Mrs。Hilaryrosetoherfeet。"Whowasthecreature?"sheaskedsharply。
"Come,"Iexpostulated,"howwouldyoulikeitifyouryoungmanhadtakentotheftand——"
"Oh,nonsense。Tellmehername,please,Mr。Carter。"
"JohnnytoldHilarythatjusttoseeherandtalktoherandsitbyhersidewas’worthallthemoney’——butthen,tobesure,itwassomebodyelse’smoney——andthathe’ddoitagaintogetwhathehadgotoveragain。Then,I’msorrytosay,heswore。"
"AndHilarybelievedthatstuff?"
"Hilaryagreedwithhim,"saidI。"Hilary,yousee,knowsthelady。"
"What’shername,Mr。Carter?"
"Didn’tyounoticehisattentionstoanyone?"
"Inotice!Youdon’tmeanthatI’veseenher?"
"Certainlyyouhave。"
"Wassheeverhere?’
"Yes,Mrs。Hilary。Hilarytakescareofthat。"
"Ishallbeangryinaminute,Mr。Carter。Oh,I’llhavethisoutofHilary!"
"Ishould。"
"Whowasshe?"
"AccordingtowhathetoldHilary,shewasthemostfascinatingwomanintheworld,Hilarythoughtso,too。"
Mrs。Hilarybegantowalkupanddown。
"Oh,soHilaryhelpedtolethimgo,becausetheyboth——?"
"Precisely,"saidI。
"Andyoudaretocomeandtellme?"
"Well,Ithoughtyououghttoknow,"saidI。"Hilary’sjustasmadaboutherasJohnny——infact,hesaidhe’dbehangedifhewouldn’thavedonethesamehimself。"
IhaveonceseenMadameRistoriplayLadyMacbeth。HerperformancewasrecalledtomebythetonesinwhichMrs。Hilaryasked:
"Whoisthiswoman,ifyouplease,Mr。Carter?"
"SoHilarygothimoff——gavehimfiftypoundstoo。"
"Gladtogethimaway,perhaps,"sheburstout,inangryscorn。
"Whoknows?"saidI。"Perhaps。"
"Hername?"demandedLadyMacbeth——ImeanMrs。Hilary——again。
"Ishan’ttellyou,unlessyoupromisetosaynothingtoHilary。"
"Tosaynothing!Well,really——"
"Oh,allright!"andItookupmyhat。
"ButIcanwatchthem,can’tI?"
"Asmuchasyoulike。"
"Won’tyoutellme?"
"Ifyoupromise。"
"Well,then,Ipromise。"
"Lookintheglass。"
"Whatfor?"
"Toseeyourface,tobesure。"
Shestarted,blushedred,andmovedasteptowardsme。
"Youdon’tmean——?"shecried。
"Thouartthewoman,"saidI。
"Oh,butheneversaidaword——"
"Johnnyhadhiscode,"saidI。"Andinsomewaysitwasbetterthansomepeople’s——insome,alas!worse。"
"AndHilary?"
"ReallyyouknowbetterthanIdowhetherI’vetoldthetruthaboutHilary。"
Apauseensued。ThenMrs。Hilarymadethreeshortremarks,whichIgiveintheirorder:
(1)"Thelittlewretch!"(2)"DearoldHilary!"(3)"Poorlittleman!"
Itookmyhat。IknewthatHilarywasduefromthecityinafewminutes。Mrs。Hilarysatdownbythefire。
"Howdareyoutormentmeso?"sheasked,butnotintheleastlikeLadyMacbeth。
"Imusthavemylittleamusements,"saidI。
"Whatanaudaciouslittlecreature!"saidMrs。Hilary。"Fancyhisdaring!——Aren’tyouastounded?"
"Oh,yes,Iam。ButHilary,yousee——"
"It’snearlyhistime,"saidMrs。Hilary。
Ibuttonedmyleftgloveandheldoutmyrighthand。
"I’veagoodmindnottoshakehandswithyou,"saidshe。
"Wasn’titabsurdofHilary?"
"Horribly。"
"Heoughttohavebeenallthemoreangry。"
"Ofcourseheought。"
"Thepresumptionofit!"AndMrs。Hilarysmiled。Ialsosmiled。
"Thatpooroldmotherofhis,"reflectedMrs。Hilary。"Wheredidyousayshelived?"
"Hilaryknowstheaddress,"saidI。
"Sillylittlewretch!"musedMrs。Hilary,stillsmiling。
"Goodbye,"saidI。
"Goodbye,"saidMrs。Hilary。
Iturnedtowardthedoorandhadlaidmyhandontheknob,whenMrs。Hilarycalledsoftly:
"Mr。Carter。"
"Yes,"saidI,turning。
"Doyouknowwherethelittlewretchhasgone?"
"Oh,yes,"saidI。
"I——Isupposeyoudon’teverwritetohim?"
"Dearme,no,"saidI。
"Butyou——could?"suggestedMrs。Hilary。
"Ofcourse,"saidI。
Shejumpedupandrantowardsme。Herpursewasinonehand,andabitofpaperflutteredintheother。
"Sendhimthat——don’ttellhim,"shewhispered,andhervoicehadalittlecatchinit。"Poorlittlewretch!"saidshe。
Asforme,Ismiledcynically——quitecynically,youknow;foritwasveryabsurd。
"Pleasedo,"saidMrs。Hilary。
AndIwent。
Supposingithadbeenanotherwoman?Well,Iwonder!
ANEXPENSIVEPRIVILEGE
Aratheruncomfortablethinghappenedtheotherdaywhichthreatenedaschisminmyacquaintanceandputmeinadecidedlyawkwardposition。Itwasnootherthanthis:Mrs。HilaryMusgravehaddefinitelyinformedmethatshedidnotapproveofLadyMickleham。Theattitudeis,nodoubt,aconceivableone,butIwassurprisedthatawomanofMrs。Hilary’slargesympathiesshouldadoptit。Besides,Mrs。Hilaryisquitegood—lookingherself。
Thehistoryoftheaffairismuchasfollows:IcalledonMrs。
HilarytoseewhetherIcoulddoanything,andshetoldmeallaboutit。ItappearsthatMrs。Hilaryhadabadcoldandacousinupfromthecountryaboutthesametime(shewasjustlyaggrievedatthedoubleevent),andbeingunabletogototheDuchessofDexminster’s"squash,"sheaskedDollyMicklehamtochaperonlittleMissPhyllis。LittleMissPhyllis,ofcourse,knewnoonethere——theDuchessleastofall——(butthenveryfewofus——yes,Iwasthere——knewtheDuchess,andtheDuchessdidn’tknowanyofus;Isawhershakehandswithawaitermyself,justtobeonthesafeside),andanhourafterthepartybeganshewasdiscoveredwanderingaboutinamostdesolatecondition。
Dollyhadtoldherthatshewouldbeinacertainplace;andwhenMissPhylliscame,Dollywasnotthere。Thepoorlittleladywanderedaboutforanotherhour,lookingsolostthatonewasinclinedtosendforapoliceman;andthenshesatdownonaseatbythewall,and,indesperation,askedhernext—doorneighborifheknewLadyMicklehambysight,andhadheseenherlately?Thenext—doorneighbor,bywayofreply,calledouttoaquietelderlygentlemanwhowassidlingunobtrusivelyabout,"Duke,arethereanyparticularlysnugcornersinyourhouse?"TheDukestopped,searchedhismemory,andsaidthatattheendoftheRedCorridortherewasapassage,andthatafewyardsdownthepassage,ifyouturnedverysuddenlytotheright,youwouldcomeonalittlenookunderthestairs。Thelittlenookjustheldasettee,andthesettee(theDukethought)mightjustholdtwopeople。Thenext—doorneighborthankedtheDuke,andobservedtoMissPhyllis——
"ItwillgivemegreatpleasuretotakeyoutoLadyMickleham。"
Sotheywent,itbeingthen,accordingtoMissPhyllis’swornstatementpreciselytwohoursandfiveminutessinceDollyhaddisappeared;and,pursuingtherouteindicatedbytheDuke,theyfoundLadyMickleham。AndLadyMicklehamexclaimed,"Goodgracious,mydear,I’dquiteforgottenyou!Haveyouhadanice?
Dotakehertohaveanice,SirJohn。"(SirJohnBerrywasthenext—doorneighbor。)AndwiththatLadyMicklehamissaidtohaveresumedherconversation。
"Didyoueverhearanythingmoreatrocious?"concludedMrs。
Hilary。"IreallycannotthinkwhatLordMicklehamisdoing。"
"Yousurelymean,whatLadyMickleham——?"
"No,Idon’t,"saidMrs。Hilary,withextraordinarydecision。
"Anythingmighthavehappenedtothatpoorchild!"
"Oh,therewerenotmanyofthearistocracypresent,"saidI
soothingly。
"Butit’snotthatsomuchasthethingitself。She’sthemostdisgracefulflirtinLondon。"
"Howdoyouknowshewasflirting?"Iinquiredwithasmile。
"HowdoIknow?"echoedMrs。Hilary。
"Itisaveryhastyconclusion,"Ipersisted。"SometimesIstaytalkingwithyouforanhourormore。Areyou,therefore,flirtingwithme?"
"Withyou!"exclaimedMrs。Hilary,withalittlelaugh。
"Absurdasthesuppositionis,"Iremarked,"ityetservestopointtheargument。LadyMicklehammighthavebeentalkingwithafriend,justinthequietrationalwayinwhichwearetalkingnow。"
"Idon’tthinkthat’slikely,"saidMrs。Hilary;and——well,Idonotliketosaythatshesniffed——itwouldconveytoostronganidea,butshedidmakeanoddlittlesoundsomethinglikeamuchetherealizedsniff。
Ismiledagain,andmorebroadly。IwasenjoyingbeforehandthelittlevictorywhichIwastoenjoyoverMrs。Hilary。"Yetithappenstobetrue,"saidI。
Mrs。Hilarywasmagnificentlycontemptuous。
"LordMicklehamtoldyouso,Isuppose?"sheasked。"AndI
supposeLadyMicklehamtoldhim——poorman!"
"Whydoyoucallhim’poorman’?"
"Oh,nevermind。Didhetellyou?"
"Certainlynot。Thefactis,Mrs。Hilary——andreally,youmustexcusemeforhavingkeptyouinthedarkalittle——itamusedmesomuchtohearyoursuspicions。"
Mrs。Hilaryrosetoherfeet。
"Well,whatareyougoingtosay?"sheasked。
Ilaughed,asIanswered:"Why,IwasthemanwithLadyMicklehamwhenyourfriendandBerryinter——whentheyarrived,youknow。"
Well,Ishouldhavethought——Ishouldstillthink——thatshewouldhavebeenpleased——relieved,youknow,tofindheruncharitableopinionerroneous,andpleasedtohaveitalteredonthebestauthority。I’msurethatishowIshouldhavefelt。Itwasnot,however,howMrs。Hilaryfelt。
"Iamdeeplypained,"sheobservedafteralongpause;andthensheheldoutherhand。
"Iwassureyou’dforgivemylittledeception,"saidI,graspingit。Ithoughtstillthatshemeanttoburyallunkindness。
"Ishouldneverhavethoughtitofyou,"shewenton。
"Ididn’tknowyourfriendwasthereatall,"Ipleaded;forbynowIwasalarmed。
"Oh,pleasedon’tshufflelikethat,"saidMrs。Hilary。
Shecontinuedtostand,andIrosetomyfeet。Mrs。Hilaryheldoutherhandagain。
"DoyoumeanthatI’mtogo?"saidI。
"Ihopeweshallseeyouagainsomeday,"saidMrs。Hilary;thetonesuggestedthatshewaslookingforwardtosomefutureexistence,whenmyearthlysinsshouldhavebeensufficientlypurged。ItremindedmeforthemomentofKingArthurandQueenGuinevere。
"ButIprotest,"Ibegan,"thatmyonlyobjectintellingyouwastoshowyouhowabsurd——"
"Isitanygoodtalkingaboutitnow?"askedMrs。Hilary。A
discussionmightpossiblybefruitfulinthedimfuturitybeforementioned——butnotnow——thatwaswhatsheseemedtosay。
"LadyMicklehamandI,ontheoccasioninquestion——"Ibeganwithdignity。
"Pray,spareme,"quoteMrs。Hilary,withmuchgreaterdignity。
Itookmyhat。
"ShallyoubeathomeasusualonThursday?"Iasked。
"Ihaveagreatmanypeoplecomingalready,"sheremarked。
"Icantakeahint,"saidI。
"Iwishyou’dtakewarning,"saidMrs。Hilary。
"Iwilltakemyleave,"saidI——andIdid,leavingMrs。Hilaryinatragicattitudeinthemiddleoftheroom。NeveragainshallIgooutofmywaytolullMrs。Hilary’ssuspicions。
Adayortwoafterthisverytryinginterview,LadyMickleham’svictoriahappenedtostopoppositewhereIwasseatedinthepark。Iwenttopaymyrespects。
"Doyoumeantoleavemenothingintheworld,"Iasked,justbywayofintroducingthesubjectofMrs。Hilary。"Oneofmybestfriendshasturnedmeoutofherhouseonyouraccount。"
"Oh,dotellme,"saidDolly,dimplingalloverherface。
SoItoldher;ImadethestoryaslongasIcouldforreasonsconnectedwiththedimples。
"Whatfun!"exclaimedDolly。"Itoldyouatthetimethatayoungunmarriedpersonlikeyououghttobemorecareful。"
"Iamjustdebating,"Iobserved,"whethertosacrificeyou。"
"Tosacrificeme,Mr。Carter?"
"Ofcourse,"Iexplained;"ifIdroppedyou,Mrs。Hilarywouldletmecomeagain。"
"Howcharmingthatwouldbe!"criedDolly。"Youwouldenjoyherniceseriousconversation——allaboutHilary!"
"Sheisapt,Iconceded,"totouchonHilary。Butsheisverypicturesque。"
"Oh,yes,she’shandsome,"saidDolly。
Therewasapause。ThenDollysaid,"Well?"
"Well?"saidIinreturn。
"Itisgoodbye?"askedDolly,drawingdownthecornersofhermouth。
"Itcomestothis,"Iremarked。"SupposingIforgiveyou——"
"Asifitwasmyfault?"
"AndriskMrs。Hilary’swrath——didyouspeak?"
"No;Ilaughed,Mr。Carter。"
"WhatshallIgetoutofit?"
Thesunwasshiningbrightly;itshoneonDolly;shehadraisedherparasol,butsheblinkedalittlebeneathit。Shewassmilingslightlystill,andthedimplestucktoitspost——likeasentinel,readytorousetherestfromtheirbriefrepose。Dollylaybackinthevictoria,nestlingluxuriouslyagainstthesoftcushions。Sheturnedhereyesforamomentonme。
"Whyareyoulookingatme?"sheasked。
"Because,"saidI,"thereisnothingbettertolookat。"
"Doyoulikedoingit?"askedDolly。
"Itisaprivilege,"saidIpolitely。
"Well,then!"saidDolly。
"But,"Iventuredtoobserve,"it’sratheranexpensiveone。"
"Thenyoumustn’thaveitveryoften。"
"Anditissharedbysomanypeople。"
"Then,"saidDolly,smilingindulgently,"youmusthaveit——alittleoftener。Home,Roberts,please。"
IamnotyetallowedatMrs。HilaryMusgrave’s。
AVERYDULLAFFAIR
"Tohearyoutalk,"remarkedMrs。HilaryMusgrave——and,ifanyoneissurprisedtofindmeatherhouse,IcanonlysaythatHilary,whenheaskedmetotakeapot—luck,wasquiteignorantofanygroundofdifferencebetweenhiswifeandmyself,andthatMrs。Hilarycouldnotverywellejectmeonmyarrivalineveningdressattenminutestoeight——"tohearyoutalkonewouldthinkthattherewasnosuchthingasreallove。"
Shepaused。Ismiled。
"Now,"shecontinued,turningafine,butscornfuleyeuponme,"Ihavenevercaredforanymanintheworldexceptmyhusband。"
Ismiledagain。PoorHilarylookedveryuncomfortable。WithanapologeticairhebegantostammersomethingaboutParishCouncils。Iwasnottobedivertedbyanysuchmaneuver。Itwasimpossiblethathecouldreallywishtotalkonthatsubject。
"Wouldapersonwhohadnevereatenanythingbutbeefmakeaboastofit?"Iasked。
Hilarygrinnedcovertly。Mrs。Hilarypulledthelampnearer,andtookupherembroidery。
"Doyoualwaysworkthesamepattern?"saidI。
Hilarykickedmegently。Mrs。Hilarymadenodirectreply,butpresentlyshebegantotalk。
"IwasjustaboutPhyllis’sage——(bytheway,littleMissPhylliswasthere)——whenIfirstsawHilary。Youremember,Hilary?AtBournemouth?"
"Oh——er——wasitBournemouth?"saidHilary,withmuchcarelessness。
"Iwasonthepier,"pursuedMrs。Hilary。"Ihadaredfrockon,Iremember,andoneofthosebighatstheyworethatyear。
Hilarywore——"
"Blueserge,"Iinterpolated,encouragingly。
"Yes,blueserge,"saidshefondly。"Hehadbeenyachting,andhewasbeautifullyburnt。Iwashorriblyburnt——wasn’tI,Hilary?"
Hilarybegantopatthedog。
"Thenwegottoknowoneanother。"
"Stopaminute,"saidI。"Howdidthathappen?"Mrs。Hilaryblushed。
"Well,wewerebothalwaysonthepier,"sheexplained。
"And——andsomehowHilarygottoknowfather,and——andfatherintroducedhimtome。"
"I’mgladitwasnoworse,"saidI。IwasconsideringMissPhyllis,whosatlistening,open—eyed。
"Andthenyouknow,fatherwasn’talwaysthere;andonceortwicewemetonthecliff。Doyourememberthatmorning,Hilary?"
"Whatmorning?"askedHilary,pattingthedogwithimmenseassiduity。
"Why,themorningIhadmywhitesergeon。I’dbeenbathing,andmyhairwasdowntodry,andyousaidIlookedlikeamermaid。"
"Domermaidswearwhiteserge?"Iasked;butnobodytooktheleastnoticeofme——quiteproperly。
"Andyoutoldmesuchalotaboutyourself;andthenwefoundwewerelateforlunch。"
"Yes,"saidHilary,suddenlyforgettingthedog,"andyourmothergavemeanawfulglance。"
"Yes,andthenyoutoldmethatyouwereverypoor,butthatyoucouldn’thelpit;andyousaidyousupposedIcouldn’tpossibly——"
"Well,Ididn’tthink——!"
"AndIsaidyouwereasillyoldthing;andthen——"Mrs。Hilarystoppedabruptly。
"Howlovely,"remarkedlittleMissPhyllisinawistfulvoice。
"Anddoyouremember,"pursuedMrs。Hilary,layingdownherembroideryandclaspingherhandsonherknees,"themorningyouwenttoseefather?"
"Whatarowtherewas!"saidHilary。
"Andwhatanawfulweekitwasafterthat!Iwasneversomiserableinallmylife。Icriedtillmyeyeswerequitered,andthenIbathedthemforanhour,andthenIwenttothepier,andyouwerethere——andImightn’tspeaktoyou!"
"Iremember,"saidHilary,noddinggently。
"Andthen,Hilary,fathersentformeandtoldmeitwasnouse;
andIsaidI’dnevermarryanyoneelse。Andfathersaid,’There,there,don’tcry。We’llseewhatmothersays。’"
"Yourmotherwasabrick,"saidHilary,pokingthefire。
"Andthatnighttheynevertoldmeanythingaboutit,andI
didn’tevenchangemyfrock,butcamedown,lookinghorrible,justasIwas,inanoldblackrag——no,Hilary,don’tsayitwaspretty!"
Hilary,unconvinced,shookhishead。
"AndwhenIwalkedintothedrawingroomtherewasnobodytherebutjustyou;andweneitherofussaidanythingforeversolong。Andthenfatherandmothercameinand——doyourememberafterdinner,Hilary?"
"Iremember,"saidHilary。
Therewasalongpause。Mrs。Hilarywaslookingintothefire;
littleMissPhyllis’seyeswerefixed,inraptgaze,ontheceiling;Hilarywaslookingathiswife——I,thinkingitsafest,wasregardingmyownboots。
AtlastMissPhyllisbrokethesilence。
"Howperfectlylovely!"shesaid。
"Yes,"saidMrs。Hilary,reflectively。"Andweweremarriedthreemonthsafterwards。"
"TenthofJune,"saidHilaryreflectively。
"Andwehadthemostcharminglittleroomsintheworld!Doyourememberthosefirstrooms,dear?Sotiny!"
"Notbadlittlerooms,"saidHilary。
"Howawfullylovely,"criedlittleMissPhyllis。
Ifeltthatitwastimetointerfere。
"Andisthatall?"Iasked。
"All?Howdoyoumean?"saidMrs。Hilary,withaslightstart。
"Well,Imean,didnothingelsehappen?Weren’tthereanycomplications?Weren’tthereanymoretroubles,oranymoreopposition,oranymisunderstandings,oranything?"
"No,"saidMrs。Hilary。
"Youneverquarreled,orbrokeitoff?"
"No。"
"Nobodycamebetweenyou?"
"No。Itallwentjustperfectly。Why,ofcourseitdid。"
"Hilary’speoplemadethemselvesnasty,perhaps?"Isuggested,witharayofhope。
"Theyfellinlovewithheronthespot,"saidHilary。
ThenIroseandstoodwithmybacktothefire。
"Idonotknow,"Iobserved,"whatMissPhyllisthinksaboutit——"
"Ithinkitwasjustperfect,Mr。Carter。"
"Butformypart,IcanonlysaythatIneverheardofsuchadullaffairinallmylife。"
"Dull!"gaspedMissPhyllis。
"Dull!"murmuredMrs。Hilary。
"Dull!"chuckledHilary。
"Itwas,"saidIseverely,"withoutasparkofinterestfrombeginningtoend。Suchthingshappenbythousands。It’scommonplacenessitself。Ihadsomehopeswhenyoufatherassumedafirmattitude,but——"
"Motherwassuchadear,"interruptedMrs。Hilary。
"Justso。Shegaveawaythewholesituation。ThenIdidtrustthatHilarywouldlosehisplace,ordevelopanoldflame,ordosomethingjustalittleinteresting。"
"Itwasaperfecttime,"saidMrs。Hilary。
"Iwonderwhyintheworldyoutoldmeaboutit,"Ipursued。
"Idon’tknowwhyIdid,"saidMrs。Hilarydreamily。
"Theonlypossibleexcuseforanengagementlikethat,"I
observed,"istobefoundinintensepost—nuptialunhappiness。"
Hilaryrose,andadvancedtowardshiswife。
"Yourembroidery’sfallingonthefloor,"saidhe。
"Notabitofit,"saidI。
"Yes,itis,"hepersisted;andhepickeditupandgaveittoher。MissPhyllissmileddelightedly。Hilaryhadsqueezedhiswife’shand。
"Thenwedon’texcuseit,"saidhe。
Itookoutmywatch。Iwasnotfindingmuchentertainment。
"Surelyit’squiteearly,oldman?"saidHilary。
"It’snearlyeleven。We’vespenthalf—an—houronthething,"
saidIpeevishly,holdingoutmyhandtomyhostess。
"Oh,areyougoing?Goodnight,Mr。Carter。"
IturnedtoMissPhyllis。
"Ihopeyouwon’tthinkallloveaffairsarelikethat,"Isaid;
butIsawherlipsbegintoshapeinto"lovely,"andIhastilylefttheroom。
Hilarycametohelpmeonwithmycoat。Helookedextremelyapologetic,andverymuchashamedofhimself。
"Awfullysorry,oldchap,"saidhe,"thatweboredyouwithourreminiscences。Iknow,ofcourse,thattheycan’tbeveryinterestingtootherpeople。Womenaresoconfoundedlyromantic。"
"Don’ttrythatonme,"saidI,muchdisgusted。"Youwerejustasbadyourself。"
Helaughed,asheleantagainstthedoor。
"Shedidlookrippinginthatwhitefrock,"hesaid,"withherhair——"
"Stop,"saidIfirmly。"Shelookedjustlikealotofothergirls。"
"I’mhangedifshedid!"saidHilary。
Thenheglancedatmewithapuzzledsortofexpression。
"Isay,oldman,weren’tyoueverthatwayyourself?"heasked。
Ihailedahansomcab。
"Because,ifyouwere,youknow,you’dunderstandhowafellowremembersevery——"
"Goodnight,"saidI。"AtleastIsupposeyou’renotcomingtotheclub?"
"Well,Ithinknot,"saidHilary。"Ta—ta,oldfellow。Sorryweboredyou。Ofcourse,ifamanhasnever——"
"Never!"Igroaned。"Ascoreoftimes!"
"Well,then,doesn’tit——?
"No,"saidI。"It’sjustthatthatmakesstorieslikeyourssoinfernally——"
"What?"askedHilary;forIhadpausedtolightacigarette。
"Uninteresting,"saidI,gettingintomycab。
STRANGE,BUTTRUE
TheotherdaymyyoungcousinGeorgelunchedwithme。Heisacheeryyouth,andamemberoftheUniversityofOxford。Herefreshesmeverymuch,andIbelievethatIhavethepleasureofaffordinghimsomematterforthought。Onthisoccasion,however,hewasextremelysilentanddepressed。Isaidlittle,butmadeanextremelygoodluncheon。AfterwardsweproceededtotakeastrollinthePark。
"Sam,oldboy,"saidGeorgesuddenly,"I’mthemostmiserabledevilalive。"
"Idon’tknowwhatelseyouexpectatyourage,"Iobserved,lightingacigar。Hewalkedoninsilenceforafewmoments。
"Isay,Sam,oldboy,whenyouwereyoung,wereyouever——?"hepaused,arrangedhisneckcloth(itwasmorelikeabed—quilt——oh,thefashion,ofcourse,Iknowthat),andblushedafinecrimson。
"WasIeverwhat,George?"Ihadthecuriositytoask。
"Oh,well,hardhit,youknow——agirl,youknow。"
"Inlove,youmean,George?No,Ineverwas。"
"Never?"
"No。Areyou?"
"Yes。Hangit!"Thenhelookedatmewithapuzzledairandcontinued:
"Isay,though,Sam,it’sawfullyfunnyyoushouldn’thave——don’tyouknowwhatit’slike,then?"
"HowshouldI?"Iinquiredapologetically。"Whatisitlike,George?"
Georgetookmyarm。
"It’sjustHades,"heinformedmeconfidentially。
"Then,"Iremarked,"Ihavenoreasontoregret——?"
"Still,youknow,"interruptedGeorge,"it’snothalfbad。"
"Thatappearstometobeaparadox,"Iobserved。
"It’sprecioushardtoexplainittoyouifyou’veneverfeltit,"saidGeorge,inratheraninjuredtone。"ButwhatIsayisquitetrue。"
"Ishouldn’tthinkofcontradictingyou,mydearfellow,"I
hastenedtosay。
"Let’ssitdown,"saidhe,"andwatchthepeopledriving。Wemayseesomebody——somebodyweknow,youknow,Sam。"
"Sowemay,"saidI,andwesatdown。
"Afellow,"pursuedGeorge,withknittedbrows,"isallturnedupsidedown,don’tyouknow?"
"Howverypeculiar?"Iexclaimed。
"Onemomenthe’sthehappiestdogintheworld,andthenext——well,thenext,it’sthedeuce。"
"But,"Iobjected,"notsurelywithoutgoodreasonforsuchachange?"
"Reason?Bosh!Theleastthingdoesit。"
Iflickedtheashfrommycigar。
"Itmay,"Iremarked,"affectyouinthisextraordinaryway,butsurelyitisnotsowithmostpeople?"
"Perhapsnot,"Georgeconceded。"Mostpeoplearecold—bloodedasses。"
"Verylikelytheexplanationliesinthatfact,"saidI。
"Ididn’tmeanyou,oldchap,"saidGeorge,withapenitencewhichshowedthathehadmeantme。
"Oh,allright,allright,"saidI。
"Butwhenaman’sreallyfargonethere’snothingelseintheworldbutit。"
"Thatseemstomenottobeahealthycondition,"saidI。
"Healthy?Oh,youoldidiot,Sam!Who’stalkingofhealth?
Now,onlylastnightImetheratadance。Ihadfivedanceswithher——talkedtoherhalftheevening,infact。Well,you’dthinkthatwouldlastsometime,wouldn’tyou?"
"Ishouldcertainlyhavesupposedso,"Iassented。
"Soitwouldwithmostchaps,Idaresay,butwithme——confoundit,IfeelasifIhadn’tseenherforsixmonths!"
"But,mydearGeorge,that’ssurelyratherabsurd?Asyoutellme,youspentalongwhilewiththeyoungperson——"
"The——youngperson!"
"You’venottoldmehername,yousee。"
"No,andIshan’t。Iwonderifshe’llbeattheMusgraves’
tonight!"
"You’resure,"saidIsoothingly,"tomeethersomewhereinthecourseofthenextfewweeks。"
Georgelookedatme。Thenheobservedwithabitterlaugh:
"It’sprettyevidentyou’veneverhadit。You’reasbadasthosechapswhowritebooks。"
"Well,butsurelytheyoftendescribewithsufficientwarmthand——er——color——"
"Oh,Idaresay;butit’sallwrong。Atleast,it’snotwhatI
feel。Thenlookatthegirlsinbooks!Allbeasts!"
Georgespokewithmuchvehemence;sothatIwasledtosay:
"Theladyyouarepreoccupiedwithis,Isuppose,handsome?"
Georgeturnedswiftlyroundonme。
"Lookhere,canyouholdyourtongue,Sam?"
Inodded。
"ThenI’mhangedifIwon’tpointherouttoyou?"
"That’suncommongoodofyou,George,"saidI。
"Thenyou’llsee,"continuedGeorge。"Butit’snotonlyherlooks,youknow,she’sthemost——"
Hestopped。Lookingroundtoseewhy,Iobservedthathisfacewasred;heclutchedhiswalkingsticktightlyinhislefthand;
hisrighthandwastrembling,asifitwantedtojumpuptohishat。"Hereshecomes!Look,look!"hewhispered。
Directingmyeyestowardsthelinesofcarriageswhichrolledpastus,Iobservedagirlinavictoria;byhersidesataportlyladyofmiddleage。Thegirlwasdecidedlylikethelady;
adescriptionoftheladywouldnot,Iimagine,beinteresting。
Thegirlblushedslightlyandbowed。GeorgeandIliftedourhats。Thevictoriaanditsoccupantsweregone。Georgeleantbackwithasigh。Afteramoment,hesaid:
"Well,thatwasher。"
Therewasexpectancyinhistone。
"Shehasanextremelyprepossessingappearance,"Iobserved。
"Thereisn’t,"saidGeorge,"agirlinLondontotouchher。Sam,oldboy,Ibelieve——Ibelieveshelikesmeabit。"
"I’msureshemust,George,"saidI;andindeed,Ithoughtso。
"TheGovernor’sinfernallyunreasonable,"saidGeorge,fretfully。
"Oh,you’vementionedittohim?"
"Isoundedhim。Oh,youmaybesurehedidn’tseewhatIwasupto。Iputitquitegenerally。Hetalkedrotaboutgettingonintheworld。Whowantstogeton?"
"Who,indeed?"saidI。"Itisonlychangingwhatyouareforsomethingnobetter。"
"AndaboutwaitingtillIknowmyownmind。Isn’titenoughtolookather?"
"Ample,inmyopinion,"saidI。
Georgerosetohisfeet。
"They’vegonetoaparty,theywon’tcomeroundagain,"saidhe。
"Wemayaswellgo,mayn’twe?"
Iwasverycomfortable,soIsaidtimidly:
"Wemightseesomebodyelseweknow。"
"Oh,somebodyelsebehanged!Whowantstoseeem?"
"I’msureIdon’t。"saidIhastily,asIrosefrommyarmchair,whichwasatoncesnappedup。
Wewereabouttoreturntotheclub,whenIobservedLadyMickleham’sbarouchestandingunderthetrees。IinvitedGeorgetocomeandbeintroduced。
Hedisplayedgreatindifference。
"Shegivesagoodmanyparties,"saidI;"andperhaps——"
"ByJove!Yes,Imayaswell,"saidGeorge。"Gladyouhadthesensetothinkofthat,oldman。"
SoItookhimuptoDollyandpresentedhim。Dollywasverygracious;Georgeisanevidentlypresentableboy。Wefellintoconversation。
"Mycousin,LadyMickleham,"saidI,"hasbeentellingme——"
"Oh,shutup,Sam!"saidGeorge,not,however,appearingveryangry。
"AboutasubjectonwhichyoucanassisthimmorethanIcan,inasmuchasyouaremarried。Heisinlove。"
DollyglancedatGeorge。
"Oh,whatfun!"saidshe。
"Fun!"criedGeorge。
"Imean,howawfullyinteresting,"saidDolly,suddenlytransformingherexpression。
"Andhewantedtobeintroducedtoyoubecauseyoumightaskherandhimto——"
Georgebecamered,andbegantostammeranapology。
"Oh,Idon’tbelievehim,"saidDollykindly;"healwaysmakespeopleuncomfortableifhecan。Whatwereyoutellinghim,Mr。
George?"
"It’snousetellinghimanything。Hecan’tunderstand,"saidGeorge。
"Isshevery——?"askedDolly,fixingdoubtfullygraveeyesonmyyoungcousin。
"Sam’sseenher,"saidhe,inanexcessofshyness。
Dollyturnedtomeforanopinion,andIgaveone:
"Sheisjust,"saidI,"ascharmingashethinksher。"
Dollyleantovertomycousin,andwhispered,"Tellmehername。"
AndhewhisperedsomethingbacktoDolly。
"It’sawfullykindofyou,LadyMickleham,"hesaid。
"Iamakindoldthing,"saidDolly,alloverdimples。"Icaneasilygettoknowthem。"
"Oh,youreallyareawfullykind,LadyMickleham。"
Dollysmileduponhim,wavedherhandtome,anddroveoff,crying——
"DotrytomakeMr。Carterunderstand!"
Wewereleftalong。Georgeworeameditativesmile。Presentlyherousedhimselftosay:
"She’sreallyaverykindwoman。She’ssosympathetic。She’snotlikeyou。Iexpectshefeltitonceherself,youknow。"
"Onecannevertell,"saidIcarelessly。"Perhapsshedid——once。"
Georgefelltobroodingagain。IthoughtIwouldtryanexperiment。
"Notaltogetherbad—looking,either,isshe?"Iasked,lightingacigarette。
Georgestarted。
"What?Oh,well,Idon’tknow。Isupposesomepeoplemightthinkso。"
Hepaused,andadded,withabashful,knowingsmile——
"Youcanhardlyexpectmetogointorapturesabouther,canyou,oldman?"
Iturnedmyheadaway,buthecaughtme。
"Oh,youneedn’tsmileinthatinfernallypatronizingway,"hecriedangrily。
"Uponmyword,George,"saidI,"Idon’tknowthatIneed。"
THEVERYLATESTTHING
"It’stheverylatestthing,"saidLadyMickleham,standingbythetableinthesmokingroom,andholdinganalbuminherhand。
"Iwishithadbeenalittlelaterstill,"saidI,forIfeltembarrassed。
"Youpromise,onyourhonor,tobeabsolutelysincere,youknow,andthenyouwritewhatyouthinkofme。SeewhatalotofopinionsI’vegotalready,"andsheheldupthethickalbum。
"Itwouldbeextremelyinterestingtoreadthem,"Iobserved。
"Oh!"butthey’requiteconfidential,"saidDolly。"That’spartofthefun。"
"Idon’tappreciatethatpart,"saidI。
"Perhapsyouwillwhenyou’vewrittenyours,"suggestedLadyMickleham。
"Meanwhile,mayn’tIseetheDowager’s?"
"Well,I’llshowyoualittlebitoftheDowager’s。Lookhere:
OurdearDorotheaisstillperhapsjustathoughtwantinginseriousness,butthesenseofherpositionishavingasoberingeffect。’"
"Ihopenot,"Iexclaimedapprehensively。"Whoseisthis?"
"Archie’s。"
"MayIseeabit——?"
"Notabit,"saidDolly。"Archie’sis——isratherfoolish,Mr。
Carter。"
"SoIsuppose,"saidI。
"Dearboy!"saidDollyreflectively。
"Ihatesentiment,"saidI。"Here’salongone。Whowrote——?"
"Oh,youmustn’tlookatthat——notatthat,aboveall!"
"Whyaboveall?"Iaskedwithsomeseverity。
Dollysmiled;thensheobservedinasoothingtone。
"Perhapsitwon’tbe’aboveall’whenyou’vewrittenyours,Mr。
Carter。"
"Bytheway,"Isaidcarelessly,"IsupposeArchieseesallofthem?"
"Hehasneveraskedtoseethem,"answeredLadyMickleham。
Thereplyseemedsatisfactory;ofcourse,Archiehadonlytoask。
Itookacleanquillandpreparedtowrite。
"Youpromisetobesincere,youknow,"Dollyremindedme。
Ilaiddownmypen。
"Impossible!"saidIfirmly。
"O,butwhy,Mr。Carter?"
"Therewouldbeanendofourfriendship。"
"Doyouthinkasbadlyofmeasallthat?"askedDollywitharuefulair。
Ileantbackinmychair,andlookedatDolly。Shelookedatme。
Shesmiled。Imayhavesmiled。
"Yes,"saidI。
"Thenyouneedn’twriteitquitealldown,"saidDolly。
"Iamobliged,"saidI,takingupmypen。
"Youmustn’tsaywhatisn’ttrue,butyouneedn’tsayeverythingthatis——thatmightbe——true,"explainedDolly。
This,again,seemedsatisfactory。Ibegantowrite,Dollysittingoppositemewithherelbowsonthetable,andwatchingme。
Aftertenminutes’steadywork,whichincludedseveralpausesforreflection,Ithrewdownthepen,leantbackinmychair,andlitacigarette。
"Nowreadit,"saidDolly,herchininherhandsandhereyesfixedonme。
"Itis,onthewhole,"Iobserved,"complimentary。"
"No,really,"saidDolly。"Yetyoupromisedtobesincere。"
"Youwouldnothavehadmedisagreeable?"Iasked。
"That’sadifferentthing,"saidDolly。"Readit,please。"
"LadyMickleham,"Iread,"isusuallyaccountedapersonofconsiderableattractions。Sheiswidelypopular,andmorethanonewomanhasbeenknowntolikeher。"
"Idon’tquiteunderstandthat,"interruptedDolly。
"Itissurelysimple,"saidI;andIreadonwithoutdelay。"Sheiskindeventoherhusband,andtakestheutmostpainstoconcealfromhermother—in—lawanythingcalculatedtodistressthatlady。"
"Isupposeyoumeanthattobenice?"saidDolly。
"Ofcourse,"Ianswered;andIproceeded:"Shenevergivespaintoanyone,exceptwiththeobjectofgivingpleasuretosomebodyelse,andherkindnessisnolesswidelydiffusedthanitisheartyandsincere。"
"Thatreallyisnice,"saidDolly,smiling。
"Thankyou,"saidI,smilingalso。"Sheisverycharitable;shetakesapleasureinencouragingtheshyandbashful——"
"Howdoyouknowthat?"askedDolly。
"While,"Ipursued,"sufferingwithoutimpatienceaconsiderableamountofself—assurance。"
"Youcan’tknowwhetherI’mpatientornot,"remarkedDolly。
"I’mpolite。"
"Shethinks,"Ireadon,"noevilofthemostattractiveofwomen,andhasasmileforthemostunattractiveofmen。"
"Youputthatverynicely,"saidDolly,nodding。
"Theformermayconstantlybeseeninherhouse——andthelatteratleastasoftenasmanypeoplewouldthinkdesirable。"(HereforsomereasonDollylaughed。)"Herintellectualpowersarenotdespicable。"
"Thankyou,Mr。Carter。"
"Shecansaywhatshemeansontheoccasionsonwhichshewishestodoso,andsheis,atothertimes,equallycapableofmeaningmuchmorethanshewouldbelikelytosay。"
"Howdoyoumeanthat,Mr。Carter,please?"
"Itexplainsitself,"saidI,andIproceeded:"Thefactofherreceivingaremarkwithdisapprobationdoesnotnecessarilymeanthatitcausesherdispleasure,normustitbeassumedthatshedidnotexpectavisitormerelyonthegroundthatshegreetshimwithsurprise。"
HereIobservedLadyMicklehamlookingatmerathersuspiciously。
"Idon’tthinkthat’squiteniceofyou,Mr。Carter,"shesaidpathetically。
"LadyMicklehamis,inshort,"Iwenton,comingtomyperoration,"equallydeservingofesteemandaffection——"
"Esteemandaffection!Thatsoundsjustright,"saidDollyapprovingly。
"Andthosewhohavebeenadmittedtotheenjoymentofherfriendshipareunanimousindiscouragingallothersfromseekingasimilarprivilege。"
"Ibegyourpardon?"criedLadyMickleham。
"Areunanimous,"Irepeated,slowlyanddistinctly,"indiscouragingallothersfromseekingasimilarprivilege。"
Dollylookedatme,withherbrowslightlypuckered。Ileantback,puffingatmycigarette。Presently——fortherewasquitealongpause——Dolly’slipscurved。
"Mymentalpowersarenotdespicable,"sheobserved。
"Ihavesaidso,"saidI。
"IthinkIsee,"sheremarked。
"Isthereanythingwrong?"Iaskedanxiously。
"N—no,"saidDolly,"notexactlywrong。Infact,IratherthinkIlikethatlastbitbest。Still,don’tyouthink——?
Sherose,cameroundthetable,tookupthepen,andputitbackinmyhand。"What’sthisfor?"Iasked。
"Tocorrectthemistake,"saidDolly。
"Doyoureallythinkso?"saidI。
"I’mafraidso,"saidDolly。
Itookthepenandmadeacertainalteration。Dollytookupthealbum。
"’Areunanimous,’"sheread,"inencouragingallotherstoseekasimilarprivilege。’Yes,youmeantthat,youknow,Mr。
Carter。"
"IsupposeImusthave,"saidIrathersulkily。
"Theotherwasnonsense,"urgedDolly。
"Oh,utternonsense,"saidI。
"Andyouhadtowritethetruth!"
"Yes,Ihadtowritesomeofit。"
"Andnonsensecan’tbethetruth,canit,Mr。Carter?"
"Ofcourseitcan’t,LadyMickleham。"
"Whereareyougoing,Mr。Carter?"sheasked;forIrosefrommychair。
"Tohaveaquietsmoke,"saidI。
"Alone?"askedDolly。
"Yes,alone,"saidI。
Iwalkedtowardsthedoor。Dollystoodbythetablefingeringthealbum。Ihadalmostreachedthedoor;thenIhappenedtolookround。
"Mr。Carter!"saidDolly,asthoughanewideahadstruckher。
"Whatisit,LadyMickleham?"
"Well,youknow,Mr。Carter,I——Ishalltrytoforgetthatmistakeofyours。"
"You’reverykind,LadyMickleham。"
"But,"saidDollywithatroubledsmile,"I——I’mquiteafraidI
shan’tsucceed,Mr。Carter。"
Afterall,thesmokingroomismeantforsmoking。
ANUNCOUNTEDHOUR
Wewerestanding,LadyMicklehamandI,atadoorwhichledfromthemorningroomtotheterraceatTheTowers。Iwasonavisittothehistoricpile(byVanbrugh——outofthemoneyaccumulatedbythethirdEarl——PaymastertotheForces——temp。QueenAnne)。
Themorningroomisalargeroom。Archiewassomewhereinit。
LadyMicklehamheldajarcontainingpatedefoiegras;fromtimetotimeshedugapieceoutwithaforkandflungthemorseltoabigretrieverwhichwassittingontheterrace。Themorningwasfine,butcloudy。LadyMicklehamworeblue。Thedogswallowedthepatewithgreediness。
"It’ssobadforhim,"sighedshe;"butthedearlikesitsomuch。"
"Howhumanthecreaturesare,"saidI。
"Doyouknow,"pursuedLadyMickleham,"thattheDowagersaysI’mextravagant。Shethinksdogsoughtnottobefedonpatedefoiegras。"
"Yourextravagance,"Iobserved,"isprobablyduetoyourhavingbeenbroughtuponamoderateincome。Ihavefelttheeffectmyself。"
"Ofcourse,"saidDolly,"wearehitbytheagriculturaldepression。"
"TheCartersalso,"Imurmured,"arelandedgentry。"
"Afterall,Idon’tseemuchpointineconomy,doyou,Mr。Carter?"
"Economy,"Iremarked,puttingmyhandsinmypockets,"isgoingwithoutsomethingyoudowantincaseyoushould,someday,wantsomethingwhichyouprobablywon’twant。"
"Isn’tthatclever?"askedDollyinanapprehensivetone。
"Oh,dear,no,"Iansweredreassuringly。"Anybodycandothat——iftheycaretotry,youknow。"
Dollytossedapieceofpatetotheretriever。
"Ihavemadeadiscoverylately,"Iobserved。
"Whatareyoutwotalkingabout?"calledArchie。
"You’renotmeanttohear,"saidDolly,withoutturninground。
"Yet,ifit’sadiscovery,heoughttohearit。"
"He’smadeagoodmanylately,"saidDolly。
Shedugoutthelastbitofpate,flungittothedog,andhandedtheemptypottome。
"Don’tbesoallegorical,"Iimplored。"Besides,it’sreallynotjusttoArchie。Nodoubtthedogisaniceone,but——"
"Howfoolishyouarethismorning!What’sthediscovery?"
"Anentirelysurprisingone。"
"Oh,butletmehear!It’snothingaboutArchie,isit?"
"No,I’vetoldyouallArchie’ssins。"
"NorMrs。Hilary?IwishitwasMrs。Hilary!"
"Shallwewalkontheterrace?"Isuggested。
"Oh,yes,let’s,"saidDolly,steppingout,andputtingonabroad—brimmed,low—crownedhat,whichshecaughtupfromachairhardby。"Itisn’tMrs。Hilary?"sheadded,sittingdownonagardenseat。
"No,"saidI,leaningonasundialwhichstoodbytheseat。
"Well,whatisit?"
"Itissimple,"saidI,"andserious。Itisnot,therefore,likeyou,LadyMickleham。"
"It’slikeMrs。Hilary,"saidDolly。
"No;becauseitisn’tpleasant。Bytheway,youarejealousofMrs。Hilary?"
Dollysaidnothingatall。Shetookoffherhat,roughenedherhairalittle,andassumedaneffectivepose。Still,itisafact(forwhatitisworth)thatshedoesn’tcaremuchaboutMrs。Hilary。
"Thediscovery,"Icontinued,"isthatI’mgrowingmiddle—aged。"
"Youaremiddle—aged,"saidDolly,spearingherhatwithitslongpin。
Iwas,verynaturally,nettledatthis。
"Sowillyoubesoon,"Iretorted。
"Notsoon,"saidDolly。
"Someday,"Iinsisted。
Afterapauseofabouthalfaminute,Dollysaid,"Isupposeso。"
"Youwillbecome,"Ipursued,idlydrawingpatternswithmyfingeronthesundial,"wrinkled,rough,fat——and,perhaps,good。"
"You’reverydisagreeabletoday,"saidDolly。
Sheroseandstoodbyme。
"Whatdothemottoesmean?"sheasked。
Thereweretwo;Iwillnotsaytheycontradictedoneanother,buttheylookedatlifefromdifferentpointsofview。
"Pereuntetimputantur,"Iread。
"Well,what’sthat,Mr。Carter?"
"Atrite,butoffensive,assertion,"saidI,lightingacigarette。
"Butwhatdoesitmean?"sheasked,apuckeronherforehead。
"Whatdoesitmatter?"saidI。"Let’strytheother。"
"Theotherislonger。"
"Andbetter。Horasnonnumeronisiserenas。"
"Andwhat’sthat?"
Itranslatedliterally。Dollyclappedherhands,andherfacegleamedwithsmiles。
"Ilikethatone,"shecried。
"Stop!"saidIimperatively。"You’llsetitmoving!"
"It’sverysensible,"saidshe。
"Morefreelyrendered,itmeans,Iliveonlywhenyou——"
"ByJove!"remarkedArchie,comingupbehindus,pipeinmouth,"therewasalotofrainlastnight。I’vejustmeasureditinthegauge。"
"Somepeoplemeasureeverything,"saidI,withadispleasedair。
"Itisadetestablehabit。"
"Archie,whatdoesPereuntetimputanturmean?"
"Eh?Oh,Isee。Well,Isay,Carter!——Oh,well,youknow,I
supposeitmeansyou’vegottopayforyourfun,doesn’tit?"
"Oh,isthatall?Iwasafraiditwassomethinghorrid。Whydidyoufrightenme,Mr。Carter?"
"Ithinkitisratherhorrid,"saidI。
"Why,itisn’teventrue,"saidDollyscornfully。
NowwhenIheardthisancientandrespectablelegendthuscavalierlychallenged,Ifelltostudyingitagain,andpresentlyIexclaimed:
"Yes,you’reright!Ifitsaidthat,itwouldn’tbetrue;butArchietranslateditwrong。"
"Well,youhaveashot,"suggestedArchie。
"Theoystersareeatenandputdowninthebill,"saidI。"Andyouwillobserve,Archie,thatitdoesnotsayinwhosebill。"
"Ah!"saidDolly。
"Well,somebody’sgottopay,"persistedArchie。
"Oh,yes,somebody,"laughedDolly。
"Well,Idon’tknow,"saidArchie。"Isupposethechapthathasthefun——"
"It’snotalwaysachap,"observedDolly。
"Well,thentheindividual,"amendedArchie。"Isupposehe’dhavetopay。"
"Itdoesn’tsayso,"Iremarkedmildly。"Andaccordingtomysmallexperience——"
"I’mquitesureyourmeaningisright,Mr。Carter,"saidDollyinanauthoritativetone。
"Asfortheothermotto,Archie,"saidI,"itmerelymeansthatawomanconsidersallhourswastedwhichshedoesnotspendinthesocietyofherhusband。"
"Oh,come,youdon’tgammonme,"saidArchie。"Itmeansthatthesundon’tshineunlessit’sfine,youknow。"
Archiedeliveredthisremarkablediscoveryinatoneofgreatselfsatisfaction。
"Oh,youdearoldthing!"saidDolly。
"Well,itdoesyouknow,"saidhe。
Therewasapause。Archiekissedhiswife(Iamnotcomplaining;
hehas,ofcourse,aperfectrighttokisshiswife)andstrolledawaytowardthehothouses。
Ilitanothercigarette。ThenDolly,pointingtothestemofthedial,cried:
"Why,here’sanotherinscription——oh,andinEnglish?"
Shewasright。Therewasanother——carelesslyscratchedontheoldbatteredcolumn——nearlyeffaced,forthecharactershadbeenbutlightlymarked——andyetnot,asIconceivedfromthetenorofthewords,veryold。
"Whatisit?"askedDolly,peeringovermyshoulder,asIbentdowntoreadtheletters,andshadinghereyeswithherhand。
(Whydidn’tsheputonherhat?WetouchtheIncomprehensible。)
"Itis,"saidI,"asingularlypoor,shallow,feeble,andundesirablelittleverse。"
"Readitout,"saidDolly。
SoIreadit。Thesillyfellowhadwritten:
LifeisLove,thepoetstellus,Inthelittlebookstheysellus;Butpray,ma’am——what’sofLifetheUse,IfLifebeLove?
ForLove’stheDeuce。
Dollybegantolaughgently,diggingthepinagainintoherhat。
"Iwonder,"shesaid,"whethertheyusedtocomeandsitbythisolddialjustaswedidthismorning!"
"Ishouldn’tbeatallsurprised,"saidI。"Andanotherpointoccurstome,LadyMickleham。"
"Oh,doesit?What’sthat,Mr。Carter?"
"Doyouthinkthatanybodymeasuredtheraingauge!"
Dollylookedatmeverygravely。
"I’msosorrywhenyoudothat,"saidshepathetically。
Ismiled。
"Ireallyam,"saiddolly。"Butyoudon’tmeanit,doyou?"
"Certainlynot,"saidI。
Dollysmiled。
"Nomorethanhedid!"saidI,pointingtothesundial。
Andthenwebothsmiled。
"Willthishourcount,Mr。Carter?"askedDolly,assheturnedaway。
"Thatwouldberatherstrict,"saidI。
AREMINISCENCE
"Iknowexactlywhatyourmotherwants,Phyllis,"observedMrs。
Hilary。
"It’sjusttoteachthemtheordinarythings,"saidlittleMissPhyllis。
"Whataretheordinarythings?"Iventuredtoask。
"Whatallgirlsaretaught,ofcourse,Mr。Carter,"saidMrs。
Hilary。"I’llwriteaboutitatonce。"AndshelookedatmeasifshethoughtthatImightbeabouttogo。
"Itisacomprehensivecurriculum,"Iremarked,crossingmylegs,"ifonemayjudgefromtheresults。Howoldareyouryoungersisters,MissPhyllis?"
"Fourteenandsixteen,"sheanswered。
"Itisapity,"saidI,"thatthisdidn’thappenalittlewhileback。Iknewagovernesswhowouldhavesuitedtheplacetoat。’"
Mrs。Hilarysmiledscornfully。
"Weusedtomeet——"Icontinued。
"Whousedtomeet?"askedMissPhyllis。
"Thegovernessandmyself,tobesure,"saidI,"undertheoldappletreeinthegardenatthebackofthehouse。"
"Whathouse,Mr。Carter?"
"Myfather’shouse,ofcourse,MissPhyllis。And——"
"Oh,butthatmustbeagesago!"criedshe。
Mrs。Hilaryrose,castoneglanceatme,andturnedtothewritingtable。Herpenbegantoscratchalmostimmediately。
"Andundertheappletree,"Ipursued,"wehadmanypleasantconversations。"
"Whatabout?"askedMissPhyllis。
"Onethingandanother,"Ireturned。"Theschoolroomwindowslookedoutthatway——acircumstancewhichmademattersmorecomfortableforeverybody。"
"Ishouldhavethought——"beganMissPhyllis,smilingslightly,butkeepinganapprehensiveeyeonMrs。Hilary’sback。
"Notatall,"Iinterrupted。"Mysisterssawus,yousee。Well,ofcoursetheyentertainedanincreasedrespectforme,whichwasallright,andadecreasedrespectforthegoverness,whichwasalsoallright。WemetinthehourallottedtoFrenchlessons——byanundesignedbutappropriatecoincidence。"
"Ishallsayaboutthirty—five,Phyllis,"calledMrs。Hilaryfromthewritingtable。
"Yes,CousinMary,"calledMissPhyllis。"Didyoumeetoften,Mr。Carter?"
"EveryeveningintheFrenchhour,"saidI。
"She’llhavegotoveranynonsensebythen,"calledMrs。Hilary。
"Theyareoftenfullofit。"
"Shehadremarkablyprettyhair,"Icontinued;"verysoftitwas。
Dearme!Iwasjusttwenty。"
"Howoldwasshe?"askedMissPhyllis。
"One’sfirstlove,"saidI,"isneveranyage。Everythingwentverywell。Happinesswasimpossible。Iwasheartbroken,andthegovernesswasfarfromhappy。Ah,happy,happytimes!"
"Butyoudon’tseemtohavebeenhappy,"objectedMissPhyllis。
"Thencameaterribleevening——"
"Sheoughttobeapersonofactivehabits,"calledMrs。Hilary。
"Ithinkso,yes,CousinMary;oh,whathappened,Mr。Carter?"
"Andanearlyriser,"addedMrs。Hilary。
"Yes,CousinMary。Whatdidhappen,Mr。Carter?"
"MymothercameinduringtheFrenchhour。Idon’tknowwhetheryouhaveobserved,MissPhyllis,howeasyitistoslipintothehabitofenteringroomswhenyouhadbetterremainoutside。Now,evenmyfriendArch——However,that’sneitherherenorthere。Mymother,asIsay,camein。"
"ChurchofEngland,ofcourse,Phyllis?"calledMrs。Hilary。
"Oh,ofcourse,cousinMary,"criedlittleMissPhyllis。
"Thesectmakesnodifference,"Iobserved。"Well,mysisters,likegoodgirls,begantorepeattheirregularverbs。Butitwasnouse。Wewerediscovered。Thatnight,MissPhyllis,Inearlydrownedmyself。"
"Youmusthavebeen——Oh,howawful,Mr。Carter!"
"Thatistosay,IthoughthoweffectiveitwouldbeifIdrownedmyself。Ah,well,itcouldn’tlast!"
"Andthegoverness?"
"Sheleftnextmorning。"
Therewasapause。MissPhyllislookedsadandthoughtful;I
smiledpensivelyandbeatmycaneagainstmyleg。
"Haveyoueverseenhersince?"askedMissPhyllis。
"No。"
"Shouldn’t——shouldn’tyouliketo,Mr。Carter?"
"Heavenforbid!"saidI。
SuddenlyMrs。Hilarypushedbackherchair,andturnedroundtous。
"Well,Ideclare,"saidshe,"Imustbegrowingstupid。HerehaveIbeenwritingtotheAgency,whenIknowoftheverythingmyself!ThePolwheedles’governessisjustleavingthem;she’sbeenthereoverfifteenyears。LadyPolwheedletoldmeshewasatreasure。Iwonderifshe’dgo!"
"Isshewhatmammawants?"
"Mydear,you’llbemostluckytogether。I’llwriteatonceandaskhertocometolunchtomorrow。Imetherthere。She’sanadmirableperson。"
Mrs。Hilarywheeledroundagain。IshookmyheadatMissPhyllis。
"Poorchildren!"saidI。"Manageabitoffunforthemsometimes。"
MissPhyllisassumedastaidandvirtuousair。
"Theymustbeproperlybroughtup,Mr。Carter,"saidshe。
"IsthereaHouseOpposite?"Iasked;andMissPhyllisblushed。
Mrs。Hilaryadvanced,holdingoutaletter。
"Youmayaswellpostthisforme,"saidshe。"Oh,andwouldyouliketocometolunchtomorrow?"
"TomeettheParagon?"
"No。She’llbethere,ofcourse;butyouseeit’sSaturday,andHilarywillbehere;andIthoughtyoumighttakehimoffsomewhereandleavePhyllisandmetohaveaquiettalkwithher。"
"Thatwon’tamusehermuch,"Iventuredtoremark。
"She’snotcomingtobeamused,"saidMrs。Hilaryseverely。
"Allright;I’llcome,"saidI,takingmyhat。
"Here’sthenoteforMissBannerman,"saidMrs。Hilary。
Thatsortofthingneversurprisesme。Ilookedattheletterandread"MissM。E。Bannerman。""M。E。"stoodfor"MaudElizabeth。"Iputmyhatbackonthetable。
"WhatsortofalookingpersonisthisMissBannerman?"Iasked。
"Oh,aspare,uprightwoman——hairalittlegray,and——Idon’tknowhowtodescribeit——herfacelooksalittleweather—beaten。
Shewearsglasses。"
"Thankyou,"saidI。"AndwhatsortofalookingpersonamI?"
Mrs。Hilarylookedscornful。MissPhyllisopenedhereyes。
"HowolddoIlook,MissPhyllis?"Iasked。
"Idon’tknow,"shesaiduncomfortably。
"Guess,"saidIsternly。
"F—forty—three——oh,orforty—two?"sheasked,withatimidupwardglance。
"Whenyou’vedoneyournonsense——"beganMrs。Hilary;butIlaidahandonherarm。
"Shouldyoucallmefat?"Iasked。
"Oh,no;notfat,"saidMrs。Hilary,withasmile,whichshestrovetorenderreassuring。
"Iamundoubtedlybald,"Iobserved。
"You’recertainlybald,"saidMrs。Hilary,withregretfulcandor。
Itookmyhatandremarked:"Amanhasarighttothinkofhimself,butIamnotthinkingmainlyofmyself。Ishallnotcometolunch。"
"Yousaidyouwould,"criedMrs。Hilaryindignantly。
Ipoisedtheletterinmyhand,readingagain"MissM(aud)
E(lizabeth)Bannerman。"MissPhyllislookedatmecuriously,Mrs。Hilaryimpatiently。
"Whoknows,"saidI,"thatImaynotbeaRomance——aVanishedDream——aGreenMemory——anOasis?ApersonwhohasthefortunetobeanOasis,MissPhyllis,shouldbeverycareful。Iwillnotcometolunch。"
"DoyoumeanthatyouusedtoknowMissBannerman?"askedMrs。
Hilaryinherpleasantprosaicway。
Itwasasinseventeenyearsold;itwouldhardlycountagainsttheblamelessMissBannermannow。"YoumaytellherwhenI’mgone,"saidItoMissPhyllis。
MissPhylliswhisperedinMrs。Hilary’sear。
"Another?"criedMrs。Hilary,aghast。
"Itwastheveryfirst,"saidI,defendingmyself。
Mrs。Hilarybegantolaugh。Ismoothedmyhat。
"Tellher,"saidI,"thatIrememberedherverywell。"
"Ishalldonosuchthing,"saidMrs。Hilary。
"Andtellher,"Icontinued,"thatIamstillhandsome。"
"Ishan’tsayawordaboutyou,"saidMrs。Hilary。
"Ah,well,thatwillbebetterstill,"saidI。
"She’llhaveforgottenyourveryname,"remarkedMrs。Hilary。
Iopenedthedoor,butathoughtstruckme。Iturnedroundandobserved:
"Idaresayherhair’sjustassoftasever。Still——I’lllunchsomeotherday。"
AVERYFINEDAY
"Iseenothingwhatevertolaughat,"saidMrs。Hilarycoldly,whenIhadfinished。
"Ididnotaskyoutolaugh,"Iobservedmildly。"Imentioneditmerelyasatypicalcase。"
"It’snottypical,"shesaid,andtookupherembroidery。Butamomentlatersheadded:
"Poorboy!I’mnotsurprised。"
"I’mnotsurprisedeither,"Iremarked。"Itis,however,extremelydeplorable。"
"It’syourownfault。Whydidyouintroducehim?"
"Abook,"Iobserved,"mightbewrittenontheInjusticeoftheJust。HowcouldIsupposethathewould——?"
Bytheway,Imightaswellstatewhathe——thatis,myyoungcousinGeorge——haddone。Unlessoneisagenius,itisbesttoaimatbeingintelligible。
Well,hewasinlove;andwithaviewofprovidinghimwithanotherhouseatwhichhemightbelikelytomeettheadoredobject,IpresentedhimtomyfriendLadyMickleham。ThatwasonaTuesday。Afortnightlater,asIwassittinginHydePark(asIsometimesdo),Georgecameupandtookthechairnexttome。I
gavehimacigarette,butmadenoremark。Georgebeathiscanerestlesslyagainstthelegofhistrousers。
"I’vegottogouptomorrow,"heremarked。
"Ah,well,Oxfordisadelightfultown,"saidI。
"D————dhole,"observedGeorge。
Iwasabouttocontestthisopinionwhenavictoriadroveby。
Agirlsatinit,sidebysidewithaportlylady。
"George,George!"Icried。"Theresheis——Look!"
Georgelooked,raisedhishatwithsufficientpoliteness,andremarkedtome:
"Hangit,oneseesthosepeopleeverywhere。"
Iamnoteasilysurprised,butIconfessIturnedtoGeorgewithanexpressionofwonder。
"Afortnightago——"Ibegan。
"Don’tbeanass,Sam,"saidGeorge,rathersharply。"She’snotabadgirl,but——"Hebrokeoffandbegantowhistle。Therewasalongpause。Ilitacigar,andlookedatthepeople。
"IlunchedattheMicklehams’today,"saidGeorge,drawingafigureonthegravelwithhiscane。"Mickleham’snotabadfellow。"
"Oneofthebestfellowsalive,"Iagreed。
"Iwonderwhyshemarriedhim,though,"musedGeorge;andheadded,withapparentirrelevance,"It’sadashedbore,goingup。"
Andthenasmilespreadoverhisface;ablushaccompaniedit,andproclaimedGeorge’ssenseofdeliciouswickedness。Iturnedonhim。
"Outwithit!"Isaid。
"It’snothing。Don’tbeafool,"saidGeorge。
"Wheredidyougetthatrose?"Iasked。
"Thisrose?"herepeated,fondlingtheblossom。"Itwasgiventome。"
UponthisIgroaned——andIstillconsiderthatIhadgoodreasonformyaction。Itwasthegroanofamoralist。
"They’veaskedmetostayatTheTowersnextvac。,"saidGeorge,glancingatmeoutofthecornerofanimmoraleye。Perhapshethoughtittooimmoral,forheadded,"It’sallright,Sam。"I
believethatIhaveasmuchselfcontrolasmostpeople,butatthispointIchuckled。
"Whatthedeuceareyoulaughingat?"askedGeorge。
Imadenoanswer,andhewenton——
"Younevertoldmewhata——whatshewaslike,Sam。Wantedtokeepittoyourself,youolddog。"
"George——George——George!"saidI。"Yougouptomorrow?"
"Yes,confoundit!"
"Andtermlaststwomonths?"
"Yes,hangit!"
"Alliswell,"saidI,crossingmylegs。"ThereismorevirtueintwomonthsthaninTenCommandments。"
Georgeregardedmewithadispassionateair。
"You’reanawfulasssometimes,"heobservedcritically,andherosefromhisseat。
"Mustyougo?"saidI。
"Yes——gotalotofthingstodo。Lookhere,Sam,don’tgoandtalkabout——"
"Talkaboutwhat?"
"Anything,youoldidiot,"saidGeorge,withapleasedsmile,andhedugmeintheribswithhiscane,anddeparted。
Isaton,admiringthesimpleelementswhichconstitutethehappinessoftheyoung。Alas!Withadvancingyears,Wrongloseshalfitsflavor!Tobeimproperceases,byitself,tosatisfy。
Immersedinthesereflections,Ifailedtonoticethatabarouchehadstoppedoppositetome;andsuddenlyIfoundafootmanaddressingme。
"Begyourpardon,sir,"hesaid。"Herladyshipwishestospeaktoyou。"
"Itisablessedthingtobeyoung,Martin,"Iobserved。
"Yes,sir,"saidMartin。"It’safineday,sir。"
"Butveryshort,"saidI。Martinisrespectful,andsaidnothing——tome,atleast。Whathesaidtothecoachman,Idon’tknow。
AndthenIwentuptoDolly。
"Getinanddriveround,"suggestedDolly。
"Ican’t,"saidI。"Ihaveabadnose。"
"What’sthematterwithyournose?"askedDolly,smiling。
"Thejointisinjured,"saidI,gettingintothebarouche。AndI
addedseverely,"IsupposeI’dbettersitwithmybacktothehorses?"
"Oh,no,you’renotmyhusband,"saidDolly。"Sithere;"andshemaderoombyher,asshecontinued,"IratherlikeMr。George。"
"I’mashamedofyou,"Iobserved。"Consideringyourage——"
"Mr。Carter!"
"Considering,Isay,hisage,yourconductisscandalous。I
shallneverintroduceanyniceboystoyouagain。"
"Oh,pleasedo,"saidDolly,claspingherhands。
"Yougivethemroses,"saidI,accusingly。"Youmakethemfalsetotheirearliestloves——"
"Shewasapudding—facedthing,"observedDolly。
Ifrowned。Dolly,byanaccident,allowedthetipofherfingertotouchmyarmforaninstant。
"He’saniceboy,"saidshe。"Howlikeheistoyou,Mr。Carter!"
"Iamalongwaypastthat,"saidI。"Iamthirty—six。"
"Ifyoumeantobedisagreeable!"saidsheturningaway。"Ibegyourpardonfortouchingyou,Mr。Carter。"
"Ididnotnoticeit,LadyMickleham。"
"Wouldyouliketogetout?"
"It’smilesfrommyclub,"saidIdiscontentedly。