’Whatdoyoucallyourself?’wasthesurlydemandofthatgentleman。’Youhavetheheadoftwomen。’
’Mysexdisqualifiesme,’sheproceededwithmerelyaslightturnofhereyesinjeremiah’sdirection,’fromtakingaresponsiblepartinthebusiness,evenifIhadtheability;andthereforeMrFlintwinchcombinesmyinterestwithhisown,andconductsit。Itisnotwhatitusedtobe;butsomeofouroldfriendsprincipallythewritersofthisletterhavethekindnessnottoforgetus,andweretainthepowerofdoingwhattheyentrusttousasefficientlyasweeverdid。Thishoweverisnotinterestingtoyou。YouareEnglish,sir?’
’Faith,madam,no;IamneitherbornnorbredinEngland。Ineffect,Iamofnocountry,’saidMrBlandois,stretchingouthislegandsmitingit:’Idescendfromhalf-a-dozencountries。’
’Youhavebeenmuchabouttheworld?’
’Itistrue。ByHeaven,madam,Ihavebeenhereandthereandeverywhere!’
’Youhavenoties,probably。Arenotmarried?’
’Madam,’saidMrBlandois,withanuglyfallofhiseyebrows,’I
adoreyoursex,butIamnotmarried——neverwas。’
MistressAffery,whostoodatthetablenearhim,pouringoutthetea,happenedinherdreamystatetolookathimashesaidthesewords,andtofancythatshecaughtanexpressioninhiseyeswhichattractedherowneyessothatshecouldnotgetthemaway。Theeffectofthisfancywastokeepherstaringathimwiththetea-
potinherhand,notonlytoherowngreatuneasiness,butmanifestlytohis,too;and,throughthemboth,toMrsClennam’sandMrFlintwinch’s。Thusafewghostlymomentssupervened,whentheywereallconfusedlystaringwithoutknowingwhy。
’Affery,’hermistresswasthefirsttosay,’whatisthematterwithyou?’
’Idon’tknow,’saidMistressAffery,withherdisengagedlefthandextendedtowardsthevisitor。’Itain’tme。It’shim!’
’Whatdoesthisgoodwomanmean?’criedMrBlandois,turningwhite,hot,andslowlyrisingwithalookofsuchdeadlywraththatitcontrastedsurprisinglywiththeslightforceofhiswords。’Howisitpossibletounderstandthisgoodcreature?’
’It’sNOTpossible,’saidMrFlintwinch,screwinghimselfrapidlyinthatdirection。’Shedon’tknowwhatshemeans。She’sanidiot,awandererinhermind。Sheshallhaveadose,sheshallhavesuchadose!Getalongwithyou,mywoman,’headdedinherear,’getalongwithyou,whileyouknowyou’reAffery,andbeforeyou’reshakentoyeast。’
MistressAffery,sensibleofthedangerinwhichheridentitystood,relinquishedthetea-potasherhusbandseizedit,putherapronoverherhead,andinatwinklingvanished。Thevisitorgraduallybrokeintoasmile,andsatdownagain。
’You’llexcuseher,MrBlandois,’saidJeremiah,pouringouttheteahimself,’she’sfailingandbreakingup;that’swhatshe’sabout。Doyoutakesugar,sir?’
’Thankyou,noteaforme——Pardonmyobservingit,butthat’saveryremarkablewatch!’
Thetea-tablewasdrawnupnearthesofa,withasmallintervalbetweenitandMrsClennam’sownparticulartable。MrBlandoisinhisgallantryhadrisentohandthatladyherteaherdishoftoastwasalreadythere,anditwasinplacingthecupconvenientlywithinherreachthatthewatch,lyingbeforeherasitalwaysdid,attractedhisattention。MrsClennamlookedsuddenlyupathim。
’MayIbepermitted?Thankyou。Afineold-fashionedwatch,’hesaid,takingitinhishand。’Heavyforuse,butmassiveandgenuine。Ihaveapartialityforeverythinggenuine。SuchasI
am,Iamgenuinemyself。Hah!Agentleman’swatchwithtwocasesintheoldfashion。MayIremoveitfromtheoutercase?Thankyou。Aye?Anoldsilkwatch-lining,workedwithbeads!IhaveoftenseentheseamongoldDutchpeopleandBelgians。Quaintthings!’
’Theyareold-fashioned,too,’saidMrsClennam。
’Very。Butthisisnotsooldasthewatch,Ithink?’
’Ithinknot。’
’Extraordinaryhowtheyusedtocomplicatethesecyphers!’remarkedMrBlandois,glancingupwithhisownsmileagain。’NowisthisD。
N。F。?Itmightbealmostanything。’
’Thosearetheletters。’
MrFlintwinch,whohadbeenobservantlypausingallthistimewithacupofteainhishand,andhismouthopenreadytoswallowthecontents,begantodoso:alwaysentirelyfillinghismouthbeforeheemptieditatagulp;andalwaysdeliberatingagainbeforeherefilledit。
’D。N。F。wassometender,lovely,fascinatingfair-creature,I
makenodoubt,’observedMrBlandois,ashesnappedonthecaseagain。’Iadorehermemoryontheassumption。Unfortunatelyformypeaceofmind,Iadorebuttooreadily。Itmaybeavice,itmaybeavirtue,butadorationoffemalebeautyandmeritconstitutesthreepartsofmycharacter,madam。’
MrFlintwinchhadbythistimepouredhimselfoutanothercupoftea,whichhewasswallowingingulpsasbefore,withhiseyesdirectedtotheinvalid。
’Youmaybeheart-freehere,sir,’shereturnedtoMrBlandois。
’Thoselettersarenotintended,Ibelieve,fortheinitialsofanyname。’
’Ofamotto,perhaps,’saidMrBlandois,casually。
’Ofasentence。Theyhavealwaysstood,Ibelieve,forDoNotForget!’
’Andnaturally,’saidMrBlandois,replacingthewatchandsteppingbackwardtohisformerchair,’youdonotforget。’
MrFlintwinch,finishinghistea,notonlytookalongergulpthanhehadtakenyet,butmadehissucceedingpauseundernewcircumstances:thatistosay,withhisheadthrownbackandhiscupheldstillathislips,whilehiseyeswerestilldirectedattheinvalid。Shehadthatforceofface,andthatconcentratedairofcollectingherfirmnessorobstinacy,whichrepresentedinhercasewhatwouldhavebeengestureandactioninanother,assherepliedwithherdeliberatestrengthofspeech:
’No,sir,Idonotforget。Toleadalifeasmonotonousasminehasbeenduringmanyyears,isnotthewaytoforget。Toleadalifeofself-correctionisnotthewaytoforget。Tobesensibleofhavingasweallhave,everyoneofus,allthechildrenofAdam!offencestoexpiateandpeacetomake,doesnotjustifythedesiretoforget。ThereforeIhavelongdismissedit,andI
neitherforgetnorwishtoforget。’
MrFlintwinch,whohadlatterlybeenshakingthesedimentatthebottomofhistea-cup,roundandround,heregulpeditdown,andputtingthecupinthetea-tray,asdonewith,turnedhiseyesuponMrBlandoisasiftoaskhimwhathethoughtofthat?
’Allexpressed,madam,’saidMrBlandois,withhissmoothestbowandhiswhitehandonhisbreast,’bytheword“naturally,“whichIamproudtohavehadsufficientapprehensionandappreciationbutwithoutappreciationIcouldnotbeBlandoistoemploy。’
’Pardonme,sir,’shereturned,’ifIdoubtthelikelihoodofagentlemanofpleasure,andchange,andpoliteness,accustomedtocourtandtobecourted——’
’Ohmadam!ByHeaven!’
’——IfIdoubtthelikelihoodofsuchacharacterquitecomprehendingwhatbelongstomineinmycircumstances。Nottoobtrudedoctrineuponyou,’shelookedattherigidpileofhardpalebooksbeforeher,’foryougoyourownway,andtheconsequencesareonyourownhead,Iwillsaythismuch:thatI
shapemycoursebypilots,strictlybyprovedandtriedpilots,underwhomIcannotbeshipwrecked——cannotbe——andthatifIwereunmindfuloftheadmonitionconveyedinthosethreeletters,I
shouldnotbehalfaschastenedasIam。’
Itwascurioushowsheseizedtheoccasiontoarguewithsomeinvisibleopponent。Perhapswithherownbettersense,alwaysturninguponherselfandherowndeception。
’IfIforgotmyignorancesinmylifeofhealthandfreedom,I
mightcomplainofthelifetowhichIamnowcondemned。Ineverdo;Ineverhavedone。IfIforgotthatthisscene,theEarth,isexpresslymeanttobeasceneofgloom,andhardship,anddarktrial,forthecreatureswhoaremadeoutofitsdust,Imighthavesometendernessforitsvanities。ButIhavenosuchtenderness。
IfIdidnotknowthatweare,everyone,thesubjectmostjustlythesubjectofawraththatmustbesatisfied,andagainstwhichmereactionsarenothing,Imightrepineatthedifferencebetweenme,imprisonedhere,andthepeoplewhopassthatgatewayyonder。
ButItakeitasagraceandfavourtobeelectedtomakethesatisfactionIammakinghere,toknowwhatIknowforcertainhere,andtoworkoutwhatIhaveworkedouthere。Myafflictionmightotherwisehavehadnomeaningtome。HenceIwouldforget,andIdoforget,nothing。HenceIamcontented,andsayitisbetterwithmethanwithmillions。’
Asshespokethesewords,sheputherhanduponthewatch,andrestoredittotheprecisespotonherlittletablewhichitalwaysoccupied。Withhertouchlingeringuponit,shesatforsomemomentsafterwards,lookingatitsteadilyandhalf-defiantly。
MrBlandois,duringthisexposition,hadbeenstrictlyattentive,keepinghiseyesfastenedonthelady,andthoughtfullystrokinghismoustachewithhistwohands。MrFlintwinchhadbeenalittlefidgety,andnowstruckin。
’There,there,there!’saidhe。’Thatisquiteunderstood,MrsClennam,andyouhavespokenpiouslyandwell。MrBlandois,I
suspect,isnotofapiouscast。’
’Onthecontrary,sir!’thatgentlemanprotested,snappinghisfingers。’Yourpardon!It’sapartofmycharacter。Iamsensitive,ardent,conscientious,andimaginative。Asensitive,ardent,conscientious,andimaginativeman,MrFlintwinch,mustbethat,ornothing!’
TherewasaninklingofsuspicioninMrFlintwinch’sfacethathemightbenothing,asheswaggeredoutofhischairitwascharacteristicofthisman,asitisofallmensimilarlymarked,thatwhateverhedid,heoverdid,thoughitweresometimesbyonlyahairsbreadth,andapproachedtotakehisleaveofMrsClennam。
’Withwhatwillappeartoyoutheegotismofasickoldwoman,sir,’shethensaid,’thoughreallythroughyouraccidentalallusion,Ihavebeenledawayintothesubjectofmyselfandmyinfirmities。Beingsoconsiderateastovisitme,Ihopeyouwillbelikewisesoconsiderateastooverlookthat。Don’tcomplimentme,ifyouplease。’Forhewasevidentlygoingtodoit。’MrFlintwinchwillbehappytorenderyouanyservice,andIhopeyourstayinthiscitymayproveagreeable。’
MrBlandoisthankedher,andkissedhishandseveraltimes。’Thisisanoldroom,’heremarked,withasuddensprightlinessofmanner,lookingroundwhenhegotnearthedoor,’IhavebeensointerestedthatIhavenotobservedit。Butit’sagenuineoldroom。’
’Itisagenuineoldhouse,’saidMrsClennam,withherfrozensmile。’Aplaceofnopretensions,butapieceofantiquity。’
’Faith!’criedthevisitor。’IfMrFlintwinchwoulddomethefavourtotakemethroughtheroomsonmywayout,hecouldhardlyobligememore。Anoldhouseisaweaknesswithme。Ihavemanyweaknesses,butnonegreater。Iloveandstudythepicturesqueinallitsvarieties。Ihavebeencalledpicturesquemyself。Itisnomerittobepicturesque——Ihavegreatermerits,perhaps——butI