Hewanderedaboutawhile,obtainedsomethingtoeat;andthen,havinganotherhalf-houronhishands,hisfeetinvoluntarilytookhimthroughthevenerablegraveyardofTrinityChurch,withitsavenuesoflimes,inthedirectionoftheschoolsagain。Theywereentirelyindarkness。
ShehadsaidshelivedoverthewayatOld-GrovePlace,ahousewhichhesoondiscoveredfromherdescriptionofitsantiquity。
Aglimmeringcandlelightshonefromafrontwindow,theshuttersbeingyetunclosed。Hecouldseetheinteriorclearly-thefloorsinkingacoupleofstepsbelowtheroadwithout,whichhadbecomeraisedduringthecenturiessincethehousewasbuilt。Sue,evidentlyjustcomein,asstandingwithherhatoninthisfrontparlourorsitting-room,whosewallswerelinedwithwainscotingofpanelledoakreachingfromfloortoceiling,thelatterbeingcrossedbyhugemouldedbeamsonlyalittlewayaboveherhead。Themantelpiecewasofthesameheavydescription,carvedwithJacobeanpilastersandscroll-work。Thecenturiesdid,indeed,ponderouslyoverhangayoungwifewhopassedhertimehere。
Shehadopenedarosewoodwork-box,andwaslookingataphotograph。
Havingcontemplateditalittlewhileshepresseditagainstherbosom,andputitagaininitsplace。
Thenbecomingawarethatshehadnotobscuredthewindowsshecameforwardtodoso,candleinhand。ItwastoodarkforhertoseeJudewithout,buthecouldseeherfacedistinctly,andtherewasanunmistakabletearfulnessaboutthedark,long-lashedeyes。
Sheclosedtheshutters,andJudeturnedawaytopursuehissolitaryjourneyhome。`Whosephotographwasshelookingat?’hesaid。Hehadoncegivenherhis;butshehadothers,heknew。Yetitwashis,surely?
Heknewheshouldgotoseeheragain,accordingtoherinvitation。
Thoseearnestmenhereadof,thesaints,whomSue,withgentleirreverence,calledhisdemi-gods,wouldhaveshunnedsuchencountersiftheydoubtedtheirownstrength。Buthecouldnot。Hemightfastandprayduringthewholeinterval,butthehumanwasmorepowerfulinhimthantheDivine。
JudetheObscureChapter30IV-iiHowever,ifGoddisposednot,womandid。Thenextmorningbutonebroughthimthisnotefromher:
Don’tcomenextweek。Onyourownaccountdon’t!Weweretoofree,undertheinfluenceofthatmorbidhymnandthetwilight。ThinknomorethanyoucanhelpofSusannaFlorenceMary。Thedisappointmentwaskeen。Heknewhermood,thelookofherface,whenshesubscribedherselfatlengththus。Butwhateverhermoodhecouldnotsayshewaswronginherview。Hereplied:
Iacquiesce。Youareright。ItisalessoninrenunciationwhichIsupposeIoughttolearnatthisseason。JudeHedespatchedthenoteonEasterEve,andthereseemedafinalityintheirdecisions。Butotherforcesandlawsthantheirswereinoperation。OnEasterMondaymorninghereceivedamessagefromtheWidowEdlin,whomhehaddirectedtotelegraphifanythingserioushappened:
Yourauntissinking。Comeatonce。Hethrewdownhistoolsandwent。ThreeandahalfhourslaterhewascrossingthedownsaboutMarygreen,andpresentlyplungedintotheconcavefieldacrosswhichtheshortcutwasmadetothevillage。Asheascendedontheothersidealabouringman,whohadbeenwatchinghisapproachfromagateacrossthepath,moveduneasily,andpreparedtospeak。`Icanseeinhisfacethatsheisdead,’saidJude。`PoorAuntDrusilla!’
Itwasashehadsupposed,andMrs。Edlinhadsentoutthemantobreakthenewstohim。
`Shewouldn’thaveknowed’ee。Shelaylikeadollwi’glasseyes;
soitdidn’tmatterthatyouwasn’there,’saidhe。
Judewentontothehouse,andintheafternoon,wheneverythingwasdone,andthelayers-outhadfinishedtheirbeer,andgone,hesatdownaloneinthesilentplace。ItwasabsolutelynecessarytocommunicatewithSue,thoughtwoorthreedaysearliertheyhadagreedtomutualseverance。
Hewroteinthebriefestterms:
AuntDrusillaisdead,havingbeentakenalmostsuddenly。ThefuneralisonFridayafternoon。HeremainedinandaboutMarygreenthroughtheinterveningdays,wentoutonFridaymorningtoseethatthegravewasfinished,andwonderedifSuewouldcome。Shehadnotwritten,andthatseemedtosignifyratherthatshewouldcomethanthatshewouldnot。Havingtimedherbyheronlypossibletrain,helockedthedooraboutmid-day,andcrossedthehollowfieldtothevergeoftheuplandbytheBrownHouse,wherehestoodandlookedoverthevastprospectnorthwards,andoverthenearerlandscapeinwhichAlfredstonstood。Twomilesbehinditajetofwhitesteamwastravellingfromthelefttotherightofthepicture。
Therewasalongtimetowait,evennow,tillhewouldknowifshehadarrived。Hedidwait,however,andatlastasmallhiredvehiclepulledupatthebottomofthehill,andapersonalighted,theconveyancegoingback,whilethepassengerbeganascendingthehill。Heknewher;
andshelookedsoslenderto-daythatitseemedasifshemightbecrushedintheintensityofatoopassionateembrace-suchasitwasnotforhimtogive。Two-thirdsofthewayupherheadsuddenlytookasolicitouspoise,andheknewthatshehadatthatmomentrecognizedhim。Herfacesoonbeganapensivesmile,whichlastedtill,havingdescendedalittleway,hemether。
`Ithought,’shebeganwithnervousquickness,`thatitwouldbesosadtoletyouattendthefuneralalone!Andso-atthelastmoment-Icame。’
`DearfaithfulSue!’murmuredJude。
Withtheelusivenessofhercuriousdoublenature,however,Suedidnotstandstillforanyfurthergreeting,thoughitwantedsometimetotheburial。Apathossounusuallycompoundedasthatwhichattachedtothishourwasunlikelytorepeatitselfforyears,ifever,andJudewouldhavepaused,andmeditated,andconversed。ButSueeithersawitnotatall,or,seeingitmorethanhe,wouldnotallowherselftofeelit。
Thesadandsimpleceremonywassoonover,theirprogresstothechurchbeingalmostatatrot,thebustlingundertakerhavingamoreimportantfuneralanhourlater,threemilesoff。Drusillawasputintothenewground,quiteawayfromherancestors。SueandJudehadgonesidebysidetothegrave,andnowsatdowntoteainthefamiliarhouse;theirlivesunitedatleastinthislastattentiontothedead。
`Shewasopposedtomarriage,fromfirsttolast,yousay?’murmuredSue。
`Yes。Particularlyformembersofourfamily。’
Hereyesmethis,andremainedonhimawhile。
`Weareratherasadfamily,don’tyouthink,Jude?’
`Shesaidwemadebadhusbandsandwives。Certainlywemakeunhappyones。Atallevents,Ido,forone!’
Suewassilent。`Isitwrong,Jude,’shesaidwithatentativetremor,`forahusbandorwifetotellathirdpersonthattheyareunhappyintheirmarriage?Ifamarriageceremonyisareligiousthing,itispossiblywrong;butifitisonlyasordidcontract,basedonmaterialconvenienceinhouseholding,rating,andtaxing,andtheinheritanceoflandandmoneybychildren,makingitnecessarythatthemaleparentshouldbeknown-
whichitseemstobe-whysurelyapersonmaysay,evenproclaimuponthehousetops,thatithurtsandgrieveshimorher?’
`Ihavesaidso,anyhow,toyou。’
Presentlyshewenton:`Aretheremanycouples,doyouthink,whereonedislikestheotherfornodefinitefault?’
`Yes,Isuppose。Ifeithercaresforanotherperson,forinstance。’
`Butevenapartfromthat?Wouldn’tthewoman,forexample,beverybad-naturedifshedidn’tliketolivewithherhusband;merely’-
hervoiceundulated,andheguessedthings-`merelybecauseshehadapersonalfeelingagainstit-aphysicalobjection-afastidiousness,orwhateveritmaybecalled-althoughshemightrespectandbegratefultohim?Iammerelyputtingacase。Oughtshetotrytoovercomeherpruderies?’
Judethrewatroubledlookather。Hesaid,lookingaway:`Itwouldbejustoneofthosecasesinwhichmyexperiencesgocontrarytomydogmas。Speakingasanorder-lovingman-whichIhopeIam,thoughIfearIamnot-Ishouldsay,yes。Speakingfromexperienceandunbiasednature,Ishouldsay,no……Sue,Ibelieveyouarenothappy!’
`OfcourseIam!’shecontradicted。`Howcanawomanbeunhappywhohasonlybeenmarriedeightweekstoamanshechosefreely?’
`’Chosefreely!’’
`Whydoyourepeatit?……ButIhavetogobackbythesixo’clocktrain。Youwillbestayingonhere,Isuppose?’
`ForafewdaystowindupAunt’saffairs。Thishouseisgonenow。ShallIgotothetrainwithyou?’
AlittlelaughofobjectioncamefromSue。`Ithinknot。Youmaycomepartoftheway。’
`Butstop-youcan’tgoto-night!Thattrainwon’ttakeyoutoShaston。Youmuststayandgobackto-morrow。Mrs。Edlinhasplentyofroom,ifyoudon’tliketostayhere?’
`Verywell,’shesaiddubiously。`Ididn’ttellhimIwouldcomeforcertain。’
Judewenttothewidow’shouseadjoining,toletherknow;andreturninginafewminutessatdownagain。
`Itishorriblehowwearecircumstanced,Sue-horrible!’hesaidabruptly,withhiseyesbenttothefloor。
`No!Why?’
`Ican’ttellyouallmypartofthegloom。Yourpartisthatyououghtnottohavemarriedhim。Isawitbeforeyouhaddoneit,butIthoughtImustn’tinterfere。Iwaswrong。Ioughttohave!’
`Butwhatmakesyouassumeallthis,dear?’
`Because-Icanseeyouthroughyourfeathers,mypoorlittlebird!’
Herhandlayonthetable,andJudeputhisuponit。Suedrewhersaway。
`That’sabsurd,Sue,’criedhe,`afterwhatwe’vebeentalkingabout!Iammorestrictandformalthanyou,ifitcomestothat;andthatyoushouldobjecttosuchaninnocentactionshowsthatyouareridiculouslyinconsistent!’
`Perhapsitwastooprudish,’shesaidrepentantly。`OnlyIhavefancieditwasasortoftrickofours-toofrequentperhaps。There,youmayholditasmuchasyoulike。Isthatgoodofme?’
`Yes;very。’
`ButImusttellhim。’
`Who?’
`Richard。’
`Oh-ofcourse,ifyouthinkitnecessary。Butasitmeansnothingitmaybebotheringhimneedlessly。’
`Well-areyousureyoumeanitonlyasmycousin?’
`Absolutelysure。Ihavenofeelingsofloveleftinme。’
`That’snews。Howhasitcometobe?’
`I’veseenArabella。’
Shewincedatthehit;thensaidcuriously,`Whendidyouseeher?’
`WhenIwasatChristminster。’
`Soshe’scomeback;andyounevertoldme!Isupposeyouwilllivewithhernow?’
`Ofcourse-justasyoulivewithyourhusband。’
Shelookedatthewindowpotswiththegeraniumsandcactuses,witheredforwantofattention,andthroughthemattheouterdistance,tillhereyesbegantogrowmoist。`Whatisit?’saidJude,inasoftenedtone。
`Whyshouldyoubesogladtogobacktoherif-ifwhatyouusedtosaytomeisstilltrue-Imeanifitweretruethen!Ofcourseitisnotnow!HowcouldyourheartgobacktoArabellasosoon?’
`AspecialProvidence,Isuppose,helpeditonitsway。’
`Ah-itisn’ttrue!’shesaidwithgentleresentment。`Youareteasingme-that’sall-becauseyouthinkIamnothappy!’
`Idon’tknow。Idon’twishtoknow。’
`IfIwereunhappyitwouldbemyfault,mywickedness;notthatIshouldhavearighttodislikehim!Heisconsideratetomeineverything;
andheisveryinteresting,fromtheamountofgeneralknowledgehehasacquiredbyreadingeverythingthatcomesinhisway……Doyouthink,Jude,thatamanoughttomarryawomanhisownage,oroneyoungerthanhimself-eighteenyears-asIamthanhe?’
`Itdependsuponwhattheyfeelforeachother。’
Hegavehernoopportunityofself-satisfaction,andshehadtogoonunaided,whichshedidinavanquishedtone,vergingontears:
`I-IthinkImustbeequallyhonestwithyouasyouhavebeenwithme。PerhapsyouhaveseenwhatitisIwanttosay?-thatthoughIlikeMr。Phillotsonasafriend,Idon’tlikehim-itisatorturetometo-livewithhimasahusband!-There,nowIhaveletitout-I