wehavedoneourbesttoraisethatchild，buteverytimeitseemedtobegettingalongnicelyalongcamesomepestiferousRepublicanandgaveitthemeaslesorsomething。Ifearwewillneverraisethatchild。
We’vedonemorethanthat。WeelectedaPresidentfouryearsago。
We’vefoundfaultandcriticizedhim，andhereadayortwoagowegoandelecthimforanotherfouryears，withvotesenoughtosparetodoitoveragain。
OneclubfollowedanotherinhonoringMarkTwain——theAldine，theSt。
Nicholas，thePressclubs，andotherassociationsandsocieties。Hisoldfriendswereatthesedinners——Howells，Aldrich，Depew，Rogers，ex—SpeakerReed——andtheypraisedhimandgibedhimtohisandtheirhearts’content。
Itwasapoliticalyear，andhegenerallyhadsomethingtosayonmattersmunicipal，national，orinternational；andhespokeoutmoreandmorefreely，aswitheachopportunityhewarmedmorerighteouslytohissubject。
AtthedinnergiventohimbytheSt。NicholasClubhesaid，withdeepirony：
Gentlemen，youhaveherethebestmunicipalgovernmentintheworld，andthemostfragrantandthepurest。Theveryangelsofheavenenvyyouandwishtheyhadagovernmentlikeitupthere。Yougotitbyyournoblefidelitytocivicduty；bythesternandeverwatchfulexerciseofthegreatpowerslodgedinyouasloversandguardiansofyourcity；byyourmanlyrefusaltositinertwhenbasemenwouldhaveinvadedherhighplacesandpossessedthem；byyourinstantretaliationwhenanyinsultwasofferedyouinherperson，oranyassaultwasmadeuponherfairfame。Itisyouwhohavemadethisgovernmentwhatitis，itisyouwhohavemadeittheenvyanddespairoftheothercapitalsoftheworld——andGodblessyouforit，gentlemen，Godblessyou！Andwhenyougettoheavenatlastthey’llsaywithjoy，"Oh，theretheycome，therepresentativesoftheperfectestcitizenshipintheuniverseshowthemthearchangel’sboxandturnonthelimelight！"
ThosehearerswhoinformeryearshadbeenindifferenttoMarkTwain’smoreseriouspurposebegantorealizethat，whateverhemayhavebeenformerly，hewasbynomeansnowamerefun—maker，butamanofdeepandgraveconvictions，abletogivethemthefullestandmostforcibleexpression。Hestillmightmakethemlaugh，buthealsomadethemthink，andhestirredthemtoatruergospelofpatriotism。HedidnotpreachapatriotismthatmeantaboisterouscheeringoftheStarsandStripesrightorwrong，butapatriotismthatproposedtokeeptheStarsandStripescleanandworthshoutingfor。Inanarticle，perhapsitwasaspeech，begunatthistimehewrote：
Weteachtheboystoatrophytheirindependence。Weteachthemtotaketheirpatriotismatsecond—hand；toshoutwiththelargestcrowdwithoutexaminingintotherightorwrongofthematter——
exactlyasboysundermonarchiesaretaughtandhavealwaysbeentaught。Weteachthemtoregardastraitors，andholdinaversionandcontempt，suchasdonotshoutwiththecrowd，&sohereinourdemocracywearecheeringathingwhichofallthingsismostforeigntoit&outofplace——thedeliveryofourpoliticalconscienceintosomebodyelse’skeeping。ThisispatriotismontheRussianplan。
Howellstellsofdiscussingthesevitalmatterswithhimin"anupperroom，"lookingsouthoveraquiet，openspaceo？backyardswhere，"hesays，"wefoughtourbattlesinbehalfoftheFilipinosandBoers，andhecarriedonhiscampaignagainstthemissionariesinChina。"
HowellsatthetimeexpressedanamusedfearthatMarkTwain’scountrymen，whoinformeryearshadexpectedhimtobemerelyahumorist，shouldnow，inthelightofhiswideracceptanceabroad，demandthathebemainlyserious。
ButtheAmericanpeoplewerequitereadytoaccepthiminanyofhisphases，fullyrealizingthatwhateverhisphilosophyordoctrineitwouldhavesomewhatofthehumorousform，andwhateverhishumor，therewouldsomewherebewisdominit。Hehadinrealitychangedlittle；foragenerationhehadthoughtthesortofthingswhichhenow，withadvancedyearsandadifferentaudience，feltwarrantedinutteringopenly。Themanwhoin’64hadwrittenagainstcorruptioninSanFrancisco，whoafewyearslaterhaddefendedtheemigrantChineseagainstpersecution，whoatthemeetingsoftheMondayEveningClubhaddenouncedhypocrisyinpolitics，morals，andnationalissues，didnotneedtochangetobeabletospeakoutagainstsimilarabusesnow。AndanewergenerationaswillingtoheraldMarkTwainasasageaswellasahumorist，andonoccasiontoquiteoverlooktheabsenceofthecapandbells。
CCXIII
MARKTWAIN——GENERALSPOKESMAN
Clemensdidnotconfinehisspeechesaltogethertomattersofreform。AtadinnergivenbytheNineteenthCenturyClubinNovember，1900，hespokeonthe"DisappearanceofLiterature，"andatthecloseofthediscussionofthatsubject，referringtoMiltonandScott，hesaid：
ProfessorWinchesteralsosaidsomethingabouttherebeingnomodernepicslike"ParadiseLost。"Iguesshe’sright。Hetalkedasifhewasprettyfamiliarwiththatpieceofliterarywork，andnobodywouldsupposethatheneverhadreadit。Idon’tbelieveanyofyouhaveeverread"ParadiseLost，"andyoudon’twantto。That’ssomethingthatyoujustwanttotakeontrust。It’saclassic，justasProfessorWinchestersays，anditmeetshisdefinitionofaclassic——somethingthateverybodywantstohavereadandnobodywantstoread。
ProfessorTrentalsohadagooddealtosayaboutthedisappearanceofliterature。HesaidthatScottwouldoutliveallhiscritics。
Iguessthat’strue。Thatfactofthebusinessisyou’vegottobeoneoftwoagestoappreciateScott。Whenyou’reeighteenyoucanreadIvanhoe，andyouwanttowaituntilyou’reninetytoreadsomeoftherest。Ittakesaprettywell—regulatedabstemiouscritictoliveninetyyears。
Butafewdayslaterhewasbackagainintheforefrontofreform，preachingattheBerkeleyLyceumagainstforeignoccupationinChina。
ItwastherethathedeclaredhimselfaBoxer。
WhyshouldnotChinabefreefromtheforeigners，whoareonlymakingtroubleonhersoil？IftheywouldonlyallgohomewhatapleasantplaceChinawouldbefortheChinese！WedonotallowChinamentocomehere，andIsay，inallseriousness，thatitwouldbeagracefulthingtoletChinadecidewhoshallgothere。
ChinaneverwantedforeignersanymorethanforeignerswantedChinamen，andonthisquestionIamwiththeBoxerseverytime。TheBoxerisapatriot。Heloveshiscountrybetterthanhedoesthecountriesofotherpeople。Iwishhimsuccess。WedrivetheChinamanoutofourcountry；theBoxerbelievesindrivingusoutofhiscountry。IamaBoxer，too，onthoseterms。
IntroducingWinstonChurchill，ofEngland，atadinnersomeweekslater，heexplainedhowgenerousEnglandandAmericahadbeeninnotrequiringfancyratesfor"extinguishedmissionaries"inChinaasGermanyhaddone。
Germanyhadrequiredterritoryandcash，hesaid，inpaymentforhermissionaries，whiletheUnitedStatesandEnglandhadbeenwillingtosettleforproduce——firecrackersandtea。
TheChurchillintroductionwouldseemtohavebeenhislastspeechfortheyear1900，andheexpectedit，withoneexception，tobethelastforalongtime。Herealizedthathewastiredandthatthestrainuponhimmadeanyothersortofworkoutofthequestion。WritingtoMacAlisterattheendoftheyear，hesaid，"Iseemtohavemademanyspeeches，butitisnotso。Itisnotmorethanten，Ithink。"Still，arespectablenumberinthespaceoftwomonths，consideringthateachwascarefullywrittenandcommittedtomemory，andallamidcrushingsocialpressure。
AgaintoMacAlister：
Ideclined7banquetsyesterdaywhichisdoublethedailyaverage
&answered29letters。Ihaveslavedatmymaileverydaysincewearrivedinmid—October，butJeanislearningtotypewrite&
presentlyI’lldictate&therebysavesomescrapsoftime。
HeaddedthatafterJanuary4thhedidnotintendtospeakagainforayear——thathewouldnotspeakthenonlythatthematterconcernedthereformofcitygovernment。
TheoccasionofJanuary4，1901，wasaratherimportantone。ItwasameetingoftheCityClub，thenengagedinthecrusadeformunicipalreform。WheelerH。Peckhampresided，andBishopPottermadetheopeningaddress。Itallseemslikeancienthistorynow，andperhapsisnotveryvitalanymore；butthemovementwasmakingagreatstirthen，andMarkTwain’sdeclarationthathebelievedforty—ninemenoutoffiftywerehonest，andthattheforty—nineonlyneededtoorganizetodisqualifythefiftiethmanalwaysorganizedforcrime，wasquotedasasortofsloganforreform。
Clemenswasnotpermittedtokeephisresolutionthathewouldn’tspeakagainthatyear。Hehadbecomeasortofgeneralspokesmanonpublicmatters，anddemandsweremadeuponhimwhichcouldnotbedenied。HedeclinedaYalealumnidinner，buthecouldnotrefusetopresideattheLincolnBirthdaycelebrationatCarnegieHall，February11th，wherehemustintroduceWattersonasthespeakeroftheevening。