Judewouldnowhavebeendescribedasayoungmanwithaforcible,meditative,andearnestratherthanhandsomecastofcountenance。Hewasofdarkcomplexion,withdarkharmonizingeyes,andheworeacloselytrimmedblackbeardofmoreadvancedgrowththanisusualathisage;this,withhisgreatmassofblackcurlyhair,wassometroubletohimincombingandwashingoutthestone-dustthatsettledonitinthepursuitofhistrade。Hiscapabilitiesinthelatter,havingbeenacquiredinthecountry,wereofanall-roundsort,includingmonumentalstone-cutting,gothicfree-stoneworkfortherestorationofchurches,andcarvingofageneralkind。InLondonhewouldprobablyhavebecomespecializedandhavemadehimselfa`mouldingmason,’a`foliagesculptor’-perhapsa`statuary。’
HehadthatafternoondriveninacartfromAlfredstontothevillagenearestthecityinthisdirection,andwasnowwalkingtheremainingfourmilesratherfromchoicethanfromnecessity,havingalwaysfanciedhimselfarrivingthus。
Theultimateimpulsetocomehadhadacuriousorigin-onemorenearlyrelatedtotheemotionalsideofhimthantotheintellectual,asisoftenthecasewithyoungmen。OnedaywhileinlodgingsatAlfredstonhehadgonetoMarygreentoseehisoldaunt,andhadobservedbetweenthebrasscandlesticksonhermantlepiecethephotographofaprettygirlishface,inabroadhatwithradiatingfoldsunderthebrimliketheraysofahalo。Hehadaskedwhoshewas。Hisgrand-aunthadgrufflyrepliedthatshewashiscousinSueBridehead,oftheinimicalbranchofthefamily;
andonfurtherquestioningtheoldwomanhadrepliedthatthegirllivedinChristminster,thoughshedidnotknowwhere,orwhatshewasdoing。
Hisauntwouldnotgivehimthephotograph。Butithauntedhim;
andultimatelyformedaquickeningingredientinhislatentintentoffollowinghisfriendtheschoolmasterthither。
Henowpausedatthetopofacrookedandgentledeclivity,andobtainedhisfirstnearviewofthecity。Grey-stonedanddun-roofed,itstoodwithinhailoftheWessexborder,andalmostwiththetipofonesmalltoewithinit,atthenorthernmostpointofthecrinkledlinealongwhichtheleisurelyThamesstrokesthefieldsofthatancientkingdom。
Thebuildingsnowlayquietinthesunset,avanehereandthereontheirmanyspiresanddomesgivingsparkletoapictureofsobersecondaryandtertiaryhues。
Reachingthebottomhemovedalongthelevelwaybetweenpollardwillowsgrowingindistinctinthetwilight,andsoonconfrontedtheoutmostlampsofthetown-someofthoselampswhichhadsentintotheskythegleamandglorythatcaughthisstrainedgazeinhisdaysofdreaming,somanyyearsago。Theywinkedtheiryelloweyesathimdubiously,andasif,thoughtheyhadbeenawaitinghimalltheseyearsindisappointmentathistarrying,theydidnotmuchwanthimnow。
HewasaspeciesofDickWhittingtonwhosespiritwastouchedtofinerissuesthanamerematerialgain。Hewentalongtheoutlyingstreetswiththecautioustreadofanexplorer。Hesawnothingoftherealcityinthesuburbsonthisside。Hisfirstwantbeingalodginghescrutinizedcarefullysuchlocalitiesasseemedtoofferoninexpensivetermsthemodesttypeofaccommodationhedemanded;andafterinquirytookaroominasuburbnicknamed`Beersheba,’thoughhedidnotknowthisatthetime。Hereheinstalledhimself,andhavinghadsometeasalliedforth。
Itwasawindy,whispering,moonlessnight。Toguidehimselfheopenedunderalampamaphehadbrought。Thebreezeruffledandflutteredit,buthecouldseeenoughtodecideonthedirectionheshouldtaketoreachtheheartoftheplace。
Aftermanyturningshecameuptothefirstancientmediaevalpilethathehadencountered。Itwasacollege,ashecouldseebythegateway。Heenteredit,walkedround,andpenetratedtodarkcornerswhichnolamplightreached。Closetothiscollegewasanother;andalittlefurtheronanother;andthenhebegantobeencircledasitwerewiththebreathandsentimentofthevenerablecity。Whenhepassedobjectsoutofharmonywithitsgeneralexpressionheallowedhiseyestoslipoverthemasifhedidnotseethem。
Abellbeganclanging,andhelistenedtillahundred-and-onestrokeshadsounded。Hemusthavemadeamis-take,hethought:itwasmeantforahundred。
Whenthegateswereshut,andhecouldnolongergetintothequadrangles,herambledunderthewallsanddoorways,feelingwithhisfingersthecontoursoftheirmouldingsandcarving。Theminutespassed,fewerandfewerpeoplewerevisible,andstillheserpentinedamongtheshadows,forhadhenotimaginedthesescenesthroughtenbygoneyears,andwhatmatteredanight’srestforonce?Highagainsttheblackskytheflashofalampwouldshowcrocketedpinnaclesandindentedbattlements。
Downobscurealleys,apparentlynevertroddennowbythefootofman,andwhoseveryexistenceseemedtobeforgotten,therewouldjutintothepathporticoes,oriels,doorwaysofenrichedandfloridmiddle-agedesign,theirextinctairbeingaccentuatedbytherottennessofthestones。Itseemedimpossiblethatmodernthoughtcouldhouseitselfinsuchdecrepitandsupersededchambers。
Knowingnotahumanbeinghere,Judebegantobeimpressedwiththeisolationofhisownpersonality,aswithaself-spectre,thesensationbeingthatofonewhowalkedbutcouldnotmakehimselfseenorheard。
Hedrewhisbreathpensively,and,seemingthusalmosthisownghost,gavehisthoughtstotheotherghostlypresenceswithwhichthenookswerehaunted。
Duringtheintervalofpreparationforthisventure,sincehiswifeandfurniture’suncompromisingdisappearanceintospace,hehadreadandlearntalmostallthatcouldbereadandlearntbyoneinhisposition,oftheworthieswhohadspenttheiryouthwithinthesereverendwalls,andwhosesoulshadhauntedthemintheirmaturerage。Someofthem,bytheaccidentsofhisreading,loomedoutinhisfancydisproportionatelylargebycomparisonwiththerest。Thebrushingsofthewindagainsttheangles,buttresses,anddoor-jambswereasthepassingoftheseonlyotherinhabitants,thetappingsofeachivyleafonitsneighbourwereasthemutteringsoftheirmournfulsouls,theshadowsastheirthinshapesinnervousmovement,makinghimcomradesinhissolitude。Inthegloomitwasasifheranagainstthemwithoutfeelingtheirbodilyframes。
Thestreetswerenowdeserted,butonaccountofthesethingshecouldnotgoin。Therewerepoetsabroad,ofearlydateandoflate,fromthefriendandeulogistofShakespearedowntohimwhohasrecentlypassedintosilence,andthatmusicaloneofthetribewhoisstillamongus。Speculativephilosophersdrewalong,notalwayswithwrinkledforeheadsandhoaryhairasinframedportraits,butpink-faced,slim,andactiveasinyouth;moderndivinessheetedintheirsurplices,amongwhomthemostrealtoJudeFawleywerethefoundersofthereligiousschoolcalledTractarian;thewell-knownthree,theenthusiast,thepoet,andtheformularist,theechoesofwhoseteachingshadinfluencedhimeveninhisobscurehome。
Astartofaversionappearedinhisfancytomovethematsightofthoseothersonsoftheplace,theforminthefull-bottomedwig,statesmanrake,reasonerandsceptic;thesmoothlyshavenhistoriansoironicallyciviltoChristianity;withothersofthesameincreduloustemper,whokneweachquadaswellasthefaithful,andtookequalfreedominhauntingitscloisters。
Heregardedthestatesmenintheirvarioustypes,menoffirmermovementandlessdreamyair;thescholar,thespeaker,theplodder;themanwhosemindgrewwithhisgrowthinyears,andthemanwhosemindcontractedwiththesame。
Thescientistsandphilologistsfollowedoninhismind-sightinanoddimpossiblecombination,menofmeditativefaces,strainedforeheads,andweak-eyedasbatswithconstantresearch;thenofficialcharacters-suchmenasgovernor-generalsandlord-lieutenants,inwhomhetooklittleinterest;chief-justicesandlordchancellors,silentthin-lippedfiguresofwhomheknewbarelythenames。Akeenerregardattachedtotheprelates,byreasonofhisownformerhopes。Ofthemhehadanampleband-somemenofheart,othersrathermenofhead;hewhoapologizedfortheChurchinLatin;thesaintlyauthoroftheEveningHymn;andnearthemthegreatitinerantpreacher,hymn-writer,andzealot,shadowedlikeJudebyhismatrimonialdifficulties。
Judefoundhimselfspeakingoutloud,holdingconversationswiththemasitwere,likeanactorinamelodramawhoapostrophizestheaudienceontheothersideofthefootlights;tillhesuddenlyceasedwithastartathisabsurdity。Perhapsthoseincoherentwordsofthewandererwereheardwithinthewallsbysomestudentorthinkeroverhislamp;andhemayhaveraisedhishead,andwonderedwhatvoiceitwas,andwhatitbetokened。
Judenowperceivedthat,sofarassolidfleshwent,hehadthewholeagedcitytohimselfwiththeexceptionofabelatedtownsmanhereandthere,andthatheseemedtobecatchingacold。
Avoicereachedhimoutoftheshade;arealandlocalvoice:
`You’vebeena-settin’alongtimeonthatplinth-stone,youngman。Whatmedyoubeupto?’
ItcamefromapolicemanwhohadbeenobservingJudewithoutthelatterobservinghim。
Judewenthomeandtobed,afterreadingupalittleaboutthesemenandtheirseveralmessagestotheworldfromabookortwothathehadbroughtwithhimconcerningthesonsoftheuniversity。Ashedrewtowardssleepvariousmemorablewordsoftheirsthathehadjustbeenconningseemedspokenbytheminmutteringutterances;someaudible,someunintelligibletohim。OneofthespectreswhoafterwardsmournedChristminsteras`thehomeoflostcauses,’thoughJudedidnotrememberthiswasnowapostrophizingherthus:
`Beautifulcity!sovenerable,solovely,sounravagedbythefierceintellectuallifeofourcentury,soserene!……Herineffablecharmkeepsevercallingustothetruegoalofallofus,totheideal,toperfection。’
AnothervoicewasthatoftheCornLawconvert,whosephantomhehadjustseeninthequadranglewithagreatbell。Judethoughthissoulmighthavebeenshapingthehistoricwordsofhismaster-speech:
`Sir,Imaybewrong,butmyimpressionisthatmydutytowardsacountrythreatenedwithfaminerequiresthatthatwhichhasbeentheordinaryremedyunderallsimilarcircumstancesshouldberesortedtonow,namely,thatthereshouldbefreeaccesstothefoodofmanfromwhateverquarteritmaycome……Deprivemeofofficeto-morrow,youcanneverdeprivemeoftheconsciousnessthatIhaveexercisedthepowerscommittedtomefromnocorruptorinterestedmotives,fromnodesiretogratifyambition,fornopersonalgain。’
ThentheslyauthoroftheimmortalChapteronChristianity:`HowshallweexcusethesupineinattentionofthePaganandphilosophicworld,tothoseevidences[miracles]whichwerepresentedbyOmnipotence?……
ThesagesofGreeceandRometurnedasidefromtheawfulspectacle,andappearedunconsciousofanyalterationsinthemoralorphysicalgovernmentoftheworld。’
Thentheshadeofthepoet,thelastoftheoptimists:
Howtheworldismadeforeachofus!……
AndeachoftheManyhelpstorecruitThelifeoftheracebyageneralplan。Thenoneofthethreeenthusiastshehadseenjustnow,theauthoroftheApologia:
`Myargumentwas……thatabsolutecertitudeastothetruthsofnaturaltheologywastheresultofanassemblageofconcurringandconvergingprobabilities……thatprobabilitieswhichdidnotreachtologicalcertaintymightcreateamentalcertitude。’
Thesecondofthem,nopolemic,murmuredquieterthings:
Whyshouldwefaint,andfeartolivealone,Sinceallalone,soHeavenhaswill’d,wedie?Helikewiseheardsomephrasesspokenbythephantomwiththeshortface,thegenialSpectator:
`WhenIlookuponthetombsofthegreat,everymotionofenvydiesinme;whenIreadtheepitaphsofthebeautiful,everyinordinatedesiregoesout;whenImeetwiththegriefofparentsuponatombstone,myheartmeltswithcompassion;whenIseethetombsoftheparentsthemselves,Iconsiderthevanityofgrievingforthosewhomwemustquicklyfollow。’
Andlastlyagentle-voicedprelatespoke,duringwhosemeek,familiarrhyme,endearedtohimfromearliestchildhood,Judefellasleep:
Teachmetolive,thatImaydreadThegraveaslittleasmybed。
Teachmetodie……Hedidnotwaketillmorning。Theghostlypastseemedtohavegone,andeverythingspokeofto-day。Hestartedupinbed,thinkinghehadoverslepthimselfandthensaid:
`ByJove-Ihadquiteforgottenmysweet-facedcousin,andthatshe’shereallthetime!……andmyoldschoolmaster,too。’Hiswordsabouthisschoolmasterhad,perhaps,lesszestinthemthanhiswordsconcerninghiscousin。
JudetheObscureChapter13II-iiNecessarymeditationsontheactual,includingthemeanbread-and-cheesequestion,dissipatedthephantasmalforawhile,andcompelledJudetosmotherhighthinkingsunderimmediateneeds。Hehadtogetup,andseekforwork,manualwork;theonlykinddeemedbymanyofitsprofessorstobeworkatall。