Fannyseemedtoherselfnevertohavebeenshockedbefore。
Therewasnopossibilityofrest。Theeveningpassedwithoutapauseofmisery,thenightwastotallysleepless。
Shepassedonlyfromfeelingsofsicknesstoshudderingsofhorror;andfromhotfitsoffevertocold。Theeventwassoshocking,thatthereweremomentsevenwhenherheartrevoltedfromitasimpossible:whenshethoughtitcouldnotbe。Awomanmarriedonlysixmonthsago;
amanprofessinghimselfdevoted,even_engaged_toanother;
thatotherhernearrelation;thewholefamily,bothfamiliesconnectedastheywerebytieupontie;
allfriends,allintimatetogether!Itwastoohorribleaconfusionofguilt,toogrossacomplicationofevil,forhumannature,notinastateofutterbarbarism,tobecapableof!yetherjudgmenttoldheritwasso。
_His_unsettledaffections,waveringwithhisvanity,_Maria’s_decidedattachment,andnosufficientprincipleoneitherside,gaveitpossibility:MissCrawford’sletterstamptitafact。
Whatwouldbetheconsequence?Whomwoulditnotinjure?
Whoseviewsmightitnotaffect?Whosepeacewoulditnotcutupforever?MissCrawford,herself,Edmund;
butitwasdangerous,perhaps,totreadsuchground。
Sheconfinedherself,ortriedtoconfineherself,tothesimple,indubitablefamilymiserywhichmustenvelopall,ifitwereindeedamatterofcertifiedguiltandpublicexposure。
Themother’ssufferings,thefather’s;thereshepaused。
Julia’s,Tom’s,Edmund’s;thereayetlongerpause。
Theywerethetwoonwhomitwouldfallmosthorribly。
SirThomas’sparentalsolicitudeandhighsenseofhonouranddecorum,Edmund’suprightprinciples,unsuspicioustemper,andgenuinestrengthoffeeling,madeherthinkitscarcelypossibleforthemtosupportlifeandreasonundersuchdisgrace;anditappearedtoherthat,asfarasthisworldalonewasconcerned,thegreatestblessingtoeveryoneofkindredwithMrs。Rushworthwouldbeinstantannihilation。
Nothinghappenedthenextday,orthenext,toweakenherterrors。Twopostscamein,andbroughtnorefutation,publicorprivate。TherewasnosecondlettertoexplainawaythefirstfromMissCrawford;therewasnointelligencefromMansfield,thoughitwasnowfulltimeforhertohearagainfromheraunt。Thiswasanevilomen。
Shehad,indeed,scarcelytheshadowofahopetosoothehermind,andwasreducedtosolowandwanandtremblingacondition,asnomother,notunkind,exceptMrs。Pricecouldhaveoverlooked,whenthethirddaydidbringthesickeningknock,andaletterwasagainputintoherhands。
ItboretheLondonpostmark,andcamefromEdmund。
“DearFanny,——Youknowourpresentwretchedness。
MayGodsupportyouunderyourshare!Wehavebeenheretwodays,butthereisnothingtobedone。Theycannotbetraced。Youmaynothaveheardofthelastblow——
Julia’selopement;sheisgonetoScotlandwithYates。
SheleftLondonafewhoursbeforeweenteredit。
Atanyothertimethiswouldhavebeenfeltdreadfully。
Nowitseemsnothing;yetitisanheavyaggravation。
Myfatherisnotoverpowered。Morecannotbehoped。
Heisstillabletothinkandact;andIwrite,byhisdesire,toproposeyourreturninghome。
Heisanxioustogetyouthereformymother’ssake。
IshallbeatPortsmouththemorningafteryoureceivethis,andhopetofindyoureadytosetoffforMansfield。
MyfatherwishesyoutoinviteSusantogowithyouforafewmonths。Settleitasyoulike;saywhatisproper;
Iamsureyouwillfeelsuchaninstanceofhiskindnessatsuchamoment!Dojusticetohismeaning,howeverImayconfuseit。Youmayimaginesomethingofmypresentstate。Thereisnoendoftheevilletlooseuponus。Youwillseemeearlybythemail——
Yours,etc。“
NeverhadFannymorewantedacordial。Neverhadshefeltsuchaoneasthislettercontained。To-morrow!toleavePortsmouthto-morrow!Shewas,shefeltshewas,inthegreatestdangerofbeingexquisitelyhappy,whilesomanyweremiserable。Theevilwhichbroughtsuchgoodtoher!
Shedreadedlestsheshouldlearntobeinsensibleofit。
Tobegoingsosoon,sentforsokindly,sentforasacomfort,andwithleavetotakeSusan,wasaltogethersuchacombinationofblessingsassetherheartinaglow,andforatimeseemedtodistanceeverypain,andmakeherincapableofsuitablysharingthedistressevenofthosewhosedistressshethoughtofmost。
Julia’selopementcouldaffecthercomparativelybutlittle;
shewasamazedandshocked;butitcouldnotoccupyher,couldnotdwellonhermind。Shewasobligedtocallherselftothinkofit,andacknowledgeittobeterribleandgrievous,oritwasescapingher,inthemidstofalltheagitatingpressingjoyfulcaresattendingthissummonstoherself。
Thereisnothinglikeemployment,activeindispensableemployment,forrelievingsorrow。Employment,evenmelancholy,maydispelmelancholy,andheroccupationswerehopeful。
Shehadsomuchtodo,thatnoteventhehorriblestoryofMrs。Rushworth——nowfixedtothelastpointofcertaintycouldaffectherasithaddonebefore。
Shehadnottimetobemiserable。Withintwenty-fourhoursshewashopingtobegone;herfatherandmothermustbespokento,Susanprepared,everythinggotready。
Businessfollowedbusiness;thedaywashardlylongenough。
Thehappinessshewasimparting,too,happinessverylittlealloyedbytheblackcommunicationwhichmustbrieflyprecedeit——thejoyfulconsentofherfatherandmothertoSusan’sgoingwithher——thegeneralsatisfactionwithwhichthegoingofbothseemedregarded,andtheecstasyofSusanherself,wasallservingtosupportherspirits。
TheafflictionoftheBertramswaslittlefeltinthefamily。
Mrs。Pricetalkedofherpoorsisterforafewminutes,buthowtofindanythingtoholdSusan’sclothes,becauseRebeccatookawayalltheboxesandspoiltthem,wasmuchmoreinherthoughts:andasforSusan,nowunexpectedlygratifiedinthefirstwishofherheart,andknowingnothingpersonallyofthosewhohadsinned,orofthosewhoweresorrowing——ifshecouldhelprejoicingfrombeginningtoend,itwasasmuchasoughttobeexpectedfromhumanvirtueatfourteen。
AsnothingwasreallyleftforthedecisionofMrs。Price,orthegoodofficesofRebecca,everythingwasrationallyanddulyaccomplished,andthegirlswerereadyforthemorrow。Theadvantageofmuchsleeptopreparethemfortheirjourneywasimpossible。Thecousinwhowastravellingtowardsthemcouldhardlyhavelessthanvisitedtheiragitatedspirits——oneallhappiness,theotherallvaryingandindescribableperturbation。
ByeightinthemorningEdmundwasinthehouse。Thegirlsheardhisentrancefromabove,andFannywentdown。
Theideaofimmediatelyseeinghim,withtheknowledgeofwhathemustbesuffering,broughtbackallherownfirstfeelings。Hesonearher,andinmisery。Shewasreadytosinkassheenteredtheparlour。Hewasalone,andmetherinstantly;andshefoundherselfpressedtohisheartwithonlythesewords,justarticulate,“MyFanny,myonlysister;myonlycomfortnow!“
Shecouldsaynothing;norforsomeminutescouldhesaymore。
Heturnedawaytorecoverhimself,andwhenhespokeagain,thoughhisvoicestillfaltered,hismannershewedthewishofself-command,andtheresolutionofavoidinganyfartherallusion。“Haveyoubreakfasted?Whenshallyoubeready?DoesSusango?“werequestionsfollowingeachotherrapidly。Hisgreatobjectwastobeoffassoonaspossible。WhenMansfieldwasconsidered,timewasprecious;andthestateofhisownmindmadehimfindreliefonlyinmotion。Itwassettledthatheshouldorderthecarriagetothedoorinhalfanhour。
Fannyansweredfortheirhavingbreakfastedandbeingquitereadyinhalfanhour。Hehadalreadyate,anddeclinedstayingfortheirmeal。Hewouldwalkroundtheramparts,andjointhemwiththecarriage。Hewasgoneagain;
gladtogetawayevenfromFanny。
Helookedveryill;evidentlysufferingunderviolentemotions,whichhewasdeterminedtosuppress。
Sheknewitmustbeso,butitwasterribletoher。
Thecarriagecame;andheenteredthehouseagainatthesamemoment,justintimetospendafewminuteswiththefamily,andbeawitness——butthathesawnothing——
ofthetranquilmannerinwhichthedaughterswerepartedwith,andjustintimetopreventtheirsittingdowntothebreakfast-table,which,bydintofmuchunusualactivity,wasquiteandcompletelyreadyasthecarriagedrovefromthedoor。Fanny’slastmealinherfather’shousewasincharacterwithherfirst:
shewasdismissedfromitashospitablyasshehadbeenwelcomed。